


folklore: the BTS au series

by taytaedaylight13



Category: Taylor Swift (Musician), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bangtan Universe, Angst, Drama, F/M, Fantasy, Kim Namjoon - Freeform, Kim Seokjin - Freeform, Min Yoongi - Freeform, One True Pairing, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Male Character, Romance, Series, Slice of Life, Smut, Tragedy, bts - Freeform, jeon jungkook - Freeform, jung hoseok - Freeform, kim taehyung - Freeform, park jimin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 208,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taytaedaylight13/pseuds/taytaedaylight13
Summary: folk·lore/ˈfōklôr/noun: the traditional beliefs, customs, and stories of a community, passed through the generations by word of mouth.“Seven stories huh?”Kayla couldn’t believe the one last thing her grandmother had left for her before she passed away.A collection of stories of heartbreak, love, summer, seasons, time, lost feelings, fated connections and the aftermath of how real life is more heart wrenching than any sad movie ending ever written.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 9





	1. Prologue + august: a Kim Namjoon story

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Kaila here 🤗
> 
> Welcome to my first ever BTS au series 💜  
> featuring of course Taylor Swift’s new album, “folklore”
> 
> Each BTS member will feature a different song title on folklore. And... some of the stories and characters are interconnected. So I hope you look forward to it! 🙂
> 
> In this au series, I will be inserting BGM’s (background music) throughout this whole series. 🎶  
> You can listen to the songs that helped me get inspired to write through this whole series. 💖
> 
> I hope this series touches your heart like it did to me as I’m completing it to the best of my writing abilities. 🥺
> 
> PS: there will be languages aside from English throughout this series, so apologies already if the grammar isn’t that accurate in those languages I’ve chosen as a theme. 😂
> 
> SPECIAL THANK YOU TO TRISH AND RISA FOR BEING MY BIGGEST SUPPORTERS 😢💗 you two are the other reasons why writing is my safe haven because I have people to share them with~
> 
> Trigger Warning ⚠️  
> there will be mention of blood and bleeding, so pls do proceed with caution.
> 
> WELL, ON WITH THE STORY! ☕️

***  
 ** _Prologue: the last great ~~fateful~~ dynasty_**

_Summer of 2020:_   
_Trouville-sur-Mer, northern France_

I didn’t know what and how I should react when I opened that dusty book in my grandmother’s attic that one summer.  
 _“Kayla my dear, I’m giving to you the one last thing I want to pass down before I pass away soon.”_  
 _“What is it then, the one thing you want to give to me, grandmama?”_  
I remember her just giving me her usual warm and sincere smile while caressing my cheeks saying,  
 _“You’ll find out soon my dear. Okay?”_

It was a sunny day when I rode up on the afternoon train.

It had been a month since my grandmother passed away. And here I am standing in front of the holiday house that she named _‘America’_ for some weird reason.

How did I end up here? Well, she refused to sell the house to anyone else saying that I was the only one who she wanted to pass the house over to. So here I am.  
“I cannot believe she wanted a 25 year old to take over a house all by herself on another continent. What was she thinking?!”  
My grandmother was really something else sometimes. With a sigh, I didn’t know why my parents easily agreed to this but that is that.  
“Haaaa... well... this is going to be my new home now.”  
The houses around here in the coastal part of France were really old school, like mini castles and stuff right by the beautiful white sandy beach, but somehow it felt like I was staring at a scene from a movie. Of course, it included America.  
“My, my, my, is that you Kayla?”  
I blinked in surprise when a voice then called out to my name that as I turned around to see who, it was no other than one of my grandmother’s neighbor. I then walked up to her and greeted her politely.  
“Ah, yes! Hello there.”  
She looked at me curiously and asked,  
“Are you moving in today dear?”  
Nodding I told her,  
“Yes. I didn’t pack a lot for today since the rest of my things are with the movers who will come by tomorrow.”  
Clapping her hands excitedly, she then replied,  
“Marvelous. Take good care of the house your grandmother had left for you. You never know when you’ll be in for a surprise!”  
 _*thump*_  
What does she mean by that?  
“Um... what do you mean?”  
Yet, before I could even ask her curiously in return, she waved goodbye the second an unfamiliar luxury car then pulled over their driveway and honked to get our attention, most especially hers.  
“Well, I want to invite you over for afternoon tea but I have somewhere to go for now! See you later sweetie.”  
“Okay then, take care.”  
I watched her walk back to her driveway and went inside the luxury car. I pray to God she’s not one of those psychotic kind of neighbors. A chuckle then came out of my mouth as I told myself before opening the front door to America,  
“I wonder what she meant I’ll be in for a surprise though? I miss you all of a sudden grandmama.”

I remember my memories of this house. I was only a little girl when I first entered through this whimsical home my grandmother made for herself. Antiques everywhere. Not to mention, a spiral staircase. My summer memories were always so memorable in this place. Yet now...  
 _“Kayla, you’re going to be okay without me anymore my sweet, sweet darling. Just believe in yourself more.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“D-Damn it, I told myself I won’t cry anymore... I just miss you again, grandmama.”  
My parents were always traveling all over the world during summer so they would leave me with my grandmother. I loved every summer with her. Until this summer, the very first one where she wasn’t around anymore.  
 _“Come here Kayla my dear, you can cry on my arms.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Haaa... okay, okay. Stop it tears!”  
As I felt my tears watering at our memories, I just placed down my bag on the sofa and took in the nostalgic scent that I will always love, because even if grandmother isn’t around, every little thing in this house which is my new home now will always remind me of her.

_A little while later..._

Ever since she passed away last spring, the house still remained the same because there was someone cleaning and taking care of the house during the day to whom I still don’t know the identity of. My parents wanted to sell the house but she of course reluctantly refused and passed me the house through her will. For some reason, my parents didn’t contest it. Maybe it was their way of respecting her last wishes?  
“Okay... now to check the bedrooms then.”  
As I tried to tidy up a bit too around the house, I went up the spiral stairs and headed straight for her bedroom.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Even your bedroom still smells like your bare vanilla scented perfume, grandmama.”  
Her old books, vinyls, writings, hanging photographs were still in her old study room which was right beside her room.  
“I keep forgetting that my grandmama was a best selling author back during her younger days.”  
I remember memories of her telling me stories, us listening to music on the vinyl player, her telling me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Grandmother was my favorite person. That’s why... even if it felt like I was moving on, it still felt hard to breathe sometimes because the fact will never change now... she’s no longer with me.  
 _“Kayla my dear, I may not have had the fondest memories back during your age, especially when I had to go through a lot of ups and downs. But... it doesn’t mean life isn’t beautiful. Life will always be filled with the biggest lessons, both the best and the worst lessons that will mold you into someone better or worse.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“You always knew what to say, grandmama.”  
I was busy going down memory lane when then all of a sudden,  
“Hmm? What’s this?”  
There was a strange golden key placed right in the middle of her study table. Strange because this was my first time seeing this key and I have all the spare keys to all the rooms here in the house.  
 _*thump*_  
“T-This is...”  
As I held the key in my right hand, my heart couldn’t stop beating so loudly at the engraved letters written on the edge of the key which spelt,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kayla...? W-Why is my name engraved in this key?”

Feeling overwhelmed of it, I then looked around if there was a hidden note or clues or anything that grandmother had left for me to find since she always loved doing mysterious things like these even back when I was little.  
“D-Damn it...!”  
Trying the key on the locked cabinets and drawers around the whole house proved to be useless. Were there clues that I didn’t happen to see? Plopping in exhaustion on the sofa in the living room, I just continued to stare blankly at the gold key in my hand.  
“What are you trying to tell me grandmama?”  
And then it hits me like I was struck by lightning,  
 _“Grandmama... why are all the clocks here in the house red except for the gold one right by the spiral staircase?”  
“Because time waits for no one since it’s so precious, I guess?”  
“Ahh, just like how time is gold then? Something like that?”  
“That’s my smart little girl.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“G-Grandmama...”  
Quickly heading for the stairs, I went up and went straight to the hanging gold clock facing the end of the stairs.  
“I hope I’m right then...”  
Taking a deep breath, I then took a leap of faith and removed the clock from the wall. My eyes couldn’t stop shaking at what I then saw.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-A keyhole...”  
How could I not know there was a hidden keyhole here all these years?  
“Grandmama you really love your share of secrets huh?”  
Inserting the gold key in the key hole, it fitted perfectly inside as I then turned it and was left even more baffled right after.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What the...”  
I was literally feeling a bit panicked when I started hearing creaking sounds coming from the roof, but I just blinked the moment I saw a golden string dangling right beside the hanging chandelier.  
“A gold string...?”  
As I tried pulling on to it, my heartbeat accelerated on cue when the string out of the blue revealed a small hidden door that I had no clue even existed throughout all the years I’ve known this place. Was I stuck in an _Alice in Wonderland_ storyline or what?  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What the heck?!”  
Pulling tighter, a rope ladder then dangled down for me so I could climb up the mysterious hidden door.  
“Dear lord... if I don’t come out alive tomorrow grandmama, I’m so going to give you a real piece of my mind when we see each other in heaven.”  
Trying to pull myself together, I knew there wouldn’t be any use to contemplate whether this was wrong or right because knowing how whimsical my grandmother was, she wanted me to find this. I just know it.  
“Haaa... okay, it’s now or never then Kayla!”  
I reassured myself before I started climbing up the rope ladder heading to somewhere I have no idea where it would lead me to.

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wow...”  
As I reached the end of the short ladder, I could hear the drumming beat of my chest at what I then witnessed with my own eyes.  
“I-I can’t believe you really hid a secret attic like this grandmama, you sneak...”  
It was a small but cozy type of attic. She had always told me that there was no attic whatsoever in this house but yeah... never believe everything your whimsical grandmother says.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I wonder why... I wonder why even if it feels like nobody had come here for years, it still looks so clean... don’t tell me even the one who came to clean the house ever since knew about this too?”  
Shaking my head from more puzzling thoughts after another, I just curiously looked around at the secret attic. It hadn’t been one day since I came back to this house, and I’ve already discovered something I hadn’t even realized as a little girl.  
“You’re really something else grandmama...”  
While I was looking around, I found grandmother’s old diaries and journals from when she was young, like around in high school and even when she went to college.  
“Uwah, even her diaries were really taken well care of... it reminds me of the diary from the princess diaries movie.”  
While I was skimming through her old journals, I had then noticed there was only **ONE** thing that was getting a lot of dust in this mystery attic.  
“Hmm... what’s this?”  
Dusting off the dust that collectively gathered in this one thing in my hands now, my eyes turned so wide open at the old, red, hard bound book that read on the cover with gold colored text,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ _ **Folklore: the stories untold?”**_  
 _“Grandmama, why do you love writing so much?”  
“Because it takes you to all kinds of places and let’s you discover different people, whether real or fiction, my dear.”_  
Usually if it was a book written by my grandmother, there would be her name engraved right by the bottom center on the cover but... the one in my hands at the moment didn’t have it.  
“Don’t tell me... this isn’t one of grandma’s books?”  
Yet, as I opened to the very first page of the book, my heart started beating restlessly finding a little note with a very familiar penmanship written on the middle of the page that said,  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“You finally found it at last my gift for you, my dear Kayla.”_  
“G-Grandmama...”  
Stroking the parts where her penmanship was, my eyes couldn’t help but tear up a little at how even if it was obvious that grandmother wasn’t around, it really still felt like she was around me right now, embracing me right this very second.  
“You really know how to keep me staying on my toes even now, grandmama.”  
As I turned to the next page, my heart’s beating just doubled at the next words that then read,  
“T-The **_seven_** untold stories?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What does this mean grandmama?”  
In the next page was a short message. A short message for me.

> _My dear Kayla,_
> 
> _When I told you that I’ll be passing onto you one last important thing from me, this book was it. It might have gotten dusty already by the time you found this.  
>  This book is about what life is and could be.  
> The good and bad things in life.  
> The best and worst things in life.  
> The ups and downs in life.  
> The what if’s in life.  
> I hope it opens up your eyes, your mind, and your heart to a lot of different things because I don’t want to let you grow up in the narrative of this messed up world that, when you are young, they assume you know nothing. Just like it did to me._
> 
> _You are everything to me, my dear one._
> 
> _I’m passing onto you the stories that I went through my own eyes and even through the eyes of other people you may or may not know of.  
>  Everyone deserves a happy ending, but happy endings only exist in movies and books.  
> But I hope for you my dear, it will end up so much better than mine._
> 
> _It will be happy and once you find it, don’t you ever let it go._
> 
> _I love you my one and only precious granddaughter.  
>  You will be alright from now on.  
> Believe in that.  
> — your grandmama who’s right beside you, forever and always._

_*thump* *thump*_  
“G-Grandmama...”  
Before I knew it, tears started dripping onto the book’s pages. Wiping them quickly, it felt like my heart was being squeezed with an indescribable feeling.  
“J-Jeez, when did you even have time to write this and hide it from me after all this time...?”  
Remembering her warm and cozy smile inside my head, I just turned to the next page as I let the rest of my tears stream down my cheeks before reading the next thing written.  
“O-Okay... I’m going for chapter 1 then grandmama,”

And that was only the very beginning of the _last great fateful dynasty_ that I was about to witness with my very own eyes.

***  
 _ **Page 1: august (a Kim Namjoon story)**_

> _Kayla, my dear.  
>  The first story is about what real love felt like and what real heartbreak felt like all wrapped up together starting in just a simple summer season._
> 
> _What happiness and sadness meant to me._
> 
> _This story on the first part is through my eyes and how I had met the one man who would have been the “grandfather” through your eyes._
> 
> _You’ll know the rest of the story as you read along it, my dear. I know you won’t skip even one word, right?_

_*thump* *thump*_  
“I-It couldn’t be... grandmama...”  
I have always wondered the real story behind my grandparents’ story. Growing up, I was curious about who grandfather was but I would just remember the same line my grandmother would tell me every time if I asked her about him,  
 _“You’ll know about him when you grow up in due time, my dear. I promise you that.”_  
And now, the beating of my heart just grew louder at the very thought,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Would have been the grandfather through my eyes huh?”  
Gulping nervously, I couldn’t stop my curiosity from growing more and more as I then turned to the next page.

The page where the story of my grandmother named _Keira_ and my grandfather named _Kim Namjoon_ started.

_**(Part 1 — Keira’s POV)** _

_Summer of 1974:  
London, England, United Kingdom_

_“Keira, the moment you step out of that door, you’re not our daughter anymore. Understand?”_  
I still could remember the haunting echoes of my father’s voice even after 5 years since I left that house to pursue my dreams.  
“Haaaa... it still feels surreal. But to think it’s been 5 years already huh?”  
I don’t even know why I was thinking about that when I walked into my favorite small flower shop along _Oxford Street_.

 _BGM: Sharala (CLC)_  
“See you next time Keira dear!”  
Waving happily to the kind auntie who owns the flower shop after buying the bouquet I wanted, I looked in awe at the beautiful, colorful, bouquet of _Gerbera daisies_ in my hands.  
“I’m sure she’s going to love these flowers.”  
Smiling while I smelled the fragrant scent of the flowers, I was too distracted in my own thoughts walking along Oxford Street that I flinched when out of the blue, a _corgi dog_ then came out of nowhere and passed by in front of me.  
 _*thump*_  
“Hmm?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the cute dog who just wagged it’s friendly tail at me before it then quickly made its escape and then,  
“W-Watch out!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
The bouquet in my hands then went flying as my eyes could only turn wide and shake in fear.

 _*crashing sounds*_  
And yes, before I knew it, I found myself landing straight on my bottom with the bouquet now also ruined on the cold hard ground. Slightly massaging my lower back and bottom of the hard landing I just went through in the matter of seconds, my face turned into a pissed expression as I then said,  
“Jeez! Monsieur! regardez où vous allez!”  
 _(Jeez! Sir! Watch where you’re going!)_  
I didn’t take notice that I unknowingly yelled at the man who hit me with his bike just now in French.  
“Um, I don’t understand... but I’m sorry. Are you okay?”  
His deep voice then echoed inside my hearing next as an unfamiliar hand then reached out to help me up. I then looked up at the owner of the man’s hand and silhouette standing in front of me.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Such deep brown eyes complementing his dark brown hair...”_  
“Miss? Are you okay?”  
As his voice snapped me out of my sudden daze, I just shook my head and had no choice but to accept his helping hand.  
“M-Merci.”  
“I’ll take that as a thank you then?”  
After he helped me up get back up on my own two feet, he then picked up my lampshade hat that flew off my head when I fell down just now and handed it over to me politely.  
“I believe this belongs to you as well.”  
“Ah, merci Monsieur.”  
Dusting off my knee length satin brown skirt and my white 3/4 cotton blouse, he then offered his blue handkerchief to me saying,  
“Here, use this. It’s the least I can do. Did you get any scratches on your knees or legs? Or even your elbows?”  
For a man that accidentally knocked over his bike right at me, the sincere worried tone coming from his mouth made my bad mood vanish little by little as he tried to scan me without acting like an impolite gentleman.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Ne t'inquiète pas c'est ok. Don’t worry, it’s okay. I’m fine Monsieur.”  
His brown eyes then stared straight at me for a few seconds in silence before he then reached for something in his plaid brown and black cropped pants saying,  
“Take this then too, just in case.”  
My eyes could only blink when the mystery man with the brown eyes then handed over a blue bandaid to me while a smile then formed on his lips and made the dimples then pop on his cheeks.  
 _“A man with dimples on both cheeks? Hmm... that’s rare to see... not to mention, his accent... and how he’s dressed in that clean, white, short sleeved polo of his which was hugging his finely toned muscles and with a few buttons in the chest left unopened...”_  
It was obvious that the man with the brown eyes standing in front of me wasn’t born from here, but he sure can make himself look like he was from around here.  
“Ah, merci Monsieur.”  
“It seems like _‘thank you’_ is the only thing you’ve been telling me for a while now, Miss.”  
Even though his English accent was really good, why did he have to sound so obnoxious just now with his tone?  
“Not to be rude Monsieur but, it’s not my fault you don’t know French.”  
“Oh? So you can properly speak English after all.”  
Clenching on to the blue bandaid in my hand, my eyebrows then arched up in slight annoyance.  
“And what is that supposed to mean? Are you forgetting you’re the one who bumped into me with your bike just now and almost hurt me?”  
“I know and I apologized already. But it seems you’re not hurt anywhere, so I guess everything is fine right?”  
Are you kidding me? And here I thought this man with the brown eyes and the dimples was a gentleman?! I could now feel my blood boiling at where this conversation was going.  
“No? Not everything’s fine Monsieur, did you also forget that you just ruined the bouquet I was holding? Look.”  
I then pointed to him the outcome of the crushed flowers on the ground.  
“Look Miss, I said I’m sorry already for bumping into you with my bike but if it weren’t for that dog that made me miss my turn on the street by appearing out of nowhere, none of this would’ve happened in the first place.”  
As I was about to sigh, I then looked at my watch as my eyes then turned wide at the realization of the time that had already passed by.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“No...! No...! No...! I’m going to be late!”_  
“Ah! merde! je vais être en retard!”  
 _(Ah! Shit! I’m going to be late!)_  
“W-What?”  
Quickly fixing up my hair and clothes, I just said to the mystery man with the brown eyes and dimples before running off for the other direction,  
“Je suis désolé Monsieur! I’m sorry but I need to go now! Au revoir...!”  
“W-Wait...! M-Miss...! B-But what about the flowers?”  
As we were now standing a bit far from each other on Oxford Street, I just told him lastly with a sarcastic tone as I then went on my way,  
“You owe me flowers next time then, Monsieur!”

_A week later...  
The Ritz Hotel  
London, England, United Kingdom_

“It’s good to see you again, Miss Keira.”  
“Congrats on your debut novel again Miss Keira!”  
“It’s a pleasure to be here and thank you.”  
I now found myself attending a fanciful party being hosted by one of the biggest publishing houses here in London. The same publishing house that got my first fiction novel in stores after all the hard work I put into the five years I’ve worked under them ever since moving here from Paris.  
“The _Ritz Hotel_ is really beautiful and posh here in London. I’ve been to the one in Paris of course but I can see why it’s still a 5 star hotel even here.”  
“Yes, Madame is also good friends with the owner of the hotel.”  
“Oh? Do tell, what’s the difference from the Paris one to the one here in London then?”  
While some colleagues of mine were telling me more interesting stories about the hotel’s history,  
“Ah, excuse me, I need to go to the ladies room.”  
I excused myself from them for now since I needed some time alone and time to get some air after being in a whole ball room filled with people and unknown faces.

 _BGM: Butterflies (Red Velvet)_  
The summer night sky and summer stars in London was just as beautiful as you’ll see in Paris. I was now standing by myself on the empty restaurant terrace. Taking in the summer air, I took a deep breath in and out telling myself,  
“Haaaa... good thing I had decided to wear a sleeveless pink cocktail dress and only my short, satin, white gloves and white heels for this weather.”  
As a comforting breeze then passed by right that same second, I wasn’t then prepared of the footsteps and the silhouette that then would come at the next moment.  
“Who knew there was this kind of night scape view from this terrace?”  
That person’s voice echoed through the night’s silence.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“T-That deep voice...”_  
As soon as our eyes found each other’s gazes, both gray and brown, I had to catch an instant breath as I then recognized the owner of the deep voice before he said in continuation,  
“And who knew we would see each other again right here, right now Miss flowers?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
It was no other than him.  
The same man with those enigmatic brown eyes and dimples.  
The same man who bumped his bike into me a week ago.  
The memory was enough to make me a bit annoyed but I had to keep up my cordial smile as I just said to him in return,  
“And who knew you would find me here of all places too, wouldn’t you think Monsieur flower destroyer?”  
The two of us just continued to stare at each other in eerie silence underneath the witness of the summer sky by the hotel’s empty restaurant terrace.

 _“But what is he doing here? Don’t tell me he’s one of the hotel guests?”_  
I thought to myself while staring at him from head to toe again. He was dressed in a formally sleek gray suit paired with a dark blue tie and those black framed glasses. Damn, it’s the first time in all of my years here in London to see such a beautiful man. God is indeed unfair.  
“Are you done staring a hole into me then, Miss?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-I wasn’t staring! Don’t say such absurd things as you please, Monsieur!”  
He just chuckled at my reaction which made the dimples on his face appear again. Ugh. I need to get a grip on myself, I feel like a teenager going through hormonal imbalances.  
“If you say so then, but I’m going to be honest with you.”  
“Honest with me?”  
Not averting his brown eyes from my gray ones, he then took a few steps closer to where I was standing and said with a slightly provoking grin,  
“You look stunning, mademoiselle.”  
 _*thump*_  
Trying to keep my heartbeat unscathed from that sudden compliment out of nowhere, I just told myself before telling him,  
 _“Well, if he wants to play, two can play this game.”_  
“Heh, who knew you were such a sweet talker Monsieur dimples?”  
I countered back while gathering enough of my courage and tried to playfully poke one side of his dimples.  
“First I was Monsieur flower destroyer, now I’m Monsieur dimples? You’re really one odd woman... something you’d expect from a first time best selling author.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What he then said had completely caught me off guard that I could only look at him in disbelief.  
“H-How do you...?”  
He just let out a soft laugh before staring at the night sky telling me,  
“Well, wouldn’t you like to know mademoiselle?”  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Even his side profile is illegal in this light.”_  
The only thing I could tell him next in all curiosity was,  
“Yes, I very much would like to know Monsieur.”  
Our gazes then locked into each other’s on cue once again. My _gray eyes_ were clearly reflected in his _deep brown_ ones.  
“Your gray eyes are really looking so straightforwardly honest at me, don’t you think mademoiselle?”  
“While your brown eyes are giving me more questions instead of answers, Monsieur.”  
I hadn’t realized that the distance between us was diminishing quickly that as he was about to reach out to touch my face, we both froze the second a voice then came into the scene yelling,  
“Mademoiselle Keira...! Madame is about to make an announcement, you should get b—-?”  
“...”  
“...”  
My colleague just stared suspiciously at me and the man standing beside me as the latter then immediately withdrew his hand which was almost touching my face just now and distanced himself away from me.  
“Hmm, I hope I didn’t interrupt something just now?”  
Almost feeling myself flush of where the strange conversation was going, I just snuck one last glance at the man beside me and whispered,  
“Looks like I need to excuse myself again Monsieur,”  
He just nodded and whispered back,  
“I understand mademoiselle, go. Don’t want your companion to have any weird ideas, wouldn’t you?”  
That last teasing question made my chest perturb like a fool as I then walked to where my colleague was, leaving him alone by the restaurant’s terrace.

“Miss Keira, who was that dashing young lad? Is he an acquaintance of yours?”  
Now that she had asked, even if this was the second time I had met that man with the dimples and brown eyes, I still don’t even know his name. But... for some reason, I didn’t mind not knowing at all.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“That’s something I would like to know too.”

As we returned to the ballroom, Madame was already at the podium getting ready to announce something. This was going to be something important since she always tends to drop big news during these kind of events.  
“I wonder what Madame is going to announce tonight?”  
“Who knows? Nobody can ever predict what’s going on inside her head even now.”  
Turning on her microphone, she then without hesitation started her announcement speech.  
“What a lovely evening, isn’t it everyone? Now then, as we continue the celebration tonight, I would like to make a very important announcement.”  
Very important announcement then huh? Madame really knows when to shoot things like this at the perfect time, really.  
“As you all had known, our publishing house had been dealing with some very arduous issues lately and since the legal team are in need of new talented individuals, please give a warm round of applause for our newly hired legal team members.”  
And right then and there, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking and the echoes of my heartbeat started ringing inside my ears the minute I saw a very familiar silhouette dressed in that dashing gray suit standing among the _seven_ new lawyers lining up together.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“D-Don’t tell me he’s...?!”_  
“Miss Keira... isn’t that man...?”  
I couldn’t even hear the whisper of my colleague from beside me as I just continued to stare at the man with those brown eyes standing so composed even with all the stares focusing on them throughout the whole ballroom.  
“Good evening everyone, my name is Namjoon Kim. It’s a real honor to work under Madame and with all of you starting from today.”  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“N-Namjoon? So that’s his name then?”_  
For some reason, my chest started feeling all tingly after finding out his name like this. And not in a good way. It felt anticlimactic. Why? Why do I feel a bit disappointed?  
“...”  
While I was busy contemplating inside my head, his brown gaze then found mine instantly amongst all of the unknown faces inside the ballroom right now.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Monsieur...”_  
He just flashed me a small smile that poked out his dimples. I could feel the swirl of butterflies on my stomach next. My colleague then whispered to me,  
“Miss Keira, was it just my imagination or did that handsome lawyer lad you were with at the terrace just smile for you right now?”  
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her question as I just told her in all honesty in my part,  
“Yes, you’re definitely just imagining it.”

 _A little while later..._  
“Hmm, I guess more strawberry champagne won’t hurt.”  
As I went to grab more champagne from the beverage’s station, a deep voice then echoed my hearing right on cue.  
“Should I call you mademoiselle strawberry now instead?”  
I blinked in surprise of the tall figure that then appeared in front of my sight once again. Yet, I couldn’t let him see me getting nervous over his presence.  
 _*thump*  
“Get a grip on yourself, Keira.”_  
“And should I start calling you Monsieur lawyer from now on too?”  
“You don’t seem to run out of witty remarks from that pretty little smart mouth of yours, huh?”  
Taking a glass of champagne too, he just looked at me with an engrossing grin written all over his face.  
“I’ll take that as a compliment from someone like you, Monsieur lawyer.”  
“I take it the two of you had already met then.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
The two of us could only gulp nervously when out of the blue, Madame herself then approached us with an amused smile.  
“M-Madame.”  
“Madame.”  
Also grabbing one of the filled up champagne glasses, she glanced at the two of us before saying,  
“Keira darling, I see you’ve met Namjoon here already. Good job darling, picking the best man out of the seven men from the new bunch.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I felt all the blood go straight to my cheeks next at what our big boss had just said. I hope she’s not drunk. Please.  
“M-Madame... please... it isn’t like that at all...!”  
The man with the dimples just chuckled at my reaction as he just said,  
“She’s right, Madame. It isn’t like that at all. We were just getting acquainted at the moment.”  
Madame then scoffed off his answer as she drank the champagne from the glass in one straight motion saying,  
“Oh please, you might be a lawyer Namjoon darling, but I’m far more of an expert in these line of things than you. Don’t you dare hurt my little Keira, she’s my new star author darling.”  
Uh oh. It was clear she was drunk talking again. Why does this have to happen at every single time she hosts a big party?  
“Well, I’ll take note of that then Madame. Don’t worry.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Madame please...”  
Before we both knew it, her assistants then apologized to the two of us before they tended to her as she continued to drink along even with them trying to stop her but it was proving to be futile.  
“Hmm, that sure was interesting. Wasn’t it?”  
“Don’t even start, Monsieur.”  
Yet, no matter how awkward the situation was just now, the two of us just fell to a hearty laugh together.

 _BGM: dance with me — beabadoobee_  
A few minutes later, the music in the whole ballroom then turned soft and slow with the party guests then going to the center to slow dance.  
“Well, I guess there is no proper time to introduce each other than now. Right, mademoiselle?”  
“No time like the present as they all say, Monsieur.”  
We glanced at each other while we watch the ballroom hall turn into a whole room filled with people dancing with their pairs.  
“Hello, my name is Namjoon Kim, mademoiselle.”  
“Bonjour, my name is Keira, Monsieur.”  
Before I then knew it, he extended out his right hand to me politely and said,  
“Will you do me the honor of being my first dance tonight, mademoiselle?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I just looked at him dumbfounded of what I heard, yet judging from the serious glimmer taking over his deep brown eyes, I then accepted his right hand with my left one saying,  
“You may do so, Monsieur.”

The man named Namjoon then led me straight to the center of the ballroom as we gave each other a polite bow and curtsy before he held my left hand tightly with his right one while his other free arm then gently wrapped around my waist as he then took the lead between our feet.  
“Hmm, you’re not so bad Monsieur.”  
“Well, thank you. Can’t let the two of us lose face among all these people, right?”  
I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a soft giggle at his always witty answer.  
“No wonder you’re a lawyer, Monsieur. You’re pretty good with words.”  
“And you’re pretty good with words yourself too, mademoiselle. As you would expect from a writer. Of course, you’re a pretty good dancer too.”  
The two of us just continued to follow along to the pace of the slow music as we didn’t avert eye contact from each other for a while now.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Why... why is he slowly creeping inside of my heart... I’ve been used to the idea of writing about things like this from other people’s perspective but never from mine...”_  
“Penny for your thoughts, mademoiselle?”  
His voice then snapped me back from my dazed thoughts.  
“No, it’s just... in all of my years living here in London, this is the first time I’m dancing with a handsome stranger at a party.”  
“Well, I’m honored then. But, don’t you think we’ve passed through the stranger phase already? And did you really just call me handsome now too?”  
He flashed me a charming smile with those dimples of his that made my composure almost crumble to dust.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re really going to use your dimples to your advantage, Monsieur dimples?”  
“When you keep looking at me with those beaming gray eyes of yours, how can I not? Mademoiselle flowers.”  
Namjoon’s deep brown eyes, shining even through his black framed spectacles, kept staring at me like he was trying to stare right down to the very depths of my soul.  
“Is this how you’re making women weak in the knees then Monsieur?”  
He just answered back with a pleased grin,  
“Well, is it working for you though?”  
 _*thump*  
“Such a smooth talker, this man is...”_  
As our feet continued to sway along to the slow melody of the music, I just returned his grin with one of my own saying,  
“Well, wouldn’t you like to know then too?”

Right after the slow dance, he was then taken away by his fellow new lawyers. However, before we then separated, he made my chest perturb the second he planted a kiss on the back of my left hand telling me,  
“Thank you for the first dance then, mademoiselle flowers.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Watching his broad back being illuminated by the chandelier lights, I still could feel the warmth of his lips on my hand even if I was wearing a glove. Not to mention, the scent of his clean, rosewood cologne still lingered around me as I made my way back to my table.  
 _“That man really...”_

“Miss Keira, so? How was it like dancing with the handsome lawyer huh?”  
“Please do tell!”  
Two of my colleagues then curiously asked me as soon as I found my seat again. Trying to tease them, I just said,  
“Hmm... he’s a good dancer?”  
“J-Jeez!”  
“Stop treating us like fools, Miss Keira! Did you even notice the way he was looking at you?!”  
The way he was looking at me?  
“What do you mean the way he was looking at me?”  
The two of them then exchanged sighs before pointing out,  
“Are you kidding us Miss Keira? He was the obvious eye candy for the other ladies all over the ballroom, but he didn’t take his eyes off of you even once.”  
“And... the two of you slow dancing made me squeal like a little teenage girl. You two were literally picture perfect with each other. I heard that he literally took this job instead of working for the biggest law firm here in London.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Feeling embarrassed of their sentences, I just shook my hands and told them trying to avoid blushing at all costs,  
“J-Jeez...! You both aren’t helping at all...! There’s nothing between us...!”  
They both giggled teasingly and said on cue together,  
“Not.”  
“Yet.”  
As I was about to give them a piece of my mind, the three of us froze on cue when,  
“Excuse me, is this seat taken ladies?”  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“T-This voice?”_  
And the second my two colleagues squealed at the tall, dark, and handsome silhouette that then took his seat right beside me, I felt all kinds of weird jitters then flood throughout my whole body.  
“Eep! N-No! No!”  
“P-Please do! We don’t mind at all! And of course, Miss Keira doesn’t mind too!”  
“S-Stop that...! When did I say things like that huh?”  
As soon as he found access to my gray gaze, he just gave me a small smile as he pushed back his spectacles saying to my colleagues,  
“If it’s okay with the two of you, may I borrow your Miss Keira for the rest of the night?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What did he just say?!  
“W-Wait...!”  
“Yes, it’ll be our pleasure!”  
“Take all the time you need together, don’t mind us!”  
Before I knew it, the two of them excused themselves hurriedly and scurried off in between their playful waves and giggles while sneaking more glances at us as they left me all alone with him on the table.  
 _“D-Damn it... they are so going to pay next time...!”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur dimples... I... I didn’t expect to see you again so soon...? Weren’t you with your lawyer friends just now?”  
Namjoon just continued to stare at me silently as if he was observing every little detail I was doing that it made my heart beat irrationally.  
“U-Um... you’re really making me nervous if you just keep on staring at me like that you know...”  
“Is that so? Maybe I do have a habit of observing people because of me dealing with clients before and all, but... for some reason, staring at your gray eyes and slightly flushed up cheeks stir something in me.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur... that’s cheating...”  
Trying my hardest not to blush even more at his words, his eyebrows then arched up as he asked curiously,  
“Hmm? In what way? I’m just stating facts about you, mademoiselle.”  
“T-There! You don’t easily say smooth things like that to someone you just met. Y-You’re going to give me wrong ideas.”  
Massaging his chin for a quick few seconds, he then looked directly into my eyes and said so straightforwardly,  
“What if you’re someone I want to say such smooth things then, mademoiselle Keira?”  
“M-Monsieur...”  
I could hear my heart’s beating ring inside my ears as he said that to me and the way he says my name sounded so natural rolling off his lips, I was literally speechless. As my mind went completely blank, he just let out a hearty chuckle that made his dimples pop out again before gently taking my right hand asking,  
“I know I’m being too forward now, which is very unlikely of me, but... will you let me escort you home?”  
As he had asked me that, I don’t know why... I had no reason why to refuse him outright because judging from the sincerity from his deep brown eyes, there was no hint of a lie I could trace.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“O-Of course, I don’t mind that Monsieur.”

 _BGM: Line (Kim Areum)_  
We were walking along the empty streets of London under the early summer sky in June since it was already way past midnight when we had decided to leave the party. Our footsteps were the only sounds echoing paired with the passing summer breezes.  
 _*thump*  
“Who would’ve thought that I’d be walking home with the most unlikely man possible... the very man that I didn’t expect to see ever since the day he bumped his bike into me more than a week ago...”_  
“I don’t mind you staring at me so eagerly mademoiselle, but if you want to ask me anything, my ears are open for business. Always.”  
Even the way he constructs his sentences and witty retorts, no words really were enough in my vocabulary to describe him.  
“Hmm... to be real honest, I have a lot of questions but none are coming to light right now. Weird, right?”  
Namjoon just chuckled again at my answer saying,  
“Well, I guess the feeling is indeed mutual then.”  
“Hmm? What do you mean?”  
The two of us then paused from walking the second we stopped at under a street light together as he faced me and said,  
“Every time I want to try asking you a question, my mind just completely blacks out when you look at me so inquisitively with those gray eyes of yours, mademoiselle Keira.”  
“Monsieur...”  
I shivered the minute a slightly chilling breeze then passed by us. I was about to grab my hankie inside my small handbag and then,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...?!”  
“Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean the winds won’t get a bit chilly even in the early morning, so wear this for now.”  
Being a gentleman, he then took off his suit’s coat and wrapped it around my shoulders without even asking.  
“M-Merci...”  
Namjoon just gave me another soft smile as we continued walking along. Good thing it was dark out even with the many streetlights because I could feel the obvious heat from my cheeks as I felt the warmth from his coat and his ever clean, rosewood scent strangely calming me down.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Haaa... this is really getting bad for my heart...”_

“How long have you been working for Madame then, mademoiselle?”  
The two of us started to engage in small talk just to break the clumsy silence between us.  
“Hmm... 5 years already Monsieur. I finally managed to release my first novel under my own name just this spring.”  
“I see. Even the other lawyers were talking about your book, mademoiselle. They say you are the star author of the publishing house and in Madame’s eyes right now.”  
I couldn’t help but giggle at his last sentence.  
“Madame never stopped pushing me to reach for my goal. That’s why even though she may come off haughty or pompous, she cares a lot, she really does.”  
“She does have that kind of air about her.”  
Feeling my curiosity also peeking in, I then asked him,  
“How about you Monsieur? What made you decide to come to work for Madame? A birdie told me that you were supposed to work for the biggest law firm here in London?”  
He just chuckled at my question and answered instantly,  
“Because Madame as well had helped me a lot before back then. But, let’s save that story for another time.”  
Hmm? Did I hear that right?  
“Another time?”  
I asked as I blinked at him. However, right when he was about to say something back,  
“?!”  
“...?”  
Drizzles of rain started pouring down that the two of us had to make a run for it.  
“M-Monsieur...!”  
“Come, take my hand...!”  
Still startled of the sudden rain, I just accepted Namjoon’s left hand with my right one as we ran together on the rainy street to find shelter.

It was the first time I ran in the rain without an umbrella and in heels... and it was the first time I ran in the rain with someone. Someone unforeseen just like the rain right now...

The two of us found ourselves at a near bus stop. Even if we were dripping wet from head to toe, the only thing that continued echoing with the silence between us was the pitter-patters of the rain.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“...”  
Not to mention, the very thought that his hand was still tightly holding on to mine in the silence, was making my chest feel all ticklish and nervous.  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“What’s wrong, mademoiselle?”  
When his brown eyes caught my gray ones in perfect timing, I just pointed out to him while trying my hardest not to blush,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“U-Um, you’re still holding on to my hand Monsieur... it’s okay, you can let go now.”  
Yet as I was expecting him to let go, my eyes then started shaking when I felt Namjoon’s tighter grip on my hand he was holding on to. His deep voice then mixed with the sounds of the rain saying,  
“What if I don’t want to let go of this hand, mademoiselle Keira?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur Namjoon...”  
With the rain continuing to be our witness underneath the early morning summer sky, with both of gray and brown eyes gazing at each other, with the beats of our hearts echoing together, Namjoon then didn’t hesitate to close the distance between us and asked me,  
“Will you **meet me behind the mall** , tomorrow mademoiselle Keira? Will you let me see you again?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur dimples...”  
 _“Will you let me see you again?”_  
As I could see my clear reflection in his deep brown eyes, I just returned the grip of his hand on mine and wiped the raindrops dripping from his hair towards his face and cheeks saying with a smile,  
“I would be a fool if I said no to you, Monsieur.”  
I don’t know where that simple _‘yes’_ was going to head that time, but... maybe just maybe, a story was unfolding right before my very eyes.

A new beginning during a rainy, early summer morning in London of 1974.

_The next day:  
Bull Ring Shopping Centre, Birmingham, UK, England_

_“Meet me at this place, okay? I’ll wait for you mademoiselle, no matter what.”_  
I still could hear the echo of his deep voice inside my head as I approached the address he had written for me last night by the bus stop.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I hope I didn’t drive 2 hours just to get stood up by a handsome man...”  
I told myself before I took a deep breath and continued walking.

The address led me to a small, cozy, and fragrant cafe behind the biggest mall here in Birmingham. It felt like I stepped into a small new world, a whole different ambiance from what I’m used to seeing.  
 _“Who knew a small but snug cafe existed in a place like this?”_  
And right then and there,  
“Well good morning mademoiselle, you’re finally here.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
As soon as my eyes caught sight of where the voice was coming from, his whole face just turned to a smile with a little glimmer coming from behind his deep brown eyes that it made my heart perturb on cue.  
“Good morning to you too, Monsieur dimples.”  
Standing up from the chair he was sitting on, he then approached me and gently took my handbag from my right hand while he passingly kissed the back of my hand just like the night before.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur,”  
“Thank god you’re here, I really was thinking you wanted to stand me up mademoiselle.”  
I almost flushed at his words. But I also couldn’t help but let out a giggle telling him,  
“And here I thought, you would be the one to stand me up though.”  
He just told me with a smile and his ever beautiful dimples coming forth before leading me to where he was sitting just now and pulled back the chair for me,  
“I would never stand you up, mademoiselle Keira. I give you my word from this point on.”  
 _“I give you my word...”_  
And that thought alone was enough to make my heart melt in the morning.

 _BGM: Fairy Tale (LOONA 1/3)_  
While we were having morning tea and pastries together, I couldn’t help but feel perceptive at how he hasn’t stopped observing me for a while now in silence.  
“Monsieur, your staring is really making me feel like you’re examining me as if I’m a client of yours.”  
Namjoon just chuckled at my reaction saying,  
“Oh, I’m sorry if I made you feel like that mademoiselle. It’s just... hmmm... how should I put this?”  
“What do you mean?”  
I asked him curiously as I put down my cup of tea. I almost flinched when he then stared at me so seriously again while leaning his face on the table with his chin resting on his two hands. He then said without hesitating anymore,  
“You look very stunning, mademoiselle. Very, very beautiful.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“And I never lie about things I want to say. You’re the first woman I have trouble constructing my words properly to, mademoiselle Keira. And words are my forte per se.”  
I don’t know if my cheeks were turning to the same color as my red sleeveless Sunday dress, but I just followed Namjoon and also leaned both of my hands on the table with my chin resting on it. We were now staring eye to eye at each other.  
“Well, someone is very coquettish in the morning. You’re really an honest man, aren’t you Monsieur dimples?”  
His brown eyes then somehow looked amused at my question as he replied,  
“You want being honest then huh mademoiselle? Hmm... okay then. I can’t stop staring at you from the very second you entered the cafe in that beautiful little red dress you’re wearing right now, and with the small flowers flooding around it, it doesn’t help that it’s sleeveless and compliments your rosy skin tone very much,”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...!”  
“And the way you have your pretty hair tied in a messy bun with a small red ribbon holding it together. As well as the red stiletto open heels you’re wearing too. Even your cheeks now are slowly turning to the same color as your dress, it’s making me restless at this very moment.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“J-Jeez... you didn’t have to elaborate it so specifically like that Monsieur... you’re now making me feel more flustered...”  
The way Namjoon described my clothes so naturally while he was looking straight at me made my chest’s pounding grow even more loud than it already was.  
“I’m just stating facts mademoiselle. I’m also stopping myself from going closer just so I can hold both of your hands with mine.”  
“And who told you to dress up so handsomely too with that printed white collared 3/4 polo of yours then? Not to mention, you have some of the buttons left opened near your chest and you’re wearing a black tie with it and those dark blue denim jeans of yours huh? Plus those Oxford shoes, you’re making every woman who’s going to see you on the street swoon...”  
Flashing me a cute grin, the two of us stopped leaning on the table as our hands found themselves back on the table before he unknowingly held my right hand with his right one saying,  
“There’s only one woman I want to swoon over me though, mademoiselle.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
How is he so smooth? My heart feels like it’s about to somersault all over again for the hundredth time.  
“How smooth of you, Monsieur dimples. Is this even a date for you then? If I may ask.”  
Namjoon just chuckled before he then gently lets go of my hand and stood up from his seat and approached the cafe’s cashier counter to grab something.  
“Will this answer your question, mademoiselle?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur, these are...”  
I couldn’t believe my eyes at what he then reached out to give to me at that second.  
“Weren’t you the one who told me the next time we saw each other again, I owed you flowers right?”  
The bouquet of flowers were the same flowers that I brought back then... back that very day he bumped his bike into me. The same colorful _Gerbera daisies_ , but right in the middle was a red colored one.  
“You really picked the same flowers huh?”  
“I did some research of course and apparently, the _Gerbera daisies_ are also one of the most recommended flowers to bring to a first date. And yes, the red one in the middle is for a special occasion.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Did I hear his last two sentences right just now?  
“M-Monsieur, did you just say?”  
Namjoon just cupped my hands that were now holding on to the bouquet tightly and said so handsomely behind those brown eyes of his,  
“Yes, mademoiselle. This is a date. This is me asking you to go on a date with me today. Will you let me then?”  
I’ve lost countless times how my words just vanished because of one man, but right here, right now, he made me feel like I was in a fairytale. A very unforeseen fairytale.  
“It feels like I can never say _‘no’_ to you, Monsieur dimples. So, yes. Yes, you may. It would be an honor to go on a date with you.”

 _A little while later..._  
“Do you have anywhere you want to go then, mademoiselle?”  
“Hmm? No, not really. As long as we can walk along and talk comfortably like this, anywhere is fine with me Monsieur.”  
We were walking along together on the serene streets of Birmingham after we finished up at the cozy cafe. Namjoon then glanced at me with a smile saying,  
“As you wish then mademoiselle. But, may I ask for a request though?”  
Returning his glance, I asked him with a smile,  
“A request? What request then, Monsieur?”  
“This.”  
Before I could even react, he reached out his left hand and delicately held onto my right hand.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Monsieur?”  
“This is my simple request, mademoiselle. Is it okay? Is it too forward of me?”  
When he’s looking so convincingly at me, how could I simply refuse? With a tiny sigh, I just nodded with a chuckle.  
“If it’s you Monsieur, it’s allowed.”  
“I’m honored then.”  
The two of us continued on our way. Yet this time, we were standing closer to one another with our hands slowly being friendly with each other, just like the two of us.

_Half an hour later:  
Kings Heath Park  
Birmingham, England, U.K._

_BGM: Love story (Kim Areum)_  
Namjoon and I found ourselves taking a leisure stroll around one of the most known and most beautiful parks here in Birmingham, the _Kings Heath Park_.  
“I hope you don’t mind taking you to one of my favorite places here, especially this park.”  
“I don’t mind Monsieur. I for one, love taking walks around parks. It just feels relaxing to do so, even back in London.”  
The two of us continued to exchange more stories about each other, our work, our life, anything under the summer sun. When I was tired, he didn’t hesitate to pause and let us rest by the bench under the shade of the many trees surrounding the park and overlooked a gorgeous pond.  
“Monsieur, tell me your story. Why am I getting this strange feeling that you have more stories to tell behind those puzzling brown eyes of yours?”  
Namjoon’s gaze found mine on cue as we just sat beside each other before he then continued to stare at me inquisitively while resting his chin on his palm as his arm also leaned on the bench’s headrest.  
“What would you like to know, mademoiselle?”  
“Everything.”  
He laughed like a little kid at my answer as he pushed back a bit of my hair behind my ear saying,  
“Telling you everything would take us forever, mademoiselle.”  
“Hmm... then, tell me why you wanted to become a lawyer then. I’m curious. And tell me why you wanted to work for Madame instead of working for the biggest law firm in London?”  
Playing with my hair, Namjoon then just told me without hesitation,  
“I became a lawyer because of practicality reasons, mademoiselle. If you should know, it wasn’t my first dream to have this kind of job. But... we can’t always get what we want in life.”  
“Monsieur...”  
“Don’t give me those sad eyes of yours. Just because this wasn’t my dream job before, it doesn’t mean I don’t love my job now. Being a lawyer now not only helps my family, but I get a real sense of relief being able to help other people out... especially those who need it.”  
Namjoon’s sincere honesty was making my heart squeeze tightly. Even if he was standing confidently back in the hotel last night, his sincerity was shining much more in my eyes right now.  
“That’s very noble of you, Monsieur dimples. Hmm... why our company though? What made you decide to go there instead?”  
“It was Madame who had helped my family and I settle down here in the U.K., you may have noticed from my name already mademoiselle, but I’m not originally from Europe. My family and I were from _Seoul, South Korea_.”  
Of course I noticed that there was something different about the man sitting right beside me, but to think he’d be someone from a faraway place and from another continent, my eyes then turned wide as I then asked,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wow... that’s unexpected then Monsieur... how long have you and your family been living in Europe then?”  
He just flashed me another boyish smile before he continued on.  
“We’ve been here for more than 5 years already, mademoiselle. My parents currently live here in Birmingham while I moved to London ever since I became a lawyer. I guess that’s the abridged version of my story.”  
 _“More than 5 years already huh?”  
*thump* *thump*_  
 _“If you walk out of that door Keira, you’re no longer our daughter anymore. Understand?”_  
The minute Namjoon mentioned _‘5 years,’_ I could hear the haunting echoes inside my head right on cue.  
“Mademoiselle? Are you okay? You turned pale just now.”  
Before I knew it, he places his big, warm hand on top of my forehead to check if I was feeling hot because of the summer weather.  
“A-Ah, I’m sorry Monsieur... I’m okay, really... I just remembered something I shouldn’t have in the first place again.”  
“Are you sure? Do you want us to find a less warmer place right now?”  
Seeing the concern in his brown eyes grow, I held onto his hand that was on my forehead just now and shook my head telling him,  
“No, no. I’m okay, Monsieur. Let’s just keep talking... hearing you talk relaxes me. Please.”

 _BGM: Lonely — acoustic ver. (Kim Areum)_  
With a short sigh, Namjoon just gives me a smile and caresses one side of my cheeks as he then said,  
“If hearing me talk relaxes you, hearing your voice makes my chest flutter too mademoiselle. Now, tell me your story. If you feel uncomfortable of sharing, you can tell me as well. I won’t force you to say anything if you don’t want to.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“We have all the time for now to get to know each other, mademoiselle.”  
I don’t know how he does it. I don’t know how this man named Namjoon was making it so easy to be comfortable with him. Even though he may have came off a bit aloof and cheeky when I first met him a week ago, he was completely a different person from my first impression last night and right this very instant in time.  
“Thank you Monsieur... well, where should I start then?”  
“Tell me why you became a writer then, mademoiselle. Tell me why you love writing.”  
Before I knew it, I told him what life was like to me. What my life was before I became a writer. What my life was before I came to London.  
“I fell in love with writing as a little girl. I was also in love with books and reading. It was around kindergarten when I finished my first short story in English. I was in love with words from a young age. And even when I graduated university, my greatest dream was to become a writer and release my own book one day.”  
“Then, how does it feel to release your very first book then mademoiselle? Your dream finally came true at long last, right?”  
I nodded with a heartfelt smile telling him,  
“It feels unbelievable Monsieur. Sometimes, I wake up in the morning while looking back at all the hardships I’ve been through to get here, they all ended up being worthwhile.”  
Namjoon’s eyebrows then arched up as he asked curiously,  
“All the hardships? Is that the reason why you moved from Paris to London then mademoiselle?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I knew he was going to reach to that question one way or another since he was smart and all. Lawyers are really perceptive people aren’t they?  
“Well... about that Monsieur...”  
Namjoon quickly understood where my halfhearted, stuttered responses were going as he then placed his hand on top of my head and told me,  
“Didn’t I tell you mademoiselle, if you find it uncomfortable to talk about some things, I won’t force you remember?”  
“M-Monsieur,”  
“Do you want me to change the topic then?”  
Seeing how much he was respecting my privacy, I felt a bit guilty of not telling him honestly about a gist of my past when he told me of his past without holding back.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Don’t worry Keira... you can do this... you can do this.”_  
Taking a deep breath in and out, I then finally managed to put together my next words and said,  
“Monsieur, since you were so honest with me, I’m going to be honest with you too.”  
“Mademoiselle Keira...”  
And the way he mentions my name so nonchalantly just convinced me even more that I don’t mind trusting the secret of my past to him that I haven’t told anyone else all these years.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I left Paris and moved to London to pursue my dreams of becoming an author, but I didn’t get my family’s support in return. They cut me off 5 years ago, ever since I had stepped out of our house and never turned back.”  
“Mademoiselle...”  
“Keep that a secret for me from now on, okay? You’re the first ever person I’m going to share that to.”  
Before I had noticed it, I then felt a pair of big, but warm arms flood my entire body next. Before I had noticed it, I was now entrapped in Namjoon’s warm embrace underneath the summer sky. His cozy, woody scent felt so close that it made my mind almost close enough to blanking out.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“Thank you for telling me mademoiselle. You’ve worked hard all this time, Keira. You’ve worked real hard.”  
And just by those choice of words coming from one man himself, tears then started forming around the corners of my eyes as I then accepted his first embrace around me tightly with a smile telling him,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you Monsieur dimples...”

After our rather long heart-to-heart talk at the park, Namjoon and I decided to stop by for lunch at a local diner near where we were. Ever since I’ve told him the secret I was keeping to myself all these years, it felt like a weight was taken off of my shoulders. I thought this feeling was only possible in movies and books, but I guess it really can happen too in real life. And because of that, he didn’t let go of my hand once even when we were having lunch together.

It didn’t even matter if I only knew this man for 20 seconds, because at that exact point in time, it felt like I’ve known him for a long 20 years.

 _BGM: Love affair (Kim Areum)_  
 _Around mid-afternoon:  
Birmingham Museum & Art Gallery_  
“This place is too beautiful for words.”  
“You don’t mind museums and galleries then, mademoiselle?”  
Namjoon looked at me curiously again. I just shook my head and said,  
“Don’t worry Monsieur, I’m a big fan of museums and galleries, if you should know again. I’m a writer, remember?”  
“Good to know.”  
We continued roaming around the museum together hand in hand. Namjoon was the kind of guy you wouldn’t expect to be interested in the arts since he’s logically inclined when it comes to his work. But, he didn’t hesitate to teach me about the art pieces he knew and I would share my opinions of them with him.  
“You’re not only smart when it comes to the law, but you’re also smart with art? Should I call you Monsieur art this time around?”  
His dimples then came forth again as he moved his face closer to mine that it caught me by surprise obviously.  
“You can call me whatever nickname you want to, mademoiselle. You’re the only one who’s permitted to do so.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Another smooth line from you huh?”  
“It comes naturally when I’m with you of course.”  
The more time I spent with this man beside me, the more I realized that even in the littlest of moments we were spending together, time was indeed something precious.

“Stand there, mademoiselle.”  
“Um? Okay then? But why?”  
The two of us paused at a beautiful oil painting of a mountaintop that almost resembled the tallest mountain in the world.  
“I’ll be right back. Don’t move an inch.”  
Namjoon then disappeared somewhere I don’t have any idea where to. Shrugging to myself, I just continued to stare in awe at the giant painting in front of my sight.  
“Wow... this is so beautiful... the way the blues and greens are mixing together to create such a masterpiece.”  
And before I knew it,  
 _*shutter sound*_  
“?!”  
As soon as I heard a shutter sound coming from behind me, I could only look at the grinning figure with the dimples from behind the camera.  
“Where did you get that camera monsieur?”  
When I was about to look at the photo that then came out of the camera, he was too quick for me as he didn’t want me looking.  
“Now, this is one beautiful painting indeed. But to think I’d get a photo of you along with it, it’s twice as fascinating already.”  
As I finally managed to snatch the photo from him, my chest’s pounding grew loud once again at what I then saw.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You really took a stolen photo of me looking at the painting huh?”  
“How can I not mademoiselle?”  
He teasingly said to me while taking back the photo from my hands.  
“J-Jeez, this man really and his smooth lines...”

It seems he disappeared just now to borrow a camera from a roaming photographer inside the museum. He even asked the photographer to take a commemorative photo of us for free.  
“Thank you sir.”  
“Thank you monsieur.”  
The kind man just handed over the photo to us and said lastly to us before he went on his way,  
“No, no. I don’t mind it at all. That photo is for free since you two look pretty good together. Wish more couples are like the two of you. Goodbye!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My eyes couldn’t stop shaking at his last sentence just now.  
“W-Wait...! We’re not a couple...!”  
Namjoon just laughed at my reaction while holding on to the photo.  
“You’re hurting my ego right now, mademoiselle.”  
“Jeez, and you didn’t even bother to correct him monsieur...”  
Patting the back of my head, he just gave me his usual smile and handed over the photo to me saying,  
“Hush, it doesn’t matter mademoiselle. Look, isn’t the photo beautiful though?”  
As my gray gaze then stared at the photo of the two of us with the gorgeous giant painting right behind us, my lips couldn’t help but turn to a smile too as I told him,  
“Indeed it is, monsieur. It’s picture perfect as they say.”

After our stopover at the museum, we found ourselves walking around more shops and boutiques we happened to be interested in as we continued strolling together.  
“Oh look monsieur, it looks like they’re selling ice cream over there. Let’s go!”  
“Lead the way then, mademoiselle.”  
With ice cream and more passing conversations, it felt like the two hour drive from London on a summer day was worth it after all since this morning.

 _BGM: Give me the light (uju)_  
Around early evening, Namjoon and I stopped to have dinner at a restaurant that only opens during the night. Not to mention, since they had no space to cater to customers in their small shop space, the round tables for two were set outside with umbrellas and a lit up candlelight. It was indeed perfect on a summer night like this.  
“Mademoiselle, are you okay with this setting?”  
“Of course monsieur...! It feels more romantic, wouldn’t you think?”  
Namjoon sighed in relief saying,  
“Romantic huh? Are you now swooning over me then, mademoiselle?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Ask me that by the end of tonight, monsieur.”  
I joked with him in return before the waiter came to take our order.

“Was today a fun day for you, mademoiselle?”  
Stroking my hands with his long, slender, but warm fingers, Namjoon stared at me seriously once again as he had asked me that.  
“Of course, monsieur. A very fun and memorable summer day. Thanks to you.”  
“I’m happy to hear that then. I don’t know how I would react if you said otherwise, especially since it’s our first date after all.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“Thank you for giving me a chance to take you out today, mademoiselle Keira. I hope this won’t be the last too.”  
The two of us just continued to stare at each other in comfortable silence and while holding each other’s hands.  
“I hope for that too as well, monsieur dimples.”

Time continued to pass by even with all the talks we were having and even after we had finished our meal.

“Are you going back to London now, mademoiselle?”  
After our dinner, Namjoon walked me back to where my car was parked at since I can’t drive back to London if I stay out late. Not to mention, work starts again tomorrow.  
“Yes, I have to. It’ll be a long two hour drive back to London after all. How about you monsieur? Where should I drop you off?”  
Opening the car door for me, he just told me on cue,  
“It won’t be a long two hour drive, mademoiselle. I’ll come back with you to London.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Monsieur... you don’t have to...!”  
Feeling a bit taken aback from his sudden suggestion, Namjoon just patted me at the back of my head again saying,  
“I won’t let you go back to London all alone, mademoiselle. Adding to that, we both have work tomorrow right?”  
As he then walked to the passenger seat’s door, I couldn’t help but let out a laugh at his witty remark on repeat.  
“I keep forgetting how much your smart mouth really likes proving you’re right.”

So, I ended up somehow driving back to London with Namjoon. And here I thought I would have a quiet drive. Yet... I was happy. I was happy when he said he wanted to come back with me. The two hour long drive didn’t turn out to be a sad farewell after all as I had feared.

_Late evening:  
London, England, U.K._

_BGM: Paris in the rain (Lauv)_  
“Where should I drop you off then, monsieur?”  
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”  
As we arrived back at London, he was still being stubborn of where I should drop him off.  
“Jeez monsieur, this is my car, so my rules. Where do you live?”  
Namjoon then replied without hesitating,  
“No. I can walk home by myself but I still have to see to it that I see you go home safely.”  
“You’re not going to budge no matter what I say, are you?”  
“Yes.”  
With a sigh, I just gave up and let out a slight chuckle at our childish banter.  
“Fine. Fine. But don’t blame me if you go to work late tomorrow.”  
I then drove straight to my apartment home here in London.

“Oh, so this is where you live then? A nice neighborhood I should say.”  
“Monsieur, are you sure about walking from here?”  
As soon as we got off the car, I asked him worriedly that question. Namjoon just flashed me his boyish smile while caressing my cheeks with both of his big hands.  
“Don’t give me those worried gray eyes of yours, mademoiselle. I’ll be fine. I’m just glad to see you get home safely.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Monsieur, you really...”  
We could only hear the sounds of crickets echoing along the summer night’s breeze with our heart’s beating.  
“Thank you again for today, mademoiselle Keira.”  
“Thank you too for today, monsieur dimples.”  
Even after we thanked each other for today, we just still stood there, frozen, but not averting our gazes away from each other. As I was about to say something, Namjoon took a deep breath in before saying,  
“Haaa... I don’t know how I’m supposed to end the night so anticlimactic like this and if it’s too forward of me again to say this...”  
“Monsieur... what do you m—-?”  
And right then and there, my gray eyes started shaking and my heart went on a somersault the moment he then asked me straight on,  
“Mademoiselle Keira, will you do me the honor of going steady with me? Will you let me stay by your side from now on?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur Namjoon...”  
I was literally dumbfounded of what I just heard with my own two ears however, as soon as I was about to open my mouth to reply,  
“?!”  
“...!”  
We both flinched the second the rain started pouring down. Last night it was raining and now it was raining once again. Why was it always raining when Namjoon and I were together?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...!”  
“Mademoiselle...! You should head inside! I’ll see you tomorrow...!”  
When Namjoon was about to run off due to the rain and before he could even hear my answer, I just clenched my hands into fists and gathered the rest of my courage to come out before I screamed as loud as I can, louder than the sounds of the rain coming in between us,  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“You can do this Keira... or else you’re going to regret it...”_  
“Monsieur Namjoon...! W-What if I say yes...? W-Will you please stay by my side from now on too?”  
I wondered if he had heard me? When I was about to run after him, my eyes turned so wide and my heart started beating so erratically the second he turns around and runs straight towards me.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“E-Eep?! M-Monsieur?!”  
Namjoon then lifted me up in the air with little to no effort at all on his part. And before I could even react properly, he made our wet lips touch under the witness of the summer rain for the very first time. That was when I knew, Namjoon had kissed me underneath the rainy sky for the first time.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
“I heard you loud and clear, mademoiselle.”  
As I looked down at his smiling deep brown eyes staring so vividly at my gray ones, my hands just reached out to cup both sides of his cheeks as I couldn’t help but smile so widely too in return.

The summer rain in London just watched us start a _new beginning_. A new beginning between the man named Kim Namjoon and I. A new beginning where our feelings mutually aligned in the most unexpected way possible.

However, it was still too early to say that _not all happy beginnings lead to happy endings_.

**  
 _A few days later..._

Right after that night, Namjoon and I saw each other more often since we work under the same company now. We spent more time together after work. Of course Madame instantly knew something was up when she caught us having lunch together, just the two of us. Since she was our boss, we didn’t hide our relationship from her. We were relieved when she didn’t disapprove of our relationship. She had just asked us to be more discreet about being together when we’re at work.

We understood her and made sure that only the important people in our lives knew about us. I didn’t want to affect how people at work are going to perceive Namjoon when he’s just started working here.

I never thought that being in a relationship would make me this happy and thankful, but maybe because it was a man like Namjoon himself... he was someone I didn’t expect to come into my life at all, but I’m glad he did. Even when it costed him bumping his bike into me that day.

 _BGM: Boyfriend (Kim Areum)_  
“Knock, knock? Can I come in?”  
“Of course, come in.”  
As soon as I entered his office, I could only catch my breath at how different Namjoon was when he was in his work mode. His clean, brushed up brown hair. Him looking so immaculately in a business suit. Not to mention, the way he looks so enticing when he’s wearing his spectacles. God, I can’t believe I get to call him _mine_.  
“Am I disturbing you?”  
He just let out a small laugh before standing up from his chair and walked up to me while giving me a charming smile with his dimples poking out.  
“You’re the only one allowed to disturb me at work, mademoiselle.”  
As he stood in front of me, Namjoon moved closer, wrapped his long arms around my waist, and gave me a quick peck on my left cheek that it made me flush like a little girl on cue.  
“J-Jeez, you’re being monsieur smooth talker again.”  
“I can’t help it if you’re in the room, mademoiselle. So, what brings you to my office?”  
Remembering the reason why I came here in the first place, I then handed over the documents to him.  
“Madame asked me to give this to you after our meeting with her just this morning.”  
“Wow, she’s fast. No wonder she’s the boss. Anyway, thank you for bringing it to me.”  
Namjoon surprised me with a kiss again but this time it was on my right cheek. I couldn’t help but giggle.  
“No worries. It was a good excuse to see you too of course.”  
“And you tell me I shouldn’t speak to you while we’re at work. You unfair little lady.”  
Exchanging pecks of kisses on the lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck, it felt surreal that I was quickly falling head over heels over this one man.

“Is it okay if I watch you work, monsieur?”  
“Are you sure? Unlike you, my work is more nonfictional in nature mademoiselle.”  
As I watched Namjoon sit back down on his seat and continued to write along in his notebook while skimming through the thick pile of documents on his work table, my heart just continued to beat like a fool at how striking he was.  
“You’re making me lose concentration if you keep looking at me dreamily like that, mademoiselle.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry... it’s just I can’t help but marvel at how I managed to find myself someone amazing as you, monsieur dimples.”  
Namjoon just gently takes my right hand and planted a kiss at the back of it telling me,  
“You’re wrong mademoiselle. I’m the one who should be saying how I’m lucky to find someone like you all this time...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Monsieur...”  
“Okay, enough of the cloying remarks. I will spoil you with attention right after I finish the lesson plans I’m doing for law school.”  
Law school?  
“Lesson plans? What do you mean, monsieur?”  
Namjoon then just gave me a playful grin behind those glasses of his and asked so nonchalantly,  
“Mademoiselle, are you free after work later?”  
“Hmm? Yes, I am. Why do you ask though?”  
Squeezing my hand, he then followed up another question,  
“Will you come with me later? Please? I want to show you somewhere special, if it’s okay with you mademoiselle?”  
It was the first time Namjoon asked me so intently to come with him somewhere. I had no reason to refuse him especially when he’s the type who doesn’t question me whenever I was the one who asked him to go somewhere with me.  
“Of course, if it’s okay for me to tag along monsieur dimples.”

 _After working hours, around early evening:  
*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur, this place is...”  
“Welcome to my alma mater, mademoiselle.”  
I could only stare in awe at the place where we are now. It was no other than the most prestige university in the whole U.K., _Cambridge University_ itself. I was getting suspicious of why he wanted to drive to _Cambridge_ right after work but to think I’d get to see this beautiful university with my own two eyes and it was the same university Namjoon graduated from...  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur... you’re really... amazing...”  
He just laughed a little at my reaction before taking me by the hand and pressing a quick kiss on my forehead saying,  
“Don’t be silly. Come on, I’ll show you around.”

Namjoon then told me stories about his university days as we walk around the campus together, not to mention the fact why he brought me here out of the blue.  
“I just wanted to show you the place that holds a lot of memories for me when I came to live here in the U.K., and of course, I had to drop off some important documents before a few days from now, my next lectures will start.”  
I just blinked at what he had just said asking,  
“What? Oh my! Don’t tell me the lesson plans you were making back at the office were for...!”  
Chuckling, he just led the both of us to the building where the faculty of law was located at.  
“Ah, I got caught red handed already.”

As soon as we entered the faculty room, Namjoon was then greeted with cordial smiles and respected stares.  
“Professor Kim!”  
“It’s been a while professor! Have you been well?”  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“So this is the man who currently has a hold of my heart... he gets even more remarkable in my eyes every single day...”_  
I thought to myself with a heartfelt smile. While I was being lost in my thoughts, unknown voices then snapped me back to reality going,  
“Oh? Who might you be pretty miss?”  
“Are you perhaps someone acquainted to Professor Kim?”  
When I was about to respond to their questions, Namjoon then caught my gray gaze and shook his head signaling me he’d take care of this situation for now.  
“No, she’s not acquainted with me,”  
 _“W-What?!”_  
“Then?”  
“Who is she Professor Kim?”  
Looking straight into my grey eyes, he just took my hand and squeezed it tightly as he told them,  
“The current most important person to me. That’s why she’s not acquainted to me because she’s much more than that. So I’d like to ask all of you to treat her with the same respect you treat me.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
The law faculty professors just exchanged looks at each other before they all yelled in astonishment saying,  
“What?!”  
“Professor Kim confessing his love right in front of us all?!”  
“Professor Kim really getting a new case of the love bug finally?!”  
Almost flushing in embarrassment of where the situation was going, Namjoon just told them to knock it off as he then introduced me to his fellow law professors.  
“Sheesh. You all are really rowdy and loud whenever it comes to these things. Anyways, this is Miss Keira. The remarkable woman I have the honor of calling my own.”  
“Wait, wait...”  
“Did you just say her name is Miss Keira...?!”  
And before we both knew it, they pushed Namjoon away from me and surrounded me on cue with wide eyes.  
“H-Hey...!”  
“Oh my lord, it’s Miss Keira in the flesh!”  
“Your debut book, _‘a great love’_ , is literally my favorite right now!”  
“W-Will you please sign my book copy Miss Keira?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“O-Okay, sure.”  
Now that was an instant change of pace I didn’t expect to deal with. As they continued to bombard me with one question after another even after I signed their books, Namjoon then took my hand and snatched me away while we ran straight for the door together.  
“Hey Professor Kim!”  
“Where are you going?!”  
“You all had your fun. Now, I’d like to have my **lover** back. See you in a few days!”  
“Excuse us...! And thank you...!”

When we finally managed to escape the faculty room hand in hand, the two of us just broke into passing laughter as he said to me,  
“Well would you look at that, my love is more famous than me.”  
“Oh hush. If you hadn’t mentioned my name, none of that shenanigans would have even happened.”  
“I couldn’t make up your name, could I?”  
Seeing the drops of sweat dripping from his face, I then grabbed my hankie from my dress’ pocket and used it to wipe the sweat from Namjoon’s face when,  
“P-Professor Kim...!”  
The two of us were taken aback when one of the professors from the faculty room then came running up to us.  
“Should I be getting worried now, monsieur?”  
He just shook his head with a smile and whispered back to me,  
“Don’t worry, mademoiselle. He’s actually the most sane one among all of us, more than myself too.”  
“Is that so?”  
The young professor then came up to us and asked Namjoon,  
“Professor Kim, this might sound weird, but are you available right now?”  
Namjoon and I exchanged passing glances at each other as he said,  
“Well, technically no, because I promised the woman beside me I’d spoil her now since my purpose to come here is already done. But why do you ask?”  
Does he really need to use me to get himself out of a sticky situation? I swear, Namjoon and his smart mouth sometimes.  
“Oh, it’s just... one of the part time lecturers couldn’t make it tonight and there’s supposedly to be a criminal law lecture to happen right now.”  
“Professor Kim would be happy to take over the class, sir.”  
“W-What?”  
“Really? You don’t mind him doing it at all, Miss Keira? It’s going to be a two hour lecture too.”  
Namjoon just stared at me in disbelief of what I suggested. Ignoring his eyes’ signal, I just glanced back at the professor and said,  
“Of course I don’t. Is it okay if I sit in the class though?”  
“Hey, who said I was going to...”  
“More than okay Miss Keira! I’m sure Professor Kim is going to be more inspired to teach while you’re there with him!”  
The young professor then gave us the room number before he excused himself to go back to the faculty room to take note of the change of schedule.

“Mademoiselle, why did you tell him yes all of a sudden? You know I can’t give an instant lecture without even having any of my notes with me.”  
As we were walking to the lecture room together, I just sighed and stared at Namjoon saying,  
“I’m still a bit mad at you, so this is just a little payback. Although, you don’t need any of your notes to teach. I know everything that you need is already right inside here.”  
I tapped his forehead on cue.  
“Keira...”  
When we finally reached the lecture room, I just sighed and gave him a reassuring smile before telling him,  
“Don’t belittle yourself without even trying it first, monsieur. Believe in yourself. Since that’s the lawyer and person named Kim Namjoon I’m in love with.”  
“Haaa... you know, you really drive a hard bargain, don’t you mademoiselle Keira?”  
Namjoon just pinched my left cheek before he lets out a short sigh and moved closer to me so he can kiss me on the top of my head.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Of course. I guess it comes with the privilege of dating someone like you, monsieur.”  
“I am going to spoil you rotten by tomorrow. That’s why, watch me for now mademoiselle.”  
Nodding at his last sentence, he then entered the lecture room confidently that as soon as the students were making clamor, he eases everyone in the room with just a simple charismatic smile behind those deep dimples and mystical deep brown eyes of his with the handsome glasses.  
“Everyone settle down. I’m your replacement lecturer for tonight. My name is Professor Kim. Let’s get started then, shall we?”

 _BGM: You are my star (GFRIEND)_  
“Professor, question. Why is amnesia not a valid defense to use in court?”  
“Generally, amnesia or another form of memory loss is not a defense because failing to remember a crime does not mean that the defendant did not intend to commit it. The defendant’s mental state at the time of committing the crime is what determines guilt or innocence.”  
I found myself sitting down at the very corner of the lecture room, near the exit so I won’t disturb the flow of the class happening at the moment as I continued listening to his voice fully taking over my hearing and the whole room itself.  
“Is there an exception to that rule then Professor?”  
“All laws have general rules and exceptions to the rules of course. So, memory loss can support an argument that the defendant is not competent to stand trial, and a judge can consider it when determining a defendant’s sentence.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I couldn’t take my eyes off of Namjoon ever since he stood up ever so undoubtedly there on the podium, even without his books or even his notes. He was teaching them based on his stock knowledge and it was so breathtaking to watch. I seem to be finding out more sides to the man I’m currently seeing, and I don’t mind it at all. Is it _cliche_ if I say I’m in love with all of his sides?  
“You are really a one of a kind man, monsieur lawyer with the dimples.”  
I whispered to myself with a bashful smile. Yet while I was busy being giggly inside my own thoughts, I felt all eyes on me on cue for some reason.  
 _“O-Oh no...”_  
“Miss? Care to tell us one difference between ordinary negligence and criminal negligence?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Namjoon just flashed me his cheeky little grin as if he was trying to pay me back as well for getting him into this situation at the moment.  
 _“Okay Keira... think... think... don’t make yourself look like a moron in front all of these future lawyers, most especially their professor! He’s so not going to get away with this!”  
“Mademoiselle, are you reading my law notes right now? Do you want to get into law school or something?”_  
Recalling something that Namjoon had said to me before, I then took a deep breath before I then answered,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Let’s see, ordinary negligence can lead to civil case liabilities while criminal negligence will for a fact lead to a criminal case filing.”  
“Impressive. You heard the smart young lady. That’s how you simply distinguish ordinary negligence from criminal negligence.”  
Feeling my nerves calm down finally, Namjoon then caught my eye and gave me an approved wink that it made my chest pound like a fool.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Hmph... just because you’re smart and handsome doesn’t mean I’m not going to get you for this, monsieur.”_

Right after the lecture was over, he was then surrounded by a group of students. He really did win them over with just one class. How charismatic can one man be?  
“Professor Kim! Your lecture was spot on!”  
“Yes, we wish you were our regular lecturer too!”  
“Professor, do you want to come to our class’ study circle? We could use the help too for our dissertations!”  
I just watched Namjoon calm down the enthusiastic youngsters before he then caught my eyes once again from the corner and told them while pushing back his spectacles,  
“No can do. My special someone is already waiting for me and I can’t let her continue to wait in vain.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
The minute he then excused himself from the students, he walked straight to where I was and reached out his left hand to me saying,  
“Mademoiselle, I didn’t make you wait for too long, did I?”  
“Hmph. Good thing I like you monsieur, or I would’ve drove back to London alone.”  
Taking my hand, he just pulled it closer to his face and kissed the back of it again telling me before he then turned to the students,  
“I know, I like you too a lot mademoiselle. Everyone, go home safely. Goodbye.”  
The second we exited the lecture room, we could hear the whole room from the hall go into commotion as their voices echoed along saying,  
“Oh my gosh! Wasn’t that lady sitting in our lecture? Is she a student?!”  
“I don’t think so? But eep! Who knew Professor Kim was already taken?!”  
“She’s so lucky! Ugh! I want to be her in my next life!”  
Namjoon and I fell to another round of hearty laughs as he then said ironically,  
“Did you hear that? She wants to be you in her next life mademoiselle?”  
“Ha-ha. Very funny. Do you want to go home by yourself, monsieur?”  
Pinching my cheek, he just cooed at me.  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry mademoiselle. I’m just messing around with you since you were the one who got us both in that situation just now.”  
“Jeez, and who was the one who asked me a question out of the blue during the lecture huh?!”  
Squeezing my hand again, Namjoon just moved his face closer to mine and pecked me swiftly on the lips before we finally reached the parking area.  
“You never fail to surprise me and my heart and even my mind, mademoiselle Keira. Your answer really impressed me back there.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Well... let’s just say I learned from the best and most handsome of course...”  
The two of us just walked to my car in all smiles at the new fond memories we just made in Namjoon’s alma mater in just a matter of hours.

**  
 _One certain day:  
Summer, August of 1974  
Namjoon’s apartment in London_

 _BGM: Memories of summer (Rainbow note)_  
“Monsieur?”  
“Hmm?”  
After spending a Saturday night in his apartment, Namjoon and I were **twisting in his bedsheets** as I then peeked at his still sleepy face while hugging his always big and snuggly naked body.  
“It’s Sunday...! How about we go out and go on a date? My colleagues mentioned a small dance festival happening at _Trafalgar Square_ tonight!”  
Opening his eyes, Namjoon moved his face closer to mine and kissed me slowly on the lips that it made me tingly and giddy.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-mmm...”  
“Good morning, mademoiselle. You’re strangely energetic this morning even after what we did last night.”  
His playful smirk and alluring brown eyes got my chest pounding so loudly in the early morning. Not to mention the memories of our long night made me blush. With a slight groan, I just poked his dimples telling him,  
“J-Jeez, no green jokes in the morning monsieur...! Obviously I’m only acting energetic as a farce even though my body is aching all over because of one certain man...?”  
Stroking my hair, Namjoon planted soft kisses on my eyelids next before he gave me his usual calming smile.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“If you keep looking at me with those glowing gray eyes of yours, don’t blame me if I take you on the bed again this early mademoiselle.”  
I couldn’t help but giggle at his early morning ramblings as I just returned his sweet morning gestures with a quick peck on his lips before I gently took off his arms’ embrace around my waist and scooted off the bed.  
“M-Mademoiselle? W-Where are you...?”  
“We already stayed in bed all day yesterday, monsieur dimples~ see? It’s such a beautiful day!”  
Namjoon groaned the second right after I put on one of his big T-shirt’s in his cabinet, I then opened up the curtains in his room and let the morning sunshine enter through the windows.  
“B-But it’s still so early...”  
“Jeez...! I’m going to find myself another handsome and smart and affectionate lawyer to accompany me today then~”  
He just laughed at my response and said ever so confidently with his deep voice,  
“You won’t find another man like that mademoiselle, not when I’m around.”  
“Is that so? Then, get out of bed already! Time doesn’t wait for no one!”  
As I peeked at his face and playfully put my hands on my hips with a slightly annoyed expression written on my eyes, Namjoon just chuckled before saying,  
“Then give me my morning kiss so I can get up, mademoiselle.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Didn’t you already get one while we were in bed just now?”  
“I want you to do it this time.”  
Seeing the teasing glimmer in his eyes, I was reluctant to do it at first but knowing how stubborn he was, he’s not going to let me get off the hook.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“F-Fine. You’re even using your convincing charisma as a lawyer on me now...”  
As our lips then found each other’s again, I was only going to kiss him for a few quick seconds but before I knew it, Namjoon pulled me closer with one hand and the other steadied me at the back of my head as he made the kiss longer and even more heart-pounding.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur... a-aah...”  
Finally letting me go, I was already flushed even this early in the morning as Namjoon just flashed me a quite satisfied grin on his lips while playfully pinching the tip of my nose.  
“Now that is one morning kiss that’ll give me energy for the whole day.”  
“S-Sheesh... monsieur smooth talker is back at it again...”  
Before I knew it, he then at last gets off his bed and all of a sudden wraps his warm and cozy arms around me.  
“M-Monsieur...?”  
“ _I love you_. I love you very much, my mademoiselle Keira.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I’ve lost how many times my heart had melted for this man, but right at this very moment, right at this very point in time once again, like deja vu, I could feel his ever heartfelt sincerity touching every part of my heart and my soul even in the short span of time we’ve been together.  
“I love you. _I love you too_ , my monsieur dimples. My monsieur smooth talker. My monsieur lawyer. My monsieur flower destroyer. My monsieur Namjoon.”

_A little while later...  
Along Carnaby Street  
London, England, U.K._

_BGM: A day for love (YUKIKA)_  
“So, this one or that one?”  
We found ourselves strolling around _Carnaby Street_ shopping for kitchenwares for a certain reason.  
“Choose anything you want, mademoiselle.”  
“Jeez! That’s not helping at all, monsieur! I can’t have you eating off of broken plates and misplaced utensils!”  
Namjoon may came off smart and untouchable for some reason, but after spending more time with each other ever since, I discovered he was the type to easily lose things here and there, and he also has a habit of breaking some things. Literally. Well, he loves more than he breaks, so I’m not complaining one bit.  
“Oh, right... well, all of them got broken and got lost by accident mademoiselle...”  
Beneath the handsome and charismatic man was an adorable and sometimes childish boy. Pinching his right cheek, I just told him,  
“I know, I know. Now stop giving me those lost puppy dog eyes of yours. Here, we’re almost done monsieur.”  
“What would I do without you, mademoiselle?”  
Tiptoeing to reach his face, I just kissed him swiftly on the lips telling him before I walked straight to the cashier,  
“You did _promise_ to stay by my side from now on, so I’m just returning the favor monsieur.”

After our quick shopping, we continued walking around the shopping district hand in hand. Namjoon didn’t hesitate to carry the paper bags for me with his other free hand.  
“Are you sure about carrying them all by yourself? I can carry some too you know.”  
He just shook his head and said while stealing another kiss on my forehead saying,  
“No, my darling. Since you’ve been taking good care of me, I’ll spoil you extra special today.”  
“Now, I love the sound of that monsieur.”

When we stopped at a small lemonade stand, Namjoon then out of the blue told me,  
“Mademoiselle, why don’t you call me _Joon_ from now on?”  
I blinked at the unforeseen topic coming from him.  
“Joon? You don’t like me calling you monsieur dimples anymore? Or my other nicknames for you?”  
Caressing my cheek, he let out a charming laugh while looking at my gray gaze and said,  
“Of course not. You can call me with any adorable nickname you want to because I love it when you call me endearingly. That’s your sole privilege, my darling mademoiselle.”  
“Then I’m adding monsieur Joon to your nicknames then? _Joon_ rhymes perfectly too with _June_! And that’s the month we happened to meet as well?”  
Pecking me on the lips on repeat, he then wiped my wet lips with his ever attractive fingers.  
“I can’t believe I’m in love with not only a smart, but also a witty, talented, and energetic woman altogether. Where have you been all my life?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
There he goes again, saying things that make me even more weak for him than I already am.  
“Right here. Right here with you now, my monsieur Joon.”

While we were busy being in our little bubble together, I couldn’t help but notice the glances some ladies passing by would shoot at the man sitting beside me.  
“Isn’t he handsome?”  
“He sure is, too bad he’s taken. His girlfriend is also pretty. Jeez.”  
My gaze then focused again on Namjoon. Well of course he sure is handsome and smart and everything but maybe because he knows what to wear too? Right now, he was wearing a simple plain white T-shirt that was hugging his perfectly, melanin toned muscles and long arms, along with his black denim jeans and brown loafer shoes. Also, he was wearing his black and gold framed glasses too and his signature silver watch.  
“Hmmm...”  
“Mademoiselle, penny for your thoughts again?”  
As he caught me staring so intently at him, I then asked him without hesitating,  
“Monsieur, do you know you’re such a sore for the ladies’ eyes? Good thing I’ve snatched you up already.”  
Namjoon laughed out loud at my little pout and places his hand on my chin saying,  
“Mademoiselle, is that jealousy I’m sensing?”  
“Hmph! Of course... I thought jealousy was petty whenever I read it in storylines but I guess it’s a feeling you can’t understand until you feel it for yourself.”  
Before I knew it, Namjoon just playfully flicked me on the forehead which made my eyes turn wide in pure shock.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur?!”  
“You silly lady. No matter how many ladies are going to pass by my eyesight, you’re the only woman I’m not going to let out of my sight. Not ever.”  
Feeling victorious of his answer, I then could feel my cheeks heat up on cue.  
“Satisfied, my silly mademoiselle?”  
“Yes, of course monsieur.”  
Namjoon then caressed the back of my neck before he pressed his lips on mine on repeat like a melody I’ll never get tired of. I’m so happy to call this man as _my own_ as well.

We now were walking around Oxford Street to pass the time until the night comes. He then pointed out to me with a grin,  
“Don’t you even know how many looks from random passerby men I’ve observed too that were ogling at you from head to toe?”  
“What? Now you’re just messing with me monsieur.”  
Squeezing my hand tightly, Namjoon then looked at me from head to toe saying,  
“I wouldn’t blame them. You’re so beautiful like the summer sun, mademoiselle. The way your hair is styled with a lace braid hidden under your vintage cloche hat, and you decided to wear a stunning, floral, white, neck halter dress paired with your white Mary Jane bow strap heels... do you even have any idea how much self control I’m exercising right now for you here in public?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur... you’re making me swoon again with your ever observant statements.”  
Namjoon just smiled at me with his ever so perfect disposition saying while pushing back his hair,  
“Of course, I’m the only man who can make you swoon, my mademoiselle. That’s my sole privilege.”

 _BGM: Time to love (Red Velvet)_  
“Oh! This flower shop...”  
It feels kind of nostalgic to come after more than a month of what happened between Namjoon and I.  
“Wait, isn’t this place...?”  
As he remembered the very special place as well, I nodded and said,  
“Yes, it is. The place where somehow everything started. Don’t you think?”  
“How could I ever forget the day I bumped my bike into you?”  
The two of us just exchanged passing laughter as I gazed at the different flowers from the outside and took in the calming scents they had while Namjoon entered the shop alone. And then,  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“Oh?”  
I was taken by surprise the second I heard a seemingly familiar barking coming from my feet. And my eyes couldn’t stop shaking when I then saw the very same _corgi dog_ that I saw that day.  
“It’s you! Oh my! What are you doing here little one?”  
Before I knew it, I then knelt down and started playing with the cute corgi dog and scratched it gently at the back of its ears.  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“You little mischievous guy, how did you even find yourself back here huh?”  
The adorable dog just stared at me with its big brown eyes as its tail continued to wag happily as if it also remembered me from that day.

“Thank you auntie, I’m sure she’s going to love these flowers.”  
“No worries handsome lad. I’m very happy hearing that you got her in the end.”  
I then heard voices coming near towards where I was.  
“Come here boy, I want you to see someone!”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“Hmm? Mademoiselle? Who are you talking to?”  
With a huge smile forming on my lips, I then carried the cute corgi dog in my arms the minute Namjoon comes back while surprisingly carrying a bouquet of flowers in his hands.  
“T-That dog...”  
“Oh, little one, it looks like monsieur dimples finally recognized you!”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
Namjoon could only stare blankly at the dog in my arms and another voice then came into the scene saying,  
“ _June_ sweetie, there you are! Oh? Keira darling? What are you doing here?”  
It was no other than the auntie who owned the flower shop. Don’t tell me?  
“Auntie? Is this corgi dog yours?”  
“Yes, my dear. Don’t tell me June here caused you any trouble?”  
Namjoon and I exchanged glances at each other as he sighed while I couldn’t help but chuckle as I played with the doggie’s cute paws.  
“Well...”  
“You have no idea auntie...”  
“Oh? Do you two know each other?”  
Auntie looked at the two of us in confusion.  
“Oh auntie! Well,”  
“Auntie, she’s the woman I’ve been telling you about. Miss Keira here is the woman I’m seeing.”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
The corgi in my arms then snapped auntie back from her shocked gaze as she then squealed,  
“What?! So Keira darling is the one who received those _Gerbera daisies_ back when you came to buy them?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ _Gerbera daisies?_ ”  
As if the puzzle was unraveling right in front of me, no wonder the flowers Namjoon gave to me during our first date looked so familiar.  
“You brought the flowers from our first date here then, monsieur?”  
“Yes, mademoiselle. Although I didn’t expect that this flower shop was the same one where you brought those flowers too back when we accidentally met.”  
Auntie clapped in glee as she then said,  
“Oh my my my! Who would’ve thought that _my flowers_ were the connection that brought you two together!”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
It looked like the corgi in my arms wanted to prove otherwise.  
“Hmm? June? Why are you suddenly so loud huh?”  
Hugging the fluffy creature around my arms, I couldn’t help but stifle out a giggle saying,  
“So _June_ is your name huh little one? Strange, it perfectly rhymes with someone’s name I know very well too? Right, monsieur Joon?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“Ah, no wonder you’re suddenly attached to the dog then because we both have rhyming names mademoiselle?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“N-No...! There you go, saying whatever you please again monsieur.”  
While Namjoon and I were bantering like a couple of fools with June in my arms, we both didn’t notice the quite loving gaze Auntie had as she continued watching us.  
“Why am I getting the feeling that June got involved with something between the two of you?”  
“Hmm, let’s see... it’s a funny story actually, auntie.”  
“This doggie named June is actually the sole reason why Miss Keira and I met by accident. Right, little guy?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
All of us laughed at its energetic reaction as Namjoon and I then told Auntie about that one certain day.  
“Well, I see. I want to apologize but after hearing how it was June who brought you two together, I’m not going to do so.”  
Namjoon and I just looked at each other with smiles before we both patted the dog in my arms.  
“Thank you then little June for crossing ways with monsieur Joon here that day.”  
“It might have costed me a bike but if it meant to meet mademoiselle Keira here, I’ll have to give you my thanks too you little rascal.”

 _BGM: Sharala (CLC)_  
After we parted ways with little June and Auntie, I wrapped my arms around Namjoon’s right arm telling him in awe,  
“Who would’ve thought that _flowers and a corgi dog_ would be our connecting puzzle?”  
“Well, life as they say is sure full of mysteries mademoiselle.”  
I then found myself focusing on the bouquet in Namjoon’s hands. I completely forgot the fact he was holding on to those flowers ever since we were back at flower shop.  
“Monsieur?”  
“Hmm? What is it?”  
Pointing to the flowers, I then asked him curiously,  
“That _lavender_ bouquet? Who are you buying them for? They smell absolutely divine too!”  
The two of us paused on cue from our walking as if he remembered the reason why he brought the flowers in the first place.  
“Monsieur? Is something wrong?”  
”Well um... they’re for you, my mademoiselle Keira.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Facing me, he then handed over the pretty bouquet of lavender flowers to me out of the blue.  
“W-Wait, they were for me all along?”  
Namjoon almost flushed in embarrassment as he told me,  
“O-Of course, why would I buy flowers for someone else aside from you mademoiselle? I... I just lost the timing to give them to you especially since you were too busy doting over that little corgi.”  
Was this what I think it was?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Monsieur dimples, don’t tell me you’re getting jealous over an adorable dog?”  
“And just because the doggie’s name was June too...”  
Namjoon tried to hide his blushing face however, yet his reaction was way too cute for words that I couldn’t stop myself from embracing him on cue. I cooed at him.  
“Aww my monsieur Joon... don’t worry, you’ll always be my favorite Joon. So, thank you for the flowers again, monsieur. They’re beautiful.”  
Accepting my embrace, I felt his warm lips then land on my left ear that it automatically made me flinch as he said,  
“Not as beautiful as you are, my mademoiselle.”  
The summer afternoon passed by in a flash and before we knew it, the sun sets and the sky was then filled with twinkling stars next.

_Evening of the same day:  
Trafalgar Square  
London, England, U.K._

It seems that there was indeed a small dance festival happening here at the capital’s most known town square. There were plenty of pretty fairy lights dangling over the streetlights and even surrounding the fountain itself. Also, lots of small, foldable tables and chairs with umbrellas. Just like the ones we saw when we were eating at Birmingham on our first date.  
“Monsieur, look! It feels like we’ve been transported back to _Birmingham_ that one night.”  
“You’re right, mademoiselle.”  
It looks like the small festival also prepared some go-to kiosks where we can find something to eat and drink. Not to mention, the speakers were already being set up near the center of the fountain.

Right after the speakers were set up, the whole town square was then filled with lively music that got everyone pairing up and dancing together.  
“Somehow this scene feels a bit familiar, right mademoiselle?”  
Following Namjoon’s line of sight, I nodded.  
“Just like that night at the party when we formally met?”  
“Yes, exactly. How could I forget the night where I got to see you looking so exquisitely in that pink cocktail dress and white heels of yours mademoiselle?”  
“There you go again, monsieur. Need I remind you, you were the apple of the eye for all the ladies that night! Especially when you were in that gray suit of yours!”  
Recalling the fond memory of how he also boldly asked me to dance with him at the ballroom that night, back when we had no idea about each other yet, I then stood up from my seat and reached out my left hand to him asking,  
“Will you do me the honor of having a dance with yours truly, monsieur?”  
It didn’t even take five seconds for Namjoon to take my hand saying with a handsome grin,  
“I would be honored, mademoiselle.”

 _BGM: Starlight (LOONA odd eye circle)_  
As the previous song was already ending, the next song was a slow one. A slow tune that was perfect to dance with someone special underneath the starry summer sky in London.  
“Why does the music always go slow when we’re dancing together huh monsieur?”  
“Now that you mention it, the first time we danced together, the song was just as soft as this one.”  
However, there was one difference of course from the last time we slowed dance together. Looking up at Namjoon’s deep brown eyes, I told him,  
“There’s one huge difference from what happened before though.”  
“Oh? Enlighten me then.”  
I then leaned my head on his calmly beating chest as we continued swaying along to the slow melody while his one arm was wrapped around my waist and the other one was holding tightly onto my left hand.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Back then, you were just a mysterious stranger to me. But now, you’re someone I’d call _mine_.”  
“And you tell me I’m the smooth one, mademoiselle sweet talker.”  
As soon as our eyes locked onto each other’s on perfect timing, Namjoon then leaned his forehead on mine and said,  
“There’s another difference you didn’t mention mademoiselle.”  
“Hmm? Another difference?”  
He kissed me quick on the top of my nose and looked at me so bewilderingly behind those spectacles and deep brown eyes of his.  
“Back then, I was only curious about you. Now, I’m absolutely in love with everything about you, mademoiselle Keira.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur Joon...”  
Namjoon then moved to kiss my lips slowly next. I will never get tired of feeling his lips’ undeniably perfect warmth with mine every single time he showers me with his kisses.

The two of us felt like we were the only two people to exist at that very exact second with the twinkling night sky in the summer as our one sole witness. If it were possible, I would have wished upon a star to stay like this forever, just me leaning and listening to Namjoon’s heartbeat while he embraces and kisses me in his snug arms.

“Mademoiselle, do you want to ditch the party and head back together?”  
Namjoon’s mellow but almost growling whisper inside my left ear sent all kinds of good shivers over my whole body as I just nodded. It looks like the wine’s effect was doing its fine job with us.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yes, please monsieur... take me home.”  
“As you wish my lady.”  
Taking my hand, the two of us then made a run for it. Running with him on the streets, whether it was during the day or night, I will never forget these kind of memories for as long as I’m breathing.

I will never forget this summer for as long as I’m able to.

 _BGM: Venus (Rainbow note)_  
 _“ **Are you sure**?”_  
I still could hear his whisper linger in the **salty summer air** as the only words I could tell him were,  
 ** _“Never have I ever before.”_**

As soon as we arrived back at his apartment and he locked the front door, Namjoon pinned my back on the door and kissed me rough and harder that it literally made my knees and legs shake and turn into jelly.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur... m-mmm...”  
“Sssh mademoiselle, didn’t I tell you I’d spoil you extra special today...?”  
I could only let out more dreamy sighs and moans as his lips explored not only my facial features, but also reached towards my sensitive neckline and exposed shoulders.  
“H-Haaaa... m-monsieur...”  
Wrapping my arms right around his neck, my hat then plops down to the floor as he then made my legs wrap around his strong waist on cue.  
“My lady, how are you so precious and beautiful all at the same time?”  
He whispered in between our hot and heavy kissing.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“J-Joon...”  
As he caught my gray gaze with his piercing brown ones in a snap, he pressed a kiss on my right ear which instantly made my body and nerves jump.  
“Damn, you really know to turn on my switch, don’t you Keira?”

Without further ado, he carried me upstairs to his room while not moving his lips away from mine. Not even once that I had to catch multiple short breaths more than usual.

When we finally reached his room, he gently lets my body plop down to his bedsheets while continuing to communicate with my lips and heavy breathing.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaaa... h-aaaa... m-monsieur... undress me please...”  
“Yes, my lady...”  
Every time Namjoon took off my clothes, piece by piece, he’d then kiss them on the exact same places. From my feet, to my chest, to my breasts, to my hips, to my thighs, and even to the most sensuous part of my whole body.  
“Hmm... it looks like your beautiful goddesses haven’t relaxed yet, mademoiselle...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-aaah...! M-Monsieur...!”  
I screamed in elation when Namjoon then bit my nipples and started fondling around with my breasts.  
“S-Shit... how are you so beautiful, my lady?”  
He was teasing me so much that the whole room turned to these different shades of colors.  
“J-Joon...”  
“Take off my clothes for me too as well, mademoiselle.”  
“Hmm... as much as seeing you in glasses is my sweet tender spot... they need to come off for now.”  
“As you please, my lady.”  
Nodding in a daze, I then followed suit as I took off the rest of his clothes, from his loafer shoes, his denim pants, his underwear, his watch and his now sweaty white shirt altogether. I could only marvel at his bare body towering over on top of me. My hands then trailed to his broad back and chest as I whispered while gazing straight into his eyes,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-How are you real, my monsieur Joon?”  
Gently taking one of my hands, he then placed it right by his now, heavily pounding chest. The thumping of his heart was also just as fast as mine.  
“Do you hear that then mademoiselle? That’s how much you’re making me nervous... I wonder too if you are just a dream for me...”  
“J-Joon...”  
“Especially when you call me so alluringly like that, I just want to devour you...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
This wasn’t the first time he made love to me, however why did it feel like tonight felt a little bit more special than usual?  
“You are the only one permitted to do so, monsieur...”  
As those simple words then escaped my mouth, Namjoon flashed me his rare enticing dragon eyed gaze which he only shows to me when we’re alone right before he entrapped our lips and sweating bodies together over and over.  
“Permission granted then, my lady.”

“A-aah... m-monsieur... s-s'il vous plaît...”  
“Haaa... I love it when you turn all French on me, my lady...”  
Namjoon’s tongue reached all over my body which drove me crazy and made it squirm in the best way in the right places. The way his delicate fingers would touch my skin so carefully as well as if he was treating me like a feather.  
“Y-You smell so much more sweeter than a flower itself, mademoiselle...”  
“H-Haaa... h-aaa... J-Joon...!”  
I yelped out his name the moment I felt his lips and tongue reach into my clit. He sucked and licked into me harder than any bee sucking nectar from a newly bloomed flower. I just pulled hard onto his fluffy, now messed up hair and dug deeply my fingers onto his broad back in response to my ecstatic groaning as he held my thighs tightly.  
“F-Fuck my lady, you taste even heavenly than usual...!”  
“A-aah...! A-aaah...! S-Shit...!”  
My other hand could only pull onto the bedsheets as I let him continue whatever he wanted because it was too euphoric that not even our whimpers and hoarse breathings for each other were enough to stop us.

“M-Monsieur...”  
“D-Don’t give me your tantalizing gray eyed stare mademoiselle... it’s driving me insane...”  
After he had his little play time inside of me, he went back to conquering my lips with his strong tongue and stroking every part of my figure which he loves that made my whole senses take flight.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaaa... h-aaa... _I-I love you_ monsieur... I-I love you monsieur Joon...”  
“M-My lady, m-my mademoiselle, m-my Keira...”  
As our brown and gray eyes caught up with each other, he planted kisses on my sweaty eyelids before saying to me,  
“Y-You are so beautiful mademoiselle, that’s why I’m going to show you how breathtaking you are...”  
Namjoon then split up my legs apart before he slowly entered in me that it made both of us scream in exhilaration.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-aah! M-Monsieur...! ça fait mal...!”  
“A-aah! Y-You feel so perfectly right, my lady...!”  
He continued kissing me and my neckline while exploring inside of me with every thrust. Sighing dreamily, I then bit him on his lips telling him,  
“M-Monsieur, p-plus vite s'il vous plait...”  
“E-English please my lady, but yes you sound so sexy right now...”  
Pecking his lips, I just grinned at him saying,  
“F-Faster p-please...?”  
Finding my tongue again with his, he just kissed me deeply while my body writhed with him still being inside of me.  
“D-Damn, you’re not only a celestial siren but also a minx huh?”  
“M-mmm... h-haaa... o-only for you, m-monsieur...”

With every thrust Namjoon exerted, my body would react as if it’s magic and as if it was the first time he would make love to me. It was like I was stuck in a _last song syndrome_ with him. Over and over again.  
“H-Haaa... h-haaa Joon...!”  
“H-Haaa... h-haaa Keira...!”  
As he was embracing me tightly in his warm but sweaty arms while continuing his thrusts, my hands found themselves playing with and running through his hair as our lips never ceased to part from each other’s like a hypnotic spell.  
“I-I’m almost there my lady...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-aah... I’m... I’m ready to cum if you are, monsieur...”  
As our magnetic stares then focused on each other along with our heavy breathing, Namjoon just grinned at me playfully with his ever charming dimples popping out in his face.  
“L-Let’s cum together then, mademoiselle...”  
After a few more thrusts inside of me, Namjoon and I continued to stick to each other like magnets before we finally reached the climax of our intense love making and our yelps lingered inside his room.

Hugging each other, I couldn’t help but giggle while still in a daze at his heavily sweating forehead.  
“What’s making you laugh, my lady?”  
“Hmm... it’s just... even when you’re sweating, you look so darn handsome monsieur... h-how is that even possible?”  
Cupping my also sweating cheeks with his hands, he just kissed me with a chuckle coming out of his mouth saying,  
“Do you have any idea how enthralling you look in my eyes right now, mademoiselle? I... _I love you_ so much...”  
“And... _I love you too_ , very much, my monsieur Joon...”  
The two of us continued exchanging kisses even when we laid back on bed together while holding each other’s hands tightly on a beautiful summer night.

 _The next day,_  
“Good morning, my lady.”  
While I was making breakfast in the kitchen, I was then surprised when I felt Namjoon wrapping his cozy arms around me from behind and giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Well good morning to you too, monsieur. I didn’t expect you to wake up this early.”  
“The bed felt cold on your side so I couldn’t sleep anymore.”  
Glancing back at him, I just turned off the stove and said,  
“Aww~ did you miss me that much even when we were sticking to each other like glue since last night monsieur?”  
Namjoon grinned teasingly at me while caressing my lips with his thumb.  
“When I see you walking around in my clothes especially my very oversized, buttoned-up, long sleeved polo shirts, how could I not miss you mademoiselle? It just turns on my switch you know.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“J-Jeez, it’s still early monsieur smooth talker.”  
Giving me a tight back hug, Namjoon kissed me this time at the top of my hair and said,  
“Thank you for always staying by my side ever since that day, my mademoiselle.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-I should be the one thanking you for staying by my side since that day though, my monsieur Joon.”  
As he gave me a quick kiss on my right earlobe, my body automatically leaped in pure surprise.  
“N-No fair with the surprise attack there, monsieur dimp—-?”  
When I was about to give him a piece of my mind in the early morning, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking the moment he pulled out a small, dark blue box from his short’s pocket and opened it for me before Namjoon then asked,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur, this is...”  
“This maybe unlike of me again, but... mademoiselle Keira, will you come back to _Birmingham_ with me and come meet my family?”

My heart’s pounding echoed so loudly inside my ears, yet it was purely out of happiness from his unanticipated question and the unbelievable surprise inside the dark blue box.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I would be honored to, my monsieur!”  
The minute I said yes and he puts on the shining necklace around my neck, Namjoon pressed a kiss on my lips before he lifted me up in the air with happiness filling up the entirety of his apartment on another wonderful summer morning.

_**The summer where I was living for the hope of it all.** _

**  
 _Autumn of 1974:  
Birmingham, England, U.K._

It was around autumn time when Namjoon and I paid a visit to his family. He was as smart and witty as his father, kind and warm-hearted as his mother, playful and silly like his little sister. Seeing how close and protective he was with his family made my heart warm and fuzzy because I missed that kind of nostalgic feeling. Whenever I felt like I was a third party who didn’t belong, Namjoon and his family made sure I wouldn’t feel like that at all the entirety of the time I was with them.  
“Monsieur, I didn’t know it was possible to love you as much as I love your family too altogether.”  
Kissing me on the forehead, he would just tell me again and again,  
“I have no rights whatsoever to judge your relationships with your own family mademoiselle, but I’ll just love you so much more along with my family now. You’re never going to feel alone ever again, you got that?”  
Feeling a bit of my tears streaming down my face, I nodded as a sincere smile took over my lips as I told him,  
“T-Thank you monsieur, how did I deserve someone remarkable as you?”  
“My silly mademoiselle, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve someone stunning as you are. _I love you._ ”

 _BGM: Gwangalli (Rainbow note)_  
“Was it really okay for us to leave them, monsieur?”  
“Don’t worry mademoiselle, it’s okay. They did say they wanted us to have some alone time since we were all together the whole time when we arrived.”  
Namjoon and I were walking along _Birmingham’s_ serene streets after we separated from his family back at their home.  
“What do you want to do for the rest of the afternoon then, monsieur dimples?”  
Squeezing my hand, he just stroked the back of my hair which was tied up into a ponytail and gave me his usual boyish smile.  
“Anywhere, as long as you’re with me, my mademoiselle.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Hmm, how cliche... but I like it.”  
I teased him back as we both swayed our hands holding on to each other’s back and forth while humming together.

“M-Monsieur...! This is fun, isn’t it?”  
“Focus in front of you mademoiselle, or else you might end up bumping into someone with your bike and fall in love with that person along with it.”  
“J-Jeez,”  
While strolling around, we were both excited to find a place in Birmingham where we could rent bicycles and just cycle around town together.  
“Somehow, us cycling together was something I didn’t picture of until now.”  
“Why? Because of the day we accidentally met then?”  
After cycling around a few blocks together, we now found ourselves taking a break in front of a shop that sells locally made pastries and some delicious hot chocolate.  
“I guess monsieur? I also couldn’t stop wondering what ever happened to that bicycle of yours though?”  
Wiping my lips from the bread crumbs and stains of hot chocolate with his fingers, Namjoon just chuckled and said,  
“Let’s just say that bicycle had lived its life to the fullest already that day when I bumped into you.”  
 _*thump*_  
“O-Oh... that’s kind of sad then... am I still allowed to say I’m sorry?”  
With a tiny sigh and smile, Namjoon comes closer and kisses me all of a sudden on the lips which completely catches me off guard as I just blinked. Even the mix of hot chocolate on our lips and his woody scent were making me feel a lot of weird buzzing inside my chest.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why did you kiss me when I asked you an important question just now, monsieur?”  
“Well then, should I call you mademoiselle bike destroyer then? Since you call me monsieur flower destroyer too?”  
He just topped my question with another question of his own. It was my turn this time to sigh as he said,  
“I don’t see the need of you apologizing for my bicycle when in the end, it led me to you mademoiselle. I got you in the end instead of a new bicycle. I don’t regret it one bit.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Monsieur...”  
Namjoon then reached out to gently caress the glistening charm around my neck, the very necklace he had given to me, and smiled at me so beautifully saying,  
“Not even the painted _Gerbera daisies_ in this necklace is enough to show you how much you mean to me, mademoiselle.”  
“The feeling is mutual, my monsieur.”  
He just kissed the necklace before proceeding to give my lips a few loving pecks as we just got lost in each other’s embrace by the quiet sidewalk.

_A little while later...  
By the downtown overpasses:  
Birmingham, England, U.K._

_BGM: Luv Highway (Eyedi)  
*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wow... nothing really beats watching the sunset in the fall, don’t you think monsieur?”  
“I knew you would love this spot just as much as I do, mademoiselle.”  
Namjoon and I then cycled around more until we reached a secret spot where he’d told me about and how he loved the view of the sunset here. As I watched Namjoon’s broad back being reflected gorgeously under the sunset sky when he got off the bicycle first, I thought to myself like a lovesick fool before asking him,  
 _*thump* *thump*  
 **“His back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it...”**_  
“How did you even find a place like this, monsieur?”  
As we parked our bicycles, we just stared up at the sunset which was now stained red orange with a hint of sky blue and pastel pink. Namjoon then pulled me closer to his side and rests his chin and head on my right shoulder while wrapping his long arms around my waist so tenderly from behind me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur Joon?”  
“If you’re thinking I came here with someone, the answer is no mademoiselle. I came here alone, starting back when it was around months after we first moved here to the U.K., this place was like a safe haven for me before I got into Cambridge.”  
I continued to listen attentively to everything he was telling me, especially if it was about his memories in the past.  
“Am I talking too much, my lady?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
He caught me staring so clearly at him the second he peeks at my face. Shaking my head, I said to him in all smiles,  
“No, I love watching you talk monsieur. Please go on. Your voice is really so soothing, to be honest. I could listen to you talking all day long.”  
“Is that so? Well I could stay in this position too the whole day with you, mademoiselle.”  
Namjoon then stole a quick kiss on my right cheek that it made me smile unknowingly at how much he showers me with his affections.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I just realized that we’re strangely matching today monsieur Joon?”  
“Hmm? Now that I look at it...”  
The two of us were both wearing black turtlenecks, however I was in my black cropped pants while Namjoon was in his white cropped pants.  
“It’s the first time I’m seeing you wear black ballet flats instead of your heels too, mademoiselle. But of course, you still look dazzling in all black, especially in a black turtleneck too.”  
I flinched when he all of a sudden kisses me on the bottom of my right earlobe without fair warning.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur, really... don’t just surprise me with your kisses... it’s bad for my heart. Also, you look so strikingly inviting with your black turtleneck hiding those attractively fitted muscles of yours too!”  
“My lady, should I tell you that you’ve had all the freedom to touch them as you please especially when we’re alone though? Do you need a reminder?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Almost blushing at his flirty retort, I just diverted the conversation telling him,  
“And if you should know, I’m wearing flats today because I’ve had the feeling that we were going cycling.”  
Namjoon laughed at my answer and how I just completely ignored his last question as he continued hugging me strongly in his warm arms.  
“Had a feeling then huh? Anyway, I can’t control my affections for you, mademoiselle. You just feel so perfect in my arms. Every touch feels perfect if it’s for you.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Whatever you say, monsieur smooth talker.”  
The two of us continued watching the sunset sky in wonderment before we cycle back to return the bicycles when nighttime comes.

Even if that **_summer had already slipped away into a moment in time_** , my love for one man will continue to grow even as seasons change because he for a fact was mine.

I didn’t know that **_by calling Namjoon mine, he was also mine to lose_**. Soon.

**  
 _Winter of 1974:  
Paris, France_

 _BGM: Star (MINSEO)_  
 _“Keira honey, just... just don’t come back anymore.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
As we stepped out of the airport and felt the winter air creeping in with a chilly breeze, it wasn’t only the winter air that made me quivered in the early morning.  
“Mademoiselle? Everything alright?”  
“!”  
Namjoon’s voice was the only audible sound that managed to snap me back to my own self.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur,”  
“Did you remember something you shouldn’t again?”  
Reading me like an open book, I had no choice but to nod.  
“Y-Yes, I just remembered something that the mother inside my memories had said those years ago.”  
Gripping tightly onto my hand, Namjoon then placed his gentle hand on my chin as he said to me while gingerly giving me a kiss on my lips,  
“Didn’t I tell you mademoiselle, you’re not alone anymore? I’m here. I’m here for you. If you need anyone to talk to, my ears are always open for you. If you need anyone to just give you a hug, my arms are always open for you. Only you.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
Trying to wipe the signs of tears now obvious on my eyes, Namjoon just wiped them away while putting down our luggage and gave me his usual homelike hug. The hug that could turn my hurt into a smile in a snap. The hug that felt like summer all over again in the winter.  
“I know I’ll never be enough for you mademoiselle, but just know that I’ll be here for you every step of the way. I refuse to let you cry all alone when you don’t deserve any tears, okay? Not now, not ever.”  
“Silly... you’re already so much more than enough for me, my monsieur Joon... you’ve already given me so much and my heart just feels so full with you... that’s why, thank you... thank you for just existing.”  
To come back to _Paris_ , to the place I _once used to call home_ , wasn’t something I had dreamt of doing even after all the years that passed by... but because of him, maybe... just maybe, this won’t come back to haunt me the rest of the time we’re staying here.

 _Almost a week ago:_  
“Madame asked me to go to Paris next week. She wants me to urgently take care of something there at the courthouse.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
I unknowingly dropped the mug I was about to give to Namjoon after I made him some coffee while he was busy focusing on his law school lesson plans and work related cases.  
“M-Mademoiselle?! A-Are you okay?!”  
Quickly taking off his glasses, he then stood up from his work seat and rushed to my side to see if I had hurt myself anywhere.  
“M-Monsieur, I’m... I’m sorry.”  
“T-Thank goodness, don’t scare me like that mademoiselle...!”  
After he thoroughly checked any parts of my body which could have gotten scratched or got hit by the now scattered, broken pieces of glass on the floor, Namjoon then pulled me in for a calming embrace that quickly made me stop from trembling.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-I’m sorry monsieur... I didn’t mean to break your mug...”  
“Fuck the mug, I’m... I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt, my lady. Please... please don’t scare me like that ever again, Keira.”  
Namjoon then cupped my still distressed looking face through my cheeks and leaned his forehead onto mine before kissing me on the tip of my nose saying,  
“Mademoiselle, go sit down on the sofa while I clean up. Okay?”  
“T-Thank you, monsieur Joon...”  
Following his simple instruction, I took a few deep breath ins and outs as I watched him clean up the broken pieces of the mug. He then went to sit down by my side right after he prepared some hot _chamomile tea_ for me to drink.

“Here, drink this mademoiselle so it’ll help with your nerves too.”  
“Thank you, monsieur.”  
After taking a few sips of the tea, Namjoon then kindly takes both of my hands and gave them a light squeeze saying,  
“Mademoiselle, be honest with me. Are you worried about me going to Paris?”  
I nodded and told him in all honesty,  
“Yes, I am monsieur. I don’t know why I’m even feeling like this... but the minute you had mentioned Paris, I... I was taken aback and of course,”  
Stroking one side of my cheeks, Namjoon then finished my sentence for me going,  
“You remembered memories of your family back in Paris then, am I right?”  
He wasn’t a lawyer and the man I love for nothing.  
“Y-Yes... I know it’s foolish of me to feel like this especially when your visit there is work related and all but...”  
Pulling me closer to his side again, Namjoon lets my head rest on his steadily beating chest as he wrapped me in his embrace while patting me at the back of my head to relax me which worked like magic.  
“No, don’t say that mademoiselle. Just because you’re having negative feelings right now doesn’t mean they need to be invalidated. We’re all human after all.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You always know the right words to make me feel better and teach me life lessons too altogether, don’t you monsieur Joon?”  
A giggle then came out of my mouth without even taking notice of it myself.  
“Now, there’s the little giggle I love.”  
As he lets me go from his embrace, both of us just looked earnestly at each other, his brown eyes on my gray eyes and vice versa, I just moved closer and kissed him momentarily on his lips telling him,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Is it okay if I ask you to take me with you to Paris then, monsieur dimples?”  
Namjoon’s eyes turned wide at my unexpected request. But, he just returned another kiss on my lips this time and smiled at me so heartily with my favorite dimples appearing on his cheeks on cue.  
“I wouldn’t have it in any other way, my mademoiselle Keira. I’d be honored to have you with me, my lady.”  
The two of us went on to hugging each other on repeat that I just joked at Namjoon lastly,  
“Don’t you have a lot of things to finish on your desk back there, monsieur?”  
“No, work can wait. Me spoiling you, it can’t.”  
Once again, I told myself like a broken record player, thank god a man like _Kim Namjoon_ exists. Thank god his existence came to cross with mine.

 _BGM: Cherries Jubiles (YUKIKA)_  
After we took a cab heading straight to our hotel and settled in, I took him around the places I loved in my home city. From the _L’Arc de Triomphe, the Notre Dame Cathedral_ , and even just the streets that felt so nostalgic to walk on and see all over again.  
“How does it feel to be back in your home city, my lady?”  
As we grabbed some coffee and hot tea to carry around while we continued walking around the winter streets of the _City of Love_ hand-in-hand, Namjoon wouldn’t hesitate to kiss me on my cheeks to snap me out from my longing daze over all the views I had just missed.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur, I’m not dreaming right?”  
“My silly, silly mademoiselle... I’ll kiss you no matter how many times to prove you’re not dreaming at all.”  
Since showing public acts of affection was a trademark in Paris, I didn’t hesitate too to shower Namjoon with my kisses as well telling him with a grateful smile,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Since we’re in Paris now, I won’t hold back too monsieur. Je t'aime tellement. _Je t’aime_ monsieur Namjoon.”  
“Haaa... hearing you say you love me is already my Achilles heel, but now hearing you say you love me in _French_... I think I found my new found Achilles heel, mademoiselle.”  
The cold weather didn’t bother me at all, not as long as my human hand-warmer was holding me so close to him. Slowly, the sad memories were evaporating into the thin, cold air and were now being replaced by happy, hearty ones.

_A little while later...  
Musee de l'Orangerie  
Paris, France_

_BGM: Cherries Jubiles (YUKIKA) cont._  
“T-This museum,”  
“I know we’ve been to countless museums already back in _London_ and _Birmingham_ but... I wanted to take you firsthand here. I know too that you prefer small museums instead of the tourist attraction ones.”  
Namjoon’s eyes started sparkling like a little child who was excited to go on a field trip. He just kissed me quickly on my lips before saying,  
“I really don’t know how I got so lucky with you, my lady, my mademoiselle.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You haven’t seen what’s inside yet. Let’s go, monsieur.”  
The two of us then hurriedly entered the museum together and roamed around. Namjoon would share a lot of his knowledge of the arts that it just made him more beautiful in my gray eyes.  
“Do you like the place then, monsieur? Is it to your artistic liking?”  
Chuckling, he said to me as we were standing in front of the biggest and longest painting inside the whole museum,  
“The fact that you chose a museum that wouldn’t be swarmed with crowds, I don’t mind not getting to see the _Mona Lisa_.”  
“Oh, really?”  
“You’re more beautiful than any painting, even the _Mona Lisa_ herself, mademoiselle.”  
Namjoon grinned at me like a little boy as he sneaked a three second kiss on my lips.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-How many times are you going to attack me with your never ending kisses today, monsieur smooth talker?”  
“Maybe I’m too affected of being at the _City of Love_ with you, the love of my life mademoiselle?”  
Giggling at his coy replies, I just played along with him while hiding the very fact I couldn’t stop blushing and my heart’s pounding constantly growing because of him.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I guess that is what Paris does to you monsieur, especially since it’s your first time here too~”

_Around Champs-Élysées:  
Paris, France_

_BGM: Cherries Jubiles (YUKIKA) cont._  
“Oh, celui-ci s'il te plait.”  
“OK chéri.”  
We were having lunch along the most famous shopping district in Paris. Tourist or non-tourist, this place was a must go-to place for anyone who comes to this part of the city.  
“Hearing you speak French is really seductive, mademoiselle. The perks of being in love with someone from the _City of Love_ itself.”  
After I had finished ordering for the both of us, he would nonstop take my hand with his and stroke them or even kiss them without due notice.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“J-Jeez, monsieur smooth talker is really having a lot of fun today huh?”  
“How can I not? Even though we’re here for work and all, Madame did tell us to treat this like a mini vacation since you decided to come along too.”  
Madame was really something else for letting me come with Namjoon. Instead of only being here for the weekend, she decided to extend our work-related stay here for over a week.  
“We should bring her back something when we get back next week, monsieur Joon.”  
“You always know how to read my mind perfectly, mademoiselle.”  
I just smiled like a giggly school girl as Namjoon squished my cheeks in his big, affectionate hands.  
“J-Jeez, stop treating me like a little girl monsieur...!”  
“Don’t worry, I’ll treat you more than a little girl when we get back to our hotel later, my lady. I promise you that.”  
He winked charmingly at me while telling me that in a low voiced whisper with his ever unfair dimples that got me catching a breath.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keep your perverted flirtations at bay, monsieur. Need I remind you we’re in public?”  
As Namjoon continued driving me crazy with his alluring brown eyed gaze, the food finally arrived just in time.  
“Vous deux êtes si mignons, mademoiselle.”  
“A-Ah, merci...!”  
The kind waitress just gave us both a smile after she puts down our food and says lastly before leaving us to tend to another table,  
“Bon appétit, mademoiselle, monsieur! Ah~ C'est bon d'être jeune.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Mademoiselle, what did she say? Why did you suddenly turn pink on the cheeks?”  
Slicing a piece of the steak, I then placed it inside Namjoon’s still blabbing mouth with my fork.  
“H-Hey...?”  
Seeing his taken aback expression behind those glasses of his, I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a hearty laugh as I just said,  
“The waitress just said that we look cute together and that it’s good to be young, monsieur.”  
“A-Ah, I see. But I didn’t see the need for you to attack me all of a sudden with a piece of steak now inside my mouth?”  
Wiping the steak stain on his mouth with the table napkin, I just leaned in closer and kissed him lightly on the lips as my peace offering next.  
“Je suis désolé, monsieur. Forgive me, s'il vous plaît?”  
Namjoon then sliced his steak too, fed me a piece right into my mouth, and leaned in closer while kissing me lightly on the lips as well.  
“Okay, now we’re even mademoiselle. Good thing I love it when you go all French at me with those puppy gray eyes of yours.”  
 _*thump*_  
“Jeez, I-I’m adding monsieur steak to your nicknames from this very moment...!”  
The two of us fell to cheery laughter on cue as we continued having lunch. Even a simple meal can be so memorable as long we’re together.

“So, where are you taking me next mademoiselle?”  
After our lunch, I decided to take Namjoon to a surprise destination I had in mind.  
“You’ll know when we get there, monsieur.”  
“Is that so? Hmm... I’m curious now.”  
Stroking the back of his fluffy brown hair, I just poked his dimples telling him as we continued walking along,  
“I’m sure you’re going to be surprised once we get there.”

_Paris-Sorbonne University:  
Paris, France_

_BGM: Beautiful Night (Rainbow note)_  
“M-Mademoiselle, this is...”  
“Bienvenue! Welcome to my alma mater here in the _City of Love_ , monsieur dimples.”  
Namjoon glanced around the nostalgic university campus in my memories with wide eyes.  
“It’s breathtaking... wow...”  
“It’s not as prestigious as _Cambridge_ , but I still could remember how gruesome the written and oral exams were back when I decided to study here.”  
Squeezing my hand again with his, the two of us just looked at each other eye-to-eye as Namjoon leaned his forehead on mine saying,  
“Hush, my lady. Let me just tell you how much I appreciate the fact that you brought me to a place where it holds a lot of your memories. Memories from when we haven’t met yet.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Since you took me to _Cambridge_ back then, why wouldn’t I take you to my alma mater too especially when we’re here in Paris now?”  
“I know I’m not French but let me just say, _je t’aime_. _I love you_ , my mademoiselle Keira. _Je t’aime_.”  
When Namjoon said those simple little _French_ words that every person in France knows, it felt like I had fallen in love with my own language all over again thanks to one man.  
“Encore, je t'aime aussi my monsieur Joon.”  
He fondly kisses me on the lips on repeat that I had to tiptoe on my toes while wrapping my arms around his neck. To think, I would’ve never imagined to step foot into this place ever again. But... now, I’m happy I came along after all.

“Say mademoiselle, tell me.”  
“Hmm?”  
As I gave him a quick tour of the campus and even the arts and humanities building where I spent most of my time at back when I was a student, he made us pause from walking on cue.  
“Did you...?”  
“Did I what...?”  
Namjoon looked a bit confused of whether he should ask me something or not.  
“Tell me monsieur. I won’t know what’s bothering you if you won’t tell me, you know?”  
With a passing laugh, he then straightforwardly asked,  
“Okay fine, I’m just curious after all. Did you date anyone back when you were at university then, mademoiselle?”  
I couldn’t prevent myself from laughing at his question. Pinching his cheeks, I just replied,  
“Why? Would it bother you if I did?”  
“So? You’re admitting you did date someone back then?”  
Taking my hands off of his cheeks, he tightly held onto both of it while giving off such serious looking eyes directed at me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“Of course it would bother me if another man knew about a side of my mademoiselle Keira that I haven’t witnessed for myself.”  
And monsieur smooth talker strikes once again.  
“J-Jeez, you never run out of witty things to say, don’t you monsieur?”  
“For you? Never.”  
With a sigh, I finally had to raise the white flag since I couldn’t win over a lawyer any day. Not to mention, he’s a lawyer and the man I love altogether.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Fineeeeee, you win monsieur lawyer. Of course, nobody was able to catch my eye back in university plus... when you’re on a scholarship, love was definitely not a priority for me.”  
Smiling victoriously, Namjoon gave me a little kiss on the forehead saying,  
“That’s good to know then, my lady. I really am the lucky one.”  
“Hmph! How about you though? Don’t even tell me you weren’t making moves at someone back when you were at _Cambridge_?”  
Thinking to himself in silence for a few seconds, he then told me,  
“Oh, I remember I did.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?!”  
I did not expect that response at all.  
“We were very close too. Always spending one-on-one time with each other at the library. Do you want to know her name?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You naughty boy...! And to think I trusted you, hmph!”  
I was about to fling his hands away from mine, vexed of what I had heard with my own two ears but it was no use when he pulled me closer in one swoop and hugged me tightly around his lively embrace.  
“Someone is adorably jealous again...?”  
“Yes so? Hmph, the idea of another girl I have no clue of in your memories getting to hug the younger version of yourself agitates me...!”  
Namjoon laughed nonsensically at my reaction as he then drops at me,  
“Oh, you’re still going to be mad if the girl’s name was _constitutional law?_ Or even _statutory law?_ ”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“What...?”

I just stared at him dumbfounded like a little girl who threw a tantrum over something trivial. Kissing my right cheek, Namjoon just continued to chuckle saying,  
“Your reactions are forever priceless, mademoiselle. Haaa... you made me laugh so much.”  
“I made myself look like a crazy lunatic girlfriend right now, didn’t I?”  
Kissing my left cheek this time, he just patted me on the back of my head still holding back his laughter.  
“Goes to show how much my lady is crazy about me just as much as I am about her.”  
“Jeez, I don’t want no part of this conversation anymore.”  
As I was about to walk away from him, Namjoon just caught me in his usual _bear-like_ back hug telling me,  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry mademoiselle. Forgive me, please?”  
“Hmph. You’re lucky I love your back hugs or I would’ve elbowed you on the stomach already.”  
“I should call you mademoiselle feisty this time around.”  
Even if I was still a bit sulky because of what he just did, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling in the end because the things I haven’t felt when I was at this university before, especially the feeling of walking around campus with your special someone, was all coming to reality because Namjoon was here.

Just that simple truth was more than enough for me to see us _**getting lost in our memories**_.

 _BGM: Beautiful Night (Rainbow note) cont._  
It was already nighttime after Namjoon and I finished the tour I gave him of my alma mater. I continued telling him more stories from my university days as we were now at a local pub that I remember going to back then before I moved to London.  
“Let’s toast our wine glasses together for today, mademoiselle.”  
“Hmm? Why? What’s the special occasion monsieur?”  
As he poured more red wine into my glass, Namjoon smirked delightfully at me as he pressed another soft kiss on my lips saying,  
“The special occasion is getting to spend more time with you at the very city you were born at and made you the amazing woman you are now.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur... there you go again...”  
When I cupped his cheeks with both of my hands, he also followed suit and did the same thing as we peered straight into each other’s souls through our eyes.  
“Keira,”  
“Namjoon,”  
 _“I love you.”  
“I love you too.”_

_Sacred Heart Basilica of Montmartre: (Sacre-Coeur)  
Paris, France_

_BGM: A Starry Sky (GFRIEND)_  
“Our last stop for the day, monsieur.”  
“This esthetic place looks more of a castle than an actual church from the outside, mademoiselle.”  
I then explained to Namjoon a small part of the church’s history as we walked around the beautiful church. I don’t know why I preferred this church than _the Notre Dame_ , maybe because the view here is more magnificent.  
“It even has a stunning view of the _city of Paris and the Eiffel Tower_ if you reach the top of the church’s floors. Although... visitors aren’t allowed to go there of course.”  
“Do you believe in the belief that if it’s your first time at a church in another place or country, you have to kiss the floor if you make a wish so it’ll end up coming true?”  
The pure inquisition from Namjoon made me stop myself from giggling out of the blue because that was so unlike of him to say.  
“So even someone as logical as you are monsieur also believes in tall tales like that then? Vous êtes tellement mignon.”  
“I’m going to assume that whatever you said just now was a compliment in _French_. But, there’s no harm in believing little things like that right?”  
Standing on my tiptoes again, I just kissed Namjoon on his cheek with a soft chuckle telling him,  
“Just to tell you monsieur, you can just simply make a wish through a prayer every time you step into a church for the first time. No need to kiss the floor. Trust me.”  
“Do you want to go light a candle with me then mademoiselle?”  
I nodded happily of his suggestion.

After we lit up two candles and watched the little flames from the candles reflect in our eyesight, Namjoon then turned to me and asked,  
“Mademoiselle, did you make a wish even though it’s not your first time to visit here?”  
Facing him, I just said,  
“Of course. Just because I’ve visited this place already before, it doesn’t mean I’m not allowed anymore to make a wish through a simple prayer.”  
“Hmm... then, what did you wish for?”  
Shrugging, I feigned innocence and told him with an earnest smile,  
“I just wished that you, me, and the people important to us would continue to be healthy and happy for a long time.”  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
Stroking his cheeks, I then asked curiously,  
“How about you then monsieur? What was your very first wish to the candle you lit up?”  
The two of us gazed at each other momentarily in comforting silence before Namjoon said,  
“This is going to be the most unlikely thing that’s coming out of my own mouth but... I wish I could _marry you_ right here, right now mademoiselle.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
As I could only stare at him frozen and in disbelief, Namjoon just gave me a teasing grin inserting,  
“What would you say if I told you that then, my lady?”  
Ugh. Now I can’t tell if whether he had said that just to see me get flustered once again. With a slight pout, I replied,  
“I don’t see any ring and you not getting down on your one knee, so technically, it’s _null and void._ ”  
“Using my kind of law slang with me now huh?”  
Before I knew it, Namjoon just pulled me into his arms as I could only look up at him on cue.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“J-Joon,”  
“Would you even believe me if I wanted to marry you down on this church’s aisle even when you’re only wearing a black beret, your black trench coat hiding your pretty little black turtleneck sweater dress underneath, and your black heeled boots?”  
“Says the man who’s also wearing a matching black beret like mine, and a matching black turtleneck sweater too, plus you’re also in black cropped slacks, and black ankle boots, and even those black framed spectacles of yours that I adore? Although, your trench coat is brown instead of black... what is it with us going into couple looks lately?”  
“And you tell me I have the smart mouth, Keira.”  
I winced the moment he then kisses me on the lips without fair warning again.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“J-Jeez, can you stop switching from monsieur dimples to monsieur smooth talker so quickly?”  
“Say _‘I do,’_ and I’ll think about it mademoiselle.”  
Hitting him on his chest, I just told him,  
“Ask me again when you have a ring and you’re ready to get down on one knee monsieur, then I’ll also reconsider your proposition.”  
“Noted then, my lady. For now, I’ll just take that as your promise for me in the future. And I’ll take this as proof of agreement to our negotiation.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
Completely catching me off guard, Namjoon places both of his big hands at the back of my head as he then gave me the longest, but most divine kiss on the lips to ever happen between the two of us since we went steady. Moreover, it didn’t help too that his tongue found mine in the most flawless timing possible.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-mmm... a-aaah, m-monsieur...”  
“I promise to love you and only you, _forevermore_ , my lady, my mademoiselle, my Keira.”  
As he lets me take a quick breath of air, he whispered those simple but resolute words that got me, my entire body, my entire heart, and my entire soul quiver before he continued on with the most breathless kiss between him and I.  
 _“Forevermore...”  
“God, I promise to love him and only him, always, my monsieur flower destroyer, my monsieur dimples, my monsieur lawyer, my monsieur Joon, my Namjoon.”_  
I just wrapped my arms around his neck tightly as I let a few of my tears stream down my face, becoming the most undeniable proof of my overflowing feelings for one man himself.

In that very moment in time, I prayed that even through all the good and bad that was about to come our way, nothing... absolutely nothing would get in between Namjoon and I.  
 ** _Not even fate itself._**

_The next day:  
Almost noon time  
Inside the courthouse in Paris, France_

“Monsieur Kim, merci for coming here at this busy time of the year. We’ll have it done by the end of the week.”  
“Ça va. It’s okay with me, monsieur. Madame sends her regards too.”  
When I finally found Namjoon at the courthouse after his legal consultation had ended, I was hesitating whether to come up to him or not since he was talking to a fellow lawyer of his at the moment.  
“Your French is really good, Monsieur Kim. Did you by chance study the language?”  
“Let’s just say, I have a very good teacher when it comes to French.”  
Yet, the minute he caught me staring at them, I had no choice but to approach them as Namjoon gestured for me to come over.  
“You’re finally here, mademoiselle.”  
“Yes, did you wait long?”  
“No, no. You’re just in time.”  
Shaking his head, I sighed in relief before I then turned to the person he was talking to and politely gave him a smile.  
“Bonjour monsieur.”  
“Oh, bonjour. Who is this lovely mademoiselle, Monsieur Kim?”  
Wrapping his arm around my waist, Namjoon then introduced me.  
“She’s no other than my expert French teacher monsieur, and I have the privilege of calling my _‘mon amour’_ as you all would say.”  
“Je m'appelle Miss Keira, monsieur.”  
After we exchanged pleasantries, his fellow lawyer then glanced at Namjoon standing beside me and said,  
“Monsieur Kim, you sneak. How did you even pull off an amazing mademoiselle like her? Not only that she’s a well known author but she’s French as well?”  
“I ask myself the same thing sometimes, monsieur. How did you even know she’s French too though?”  
Slightly chuckling, I just answered,  
“You can tell someone’s born French from the accent obviously, ai-je raison monsieur?”  
“Évidemment, mademoiselle.”  
Namjoon just looked puzzlingly at us saying,  
“Okay, okay. No need to go all French on me now, both of you. I don’t like feeling left out from the conversation.”  
“Oh sorry, monsieur Joon. It’s just out of habit I guess.”

After a few more passing talks, we bid his fellow lawyer farewell as we exited the courthouse. Namjoon then went closer and whispered in my left ear while we were making our way downstairs,  
“By the way, he taught me a new perfect way to call you... _mon chéri_.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My chest pounded on cue like an idiot over that little endearing nickname that then rolled off of his heavenly deep voice.  
“T-That’s really against the rules, monsieur dimples...”  
I just told him with a quick peck on the lips while also trying my hardest not to flush in shyness.

_Half an hour later...  
along Champs-Élysées:_

_BGM: Dear Diary (YERI)_  
Namjoon and I were near a traditional French cafe that I was familiar with as I then asked him,  
“Monsieur, how do you know about this place?”  
Squeezing my hand, he just told me,  
“Ah, I forgot to mention mademoiselle, we’re going to be having lunch with one of my close seniors back at _Cambridge_. He happens to be in Paris too for the time being.”  
“Oh? A close senior of yours? Are you sure it’s okay for me to tag along then? I don’t mind if you want to have one-on-one time with him.”  
Namjoon just chuckled at my back-to-back questions as he kissed me instantly on the forehead saying,  
“Of course you have to come with me, how am I going to introduce my _mon chéri_ if you don’t tag along?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Hmm... you’re really going to keep calling me that then huh, monsieur dimples?”  
“Oui, _mon chéri_. It just feels perfect every time it rolls off my tongue.”  
Avoiding my cheeks from turning pink, I just pinched Namjoon on his nose telling him as we were about to enter the cafe,  
“J-Jeez, the way you speak simple French with that English accent of yours is making me swoon over you even more than I already am monsieur.”  
“Is that so? I don’t mind you swooning over me even harder, _mon chéri_.”

As we both entered the cafe, I was about to stop him from his nonstop coquettish remarks before we heard a deep voice echo in our hearings right on cue going,  
“A-Ah! Over here, Namjoon-ah...!”  
The moment Namjoon heard the man’s voice, his face turned to a delighted smile as soon as both of their brown eyes then met.

“It’s so good to see you again, Namjoon-ah.”  
“The feeling is mutual, Jin _hyung_.”  
The two _tall and handsome_ men exchanged elated hugs with each other that it got all the ladies in the cafe to steal glances at them. Namjoon’s gorgeous senior then found my gray gaze and asked me with a charming smile as he extended his right hand out to me,  
“So, you must be the pretty lady that managed to captivate Namjoon’s heart? It’s an honor to finally meet you personally since you’re the only person he wouldn’t stop talking about in our telegrams.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“H-Hey Jin _hyung_ , don’t give her any weird ideas. Mademoiselle, don’t pay too much thought to whatever he says.”  
“Hey, I’m your _hyung_ remember? Why are you suddenly acting like you’re the older one just because you have an adorable _lover_ now huh?”  
I couldn’t help but chuckle at how I’m seeing Namjoon’s silly side coming out all of a sudden. It was obvious that the person named Jin is indeed someone very close to him.  
“Bonjour monsieur Jin. Je m'appelle Miss Keira. My name is Miss Keira. It’s really nice to meet you.”  
Jin blinked at my unexpected introduction after we finally exchanged handshakes before he turned suspiciously to Namjoon asking,  
“Hey, how did you even snatch yourself a beautiful French lady like Keira-ssi you sneak?”  
“T-That’s not important Jin _hyung_...!”  
It felt refreshing to see Namjoon’s flustered expressions. He just sighed next before he turned to me and said,  
“Mademoiselle, I don’t want to delay introducing this guy already so I’ll just get it over with. He’s _Seokjin Kim_. A close senior of mine back when I was at _Cambridge_.”  
“What kind of introduction is that huh? Anyway, don’t worry Keira-ssi. He’s just acting like this because he doesn’t want to lose face, especially if he’s with you.”  
“H-Hey _hyung_ , stop that!”  
After the not-so formal but bright pleasantries, I just hid a soft laugh to myself before the three of us sat down together and ordered for lunch.

“Monsieur Jin, may I ask if you’re a lawyer too?”  
“Keira-ssi, please don’t be so formal with me. And to answer your question, no. I was from a different department than Namjoon-ah back in _Cambridge_... but wait, It’s the first time I’m having someone call me monsieur too. Your accent is fascinating.”  
 _*thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
Namjoon then immediately cuts off the conversation by saying,  
“Hyung, as much as I like and respect you, stop being coy with my mademoiselle. And she calls me monsieur too. Mademoiselle, don’t fall for his charming and handsome face. That’s how hyung gets women to fall for him.”  
“Monsieur dimples, you do realize what you’re saying just spells out being jealous right now?”  
The man named Seokjin couldn’t stop himself from laughing as he then without hesitation said,  
“Monsieur dimples? What’s with the dainty nickname? Keira-ssi, just so you know, if he’s letting you call him like that, it really means he’s enamored with you. In fact, you’re the first person I’ve ever seen and heard to call him with such nicknames, nobody would dare to call him endearingly back when we were at _Cambridge_ together.”  
“Jin hyung really... please just stop...”  
Laughing a bit, Namjoon and I then caught each other’s gazes instantly. He just playfully poked my nose before pecking me shortly on the lips saying,  
“Well, he’s not lying though. You’re also just as enamored with me as I am with you, right mademoiselle?”  
 _*thump*_  
“Hmph, how am I supposed to say no to you monsieur lawyer?”  
Seokjin then didn’t hold back and said with a somber sigh,  
“Um, I’m still here. Some of us are single, you know.”  
Namjoon and I stifled out a laugh along with him. The two of them would then talk about their fond memories from the past. Feeling curious, I asked politely,  
“Monsieur Jin, does _‘hyung’_ mean senior in Korean language?”  
He and Namjoon exchanged glances at each other as the former nodded.  
“Somewhat in that line, Keira-ssi. It usually refers to older brother from a male perspective in our language. Haven’t you heard Namjoon speak _Korean_ then?”  
“No? He usually speaks to me in English ever since we met? I feel betrayed all of a sudden.”  
I shot him a feigned glare as we were sitting right beside each other while Seokjin was seated across us.  
“Oh, I’m sorry mademoiselle. I didn’t think you’d be interested in hearing me speak in _Korean_ though?”  
“Hmph. If we didn’t meet up with monsieur Jin, I wouldn’t even be aware of this vital piece of information monsieur?”  
Taking my right hand, he just stroked it warmly with his fingers saying,  
“Fine, if you want me to teach you, I’d be more willing to do so. You’re one overly curious mademoiselle, aren’t you?”  
“Of course. Since you keep telling me that you love hearing me speak in French, I also want to hear you speak in your first language.”  
As we were stuck in our own little world again, Seokjin had to let out a tiny cough to snap us both back.  
“I should’ve expected that I’d be a third wheeler the moment I had asked Namjoon-ah to meet up with you in our lastly exchanged telegram.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Je suis désolé monsieur Jin! We didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable...”  
Namjoon laughed a bit at my reaction as he just teases Seokjin more by kissing the back of my right hand that he was holding and said,  
“Ah, don’t worry about Jin hyung, mademoiselle. He knew what he was in for the second he invited you and me together.”  
“J-Jeez, monsieur Joon. Don’t tease your senior like that so much. It’s amazing by the way how you two have the same last names! You two can be mistaken as _brothers_.”  
Both of them then chuckled at what I had to say before our food had finally arrived.

“So, Jin hyung, what brings you to Paris?”  
While we were in the middle of our meal, Namjoon didn’t hesitate to ask Seokjin whatever came to his mind.  
“Let’s just say, I have some important things to take care of here before I move to _Italy_ in a few days from now.”  
“Wow, _Italy_ huh? Are you going to be staying in _Rome_ then, monsieur Jin?”  
Shaking his head, he crossed his arms and thought to himself deeply for a few passing seconds before saying,  
“I was planning to do so Keira-ssi, but I’m still undecided yet. Do you have any suggestions?”  
“Hmm... let’s see, _Verona_ is one of the most beautiful cities in Italy. But since you’re moving in the winter, _Venice_ is so picturesque as well monsieur!”  
As I was giving Seokjin more information about Italy, Namjoon then jokingly said out of the blue,  
“Jin hyung, what if you meet the woman who’ll finally steal your heart once you move to Italy?”  
“Ha? You’re supposed to be the more logical one between us Namjoon-ah. What are you suddenly blabbering about?”  
Following what Namjoon just said, I seconded,  
“You have no idea how superstitious monsieur actually is, monsieur Jin. He literally asked me while we were at a church here in Paris if it’s true that you have to kiss the floor if you want to make a first wish come true,”  
“He did? I guess there is a first time for everything.”  
“Mademoiselle, that was supposed to be our little secret...”  
With a smile taking over my lips, I just gazed at Namjoon’s deep brown eyes for a few seconds before continuing,  
“But... you’ll never know, monsieur Jin. Your **_the one_** may just be around the corner.”  
“I can see now why Namjoon-ah adores you so much, Keira-ssi.”  
Returning my gaze, he then leans closer and plants a soft kiss on my right cheek saying with an impish grin,  
“That’s just how much of an effect this mademoiselle has on me, Jin hyung.”

After our enjoyable lunch together with Seokjin, we bid him goodbye in the early afternoon since he had somewhere else to be.  
“It was really lovely to meet you today, Keira-ssi... or should I say, mademoiselle Keira?”  
“The feeling is mutual as well, monsieur Jin.”  
Being polite, he then gave me an amiable hug that Namjoon could only say,  
“Jin hyung, don’t you start calling her so zealously like that just because she’s letting you do so.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...!”  
Seokjin’s laugh echoed once again as the three of us were now standing by the sidewalk as Namjoon wrapped his arm around my waist.  
“I can’t believe I got to witness for the first time in all these years we’ve known each other you getting so cutely protective over someone else aside from your family, Namjoon-ah.”  
“Monsieur Jin...”  
Catching Namjoon’s gaze, he just said to his close senior before meeting his brown eyes back on my gray ones,  
“You’ll understand that feeling once you find your _**the one**_ , trust me Jin hyung. Then I’ll be the one laughing at your reactions too soon.”  
Seokjin just said to us lastly before leaving the scene and escaped to the other direction with a handsome grin and wink,  
“If it’s a woman like mademoiselle Keira, then who knows, right? Until next time then my darling lovers.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
“H-Hey, Jin hyung...!”

Still feeling bewildered of what just happened, it was no use of us stopping him since he was swiftly gone from our sights next. I could only giggle while Namjoon sighed saying as he looked intensely at me out of the blue,  
“That hyung really... did you suddenly fall for him, _mon chéri?_ ”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Ne sois pas idiot. Don’t be silly, monsieur. Why would you even ask me something like that?”  
Namjoon could only scratch the back of his head in slight embarrassment as he confessed to me,  
“Well... let’s just say that’s how Jin hyung makes himself drawn to women. Even while we were back in _Cambridge_ together, he’s known as the _lady killer senior_ at the university.”  
I see now. I just smiled at him and caressed both sides of his cheeks and tiptoed to kiss him on his lips saying in all honesty,  
“Hmm... I guess he has that ravishing aura around him, but why would I look at another man when I already have someone as charismatic like you my monsieur Joon?”  
“Haaaa... I just love you very much _mon chéri_ , that even being protective over you is like second nature to me now.”  
He returned another kiss on my lips before taking my hand as we headed on our way.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re just giving me more reasons to love all of different sides of yours, monsieur dimples.”

_Later that afternoon:  
Le Marais  
Paris, France_

_BGM: Whisper (Girls’ Generation — TTS)_  
“Look, monsieur.”  
“Oh?”  
After our afternoon tea and coffee, we were both exploring freely around _Le Marais_ together. With lots of vintage looking cafes and boutiques, we were just continuing to enjoy our time and then we spotted something that then immediately caught our attention.  
“It’s nostalgic to see street painters even in this part of the city, monsieur.”  
“Should we do one together then?”  
I was baffled a little bit at Namjoon’s suggestion.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Really? You don’t find it _cliche_ in any way?”  
He just pressed a short kiss on my cheeks and said while tightly gripping onto my hand before leading us to one of the painters and told me,  
“I’m only going to act like a cliche, smitten fool for you, mademoiselle. Only for you, _mon chéri_.”  
“Real smooth, monsieur smooth talker.”

“Tata, est-ce que tu nous peins?”  
“Oui bien sûr, jolie mademoiselle!”  
We approached a smiling middle-aged auntie who didn’t hesitate to say yes if she was willing to sketch Namjoon and I.  
“Mademoiselle, she said yes then? That’s the only thing I could understand from your conversation.”  
“Oui, monsieur Joon.”  
I just chuckled at his always impressed expression whenever I talk in French. The auntie then asked us to sit together on the bench that was meant for couples saying with a loving smile,  
“Mademoiselle, vous avez l'air bien ensemble.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Merci, tata...”  
Namjoon then on cue noticed the shift on my face’s reaction as I could feel the heat going straight to my cheeks from what she said.  
“Don’t tell me she said something like we look cute together or something within that line?”  
“H-How did you know?”  
Pinching my nose, he just chuckled telling me,  
“It’s obvious especially when you go blushing rosy pink on those soft cheeks of yours, _mon chéri_.”  
“J-Jeez, you’re going to be even more dangerous if you were to become fluent in French, monsieur dimples.”  
The auntie could only snicker to herself as she continued watching us act like lovesick clinging fools.

“You two really complement together, monsieur, mademoiselle.”  
The two of us stared at her wide-eyed when she spoke in English surprisingly.  
“Y-You can speak English all along, auntie?”  
She nodded innocently as she continued brushing along her paintbrush on the canvas.  
“Yes, that’s why I couldn’t help but laugh heartily at your conversation just now. I take it you mademoiselle are from here? Whilst you monsieur aren’t?”  
Namjoon then played along and said,  
“Is it because I don’t have the accent of most French men then?”  
Auntie nodded and turned her gaze towards mine saying,  
“He doesn’t have the French accent, but his English accent is more to your liking, right mademoiselle?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Arrête de m'exposer, tata.”  
(Stop exposing me, auntie)  
“Ton secret est en sécurité avec moi, mademoiselle.”  
(Your secret’s safe with me, miss)  
As I then quickly switched back to speaking my native language shyly while feeling bewildered because of what auntie said, Namjoon then cupped my cheeks with his big hands asking,  
“Hey, don’t leave me out of the conversation _mon chéri_. What did you two just say to each other mademoiselle?”  
“J-Jeez! You don’t have to know monsieur...!”  
“Oh? Is that so?”  
Before I could even react next, Namjoon just pulled me closer to his side in one swoop motion on the bench and pressed his lips on mine, giving me a mesmeric smirk in between.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mmm... n-not here monsieur...!”  
“A little punishment for keeping a little secret from me, my lady.”  
As Namjoon kept going with his heart-fluttering innuendos, auntie just told us lastly with a laugh while she resumed her painted sketch of us.  
“Oh vraiment, get a room you two. You two are too sweet that I feel like ants are going to crawl and appear any second now.”

“I’m going to hang this on my apartment room when we get back to London.”  
“It’s too beautiful for words, mademoiselle. Wish she would’ve let us pay for it at the least.”  
The painting sketch we got from auntie was the most memorable proof of our stay here in Paris together. And to think she sketched Namjoon and I leaning on to each other’s foreheads while smiling eye-to-eye with his arms wrapped around my waist and mine were around his neck.  
“No, no don’t worry monsieur and mademoiselle. Take this as a souvenir from me instead. You two were really a breath of warm air in this cold winter. J'espère que vous resterez toujours heureux!”  
The two of us just remembered what she had said lastly to us a few moments ago.  
“What was auntie’s last words though, mademoiselle?”  
Pecking Namjoon’s lips, I just told him while holding on tightly to the canvas in my hands,  
“I hope you two remain happy always.”  
“I have a crazy idea, are you up for it _mon chéri?_ ”  
As he returned the kiss on my lips, I nodded excitedly.  
“Yes, of course! What do you have in mind my monsieur dimples?”  
Gently taking the canvas from me, he then took me by the hand and said with a playful grin,  
“Let’s go buy her a gift from that antique shop we passed by a while ago?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“And you tell me I’m the mind reader! But... that sounds perfect. Let’s go!”

 _BGM: What should I do (CLC)_  
“How about this mademoiselle?”  
“Ah! I like it!”  
Namjoon and I stared in admiration at the antique watercolor paint blocks and makers that looked perfect to give to that auntie as our appreciation for the sketch she had given to us.  
“I’ll go pay for it, _mon chéri_. You can continue to look around in case you want something for yourself too.”  
“Merci, monsieur Joon.”  
He just gave me a brief kiss on the forehead before I watched his back walk to the cashier to go pay for the watercolors.  
“Hmm... there are so many retro-themed clocks, calendars, and trinkets here... I wonder if monsieur won’t mind me adding a _phonograph_ in his apartment?”  
Just imagining Namjoon and I dancing slowly to the slow music of his vinyls in his apartment made me smile silly to myself but then,  
“Merci, Madame. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you here.”  
“Well, you know... j'ai été occupé ces derniers temps. I’ve just been real busy lately.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“T-That voice...”_  
I could recognize that voice that almost made my breathing halt and my whole body freeze.  
 _“Keira, ma chérie, I’m not going to call you ma fille, my daughter anymore from now on.”_  
Right at that very second, I felt my chest squeeze so tightly in pain as I tried to feign not staring at that familiar person’s silhouette as she walked out of the shop.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“It... it couldn’t be her right... I... I must’ve been seeing things... yes... it’s just my imagination... ne pense pas trop...”  
Trying to convince myself that I was hallucinating because I may have happened to see that person buried deep in my memories haunting me all over again when I’m happy now, I then ran out of the vintage shop and glanced at both directions to see if my gut feelings were right or not. Yet, I may have been a bit too late already since only unfamiliar faces were all I saw.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ _Mère_... w-was it really you?”  
I still could feel my whole body tremble as that person’s voice started echoing inside my head that I couldn’t easily shake off. The hurt still felt so raw like a new bleeding cut.  
“...”  
“Mademoiselle? Where are you?”  
With Namjoon’s soothing voice bringing me back to my still turbulent thoughts, as soon as I caught sight of those deep brown eyes of his, I had to stop myself from shaking instantly because the last thing I want is for him to worry about me when he’s been nothing but a ray of sunshine in my inner storms.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“Keira... please... don’t make him worried. Get a grip on yourself. You can do this...”_  
As my innermost thoughts pleaded with me, I just took a deep breath in and out trying to smile my hardest without him noticing.  
“Nous saluons le retour, my monsieur Joon.”  
“I expected you to go buy something, but I find you waiting for me here outside. Merci for waiting for me then.”  
Carrying the paper bag in his left hand, Namjoon leans in closer and kissed me on my right cheek which instantly made my nerves relax.  
“Why does it feel like you’ve seen a ghost while I was gone? You’re a little pale?”  
A ghost huh?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yeah, you could say that. Would you believe me if I did see one though?”  
Taking my hand, all Namjoon said next was,  
“Why wouldn’t I believe you then, my mademoiselle Keira?”  
“M-Monsieur Joon...”  
Planting a kiss on the back of my hand he was holding, he led both of us to continue walking while not averting his lulling eyes from mine.  
“Come, let’s go and buy some gift wrapping paper mademoiselle.”  
Slowly, thanks to the very presence of the man holding on to my hand and looking at me with those reassuring gaze of his, I was going back to my less stormy thoughts.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“No words are really enough to thank you for just being your usual self with me, my monsieur Joon...”_

 _A little while later..._  
“Monsieur, what do you think?”  
“That has a really pretty color, your taste is good as always, mademoiselle.”  
We found a nearby cushy-looking stationery shop and looked around for gift wrapping paper. With my thoughts avoiding any recall of what happened a few moments ago, I was relieved that Namjoon didn’t seem to notice. I don’t want him worrying over the littlest of my personal problems. I’m already troubling him with a lot of other things. I don’t ever want to become a bothersome partner for him.  
“...”  
“ _Mon chéri_ , is everything alright?”  
“A-Ah, yes of course. What made you think otherwise?”  
Stroking my cheek with his right hand, Namjoon sighed softly and said while gazing so honestly into my gray eyes,  
“I’m just getting this odd feeling that even if you’re standing here right beside me, your mind and heart is somewhere else at the moment.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
Gently grabbing the gift wrapping paper from my hands, Namjoon just kissed me lightly on my lips before telling me with a heartfelt smile,  
“If you think I haven’t noticed the way you looked into the distance ever since we came in here, just know that I’ll always be here to listen mademoiselle or if you just want somebody around.”  
“J-Joon...”  
“I’ll be right back and go pay, okay?”  
Nodding, I was still stumped of how Namjoon was able to notice at all. I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it, but it seems... hiding anything from him is futile. Sighing, I just continued to distract myself with the colorful stationery when,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
The same painful, squeeze inside my chest took over me the very minute I glanced outside of the shop’s glass windows, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking at those same, haunting gray eyes that I had just buried in my deepest thoughts. It wasn’t a hallucination anymore.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Mère...”  
Without hesitation, I then ran straight out of the stationery shop before I heard Namjoon’s voice echo going,  
“Mademoiselle?! W-Wait...! Ah oui, merci!”

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
As I ran and passed through the different sets of unknown faces roaming around, my heart’s beating still continued to feel the most unsettled as I followed only one person’s silhouette.  
“M-Mère...!”  
Gathering the last of my courage even if I was still heavily shuddering whether it was her or not, I just shouted loud enough to call out that person. However, the first attempt had no effect. Feeling my frustration sink in, I clenched both of my hands into fists and yelled for the second time,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mother...!”  
The moment I said that simple word, it made that person stop on her feet yet as soon as she glanced back to look at where the yelling was coming from, that woman with the _same gray eyes like mine_ whom I had thought was only a figment of my imagination, but turned out to be the most real proof of my worse reality coming to life, just looked at me silently with the most dismal facial expression on her face.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“You’re not my and our daughter anymore, Keira. Ne reviens pas.”_  
It felt like she was saying those cruel things through those grim eyes of hers from a distance. After only a few passing seconds, she then didn’t falter and turned her back at me, like a bitter deja vu, and went on her way without a word.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Mère...!”  
It felt like the pain from what happened those long five years had resurfaced... no, I’m wrong... it felt like the pain all these years hadn’t left me at all. Tears then started streaming down my eyes on cue. My heart couldn’t stop the tears any longer.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why... w-why... p-pourquoi...”  
“K-Keira...!”  
When that one deep voice which was then carried along by the winter breeze echoed my hearing next, I didn’t have the courage anymore to hide my tears as I just stared at his running figure with those brown eyes of his turning so distressed, the kind of expression I didn’t ever want to see him make for me.  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Letting the rest of my tears drop to the cold ground, I couldn’t let Namjoon see me in such a wrecked state that I had no choice of what I was about to do next.  
“I... I’m sorry my monsieur Joon...”  
Before he could catch up to me, I ran. Instead of running to his arms, I ran to the opposite direction which was away from him. I ran away like a coward.  
“K-Keira...! M-Mademoiselle...! M-Mon chéri...! W-Wait...!”  
Even no matter how many times Namjoon called out to me, no matter how many times I badly wanted to be in his embrace right now, I didn’t look back. I continued running.

I continued running alone under the twilight of the winter sky in _Paris_.

_Evening of the same day:  
By the garden below the Eiffel Tower  
Paris, France_

_BGM: Only U (Girls Generation — TTS)_  
 _“Ne reviens plus. Don’t come back anymore, Keira.”  
“You’re not our daughter anymore, comprendre?”  
“Mademoiselle, you know that I’ll always be here for you right?”_  
I don’t know how I found myself here near the _Eiffel Tower_ itself. I don’t know how I ended up running to this place. Maybe because this place was like a little safe haven to me back then. Whenever I needed to be alone, I always found myself coming here.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“K-Keira...!”_  
Even if I was alone now, Namjoon’s worried voice still continued to linger inside my mind. With no ways of communicating with each other, I had no expectations of him coming to find me here.  
“I’m... I’m sorry for doing that to you monsieur...”  
I wouldn’t be surprised if Namjoon didn’t speak to me anymore after what had just happened. I wouldn’t be surprised the moment I go back to our hotel, he wasn’t there anymore.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“But... even though I said I wouldn’t be surprised... why does it hurt just the same? W-Would I really be okay if Namjoon did turn his back at me like they did?”  
Sobbing to myself even more just at those thoughts, every joyous memory became crumpled in a matter of hours because of the harsh reality that came tumbling down.  
“N-Nothing is really permanent as everyone says... e-even happiness itself...”  
I just looked up at the luminous _Eiffel Tower_ in front of my still teared-up sight and feigned a smile to myself as I felt another excruciating thump coming from chest saying,  
“Looks like visiting the tower with the love of my life in the _City of Love_ won’t come true now huh...?”  
I continued to cry pathetically to myself on the bench under the withered spring blossom tree.

“K-Keira...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I don’t know if I was starting to hear things or not, but the one voice I didn’t foresee to echo at all seemed to be the only thing audible enough for me to notice.  
“?!”  
And right then and there, the _tall, dark, and handsome_ silhouette with the _dark brown eyes_ that I hold dearly so much stood away from me at a close distance. I could hear his heavy breathing and see the sweat all over his beautiful face even when it was cold.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
With my face still overly swollen from all the crying I did for the past hours, Namjoon didn’t utter a word and just ran to my side before he wrapped me in his snug arms. His embrace made me shiver, but it was the kind of good shivers that comforted me.  
“I... I finally found you... I found you, my lady.”  
Without holding back anymore, I wrapped my arms around his back tightly and buried my face into his chest before crying so hard like a little girl as his big, warm hands stroked me at the back of my hair saying,  
“Keira, I’m here... that’s why, don’t hold yourself back anymore... don’t... don’t hold anything back from me... not even your tears because I’ll be here.”  
“J-Joon... I... I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”  
“Sssh, don’t _mon chéri_... just let it all out... take your time.”  
And just with those magic words, I did what I was told and sobbed like never before for the first time in the arms of my most important person who found me once again in the eye of my never-ending storms, in the most unexpected way possible.

“H-How did you find me here, monsieur Joon?”  
As he wiped my tears, Namjoon kissed both of my eyelids and said while cupping my cheeks,  
“As _cliche_ as this sounds, I will always find a way to find you, my lady. I did _promise_ to stay by your side no matter what happens, right?”  
Smiling at his ever sincere words, I told him,  
“Just like the saying, **_you’ll always find your way back home_** , right?”  
Kissing me gingerly next on the lips, the words that then came out of Namjoon’s mouth made me quiver from head to toe.  
 ** _“You are my home, Keira.”_**  
“J-Joon...”  
Replying with another careful kiss, I then wrapped my arms around his neck and confessed,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“To be really honest... I didn’t know how I was going to tell you when I happened to see that person back at the vintage shop... I... I didn’t want you to worry especially when it’s your first time here at my home city... I didn’t want my own problems to become a burden for you in any way...”  
Patting me on my back, Namjoon then said to me,  
“I’m sorry if I didn’t notice how much you were hurting already back there, mademoiselle.”  
I was taken aback when he apologized when in fact he didn’t do anything wrong. Releasing my embrace around his neck, I then placed my hand on his cheek and looked yearningly into his eyes saying,  
“No... please don’t apologize monsieur. I’m... I’m actually very happy that you acted like usual even when you knew I was feeling troubled and you tried to cheer me up in your own way.”  
“Keira, don’t ever think that just because I’m acting like it doesn’t affect me, it hurts seeing you keeping everything to yourself. It really, really does. It’s the same feeling I get when I see _someone guilty being judged as innocent_. That’s why when you started running and I couldn’t catch up to you, I felt pathetic to call myself your partner when I couldn’t even console your tears at a time you needed me the most.”  
Cupping my hand that was still on his cheek, I let a few tears stream down my eyes before telling Namjoon,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m sorry if I made you feel like that, Joon... I’m sorry if I doubted that you too would somehow turn your back at me just like they did. I’m sorry I ran away from you back there...”  
Placing his hands on my neck, Namjoon goes closer and kisses me on the lips again, but a little bit more longer and dearly this time.  
“Didn’t I tell you back at the church that I will you love you _forevermore_ , through all the worse and the better that’s going to happen? Wherever you are, I’ll be by your side. Because I’m keeping due of my very promise to you when I asked you to be mine. _To be my mademoiselle_.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Tu es tout pour moi, my monsieur dimples. You really are everything to me, monsieur Joon.”  
“As you are to me, _mon chéri._ ”  
Feeling his warm lips against mine on repeat, Namjoon and I then gazed at the brilliant _Eiffel Tower_ near our sight as he lets my head rest on his calmly beating chest whilst his arms still hugged me strongly around my waist.  
“I’m glad the _Eiffel Tower_ was the reason that guided me back to you, mademoiselle.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I’ll save that story for another time, my lady. I’m just thankful that I found you. _And I always will._ ”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Even if our visit to this magnificent tower was somewhat accidental, to me, this was the one memory I will never fail to remember. It wasn’t a pleasant one at first, but somehow... the very moment I heard and saw Namjoon calling out my name with the tower in the background, it ended up becoming the _most prominent_ memory.  
 _“And I always will.”_  
And with that sentence alone, the haunting echoes of those voices from my innermost thoughts didn’t matter to me anymore. Not when all that matters is sitting right beside me, who was holding on to my hand and never had any intention of letting it go.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Et je t'aimerai toujours, my monsieur Joon.”  
Before we even both knew it, the _first snow in Paris_ started falling from the night sky.

 _BGM: Only 1 (GFRIEND)_  
“You don’t have to do this though, monsieur. And I’m heavy too...”  
“Hush, just let me. Didn’t you tell me before that you always wanted to do this?”  
As Namjoon and I were making our way back to the hotel, he gave me a piggyback ride on his broad and ever capable back. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck while my head rested on his right shoulder and his big hands carefully held me tight on both legs.  
“You’re really like a human hand warmer, monsieur dimples... you feel so warm like hot chocolate... and your woody scent is really calming... j'aime tout de toi...”  
I whispered and kissed him on his right earlobe which made him flinch a little as he said,  
“Don’t be unfair now my lady, or I won’t hesitate to switch this piggyback into a princess carry.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You wouldn’t?”  
When our eyes locked into each other’s, Namjoon just flashed me his usual charming grin and told me while bringing the tip of our noses to a close,  
“You know I would. Just for you”.  
I couldn’t help but let out a hearty chuckle as I pressed my lips on his under the snowy, late night sky in Paris.  
“ _Je t’aime_ , my monsieur Joon.”  
“ _Saranghanda_ , my mademoiselle Keira.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Thump, thump went my heart the moment I heard an unknown, but somewhat familiar word rolling off of Namjoon’s lips.  
“M-Monsieur, did you just...?”  
“Yes, I’m telling you _I love you_ in _Korean_.”  
I just hugged him firmly around my arms as he continued walking while I told him,  
“ _I love you_ is the first thing you tell me in your native language huh? Je ne te mérite vraiment pas... I really don’t deserve you, monsieur Joon.”

 _A little while later,_  
The second we made it back to our hotel and to our room, Namjoon and I couldn’t keep our hands off of each other on cue as I hurriedly took off his grey chesterfield coat and he took off my white trench coat, black gloves, and black pillbox hat.  
“M-Mmmm... a-aaah... m-monsieur...”  
“Sssh... don’t talk too much _mon chéri_... let me just kiss you right now...”  
As both of our coats and my accessories plop to the floor, Namjoon’s lips continued to communicate both roughly and gently altogether with mine while my fingers ran through his ever perfect smooth hair.  
“M-Mademoiselle, open your mouth for me please...”  
“A-Attendre... wait... take these off first... don’t want them breaking, wouldn’t we?”  
I then took off his spectacles as he just gives me a devilish smile saying before he meets up with my lips again,  
“Always so careful you are, my Keira... now come here.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-mmph...!”  
Even if Namjoon wasn’t French, he really knew how to give a real swooning _French kiss_. It was as if our tongues were just made perfectly for each other. Every kiss we shared was just so electrifying. He really gave me no room to breathe.  
“H-Haaa... h-aaa... J-Joon... s'il vous plaît...”  
“Y-Your lips always taste so sweet my lady... it’s so addicting...”  
Before we knew it, he led us both to the bathroom. Namjoon made me sit up on the sink as he continued kissing me all over that I could sigh dreamily the minute he reaches my neckline.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“Y-Your sweating neck is really making your perfume stand out so much _mon chéri_... damn, you’re intoxicating...”  
I squealed the second he playfully bites me in the same exact places he kisses me.  
“A-aah...! Ne t'arrête pas...!”  
“That’s only a little appetizer, mademoiselle...”  
Namjoon didn’t hesitate next to take off my white pumps heels and lifted up my dress’ skirt to massage my thighs and my most sensitive spot that it made me yelp on cue as his lips still hadn’t left mine.  
“M-Monsieur...!”  
“I am going to make you feel absolutely beautiful tonight, Keira. Even if for only one night, I will help you forget all the hurt you’re feeling.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“J-Joon...”  
With our eyes locked and hands locked with each other’s, both gray and brown, I just nodded with a smile as I felt a bit of dry tears forming around the corners of my eyes.  
“K-Keira,”  
“I’d always be honored, my monsieur... prends soin de moi s'il te plait...”

Namjoon wiped my tears on cue and pecked me in the same places where my tears had landed before he proceeded to undress me out of my grey knitted dress by the sink that I was only left in my underwear.  
“Monsieur...”  
“I will continue kissing you now okay, my beautiful mademoiselle?”  
Nodding, I let him kiss me in all the places that I love feeling his warm lips on. In between the sweet kisses, he’d bite me when he gets a little bit aggressive. I’m going to end up with so many hickeys the next day.  
“J-Joon... q-quelqu'un est agressif... s-someone’s being aggressive tonight...?”  
“Hmm... how can I not when you look at me so enticingly like that with your gray eyes and you speak such enchanting words, _mon chéri?_ ”  
Before I could even react, he takes off his shoes and easily carries me off the sink and brings us both inside the shower area. Namjoon then turned it on and lets the hot water drench on us both as he also keeps profoundly kissing me which now made me dazed and dizzy.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mmm... m-monsieur... y-you’re getting your turtleneck and clothes wet...”  
“Then undress me, _mon chéri_...”  
Teasingly kissing my now wet lips, I had no reason to refuse. I then took off his white turtleneck sweater and helped him undress his grey ankle pants.  
“H-Haaaa... toujours beau... ever so handsome you are, my monsieur lawyer...”  
“N-Not as beautiful as you are my lady... now, as much as I love seeing you wet in your lace underwear, I’d like to take them off now...”  
As we let the hot shower continue to drizzle down on us, Namjoon swiftly unhooks my bra and panty altogether like the fine magician that he is.  
“A-Aaah... m-mmmm... m-monsieur...”  
“E-Ever so breathtaking you are, my Keira...”  
His big hands then started tickling my breasts and nipples that I could only moan in pleasure and it didn’t help that the hot water was making it just as thrilling. Namjoon then lifted me up again, made my legs wrap around his firm waist and pinned my back to the shower’s cold walls as he started rubbing my most precious spot.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaaa... n-not there, monsieur...”  
“H-Haaaa... b-but you feel so right here, mademoiselle...”  
I screamed the moment his mouth finally reached my clit. Namjoon’s tongue started to swirl inside of me that I couldn’t stop from crying in euphoria as my fingernails dug deeply into his wet hair and skin.  
“D-Don’t hold back your screams for me, my lady...”  
“A-Aaaah...! A-aaah...! M-Monsieur...! Ne t'arrête pas...!”  
The glass doors and windows of the shower started going foggy of the hot and heavy lovemaking between Namjoon and I, but we didn’t care one bit as we could only hear the flow of the water and our raucous wails for one another.

Getting ready for the next move, Namjoon then whispers in my ever sensitive ear as I undressed him off of his underwear,  
“A-Are you ready for what’s next, my now wet mademoiselle?”  
“O-Oui... p-please... m-monsieur Joon... I... I need you... j'ai besoin de vous...”  
Giving me one more deep, passionate kiss, we just gazed sublimely at each other before he held on tightly to my thighs and entered his inner god inside of me which made my whole body squirm in the most riveting way imaginable.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Ahhh... J-Joon...! M-Mmmm...”  
“L-Let’s start nice and slow, don’t we _mon chéri?_ ”  
I could only nod nonsensically as Namjoon started his thrusts in me so gently and amorously like the _calm before a storm_ , even his wet kisses felt like soft feathers as I wrapped my arms around his also wet neck.  
“M-Monsieur... e-embrasse moi plus fort...”  
“I-I love you going all _French_ , but English please mademoiselle...”  
“K-Kiss me harder...”  
“A-As you wish, my lady...”  
When he finally steadied my body which felt like it’s currently being glued to the wall, he pinned both of my hands to the wall as well with his strong hands while tauntingly biting me over & over on my neckline and bare shoulders.  
“Y-You’re going to give me a lot of hickeys, don’t you know?”  
“I-I’m going to give you more if you keep on staring at me like that, you pretty little minx... I-I’m going to go faster now, _mon chéri_...”  
Both of us then yelped the minute Namjoon resumed his thrusts but this time, it was _rough and wild_. The change of pace made my entire head and soul spin in ecstasy. Even his kissing turned faster and harder under the endless pour of the hot shower.  
“M-Mmm... a-aaah... m-monsieur... p-please... t-tu te sens si bien...”  
“D-Does that feel amazing, my mademoiselle?”  
I nodded with a satisfied but dazed grin.  
“O-Oui...”  
“T-Then, let’s continue on and mix it up...”  
With every thrust, Namjoon made sure _I forgot the bad pain that had happened today_ and replaced it with only the good kind of pain. I lost how many times I groaned when he continued to move inside of me roughly while dancing with my lips and tongue so softly. And the other way around, of course.  
*thump* *thump*  
“H-Haaaa... I... _I love you_ very much... m-my monsieur Namjoon... pour toujours, _forevermore_.”  
“I... _I love you too_ , so, so much my precious lady... my mademoiselle Keira... _forevermore_.”  
Placing each other’s hands on our wet cheeks and staring seriously into each other’s own reflections through our eyes, we kept on getting lost into each other’s very presence.  
“A-aaah... m-mmm... monsieur?”  
“S-Sssh... I know mademoiselle... let’s cum together, okay?”  
Nodding with a small giggle, I just stroked Namjoon’s wet cheeks and pecked his lips telling him,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“As you wish too, my Joon... toujours...”  
Satisfied of my answer, Namjoon leans in closer and kisses my chest and the _necklace charm_ around my neck before entrapping our lips back to each other and finishing up his last round of intimating thrusts inside of me.

“M-Monsieur...”  
“No, go back to sleep my lady. I’m here.”  
After that intense but unforgettable lovemaking inside the shower, I could only remember Namjoon wiping me down and wrapped me in a towel before he princess-carried me to the bed. His big, but genial hands then caressed me on my hair which automatically made me smile even in my exhausted state.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you for everything, my monsieur Joon... t-thank you for not leaving my side today...”  
Planting a quick kiss on my forehead, Namjoon just pulled me closer to his always snug arms and embraced me while tucking in the bedsheets to keep me from stirring in my sleep.  
“I won’t ever leave your side even when you’ll get tired of me in the future, my mademoiselle. You’re stuck with me for life, _mon chéri_.”  
“For life huh? _I love you_ , Namjoon.”  
“And _I love you_ , Keira. Now, go back to sleep.”  
This was such a long day, yet somehow... one thing I learned from this day was that **_wanting was enough, for me it was enough_** , especially as long as I had Namjoon by my side.

Because even the worst of days feel like the best when we’re together and he holds tightly of my hand.

But, of course, fate absolutely had to prove us both wrong by contesting, **_“wanting will never be enough.”_**

Very. Soon.  
**

_Spring of 1975:  
London, England, U.K._

Nothing changed even when a new season and a new year welcomed Namjoon and I. Our relationship was still going stronger more than ever since what happened in Paris.

Even when we had our _very first fight_ in the spring, it never stopped him from keeping his promise to me.

To never leave my side.  
And to never leave his side.

But that simple spring was only a preparation for what was about to happen in the summer.

_The summer a year after when everything began._

**  
 _Summer of 1975:  
London, England, U.K.  
some time around August_

 _BGM: Mistake (Girls Generation)_  
*thump* *thump*  
“N-No... I’m going with you, monsieur...!”  
“Mademoiselle, you’re sick _mon chéri_...”  
One day, Namjoon was supposedly asked by Madame to fly to _Italy_ for a week to settle a vital issue there in one of the publishing house’s branches. As much as I had wanted to come with him, I’ve been feeling out of the weather lately and was sick in bed for a few days already.  
“I know... but... I don’t want you to go all alone...”  
Kissing me on my forehead, he just stroked my cheeks telling me,  
“You should be more worried about your health now my lady. Jin _hyung_ will be with me the entire time.”  
“Monsieur...”  
“I also had you listed for a doctor’s appointment too tomorrow with a friend of mine who graduated from _Cambridge_ at the hospital. I’m sorry if I can’t come with you though.”  
Feeling touched of his genuine uneasiness for my condition even if I won’t see him for a week, I held on tightly to both of his hands with mine and said,  
“N-No... I’m sorry if I sounded selfish for forcing myself to go when I know you’re just worried about me worsening if I come along. Right?”  
“Obviously mademoiselle. You don’t know how much thinking I’ve had to do because I didn’t want to leave you alone at this time. If this wasn’t an urgent case, I’d rather spoil and take care of you anyway.”  
When his brown eyed gaze found mine on cue, Namjoon helped me sit up on my bed before I asked him,  
“Will you give me one last hug then, monsieur dimples?”  
“Always for you, my mademoiselle.”  
I’m going to miss Namjoon’s warmth and his ever appeasing woody scent even only for a week. But, I know he’s going to come back. _He always does._  
“Will you let me kiss you then, mademoiselle Keira? I need my boost of my lady’s energy to last for one whole week.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“B-But... what if you get sick too?”  
“Well, it will be a good excuse to stay in bed with you then.”  
Even in my refute, Namjoon didn’t listen and went on to kiss me on the lips. Since it was the last kiss we would be having for a short while, we shared a quite long, but enthralling kiss as his hands caressed me on my warm cheeks while I wrapped my arms around his neck.  
“Wait for me to come back, okay Keira?”  
“Oui, pour toujours. _Forevermore_ , Namjoon.”

I didn’t realize that was the start of _fate’s plan_ to collapse everything before my very eyes.

**  
 _The next day...  
Cambridge University Hospital, NHS Foundation Trust Cambridge_

“Thank you for doing this even in your busy schedule.”  
“Don’t worry Miss Keira, since it’s a favor from Professor Kim himself, how could I say no?”  
Thanks to the doctor that Namjoon knew, I was able to smoothly go through the different tests I had to take and got referred to a female doctor as well who can interpret my results comfortably.

“Please sit, Miss Keira. Let’s talk about how you’re currently feeling at the moment while we wait for your lab results.”  
“Ah, thank you doctor.”  
After she performed a physical examination on me, the female doctor then asked me,  
“Miss Keira? How have you been feeling lately? Can you describe to me a bit of the symptoms?”  
Recalling what had happened lately especially almost a week ago, I still could remember Namjoon’s concerned voice echoing inside my head right after I had vomited in the bathroom and felt close enough to fainting.  
 _“M-Mademoiselle? What’s wrong? Are you okay?! D-Did you eat anything spoiled? Should we go to the hospital?”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Actually doc... I did vomit a week ago but I don’t remember eating anything raw or spoiled, and not to mention, I almost fainted and lost consciousness too.”  
As I continued explaining to her bit by bit as far as my memory could recall what had occurred oddly during the week, my lab results then arrived on time.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Hmm...”  
Watching her read my results made me a bit anxious especially since I couldn’t read her facial expressions so openly. She then straight on asked next,  
“Miss Keira, when was the last time you had your period?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“My last period...”_  
I could then hear the thumping from my chest grow louder because there could only be one more undeniable question attached to what she had just asked.  
“A-A month ago, doc...”  
“This is going to be another straightforward question Miss Keira, but since we’re both women here, I’m going to ask you this next... when was the last time you had sex with your partner?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Feeling my head pound in wonderment of where the conversation was going, I also recalled what had happened as well last week in Namjoon’s apartment.  
 _“M-Monsieur... ça fait mal... a-aaah... i-it hurts...!”  
“I-I know my lady... b-but I’m almost there... h-haaa... s-shit...!”_  
I had to stop myself from blushing beet red of that memory as I just confessed to the doctor,  
“A... a week ago, doc...”  
Then without further ado, she then drops the most clear-cut diagnosis of why I’ve been feeling so out of myself lately.  
“Well, congratulations Miss Keira. You’re going to be a mother soon. You’re _1 week_ into your pregnancy, that’s why you’ve been feeling all those symptoms.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Miss Keira?”  
I didn’t know how I should feel right at that very exact moment in time. I still could hear the ghostly pounding of my chest ring inside my ears. Was it excitement? Was it nervousness? Was it a mix of all kinds of emotions?  
“Miss Keira? Is everything okay?”  
As the doctor’s voice brought me back to reality, I just pretended to smile and tell her,  
“A-Ah, yes... I’m sorry for zoning out, it’s just... it’s unanticipated after all.”  
“I know that worried look.”  
“W-What?”  
I could only blink as she gave me a cordial smile and asked,  
“Miss Keira, are you worried about the father knowing?”  
The father huh? Why did Namjoon’s distressed looking brown eyes appear inside my inner thoughts on cue?  
“A-A little... he was supposed to accompany me today but he had to go to _Italy_ for work... I won’t see him for another week.”  
“Is that so? Don’t worry about it too much Miss Keira. Now that you have a tiny life inside of you, you shouldn’t think of any gloomy thoughts because your little one is going to feel everything you feel, both the happy ones and the sad ones.”  
Everything the doctor said was right. Touching my stomach, I finally managed to smile naturally and said,  
“My little one... mon petit... thank you for your kind words, doc. Really...”  
“It’s normal to feel anxious, Miss Keira. Trust me, I’ve been there too. But, don’t stress out too much without your partner. I’m sure he’s going to accept your little one earnestly since it _takes two lives to create a brand new one_.”  
As young as the doctor was, she was really filled with so much wisdom that I couldn’t be more grateful that it was her who had told me the most eye-opening news in my life.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you doc. I’ll be sure to remember that. And I’ll be sure to tell him as soon as he gets back.”

However, the week passed by in the blink of an eye.

_And sadly, Namjoon **never** came back._

**  
 _Summer of 1975:  
London, England, U.K.  
in Madame’s office, a few days after_

 _BGM: Where are you? (CLC)_  
“Madame? You wanted to see me?”  
As I was fit to go back to work now, I was then on cue being called to my boss’ office. Approaching me, she placed her hand on top of my head and asked,  
“Keira darling, how are you holding up? I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay because judging from your still swollen up eyes, you’re just forcing yourself to be okay. Right?”  
On cue, just at the simple mention of my swollen eyes, tears slowly formed around my eyes but I knew had to get a grip myself because I’m not living for myself anymore.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Madame... a-as much as my heart feels like it’s bleeding so much for the past days now, I... I can’t cry too much because... because there’s a life I’m going to protect more than my own self now.”  
“K-Keira darling, you don’t mean...?”  
Wiping a bit of my tears, I tried to smile as I told Madame,  
“Y-Yes. I’m... I’m pregnant, Madame.”  
“Oh my lord! Come here, sweetie...!”  
With wide eyes, she then hugged me in her motherly embrace and patted me lovingly at the back of my head saying,  
“Keira darling... congratulations sweetie... I’m so proud of you. It must’ve been hard, huh? You can cry darling. It’s okay.”  
Returning her embrace, I just sobbed. I sobbed in my boss’ comforting arms. Since the very person I wanted to be here _the most_ didn’t show his face at my doorstep anymore for days now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-It hurts... it really does... w-where could be be... I’m... I’m worried if something bad had happened to him Madame... I... I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle if anything happened to Namjoon...”  
I could hear her long sigh before she releases me from her embrace and walked back to her table to grab something.  
“Keira honey, I know you shouldn’t strain yourself especially mentally and emotionally now since you’re on your first trimester, but... there is something important that you should know.”  
“M-Madame...”  
She didn’t hesitate to hand over two white envelopes to me. The moment I stared at the very familiar penmanship that was on the envelopes, my chest felt like it was being crushed to tiny pieces and bleeding all over again.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“Wait for me, okay mademoiselle?”_  
“T-This is...!”  
My eyes couldn’t stop shaking at what was written on the first envelope as Madame then told me,  
“It was on my table already the first thing I had arrived. What was that fool thinking?”  
I could only clench the envelope and tremble at the words _‘resignation letter’_ written on the back.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why... m-monsieur...”  
Trying to compose myself, Madame then pointed out to me with another sigh,  
“Keira darling, the first one isn’t the one I meant to give to you. It’s the second one.”  
“W-What?”  
As I handed back the first envelope to her, she was right. The second one left me more speechless than I already was.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“For: Mademoiselle Keira”_  
It had my name. The name which only that one man had the privilege to call me. Just that simple little detail destroyed my heart all over again.  
“M-Madame... m-may I?”  
“Absolutely darling. Open it. You deserve the right to know.”  
As I then opened the envelope, I could smell the faint trail of that woody scent from that person himself in the two paged letter he had written for me.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
When my gray eyes skimmed through the first sentences he had written, I didn’t even notice that I had already turned around and made a run for it that not even my boss’ voice was enough to stop me.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“I-It couldn’t be...!”_  
“I... I’m so sorry Madame...!”  
“Keira darling...! D-Don’t...!”

Exiting our work building, I then hurriedly boarded on a cab, completely forgetting the fact I had my own car which I could drive.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Sir, Heathrow Airport ASAP please!”  
But... at that very moment, solely Namjoon’s letter and his words were the only ones lingering inside my head and my heart while looking at the view of London on the cab’s windows.

> _ BGM: Bye (GFRIEND) _   
>  _**For: my lady, mon chéri, my mademoiselle, my Keira,** _
> 
> _If you’re reading this now, I’m probably getting ready for my flight back to Seoul, South Korea._
> 
> _I never thought the first letter I’d be writing to you would turn out to be a letter of me saying goodbye to you. I never thought that I’d be the one to break my promise to you. I never thought that I’d be the one who told you that I’d protect your heart forever, but I ended up being the one who’s going to break it._
> 
> _I’m sorry.  
>  That simple phrase will never be enough of what I’m about to do.  
> That simple phrase will never be enough to make you forgive me for leaving you without even saying a proper goodbye._
> 
> _Keira, I cannot tell you the real reason why I’m leaving through this letter but... just know... all of my feelings... everything I had said to you throughout the one fateful year since I had met you, since I bumped my bike into you, you can believe them mademoiselle. All of my love. All of my heart. All of my trust. Every word. Every touch. Every hug. Every kiss. Every memory. Everything I felt for you, there had been no lie whatsoever._
> 
> _Thank you for existing mon chéri. Thank you for being the most captivating woman I’ve ever met. I’ve ever gotten to know. And I’ve ever loved with everything I’ve had in this life._
> 
> _Even if we’re no longer together, I will never ask you to wait for me because I know... I know that’ll be the cruelest thing I can do to you._
> 
> _I’m sorry if I told you that I would not ever leave you like those two people hidden deep inside your memories had done to you.  
>  I’m sorry if I, too, will be doing the same thing that I swore to you I would never do.  
> I’m sorry if breaking your heart is the only capable thing I’m about to do._
> 
> _Goodbye, my mademoiselle Keira.  
>  **난 너를 정말 정말 사랑해**  
>  — your monsieur flower destroyer, your monsieur lawyer, your monsieur dimples, your monsieur Joon_

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“J-Joon...”  
As my tears then dropped to the pages of the letter, my heart felt like it was being jabbed so much that it was getting hard to breathe.  
“Miss? We’re here.”  
“A-Ah, thank you sir.”  
Wiping the obvious signs of tears, I had to pacify myself as I just paid the kind driver and quickly ran towards the entrance of the airport.

_Summer of 1975:  
Heathrow Airport  
Hillingdon, Greater London, England, UK_

_BGM: Bye (GFRIEND) cont._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
Looking over at the list of flights, I then rushed over towards the ticketing area and asked,  
“E-Excuse me miss, what time is the next flight to _Seoul, South Korea?_ ”  
Both women then looked tensely at me before they said,  
“Actually Ma’am...”  
“The next flight is currently boarding right now on gate number **7**...”  
After getting the gate number, I then thanked them and ran as fast as I could. I don’t know if I was allowed to run frantically even when I knew I was pregnant, but if this was the last time I could see him, I still had to tell him. _I still needed to tell Namjoon about our little one._  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“P-Please... p-please God... let me make it in time...”  
I just held on tightly to the gleaming necklace around my neck as I pushed back my tears that could come around any second now.

“E-Excuse me! Did the plane bound for _Seoul_ leave already?”  
“The main doors are about to close now Ma’am, but w—?!”  
Without even hesitating, I then passed by the gates and continued running.  
“M-Ma’am...! W-Wait...!”  
“I’m... I’m sorry...!”

When I reached the doors, the ladder to the plane was already being taken away and it started moving towards the airway to prepare to take flight,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“N-Namjoon...! M-Monsieur...! P-Please... please come back...!”  
Yet no matter how many times I tried to call out to his name in desperation, all I got in return was the sound of the airplane taking flight before my very eyes and not to mention the very violent gust and burst of wind.

I was too late as I could only watch with heavily tearful gray eyes the plane ascend towards the bright, summer sky.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“Goodbye, mademoiselle Keira.”_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
With my exhaustion creeping in, I hadn’t noticed I was already bleeding from my legs and before I knew it, my eyesight started going blurry and I had lost my consciousness.  
“M-Miss! Miss! Are you okay?!”  
“Oh my god! Call an ambulance ASAP!”  
“S-She’s bleeding! Hurry up! Get help!”  
I could only hear one unfamiliar voice after another panicking at my unconscious state.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“Don’t come back anymore, Keira. Juste ne pas.”  
“You’re no daughter of ours, ne reviens pas.”  
“I’m sorry if I can no longer stay by your side, mademoiselle.”_

I remember thinking I was okay as long as he was by my side.  
 _I remember thinking I had him. **Only him**._

But in the end, _fate_ shattered every single thing in front of my very sight.  
But, in the very end, _**I can only see myself, not us, getting lost in the memory**_.  
That was when the most cruel month of _August_ _**sipped away like a bottle of wine because it was never mine from the start.**_

And the man named _Kim Namjoon_ _**turned out to be never mine from the start.**_

 _ **Namjoon was never mine to lose.**_  
Now, no matter how many times I’ll try to come back, he doesn’t and will never come back _**like a slip in time**_.

I just closed my eyes and let the last of my tears cascade down along with my last whisper to the summer air,  
“A-Au revoir, my monsieur Joon...”

***  
 _Summer of 1980:  
Trouville-sur-Mer, northern France  
early August_

 _BGM: It’s too late (CLC)_  
“Kiana _ma chérie_ , don’t stray too far okay?”  
“Oui _maman_...!”  
 _Four long years_ since that day. Four years since I had to piece back my heart and my entire self together. I don’t know if I could consider myself okay or not at this point in time, but just by looking into my little girl’s big, round _amber_ eyes, my problems and my heart aches seem so minuscule.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“I... I can’t stay here in London anymore... I don’t want to go back to Paris either... I... I can’t stay at the places where it’ll remind me of any memories of him...”_  
Even the clear reminiscence of those heavy memoirs still left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. If it wasn’t for Madame, I don’t know where I’ll be now. I still feel so thankful of how she even found this serene place within _France_.  
 _“Then, why don’t you move faraway and start anew Keira darling? How does Northern France sound?”_  
To think she even easily found me a new home in this _beautiful coastal town_. Madame was the only one who had helped me pick myself up all these years. Of course, I’m still working for her as an author while part-timing at a local bookstore here in town. I’m currently in the works of my second book.  
 _“M-Monsieur J-Joon...!”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“It’s been four years but the pain still felt like it all happened yesterday.”  
I told myself ironically as I stared feeling a bit teary-eyed at the picturesque view of the coastal beach that was just a few distance away from my home.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Even with the pain... I’m going to become stronger. Not only for my own self anymore, but also _for Kiana’s sake_.”  
My life during these four years hadn’t been the easiest, but seeing Kiana grow up so cheerfully in front of my very eyes every day since she was born, I couldn’t ask for anything more. _She was my whole life now_.

“A-Ah!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kiana?!”  
As soon as I heard Kiana’s little voice echo a shriek in between the sounds of the crisp summer air and the sea’s waves, I quickly ran through the sand and headed towards where she was and then,  
“Oops. Be more careful you pretty little miss. Crabs are friendly creatures, but they can be protective of themselves if you pull onto them suddenly.”  
“Oh? Really? Merci beaucoup~ beau monsieur~”  
“You’re _French_? What’s your name then pretty little mademoiselle?”  
“Oh! It’s...!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
It seems there was already a tall silhouette that had helped my little girl. However, my chest’s pounding couldn’t stop from growing so loud like the sea’s waves and my whole body shuddered at the familiar smile with the _dimples_ and the _tall, dark, and handsome_ silhouette that I had decided to bury within deep inside of my memories just like what I did to the ghosts of my parents.  
 _“I-It couldn’t be... it just can’t...”_  
“K-Kiana _ma chérie_...!”  
“M-Maman...!”  
As Kiana just gave the man who was dressed in a white short-sleeved polo leaving a few buttons by the chest unbuttoned, paired with those nude-colored cargo shorts, and brown sneakers, and his ever signature silver watch and black-framed spectacles, a quick smile, she then rushed back to my side and said,  
“That monsieur helped me just now, _maman_! He looks very handsome too!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
With those _deep brown eyes and my gray ones_ locking straight into each other’s gazes after four years since the last time, his deep voice then echoed along with the summer’s breeze saying,  
“Mademoiselle Keira... I finally found you again.”

If you were in my place, how would you even feel right at that very second?  
At that very minute?  
At that very hour?  
At that very moment in time _under the summer sky in_ _August?_

 _To me, it looks like the story was far from over._ _**But why did it feel like it was already too late?**_

**_End._ **   
_— to be continued in Part 2: Namjoon’s POV_

***

~~_finished: 08/16/2020_ ~~


	2. august: Namjoon’s POV (Part 2/2)

***  
 _ **Part 2 of august: Namjoon’s POV**_

_Summer of 1975:_   
_Verona, Italy_

_One week before the fallout..._

_BGM: You in my heart (TWICE)_  
“Namjoon-ah!”  
“Seokjin hyung!”  
As soon as I stepped out of the train, I then found those familiar bright brown eyes in the crowd that then waived to me and called out my name.  
“Well, well, welcome to Italy! Or as the locals here say it, _benvenuto_!”  
“Yes, yes. I know. I came from Venice just a few hours ago. Remember?”  
“Oh right.”  
The two of us just gave a brotherly hug at each other before he then escorted me to his car and drove us to his apartment home here in the picturesque city of Verona itself.

“So, let me get this straight, you spent two days already at Venice before you came here? You really don’t know what resting means, don’t you?”  
I told him my whole work schedule for the week and that I had one last important thing to settle here at Verona as per Madame’s instruction. I’ve been keeping myself busy with work because there’s only one other important person that keeps me awake at night since I can’t stop worrying about how she is.  
“Don’t worry hyung. I just need to settle something here with a few lawyers my big boss had told me to about.”  
“Okay then, _signore_ Kim. Don’t be shy. It’s okay if you say you can’t wait to finally get all this legal stuff of yours done so you can go back home to your mademoiselle. Right?”  
I just shook my head at how he’s so easily able to say something like that as I remembered that one woman’s voice inside my head with a chuckle telling him,  
 _“Monsieur Joon...!”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re really unbelievable Jin hyung. Smart mouth. Just cause you know a little Italian now too.”  
“Well, _grazie_.”

After we dropped off my luggage at his home, he showed me a bit of the very historic city before the sky turned dusk and we decided to grab dinner together.

_Same day:_   
_Around Piazza delle Erbe_   
_Verona, Italy_

“How are you liking the city so far, Namjoon-ah?”  
“Hmm, it’s really beautiful hyung. Keira would’ve adored a place like this. I’ll be sure to come back here with her.”  
“You braggart.”  
The two of us fell to hearty laughs as we continued on with our dinner and clinked our wine glasses together in toast.  
“Whatever, so let’s toast to your ever continuing relationship with mademoiselle Keira, monsieur Namjoon!”  
 _*thump*_  
“H-Hyung...!”  
Seokjin just kept on laughing at my flushed expressions because he really didn’t stop teasing me about Keira for the rest of our conversations.  
“Ah, ah~ don’t get so shy with your hyung now, Namjoon-ah. Too bad Keira-ssi couldn’t come huh? Is she alright?”  
And suddenly the conversation took to a little cloudy turn.  
 _*thump*_  
“That’s... that’s something I would like to know too very much, hyung.”  
I just tried to force out a smile to Seokjin while pushing back my spectacles.  
“Namjoon-ah...”  
“Every time I close my eyes to sleep, all I see are her gray eyes looking straight at me as if she was lying right next to me on the bed. It... it felt useless to send her a telegram asking if she was okay or not...”  
“Since you’ll be coming back to her soon? And you didn’t want to make her worried as well?”  
I nodded without hesitation.  
“Always right are you huh, Jin hyung?”  
“Don’t use that sarcastic tone of yours with me, lawyer Kim. Of course it’s perfectly natural to worry about someone you care about. Oh I know!”  
I was then curious when Seokjin’s face then lit up passionately as if he had just a crazy idea of his once again.  
“I know that look... what did you think of this time around? Not one of your crazy long shot ideas like those back when we were in university together?”  
“Hey...! Show your hyung more respect, will you? It’s not a crazy long shot idea! It’s foolproof!”  
I had no other to choice but to listen to him with a sigh saying as I put down my wine glass back on the table,  
“Fine. Let’s hear it then.”  
“You’re worried about Keira-ssi, right? But you feel like it would take too long if you send her a telegram right?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Where is he going with this conversation?  
“Y-Yes? And what are you suggesting then, Jin hyung?”  
With a suspicious grin, Seokjin just rubbed his chin cunningly telling me,  
“You do know that payphone booth’s exist right? You can just give her a call at her telephone at Keira-ssi’s home?”  
“...”  
I could only stare at him blankly for a few moments before I completely fell to a laugh because of his words.  
“Hey! What’s so funny about what I said?!”  
“H-Haaaaaa... I swear I haven’t laughed this much since Keira attempted to stay mad at me for making her drink my coffee because she was out of tea bags at my apartment. A-Ah, I’m sorry for laughing so much hyung.”  
“Hey Kim Namjoon! What is so funny huh?!”  
After a few more laughs, I finally got my senses back together and told him straightforwardly,  
“Jin hyung, I’m not going to be rude and all but... I know how a payphone works. I would’ve done that already but, how am I supposed to call Keira when she doesn’t have a telephone at her apartment huh?”  
It was Seokjin’s turn to blink blankly at me with a daze expression written all over his so-called ‘ _worldwide handsome_ ’ face before he just said,  
“Oh.”  
“Haaaa... Jin hyung really.”  
“Fine. Fine! Laugh as much as you want, Namjoon-ah! And you tell me I have the smart mouth, jeez.”  
Well, thanks to where our conversation’s topic led us now, I was able to cheer up even for a bit and was able to toss out the negativity in my thoughts lately. Especially with what I’m about to do soon when I see Keira again.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you, Jin hyung.”  
“Why the sudden thank you?”  
Looking up at the night sky from the beautiful night sky of Verona, I hope you’re also looking up at the same night sky as I am right now, my mademoiselle. I then just told Seokjin with a smile with my now appeased thoughts,  
“It’s just a simple thanks for cheering me up, hyung.”  
“Namjoon-ah...”  
“I really appreciate it and I’m glad you’re here with me too.”  
“As if. Go tell that to Keira-ssi instead. Don’t go all cheesy with me, it’s giving me goosebumps Namjoon-ah. And not the good ones too!”  
Both of us continued on with our light conversations and wine as I didn’t hesitate to ask him with a grin,  
“So, did you meet a woman who could be your the one already, monsieur Jin?”  
“Don’t you even go there with me now on that topic, signore Namjoon.”

Before we both knew it, the summer night in Italy grew late. And in between our late talks and drinks, my innermost thoughts would recall the gray eyes I miss so much and her gentle smile. Oh how I wish this week was already over.  
 _“Come back home soon okay, my monsieur Joon?”_

**  
The next days were hectic and busy with me working out the legal contract that Madame had told me about. It was nonstop meetings and consultations with fellow lawyers that had kept me occupied that the days passed by in the blink of an eye.

But, just by looking at the small red box I had been hiding secretly since this Spring, I knew I had to open it up to Seokjin real soon. Because even if my head was trying to convince me I was ready, my heart meanwhile still had a bit of doubts.

The doubts of the simple three lettered word called, “ **yes**.”

**  
 _The day before coming back to London:_  
 _Piazza delle Erbe_  
 _Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: U R (TAEYEON)_  
It was one day before my return to London tomorrow. With all of my work schedules settled already yesterday, today was my last free day here in Verona.

And today was the last day I could tell Seokjin about the thing that’s been heavily weighing inside my head and heart lately. We were having morning coffee at a cafe by the town’s central plaza before he wanted to take me somewhere to buy souvenirs and see the _Roman Theater and Archaeological Museum._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Jin hyung...”  
“What’s wrong?”  
Without even hesitating anymore, I took a deep breath in and out before I then pulled out the red box from my pants’ pocket and placed it on the table which made his brown eyes turn wide on cue.  
“N-Namjoon-ah, this is...”  
I could only nod in silence as he then opened the small red box and looked at me in disbelief of what he just saw.  
“Hey Kim Namjoon, are you for real...?”  
Taking off my glasses, I told him in all seriousness,  
“I know you’re thinking it’s too fast and everything hyung... but...”  
“You’re really in love with her, aren’t you Kim Namjoon?”  
The second those words came out of Seokjin’s mouth, I could only smile at the thought of that one special woman’s luminous smile behind her ever perfect gray eyes.  
 _“Monsieur dimples...!”_  
“Yes. Yes, I am Jin hyung.”  
Seokjin just sighed but with a small smile also forming on his lips as he told me next,  
“Well then, be sure to make Keira-ssi the happiest woman, got it?”  
He then handed back the opened red box to me as my eyes could only stare at the glimmering golden, daisy-shaped, oval, halo engagement ring right in the middle of the box with the words ‘ ** _forevermore, my Keira_** ’ engraved around the inside.  
“Of course, Jin hyung. You don’t have to worry about that.”  
“Haaaa... I can’t believe you’re that ready to get down on one knee for a woman you’ve only been seeing for more than a year, Namjoon-ah.”  
I just chuckled at Seokjin’s remarks as I said while putting the ring’s box back down on the table,  
“Hyung, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone to know if that person’s the one or not. For me... Keira’s **the one**. Ever since we stepped into that church together in Paris last winter, I knew I wanted her and only her for the rest of my life.”  
“You’re whipped for Keira-ssi I should say, Namjoon-ah.”  
Taking the ring from the box carefully, I just held it in my right hand and told Seokjin,  
“Hyung, I tell you. You’ll know that feeling once you find your **the one**. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  
“Is that a threat, lawyer Kim?”  
“I’m just stating facts here, hyung.”  
Seokjin could only roll his eyes at my reply.  
“Someone’s getting cocky just because he’s about to propose.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
In all honesty, even though I had the ring and everything, I still had no concrete idea of how I was going to bring this up to Keira next week.  
“Actually hyung...”  
“Hmm?”  
I then opened up to Seokjin the very thing that’s been weighing heavily on me.  
“What?! You’re still not sure of when and how you’re going to propose to Keira-ssi?!”  
All eyes were then on us inside the cafe as Seokjin couldn’t tone down his loud voice just now.  
“Sssh, you’re so loud hyung! Keep it down...!”  
“Don’t mind them. Anyway, what do you mean you don’t have any idea yet when and how you’re going to tell her?”  
With a sigh, I just told him honestly,  
“Ever since we came back from Paris last winter, it’s always been in my mind to propose to Keira but... I don’t know how I’m supposed to bring it up since,”  
“Since you’d accidentally blurt it out cause you can’t keep a secret for so long, right?”  
He really knows to hit me with his words back then and even right now.  
“That’s my Jin hyung, doesn’t know how to mince words back then and even now.”  
“ _Pabo_. Just tell her. You two are so honest with each other and even no matter how much you try to hide it, Keira-ssi’s still going to catch you red handed.”  
Placing back the ring inside the box, I just sighed to myself next before I then asked him,  
“Hyung, to be real honest with you... I’m a bit nervous. What if she says no? What if she says no because we’re going too fast and she’s not ready yet?”  
Before I could even react, Seokjin just playfully, but somewhat forcefully, slapped me on my right shoulder which made me flinch in shock.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“O-Ouch? H-Hyung, what was that for?”  
“For asking such a dumb question. Do you even realize the way you two look at each other? I may have only met Keira-ssi once but I see the way you look at her, Namjoon-ah.”  
“Hyung...”  
“And I saw the way she looked at you when we met. Looking at the two of you, you both really share a genuine connection with each other. It makes even someone like me wishful too that I’ll have something like what you two share in the future.”  
Having known Seokjin for a long time now, everything he was saying was out of his earnest honesty. I wonder what kind of woman will be able to move his still, frozen heart.  
“I know you will, hyung. I, too, wasn’t the kind of person who needed a woman in my life but then, when Keira came into the picture, I couldn’t have asked for anything more.”  
“Who knew the always, logical guy I knew back in university would be this romantic?”  
Just by picturing Keira’s smiling face inside my head, I told Seokjin,  
 _“Monsieur Joon!”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Well, my mademoiselle brought out a side of me that I didn’t know I had.”  
“Show-off.”  
The two of us just exchanged more passing laughter during our morning coffee before he then said to me,  
“Namjoon-ah, don’t forget to invite me to your wedding. Got it?”  
I couldn’t help but lean back my head and let out a hearty laugh at his last remark saying,  
“Getting ahead already aren’t we, hyung?”

Even no matter how happy I currently was, I wasn’t prepared of the tragedy that was about to befall me a few hours from now.

**  
 _Afternoon of the same day:_  
 _Summer of 1975_  
 _Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: Orbit (Hwasa)_  
As we arrived at Seokjin’s apartment to drop off the souvenirs I had brought for Keira and my family and after our visit to the theater and museum, he then handed over a telegram to me which left me a bit confused.  
“Hyung? What’s this?”  
“Beats me. But it’s addressed to you.”  
When Seokjin left me alone in his living room, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking and my chest squeezed in pure nervousness the second I flipped the strange telegram and found my name written on it.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-This handwriting...”  
Opening the telegram quickly, I read the contents of the letter. The letter that left me lost for words right then and there.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-It can’t be...”  
“Namjoon-ah? Why don’t we go to the Climb Lamberti To—-?”  
I was still shaking with the letter in my hands as Seokjin came back to the scene and he stared at me with wide and worried eyes.  
“What’s wrong Namjoon-ah?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“My son, we need you to come back ASAP. Please.”_  
Closing my eyes as my father’s voice echoed inside my mind right on cue, I took a deep breath in and out before I opened my eyes again and had made my decision.  
“I... I’m sorry hyung.”  
“W-Wait...! Namjoon-ah?!”  
Dropping the letter, I then didn’t hesitate to grab my bag and headed straight out for the door, running that not even Seokjin was fast enough to stop me.  
“Namjoon-ah...! Where are you going?!”  
“I’m sorry Jin hyung, I need to go back now! I’m so sorry. I’ll write to you! G-Goodbye for now.”

Without turning back, I took a taxi and asked to be taken to the train station. Alone in the backseat of the taxi, I still could remember the entire words of that letter. The letter that came from my father himself. The letter that brought back the fears I thought wouldn’t shake me anymore. But I guess... fears easily can’t just disappear even when you grow up.

> _Namjoon-ah,_
> 
> _You must have been surprised to receive a letter from me. But I hope by the time you receive this, you’re still in Italy for your work affairs. If you’re wondering why your father is writing you a letter out of the blue, I’ll get right with it._
> 
> _Son, I’m going to be straight with you. Can you please go back to Birmingham? I, your mother, and your sister need you right now. We... we don’t know what to do at the moment. Your mother and I didn’t know how we should tell you that... that I had received a letter from my siblings from Seoul._
> 
> _Yes, from those same people, Namjoon-ah. The very people that made us leave our very home in Seoul in the first place. Who would’ve thought that they would find us now even here in Europe huh?_
> 
> _I guess it’s true that in life, we shouldn’t be complacent of where we are now._
> 
> _That’s why, my son, we need you to come back ASAP. Please.  
>  We’ll be waiting for you here in Birmingham.  
> — your father._

Even if my head was busy swirling with one anxious thought after another, my heart started pounding painfully at the thought too of her voice.  
 _“Monsieur?”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
As much as I had wanted to hug her in my arms and drown in her comforting embrace, I had to hold back any signs of tears for now since I had to get my shit together not only for my family, but also for her as well.

In that same afternoon, I took the train from Verona back to Venice. And from Venice, I took an instant flight in the evening for London.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Looks like I can’t come back to you for now, mademoiselle.”  
And that day was only the beginning to the tragedy that was going to hit me like a bursting dam tomorrow.

**  
 _Summer of 1975:_  
 _Birmingham, UK, England_  
 _The Kim residence_

 _BGM: Ending Scene (IU)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mother, father. I’m home.”  
“N-Namjoon-ah...”  
“Thank goodness.”  
The very minute I entered the front door, the two of them then greeted me with an embrace that was filled with nothing but dread.  
“Tell me what happened.”  
As my father then walked me through what had happened since he received that letter from Seoul, my mother then placed down a cup of coffee for me on the table.  
“Namjoon-ah, we’re... we’re sorry for calling you to come back all of a sudden especially when you’re busy at work.”  
“No, don’t. Don’t apologize for that mother.”  
She just patted me on my cheeks with that motherly expression taking over her face as she then sat down on the sofa with father and I.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Does Geong Min know about the letter too, father?”  
“No. Not yet. She still hasn’t come home from her lectures today.”  
“I see.”  
The three of us were busy contemplating and talking seriously about what we should do from here on out that we didn’t notice the time that had already passed by so quickly.

As soon as my little sister came home, the four of us had decisions to make. And not very easy decisions too.  
“Namjoon-ah...”  
“Oppa...”  
“Son, I’m pretty sure you know the weight of that decision entails. Right?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“Joon?”_  
After discussing the most viable solutions we should take as a family, there could only be one that outweighed the rest of our options.  
“We don’t have much of a choice, right? No matter how much of the past we had left in Seoul... one way or another, it would’ve come back to catch up to us. Like what’s happening now.”  
“Namjoon-ah... are you sure? I know that you’re thinking of what’s best for us, but... don’t be hasty okay?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Looking into my mother’s warm eyes, I knew that she was trying to tell me not to let my worries cloud my judgment. Especially since this was going to be a very heavy decision for all of us.  
“Mother...”  
“Oppa, we know you’re worried about us, but think about your decision carefully. Are you willing to lose the life that you’ve built here already? And the people who became a part of your life too?”  
“Geong Min-ah...”  
My little sister’s words also made my chest tremble a lot. I knew. I knew they could only be talking about her. About that one woman with the gray eyes. About the woman who became a very important part of my life. About Keira herself.  
 _“Come back to me, okay my monsieur?”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’ll think about what you said then, mother, Geong Min-ah.”  
And with that, the four of us retired for the quite long night.

 _A little while later..._  
 _“Oh, oh, I’m sure your mother is going to love this ceramic pair of plates I’m sending to her the next time you come home, and a pair of shot glass for your father! Of course I didn’t forget this pretty charcoal colored sweater vest for your younger sister.”_  
 _“You know that you don’t have to buy them a lot every time you come to visit right, mademoiselle?”_  
 _“Jeez~ just let me be monsieur. Since your family form the most important people in your life, they’re also important to me as well.”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
The passing flashback almost made my eyes water at the nostalgia as I gazed at the moon shining brightly up at the night sky from my room’s small balcony while tightly gripping onto the small red box on my right hand.  
 _“Son, are you sure? Are you sure about leaving London to come back with us to Seoul? Are you sure you’re ready to leave behind everything here in London? Even Keira-ssi herself?”_  
“Mademoiselle... what am I supposed to do... this... this was supposed to be the day I came back to your warm embrace and see your perfect gray eyes and smile once again. But...”  
Before I knew it, I felt tears streaming down my cheeks as I clenched my right hand, which still had the small red box on my palm, onto my chest where my heart was squeezing so much in pain of where things were leading up to now.  
 _“Monsieur dimples...!”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Namjoon-ah? Are you still up sweetie?”  
Wiping my tears hurriedly, I then said,  
“A-Ah, yes. I’m still awake, mother.”  
As my mother then came in to my room, she didn’t hesitate to walk up straight to me and stood right beside my side saying,  
“You don’t have to hold back your tears from me, Namjoon-ah.”  
“M-Mother...”  
Catching my slowly turning swollen brown eyes on cue and even the small red box I couldn’t let go of, mother then just patted me comfortingly at my back telling me with the always reassuring smile on her face,  
“I’m your mother. If you can keep up your strong persona around your father and your sister, that won’t work with me. I know you’re just trying to hide your hurt and your tears. You have every right to feel that way, Namjoon-ah. That’s why... just let it out sweetie.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“Monsieur, don’t hold anything back from me okay? I will accept them all, your happiness, your sadness, your fears, your anxiousness, everything... just like you do with mine.”_  
As Keira’s consoling voice lingered once again inside my head and heart, I just cried quietly in my mother’s arms. I cried like a little boy for the first time in years. I cried out all of the bottled up pain and heartache I was feeling since yesterday.  
“I-I’m... I’m sorry K-Keira... I’m... sorry my mademoiselle... I’m... I’m sorry mon chéri...”

I never thought that fate would make me choose between the safety of my family or staying with the love of my life. But here I am now.

And because of those tears, it really felt like I had made the most difficult and heart wrenching decision in my life at that very moment in time.

**  
 _A few days later..._

_Summer of 1975:_   
_Heathrow AirportHillingdon, Greater London, England, UK_

_BGM: Lonely (SISTAR)_  
“I’ll go take care of our tickets.”  
“Your sister and I will handle the luggage for now, Namjoon-ah.”  
As we checked in for our flight at the airport, being at this place just reminded me of my memories with Keira before we headed for Paris that last winter.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
Everywhere I look, every unknown face in the crowd, even if it was only a mere 0.01% chance, by some kind of small hope and miracle, I’ll spot her face. I’ll spot those gray eyes I hold the dearest for the very last time even though I don’t deserve to see her anymore.  
“She and Madame might have received the letters already by today.”  
Recalling the letters I had sent to the publishing house a few days ago, I took the coward’s way out. Not only with my work, but also with how I wanted to ended things with Keira.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“M-Monsieur...”_  
Just by remembering the cruel words I had written in my first letter to Keira, it felt like I could hear glass cracking ring inside my ears. And I could see vividly the tears streaming down from Keira’s heartbroken face.  
“Namjoon-ah, are you okay?”  
“Oppa?”  
My mother and my sister’s voice snapped me back to reality right on cue.  
“A-Ah, yeah. I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”

Little did I know of what was happening right this very second at the publishing house and the very person who rushed herself to the airport even in uncertainty.

 _An hour later,_  
“Oppa, we should go now.”  
It’s been a short while already since boarding for our flight had been announced. I was writing letters on stationery paper before I stopped, folded them together, and placed them inside my journal.  
“I understand. Let’s go then.”  
I just glanced one more time around me, still hoping for that short miracle that I’ll hear that one voice I yearn to hear the most. Yet, real life wasn’t a movie scene. It was far crueler than that.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I guess this is really goodbye then huh, Keira?”  
I whispered to the salty air as I stared lastly at her photograph in my right hand and the small red box I still kept so carefully with me before I continued making my way towards the plane, without glancing back anymore in vain.

And for me, that was how that simple august day became the most excruciating day to ever happen in my entire life.  
 _ **Like a slip in time that will never come back, because it was never mine from the start.**_

_**It was never mine and Keira’s from the start.** _

From that point, I didn’t know that I had almost costed losing not only one important life that day, but also a precious life I didn’t have even have the slightest of knowledge of.

***  
 _Spring of 1975:_  
 _London, England, U.K._

 _BGM: Dear (DREAMCATCHER)_  
“So, what shall we do today my monsieur Joon?”  
“Anything. Or we can just stay here and snuggle each other for the whole day.”  
While Keira was making breakfast in my apartment’s kitchen, I just couldn’t help but give her a back hug and trail kisses over her side profile and neckline.  
“J-Jeez, as if we haven’t been doing that since yesterday, monsieur dimples?”  
“Well, let’s extend it to today too then mon chéri.”  
As she turned around to face me, I just cupped her cheeks with both of my hands and pressed more of my good morning kisses for her until,  
 _*ding* *dong*_  
“I think you should get that?”  
“Who has the audacity to disturb me when I’m trying to spoil you?”  
Keira just giggled before pinching playfully my nose saying with a slightly teasing grin,  
“Silly. Do you want me to open the door then? Even when I’m only wearing this?”  
I also pinched back her nose and told her while kissing quickly her forehead before heading for the front door,  
“No can do. I’m the only person allowed to see you walk around in my clothes, especially the very loose ones.”  
“Oui, I hear you loud and clear monsieur.”

After taking the mail that was dropped off by the mailman just now, I walked back to the living room to go through them one by one and then,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What the...”  
My hands couldn’t stop shaking as well as my eyes when I then held onto the envelope that was sent to me in return. Something that I didn’t foresee would get a response at all.  
“Monsieur? Is something wrong?”  
The moment I met up with Keira’s gray eyes on cue as she looked at me curiously, her quick gaze then found me holding onto the not-so mysterious white envelope that had her name on it.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
“Hmm? Why does it feel like you’ve seen a ghost because of an env——-?”  
As her eyes also started trembling anxiously as soon as she saw her name on the envelope, I had no other choice but to give it to her.  
“M-Mademoiselle,”  
“W-Why do you have a letter with my name on it and has my mother’s penmanship too?”  
Without even hesitating, Keira opened the white envelope and started reading in silence at what was the letter’s content.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Shit. This wasn’t going to end up well.

“K-Keira, mademoiselle...”  
“M-Monsieur, just answer me this.”  
As she puts down the letter, my heart almost shattered as Keira looked at me with such a heartbroken expression written all over her face that was close enough to crying.  
“D-Did you happen to read the letter she had sent to me unexpectedly weeks ago?”  
When Keira looks at me so honestly behind those gray eyes of hers, I just couldn’t ever bring it in myself to lie. I just nodded.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yes. Yes I did.”  
And with that simple reply, Keira’s tears streamed down her face as she puts the letter back on the envelope and exited the living room in a hurry.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...!”  
As I tried to stop her and gently pulled back her right arm, she quickly shot me a pained look and jerked her arm away from my hand’s grip saying,  
“N-Non! Laisse-moi partir... s-s'il-vous-plaît...”  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
“P-Please... please let me go monsieur.”  
“K-Keira...! Look at me! Please.”  
The two of us just stared at each other in silence with only the eerie silence echoing and the clock in the living room ticking.  
“Mon chéri... please... please don’t cry, you know what your tears do to me...”  
Crossing her arms, she just gave me a very forced out smile while wiping her tears with her hands that made me paralyzed from head to toe.  
“I... I need my space for now monsieur. Please. Or else... I might say something that will hurt the two of us.”  
“K-Keira...”  
Being stubborn, I tried to come closer towards her and then,  
“P-Please! D-Don’t try to hug me or kiss me or comfort me right now...! I... I feel so confused? D-Did you even realize that you replied to my mother’s letter without even... without even telling me?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mademoiselle, it’s not what you think...!”

Ignoring me, Keira just ran straight to my room and changed her clothes quickly before she headed straight for the front door telling me lastly,  
“I... I want to be alone. Laisse-moi tranquille! Don’t follow me, monsieur.”  
And yes before I also knew it, she slammed the door while only taking her small handbag and didn’t even bother to take the apartment’s keys.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”  
It was the first time she had raised her voice at me so achingly. That’s when I knew. That’s when I knew I was wrong of what I had done. I should’ve not attempted to hide the letter from her. Especially knowing about how Keira’s relationship stands with her parents. I could only squat down on the floor while running both of my hands through my hair in frustration of where the situation led to.  
 _“I... I want to be alone.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Shit... I’m so sorry mademoiselle. I’m sorry Keira.”

 _A few hours later:_  
After having breakfast by myself and cleaning up alone, I couldn’t stop glancing from time to time at the front door and the clock, hoping I’ll hear it unlock and her silhouette will come. But...  
“Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t even question if Keira went back to her place and would give me the cold shoulder because of what I did.”  
Sitting on the sofa, my eyes and hands just trailed at the letter that became the reason of our very first fight.

I recalled a few weeks ago that Keira had hid the letter which came from her mother asking her how she was and if she was doing okay here in London. It was obvious she had no intention of writing back, and I wouldn’t blame her. After witnessing for myself last winter at Paris of how her own mother turned her back at her and walked away without a word, the pain in Keira’s heart wasn’t easily going to heal with just one letter.  
“Keira...”  
I didn’t mean to insert myself into her relationship with her parents, but deep within the back of my mind, I couldn’t stop myself from writing back even only a one page reply to her mother.

> _I see._   
>  _You must be the person I saw who chased after Keira back in Paris._   
>  _You must be her most important person then?_
> 
> _I know that she wouldn’t return the letter I had sent to her. Especially not after everything that happened between her and us._
> 
> _But just tell Keira that we hope she stays well there in London._   
>  _That’s all her father and I wish for her._
> 
> _The both of us know that forgiveness is the least we can ask of her._

That’s all that was written on the reply letter from Keira’s mother. Taking a deep breath in and out, I then stood up from the sofa and went up to my study room and pulled out the draft letter I had used to finish the one I had sent to her mother.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle...”  
Right then and there, I knew I couldn’t let this fight break the two of us. I knew I couldn’t just stand here and think about the what if’s when what’s done is already done.  
“I don’t ever want to lose you, Keira.”  
I said to myself as I then hurriedly grabbed my scarf, coat, wallet and my keys before running straight out of the door.

 _ **“Like you’ll always find your way back home, right Joon?”**_  
 _ **“You are my home, Keira.”**_  
Those were the only words echoing inside my head and heart as I ran along the sidewalk as if there was an arrowhead showing me where I should go to find her. Leading me to where Keira was.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Wait for me, mademoiselle...”

_Early afternoon of the same day:  
Kings Heath ParkBirmingham, England, U.K._

_BGM: Rain In The Spring Time (GFRIEND)_  
I found myself at the place where somehow Keira and I found ourselves getting close with each other in the beginning. The very place where we had our first heart-to-heart talk on our first date. I don’t know how my footsteps had even led me here, but the second I found that familiar side profile that was staring intently at the letter in her hands while sitting under the big tree that was overlooking the big pond, my heart started pounding so loudly in nervousness and in relief.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
As if she had heard my whisper to the spring breeze, our eyes then instantly found each other’s.  
“M-Monsieur...”

Walking up to her, I then sat next to Keira’s side from a small distance.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Both of us just continued on with the silence until,  
“How did you find me here?”  
Keira broke the ice with one simple question.  
“To be honest, I don’t know myself mademoiselle. But... just like I had told you before, I’ll always find you Keira.”  
“Monsieur Joon...”  
As we shot a glance at each other, I didn’t hold back and told her in all honesty,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re my home, Keira. That’s why... I’m sorry. I apologize if I overstepped myself from sending that letter to your mother without telling you.”  
Before I knew it, Keira shortened the distance between us on the bench as she reached out to cup both of my hands with hers saying,  
“Can I read the letter you sent back to her then, Joon?”  
“Of course.”  
I then handed over the piece of stationery paper to her as she read it in silence.

“Now I understand...”  
“Mademoiselle...”  
Keira then took a deep breath in and out before she said to me,  
“Je suis désolé. I’m sorry, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira... my lady, why are you saying sorry to me?”  
She just gave me a sheepish smile while shaking her head saying,  
“Because I overreacted. I didn’t give you a chance to explain your side. That you were simply trying to tell that person that I was happy now, even after all that had happened. I... I’m sorry.”  
Feeling a bit surprised of Keira’s apology, I just placed my left hand on top of her head and told her,  
“No, it’s okay mademoiselle. I... I too as well shouldn’t have stuck my nose into your own business. That was wrong of me.”  
“I know you were just looking out for me, monsieur. That’s the monsieur Joon I know and love after all.”  
Keira then didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around me for an embrace as she leaned her head on my loudly pounding chest.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
“Can we please stay like this for a while, Joon?”  
“I guess this is my signal I can finally hug you then?”  
As soon as Keira nodded, I returned her hug as well. It felt so comforting to wrap her around my strong embrace again, even if it had only been hours, it felt like days had passed. That’s when I realized how much of an importance Keira was clearly to me.

Even if we had misunderstandings, I’d still do anything to make peace with her and understand her. Because... because that’s how much I love her. How much I cherish her, all of the bad and the good.

“Monsieur... can I tell you something?”  
“Always, mon chéri.”  
I held on tightly to her right hand with my left one while her head was now leaning onto my left shoulder.  
“You know... when my mother sent me that letter weeks ago... I didn’t know how to react at first. After reading it, I... I wasn’t sure if I had wanted to write back or not because...”  
“Because you don’t know if them asking about you was out of worry? Or simply out of guilt?”  
Keira nodded and continued on.  
“Y-Yes. I... I don’t know if I can simply just forgive them after all these years, monsieur...”  
As I then saw the tears falling out of Keira’s gray eyes, I grabbed my handkerchief from my coat’s pocket and used it to wipe away her tears saying,  
“Mademoiselle, it’s okay to feel that way. Forgiveness takes time. You don’t have to force yourself to forgive them now. But you’ll get there. They’re still your family after all. Hurt happens when you still feel care for them, even no matter how little or small.”  
“Monsieur...”  
Stroking Keira’s cheeks that were still a bit wet from the signs of her tears, I kissed both of her eyelids telling her,  
“And I’ll be here for you every step of the way, Keira. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”  
“Oui, I’ll hold you to that then Joon.”  
The minute Keira finally gave me a relaxed smile that warmed up my heart even in the slightly, cold spring breeze, we were both taken aback when we then felt drops of water falling over our heads.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
“...!”  
Keira and I looked at each other, bewildered of the sudden light downpour of spring rain that made us now drenched from head to toe.  
“Looks like the rain follows us wherever we go huh monsieur? From the first night we met, to our first date, and now even our first fight?”  
“Looks like it, mademoiselle. Just like how I can’t live without you, we can’t live without the rain.”  
“Don’t start with me, monsieur smooth talker.”  
The two of us just exchanged last passing laughter before I took Keira by the hand and we hugged each other while I stole one more kiss on her wet lips under the witness of the rain in the spring time.

The spring time of our very first fight, which also happened to be the last one before that cold-blooded summer.

***  
 _Winter of 1975:  
Seoul, South Korea_

> _BGM: Emotion (DREAMCATCHER)_   
>  _To: mademoiselle Keira’s mother_   
>  _dated: spring, 1975_
> 
> _Madame,_
> 
> _This is Monsieur Namjoon Kim._   
>  _Your daughter’s lover and partner._
> 
> _You might be surprised why I’m the one writing back to you. I will not elaborate so much as out of respect for Keira and her personal relationship with you as her parents._
> 
> _But I just want to let you know that she’s okay Madame. She’s happy. And I will continue to make her feel that way no matter what._
> 
> _I’m in no position to judge whatever had happened between you and your daughter, but I will just pass on something that I had learned for years now..._   
>  _“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”_
> 
> _Yours truly,_   
>  _Monsieur Kim._

_*thump* *thump*_  
“Forgiveness huh?”  
Funny how that word is haunting me day and night for months now. Folding the old letter, I just inserted it back inside my journal as I stared at the view from my office’s window.  
“It’s been a year already since that winter in Paris hasn’t it, Keira?”  
My eyes then focused on the small photo frame on my table. The photo of that one special woman with the most stunning gray eyes whom I couldn’t find it in me to forget. Her standing and smiling so prettily with the Eiffel Tower in the background.  
 _“The Eiffel Tower has always been my lighthouse ever since I was a little girl, monsieur. This place was my safe haven just like that special place of yours as well back in Birmingham.”_  
And even now, my head and heart could easily remember her voice and her words echo inside my thoughts. It was haunting and nostalgic all at once.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Bogoshipda. I... I miss you mon chéri. But...”  
I knew. I knew at the back of my mind that I had no privilege to say that anymore. Not when I was the one who turned my back at her. The one promise I swore to myself I would never do, but look at where it led me to now.

Not even the small red box that I took out of my drawer was enough to keep me from keeping due of my promise of ‘forevermore’ to that one woman.

 _*knock* *knock*_  
“Attorney Kim? Your next client is here.”  
As soon as one of the receptionist’s voice echoed behind the door, I just closed my eyes and took in a deep breath while burying my innermost feelings about Keira at the very back of my mind and placing back the small box inside the drawer. Work was the only thing that could keep me and my toes steady on the ground ever since.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Monsieur...”_  
“Yes. Please let them in then.”

And before I knew it, the months turned into seasons, and the seasons turned into years.

Just fleeting, passing years.

***  
 _2 years later..._

_Winter of 1977:_   
_Seoul, South Korea_

_BGM: Like A Fool (TWICE)_  
“File these for me and separate them by the month when the case had been filed so the prosecutors won’t make a fuss.”  
“Ah, yes. I’ll get right on it, Attorney Kim.”  
Even if it was holiday season, it was just as hectic as ever here at work. And in a flash, two mundane years had passed.  
“Haaaa... I need more caffeine to get through this day already.”  
Taking off my glasses and putting them on the table, my eyes never failed to glance at the unchanging photo staying still on the same place even after two measly years.  
 _*thump* *thump*_

> _dated: late autumn, 1975_   
>  _How are you, mademoiselle?_
> 
> _I hope you’ve been staying healthy and taking care of yourself._
> 
> _The autumn air here is just as calming as the autumn when you were with me. But not even this nostalgic season was enough to fill the void without you anymore._
> 
> _Even when I’m physically here in Seoul, it feels like my heart has been left in London. Wishing like a damn fool to be with you._
> 
> _After passing the civil examination here, I’m now working at the national courthouse here in Seoul. The days just pass by in the blink of an eye. My family and I are slowly getting used to our life here._
> 
> _With me working as a full time lawyer even here, I’m also working hard to settle the matters regarding my family. Mother cried again while accidentally mentioning you to me one night, Keira._
> 
> _And I cried too. I lost how many times already._
> 
> _Not one day goes by when I don’t wonder about you, my lady._
> 
> _But... I guess that doesn’t matter to you now right? And it never will._
> 
> _Nevertheless, it won’t stop me from writing to you. Whether you decide to read it or not, even if you throw it out or burn it or tear this letter up._
> 
> _Until the next letter then, mademoiselle._   
>  _— your once London boy, now Seoul boy, Namjoon_

Putting down the copy of the first letter I had sent to Keira two years ago as I reread it once again, I’ve been writing her constant letters all this time yet... nothing came. Not even one single reply.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Haaaa... I don’t know if this is fate’s heartless way of telling me to move on with my damn life.”  
Leaning my head back on the chair’s headrest with a long sigh, I was snapped back to reality when,  
 _*knock* *knock*_  
“Attorney Kim? Are you busy? You have visitors.”  
“A-Ah, sure. I’m not busy. They can come in.”  
And as soon as the door to my office opened, I could only blink at the unexpected silhouettes that then came in.  
“Namjoon-ah? Excuse us for the disturbance?”  
“I’m here too, oppa!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mother? G-Geong Min? What are you two doing here? No, no. It’s okay. Please come in.”  
I didn’t expect to see my mother and my younger sister to suddenly come here at my workplace. I then stood up from my seat and let them sit on the sofa facing my work table.  
“Do you two want anything to drink? Sorry but I only have coffee right now.”  
“It’s okay, Namjoon-ah. Your sister and I brought you those pastries from that bakery you liked instead.”  
“Yes. You’ve been working hard so much oppa, you really don’t know when to take it easy even now.”  
As I accepted the paper bag from my sister, I just chuckled at what they both had to say.  
“Don’t worry about me you two.”  
The two of them then exchanged soft sighs between each other as I sat back on my chair.  
“So, what brings my two favorite ladies here? Don’t tell me something happened with father and those people again?”  
Mother shook her hands and said quickly,  
“A-Ah, no! It isn’t like that at all, sweetie. Everything’s okay now, don’t worry.”  
“Okay then? That’s good to know.”  
Seeing the quite conflicted look in my mother’s eyes made me a bit curious of the real reason why the two of them were suddenly here. And then my younger sister didn’t hesitate anymore and said,  
“Oppa, I want to ask you the same question too.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“What do you mean?”  
With a sigh, she looked at me straight in my brown eyes and asked head on,  
“The three of us are okay now. But how about you? Are you okay now?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
Just like Seokjin, my little sister doesn’t know how to mince her words too.  
“It’s been two years already oppa. Mother and I know. We know you’re just trying to bury yourself busily in your work ever since what happened between you and Keira noona.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Trying to get a better grip on myself, I just put back on my glasses and took a deep breath in and out again before pointing out to my sister,  
“I’m choosing to bury myself into my work for all of our sakes, did you forget that?”  
“Cut the bullshit talk like that already oppa! Stop trying to convince yourself that you’re doing this for all of our sakes when you can’t even defend for your own happiness now!”  
“W-Wait,”  
“You refuse to acknowledge the fact that your heart is still frozen in 2 years time. And because of that, you’re choosing to shut your heart out and sacrifice your own happiness for everyone’s sake. Aren’t you tired? If you can’t see that for yourself, then you’re acting like a real fool oppa!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
After my sister raised raised her voice at me which completely left me speechless, she just excused herself from mother before stomping out of the office and slamming the door in pure frustration.

“...”  
“Namjoon-ah. I can completely understand why your younger sister said those things just now, you know.”  
“Mother...”  
“I know Namjoon-ah. I know your mind is here at present but your heart is still stuck for two years now, just like how that photo of Keira-ssi is still on your table. I know that you still keep that small red box with you. I know for a fact too that you send her letters from time to time. And overall I know... I know you’ll never get over her no matter how much you dive yourself into your work, Namjoon-ah.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“Monsieur Joon...”_  
As Keira’s haunting soft voice lingered inside my head on cue, it was as if my mother and my younger sister had opened up my eyes to the real underlying feelings I’ve been busy concealing and running away from. I was still the same coward from two years ago. Taking out the small red box from my drawer, I then asked my mother,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mother... I... I’m a real fool, aren’t I?”  
She stood up from her seat and walked up to me and gently took the framed photo of Keira from the table and placed it in my right hand while also letting me hold the red box on my left palm.  
“Thank you for everything you’ve done for the family for these past two years, Namjoon-ah. We’re all okay now. So... go after your own happiness from this point on. Sweetie, you deserve to be happy too.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mother...”  
My mother just gave me her earnest, motherly smile and told me,  
“It’s never too late to make things right, Namjoon-ah. Go. Go find her. Go find Keira-ssi.”

And with those simple words alone, tears trickled down my cheeks and it felt like my heart that was deep frozen for two years in time finally thawed and saw the light once again.

**  
 _Summer of 1978:_  
 _London, England, U.K._

 _BGM: Where are you? (CLC)_  
“Hello? Anybody home?”  
 _*knock* *knock*_  
I don’t know how many times I’ve been knocking now, but there was still no answer.  
“Where are you... mademoiselle?”  
As I was feeling lost while standing outside of Keira’s apartment, a kind looking old woman then noticed me from a distance and had decided to approach me on cue.  
“Is there something that you need help with, young lad? You seem lost?”  
With a small sigh, I just told her,  
“Ma’am, do you have any idea what time the woman who lives in this apartment room is going to come back?”  
Her whole facial expression turned puzzled at what I had to ask just now as she replied,  
“What do you mean the woman who lives here handsome lad? There hasn’t been anyone living in that apartment room you’re standing at for years now.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I felt my eyes shake and turn so wide-eyed at what I just heard with my own two ears along with the haunting thumps coming from my chest.  
“W-What do you mean nobody’s been living here?”  
“Exactly what I said, young lad. The previous person who had lived here before vacated the room for years already.”  
I couldn’t still believe at the unforeseen turn of events. I was stuck even before I got the chance to even start.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Do... do you have any idea what happened to the previous person who lived here before then, ma’am? Or where that person could be now?”  
The old lady just shrugged and shook her head saying,  
“I wish I could help you too young lad, but I have no clue to be honest. All I know is that the person moved away for personal reasons.”  
Shit. Was I too late? Was this a grim sign? I had no idea on how I should feel at that very moment.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you... thank you for telling me then, ma’am.”

As soon as the old lady excused herself and bid farewell to me, I could only lean back on the door while letting out a long sigh and telling myself,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira... w-where are you...?”  
Instead of getting answers, I was only met up with more questions after coming back these past two years.

And that was only the daunting beginning.

**  
 _The next day:_

“Madame will see you now, Sir Kim.”  
“Thank you.”  
After heading a dead end at Keira’s apartment yesterday, there could only be another possible place I can go to... even though I had no right to step into this very place ever again.

“Madame? Someone’s here to see you.”  
“Let the person in, thank you.”  
And the minute I set foot inside her office, it felt like the whole room then turned icy cold just from her gaze shooting daggers at me behind that calm facade of hers.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“It’s been a long while, hasn’t it Madame?”  
This was going to be a very long day.  
“Well, well, well. Look at what we have here? I didn’t think I’d ever see your face ever again? If I had known it was you who had asked to see me, I could’ve let myself prepare. Wouldn’t you think?”  
“Madame, I know I...”  
With a big sigh, my former boss then immediately cut me off from answering any further and just said,  
“I don’t need any damn explanation from you, Namjoon. Cut the crap. You know I despise people circling around the conversation. Just tell me the reason why you’re here at my office?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
As her sharp gaze just waited for my answer, I knew there was no use of getting more anxious than I already was, so better get this out of my chest before she decides to kick me out of the building. Yes, she can and will do that. Trust me.

 _BGM: One Way (LOONA)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Madame, with all due respect, can I ask you if you have any idea where Keira is now?”  
Before I knew it, Madame’s loud, satiric laugh echoed throughout her whole office as she now stood up from her leather chair saying to me,  
“Are you seriously thinking that inquisition of yours is going to work with me? Mr. Lawyer? Do you really see me as some sort of witness that you can easily cross-examine huh?”  
“M-Madame,”  
“For fuck’s sake Namjoon, don’t you think you’re already two years late to ask that? Don’t you realize that a lot of things can happen within these two years?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I could only flinch when she then slammed both of her hands on the table telling me next,  
“Do you have any idea what my darling Keira had to suffer because of what you did, Namjoon?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Madame...”  
With a long sigh, she grabbed the photo frame that was on her table and showed it to me next.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-This is...”  
My heart’s beating turned so loud and my eyes couldn’t stop shaking at the photo I then saw in the gold frame.  
“Keira darling is never going to forgive me for what I’m about to say next but...”  
In the photo was no other than the beautiful woman with the gray eyes I love with all of my heart and soul and... a pretty little girl with chocolate brown hair and the **most fascinating amber colored eyes** I’ve ever seen being carried around her arms.  
“M-Madame... t-this is...”  
Without even hesitating anymore, the next words that then came out of Madame’s words almost felt like a big reality slap to my face as she said,  
“Meet _**Kiana**_. **Your daughter**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Did... did I just hear that right? Did she just say...?  
“M-My... m-my daughter...? A-Are you implying that...”  
With a cynical chuckle, Madame then went back to her seat and sat down saying straightforwardly to my still, in pure disbelief face,  
“Implying that Keira was pregnant when you had decided to leave her? Then, yes. That’s my clear implication Mr. Lawyer. Even a first grader would be able to puzzle that out.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Madame...”  
Looking once again at the photo while I was still shaking in confusion, Madame then continued on.  
“A week before you had left for Italy, remember when she was sick in bed for days? And she had wanted to come along with you but you didn’t want her to do so because you were worried about her getting worse? Well, weren’t you also the one who had asked her to go see a doctor the day you left for Italy?”  
 _“K-Keira... my lady, are you okay? Should we go to the hospital? You’ve been feeling unwell lately?”  
“N-No. I’m fine... maybe I’m just feeling off because of the summer weather monsieur... don’t worry, okay?”_  
Everything is coming back. I remember how Keira was so insistent to come with me but I didn’t force her to because I didn’t want her condition to get worse. I was supposed to accompany her to the doctor but that was the same day I had to leave for Italy. And then everything just tumbled down from there.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-Then that means from that day...”  
“She waited for you during that week longingly, Namjoon. And then you just decided to never show your face again and just leave her? And you didn’t even bother to tell her goodbye straight to her face? And thought it was okay to tell her goodbye only through a letter? And now you suddenly come back and ask so simply where she is?”  
I could now feel the tears well up around the corners of my eyes.  
“M-Madame...”  
“Did you even realize that what you did almost costed the life of little Kiana during that day?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I felt my chest squeeze in real pain of what she had said lastly just now. Did I just hear that right once again?  
“W-What?”  
Trying to stop herself from tearing up at the memory, Madame had to calm herself down before she told me,  
“Damn it... just remembering what happened that day still breaks my heart so much. It’s as if it all happened yesterday.”  
“M-Madame...”  
Taking a deep breath, she looked at me straight in my brown eyes and said,  
“Wouldn’t you like to know then Namjoon? What happened the day you decided to leave London? How it was the day too that Keira had almost lost her own life and Kiana’s?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
My whole body then went numb at what then came out of Madame’s mouth. I could only clench pathetically at the framed photo on my hand as she then told me in detail of what happened that heartbreaking day.

_Summer of 1975:  
St. Thomas’ Hospital  
Central London, England, U.K._

_BGM: Around You (LOONA)_  
“Keira! Keira! Where is she?”  
“Madame, calm down.”  
“I’m sure she’s alright.”  
Madame then ran hurriedly inside the hospital’s emergency room attending area while completely ignoring her assistants who were trying to calm her down.  
“Doc, she’s not responding.”  
“What should we do now? She’s bleeding too much as well doc!”  
“I think we need more tests to make sure, but we need to get her on an I.V. and oxygen mask ASAP!”  
Upon hearing the ruckus of a woman who was brought into the emergency room while heavily bleeding, Madame could only gasp in shock and say loudly to catch their attentions,  
“Don’t you dare move her too much! That woman is pregnant!”  
“What?!”  
“She is?!”  
“K-Keira darling... please, please wake up...”  
Madame could only look very worriedly at Keira who was still bleeding and unconscious on the hospital stretcher. Taking her hand, she then stared at the doctor and nurses saying,  
“Please, help her. She’s only been pregnant for only a week and she’s been through so much already. Please. Save her and her baby.”  
The doctor and nurses exchanged worried glances at each other before they nodded and the doctor then told her,  
“We will do everything in our ability then Ma’am. Thank you for telling us about her condition. Nurse, take her to the operating room stat!”  
“Copy that, doc!”  
“Ma’am, please stay here for now. We’ll get back to you as soon as we’re done.”  
Madame could only nod helplessly as she watched anxiously the doctor and nurses tend to the still unconscious Keira.  
“M-Madame...”  
“W-What should we do now?”  
Taking a deep breath in and out, Madame wiped the tears now obvious on her face and looked at the current time on the clock telling them,  
“Now... now, we can only wait. And pray. Pray that nothing bad is going to happen to my darling Keira and her little darling.”

 _Hours later..._  
What seemed like minutes turned to an hour and what seemed like an hour turned to hours. Madame then turned to her assistants and told them,  
“You two can go home now. I bet your families are worried about you.”  
“But Madame...”  
“What about you...?”  
Madame just sighed and told them with a small smile,  
“I’m staying here. Keira darling doesn’t have anyone now. Not after what her damn excuse of parents had did to her before... and now, the man whom I thought wouldn’t do this to her, is no longer here... she has no one. She’s like a daughter I’ve never had and I wished I had. That’s why I just simply can’t leave her all alone.”  
The two assistants also exchanged passing smiles and sighs as they promised to stay with Madame until they get advice of what Keira’s condition was going to be.

“Doc... how is my darling? Is she going to be okay?”  
As soon as the doctor then came out of the operating room a few more hours right after, Madame and her assistants then approached him on cue.  
“Ma’am...”  
Feeling tense of where the doctor’s intonation was heading, Madame took another deep breath in and out saying,  
“Doc. Please tell me. How is my Keira darling and her baby?”  
The doctor then didn’t hold back and said,  
“Ma’am, it was a long run but... miraculously Miss Keira’s baby is gonna be okay... but,”  
“T-Thank goodness!”  
“T-Thank god...!”  
Her two assistants let out a big sigh in relief together before Madame then asked next still filled with worry of the doctor’s half hearted responses,  
“But? What about my darling Keira then, doc?”  
“But, she’s still unconscious and we don’t know when she’s going to wake up even though we’ve managed to stop her heavy bleeding. Miss Keira had lost a lot of blood and to be really honest, there was a huge 93% chance that the baby would’ve been miscarried but it’s a miracle that the baby survived after all her hemorrhage.”  
Madame could only massage her temples after the rather arduous pour of news she had heard with her own two ears.  
“So, it’s up to the mother now whether she wakes up or not?”  
“Hypothetically, yes.”

After a few more conversations, the doctor then took them to the _ICU_ where Keira was being monitored closely with both a heart rate monitor and an oxygen tank with the mask wrapped around her mouth, however they weren’t allowed to enter since visitation hours were already over.  
“Ma’am, I’m sorry but please stay here for now.”  
Madame couldn’t help but slap angrily at the wall outside of the _ICU_ that it made both of her assistants flinch.  
“M-Madame I know you’re worried but...”  
“P-Please do understand that the doctor means well...”  
Feeling her tears come once again, she just told the two before glancing with concern through the window at Keira’s unconscious silhouette,  
“I know... I know but why do I feel so frustrated that the person who should be standing here with us now, who should be worried as fuck as well of what’s happening to the woman he loves and to his future child... is nowhere to be seen and found now?”  
And in the silence, the only sounds they could hear echoing were the clock’s ticking and the heart rate monitor inside the _ICU_ room.

 _BGM: One Way (LOONA) cont._  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Madame...”  
My shaking still continued on and tears then streamed down my face after the rather long and heart wrenching flashback. Wiping the tears that were also now evident all over her face and smudged a bit of her mascara, Madame then told me,  
“Keira was stuck in a coma for almost 2 weeks, Namjoon. She didn’t show any signs of waking up until the _13th_ day during her coma. It was around a time where the doctor and I were deliberating whether we should let the father of the child know or not about her situation.”  
“Then...?”  
She then gave me a bit of a sarcastic look in her eyes before saying,  
“Of course I was against it. It wouldn’t have changed anything if you had known or not, right?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Continuing from that, the doctor had asked where the father of the child was and all, and the very moment I mentioned your name, you know what the reaction Keira had even when she was in a coma?”  
“Madame...”  
“Tears were the first reaction we got from her, Namjoon. Tears flowed down her closed eyes at the mention of your name. Before we knew it, her fingers started showing signs of moving.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I don’t know how I should feel upon hearing that. I don’t know how I should feel upon hearing that entire story from Madame herself. I don’t know how I’m able to forgive myself now for what I had done to not only her, to Keira, and to even my own daughter, Kiana.  
“I...”  
“Do you understand now? Do you understand now the consequences of what you had done? Do you understand that you might have chosen to protect your family back in Seoul but you had to abandon your own family with Keira?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Clenching my other hand that wasn’t holding on to the frame into a fist, I then told her with my voice’s tone growing louder unknowingly,  
“I know...! I know now Madame! I... I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. I feel so confused and overwhelmed right now. How would you feel if someone just tells you after two years that you suddenly have a child? She didn’t even bother to return any of my letters to her for the last two years!”  
With another sigh, she then opened a part of the drawer on her table and took out not only one but a lot of familiar looking envelopes and placed them on her table.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-Those are...”  
“You mean these letters?”  
Madame took one of the unopened letters and then said to me,  
“Since you couldn’t find Keira in her apartment, you thought she would still be here? That’s why you came here in the first place, right?”  
“M-Madame... w-why do you have those letters then?”  
She laughed mockingly at me next while I could feel my frustration bubbling up.  
“Because she was gone from London the minute you started sending them, Namjoon.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
 _“The previous person who had lived here before vacated the room for years already.”_  
It’s all starting to make sense now. What that old lady had said while I was standing outside of Keira’s old apartment. Why Keira never responded to any of my letters for these two years.  
“And if you think I’m going to tell you where Keira and her little darling is now, don’t even bother Namjoon.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Why... why would you say that Madame?”  
Standing up again from her chair, she walked up to me and looked at me mercilessly with her intense gaze while letting her long nailed pointing finger dig into my chest before saying,  
“Because my darling Keira is better off without you, Namjoon. You should’ve known better. This is the kind of heartbreak that not even time could mend for you.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_

After that rather very painful conversation, Madame just handed over the unread letters to me and soon right after, she asked me to leave her office right before telling me her last parting words,  
“If you’re so keen on finding her, don’t even think for a second that she would want to see you, Namjoon. _Crying over you_ again is the last thing you would want for Keira. Remember that.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Little droplets of tears just fell onto the envelopes that were now being held on tightly by both of my hands as I walked out of Madame’s office feeling more confused and emotionally beaten up as ever.  
 _“Meet Kiana. Your daughter.”  
“Keira is better off without you, Namjoon.”_  
“W-Who knew... who knew these two years that felt so passing to me... was this hurtful for you Keira...”

With that being said, the imagery of Keira being stuck in the hospital bed two years ago was more than enough for me to tear up on repeat as I made my one way back unsuccessful, like fate had always wanted it to be.  
 _“Go. Go find her. Go find Keira-ssi.”_  
“W-What am I supposed to do now... mother...”

**  
 _A month later...  
Summer of 1978  
By the garden below the Eiffel Tower:  
Paris, France_

 _BGM: Where you at (LOONA)_  
I was sitting under the same tree and by the same bench overlooking the _Eiffel Tower_. Even though Keira wasn’t right next to me physically, it still felt like she was here with me now. Admiring the view just like that same night before, only now... things were a whole lot different. But the same one question still repeated inside my head over and over again like a sick melody.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Where in the world could you be, Keira...?”  
Not to mention, what happened today also played back inside my thoughts. The very day I had decided to use my one last feasible option left. The day I had decided to visit Keira’s parents for the first time.

_Hours ago...  
Along Trocadéro neighborhood:  
Paris, France_

_*knock* *knock*_  
“This is now or never, Namjoon.”  
I whispered to myself as I knocked on the front door to the stunning two floored mansion that belonged to Keira’s parents. It looked like a white mini-castle with more than 10 glass window panels and had a _Tudor_ architectural style with a royal blue colored roofing.  
“Oui, oui. J'arrive.”  
The minute the door opened, I was then greeted with a pair of very _identical gray eyes_ just like hers and had light blonde hair. The same features I had seen that particular winter. It was no question. The woman standing in front of my sight was no other than Keira’s mother herself.  
“Bon après-midi monsieur. What can I do for you?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Good afternoon madam. Or more precisely... you’re mademoiselle Keira’s mother. My name is Namjoon Kim.”  
She could only blink in disbelief of my words as she stared at me in silence before she then said while crossing both of her arms,  
“Alors, tu es lui? So, you’re him then? Who would’ve thought.”  
I don’t know why. I don’t know why I’m getting the strange gut feeling that even though she and Keira had the same identical gray eyes, her mother’s gray eyes felt distant. The complete opposite of how Keira’s gray eyes make me feel.  
“Madam, can I talk to you? It’s important.”  
“Well if you insist. It would be rude to ask you to leave after you came all this way, right?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Now I know where Keira gets her feisty side from then.  
“Merci madam.”  
She then escorted me inside their home in silence. The house might be too big for three people, well, two people ever since Keira had moved out, and it was really quiet as well.

“I hope you don’t mind tea then, monsieur?”  
“Ah no, it’s okay madam.”  
We were now sitting across from each other in the living room’s sofas. The whole house was a mix of whites, gray, and pale blue color schemes. As Keira’s mother put down her cup of tea in the table, she then asked me,  
“I take it you didn’t come here for a house tour, monsieur Kim. Did she ask you to come here yourself?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I don’t know if she was being sarcastic with me right now or not with where her voice’s tone is going, but all I knew was I shouldn’t feel intimidated. For I will respect her both as a person and as Keira’s mother even though I barely knew her.  
“With all due respect madam, I came here as a last resort to find Keira. We’ve lost touch for two years. But it looks like even coming all the way here from Seoul proved to be pointless.”  
As her eyebrows then arched up in curiosity,  
“Did you really think you’d find her here? She hasn’t stepped foot into this house for years, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Was she really the same woman who wrote that letter back to me years ago? Just by facing her right now, I don’t know what to believe.  
“Madam, aren’t you the least worried about Keira? That wasn’t the intonation you had when you wrote back to me in the past.”  
Keira’s mother just chuckled at my response telling me,  
“Maybe? I don’t know what drove me to write that reply letter back to you those years ago. Maybe it was because I didn’t expect her to come back to Paris that one winter and even see her? I think it was my conscience trying to reach out to me.”  
“Then? Why didn’t you try to reach out to her harder?”  
She then clapped back at me by saying,  
“Weren’t you the one who said you wouldn’t judge whatever happened between my daughter and I? If she doesn’t come back, that’s her own choice, monsieur. She made her choice. My husband and I wanted better things for her, but instead she chose to walk out of the door and never turn back.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“My parents wanted a different path for me, but I wanted to follow my own. They never understood that. Not even once. That’s why, being on my own for the first time felt like real freedom for me, monsieur.”_  
Feeling my anger rise up from what I was hearing, I had to extend my patience for Keira’s sake. Only for her sake.  
“Madam. To be real honest with you, Keira’s an amazing woman. She’s a really talented and hardworking author. She’s kindhearted but she can also be very stubborn just like I am. She loves the finest of clothes, yet loves the simplest of flowers. You would think that someone beautiful as her grew up in a perfect environment but,”  
“What are you trying to insinuate then, monsieur?”  
Looking into the gray eyes of her mother, I didn’t hold back anymore and said,  
“You never saw her for what she really was, madam. You never gave her a chance to stay. You let her go instead of holding on to her.”  
“And who gave you the right to say that then huh? You’re an outsider, monsieur.”

 _*thump* *thump*_  
And with that one question, I stood up from where I was sitting and unfolded the familiar piece of paper I was keeping in my pocket and placed it on the coffee table forcefully saying,  
“That’s because I’ve done the same thing the two of you had done! And I regret it! Every. Single. Day. For the past two years, I regret turning my back at the woman who became the most important person in my life. I hated myself for being a reason why she may be crying wherever she is now. I regret being not by her side when she needed me the most. I regret breaking her heart when I was the one who was supposed to protect it.”  
“...”

When Keira’s mother just continued to look at me in distrust, I saw no point of staying any longer. I was about to head for the front door until,  
“I didn’t know that you expected a visitor today, _mon amour_?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I could only stand frozen the second a tall man with hazelnut colored brown hair and _ocean blue eyes_ closed the main front door behind him. The man was no other than Keira’s father in the flesh.  
“ _Ma chère_ , you’re back already?”  
“Our meeting got called off at the last minute. Who’s this young lad by the way?”  
Even though the tone from Keira’s father sounded so docile, he had that strict aura around him.  
“Well, this young man is...”  
When Keira’s mother was about to say my name, I formally cut her off as I politely bowed my head slightly to Keira’s father saying,  
“Bon après-midi monsieur, I’m Namjoon Kim.”  
“Oh, I see then. What brings you here to our humble home?”  
Humble home? Really? As I was about to reply, Keira’s mother inserted quickly,  
“ _Ma chère_ , this man here is the one Keira’s been seeing. The one I mentioned to you before.”  
Keira’s father couldn’t help but let out a laugh as just said next,  
“Is that so? I take it she might have done something again, that’s why you’re here? What could she have possibly done again this time?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I thought that maybe Keira’s father was somehow less uptight than her mother, but I guess... I guess I was wrong as well. I couldn’t bear to stand here any longer as I just told them before opening the front door,  
“Not to be disrespectful to the parents of the woman I love, but I don’t ever want to hear anybody badmouthing her. Much more coming from her very own parents.”  
“You should’ve minded your own business, monsieur. There’s no place for you to meddle in our family’s affairs.”  
“ _Ma chère_...”  
As I walked out of the door, I just looked at Keira’s parents for one last time and said with a wry smile,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I know. I know I have no place to meddle in the first place because I too had left Keira when she needed me the most, but I guess... I guess you still do consider her as your family at the least. And she’s my family also. That’s why. I’m not going to give up on her. Never again.”  
“...”  
“...”

I don’t know if I managed to prove out my point judging from their queer silence but I just continued walking. Was it really okay to leave like this? It felt like my conscience was trying to tell me that I missed one last important thing to say as my mother’s own words lingered in my thoughts going,  
 _“Namjoon-ah, it’s never too late to ask someone for forgiveness. It’ll take time but as long as you don’t give up, it’ll be all worthwhile in the end.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“I know it’s not my place to say this as well, but it’s not too late to show even a little care for your granddaughter this time around, madam, monsieur. Will you really forsake her also just like what you did with Keira?”  
“Monsieur...! What do you...!”  
Before they could stop me, I didn’t look back at them anymore and just continued on my own way. Right at that point, I now understood why Keira felt like the big house was more of a house only, but never a home.

“Your parents were my last ticket to finding you, mademoiselle... but now,”  
After that unfortunate attempt and recollection of what happened, I was at another dead end. If you’re not here in Paris, and not in London, just where could you be?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Where... where are you Keira?”  
Looking up at the summer sky in Paris with the _Eiffel Tower_ gleaming so elegantly for the night, I just prayed that wherever she might be, Keira and I were staring at the same sky.

That was the only thing I could assure to myself tragically while holding on to the small red box in my left hand.

***  
 _Spring of 1979:  
Seoul, South Korea_

> _BGM: Butterfly Effect (Rothy)  
>  dated: spring, 1978_
> 
> _Dear Keira,  
>  “ **Love is so short, forgetting is so long**.”_
> 
> _I stumbled upon that one poem’s line in one of the poetry books I brought and it reminded me so much of us. It reminded me of the fleeting memories we made together, just like how even one petal from a cherry blossom flower can tell a thousand stories._
> 
> _I’m writing this letter to you while watching the cherry blossom trees sway and dance along in the spring breeze. You would have adored something like flower viewing here._
> 
> _Did you know that you can make a wish when a flower petal lands on your hand by accident? You’d probably laugh at me being all superstitious again, but... if I could make a wish right here, right now... there’s only one thing I’d wish for anything in the world._
> 
> _And that’s to see you. Even for one last time._
> 
> _I hope you think of me as much as I think of you.  
>  All my love,  
> — monsieur Joon_

The seasons changed.

However, the heaviness in my heart still remained because finding Keira proved to be the most difficult case I have no idea yet on how to solve.  
“Attorney Kim, your next hearing is in two hours.”  
“I understand. Thank you.”  
As my assistant exited the office and left me alone, my head just swirled in a lot of afflicting thoughts after another. Especially regarding what happened in the past months.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Not even going back to all the places we’ve been to together in the past helped. From that café behind the mall in Birmingham, to the museums and libraries we went to, to my safe haven that only you and I knew, and also going to both of our alma maters proved to be futile... why does it feel like you really disappeared without a trace Keira?”  
I asked help from my friends back in _Cambridge_ but unluckily, no word about where you could be as well. My parents and younger sister are also offering me their support and helping me to find Keira from time to time. The me right now felt like he was living two different lives.  
“The one who currently lives here in Seoul, and the other one who travels on a timely basis in search of that most important woman in his life.”  
I really thought double lives only existed in books I had read, but who knew it also can come true to life? Yet it had to exist in the most disheartening way possible.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“My lady... just give me a sign. At least one.”

As I felt my brown eyes sadden at the sight of Keira’s still smiling photo on the table, I just sighed to myself before,  
“Um, excuse me Attorney Kim?”  
“Is something wrong?”  
I snapped back to reality as soon as my assistant came back into the room saying,  
“I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but overhear what you were saying just now...”  
As his curious brown eyes then went to the photo frame on my table, I smiled at him and took the frame, making it face him as I said,  
“You must already know this but she’s the reason why I’m here in Seoul today and the next days ahead I’m somewhere around Europe trying to find her, like finding a needle in a haystack.”  
“I know Attorney Kim, she’s indeed beautiful and seems good-hearted behind her bright smile.”  
I don’t know why. I don’t know why at this moment, talking about Keira now made my chest feel all weird, but in a good way. Before, just at the mere mention of her name got me and my emotions tangled up for words, yet now...  
“Yes... yes she is. Thank you for saying that. I really needed it.”  
“Attorney Kim, not to be nosy but, I’m sure. I’m sure you’re going to find her. **Sometimes, we think that the answer is so hard to find, although, the answer was right in front of us all along**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
My assistant’s words left me astounded that it got my heart pounding on cue. His words... his words were so simple yet, it was genuine in every way.  
 _“The answer was right in front of us all along.”_  
Maybe... just maybe I was looking at a wrong perspective. Maybe I shouldn’t think way too out of the box like with what I’ve been doing.  
“I’ll be sure to remember that. Thank you again. You’re really wise, I should say.”  
“I’ve seen it firsthand how hard you’re working as a lawyer Attorney Kim while also working hard to find the lady in the photo. Your uphill battle will bear fruit, I just know it.”  
He just flashed me a reassuring smile before he politely bowed to me and excused himself out.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Your uphill battle will bear fruit huh?”  
Even if I was getting drained over fate toying around with me, I’m thankful of the people who pick me back up on my feet, like what occurred just now. Like what my parents and young sister have been doing. And I remind myself on repeat like a mantra,  
“Why should I give up now when I still love you this much, right Keira?”  
I’m not taking the coward’s way out. I’m not making the same mistake again.

 _*knock* *knock*_  
“Attorney Kim? Your next client, the _Jeon’s_ are here to see you.”  
Suddenly feeling motivated, I just pushed back my spectacles and took a deep breath in and out saying,  
“Please let them in now.”

No matter how arduous the road was going to be for me, as long as I’ll get closer to the truth little by little of where she is now, I don’t mind the baby steps.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Not even this shit called fate is enough to make me give up on you Keira. I will find you. Whatever it takes.”

***  
 _Summer of 1980:_  
 _Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: Missing you (SOYOU, Mad Clown)_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“So this is the place huh...?”  
After stepping out of the train station, my brown eyes couldn’t stop trembling at the unfamiliar but scenic town I was now at. It was more than a two hour train ride from Paris, but who would’ve thought that this _coastal town_ here is where you were all along, Keira.  
 _“The answer was right in front of us all along.”_  
My assistant’s still profound words echoed inside my head.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“It really took me two years to finally get to where you are. Four years of longing loneliness without you.”  
As my gaze instantly found itself staring zealously towards the town’s beautiful coastal sea view, I gripped on tightly to the letter that brought me here. The letter that became the key I’ve been searching for greatly. The letter from Seokjin himself.

_A few days ago...  
Seoul, South Korea_

“I’ll look more into it. I’ll let my assistant reach out to you soon.”  
“Thank you Attorney Kim.”  
Work was keeping me preoccupied, while things were still stagnant when it came to me finding Keira. I was convinced of that until,  
 _*knock* *knock*_  
“Attorney Kim, can I come in?”  
“Good timing. Yes, please do.”  
As soon as my assistant entered the office, he gave me a bit perturbed expression that made me ask him on cue,  
“Is something the matter? You’re awfully quiet at the moment. It’s even making me nervous.”  
“Um well... let’s just say that a letter addressed to you came.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I could feel myself gulp restlessly at what I had heard.  
“D-Does it say where it came from? And from whom?”  
Approaching my table, he then placed down the enclosed envelope which had my name on it as he said,  
“It didn’t say who it was from, but it came all the way from Italy, Attorney Kim.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Well, I’ll excuse myself then.”  
After he left me alone in my office, I just continued to stare in doubt at the letter that was now in my hands.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“From Italy... there could only be one person behind this. But... why just now?”  
Without even feeling uncertainty any longer, I opened the envelope, then took out the folded piece of paper and read along the letter’s message which had a very familiar penmanship.

> _Namjoon-ah,_
> 
> _I bet you’re surprised to get this letter from your hyung huh?_
> 
> _I’m sorry if I hadn’t reached out to you until now. Let’s just say I had a lot to deal with on my own plate, but... I heard from the guys you’re still looking for Keira-ssi all these years?_
> 
> _Namjoon-ah, I’m not going to beat around the bush so let me just tell you that you should stop looking for her in the most obvious places, especially places that hold a lot of your memories together._
> 
> _If I had wanted to get away from the loud bustle of the city and to start anew, where would I go?_   
>  _That’s the question you should ask yourself, Namjoon-ah._
> 
> _You’re a lawyer, you do know that France is not only made up of Paris, right?_   
>  _You were always the one who told me that the world is indeed a big place._
> 
> _I hope you’re not going to let fate decide what’s going to happen between you and Keira-ssi._
> 
> _If I know anyone who’s crazy enough to defy what fate had planned, that someone would definitely be you, Kim Namjoon._   
>  _You can only feel one special connection with someone in this life, and I know that yours will always be with her, Namjoon-ah._
> 
> _The future is still uncertain, but who says the present isn’t?_   
>  _I know you’ll find her. You most definitely will._   
>  _— your hyung, Kim Seokjin_

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Jin hyung...”  
 _“You were always the one who told me that the world is indeed a big place.”_  
His whole letter was a big hint of where I should start looking again. I don’t know how Seokjin does it even after all these years. He always knew the things to say at the right time when I need it. It was like **as if he knew the future or something mysterious like that**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You really are a lifesaver even now, Jin hyung.”  
I then asked my assistant for help in narrowing down the places all over France on where Keira could be. Before I knew it, the slim chances of ever finding that one woman became a possibility. A believable possibility.

And that’s how I found myself here in _Northern France_. After the past sleepless nights of deciding whether this place was really where Keira was or not, I took the risk anyway. What more do I have to lose more than I already did?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Even though I’ve imagined thousands of times what it would be like to see you again, what would really happen if it comes true, mademoiselle?”  
I asked myself while I walked along and explored the foreign, but somehow cozy looking town.

 _A few hours later..._  
After settling my things at the hotel I was staying at and roaming around the town in search of her silhouette, I now found myself walking around the town’s inviting white sanded beach front.  
“I still have no idea if you’re even in this place or not mademoiselle... but maybe it was worth coming here because one look at the sea, it felt like all of my anxiousness evaporated and was taken away by the sea’s waves.”

While I was busy having aching monologues to myself, I then noticed a little girl with hauntingly similar chocolate brown hair that seemed familiar to me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“A-Ahh~ come here Mr. Crab...! Why do you keep running away...?”  
She was trying to chase around with her small feet the crabs that were on the sand. I wonder why a little girl like her is alone? Where are her parents?  
“A-Ah...!”  
Being quick, I ran towards her and gently pulled her back by the shoulders before the tiny crab was about to pinch her with its claws. With a relieved sigh of being able to come to her just in time, I said,  
“Now, now little miss... crabs are friendly creatures but if you keep on doing that, they’re going to feel more scared.”  
“Really?! Thank you~ merci beaucoup beau monsieur...!”  
As she then turned around to face me, I felt my whole head to toes black out at the sight of the little girl’s beckoning pair of **_amber colored eyes_**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
It couldn’t be right?  
“Oh... you’re _French_ then? Can I ask for your name little mademoiselle?”  
“Well, it’s...!”  
As I could hear the very heavy pounding from my chest grow louder and louder with every second passing, that didn’t compare to the next voice that then echoed both of my ears. The voice that me feel alive and deaf all at the same time.  
“K-Kiana _ma chérie_...!”  
“ _Maman_...!”

 _BGM: It’s too late (CLC)  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I could hear the loudest thumping off my chest the very second I found the _gray eyes_ I’ve been desperately searching for the past two years. The same eyes I haven’t seen for the past four years. Even in all the years I haven’t seen her, the very moment I laid eyes on her once again, dressed so immaculately in that peach colored, tie neck pleat detail, balloon sleeve dress that was perfect for her, and her now even longer hair being blown by the summer breeze and her hoop earrings dancing in the wind as well, I was instantly captivated all over again.

It was as if I was transported back to the very day inside that ballroom where I couldn’t look at any woman around me, aside from her. Only her.  
“I... I finally found you... mademoiselle Keira.”  
As those words escaped my mouth, Keira could only look at me antipathetically. That was to be expected. It was as if she was disgusted by the thought of seeing me again when I was the one who told her she shouldn’t wait for me. And here I was, standing in front of her after these long four years.  
“Maman, est-ce que ça va?”  
The little girl with the big, round, amber colored eyes just tugged on tightly to the bottom of her dress before Keira looked at her and caressed her small cheeks saying with a smile in French,  
“Ne t'inquiète pas, ce n'est rien ma chérie...”  
After studying a bit of French back when I was at Seoul, I could now understand what they were saying to each other. And I understood it clearly that the little girl with the amber eyes was really no other than Keira’s daughter. She was no other than our daughter. **My daughter named Kiana**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle...”  
When I was about to walk up closer to them, Keira immediately gave me a glare through those gray eyes of hers while gently pulling back Kiana saying,  
“Don’t you dare take one more step closer, monsieur. Ne t'approche pas.”  
“K-Keira...”  
The two of us could only stare at each other in silence as another summer breeze passed by and the sea’s waves echoed along together. We were then snapped back to reality when,  
“Keira? Kiana?”  
“Ah! Maman look!”  
An unfamiliar voice and silhouette then came running towards us but judging from the big smile that then appeared on little Kiana’s face, the woman was someone they both knew.  
“Auntie Risa! You came!”  
“Risa...”  
As the woman’s _brown eyes_ first stared worriedly at Keira’s gray ones, she then gave me a quick frown as if she knew who I was.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“No wonder I couldn’t find the two of you at the usual spot. I see then. Keira, is it okay if I take Kiana with me for now?”  
Keira just nodded without hesitation and said to our little girl,  
“Ma chérie, go with your tata Risa for now okay? Maman will be right with you.”  
“Oui, maman.”  
Kiana then peeked towards my gaze and said so innocently behind those sweet, amber eyes of hers,  
“Bye bye beau monsieur~ merci for helping me...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I felt my heart squeeze both in pain and in happiness on cue. The woman named Risa then told Kiana while gently taking her hand,  
“Kiana, sweetie, let’s go pick some shells over there while we wait for mommy okay?”  
“Okay!”  
As the two of them then exited the scene before things could turn even more awkward than it already was, I could only hear Keira’s deep sigh as she crossed her arms while staring sadly with her gray gaze at the sea.

“...”  
“...”  
The two of us just maintained our silence at each other while Keira of course refused to meet my eyes as she kept her stare steadied towards the sea and I refused to take my eyes off of her.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
When I was about to reach out to touch her hand, she quickly slapped it away and said to me with her whole expression and her gray eyes almost turning teary-eyed,  
“Ne me touche pas...!”  
“K-Keira...”  
It felt like I was being stabbed right straight into my chest at how in the last four years I haven’t seen her, the first expression she’d give me was a very hurt one. And I’m the sole reason for it. To think I’d hear from her very mouth the words, ‘ _don’t touch me!_ ’ with tears slowly forming around her eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Pourquoi es-tu même ici m-monsieur...?”  
Wiping the now obvious tears flowing from her eyes, she asked me why I was even here now.  
“I... I know I have no rights to say this, but I came to find you mademoiselle. I came to look for you even though I’m the least person you wanted to ever see once again.”  
Her gray eyes then couldn’t stop shaking as she asked,  
“Y-You can understand what I’m saying?”  
I had no reason not to nod as I told her,  
“Yes... I can understand you now Keira...”  
But then her expression then turned even more somber than it already was as she replied on cue,  
“I-Is that so then? Then I won’t hold back... tu es mort pour moi monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 ** _“You’re dead to me.”_**  
“Keira... please...”  
Keira’s words were sharper than any knife as she continued on,  
“Je ne veux pas me parler à quelqu'un de mort.”  
 ** _“I don’t want to talk to someone dead to me.”_**  
With every hurtful word, with every tear streaming down her cheeks, with every excruciating thump coming from my chest, it felt absolutely the worst. It was wishful thinking but I’d rather be shot dead or stabbed to death right now instead of having to witness what I had done to the woman in front of me.  
“Mademoiselle... I...”  
Keira just shook her head and wiped more of her tears before she told me lastly with a cruel smile,  
“Au revoir, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
As much as I had wanted to take her hand and wrap her around my arms and tell her everything I had wanted to say, I just watched Keira turn her back at me and walked away as the beach’s breeze comforted her and her footprints were being left on the white sand.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”  
I could only whisper her name to the wind and the sea’s waves as I felt my tears also coming forth as I watched little Kiana then run straight into her arms and her embrace.

It really felt like my whole heart and my whole soul was being shattered right in front of my very eyes in this scenic beach as I still could recall vividly what Madame had told me two years ago.  
“Namjoon? Do you want to know why Keira named her Kiana?”  
“Madame...”  
“Kiana means _divine and heavenly_. She was sent by the heavens to make Keira happy even with everything that has happened. To stay by Keira’s side, like the little miracle that she is, even though it was almost too late that day.”  
Her next words then lingered like a haunting song as she said,  
“But when I asked Keira why she named her Kiana, she just told me... ‘ **Kia** ’ is taken from my name while ‘ **Na** ’ is from Namjoon’s name, for me it’s simple as that Madame...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
And with that simple, but regrettable recollection from my innermost thoughts, I was reminded again of the greatest mistake I had ever done in this life while remembering Keira’s words as I could only tell myself next,  
 _“You’re dead to me, monsieur.”_  
“I’m... I’m so sorry... Keira... Kiana...”

**  
 _The next day:_

 _BGM: What should I do (CLC)_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I don’t know how I ended up here in front of Keira’s doorsteps, but after what happened yesterday by the beach, I... I just couldn’t easily give up. Not after it took me all these years to find her. To find her with our daughter.  
“It’s now or never, Namjoon...”  
 _*knock* *knock*_  
After taking a deep breath in and out, I gathered enough courage to knock on the front door at past seven in the early morning.  
“Oh! Maman! Looks like someone’s at the door?”  
“Vraiment? Who could it be this early?”  
I just gulped nervously again upon hearing the familiar voices echoing inside while carrying the slightly heavy paper bags I had in my hands.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Don’t back out now, Namjoon...”  
I told myself in a whisper as I then could hear tiny footsteps nearing the doorstep where I was standing at.  
“I’ll open it and see who it is then, Maman!”  
“Merci, ma chérie. I’ll be right there!”  
The moment I was then greeted by those big, round, and fascinating amber colored eyes in awe as soon as the front door opened, it felt like all of my nerves then vanished in thin air as she looked up at my brown ones.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Good morning, little mademoiselle.”  
“Oh...! You’re...!”  
And before I knew it, a familiar pair of gray then came into the scene on cue as she said while her footsteps echoed inside my hearing,  
“Ma chérie? Who’s at the front d—-?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Maman! Look! The beau monsieur is here...!”  
“...”  
As much as little Kiana was excited to see me appearing in their doorstep, it was the opposite reaction when it came to Keira. However, even with the quite troubled expression she was making, my heart couldn’t stop pounding like a fool the second I looked at her in the lovely blue and green floral printed dress she was wearing, with her hair tied up in a messy ponytail.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Damn. Snap out of it, Namjoon.  
“G-Good morning. Sorry for suddenly coming unannounced.”  
With a long sigh, Keira just took off her hair tie and asked me with a slight frown,  
“What are you doing here this early, monsieur?”  
“L-Let’s just say I was around the neighborhood and decided to pass by...?”  
Trying to make the conversation less awkward than it already was, little Kiana then broke the silence by saying,  
“Hmm? Why does Kiana suddenly smell pancakes?”  
As I realized what she was trying to say, I then handed over the pale blue paper bag to her and said,  
“Now that you mentioned it, this is for you by the way, little mademoiselle.”  
“For me? Pour moi?”  
Little Kiana looked at me a bit confused as she accepted the paper bag with her small hands before I nodded.  
“Yes, it’s for you. And, I brought pancakes too for breakfast.”  
At the mention of ‘ _pancakes_ ,’ her amber eyes then turned wide in glee as she then found Keira’s gaze saying excitedly,  
“Maman! Beau monsieur said he brought pancakes! Can he please stay?”  
As I also found Keira’s gaze, she just ignored my eye contact and focused on Kiana’s while giving her a small smile, right before she passed by me and walked back to where she came from earlier when I came.  
“Well, wouldn’t it be rude to drive someone out especially if they brought pancakes huh? Whatever you want, ma chérie.”  
Leave it to Keira to mix such cold words beneath that warm smile of hers.  
“Since Maman said yes already, you’re free to come in beau monsieur!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“E-Excuse me for the intrusion then.”  
Trying to calm myself down of where things were going, I just followed little Kiana after closing the door behind me and as she led me to their living room while Keira’s silhouette was somewhere in the kitchen next to it.

“Hmm...”  
“...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
It was nerve-wrecking as Kiana didn’t avert her curious gaze from me for a while now as she was still holding on to the paper bag I had given to her.  
“P-Penny for your thoughts, little mademoiselle?”  
“Hmm... nothing? It just feels like Kiana has seen you somewhere before?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
How could a four-year old ask such inquisitive questions? As I was about to say something, I was then taken aback when Keira’s voice then echoed while placing a cup of tea on the coffee table right beside me with a caustic look on her face.  
“Sometimes I wonder where she gets her bold questions and curiosity from. I hope you don’t mind jasmine tea only, Monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Sure, it’s no problem. Thank you. And take these pancakes by the way.”  
Keira was so good as avoiding any eye contact with me that she didn’t even need to look me in the eye as she accepted the other paper bag I was carrying and turned to Kiana saying,  
“Ma chérie, come and eat your cereal. And of course, the pancakes this monsieur has brought for you.”  
“Oui, maman!”  
Whatever Keira seemed to say, little Kiana didn’t hesitate to follow her instantly that it made my heart squeeze at the sight of it.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”

Keira’s home was really eccentric with all the colorful wallpapers and even the spiral staircase that you’d see first thing you’d step into the house. As I was busy distracting myself with the house’s structure, I blinked the minute I heard a plate being placed right next to my cup of tea.  
“?”  
“Beau monsieur? Maman and Kiana really can’t finish the pancakes since they’re so many... so you can share too!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
When Kiana gave me a wide smile, my chest felt all warm and fuzzy at what she had to say and the realization too that she also had **dimples on both sides of her cheeks**. Just like I do. And... her little smile was really radiant like the morning sun, just like the smile of her mother.  
“Merci, little mademoiselle.”  
Keira meanwhile was also too busy distracting herself in the kitchen and would only talk if Kiana was around.  
“Hmmm... is it okay if Kiana opens this now?”  
Kiana asked me curiously as she sat right beside me on the sofa. I didn’t hesitate to nod back and say,  
“Of course.”  
Next thing I knew it, she happily opened the paper bag and her amber eyes couldn’t stop shaking as she gently pulled out what was inside.  
“W-Wow! Si mignon si mignon...!”  
“I hope you like it, little mademoiselle.”  
Kiana just nodded merrily before she then hurried off to show Keira the gift on cue.  
“Maman! Maman! Look! Look at this cute _blue koala_ stuffed animal beau monsieur gave me! It’s so fluffy! And the koala has a _purple nose_...!”  
Keira, even though her eyes were slowly turning sad in my view, of course couldn’t help but smile at the little one’s excited tone while caressing her cheeks saying,  
“Well, aren’t you a lucky little lady? What are you supposed to say right after?”  
Kiana then went back to where I was and said while embracing the blue koala around her small arms with the biggest smile on her adorable face,  
“Merci beaucoup beau monsieur! Thank you! Koalas are my favorite animal too~”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
As much as I wanted to hug my daughter around my arms, I knew for a fact that I didn’t deserve that right yet and I probably never will, and with that, I could only return her smile with another smile forming on my lips saying,  
“You’re welcome, little mademoiselle.”

 _BGM: Falling Out (LUNA)_  
Kiana then ran up to where her room was and disappeared from the living room, leaving only Keira and I all alone.  
“K-Keira...”  
As soon as I unknowingly caught her gray gaze with mine, she then told me straightforwardly,  
“We need to talk, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Her serious voice could only make me gulp restlessly as she followed up and said,  
“But I don’t want Kiana to hear anything, so let’s talk by the beach.”  
“I understand. But are you sure it’s okay to leave her alone?”  
Grabbing her keys and white cardigan, Keira’s voice then echoed the house going,  
“Kiana, ma chérie! Maman is going out for a little bit. I’ll lock the front door so stay in your room, okay?”  
Kiana’s voice then replied instantly,  
“Oui Maman!”  
Keira then told me sneeringly before she opened the front door,  
“She may only be four years old, but she’s pretty responsible already for her young age unlike most people, even adults included. Wouldn’t you think?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-I see...”  
Even a first grader could tell that her dismal words were meant for no other person than me obviously.

While walking towards the beach, my eyes could only follow Keira’s silhouette shining brighter than the morning sun through my gaze. The way her hair was dancing prettily because of the breeze and her gray eyes almost looked like they were glimmering while staring at the vast blue sea.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
It still felt unreal how much my feelings for her kept on increasing, but in Keira’s case, it must have been the opposite already.  
“Mademoiselle...”  
The moment she stopped walking, Keira then turned around to face me as we were standing in front of each other from a short distance before she asked me,  
“Monsieur... why are you still here? Didn’t I tell you yesterday that you’re dead to me? W-Why... w-why are you here now?”  
Before I knew it, my heart crumbled the second Keira’s tears glistened underneath the witness of the early morning summer sky.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira... m-mademoiselle... p-please don’t cry... please...”  
As much as I had wanted to come near her and wipe the tears from her face that did not deserve any of those sad waterworks, I had to stop myself because I had no rights whatsoever anymore to be that person for her.  
“I-It feels like seeing you after all these years since you’ve decided to never show your face to me again... i-it feels like all the pain I’ve been strongly holding back came forth over again... do you even know how confused I feel right now, Monsieur?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira... I know... I know I’m four years too late already but... but how can I leave you alone now that I found you again? E-Especially since I found you with our daughter now?”  
Keira’s gray eyes couldn’t stop shaking in shock of what she heard with her own two ears.  
“H-How do you...?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I know... I know Kiana is our daughter, mademoiselle. Madame told me everything, Keira.”  
And just by those simple words, Keira’s tears continued pouring down as she said hoarsely,  
“S-Shit. Why did Madame have to open her mouth... w-why... why now...”  
“Keira... please let me just explain...”  
As I tried to come closer, Keira then yelled out as she tightened her grip around her cardigan,  
“Don’t come closer to me monsieur!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
Wiping her tears, she just looked at me with the most feigned smile written on her lips and told me,  
“J-Just because you know everything now doesn’t erase the fact of what you had done, Monsieur. Just because you decided to come back... it doesn’t mean all the pain and hardships I had to endure by myself without you would just evaporate into the thin air like magic... because this wasn’t a fairytale, this is reality.”  
And right at that very moment in time, my tears also came streaming down under the witness of the summer sky.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
“I-If you’re trying to win over Kiana so easily, I won’t get in between that since she’s the fruit of what we had shared before... but what you’re trying to do now, you’re only going to hurt her, Monsieur. Do you expect me to tell her four years old self that you’re her father if she ever asks? Do you... do you even realize how confused she’s going to feel as well? D-Did you even think how she’s going to feel when her father, the very man... the very man I thought would never leave... would just suddenly come barging back like a damn unexpected storm?”  
Every sobbed up but honest words coming from Keira broke every part of my heart as I just watched her sob along with the sounds of the sea’s waves comforting her.  
“M-Mademoiselle... I know... I know I’ve messed up... I know I’ve fucked up... but please... please just hear me out once.”  
“T-Then what? Just let me pretend to be okay when I’m really not while you’re trying to get closer to Kiana’s heart? Are you going to shatter her trust too just like what you did to mine?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“O-Of course not...! Just because I haven’t been here for the past four years, it doesn’t mean I’m going to repeat the same mistake again. Keira... I... I know I have no right to say this, but... but you are still the most important person to me!”  
Keira just feigned a laugh while turning her back at me and stared straight at the sea saying,  
“As much as I want to curse you so much right now, monsieur Namjoon Kim... you’re just spouting whatever nonsense from your mouth at the moment. It’s making me nauseous.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“D-Damn it Keira...! What more do I have to say to convince you that I’m already regretting everything I’ve done? You can’t even look me straight in the eyes now! What... what am I supposed to do? If only I could turn back time, I’d take back what I had done to you.”  
I hadn’t noticed that my voice was raising now in a sob as well because as much as I understood why she was pushing me away so much but... if she doesn’t let me in, **am I only going to be stuck at knocking on the door for the rest of my life?**  
“What are you supposed to do huh? Funny how that question would’ve been a way more better fit four years ago huh monsieur? But ever since you’ve decided to leave my side, I’ve also decided to raise Kiana by myself. I’ve decided to protect her no matter what happens now. But how am I supposed to protect her when the very person I should be protecting her heart from the most is standing right behind me?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“But how am I supposed to protect her when the very person I should be protecting her heart from the most is standing right behind me?”_  
My chest perturbed in pain of Keira’s last sentence. It really felt like the scar I had left in her heart was too deep. Too deep to heal even with no matter what I’m going to do or say. Yet, I don’t blame her one bit. Because she had every reason to despise me.  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
“For the four years you weren’t around, I had decided it was the best decision to consider you dead both inside my head and my heart. And even now when I’m standing here, I still think that’s the best decision I had made right after Kiana was born.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”

When she finally decided to turn around and face me, her beautiful face was already so swollen with tears as she just told me with the most heartbreaking smile behind the scenic view of the sea,  
“Tu es trop tard. You’re too late, monsieur. If you’re trying to save what’s left of what has happened, you’re four years too late. If you’re trying to save what’s left of my feelings for you, you’re already too late since that week you had promised me you’d come back. So please... please let’s keep our distance. If you’re not going to do it for me, do it for Kiana.”  
“Keira... but...”  
As she then walked up to me, both our gazes focused on each other’s, both gray and brown, Keira said to me finally before leaving me alone again by the beach,  
“And just because you know about Kiana now, it doesn’t mean you’ll have any right to tell me on how I should raise her. I’ve been raising her properly without you, and I want it to stay that way. **Having you pity me is much worse than you leaving me**. Comprenez vous, monsieur?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle...”  
And I just watched Keira walk away once again. I just watched her leave the beach and go back straight to her home. I just watched her walk away like a coward and a complete fool. All over again. Clenching my fists to myself, I just let the rest of my tears fall down as I whispered to the summer air,  
“F-Fuck... is there really no point anymore Keira...”

As I was sitting on the sand and watching the sea’s waves go back and forth while also reflecting over Keira’s words still heavily lingering in the air, a not-so unknown voice then echoed saying,  
“I didn’t think I’d still see you here.”  
Looking up at the silhouette of where the voice was coming from, I could only blink.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Auntie Risa!”_  
Remembering little Kiana’s voice inside my head, it was no other than the woman who was with Keira and her yesterday.  
“You must be Kiana’s auntie Risa then, right?”  
She just gave me a slightly indifferent smile on her face as she said without holding back,  
“And you must be Kiana’s father who just came back after all these years?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I could only look at her brown eyes in pure disbelief of how she had knew. But... judging how close she must be with Keira and Kiana, I guess it wouldn’t be a coincidence if she knew me or not.  
“If you’re going to give me another long lecture, please don’t bother. I’ve already earned a lot of it from mademoiselle herself.”  
With a long sigh, she then sat a short distance from where I was sitting on the sand and said,  
“I have no right to give you any lecture or anything monsieur, but... let me just say that Keira’s reactions to you coming back are perfectly normal because imagine being in her shoes instead? What would you do if you were in her place then?”  
“...”  
“What would you do if the situation was reversed and it was Keira who had disappeared and had left you and Kiana without a proper explanation? Wouldn’t you feel the same way she’s feeling right now?”  
The woman named Risa didn’t say one word that wasn’t true because she was right... I was just too stubborn to admit to myself that Keira got the shorter end of the stick than I did all these years and here I was... **trying to outweigh her struggles with mine**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“If the situation was reversed, I’d be devastated too if she’d decided to come back all of a sudden and question her where the hell she was when I and our daughter needed her the most.”  
With one last sigh, Risa just told me lastly before she stood up and left the scene,  
“I know I shouldn’t be interfering but a piece of advice monsieur, since I care a lot about Keira as a close friend and little Kiana as her auntie, you need to question yourself that now. Think about Keira’s feelings and don’t be hasty in getting close with Kiana if you’re just going to end up leaving them once again.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Hasty huh? Maybe that’s the perfect term indeed to describe everything I’ve done for the past four years. Maybe that’s the reason why instead of making Keira reassured, I made her restless because I didn’t want to lose her again.  
“You didn’t hear this from me monsieur, but I know Keira’s just too overwhelmed of what’s happening. If you slowly keep up your pace and show her that you’re sincere, you’ll get her to listen again. But just don’t expect too much from her. You’ve already ruined so much of her trust, don’t make it fade away completely.”

Risa’s lastly added advice echoed inside my hearing as I found my new resolve while gazing at the perfectly blue sea under the summer morning and holding on tightly to the small envelopes I had in my pocket.  
 _“Don’t belittle yourself without even trying it first, monsieur. Believe in yourself. Since that’s the lawyer and person named Kim Namjoon I’m in love with.”_  
“I’d be a complete buffoon to let you go for the second time around, Keira.”

**  
 _A few days later..._

_Summer of 1980  
Keira’s home:  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

_BGM: Mistake (Girls’ Generation)_  
“You’re here again huh monsieur?”  
Ever since what happened again by the beach and I had decided to fix my new resolve towards my relationship with Keira, I didn’t stop visiting her every morning to bring her flowers and breakfast too for her and Kiana. She’d close the door in front of my face every time with a long sigh. However, one day proved to be different.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You’re...”  
Expecting to see a pair of gray eyes, I was surprised when the person who had then opened the door was a familiar brown-eyed woman.  
“Auntie Risa? Who’s the—!”  
And of course, those familiar pair of amber colored eyes also came into the scene every time as well in pure curiosity.  
 _*thump*_  
“Good morning again, little mademoiselle.”  
“Beau monsieur...!”  
The woman named Risa then stared at the bouquet on my right hand and the paper bag on the other.  
“Guess Keira wasn’t lying when she told me you’d come to knock on her doorstep every morning since then with flowers and a paper bag with a different breakfast menu in it.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Guess she told you that too then huh...”  
As the two of us could only stare at each other silently, little Kiana then peeked from behind Risa’s legs saying,  
“Ummm... why does Kiana smell waffles this time hmm?”  
I couldn’t help but smile at how it was always Kiana who managed to snap away the awkward air so quickly in a conversation... just like how Keira does. It really was no doubt, she was Keira’s daughter. She was the only one who seemed to be happy of me appearing here in their home every morning.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re really a smart little mademoiselle indeed. Did you have breakfast then?”  
Kneeling to her heights’s level, little Kiana just shook her head adorably saying,  
“Uh-uh. Not yet~ auntie Risa was about to cook me eggs and bacon though... right auntie?”  
She looked up to meet her auntie’s eyes. Risa just chuckled at Kiana’s innocent question and told her while patting her gently on her tiny, rosy cheeks,  
“Of course little one. Whatever you want.”  
Thinking to herself deeply for a few seconds, Kiana’s expression then looked like she had an idea pop up inside of her head just now as she then asked while focusing her gaze towards mine next,  
“Oh...! Since beau monsieur is already here auntie, can he have breakfast with us too? Please...?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Little mademoiselle...”  
With Kiana’s amber colored eyes turning all puppy dog, Risa could only sigh in defeat saying,  
“Okay, okay. But keep this a secret from your Maman, okay little one?”  
Kiana nodded gleefully in victory. She really was an extraordinary kind of little four year old if I should say. Her convincing skills were far too ahead for her age.  
“Of course~ isn’t that great, beau monsieur?”  
Stopping myself from patting her on the top of her head, I just returned another sincere smile telling her before closing the door from behind me,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Merci, little mademoiselle. Thank you, really.”

As Risa disappeared to the kitchen to prepare breakfast after I handed over the fresh batch of waffles I picked up before coming here, I was busy staring at the bouquet of flowers I still was holding around on my hands until,  
“W-Wow... the white tulips are so pretty~”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Little Kiana then peeked at the flowers from beside me that it made me a bit taken aback.  
“L-Little mademoiselle... you know about these flowers?”  
Crossing her arms, she nodded without hesitation and told me,  
“Of course! Since Maman loves flowers a lot, I love them a whole lot too!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I felt my heart perturb on cue of what she had said.  
 _“These flowers are so beautiful indeed, Monsieur Joon!”_  
“Is... is that so...?”  
However little Kiana’s next question left me even more dumbstruck as she pointed out while touching gently with her small hands the white tulips,  
“Hmm... as far as Kiana remembers... white tulips mean **I’m sorry**? Did you do something wrong, beau monsieur?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
And right then and there, I could hear the echoes of my slowly racing heartbeat as little Kiana looked at me so inquisitively through those amber colored eyes of hers.  
“Well... little mademoiselle...”  
But before I could manage to put together my next words for her, Risa entered the conversation just in time saying while she finally finished prepping up for breakfast in the kitchen,  
“Kiana dear, don’t make monsieur too nervous with your sudden curiosity. Come on now, have your breakfast before it gets cold.”  
“Oui, auntie!”  
As she was about to run to the kitchen, little Kiana just told me with a smile,  
“Je suis désolé beau monsieur... Kiana won’t ask too much from now on if you’re nervous!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“N-No... no. Don’t worry about it too much, little mademoiselle. Go on, go have your breakfast now.”

While little Kiana was finishing up and eating her breakfast, Risa then placed the bouquet in a vase before telling me,  
“If you’re looking for Keira, she’s probably at the bookstore where she works part time.”  
 _*thump*_  
A part time job? My eyes then couldn’t help but turn wide at the new information I just heard.  
“W-What? She works at a bookstore?”  
Realizing her slip of the tongue, Risa could only sigh and say,  
“Ah well... there’s no point in hiding it since I’m not going to pretend like an idiot that you didn’t hear what I’d just said. As you should know monsieur, Keira works part-time every _Friday and Saturday_ at the local bookstore in town while I look after Kiana for her.”  
I see now. Now I understand why Risa is here instead of her today since it was a Saturday.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Ah, I see.”  
“Kiana’s right, these flowers are indeed pretty. Too bad the person you meant to give them to isn’t right here now, right?”  
Realizing where Risa was going with her words, I just stared at her asking back,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“There’s only one bookstore here in town, right?”  
Risa just shrugged before Kiana’s voice then echoed my hearing and said,  
“Oui, beau monsieur~”  
Standing up from the sofa, I then hurriedly excused myself telling Kiana and Risa,  
“Enjoy your breakfast then little mademoiselle. Miss Risa, I’ll excuse myself for now.”  
Risa just let out a small sigh before she gently grabbed one of the tulip stems and handed it over to me saying,  
“It’s better to show up with one than with nothing at all, wouldn’t you think monsieur?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you.”  
Taking the flower, I just smiled sincerely at her small kind gesture before Kiana waved goodbye happily as I bid her farewell again while heading for the front door in a hurry.

 _“Please... please let’s keep our distance, monsieur.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m sorry huh?”  
I just gazed at the white tulip I held tightly in my right hand before I took off with my bicycle to head straight towards the town without even realizing of the conversation that then happened between Risa and little Kiana the second I had left.

“That monsieur really... I hope Keira’s not going to flip the moment they see each other again.”  
“Auntie Risa... why does Kiana feel like that beau monsieur knows Maman for some reason?”  
Risa could only sigh again at what Kiana had to say while fixing up the rest of the tulip flowers on the vase telling her,  
“Who knows, little one. Let’s just hope your Maman knows that too. It would be a waste if these flowers just wilted without her knowing about it.”

 _A little while later...  
BGM: Blossom Flower (Rothy)_  
“So this is the place huh?”  
Parking my bike right outside of the bookstore, I could hear the obvious thumping of my heart the very minute my eyes saw the silhouette with the gray eyes writing in her journal by the counter right in the middle of the shop and right next to the cash register.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”  
Taking a deep breath in and out, I was then welcomed by the sound of the cheering bell sound as soon as I entered the cozy-looking bookstore and looked around while glancing from time-to-time at Keira’s silhouette so I don’t surprise her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“How can you look so beautiful just by sitting there and writing in your journal while wearing that white cotton dress with the blue floral embroidery all over that fitted you so much, my mademoiselle... and with a part of your hair tied in a princess crown braid...”  
I whispered to myself as I unknowingly grabbed a book of love poems and skimmed through it.

> _It beats.  
>  It breaks.  
> It loves.  
> It aches.  
> For you.  
> Only you.  
> — perry poetry_

One poem really made my heart and soul tremble because it described every feeling I had ever since I laid eyes on Keira’s gray eyes once again.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“F-Funny how this poetry book is really exposing me wearing my heart on my sleeves right now...”  
Without hesitating, I then grabbed the small blue envelope from my pocket and placed it inside the book, right by the page where that particular poem was written before I walked up to where the counter was. Right where she was. Right where Keira was.

“Hmm? A book of poems? But why is a page bulging out right here?”  
Putting down the book by the counter, Keira didn’t look up to see my face until she opened the book and found the blue envelope with her name written on it right by the page I had left it.  
“W-Why is my name in he—?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And then, our gazes met up once again in slow motion.  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“I’d like to buy that book, mademoiselle.”  
We just stared at each other in the silence before Keira just gave me a sigh and took the envelope from the book’s page while grabbing a paper bag.  
“You can just leave the money here monsieur, not to mention... you might have left this envelope by mistake.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
Trying to avoid any eye contact from me, she just handed over the paper bag to me along with the blue envelope I had meant to give to her.  
“I don’t know how you even knew I was here right now... but what part of ‘ _let’s keep our distance_ ’ did you not understand monsieur?”  
“Just because you’ve told me to keep my distance, it doesn’t mean I will do that. You know how stubborn I am.”  
With what I had just said, Keira’s gray eyes then found my brown ones on cue. However, her eyes looked like they were filled with distrust just by staring right at mine.  
“Always the stubborn one even after all this time huh? You’re not going to leave me be even when I’m trying my damn hardest to stay away, are you?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’d be a damn fool to stay away from you when I finally found you again, mademoiselle.”  
Closing her journal in frustration, Keira finally took back the blue envelope before I placed the one white tulip I hid behind my back on the counter saying,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“And I’d be a damn fool to let you slip away just like a slip in time from my life again, Keira.”  
“...”  
She just gazed at the one flower on the counter in silence as I told her lastly in all honesty on my part,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’ll wait for you to listen to me. No matter what. I’ll wait. Somebody important to you had told me that I shouldn’t be hasty in my feelings with you and my relationship with Kiana as well. So, I’ll wait for you mademoiselle. No matter how long it takes too.”  
“Monsieur...”  
Before the situation could turn even more strained than where it was already heading, I politely told her goodbye and walked towards the store’s entrance.

However, the very moment I stepped out of the bookstore, heavy raindrops started falling from the now dark grey sky.  
“Well great timing really... damn it.”  
With no umbrella and my bicycle getting soaked in the rain, I just stood outside of the store while I watch and listen to the sound of the rain pouring under the shelter of the bookstore’s roof that was protecting my head from getting wet. And then,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
My chest pounded loudly in nervousness when a transparent umbrella then came out of the blue from right beside me. And it was being held by no other than Keira herself.  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
“Don’t get any wrong ideas monsieur. Just a simple gesture to show thanks for the white tulip.”  
The two of us just stood beside each other in the silence with only the pitter-patter sounds of the rain echoing around us, and right at that very point in time, it felt like we were taken back to that very night after we had formally met years ago.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle...”  
“What is it?”  
Glancing at Keira’s always stunning side profile, it took every rational part of my body not to pull her closer to my side and embrace her in my arms or even hold her hand with mine.  
“Thank you.”  
“I don’t see the need for you to thank me at the moment, monsieur.”  
As she then noticed me staring at her, Keira returned my gaze just like that very night. Her gray eyes that I’ll never get tired of staring at.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“It’s going to take more than a thousand ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ to make me listen, monsieur.”  
Without even hesitating anymore, I then asked her directly,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ **Will you meet me behind the mall again, mademoiselle Keira?** ”  
“...”  
Keira just stared at me in pure doubt of the words that just came out of my mouth. It took a few more minutes of silence before she simply replied to me under the witness of the rainy summer sky,  
“There’s **no** mall here in town, monsieur.”

**  
 _The next day:  
Fish Market  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: Opening the Window (CLC)_  
“Celui-là s'il vous plaît oncle. That one please, uncle.”  
“Oui, merci toujours mademoiselle Keira. Come back here with petite fille Kiana next time.”  
It was only around past seven in the morning when Keira and I found ourselves going around the town’s famous fish market together.  
“So every Wednesday’s and Sunday’s are the market days here in this part of France?”  
“Yes. I usually go on Sunday’s, never Wednesday’s.”  
Little by little, our conversations were turning normal. Keira was still guarded around me, but we can talk to each other formally. Sometimes, she’d hit me with her very sharp honesty, but for me... I’d rather have her be annoyed with me than have a tearful expression every time she looks at me now.  
“I see.”  
“I think I’ve brought more than enough for the week.”  
Seeing and being with Keira right now made me realize that she has a much more mature air around her. Back then, yes she was already a responsible kind of woman but now... maybe because of her having to take care of Kiana by herself, she seems more independent through my eyes.  
“Care to tell me why you’re so deeply staring at me, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“L-Let’s just say you seem more mature to me now, mademoiselle. Does that sound rude to you?”  
While we were walking along the serene morning streets together, Keira just sighed softly with her gray eyes turning a bit sad in my own point of view.  
“I can’t be an immature mother to Kiana, wouldn’t you think monsieur? I had to be independent these past four years because no one was going to keep me steady on my feet except for myself.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
Still feeling troubled of her last words just now, she just gave me a passing shrug before she stretched out her arms and took in the morning air telling me,  
“Don’t you dare give me such a pitiful expression monsieur or I’m going to leave you by yourself before this day even starts.”  
“Mademoiselle...”  
I just watched her back walk ahead of me. I watched her walk so beautifully while wearing a pretty vintage sunflower printed sleeveless dress that as always perfectly suited her and her yellow strapped wedge heels. No matter how many years will pass by, Keira still looked as radiant as the sun for me. Be it back then or right this very moment in time.  
“You’re really making it hard to stay away, mademoiselle.”  
“Monsieur, I’m seriously going to leave you if you slow down your pace.”  
Snapping back to my thoughts, I then ran after her saying,  
“A-Ah sorry, I got distracted by you looking so radiant in that dress mademoiselle.”  
Keira just rolled her eyes at my remark telling me head-on,  
“Your coy remarks aren’t going to help you this time around monsieur. I’m not the same naïve woman from four years ago, you know.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And with that reply alone, I knew that I was really back at square one in mending my relationship with the woman right beside me. But... I don’t mind. As long as I can walk by her side this time without even holding her hand, I don’t mind.

“Is it really okay with you to spend this Sunday with me, mademoiselle?”  
We were having tea and coffee in a small, cozy cafe here in the town central area. Placing her cup of tea down, she just told me,  
“If you’re worrying about Kiana, don’t. She’s with her tata Risa for the rest of the day. And didn’t you tell me you were going to use this day to get to convince me to listen to you? Or did I just misinterpret your intention monsieur lawyer?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I was surprised when she suddenly mentions one of the nicknames I never thought I’d get to hear again come from that smart mouth of hers.  
“Monsieur lawyer huh? It still feels like yesterday since I’ve heard that roll off of your lips even though it’s been years already.”  
“Well you are a lawyer, Monsieur. Don’t treat it as an endearment. This is me telling you not to get any wrong ideas. Got it?”  
There was such a resolute glimmer written all over Keira’s gray eyes as we gaze at each other.  
“If that’s what you want, mademoiselle.”  
“Good. You know the saying that it **takes a lifetime to form trust with someone and it only takes mere seconds to destroy that trust**.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You really have a way with words even now, mademoiselle Keira.”

After our morning tea and coffee, Keira decided to buy muffins to bring back home to Kiana. Keira wanted to head back since she’d told me today was laundry day and she also had a lot of chores to finish.  
“The beach view really just eases you even no matter how many times you look at it.”  
She remarked as we rode our bikes along the road while stopping here and there to look at the sea.  
“This town is really a breathtaking coastal town even if there are only a few people residing here.”  
“There might be only a few people residing here monsieur, but everyone I had met here had helped me in one way or another for the past years ever since I’ve moved here. Much more than you ever did.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”  
She just gave me a feigned smile before she continued cycling saying,  
“But I guess there’s no use in crying over spilled milk as they all say, monsieur.”  
As a passing morning breeze then came by, I could feel the painful squeeze in my chest again of Keira’s sharp words that were hurtful than any stab or shot.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle... why does it feel like no matter what I’m going to do, you’re not going to listen to me anyway?”

 _A little while later:_  
As soon as we came back to Keira’s home, she puts away everything she brought back from the market before she said to me,  
“Monsieur, feel free to make yourself feel at home. Don’t worry, Kiana won’t come and ask you nonstop questions that’ll make you nervous.”  
“Mademoiselle....”  
Grabbing a hair tie, Keira then told me while tying her hair,  
“I guess her smart and inquisitive thinking really came from you after all since I can’t construct my words like you do. I myself don’t have dimples, but she has one on both sides of her cheeks. She really is no doubt your daughter, monsieur. Too bad things don’t always go the way we want it too huh?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira, please...”  
Before I was about to say something, she quickly disappeared and came back carrying two laundry baskets filled with laundry.  
“If you need anything, which I hope you don’t, I’ll be at the back of the house.”  
And with that, Keira left me all alone by the living room on cue.

“And here I thought I was slowly getting her to soften up, but...”  
Keira really was different woman from the one in my memories years ago. And it’s all because of what I did. I don’t know if I should applaud or curse myself for it. While I was busy appeasing my pitiful self, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking the minute I found those familiar looking flowers in a vase right in the middle of the room.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Those tulips...”  
Recalling it was Risa who placed them on the vase, I then recognized the very one I had given to Keira yesterday. It was right there with the others. I really thought she may have let it wilt but I then remembered what Risa had to say before,  
 _“If you show her how sincere you are, Keira’s slowly going to listen to you. Just don’t expect so much from her.”_  
“Haaaa... shit. Who am I kidding? Why should I give up now and let fate decide she’s better off without me?”  
Reminding myself of the reason why I’m here, I then walked straight towards the back of the house.

 _BGM: Snail mail (Younha)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
The moment I step out at the back of the house, my heart started thumping like an idiot at the view of Keira hanging the white bedsheets by the clothes line.  
“Okay, bedsheets done. Hmm, what’s next?”  
Even if a bit of her hair and dress were now wet, she still looked like as if she was sparkling in my eyes. So this is the Keira who became strong-willed after all these years. This is the same woman who carried and cared for Kiana so much even after everything that had happened. This is the woman who had no choice but to become headstrong for herself and her daughter. It really felt right here, right now... _I’ve fallen in love with the woman in front of my eyes all over again_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”

As she was about to hang the heavy looking blankets, I then hurried to grab the blankets first which made her stare at me wide-eyed for appearing out of the blue.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Here, let me.”  
“Monsieur...?”  
Keira just stared at me in silence as I continued hanging the wet blankets on the clothes line before she then asked,  
“I don’t need your help though, Monsieur?”  
“Just because you say that, it doesn’t mean you actually mean that mademoiselle. I’m going to help you even if you tell me you don’t.”  
The two of us just locked into each other’s eyes, both gray and brown, before Keira raised her hands up with a sigh saying,  
“Whatever you say then, monsieur. I better not hear any complaining if you’re going to help me then.”  
“Just because I’m a lawyer, it doesn’t mean I don’t know how to help around with house chores mademoiselle.”

As I helped Keira with the laundry, I rolled up my polo’s sleeves as I helped her scrub more of the laundry while sitting right beside each other.  
“Now this is one scene I wouldn’t have imagined to happen ever.”  
“Well, the feeling’s mutual mademoiselle.”  
I don’t know if that was a small smile that then formed on Keira’s lips but I just pretended not to notice it in case she’ll take it the wrong way again.  
“Do you always do the laundry alone like this?”  
“Yes, why? Is there something wrong? Or are you just surprised because you didn’t picture me to do this kind of thing even back then?”  
Shaking my hands, I just told her,  
“No, no. It’s not like that. It’s just you feel much more maternally inclined now. Must be because you’re a mother now too?”  
“Is that supposed to be a compliment or what, monsieur?”  
I couldn’t help but chuckle a little at her reaction.  
“Of course it’s a compliment.”  
“Oh ferme-le monsieur.”  
“No, I won’t shut it mademoiselle.”  
Before I could even react, Keira then splashed me with water from the wash basin which made me blink in shock.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You did not just...”  
“For not keeping your mouth shut when I told you to, monsieur.”  
Without hesitation, I then splashed her back with water in return that it also made her blink at the unexpected response.  
“?!”  
“Just a little payback, mademoiselle.”  
And before we both noticed it, the two of us started splashing each other with water like little kids.  
“Hey stop it, monsieur! Stop acting like a kid!”  
“And who’s the one who started it huh?”  
As we became more playful that as she was about to take the hose and direct it straight towards me, I grabbed her hands just in time however...  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“...”  
The two of us just kept our awkward silence as we stared at each other while only the sounds of the water running could echo in both of our hearings.

It was a scene I did not foresee to ever happen between Keira and I, but... but right at that very second, it felt like that was the closest I could reach to her heart. It felt like that was the time I felt the closest to her ever since seeing her again.

“Please let me go, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Ah, sorry.”  
As I gently let go of my hands’ grip on hers, we just turned around from each other’s gazes in embarrassment of where the moment led up to. While I was still dazed of the thought of holding her hands again, Keira then said,  
“I-I’ll head up and change clothes for now, monsieur. I’ll go and fetch you a towel too.”  
“S-Sure, I’ll continue things from here.”  
As flustered as the two of us were at the moment and right after Keira quickly left the scene, we both didn’t realize the familiar pair of silhouettes watching us from next door acting like fools.

 _A few hours later..._  
It was around lunch time already after we had finished up with the laundry together. Keira lets me dry off and rest as soon as she came back down and changed her clothes. It didn’t help too that no matter what she wore made her natural beauty stand out so much.  
“I can feel you staring a hole into me, monsieur. Again.”  
“How can I not when you look so lovely in that blue and white plaid dress of yours?”  
Keira just stared at me baffled of what I said before she told me with a slight chuckle,  
“There you go again. Didn’t I tell you your coy compliments aren’t going to work with me anymore? Jeez. What do you say we go and grab lunch now?”  
“Is it really that hard to believe if what I’m saying is a compliment or not, mademoiselle?”  
Grabbing the now empty laundry baskets, she told me with a small smile,  
“That’s because words are your forte _per se_ monsieur, I can’t let myself fall easily for that the second time around.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
I don’t know if I was feeling flustered because of what she had just said or if it was simply because she’s slowly smiling at me now. Was this a good sign? Or am I just getting ahead of myself? I thought that deeply to myself for a while before she and I left the house to grab lunch.

We found ourselves standing at a small restaurant in the middle of town. However,  
“Monsieur, let’s go somewhere else.”  
“What? Why? Aren’t you hungry already though?”  
Keira gave me a bit of a troubled look as she skimmed through the restaurant’s menu.  
“I forgot I know this other cafe near here that serves great pasta and sandwiches. Let’s go there instead.”  
“You didn’t answer my question, Keira. Let me see the menu then.”  
With a sigh, she then handed over the menu book to me and my eyes couldn’t stop shaking at what I then saw.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“So... this is...”  
“Jeez. Let’s just go monsieur, or do you want to grab lunch by yourself?”  
Since this place was a known coastal area, of course the restaurant’s menu was filled with nothing but seafood. Yet, the one thing that surprised me was Keira’s reaction when she saw the whole menu.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mademoiselle, did you...?”  
“Sheesh. Whatever. I’m leaving with or without you.”  
As she turned around and started walking off while leaving me, the obvious pounding of my chest grew louder at the thought she still remembers that I dislike eating seafood. Keira remembering such a little detail about me made me a feel a bit victorious even when she got a bit annoyed with me just now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wait for me, mademoiselle...!”

 _Moments later..._  
 _BGM: Baby Steps (Girls’ Generation — TTS)_  
“Is pasta and steak okay with you, monsieur?”  
I just nodded as I let Keira order for the both of us as we reached the cafe she had mentioned. It still felt like a dream that the two of us were now sitting across from each other for the first time in years.  
“I hope you’re not too hungry since it’s going to take a little while before our food arrive.”  
“I don’t mind mademoiselle. I’m already feeling full just by sitting across from you at the moment.”  
Keira gave me another look of disbelief saying,  
“Another smooth line huh monsieur? Do you really want me to leave the scene so badly?”  
“No, no. Don’t, mademoiselle. It’s just out of habit, I guess.”  
With a sigh, Keira then pulled out a familiar blue envelope from her dress’ pocket and placed it on the table saying,  
“One more smooth line and I’m going to give you back this letter. Understand, monsieur?”  
“You really don’t mess around now huh, mademoiselle?”  
Looking straight into my brown eyes, Keira just said with her piercing gray eyes,  
“I’m just getting better at protecting my heart at present, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I see...”

After our food had arrived, we ate in silence. It felt like the smile I saw from her a while ago was just a dream. Yet, I didn’t want to think it was just a dream. I knew that I had to do something to break this ice between us.  
“Mademoiselle, will it be okay if I ask you questions about Kiana? If it’s okay with you of course?”  
She blinked at my rather unexpected question.  
“About Kiana? What do you want to know?”  
“Everything.”  
Keira then couldn’t stop herself from letting out a passing laugh saying,  
“ _Deja Vu_? Why does it feel like you and I are having the same conversation from before?”  
“Is that so? And here I thought you might’ve forgotten already.”  
Her gray eyes then on cue went saddened at my last sentence just now as she said with a quite hurt smile,  
“If I had forgotten, then I wouldn’t be hurting right now, don’t you think so monsieur?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle...”  
“It’s because I remember everything, that’s why it hurts monsieur. Just by remembering the happy moments, I also remember the sad ones. I guess it comes with being human after all. It’s the same for you, right?”  
I had no reason not to nod at what Keira had to ask me.  
“Of course. I also remember everything, Keira. Because that’s just how memories work mademoiselle. Not everything is going to be a happy one.”  
“Always right aren’t we, monsieur lawyer?”  
The two of us just continued on with our meal, however this time it was filled with comforting silence.

“Kiana started talking when she was around near two years old. She was a fast learner.”  
“Keira...”  
When Keira started talking about Kiana, I listened quietly to whatever she was saying and made sure not to miss a single word.  
“She’s smart. Very smart. I taught her to read around when she was three years old. Lately she doesn’t even need me to read her bedtime stories cause she’d rather read one to me instead every time I tuck her in to sleep at night.”  
Keira’s gray eyes then didn’t avert mine as her next words then left me speechless,  
“I guess that part of her, she got it from you monsieur. She’s really unlike any other four year old her age.”  
“Mademoiselle...”  
“Let’s see, you now know that her favorite animal is the koala. She hasn’t slept without the stuffed koala you had given to her ever since, monsieur. Kiana can now write simple sentences. Her favorite food is pancakes. She hasn’t stopped talking about how good those pancakes you’ve brought for her. She’s always asking curious questions left and right.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
As Keira continued on, my chest’s thumping continued to echo loudly inside my ears.  
“She... she hasn’t stopped asking about you, monsieur. That’s why... that’s why it’s scaring me.”  
“Keira...”  
“It’s scaring me that she’s going to know about you even without me telling her. She’s not a naïve little child, monsieur. Knowing she has your genes, Kiana’s going to puzzle everything out and take us both by surprise one day and ask the question, ‘ _is that beau monsieur my father, Maman?’_ ”  
It was the first time I’ve seen the distressed look written all over Keira’s face during all these years.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle, she’s going to know one way or another...”  
“Then let me ask you, are you ready if ever she pops that question huh monsieur? Because for me honestly, I don’t know how I’m going to answer her.”  
“Keira,”  
“Monsieur, you know that one question leads to another? You do realize that Kiana’s next question is going to be, ‘ _If he’s my father, then why is he only here now?_ ’ You’re a lawyer for god sake, didn’t you even think of that?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Now I can see where Keira’s worried feelings lie. Now, it wasn’t just about our relationship anymore. Now with Kiana in the picture, things get more complicated than it already was.  
“Then we answer her questions as honestly as we could, mademoiselle. There’s no point in lying to her or even hiding things from her.”  
“It isn’t simple as you think it is, monsieur. This isn’t a court case that you can simply just research on if you wanted answers. This is **your daughter** we’re talking about here. I don’t want her to grow up at the thought of her own father who left her for years! Where were you on the nights she was crying? On the days she had a fever and got a cold? Where were you when she and I needed you?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
As Keira’s voice almost grew loud, she had to stop herself from tearing up while we were almost done with our meal.  
“Keira...”  
She then didn’t hesitate to stand up from her seat and walked out of the door.

After she took off with her bicycle, I then settled the bill before I followed her hurriedly.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Shit... I didn’t expect our conversation would lead heavily to that.”  
Remembering how Keira doesn’t have the fondest memories of her parents, it felt like I was being punched right in the face of how insensitive I was now with the topic about Kiana.  
 _“You’ve already crushed so much of her trust monsieur, don’t make it disappear completely.”_  
And once again, Risa’s words echo eerily inside my heart.

 _BGM: Give You My Heart (IU)_  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
As soon as I spotted Keira’s bicycle parked by the stairs near the beachside, I then parked mine beside it and searched for her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And there she was, sitting all alone by the sand while hugging her knees and her gaze staring solely towards the blue sea.  
“Keira...”  
I didn’t hesitate to walk up to her and sat right beside her.  
“Je suis désolé. I’m sorry if I walked out of the cafe just now, monsieur.”  
“No, it’s okay. I took care of it already.”  
“Merci.”  
It felt like my heart was being smashed into a thousand pieces the very moment tears then streamed down Keira’s face.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
“I-I know I shouldn’t be crying again but... I’m just scared. I... I don’t want her to grow up like me, who had been left all alone by the people who would have her back no matter what.”  
Right then and there, I couldn’t hold it in any longer as I then gently pulled her to my side and wrapped her around my arms.  
“M-Monsieur... s'il te plait ne fais pas ça... please... please don’t do this...”  
Even no matter how much Keira wanted me to let her go, I didn’t budge as I just told her,  
“No. As if I’m just going to watch you cry all over again without doing anything. Your tears are my biggest weak spot back then and even now, Keira.”  
And then before I knew it, Keira continued sobbing in my arms. At that point in time, it felt like **I’ve reached the door to her heart once again and she finally opened it after all the knocking I did**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Just cry your heart out mademoiselle. I’m not going to let you go until then.”  
“Q-Quelle ironie... t-that’s quite ironic of you to say, don’t you think?”  
I know. However, I knew that even though nothing can change the past now, it doesn’t mean that nothing can change the present that’s happening at the moment.

 _An hour later:_  
After crying, the first thing Keira then tells me,  
“O-Okay, you can now let go of me monsieur.”  
“Are you sure?”  
As she slowly pushed herself away from my embrace, Keira and I locked at each other’s gazes again as she says,  
“Yes, I’m sure. Don’t think ahead of yourself just because I cried in your arms, monsieur.”  
And the feisty side of Keira is back.  
“Ouch. You got to give me more credit than that, mademoiselle.”  
“But... thank you. It felt good to cry in someone’s arms instead of crying alone just like usual.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Her last sentence made my heart ache real badly.  
“K-Keira...”  
“Don’t give me that worried look of yours, monsieur. Did you really think I would cry in front of Kiana all this time? I still have my pride as a mother to stay strong for her no matter what.”  
My whole body trembled at how strong the woman in front of me had become. It felt like Keira was growing in front of my eyes. She looked even more brilliant in this light.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re really an unbelievable woman, mademoiselle Keira.”  
“M-Monsieur...”  
Without stopping myself, I wrapped her around my arms for the second time around even if she then said,  
“Let me go, monsieur.”  
Yet, even if in her refute, I didn’t listen and just tightened my embrace around her and let her nostalgic scent take over my senses because if this was a dream, I don’t mind not waking up anymore even with the haunting echoes of Keira’s words still weighing heavily at the back of my mind.  
 _“Where were you when Kiana and I needed you?”_  
“No. Never again.”

With the afternoon passing by in a flash as we continued to sit beside each other by the beach, I just told Keira while catching her still swollen gray eyed gaze on perfect timing,  
“Kiana’s really blessed to have a mother like you, mademoiselle. Don’t ever think otherwise because what your parents had done to you will never justify that what you’ve done for Kiana isn’t enough.”  
“Monsieur...”  
I then handed over my blue hankie to her as she just gave me a sheepish smile saying,  
“Merci, monsieur. Thank you for saying that, really.”  
Both of us continued to listen to the sea’s comforting waves and breezes underneath the afternoon summer sky. Before I knew it, Keira then said to me,  
“Just so you know monsieur, Kiana loves crabs like you do. Every time we play by the beach, she’d always disappear somewhere and come back while holding one or two in her small hands. Even in the littlest ways, she really reminds me of you. Most especially her dimples...”  
The memory of me running into Kiana for the very first time by the beach while she was trying to search for crabs echoed inside my head next.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
“Do you now want to know why I named her Kiana, monsieur? Kiana means divine and sent by the heavens.”  
Yet, Madame’s words then replayed inside my head as I asked Keira,  
“Isn’t it because ‘ **Kia** ’ came from your name and ‘ **Na** ’ came from mine, mademoiselle?”  
Keira’s gray eyes couldn’t stop shaking of how I even knew of that.  
“D-Don’t tell me...”  
“I knew because of Madame? I can’t lie to you, so yes.”  
She lets out a long sigh before telling me,  
“Madame really is too honest for her own good sometimes. I guess it’s because of her too that you found me here after all these years?”  
“No. She didn’t tell me anything about where you and Kiana were.”  
As soon as our stares focused on each other’s, Keira felt even more puzzled as she asked next,  
“What? Then how did you...?”  
“How did I know where to find you? I searched for you of course mademoiselle, that’s why it took me a long two years to find you since I came back to London those same years too.”  
“M-Monsieur...”  
Now it was Keira’s turn to be shocked of my words. Pushing back my spectacles, I then confessed to her,  
“I’m sorry for not searching for you harder after knowing you weren’t in London anymore, Keira.”  
“Then that means that envelope with my name on it was...”  
As she then took out the blue envelope she was keeping inside her dress’ pocket, I just smiled and nodded telling her,  
“Madame kept all of the letters I had sent to you. I took them all from her and decided it really was for the best if I was the one who’s going give them to you once I find you.”  
“M-Monsieur...”  
I just cupped her hands that held onto the envelope tightly.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Read it once you’re ready, mademoiselle.”  
“Joon...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
My heartbeat went erratic the second Keira mentioned my name instead of her usual ‘ _monsieur_ ’ formality, it was as if it was the very first time I’ve heard her say my name.  
“K-Keira, d-did you just?”

 _BGM: Downpour (I.O.I)_  
However, as if another deja vu was occurring, rain drops started falling from the sky just like yesterday.  
“?!”  
“Oh no...!”  
Hurriedly standing up from the sand, I then took Keira by her right hand and ran back to where our bikes were parked while finding a place where we could take shelter from the sudden pour.  
“...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
The two of us then found ourselves standing out of a small stationery shop that sells postcards. What was happening right now reminded me again of what happened before. Why did it always rain when something important is happening between Keira and I?  
“M-Monsieur,”  
“If you’re going to ask me to let go of your hand, I won’t.”  
“J-Jeez! That’s not it! You’re holding on to my heels with your other hand and I just ran through the rain barefoot...”  
Oh. That was what she meant then? Kneeling on my one leg, I then gently took her left foot saying,  
“Here. I’ll help you wear it then.”  
“W-Wait! I can do it myself monsieur...!”  
I don’t know if she was feeling embarrassed by the sudden touch or she was being too stubborn again because of me helping her, but it didn’t stop me from doing it anyway.  
“There. Now for the other one.”  
“S-Someone’s being pushy.”  
After successfully tying her blue heels’ straps, I just looked up at her and couldn’t help but feel a bit amused at how her cheeks were turning rosy pink.  
“Are you blushing mademoiselle?”  
“Obviously? I told you I could put it on myself and then you just went on with it even no matter how many times I told you not to.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Well, I could get used to this view though.”  
I told her teasingly as I stood back up from my kneeling position.  
“Don’t get used to it, monsieur.”  
As the rain continued on, my brown eyes continued to observe Keira. Even when we were just standing right beside each other, I couldn’t find it in me to take my eyes off of her.  
“Keira?”  
Calling out to her name, she on cue returned my gaze asking,  
“What is it monsieur?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
God, those gray eyes really are a big Achilles heel for me whether it was back then and even now.  
“Call me _Joon_ again.”  
As her eyebrows arched up of my sudden remark, Keira then said,  
“And why should I?”  
“Because I’ll kiss you if you won’t.”  
Her eyes turned wide at my words that all she could say was,  
“Is that a threat, monsieur lawyer?”  
Closing the distance between us, I proceeded to move my face closer to hers and just planted a kiss on Keira’s forehead.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“No. It’s a fact, mademoiselle.”  
“M-Monsieur... didn’t I say that your smooth talking won’t work on me anymore?”  
Pushing back a wet strand of her hair behind her ear, I just told her,  
“I know. That’s why I only kissed you on the forehead because it’s a kiss telling you that I’ll **respect** you. In some cultures, it also means **adoration**. And not to mention, it also connotes an **apology**. It felt like the most perfect way to describe everything I feel about you, Keira.”  
“J-Joon...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
As the rain had stopped, the only thing echoing inside my head and heart was no other than the sweet voice of Keira saying my name all over again.

With the rain over, the two of us grabbed our bicycles as I told Keira,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Let’s go back. Little mademoiselle might start looking for you already.”  
“Okay.”  
The whole walk home was silent. Yet, why did it feel like even if we were walking with our bicycles from a distance, we felt closer to each other?

When we finally reached Keira’s home, the two of us just looked at each other before she said,  
“Monsieur, aren’t you going to come in?”  
“No. We’ve already spent the whole day together. I don’t want Kiana getting weird ideas.”  
Keira couldn’t help but chuckle saying as she parked her bicycle by the sidewalk in front of her house,  
“Now you say that? What happened to the man who wanted to convince me to listen?”  
With a smile, I just replied,  
“I’ve already listened plenty from you just today, mademoiselle. Don’t worry.”  
“Monsieur...”  
“Not to mention, I know you won’t listen to me because you are still hurting after what I had done to you. That’s why. You have to read that letter I gave to you once you’re ready.”  
Grabbing a yellow envelope from my pocket this time, I then handed it over to Keira which made her blink once again.  
“M-Monsieur... another one?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“These two letters aren’t enough to make you forgive me, but if it’ll be a start, then I don’t mind.”  
Looking straight into my eyes, Keira’s slowly turning sad gray gaze then pointed out as she held onto the envelope tightly,  
“Why am I getting the feeling you’re leaving again monsieur?”  
With a feigned smile, I told her straightforwardly,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m leaving back for Seoul tomorrow, Keira.”  
“W-What?”  
“That’s why today was my last chance to make things right, even by a small margin. That’s why... thank you for taking a chance with me today mademoiselle. It means a lot to me.”  
Without looking back, she then walked straight towards her front door and unlocked it in silence.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...!”  
“Don’t follow me.”  
I was close enough to falling down on my knees because I might have destroyed the small trust she still had of me. It looks like I’ve managed to drain the little remainder of her feelings left for me and made it completely disappear.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Looks like this is really goodbye now, my mademoiselle.”  
Feeling my tears coming, I just pulled my bike and led myself out of Keira’s sidewalk while walking back alone to the hotel I was staying at.

That was until,  
“Monsieur!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I thought I may have started to hear things, especially Keira’s voice but... the second I turned around, I could feel the heavy beating of my heart as I watched her run towards me.  
“K-Keira...?”  
“J-Jeez. Why did you suddenly leave?”  
I was confused of where the conversation was going now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“B-But didn’t you say not to follow you?”  
“Yes I did, that’s because we’re both soaking wet from the rain? And I just cleaned the house so that’s why I wanted you to stay outside while I grabbed something.”  
What?  
“T-Then...”  
With a sigh, Keira then handed over a photograph to me saying,  
“Here. This is for you.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-This photo...”  
My hands couldn’t help but tremble at what I then saw in the photo Keira gave to me.  
“Take it as my thank you for everything you’ve done for me today. It’s up to you to bring it or not.”  
It was a photo of her and Kiana. The exact same photo that Madame showed me back in her office at London two years ago. The **exact same photo where I realized for the first time that Kiana was my and Keira’s daughter**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You’re giving this to me, mademoiselle?”  
“Yes. I... I still may not have forgiven you, but after this past week and especially today, you showed me how sincere you are, Monsieur Namjoon Kim. And for that, I’m thankful.”  
 _“Show her how sincere you are monsieur, then little by little, Keira’s going to open up herself to you again.”_  
Risa’s words echoed loudly inside my ears. She was right all along. My tears then streamed down my cheeks on cue that it made Keira a bit shocked.  
“M-Monsieur?!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“D-Don’t mind me, I’m just a bit emotional at the moment.”  
“Jeez. I thought lawyers were stronger in stopping their own tears.”  
As she started wiping the tears from my face with the hankie I gave to her back at the beach when she was the one crying, I couldn’t help but do what I was thinking of next.  
“M-Monsieur?! What are you...?!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Hugging Keira tightly around my arms for the last time again, it felt like I was dreaming all over again. And then,  
“Just kiss Maman already, beau monsieur~”  
“K-Kiana, ma chérie?!”  
I couldn’t help but laugh a bit at what little Kiana had to say as she and Risa were watching us from a distance.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’ll come to you again, mademoiselle. I won’t promise this time around, but I’ll make sure of it, Keira.”  
“M-Monsieur J-Joon...”  
Kissing the top of her still wet hair, I just tightened my embrace around Keira who was now shuddering maybe because of my sudden words.  
“I... I won’t let you cry to yourself anymore Keira.”  
Before I knew it, I could feel the chest area of my shirt becoming wet and that’s when I knew. That’s when I knew that those tears belonged to no one else but Keira herself. She just said to me hoarsely under the early night sky,  
“J-Je te prendrai au mot, monsieur. I’ll take your word for it. Ta dernière chance. Y-Your last chance. Take it or leave it.”

We were far from okay, but if this was the start of _mending the bridges that were once burned_ , I’ll take it. Now that Keira has given me that one photograph, it felt like I had reasons to come back again.

And I wasn’t going to ruin it for the second time around.

**  
 _The next day:_

 _BGM: Love Letter (LOONA)_  
I was now at the train station waiting for the train to head back to Paris and from Paris, I’ll catch my flight back to Seoul from there. Holding the photo in my right hand, I just told myself,  
“I hope she got the spring corcus bouquet by now and the pancakes little mademoiselle wanted.”  
While remembering Keira’s gray eyes and Kiana’s bright smile with the dimples, I also recalled what was the content of the letter I gave to Keira in that blue envelope. The very words I had meant to tell her four years ago.

> _Summer, 1976  
>  **To: my Mademoiselle Keira,**_
> 
> _I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell you the very reason why I had left.  
>  I don’t know if it’s proper to tell you through only this letter.  
> But I know you deserve at least an explanation of why I had to leave without even saying a proper goodbye to you._
> 
> _It was right before the day I was scheduled to come back from Italy.  
>  It was right before the day I could finally go home to your arms and embrace.  
> I received a telegram from my parents. And what was written in that letter made me the most speechless in my whole life._
> 
> _Remember when I told you before that Madame had helped me and my family a lot when we settled here in Europe? I hadn’t told you that we had left Seoul before because of conflict between my family and my fathers’ siblings._
> 
> _Also, remember when I told you on our very first date that I became a lawyer because of practicality reasons? Then I’m going to be wholeheartedly honest with you. I became a lawyer in order to protect my family, mademoiselle. I didn’t want anybody to muddle with my family’s affairs. That’s why we left Seoul and ended up here in Europe all those years ago._
> 
> _And now... it looks like even all the way here in Europe, we were still being caught up by what we had left back in Seoul._
> 
> _The letter was from my father who wanted me to come back home ASAP. And so I did what I was told. Instead of coming back to London the next day as I was supposed to, instead of coming back to you, I went to Birmingham._
> 
> _My father then told me he received a telegram all the way from Seoul a few days ago, while I was in Italy. It looked like his siblings were threatening him to come back to Seoul to settle their inheritance sharing from my grandparents or else they would come for not only him, but for me, my mother, and my younger sister too. So he and my mother had decided to inform me right away even if I was still finishing my work at Italy that same week. I didn’t want to tell you and to worry you since you were already sick and I didn’t want to add my own problems to yours._
> 
> _Yes I know it’s not an excuse mademoiselle. Much more it wasn’t an excuse when I was the one who told my parents we all should fly back to Seoul together._
> 
> _They were against it at first. Especially considering mine and my sister’s safety. But I knew I just couldn’t let this go by without a fight. So I had to make the biggest and hardest decision in my life._
> 
> _It was either my family’s safety or you, mademoiselle.  
>  I know it hurts but in the end, I chose my family. A few days later after we made our decisions, we were scheduled to head back to Seoul together. It was a few days since the promised day I told you I’d come back._
> 
> _A few days before, I also mailed my resignation letter to Madame... as well as... my first letter to you mademoiselle._
> 
> _I lost how many times my mother cried because she felt sorry of having me choose them instead of you.  
>  I lost how many times my younger sister asked me if I was really okay of leaving you.  
> But... being the oldest son, I knew I had to take responsibility of what was going to happen. No matter how much it hurts me to turn my back on you, I still had to._
> 
> _I still had to make a very crucial decision._
> 
> _I don’t know if after saying everything I’ve been hiding from you in this letter, you’ll be less heartbroken. But I know... I know deep down that no amount of innumerable words and explanations would be enough to ask for your forgiveness, Keira._
> 
> _Because I made a promise to protect your heart, but in the very end... I would become one of the persons who’d break it._
> 
> _Yet, even if... even if I couldn’t do anything but to break your heart, I hope you know that it’s not because I don’t love you anymore mademoiselle._
> 
> _I love you so much that just the thought of you crying while reading my letter crushes my heart. I love you so much that even no matter how much it hurts to leave you, I remember your gleaming smile behind your ever perfect gray eyes still waiting for me even if I don’t deserve it one bit._
> 
> _I’m sorry if I couldn’t return my promise to come home to you.  
>  I’m sorry if I couldn’t hug you in my arms again.  
> I’m sorry if I couldn’t kiss your beautiful cherry lips again.  
> I’m sorry if my very presence now will become a reason for your tears._
> 
> _I’m sorry if “forevermore” won’t keep us together anymore.  
>  Yet, I will keep my promise of loving you, and only you forevermore, my mademoiselle._
> 
> _Even if you decide in the future to move on with your life, you will always be the only woman I’ll keep in my heart forevermore._
> 
> _**영원히, 오직 너.  
>  Forevermore, only you.  
> 사랑해, Keira.  
> I love you, Keira.** _
> 
> _안녕. Goodbye my mademoiselle.  
>  — Monsieur Joon_

I don’t know when Keira’s going to be ready to open that letter, but I hope she knows that leaving her wasn’t because my love for her had faded. It was the other way around but this shit called _fate_ placed everything in wrong timing just like it wanted.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“But now... not even fate is going to keep me from correcting my mistakes with you Keira, and with little Kiana as well.”  
Feeling a bit of tears form around my eyes, I had to stop myself from tearing up as I then pushed back my glasses and hid carefully my now most important photograph inside my white polo shirt’s pocket.  
“Haaa... I wish I could stay longer now damn it...”  
I told myself pathetically before I stood up as soon as it was announced that the train was now accepting boarding.

And then,  
“M-Monsieur!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I don’t know if my mind was playing tricks with me by echoing that one woman’s voice but the minute I turned around to confirm my uneasy feelings, my heart felt like leaping out of my chest as soon as my brown eyes met up with the gray eyes I adore so much.  
“M-Mademoiselle? W-What are you...?”  
Keira then didn’t hesitate to run up to me while carrying the bouquet of spring crocus flowers I had asked the flower shop here in town to deliver to her right before I came here at the station. She then wrapped her arms around me saying,  
“Y-You... you fool! idiot!”  
“Hey... you really came all the way here to just slur insults at me right before I leave?”  
Letting go of her embrace, Keira then looked up at me with tears streaming down her rosy cheeks saying while punching me on my chest,  
“I... I had read everything already monsieur... I... I’m sorry... I didn’t know... I... I shouldn’t have...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
The moment Keira said she had read everything, my heartbeat’s echo turned even louder, louder than the train station’s ongoing announcements.  
“B-By everything... you really opened the letter already?”  
Keira nodded and she told me with the first sincere smile I’ve seen appear on her face ever since I saw her all these passing years,  
“Y-Yes. I read everything, my monsieur Joon.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-My lady...”  
Before I knew it, tears also streamed down my cheeks that Keira couldn’t help but wipe them away with her gentle fingers and I did the same for her. We then hugged each other tightly for the last time as she said hoarsely,  
“C-Come back to me, okay monsieur? Don’t promise me. But just come back. Je l'ai?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Kissing the top of her hair and letting the scent of her hair taking over my senses and making me relax, I just let the last of my tears pour down as I told her,  
“I’ll come back, mon chéri. I won’t promise. I will make sure of it. You are my home after all.”  
“D'accord alors. I heard you loud and clear, monsieur Joon.”  
With Keira switching to call me with that name that I would never have expected to hear from her ever again, I knew the long storm between us that spanned from all these years since our separation has passed right at that very point. Just like the **spring crocus flowers’ meaning which bloomed when someone we love finally forgives us**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Saranghanda, my Keira.”

**  
 _One month later:  
Early autumn of 1980  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: SULLAE (Rothy)_  
“How long are you going to be staying this time?”  
“I can only stay two weeks the most since I still have my job back at the courthouse in Seoul.”  
After a month of not seeing each other, Keira and I found ourselves spending quality time together the minute I return.  
“Always busy aren’t we, monsieur lawyer?”  
“Well, I can’t easily see you and little mademoiselle if I don’t have a job, my lady.”  
Keira just giggled at my reply before she leaned her head on my right shoulder as we continued to watch the waves on the sea underneath the now autumn sky.  
“It’s already autumn huh? It’s starting to feel a little colder than usual too.”  
Wearing only a knitted white cardigan, I then took off my black jacket and wrapped it around Keira saying,  
“You should wear more warmer clothes now, mademoiselle. Wouldn’t want you getting a cold when I’m only here for a short time.”  
“Hmph. Fineeeeee.”  
I then didn’t hesitate to wrap Keira around my warm arms. Even while I was in Seoul, my heart still felt like it was left here in France and was waiting eagerly for the day I’d get to embrace her like this.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I missed you so much, mon chéri.”  
“The feeling’s mutual too, monsieur. But don’t worry, Kiana is with me so I don’t get too lonely.”  
“Well, lucky you then.”  
The two of us just exchanged passing laughter. It was still sinking in for me that I can now hug and hold and touch Keira who was right in front of my gaze, and I wasn’t dreaming. Her gray eyes staring so deeply at me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Did you get the flowers I sent to you?”  
Playfully rolling her eyes at me, she said,  
“Obviously. For the past month, the doorbell would ring at exactly seven in the morning and a new bouquet of flowers would then arrive at my doorstep. Not to mention, breakfast too.”  
Stroking her cheeks, I just chuckled at what Keira had to say and told her,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“That’s the least I can do for you and little mademoiselle.”  
“Merci, monsieur dimples. But you’re going to be as good as broke if you keep it up.”  
I was about to give Keira a quick kiss on her forehead until,  
“Maman!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Looks like she found us, mademoiselle.”  
“Right in time too.”  
As Kiana then ran straight towards us, Keira then caressed her at the back of her head saying,  
“Be careful ma chérie. Maman is right here.”  
She then looked up towards me and said with a little pout behind her big amber colored eyes,  
“Beau monsieur, stop stealing Maman from me!”  
“K-Kiana!”  
Keira was surprised of what came out of little Kiana’s mouth while I couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction as I knelt to her height’s level saying,  
“Don’t worry little mademoiselle. I don’t have any intention of stealing your Maman from you. Although...”  
“Although?”  
Little Kiana tilted her head curiously.  
“We might need to share when it comes to your Maman’s love now.”  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“Hmmm~ are you making a compromise with Kiana then, beau monsieur?”  
Keira and I exchanged wide-eyed stares at each other as she then asked,  
“Ma chérie, how do you even know that word?”  
“I read it of course, Maman!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You are one smart little mademoiselle indeed.”  
“Hmph. Of course!”  
To me, Kiana’s spunk really came from Keira. The two of us still haven’t discussed what to do about Kiana and how our relationship is going to head from this point on, but one thing I’ve learned after everything that has happened, **there’s no point in taking back the past and worrying about the future, all that matters is the present which was now**.  
“Oui, we get it ma chérie. Now, let’s head back together then.”  
“Oui, Maman!”  
As I watched with a smile Keira take Kiana’s tiny left hand and they walk along the sand and were leaving traces of their footsteps together, the little one then glanced back at me and said adorably while extending her right hand,  
“Let’s go too, beau monsieur~”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Little mademoiselle...”  
Keira glanced back as well and said with a smile,  
“Are you going to refuse this little mademoiselle’s simple request then, monsieur?”  
If I could describe the one word called ‘ _happiness_ ,’ this very moment right now would be the perfect embodiment of it. **_The most beautiful moment in life. In my life._**  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I would be honored then, little mademoiselle.”  
And for the first time, I got to hold my little girl’s small hand. I may not have been able to hold her or touch her when she was just a tiny baby, but I’ll give her so much more now. I could feel my head to toe tremble with so much emotions that I cannot describe.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“B-Beau monsieur, are you crying?”  
Kiana then looked up at me and asked me curiously as I hurriedly tried to wipe away the signs of tears on my eyes behind my glasses. Keira and I then caught each other’s gazes as she then didn’t hesitate to tell her,  
“Let’s just say, beau monsieur is a man who’s easily moved ma chérie. No need to worry, right monsieur?”  
“D-Don’t cry beau monsieur...! Maman and I are here!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Merci, little mademoiselle... that means a lot. You are such a strong little mademoiselle just like your Maman.”  
The three of us just continued to make our way back to Keira’s home while holding hands. At that exact moment, it truly felt like I was part of their family now. Our simple family of three. This one scene I will never forget for the rest of my life from now on.

 _A little while later..._  
“Here you go, little mademoiselle.”  
“Monsieur... you really need to stop spoiling her.”  
While Keira was preparing dinner in the kitchen, I then handed over the blue box to Kiana while we were both sitting together in the living room and told her,  
“Don’t worry about your Maman, you can open it.”  
“Maman, pleaseeeeeeee?”  
Keira then shot me an indifferent look before saying,  
“Fine. You can open it ma chérie.”  
Clapping in glee, Kiana then opened the box and squealed excitedly of what was inside.  
“W-Wow...! It’s the _blue koala with the purple nose_ again!”  
“Since you liked the plush toy so much, I got you the pillow this time around little mademoiselle.”  
“Merci beacoup beau monsieur...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Seeing my little girl’s pure reactions couldn’t stop me from patting her at the back of her head on cue.  
“You’re very much welcome, little mademoiselle.”  
“Maman! Maman! Kiana got a pillow of the koala this time!”  
She then ran straight towards the kitchen and showed off the pillow to Keira. The mother of course just said with a motherly smile,  
“Well aren’t you the luckiest little lady? It’s cute, ma chérie.”  
Kiana nodded happily and went back to the living room and asked me,  
“Beau monsieur, Kiana wants to know your name!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Keira just gave me a glance to go along with where Kiana was going with the conversation. Pushing back my glasses, I then told her,  
“Oh right... it seems I haven’t told you my name ever since we met in the summer little mademoiselle. My name is Namjoon Kim.”  
“Ooh... your name rhymes with _June_?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“Joon rhymes with June! June is also the month we met, isn’t that amazing monsieur?”_  
My inner thoughts couldn’t help but smile at the memory of how Keira’s reaction was exactly the same as her daughter’s.  
“Yes. Yes it does. You’re just as clever as your Maman, little mademoiselle.”  
“My name is Kiana, beau monsieur~ but I really like it when you call me little mademoiselle. Do you know that _beau monsieur means handsome sir_?”  
Keira was right. She was really unlike any other four year old. I can’t believe Kiana is the result of what Keira and I shared. It was mind boggling than any trial or case I had to work with.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes, I know. And I feel honored to be called handsome by you, little mademoiselle.”  
“You can understand Kiana then beau monsieur? Do you know how to speak French?”  
One curious question led to another that Keira could immediately tell I was a bit ‘ _parentally shocked_ ’ of the sudden bombardment of questions that she had to say as she stepped into the living room,  
“Okay, okay ma chérie. Stop with the questions and let’s go wash our hands before we eat.”  
“Oui, Maman!”  
Little Kiana then scurried off towards the kitchen that Keira could only give me an apologetic smile saying,  
“See what did I tell you? Her curiosity knows no bounds. I hope you weren’t culturally shocked, monsieur.”  
With a soft chuckle, I just pressed a quick kiss on Keira’s left cheek and said,  
“She’s a product of you and me, my lady. Don’t worry about me, I’ll get used to it. Her curiosity really reminds me of you.”  
“Hmph. While her constant choice of smart and witty words definitely comes from you.”  
Keira and I just gazed into each other’s eyes momentarily before Kiana’s voice snapped us back to reality saying,  
“Maman~ Kiana can’t reach the sink...”  
I just sneaked one more kiss on the tip of Keira’s nose as she went back to her mother duties.  
“Looks like little mademoiselle is calling for you.”  
“I know. I’m coming, ma chérie.”

 _BGM: Daydream (DREAMCATCHER)_  
Dinner passed by in a snap. And before we knew it, little Kiana then passed out in slumber while hugging her koala pillow on the sofa by the living room.  
“No wonder her name means heavenly and divine. She looks like an angel when she’s sleeping.”  
“Don’t spoil her too much, monsieur.”  
Keira and I were still in the kitchen and washing the dishes together. I then wrapped my arms around her waist from behind.  
“I’m just spoiling her since she’s my only daughter, mademoiselle.”  
“I know monsieur... but I don’t want her growing up spoiled since she’s our only child. And... you’re distracting me more instead of helping with your sudden back hug.”  
I just kissed Keira on her right ear and said while continuing to dry off the plates she had finished washing,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I understand, mon chéri. You really are the best mother little mademoiselle could ask for.”  
“J-Jeez. Stop kissing me out of the blue, monsieur.”  
“It’s my way of rewarding you. Not to mention, I’ve been drained of energy for the past month. I’m just recharging.”  
After we were finally done with the dishes, as soon as Keira turned around to face me, I just entrapped her lips with mine. It felt so right to kiss her _cherry lips_ all over again.  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“Your lips always feel so perfect, my lady.”  
Keira then just pinched me on my cheeks saying,  
“Uh-huh. I’m not falling for that one bit, monsieur smooth talker.”  
As I was getting ready to peck her lips again, we both froze on cue when a sleepy voice then echoed our hearings going,  
“Hmmm... M-Maman?”  
While little Kiana was rubbing her eyes drowsily, Keira just let out a small sigh with a shrug and smile telling me,  
“It looks like I have to tuck in the little one already, monsieur.”  
“Do you want me to carry her up to her room?”  
“Is it okay with you?”  
Stroking Keira’s cheeks, I told her instantly,  
“Of course. I can tuck her in too, if it’s okay with you.”  
“Merci, monsieur Joon.”  
Getting Keira’s approval, I then walked to the living room and gently carried little Kiana in my arms who was still happily hugging the koala pillow around her small arms.

“Goodnight little mademoiselle.”  
After successfully tucking in for the night our little girl, I silently closed the door to Kiana’s room while Keira waited for me outside of the room.  
“This is the first time Kiana fell asleep without me tucking her in. She’s usually very fussy too right before bedtime and wants me to be the one to tuck her in every night.”  
“Well, aren’t you going to reward me too for tucking her in without any struggle?”  
As I closed the distance between Keira and I, she just pinched me on my nose and said,  
“There. That’s your reward. Come on. Before we end up waking her up instead.”  
“You call that a reward? Mademoiselle really...”  
Keira laughed heartily at my reaction as she took my right hand saying,  
“Want to go stargazing with me on the roof then, monsieur?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
Following her, she then led us both up a secret room that almost seemed like an attic for some reason. And from there, she opened the one window there and before I knew it, we found ourselves by the rooftop.  
“Welcome to my rooftop then, monsieur Joon.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wow...”  
“What do you think? Keep this a secret from Kiana because my conscience won’t forgive me if she sneakily knows about this place and comes here all alone.”  
We then sat right next to each other on the rooftop before the both of us gazed at the twinkling night sky above us.  
“Your secret’s safe with me of course, mon chéri. Don’t you feel cold?”  
“Of course I came prepared.”  
Keira then unfolded the blanket she was holding next and wrapped it around the both of us.  
“Always prepared you are, my lady.”  
With the blanket warming us up, I then gently pulled Keira closer to my side and held both of her hands tightly with mine.  
“This place is really beautiful, Keira.”  
“I usually come here when I needed time alone back then, monsieur.”  
Her saddened gray eyes then made my chest quiver.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Don’t tell me this is the place where you go to when you’re crying to yourself alone?”  
“Yes. Of course since this is the only place Kiana won’t be able to find me.”  
“Keira...”  
I then let her head rest on my right shoulder once again as I continued stroking her hands that were held tightly in mine.  
“Don’t you dare apologize, Joon. It’s okay really.”  
“I’m going to apologize anyway. I’m sorry for being a reason of you crying, my lady.”  
“I’ve already received so many ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ even in that letter, monsieur. When I had settled to open that letter, that was the time when I had decided to listen again. And... I’m glad I did and took the risk.”  
Keira just gave me a warm smile as she caught my gaze on cue. I didn’t hesitate to move my face closer and made our lips touch underneath the witness of the twinkling night sky.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you for letting me in again, Keira.”  
“J-Joon...”  
Gently grabbing her hands again, I kissed them and gripped onto them tightly telling her,  
“I don’t know where we’re going to go from here mademoiselle, but let’s just focus on the present we have. Okay?”  
“Oui. Let’s do that, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I love you, Keira. _Je t’aime. Saranghanda_.”  
“M-Monsieur...”  
As small tears then fell from Keira’s glistening gray eyes, I wiped them away while stroking her cheeks. And as soon as she closed her eyes, it was my go signal to kiss her lips again.

With my arms wrapping Keira steadily on her waist, she also wrapped her arms around my neck as we continued sharing a very long, but the most genial kiss, a kiss that showed how much I had missed her and her missing me in return.  
“Welcome back my monsieur.”  
“I’m happy to be back, my mademoiselle.”

However long the night was, as long as I could stay by this one woman’s side, nothing else matters. _And not even this shit called fate can do anything about it_.

**  
 _The next day:_

 _BGM: How Great Is Your Love (Girls’ Generation)_  
“So... what do you want to do today little mademoiselle?”  
“Hmmm... let Kiana think about it...”  
If you’re wondering why Kiana and I were left alone together, I almost forgot that today was a Friday meaning Keira would be out the whole day for her part time job at the bookstore. I remember our quick conversation just a few minutes ago.

“Monsieur...?”  
“Good morning, my lady. Special delivery.”  
Appearing on Keira’s doorstep again at exactly seven in the morning with a bouquet of mixed chrysanthemum flowers in my right hand and breakfast in a paper bag on my other one, she just blinked at me before saying,  
“Always on time, I see.”  
“Of course. I can’t let the flower shop’s delivery boy take over my duty while I’m here.”  
I then handed over the bouquet to her that it made Keira smile on cue.  
“You really know what kind of flowers to buy now, monsieur Joon. And they’re perfect for the autumn weather too.”  
“If I can research for my case studies and trials, I can research on flowers too mon chéri. Only for you.”  
“And here comes monsieur smooth talker again so early in the morning. But... merci monsieur. They’re beautiful.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
As Keira’s gray eyes glimmered beautifully as if they were smiling so happily while holding on to the flowers in her hands, I couldn’t stop myself from pressing my lips on hers right then and there by her doorstep.  
“M-Monsieur...!”  
“Sorry, I couldn’t hold back especially when you look at me adorably like that mademoiselle.”  
“Do you want me to close the door in front of your face again?”  
When Keira turned her back at me in embarrassment and walked towards the living room, I apologized hurriedly while closing the door behind me.  
“I’m sorry mademoiselle, it’s just out of habit again.”  
As soon as I entered the living room, another familiar voice then echoed going,  
“Oh! Beau monsieur is here again...!”  
“Good morning little mademoiselle.”  
Little Kiana then ran towards me with a book in her small hands as I just patted the top of her head.  
“Since you brought Maman flowers again, what breakfast did you bring this time?”  
“K-Kiana... ma chérie really...”  
I stifled out a passing laugh as I knelt to her eye level saying while patting gently her cheeks,  
“Of course your favorite, little mademoiselle.”  
“Hooray! Maman! Beau monsieur brought pancakes again~”  
As I caught Keira’s gaze, she just took the paper bag from my hand and said,  
“Beau monsieur really does know a lot, doesn’t he?”  
“Here, I’ll help you out mademoiselle.”  
I then followed Keira to the kitchen as Kiana went back to reading on the sofa.

“Keira... don’t be mad, my lady.”  
While she was preparing breakfast, I just wrapped my arms around her waist from behind.  
“The next time you kiss me without permission and all of a sudden, I will not hesitate to elbow you on the stomach monsieur.”  
“Noted on that, mademoiselle. So, I’ll just sneak one last kiss for now then.”  
“?!”  
Being fast, I pressed my lips on her right cheek before she could react.  
“Y-You are one sneaky monsieur indeed, monsieur Joon. It seems you need a punishment.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“What kind of punishment do you have in mind then, my mademoiselle?”  
The two of us just exchanged grins at each other, however I was not expecting the least what Keira had in-store for me next through that sneaky smile of hers.

“Be a good girl for beau monsieur, okay ma chérie?”  
“Oui, Maman!”  
As Keira grabbed her keys and small handbag, she gave Kiana a kiss on her forehead before heading for the front door.  
“Mademoiselle... are you sure about this?”  
Keira just giggled at my concerned expression before she tiptoed and pressed a kiss on my right cheek saying,  
“Take this punishment as my simple way of getting you to spend time with Kiana.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”  
“You’ll be fine. Treat it as if it’s your first date with your little mademoiselle who’s also your daughter, Joon.”  
She whispered lastly to me as she waved goodbye to the two of us and rode off on her bicycle.

And now here I am. I was still feeling a bit uneasy of how I’m going to pass this situation. This was unlike anything I had to deal with before. Both in work and in life personally. _And I’ve dealt with a lot already._  
“...”  
“...”  
The living room turned silent as Kiana was just focusing on the book that she was still reading on the couch. Taking a deep breath in and out, I then sat right next to her on the sofa and asked,  
“What are you reading, little mademoiselle?”  
“Hmm? Oh, it’s called _**The Giving Tree**_ , beau monsieur. Do you know this book?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My eyes couldn’t help but grow wide at what Kiana had said.  
“Y-Yeah. I’ve read it before but I remember reading about it back when I was already in university.”  
“Ohhh... university is like school right?”  
It was amazing at how much my little girl knows a lot. A lot more than any ordinary four year old.  
“Yes, you’re correct little mademoiselle. Impressive. You surely love books and reading, don’t you?”  
Kiana nodded passionately telling me with a big grin,  
“Uh-huh! Kiana loves reading a lot beau monsieur~ that’s why Maman buys me lots of books to read!”  
 _“She really reminds me of you, monsieur. Even the way she loves reading and books just like you do.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
Even just by sitting here together with Kiana, I’m discovering more about my little girl. Maybe... maybe this is what Keira had wanted. Maybe this wasn’t a punishment, but it was the opposite of that.  
“What kind of books do you love then, little mademoiselle? I’ll buy you books next time.”  
Kiana looked at me curiously and asked,  
“You will? But you’re already buying flowers for Maman? And now you’ll also buy books for Kiana?”  
I nodded without hesitation telling her while gently ruffling her fluffy brown hair,  
“Of course. I care a lot about your Maman. And I also care a lot about you, little mademoiselle.”  
“Vraiment?”  
“Yes, really.”  
She then closed the book she was reading and looked at me seriously with those big, round amber colored eyes of hers.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-Is something wrong?”  
“I want you to be honest with Kiana, beau monsieur.”  
Uh oh. Where was this conversation going now?  
“O-Okay? Do you want to ask me something then?”  
“Oui. Do you love Maman?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Little mademoiselle...”  
My chest’s pounding then grew loud at Kiana’s one question. Her **honest eyes really described the chrysanthemum flowers** in the vase by the kitchen now and really resembled the eyes of the woman I love.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. I love your Maman very much, little mademoiselle. She’s... she’s the most important person to me.”  
“Hmm... I see.”  
Before I knew it, Kiana then gave me the book she was holding and said while patting the back of my hands that held onto the book,  
“You better not make Maman cry, beau monsieur. And give her all the love like the tree in _The Giving Tree_ did for the little boy. No matter what.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“L-Little mademoiselle...”  
With my little girl giving me a sheepish smile, I then moved closer to her and wrapped her around my embrace for the very first time with a bit of tears forming around the corners of my eyes.  
“B-Beau monsieur?”  
“I-I will... I... I will never make your Maman and even you cry anymore, little mademoiselle.”  
It felt like my whole body shuddered at Kiana’s wise words for a four year old. It felt like I wasn’t only hugging her, but a small version of Keira herself in my arms. She really is a blessing sent from the heavens like Madame had told me before.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Will you go out with me today then, little mademoiselle?”  
“Eh? Go out with you beau monsieur?”  
Stroking my little girl’s rosy cheeks, I nodded with a smile while wiping the signs of tears on my eyes behind my spectacles.  
“Yes. This beau monsieur will take you out on a date. Okay?”  
“Hmm... will you buy Kiana a new book then?”  
I nodded and said,  
“Of course. I’ll even buy you a book at where your Maman is working at right now.”  
The simple mention of her ‘ _Maman_ ’ made Kiana’s amber eyes twinkle on cue.  
“Kiana can see Maman at work?!”  
“Yes little mademoiselle.”  
She cheered in delight and quickly exited the living room and ran up the staircase. As I was about to follow her,  
“Little mademoiselle! Don’t run so fast or you’ll trip! Where are you even going?”  
“Don’t follow Kiana beau monsieur! I’m going to change clothes now~”  
 _“What dress should I wear today on our date, monsieur dimples? This one? Or that one?”  
*thump* *thump*_  
What an energetic little mademoiselle indeed. _She really is like a mini-version of you, my Keira_. She may not have your perfect gray eyes, but her smile even with the dimples, really is luminous like yours and those amber eyes are really unlike anything else.

 _A little while later:_  
We were walking hand in hand on the sidewalk nearing the beach as Kiana then asked me,  
“Isn’t my dress pretty beau monsieur?”  
“Very beautiful, little mademoiselle. Did your Maman buy you that dress?”  
She nodded with a big smile and said,  
“Uh huh~ Maman buys the best dresses too~”  
“She really has the best taste, little mademoiselle.”  
Little Kiana was dressed in a pretty, printed flower pale blue chiffon, long-sleeved dress paired with a pale brown headband and her black boots. She was just as breathtaking as her mother.  
“Oh! Well if it isn’t petite miss Kiana!”  
“Bonjour! Jolie petite fille Kiana!”  
“Bonjour!”  
She’d wave cutely to anyone from the town who recognized her. She was a mini miss congeniality.  
“Well, aren’t you a famous little mademoiselle?”  
“Of course beau monsieur~ you should feel honored to take me out~”  
I couldn’t help but laugh at her witty choice of words as I tightened the grip of my hand with her small ones as we continued walking along.  
“I’m a lucky monsieur indeed.”

“Which muffin do you want?”  
“Hmm... the chocolate banana one!”  
A little later, Kiana and I stopped at a pastry shop in the middle of town before we head to the bookstore where Keira was.  
“Anything else you want little mademoiselle?”  
“Hmmm... do they have hot chocolate? Kiana loves hot chocolate!”  
Patting her head, I just smiled at her answer and said,  
“Noted on that little mademoiselle.”  
“Merci d'avoir commandé monsieur! Thank you and enjoy your order!”  
After getting our food and drinks, the two of us decided it was best to sit outside of the cafe.

“Beau monsieur...”  
“Hmm? Is something wrong?”  
Kiana looked up at me with her slightly worried amber eyes.  
“Kiana can’t reach the chair?”  
“Here, I’ll help you. Hold on tight okay?”  
“Oui!”  
I then gently pulled up Kiana with both of my hands and made her sit on the chair with ease.  
“Here’s your muffin for now little mademoiselle. Your hot chocolate is still too hot to drink.”  
“Merci beau monsieur~”  
She just gave me a cheerful smile that made the dimples on both sides of her cheeks pop out. Returning her smile, I just stroked one side of her cheeks saying,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re very much welcome, little mademoiselle.”

“Is that coffee you’re drinking beau monsieur?”  
Kiana then asked me curiously while playfully kicking her short legs back and forth.  
“Yes, little mademoiselle. Is hot chocolate your favorite by the way?”  
Putting down the small plate with the muffin down on her lap, she said,  
“Uh huh~ especially the hot chocolate that Maman makes~ she makes the best hot chocolate beau monsieur! Kiana hopes she’s making them soon~”  
 _“I love this hot chocolate so much monsieur! And the pastries too! Why don’t we take some back at your apartment?”_  
The small memory never failed to make me smile. Keira, even the way she loves sweet things comes from you as well.  
“I hope I’ll get to taste it too soon, little mademoiselle.”  
“Maman only drinks tea and hot chocolate but lately she also keeps coffee in the kitchen too~”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What did Kiana mean just now?  
“Little mademoiselle...”  
“But Kiana notices that every time you’re at our house, Maman would give you coffee. So Kiana now understands that coffee is your favorite~”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What an unbelievable little mademoiselle she is, Keira. I had to put down my cup of coffee in awe.  
“Looks like I got caught red-handed by you, little mademoiselle. You’re far smarter than I’ll ever be.”  
Taking small bites of her muffin, she looked at me curiously once again and asked,  
“Oh! Kiana forgot to ask... what do you do by the way beau monsieur? Kiana bets that you’re a very smart person too!”  
“Really? What made you say that?”  
She just flashed me a playful grin saying,  
“Because beau monsieur is the first one to guess my favorite animal~ not even Maman could guess! And you look very handsome with those glasses too~”  
Reaching out to pat her at the back of her hair, I told her with a hearty laugh,  
“Is that so? I feel very honored to hear that then, little mademoiselle. And oh, to answer to your question... I work as a lawyer.”  
Kiana’s amber eyes started shaking in shock as she exclaimed,  
“Oh vraiment?! That’s so cool~ beau monsieur is a lawyer?! With dimples too just like me?!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My heart pounded on cue when Kiana then started poking the dimples on her cheeks proudly again.  
“It looks like we both have a lot in common after all huh, little mademoiselle?”  
“Maman did tell me before that she is weak against dimples~ no wonder right?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Weak against dimples huh? I could only lean back my head and let out another heartfelt laugh saying,  
“It looks like we’ll be _partners-in-crime_ with the dimples when it comes to your Maman then from now on, little mademoiselle.”  
“Hmm~ as long as you won’t make Maman cry beau monsieur, you and Kiana will be good.”  
“Little mademoiselle...”  
A smile just formed on my lips once again as I told Kiana without hesitation while warming up her hot chocolate,  
“I heard you crystal clear, little mademoiselle.”

 _An hour later,  
BGM: Turtle (TWICE)_  
“Where should we have lunch after we visit your Maman, little mademoiselle?”  
“Let’s ask Maman when we see her beau monsieur!”  
After our stopover at the cafe, we were now making our way towards the bookstore when we then happened to pause at a familiar looking place.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“This place...”  
It was no other than the place that Keira and I happened to take shelter in when it started raining by the beach that day last month.  
 _“Here. I’ll help you wear it then.”  
“W-Wait! I can do it myself monsieur...!”_  
Kiana’s voice then snapped me back to reality while I was reminiscing as she tugged onto my teal colored sweater saying,  
“Beau monsieur? Do you know this postcards place?”  
Smiling, I nodded while patting her head.  
“You can say that. It’s somewhat a special place for me.”  
“Ooh~ then let’s go inside!”  
“As you wish, little mademoiselle.”  
I then carried Kiana in my arms as we entered the store together. It felt absolutely awe-struck to carry my little girl in my arms once again. It made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy like hot chocolate.

“You don’t mind me carrying you then, little mademoiselle?”  
“Aren’t Kiana and beau monsieur _partner-in-crimes_ already?”  
As she returned my question with another question, I just playfully ruffled her smooth hair saying,  
“You really got your pretty little smart mouth from your Maman.”  
“Merci~”  
As we were looking around at the mix of colorful and black-and-white postcards, Kiana’s amber eyes then turned wide when she pointed at one particular postcard.  
“Ooh! Beau monsieur, look!”  
Following her line of gaze, my eyes also couldn’t help but turn wide as well at what I saw.  
*thump* *thump*  
“This is...”  
“Kiana wonders what Paris looks like... have you been to Paris, beau monsieur?”  
As Kiana held on tightly to the postcard with the _Eiffel Tower in Paris_ on it, I just smiled at her and nodded.  
“Yes, little mademoiselle. It’s a beautiful place. It’s also the place where your Maman is from.”  
“Ohhh~ really?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Looks like you haven’t told her about Paris at least once huh Keira?  
“But let’s keep that as our little secret for now, okay little mademoiselle?”  
“Will asking Maman about it make her sad?”  
With a soft sigh, I couldn’t find it in me to lie to her, especially when she’s looking at me so honestly with her amber colored eyes.  
“Yes little mademoiselle. That’s why, keep it a secret from your Maman that I told you. Okay?”  
“Oui beau monsieur. Kiana will keep it a secret. Kiana doesn’t ever want to see Maman sad or cry again.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Little mademoiselle...”  
Noticing the now saddened up eyes all over Kiana’s eyes, I had to lighten up the atmosphere. Glancing around, I then found the right postcard to show her next.  
“How about this little mademoiselle? Do you know this place?”  
“Oh... the place with the big and tall clock! Hmm... _London_?”  
As her expression lightened up and a smile finally appeared on her small lips, I just sighed again but this time in relief. Patting the back of her head, I said,  
“Excellent, little mademoiselle. You’re going to be scary smart and beautiful when you grow up.”  
“Merci beau monsieur~ have you gone to London too then?”  
“Yes. I used to live and work in London before.”  
Her eyes glimmered in curiosity.  
“W-Wow...! You’ve been really to a lot of places beau monsieur~ tell Kiana more!”  
Gently pinching her cheeks that were now showing off her cute dimples, I gave her a brief story time of the places I’ve been to and had seen, but not mentioning of course Keira’s name.  
“Ooh~ you’ve traveled a lot beau monsieur! You might have gone to all places on the map there!”  
She then pointed at the giant world map that was displayed on the wall inside the postcard store. With a slight chuckle, I brought her to stand by the very front of the map.  
“The world is a really big place, little mademoiselle.”  
“Uh-huh! But Kiana is curious... are you from London then beau monsieur?”  
Shaking my head, I didn’t hesitate to then point at one location on the world map telling Kiana,  
“No, little mademoiselle. I’m from this place.”  
Following to where I was pointing at, she blinked at me in pure awe saying,  
“ _South Korea_? You’re from a faraway place beau monsieur! C'est incroyable...!”  
“Do you want to go there too, little mademoiselle?”  
Kiana innocently nodded with a joyful smile.  
“Of course! Bien sûr! As long as Maman comes too~”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
At her simple yes, I couldn’t help but then hug her in my arms next as so much warm-heated emotions then flooded my whole body at that exact moment.  
“Beau monsieur...?”  
“I’ll take that as your consent to our agreement then, little mademoiselle.”

 _A few moments later...  
BGM: Flower Way (SEJEONG)_  
“Here we are, little mademoiselle.”  
“Ooh~ this is where Maman works then?”  
When we finally reached the bookstore, I smiled with a nod as I then pointed through the glass window and told Kiana,  
“Yes. And look who’s sitting there.”  
Following my gaze, Kiana then gazed at my brown eyes so excitedly saying,  
“It’s Maman! Let’s go inside, beau monsieur!”  
“Of course little mademoiselle. Let’s surprise her.”  
Nodding in agreement, I then opened the front door to the bookstore and we both were then greeted with the cheerful sound of the bell echoing.  
“Beau monsieur...”  
“Sssh... let’s go quietly little mademoiselle...”  
Covering her mouth cutely, Kiana just nodded adorably as we continued making our way towards Keira who was too busy writing in her journal right beside the cash register again even when we had already came in.  
“Should I put it down there beau monsieur?”  
“Yes little mademoiselle, I can’t wait to see your Maman’s reaction.”  
Kiana and I whispered quietly to each other before she then took out something from her dress’ pocket and I helped her placed it on the table for Keira to notice.  
“Hmm...? Why is a postcard of the town’s beach he—-?!”  
And the second Keira looks up at us, Kiana then said out loud while opening up her short arms towards her mother,  
“Maman! Surprise!”  
“M-Ma chérie?!”  
With Keira still feeling dumbfounded of what was happening, Kiana then glanced at me and asked,  
“Beau monsieur, Kiana wants to be carried by Maman now~”  
Gently pinching her left cheek, I just nodded and smiled telling her before my gaze then focused on Keira,  
“Of course little mademoiselle. Go to your Maman now.”  
As Keira was now the one who carried Kiana around her arms, the former then asked,  
“Ma chérie, what are you doing here?”  
Kiana just smiled merrily and said,  
“Beau monsieur and Kiana are on a date right now Maman! And we wanted to see you!”  
Keira’s gray eyes then softened on cue as she just gave Kiana a quick kiss on her right cheek.  
“Well, is that so? I hope you and beau monsieur are enjoying your time together then.”  
“Uh huh~ Kiana is having fun right now!”  
My chest then pounded like an idiot as soon as Keira stared at me with a touched smile written all over her face while holding back a bit of her tears. It didn’t help too that I was getting dazed at her looking so splendidly in her white long-sleeved sweater and black high waist full circle skirt with her black stockings and black pump heels.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle...”  
“Merci for taking Kiana here, monsieur. And merci for coming too.”  
I just reached out to softly stroke Keira’s rosy cheeks with my right hand and told her while also returning her smile with mine,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Anything for you mademoiselle, and little mademoiselle.”

“So, how was your morning date with your little mademoiselle, monsieur?”  
While Kiana was enjoying her time with all the children’s books in one area of the bookstore, Keira was showing me the book genres that can be found all around the store.  
“Let’s just say it was very enjoyable. I finally got to hug her and carry her in my arms on repeat.”  
“You’re enjoying this kind of punishment aren’t you, monsieur?”  
Keira just laughed at my answer as she pulled out one book from the shelf while facing me on cue.  
“And here I thought you had another punishment you were talking about.”  
“Keep those naughty thoughts to yourself, monsieur.”  
As I was about to bring my face closer to hers with a grin, it was no use when Keira just blocked me from going closer through the book she had grabbed from the shelf.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Nothing really works on you now, huh my lady?”  
She flashed me a victorious smile in return.  
“Of course. Didn’t I tell you that I’m not the same wo—-?!”  
However, before she could finish her next syllables, I just took the book from her hands, opened it, and made it cover both of our faces as I then pressed our lips together.  
“M-Monsieur...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I know. I know you’re not the same woman from before. You’re much stronger than her now.”  
“J-Jeez... arrête ça... stop it.”  
“The more you tell me to stop, the more I won’t stop, Keira.”  
“Joon...”  
Keira and I just stared momentarily and deeply into each other’s eyes, her gray ones and my brown ones, before we exchanged more kisses in the silence with only the sounds of the clock ticking and our hearts’ pounding echo around us.

“Merci for buying Kiana a new book, beau monsieur...!”  
“Well, I did tell you I would buy you one, right?”  
As it was already past noon and in time for Keira’s lunch break, the three of us decided to go find somewhere to eat together.  
“Monsieur, don’t tell me that the reason Kiana came along with you without question was because...?”  
Keira gave me a suspecting look. Gripping tightly onto her left hand with my right one, I told her,  
“A-Ah, well... you know I can’t easily say no to her right? Especially when she looks at me with those amber colored eyes of hers...”  
“Ma chérie really has you on the palm of her small hands, monsieur.”  
Keira let out a soft sigh as our gazes then focused on little Kiana who was walking happily in front of us while embracing her new book in her arms.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I don’t mind, mademoiselle. If this is my way of paying back for all the years I have missed out on being by her side and yours... I don’t mind at all. For me, it feels like nothing will be enough to make up for what I hadn’t done for the both of you.”  
“Monsieur Joon...”  
“There’s no guarantee that the rest of the days ahead will be without problems, **that’s why... I just want to cherish these moments now**. With you, mon chéri. With little mademoiselle too.”  
Making us both stop from walking, Keira caressed my left cheek with her free hand and made a genuine smile form on her lips saying,  
“ **Let’s just live for the hope of it all now, okay monsieur Joon?** ”

After our lunch together, I and Kiana decided to wait until Keira’s shift at the bookstore was done in a few hours.

 _BGM: It’s Okay! (DREAMCATCHER)_  
And then right after Keira was done with her part time job for the day, the three of us walked around more at the town central together as Kiana said,  
“Maman, beau monsieur, look...!”  
The two of us followed her gaze and could only blink at what we saw then.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle... are those people...?”  
“Street painters? Yes they indeed are monsieur. It seems you remembered then.”  
“Let’s paint together too! Please??? Maman? Beau monsieur?”  
As Kiana looked at both Keira and I with an alluring look written all over her amber colored eyes, the two of us exchanged glances and shrugs at each other as Keira said,  
“Fine, ma chérie. Are you in as well, monsieur?”  
Caressing the back of Keira’s hair, I didn’t hesitate to nod saying,  
“Of course.”  
With a triumphant smile, Kiana then ran happily towards the street painters and instantly used her little miss congeniality charm with them. I just turned to Keira and told her with a slight chuckle,  
“Her _miss congeniality_ charm, she really got that from you, my lady. She is loved by everyone here in this town, I got that realization today as we were walking around together.”  
Keira also chuckled at what I had said to her as she glanced at me saying,  
“From me, are you sure? I really thought that charming and charismatic side of hers, she got from you, monsieur dimples. Because you’re the kind of person who can instantly enthrall anyone you meet.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Is that so?”  
Being quick enough, I just pecked Keira on her lips before taking her hand and making our way towards where Kiana was.

“What are you painting, ma chérie?”  
“You’ll know when Kiana is done, Maman.”  
The three of us then found ourselves finger-painting. It was the first thing we had done together, all three of us. I’m making sure I won’t forget this moment no matter what.  
“How about you, monsieur Joon? You’re turning awfully quiet too.”  
“You’ll know when I’m done as well, mademoiselle. No spoilers for now.”  
“J-Jeez. You two are really working against me now huh?”  
Kiana and I just exchanged passing laughs at each other as the little one then said,  
“Kiana and beau monsieur are _partner-in-crimes with the dimples_ , Maman!”  
“I see, that’s why huh?”  
As Keira feigned a glare at me, she whispered to me next,  
“Partners-in-crime, really?”  
“Weren’t you the one who told her that you have a weakness for dimples though?”  
Trying to grin at her, Keira just sighed and then smudged my left cheek with a bit of paint.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hey, what was that for?”  
“For being all cheeky and dragging Kiana along with it.”  
“Beau monsieur has paint on his left dimple...!”  
When Keira and Kiana started giggling, I then didn’t hesitate to smudge the tip of Keira’s nose with paint also.  
“M-Monsieur?!”  
“Now we’re both even, mon chéri.”  
“Maman has paint on her face now too...!”  
The three of us just fell to even more heartfelt laughter. **Maybe small moments like these are the reason why even if life can be painful and exhausting, it is still filled with beautiful things to be thankful of**. For me, this present time was it.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you, Keira.”  
“M-Monsieur... why the sudden thank you?”  
Stroking her cheeks, I just told her,  
“For being the reason why happiness exists for me. This moment. This moment with the two of you is why the word _happiness_ exists.”  
“Le sentiment est réciproque. The feeling is mutual, monsieur Joon.”  
Keira and I just gazed into each other’s eyes for a few more moments before I moved closer and planted a soft kiss on her forehead as Kiana then reacted,  
“Kiana is still here you know?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Ah, sorry little mademoiselle.”  
“Ma chérie really...”  
With another round of giggles and laughs, the three of us resumed our finger-painting under the now sunset colored sky.

“Sometimes, the more Kiana grows up, she’s scaring me, Joon.”  
“Can’t believe little mademoiselle painted this as well, my lady.”  
Keira and I were walking back to her home while I was carrying Kiana in my arms as she fell asleep soon right after we were done painting. The two of us couldn’t help but stare in awe at our little girl’s painting. It was a painting of a giant tree with Keira and Kiana sitting right below it.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“She really drew the ‘ ** _The Giving Tree_** ’ with the two of you in it huh?”  
“ _The Giving Tree_? Isn’t that like the children’s book she was busily reading back at the house?”  
“Yes, mademoiselle. She told me about it this morning.”  
Keira couldn’t help but smile as she rolled gently the piece of paper and said,  
“So she’s telling you about her favorite books now huh? Looks like you’re becoming close faster than expected monsieur.”  
At the back of my mind, I understood clearly the meaning behind Kiana’s painting. Her words then lingered around deeply inside of my head.  
 _“You better not make Maman cry, beau monsieur. And give her all the love like the tree in The Giving Tree did for the little boy. No matter what.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“That’s because she’s an amazing little girl, Keira. You can’t help but feel drawn to her. It’s the same feeling I got when I met you and still have with you.”  
“Joon...”

As soon as we arrived outside of Keira’s home, she tenderly took Kiana from my arms and asked me to wait outside for her.  
“I’ll be right back monsieur. I’ll just let the little one lie down on the sofa and grab something. Okay?”  
I did what I was told and waited for Keira. The next thing I knew it, she then handed over a blue colored box to me with a white ribbon wrapped around it.  
“M-Mademoiselle? What’s this for?”  
“Did you really forget today was a special day monsieur Joon?”  
A special day? Wait... then that means?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...”  
“Joyeux anniversaire. Happy birthday to you, monsieur dimples. Did you really forget your birthday to—-!”  
Before she could even finish her sentence, I pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arms around her tightly.  
“J-Joon...?”  
“I... I completely forgot about it... but the thought of you remembering it instead... t-that’s more than enough for me, my lady.”  
Returning my embrace, Keira just patted me lightly on my back saying,  
“Ne sois pas bête. Don’t be silly, monsieur. When it’s _autumn_ , your special day is the first thing I remember. Back then and even now.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you... thank you mademoiselle. Thank you for remembering.”  
After our quite long hug, Keira then asked me to open the blue box she gave to me just now. And the second I opened to see what was inside, my heart pounded like a total fool on cue.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira this is...”  
“I hope you like it, monsieur.”  
My eyes couldn’t help but shake at the beautiful, _silver book locket charm pendant necklace_. And as I opened it, there was a photo of Keira on the right and Kiana on the left.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle...”  
“Consider it as your reminder even when you’re traveling back and forth from one continent to another, we’re with you. Happy birthday Joon.”

Caressing both of Keira’s cheeks after she helps me to wear the necklace, I moved my face closer and made both of our lips touch as I felt a bit of my tears fall down. I’ve lost how many times Keira has made me completely dumbstruck, but right here, right now, this was the most touching thing she had ever done.  
“I... I really don’t know how I deserved to have someone like you, mon chéri. Even after everything I’ve done too...”  
Before I knew it, Keira’s eyes also started watering.  
“I guess I’d rather forgive you for everything than regret not having you again by my side anymore, monsieur.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Wiping the signs of her tears, I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as I then leaned both of our foreheads together asking her the one question I’ve been wanting to say for a while now,  
“Keira, come with me to _Seoul_. You and little mademoiselle. Please?”  
“M-Monsieur...”  
As her gray eyes started shuddering in surprise, I just told her next with a sincere smile,  
“I’ll give you time to think about it. Okay?”  
“O-Oui. Merci...”  
Both of us then settled for one more warm hug along with being engulfed together by the passing autumn breezes.

Autumn really didn’t feel like a sentimental weather unless Keira was with me. _I know that all too well now._

***  
 _Winter of 1980:  
Incheon, South Korea  
Incheon National Airport_

 _BGM: Love you more (Davichi)_  
“I wonder if they’re here already...?”  
While I was roaming around the airport to find the silhouettes I want to see the most, I recalled what happened a while ago back in my office.

 _A little while back...  
Seoul, South Korea_  
“Yes mother, they’re arriving today. And yes, they’re going to spend the holidays with us.”  
After the call with my mother, I put down the telephone as soon as my assistant then came inside the room.  
“Attorney Kim, about your next schedule today...”  
With a cunning smile, I just told him,  
“Reschedule all of my schedules today please, I’m going to the airport in a while.”  
“Eh? Really? Wait... don’t tell me...!”  
Holding the familiar photo frame with a replaced photo now inside it of my two most important persons, I said with my still heavily pounding heart,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. She’s coming here. I mean, both of them are.”  
“That’s... that’s amazing then Attorney Kim! I’m so happy for you!”  
Just the thought of being able to see Keira and Kiana in a few hours here at my home country for the first time made me both nervous and excited altogether.  
“Thank you. I’m sorry in advance for just telling you only now.”  
“No, no! Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle everything from here today! Just go already, you still have to go Incheon you know!”  
After thanking him again, I wrapped up the rest of the documents that needed to be signed before fixing up my things and I went on my way by catching a taxi to the airport.

“Looks like I made it in time then.”  
After arriving at the airport from a short stopover, I looked at my wristwatch and made my way towards where the arrivals were.  
“They should be around here somewhere...”  
While continuing to look around, my heartbeat heightened the moment I heard a crying voice from a distance going,  
“N-No...! W-Where are we Maman?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-That voice...”  
Following the direction of where the voice was coming from, I immediately ran towards the two silhouettes that made my heart relieved and nervous at the same time.  
“M-Mademoiselle... little mademoiselle...”  
“M-Monsieur?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
As soon as Keira and I met eyes, I knew on cue that something was wrong.  
“My lady, did something happen?”  
“Well...”  
Before I also knew it, Kiana’s soft sobbing voice then echoed my hearing.  
“Uuuuuuu... K-Kiana wants to go home...”  
“Ma chérie... I know you might be surprised to suddenly leave home but... it’s okay. Maman is here with you.”  
Comforting her while wiping her tears, Keira just continued to give Kiana a warm motherly smile while stroking her now wet cheeks.  
“K-Kiana knows... but... there are so many new people...”  
“Ma chérie...”  
I see. She must have been a bit frightened of a new environment so suddenly when she hasn’t left _Northern France_ ever since she was born. With a small sigh to myself, I then knelt to Kiana’s eye level as Keira stood right beside me as I told our little girl,  
“Little mademoiselle, there’s nothing to be scared of. Your Maman and I will protect you. Don’t you want to see the snow here in the place where I’m from?”  
“B-Beau monsieur... uh huh, Kiana wants to see snow.”  
“Thank goodness then. Now, don’t cry anymore, okay? Beau monsieur will also take you to where you can see your favorite _blue koala with the purple nose_.”  
“O-Oui.”  
Wiping the rest of her wet tears as she had calmed down, I caressed the back of Kiana’s head as Keira found my gaze and mouthed silently the words,  
“Thank you monsieur.”  
Standing back up on my own two feet, I then handed over the bouquet of flowers to Keira saying,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“And this is for you by the way mademoiselle. Welcome to _Seoul_.”  
“Merci monsieur Joon. Such beautiful _pink camellias_ too. You missed us that much even only after more than a month?”  
Giving Keira a quick kiss on her forehead, I just stroked her left cheek with my right hand while my other one was still in Kiana’s hands’ grip.  
“Of course. I’m so happy that you two can finally come here.”  
“Pareil ici aussi. The feeling’s mutual, monsieur.”  
“Let’s go then?”  
As Keira nodded, Kiana then opened up her arms to me asking,  
“Can beau monsieur carry me?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Glancing at Keira, she just nodded with a smile saying,  
“It’s okay, monsieur. I’ll take care of our luggage.”  
“Well, I can’t refuse a request from little mademoiselle herself. Come here.”  
Kiana then wrapped her small arms around me tightly as I held her in my arms and quickly feel asleep after her sudden crying. Keira then said to me as we exited the airport,  
“She’s really comfortable around you now, Joon. Even falling asleep as soon as she finished crying.”  
“I don’t know if I should be happy or scared of that, mon chéri.”  
Keira and I exchanged a bit of laughs as she then suggested to get a rental car during their stay here since I can’t drive myself.

“Good thing the driver’s seat here in Seoul is the same as back in France.”  
“But in London, of course that’s an _exception_. Right mademoiselle?”  
As we were driving towards our destination, the two of glanced at the front seat’s mirror to see the still sleeping little girl on the backseat.  
“Was your flight okay then, my lady?”  
“Yes. But it sure was a new experience to bring Kiana for the first time.”  
“Who would’ve thought I’d get to see you driving here in my home country though?”  
“It’s been a long while too since I got behind the wheel with you by the passenger seat beside me.”  
Cupping Keira’s hand that was on the steering wheel as we stopped at a stoplight, I just said to her while staring at her always charming gray eyes,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ _Bogoshipda_ , my mademoiselle Keira.”  
Before the light turned to green, Keira smiled back at me saying,  
“If that word means ‘ _I miss you_ ’ just like the _pink camellia flowers_ you gave to me, then yes tu me manques aussi, monsieur Joon.”  
It still felt like a dream to see her and Kiana here in my home country, that’s why I’ll be sure to make their first stay here just as memorable.

 _A little while later,_  
We stopped by the courthouse to pick up some important documents.  
“Are you sure it’s okay for us to come here?”  
“Of course. I’ll be real quick. Okay?”  
As I had asked Keira to wait for me in the lobby, I went up to my office swiftly so I wouldn’t waste any more of my time. I wouldn’t have expected the unanticipated meeting that then would happen while I wasn’t around.

“E-Excuse me... are you perhaps Keira-ssi?”  
Keira could only stare and blink at the unknown man that then approached her.  
“Y-Yes, I am. And you are? You can speak in English then? My _Korean_ is not that polished, I only know a few words.”  
“A-Ah, I’m sorry! Yes, English is fine Keira-ssi. It is you then. It’s a pleasure to finally see you in person. Attorney Kim had mentioned you to me a lot.”  
As the man then introduced himself as my assistant, the two of them then continued on with more conversations as he found Keira easy to talk to as long as you can speak English with her.  
“Kiana, ma chérie, don’t stray too far okay?”  
“Oui maman!”  
Kiana meanwhile was back to her energetic little self after her cozy nap inside the car. Staring at awe of whatever she saw with her own two amber eyes, she curiously roamed around the first floor of the courthouse.  
“Oh~ ce tableau est si joli!”  
“Eh? What did you say?”  
Her amber eyes then caught a pair of _big, innocent brown eyes with jet black hair_ looking at her.  
“You can’t understand Kiana then?”  
The little boy with the brown eyes nodded and said,  
“No... I can’t.”  
“But you understand Kiana in English too just now?”  
“I guess? You’re not from here then? Your eyes have a different color?”  
With one question after another, Kiana just crossed her arms and said,  
“No, Kiana is not from here. Beau monsieur is the one from this place. And Maman told me not to speak to strangers too.”  
“Beau monsieur? Maman? Ah... I’m not a stranger though? I have a name!”  
Her amber eyes turned wide inquisitively as she then didn’t hesitate to ask the little boy face-to-face,  
“What’s your name then? I’m Kiana.”  
“My name is _Jungkook_.”  
Kiana couldn’t help but tilt her head in wonderment of what she just heard.  
“ _Jung_? _Kook_? You have a weird name.”  
“You have a weird name too you know, Kiana.”  
The two of them just continued to stare at each other eye-to-eye before Kiana was snapped back to her own thoughts the moment she heard Keira’s voice calling out to her.  
“Kiana! Ma chérie! Where are you?”  
“Ah~ it looks like Maman is looking for me. Au revoir, Jungkook...!”  
Waving goodbye to the little boy she met, he then yelled out to her lastly,  
“Annyeong Kiana...!”

“Did you two wait for me long?”  
“No, it wasn’t that long. Right, ma chérie?”  
“Uh huh.”  
As Keira was telling me about meeting my assistant while we were making our way back to where the car was parked, Keira and I could only stare at each other bewildered of what Kiana then said to us,  
“Oh! Maman, beau monsieur! Kiana made a new friend back there.”  
“Really?”  
“As expected of little _miss congeniality_. Was the person nice to you?”  
Nodding with a smile that popped her cute dimples out, she continued.  
“Uh huh. The little boy with _gentle brown eyes_ was the same age as Kiana. I think?”  
“Wow. You really met a little boy then on your first visit here?”  
“What was the little boy’s name?”  
The second she mentioned the boy’s name, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking.  
“Hmm... his name was _Jung_? _Kook_?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Monsieur? Judging from your reaction, you knew who that little boy was then?”  
Keira immediately understood my reaction as I could only chuckle before I replied,  
“Well... let’s just say that the little boy whom little mademoiselle met is the son of one of my long-time clients.”  
“Now that is a such a weird _twist of fate_ for some reason, wouldn’t you think?”  
Kiana just blinked cluelessly as Keira started up the engine with a giggle and I could only shake my head in bafflement.

**  
 _The next day:_

_Winter of 1980  
Kim Residence  
Seoul, South Korea_

_BGM: See You (Younha)_  
The day after Keira and Kiana arrived, the three of us then went together to visit my family. Keira was of course hesitant about it at first, but after telling her that my mother and younger sister wanted to see her, she couldn’t find it in herself to refuse. Even though it was risky too since Kiana might start wondering and asking questions of why she and Keira had to come here.  
“Where are we going today?”  
“Well, little mademoiselle...”  
Keira tried her best to not let her nervousness get the best of her every time Kiana pops up a question.  
“We’re going to visit beau monsieur’s family, ma chérie. They’re the reason why we came here to visit. Remember?”  
“Oh... right. Kiana remembers now Maman! Are they nice people then?”  
I just gazed at Keira in admiration of how quick she was to handle that sticky situation as I told our ever curious little girl,  
“Very nice people, little mademoiselle. They can’t wait to meet you too.”  
“W-Wow...! Je suis excité!”  
Keira then whispered to me as we made our way towards the main front door.  
“Is it okay when I’m the one who feels more nervous than excited though, monsieur?”  
Pecking her quickly on the cheek, I just said to her in reassurance before knocking on the door,  
“It’s going to be fine, mademoiselle. Kiana and I are here with you.”  
“I know, monsieur Joon. And thank you, toujours.”

The rest of the time was filled with tears, relieved laughter, and heart-to-heart talks. My mother hugged Keira tightly around her arms the second she saw her. Of course my parents and sister knew who Kiana was ever since what happened two years ago when I went back to London to find Keira.  
“Oh my my my... so this little girl is...”  
“Oppa... she’s really...?”  
“Kiana, ma chérie, introduce yourself.”  
“Bonjour, je m’appelle Kiana. It’s nice to meet you beau monsieur’s family.”  
Mother couldn’t stop herself from gasping and tearing up as she also hugged Kiana tightly around her embrace meanwhile my younger sister couldn’t help but squeal in glee as she pinched playfully Kiana’s rosy cheeks.  
“S-She’s a beautiful little girl. S-She really grew up well.”  
“Eomeoni, please don’t cry. But she’s right oppa, she’s a beautiful little girl. Just like Keira noona.”  
As father came to the scene as well, my younger sister then suggested,  
“Keira noona, oppa, can I take little Kiana with me for now? Please?”  
Keira and I shot a glance at each other, knowing exactly what she was trying to hint at.  
“Ma chérie, do you want to go with the pretty unnie? I mean, pretty big sister?”  
“Hmm... does _jolie demoiselle_ have sweets to share with Kiana then?”  
My sister looked at both Keira and I in confusion. With a slight laugh, I told her,  
“Little mademoiselle called you a _pretty miss_. That’s what jolie demoiselle means.”  
“A-Ah~ you really called me pretty then? Of course! I’ll let you eat all the sweets in my room! Let’s go?”  
As she and Kiana dashed off from the living room, Keira and I were finally left alone with my parents.

“Keira-ssi...”  
“We know an apology is the last thing you’ll want to hear from us, but...”  
Shaking her head, Keira just gently took my mother’s hands and looked at both of my parents saying with that ever unchanging sincere smile written all over face,  
“No. As I’ve told your son over and over again, there’s no need for you to say sorry. I... I too would’ve done the same thing for you, auntie, uncle. **You guys are the most important part of monsieur’s life**. I knew that back then. And even right here, right now.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”  
“That’s why... I’m happy to know that you are all okay here at _Seoul_.”  
And yes before we both knew it, my father bowed his head formally to Keira as her tears streamed down on cue while my mother just wiped away those tears of hers and hugged her in her comforting motherly arms. I too couldn’t stop my tears as well at the scene that was unfolding in front of my eyes.  
“We... we’re so sorry for taking Namjoon-ah away from you, especially when you needed him the most.”  
“A-Auntie...”  
“You really did a great job of raising little Kiana, Keira-ssi. As a mother myself, thank you... thank you for being so strong despite everything.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mother...”  
With those words alone, my heart trembled so much as Keira’s softly sobbing voice then echoed the room while tightly returning my mother’s embrace.  
“N-Namjoon-ah never once forgot about you, Keira-ssi. P-Please don’t ever forget that. A-And from this point on, don’t forget also that you’re no longer alone... we’re your family too. O-Okay?”  
Keira nodded without second thoughts and said hoarsely while letting the rest of her tears fall down,  
“T-Thank you... m-merci... _k-kamsahamnida_ auntie...”

And in that very scene itself, _the once closed and damaged windows were finally boarded up_. And the closure that once felt distant finally came to a reality with the most important people in my life.

**  
 _A few days later:  
Seoul, South Korea_

Keira, Kiana, and I spent more time together as I showed them the places around Seoul that were both part of my life growing up before my family and I had moved to the U.K., and of course were worth going to together.

And then,  
“What? Are you sure about doing this, auntie? And uncle too?”  
“Mother? Father? If it’s too much, we don’t mind...”  
My parents just exchanged passing glances and sighs at each other before they said to Keira and I,  
“Yes. We are sure you two. We’ll watch over little Kiana for the day.”  
“That’s why, go spend a day together just the both of you.”  
Keira was obviously skeptical of her decision. The two of us were about to talk on it until,  
“Oh just go and enjoy the day already together, oppa, Keira noona. I’ll be here to watch over your little mademoiselle too. Don’t worry.”  
“Your _dongsaeng’s_ right Namjoon-ah. Don’t you two want to be alone even just for the day?”  
In the end, Keira couldn’t say no because of my mother and sister’s very convincing words.  
“If you say so then. I’ll leave Kiana in your care for today.”  
“Thank you, mother, Geong Min-ah.”  
After thanking my parents and sister, Keira and I glanced at each other with a smile as we started our one day of being alone together in the span of more than four years apart from that one day back when we saw each other again of course.

_In the next hours..._

_Winter of 1980:  
Haneul Park  
Seoul, South Korea_

_BGM: Love, ing (BEN)_  
“Cet endroit est magnifique. This place is indeed beautiful, monsieur.”  
“I’m glad you think so then mademoiselle. It’s been quiet a long time too since I came back here. It’s usually packed with tourists in the autumn, but I prefer coming here during the winter.”  
Keira and I found ourselves walking together at the park with the tall pampas grass in the late afternoon. _Haneul Park_ was still as nostalgic as my memories of it back in high school.  
“I’m guessing this place also holds a bit of your memories here back then, right monsieur dimples?”  
As Keira glanced at me with those ever curious gray eyes of hers, I just gripped tightly onto her left hand that was in my right one saying,  
“Yes, very much mademoiselle. You can really read me open like a book. **It not only holds past memories, but now I’m also making new ones with you** , right beside me.”  
With Keira chuckling at what I had to tell her, she said,  
“And there goes monsieur smooth talker once again.”  
Pressing a quick kiss at the back of her hand that I was holding, the two of us just continued admiring the pampas grass that were swaying along to the gentle winter breezes passing by as we walked along the park’s path.

I then took Keira to the observatory deck which was right in the middle of the park of course. It had a very spectacular view of Seoul overlooking it.  
“Tellement belle... this place is absolutely beautiful, I won’t get tired of saying that Joon!”  
She’d look at me with wide eyes as if her gray eyes were glittering like a little girl.  
“Do you want to know the meaning of this very observatory deck where we’re standing at, mademoiselle?”  
“Vraiment? Enlighten me then, monsieur dimples.”  
Brushing Keira’s left cheek, I just told her with a smile,  
“ **The bowl that holds the sky.** ”  
“The bowl that holds the sky huh?”  
With a fascinated grin, Keira continued to admire dreamily at the view of Seoul underneath the sunset scenery in the winter. As she couldn’t take her eyes off at the scene, I obviously focused my gaze at her solely. Only at her because my mother’s words from a few days ago then drifted inside my head on cue.

“You still look new as ever...”  
While I was gazing at the moon and night sky from my room’s windowpane, my right hand’s fingers could only caress carefully the ever shimmering ring inside the small red box.  
“Namjoon-ah, aren’t you going to give that to her?”  
Before I knew it, my mother already found me unknowingly talking to myself as she entered my room and walked up to stand right beside me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mother...”  
“Are you perhaps questioning yourself if you deserve to even ask her that one question? Especially after everything you’ve been through separately all these years?”  
Even after all these years, mothers really can tell whether something’s wrong or not. With a long sigh, I just said to her,  
“Mother... I... I don’t want to destroy what we have now. I know too for a fact that Keira’s only started to forgive me for what I did. The hurt I caused her... I don’t want to hurry her. It’ll take time for her to completely accept me again, even if she tells me she’s forgiven me.”  
“Namjoon-ah...”  
“Not to mention... the situation is a whole lot different than it was years ago. With Kiana now of course.”  
Patting me on my back and placing both of her warm hands on top of mine, my mother just pointed out to me,  
“Namjoon-ah, weren’t you the one who said to me that **there’s no point in worrying about the past that has gone already and the future that is just about to come**?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mother...”  
“This present is all that we have, Namjoon-ah. No matter what her reply is going to be, you face it head on. Keira-ssi and you were brought back together now. Are you just going to let the what if’s stop you from showing how much you want to stay by her side?”  
Looking at the engraving with the words ‘ _ **forevermore, my Keira**_ ’ on the ring, I looked at my mother once more before focusing my gaze towards the bright night sky, just like the gleaming smile behind that one woman’s smile.  
 _ **“Let’s just live for the hope of it all, my monsieur Joon. Okay?”**_  
“Thank you mother. I’ll be sure to remember every word you had told me just now. And... I’ll be sure to tell Keira soon. I won’t... _I won’t let fate take myself away from her_. Ever again.”

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”  
As I was trying to sum up my courage to bring up the question to her, Keira then wrapped her arms around me which completely caught me off guard.  
“These past days... I’ve been thinking of how breathtaking your home country is monsieur. The places you’ve taken Kiana and I, I’ll be sure to bear them and keep them within my memories no matter what.”  
Accepting Keira’s ever heartfelt embrace, I hadn’t noticed that small signs of tears were already forming around the corners of my eyes.  
“M-Monsieur... why the sudden tears? J-Jeez... you’re going to make me tear up if you look at me like that...”  
As she wiped away my tears with her gentle fingertips, Keira’s gray eyes were also close enough to watering as well but she tried to avoid it while passing it off with her laugh. I then took out the _silver pendant_ around my neck which was being hid by my coat.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I love you. _Saranghanda_ , my mademoiselle. _Je t’aime_ my Keira. I... I just love you so much.”  
“Y-You’re wearing it then... my monsieur Joon.”  
Taking both of her hands, I brought them closer to my face and tenderly kissed both telling her,  
“It’s my _protective charm_ and I’ve never taken it off ever since you gave it to me, Keira.”  
“I... I’m very happy to hear that then. And by the way...”  
My brown eyes turned wide in pure surprise the moment Keira pulled out a very familiar looking necklace she was hiding too behind her coat.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-My lady, that necklace...”  
“I finally found it after all these years. I’m glad too that it hasn’t faded even after not being worn for so long.”  
It was no other than the very necklace with the _Gerbera daisies_ I gave to her that summer. I never thought she still had it with her even after what happened between us.  
“D-Don’t worry I won’t lose it a—-?!”  
Without hesitating, I pulled in Keira for another tight hug and said to her,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ **Will you let me stay by your side forevermore, mademoiselle Keira? Will you... will you let me keep due of my ‘ _forevermore_ ’ to you?**”  
“J-Joon...”  
Slowly releasing her from my embrace, I then pulled out the _small red box_ from my coat’s pocket and opened it while both of our eyes locked onto each other’s under the witness of the now dusk colored winter sky.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“My mon chéri, my mademoiselle, my lady, my Keira... will you... **will you give me the honor of becoming your lover forevermore?** ”  
Keira’s gray eyes couldn’t stop trembling as she gasped on cue of what was inside the small box. It was crystal clear that she was really taken aback.  
“M-Monsieur...!”  
Taking out the ring, I then placed it on Keira’s fourth finger of her left hand.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I know I’m years late already but... I want you to know that even no matter how many years are going to pass by us, nothing of my feelings for you will ever change.”  
“J-Joon... t-this...”  
“And I also know that you might think this is too fast and out of the blue especially it’s only been a while since we got back together. But... **I just want to live for the hope of it all now, with you... only you, Keira**. That’s why... you don’t have to answer me right now. Take your time. Whatever happens, I’m... I’m going to wait for you.”  
Still staring with a perturbed expression written all over her face, Keira flashed me her usual loving smile before tiptoeing to kiss me on my lips.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
“Merci beaucoup, monsieur... the ring is absolutely the most stunning ring I’ve ever seen... that’s why I’ll think about what you said carefully. I-Is that okay with you?”  
Stroking both sides of her cheeks, I just told Keira before proceeding to kiss her gingerly on her lips this time,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes, mon chéri. It’s definitely okay with me. I just wanted to tell you the words I’ve been holding back for all these years because... who knows what’s going to happen again, right?”  
“Mmm... noted on that then, monsieur dimples.”  
As Keira wrapped her arms around my neck firmly as I pulled her ever closer to my side while my arms also wrapped around her waist, the two of us went on to continue our long kiss that warmed us up in the winter breezes with the _tall pampas grass_ watching us from the distance.

 _Moments later..._  
Time seemed to pass by so fleetingly when we were together that before we knew it, nighttime rose already for the day.  
“Even the night view from this place is just as magnificent, monsieur.”  
“No wonder it’s been called _Sky Park_ too, mademoiselle.”  
“We should come here together with Kiana next time, Joon.”  
Nodding, I kissed Keira on her forehead as I wrapped my right arm around her waist as we watched the small lights of Seoul’s scenery from our bird’s eye view.  
“You really had, ‘ _forevermore, my Keira_ ’ engraved on the ring huh? You’re really something else, Namjoon-ssi.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
D-Did I just hear that right now?  
“K-Keira... did you just call me with ho——-,”  
“With _Korean_ honorifics? Well, your younger sister, oh I mean, your _dongsaeng_ had taught me a few honorifics and words.”  
With a cheery laugh, I gently took Keira’s left hand and planted a kiss on the finger where the ring was saying,  
“That’s really foul play then, Keira-ssi. I’m supposed to be the one to teach you these things too.”  
“Would it be weird if I started calling you, _monsieur Namjoon-ssi_ though?”  
Gazing at her bewitching gray eyes and smile, I couldn’t stop myself from telling her next,  
“You really own all of my heart, my love, and my trust, _mademoiselle Keira-ssi_.”  
Keira then looked deeply into my brown eyes in return as her next words almost made me blank out.  
“ _Saranghanda_ , Namjoon-ssi.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira-ssi...”  
To hear Keira saying she loves me even though with my mistakes I had done to her, Keira saying it in my native language made my entire body and soul flutter. I was about to make her face me when,  
“...!”  
“?!”  
The two of us were startled the minute we were expecting it was snow to fall down from the night sky, it turned out to be raindrops instead.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“R-Rain, really?!”  
“I guess some things never change... even in winter?”  
Keira just giggled as she took me by the hand and we started running out of the park.  
“The rain really loves following us wherever we are huh, mademoiselle Keira-ssi...?”  
“You read my thoughts exactly, monsieur Namjoon-ssi...!”  
It was so natural to the both of us to run through the rain together. _From the first night we formally met, to the night we confessed to each other, to our first fight, to the day we were mending our bridges years after, and this moment here right now_.

**  
 _Winter of 1980:  
Seoul, South Korea  
by the Han River Park_

 _BGM: Only One (BoA)_  
After we got back in the car, drenched from the sudden winter rainfall, we took both of our coats off as Keira then asked me if there was a place I can suggest where we could park somewhere and just wait for the rain to subside and watch it altogether.  
“I have the perfect place in mind, mademoiselle. Are you up for it?”  
“Bien sûr monsieur!”

And that’s how we ended up along a small road where it was overlooking the picturesque view of _Seoul’s Han River_ where I used to go cycling back then.  
“So? What do you think?”  
“For some nostalgic reason, it reminds me of home too back in _Northern France_.”  
Keira and I just listened to the pitter patter sounds of the rain on the car’s roof as she then grabbed a small towel from the backseat and used it to wipe me on my face.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-My lady...”  
“Who would’ve thought that we’d witness _winter rain_ here in your home city, monsieur Joon? The rain really likes to follow us too.”  
Taking the towel, I then also used it to dry off Keira’s wet face and hair instead.  
“Let’s just say I’m just as astonished as you are, mon chéri. I grew up here and this is the first time I witnessed rain during the winter.”  
“H-Hey, the towel is meant for you jeez...”  
Not listening to her, I just pinched both of her cheeks saying,  
“And you? As if I’m just going to let you get a cold, come here.”  
Without second thinking, I pulled Keira closer and embraced her in case she felt cold because of her now wet clothes.  
“M-Monsieur...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Your heartbeat is really pounding fast, mademoiselle...”  
“Hmph... says the person whose heartbeat is also thumping so loudly too...”  
The very second our gazes met, _both brown and gray ones_ , our faces went closer like magnets with our lips crashing on each other’s in a snap.  
“M-Mmm... h-haaaa... m-monsieur...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit... d-don’t do this to me mon chéri...”  
As our kissing turned deeper and heavier the moment she opened her mouth for me, Keira’s hands could only run through and pull on my still wet hair while my hands trailed on her neckline which was still as sensitive as it was back then.  
“N-Namjoon-ssi...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sssh, d-don’t call me like that or else I might...”  
Her ears turned instantly beet red as I slowly told her that in a whisper inside her right ear. When Keira gave me such a tempting, dazed gaze all over her gray eyes and ever rosy cheeks, holding back was the last thing I had in mind.  
“J-Joon... J-J’ai froid... I-I feel cold...”  
And with those words alone, not even the heavy rain that was still happening outside of the car could stop me from what I was about to do next.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Looks like I’ll have **to keep you warm** then, my lady...”

Taking off my brown, suede boots and Keira’s camel colored ankle boots, we both moved to the backseat and continued where we left off.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle, are you sure?”  
“Oui. Fais-moi l’amour s’il te plaît, monsieur. _Please make love to me_.”  
Pressing my lips on Keira’s cherry lips one more time as she took off my black and gold spectacles, I just told her as our noses bumped into each other’s,  
“As you wish, my lady.”  
Without further ado, I started warming up Keira first by caressing the parts of her ever immaculate body that I had missed badly. _From her hips, to her legs, and even her thighs._  
“Monsieur...”  
“This is just the warm up mademoiselle...”  
I then took off her heavily soaked, cream colored, long-sleeved turtleneck sweater and adored Keira’s beauty from on top of her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“G-God, how are you so enthralling my lady?”  
“N-Ne me taquine pas monsieur...”  
“No... I’m not teasing you one bit mademoiselle and I’ll show you.”  
The minute Keira yelped when I traced my wet lips on her also _wet chest, the necklace charm around her neck, her exposed shoulder line, and down to her stomach_ , it felt like music to my own two longing ears.  
“J-Joon, tu taquines...”  
“I told you I was only beginning and I’m not teasing you one bit, mon chéri...”  
I also then didn’t hesitate to unzip Keira’s long, ankle length, high waist, coffee colored pleated plaid wool skirt, along with her black cycling shorts.  
“B-Beautiful as ever you are my Keira...”  
“T-There you go again...”  
She squirmed as I started teasing her even more with my tongue on her now _exposed legs, thighs, and her ever most sensitive spot_.  
“A-Aaah...! n-no... m-monsieur...”  
“D-Damn...! Y-You’re really driving me crazy even now, my lady...”  
Our lips and tongues went on to communicate with each other again before I easily slipped my left hand inside her underwear and inserted _three_ of my fingers inside of her which made Keira scream in elation. I entrapped her lips with mine to soften her yells that echoed along with the raindrops.  
“H-Haaaa... h-aaaa... J-Joon...! N-N'arrête pas...!”  
“O-Oui, I hear you loud and clear mon chéri. I’m not stopping any time soon...”  
Twirling my fingers inside of her, Keira just groaned in pleasure as her hands’ grip on my hair grew even more tighter. As my left hand was busy, my right one just went to unhook her _wet, lace white bra and fondled with her luring pair of goddesses._  
“M-Mmm... that feels nice monsieur...”  
“I-I’ll make you _warmer_ then now mademoiselle, okay...?”  
Catching each other’s gazes for a short second, Keira nodded with her gray eyes growing more tantalizing by the minute. I could hear my heart pounding like a total fool for her alone.  
“O-Okay monsieur...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“F-Fuck... I don’t know whether you’re an _angel or devil_... or both mon chéri...”  
As my left hand was done, I took off her underwear in a snap and marveled at the _bare beauty of the woman I love with all of my heart and soul_. Something that I’ll never get tired of. Ever.  
“J-Joon...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-I’m going to make love to you _as if this is the first time_ , my Keira.”  
Reaching both of her hands to stroke my wet cheeks, my heartbeat leaped as Keira just smiled at me and I could see the shimmer from the ring on her finger.  
“S'il te plaît, fais... please do, my monsieur Joon...”  
As I let Keira undress me out of my also coffee colored, long-sleeved turtleneck sweater and navy blue cropped pants with the black belt, and also my underwear, the two of us continued to warm each other up from our still drenched bodies because of the wet clothes we had.

_Not even the heavy rain could stop mine and Keira’s blissful screams for each other at the very backseat of the car._

_*thump* *thump*_  
“Mon chéri... I’m going to make you feel the _warmest_ now, are you ready?”  
Keira just nodded in a daze after I intensely had a one-on-one playtime with the _sweetest spot in her body_.  
“S-S'il-vous-plaît monsieur...”  
Splitting both of her legs apart, both of us wailed the moment I entered inside of her. I could feel my head spin instantly in euphoria. I led the pace slowly which made Keira moan.  
“M-Mmm... J-Joon... P-Plus vite...”  
“N-Not yet my lady... come here for now...”  
I then pulled Keira up as I continued my thrust’s pacing and wrapped my arms around _her heavily sweating waist_ while warming up her lips over and over again, and _nibbling_ on parts of her body that I love. _Her earlobes, her neckline, and the tip of her shoulders_.  
“A-Ahhh... y-you really are so warm monsieur...”  
“H-Haaaa... o-of course only for you my mademoiselle...”  
Keira’s arms on cue wrapped around my neck and started playing again on my now disheveled hair as I continued exploring inside of her with every thrust and our lips couldn’t stay away from each other’s. I then fastened the pace next.  
“H-Hmmm... a-aaah...! J-Joon...!”  
“S-Shit...! W-When did you become this tight...? K-Keira...!”  
Our sweating bodies _remembered the harmony of our lovemaking_ whether it was in the past or at this very moment as I then held tightly onto both of Keira’s hands while pinning her back to the window. No matter how long it has been, _my body never failed to forget how much he adores this one woman solely for everything that she is_.  
“N-Namjoon-ssi... m-mmm... I... I love you...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“D-Damn... y-you’re really _forevermore_ making me a lovesick fool... K-Keira-ssi...”  
Pecking her lips one more time and staring deeply into her gray eyes, Keira and I reached our _climax_ with a few more intimate rounds and hoarse breathings.

 _Around later..._  
“I-I forgot how aggressive you can be... monsieur dimples.”  
Keira giggled with a soft voice as I just caressed the back of her head while she lays down on top of me after our passionate lovemaking inside of the car in all places.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“How can I not when you give me such enticing looks with those gray eyes of yours?”  
As soon as I caught her gaze staring at me, Keira just smiled giddily before she patted my chest saying,  
“Your heartbeat is beating so loudly like mine right now, Joon.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Obviously. It only beats loudly like that when it involves you, Keira.”  
We just stared silently at one another and listened to the echoes of our heartbeats together with the rain before Keira said,  
“It looks like the rain still has no plan of stopping soon even after what we just did, monsieur Namjoon-ssi.”  
“I’m up for another round, mademoiselle Keira-ssi. How about we go for a _little monsieur_ this time?”  
Slapping me on the chest, Keira couldn’t help but laugh at what came out of my own mouth as she moved closer to my face.  
“ _Pabo_. Don’t get too ahead of yourself, monsieur dimples.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I just leaned forward and kissed Keira on her forehead telling her with a sincere smile on my part this time,  
“I know. That’s why, let me say that _I love you_ again, mademoiselle Keira.”  
“Whatever you say then, monsieur smooth talker.”

Keira and I continued to snuggle warmly together while clasping on firmly to each other’s hands into the rainy winter night. And just by peering at what was on _her left hand’s fourth finger_ , it really felt that everything was now settled.

But of course, the story was far from wrapping up as _**fate** just gave me the last laugh. For now_.

***  
 _2 years later...  
Summer of 1982:  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

_ BGM: In your eyes (BEN) _   
_In the blink of an eye, two years had passed._

Nothing major really happened between my relationship with Keira. Even with the distance separating us as I had to go back and forth from Seoul to here on a monthly or 2-months time, Keira and I made it work.

Kiana meanwhile was growing up brilliantly before our very eyes. However, the day Keira and I have been dreading with fear finally came to a reality during the season where somehow everything started.

The day she had finally put all the puzzle pieces fit together when she was only _six years old_.  
“Maman, beau monsieur, you don’t have to hide it from me anymore.”  
“Ma chérie...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Little mademoiselle... you don’t mean...?”  
As she placed down on the table a box filled with those familiar looking letters and photographs of Keira and I, and not to mention, the final piece of the puzzle, the necklace pendant of the _Gerbera daisies_.  
“Beau monsieur, you’re my _père_? You’re my father aren’t you?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Keira and I knew this day would come sooner or later but it was still mind-boggling as it was happening already so soon. Keira was right. Kiana wasn’t a naïve little girl. The two of us then exchanged glances at each other with Keira’s gray gaze turning very worried at where the situation was going. With a deep breath, I told Kiana head-on and stared at her determined amber colored eyes,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. Yes Kiana, I’m your father. So you finally figured everything out, little mademoiselle.”  
“Joon...”  
With her amber eyes shaking unsettlingly on cue, Keira and I were stunned the second tears streamed down our daughter’s eyes for the first time. Keira had told me before she hadn’t seen Kiana cry once while growing up. Until now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“L-Little mademoiselle...!”  
“K-Kiana...!”  
“W-When... when were you planning to tell me? W-Were you really going to hide it from me all this time? Je ne suis pas idiot...!”  
As Keira and I were about to come up to her, she stopped us while wiping her tears and said,  
“N-No. I’m okay. D-Don’t come any closer. I need time to be alone. I... I’ll be in my room, so laisse-moi tranquille.”  
“M-Ma chérie...”  
“K-Kiana...”  
I thought it would only be Keira’s tears that was capable of breaking my heart. But now... Kiana’s tears made me just as doleful that it made my chest squeeze in pain.

With Kiana heading up to her room, Keira sat back on the sofa as she had to stop herself as well from crying because of what just unfolded.  
“W-Why... w-why now...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle... we knew this was going to happen one way or another remember? Kiana’s a very smart little girl. There’s no use in taking back what’s happened already.”  
“M-Monsieur...”  
Pulling her closer to my side, I hugged Keira in my arms and patted her back to calm her down.  
“I-I knew she was going to find out everything... b-but... it’s still scaring me that this is going to affect her while she’s growing up...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Keira...”  
“I... I just don’t want her to grow up like me Joon... she... she deserves so much better than that.”  
Closing my eyes, it looks like there was only one thing I could do.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’ll take care of things from here, my lady.”  
“M-Monsieur Joon... what are you...”  
Wiping Keira’s tears, I pressed a soft kiss on her forehead and the ring she wore around her neck before I stood up from the sofa and told her,  
“I’ll talk to Kiana. Let me take care of this since I’m the one who failed to take responsibility and started this whole mess in the first place.”

Taking a deep breath in and out as I stood right outside of Kiana’s room, I tried knocking first.  
“Little mademoiselle? Are you doing okay in there?”  
“...”  
But I only got silence in return. That was to be expected.  
“Okay, that was a stupid question. I know you’re surprised, and you have every right to be. If you want to blame anyone, blame me but not your Maman. She’s the least person who’s going to hurt you since you’re her most important ma chérie.”  
“Leave me alone beau monsieur.”  
It looks like her stubbornness also comes from both Keira and I. With a long sigh, I pulled out an _unopened blue envelope_ from my pocket and slipped it under Kiana’s door.  
“I know no amount of apologies would be enough to explain everything that happened between your mother and I, but... just know, Keira loves you very much little mademoiselle. And so do I.”  
“...”  
Even in the silence she was giving me, I just continued on.  
“Kiana... I may not be enough to become the father in your eyes... but I’m trying to be more than enough to become **the man** who can be by your mother’s side now and in the future. That’s why, I hope you read that letter once you’re ready to let me in as well.”  
“If that’s one of your many letters to Maman, I don’t want to read it...”  
Feeling my heart shatter at Kiana’s words, I just placed my right hand on the door admitting to her,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“That letter is for you, little mademoiselle... it’s for _you and you alone_. I think I’ve said everything I had wanted to say already, so I’ll leave you alone now.”  
“...”  
Without even a one word reply, I had to fight back the dry tears coming out of my eyes as I took my hand off of the door and was about to head downstairs until,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...!”  
“I... I’ll give you the _benefit of the doubt_ beau monsieur... but only for Maman’s sake. I’ll allow you to be by her side like _**The Giving Tree**_ , so don’t you ever think of betraying her just like that boy did in the story. No matter what. D'accord?”  
With such resolute zeal on her _amber colored eyes_ as Kiana looked up at me once she had opened the door, I could only nod and place my hand on top of her head.  
“Oui. Noted on that loud and clear, little mademoiselle.”

From that point on, just like Keira had given me another chance, Kiana also did the same for me. You would think now that everything was in the clear now, things would go smooth sailing from there. Yet...

**_The last twist to the story was just in the making._ **

***  
 _7 years later...  
Spring of 1989  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

_ BGM: Losing myself (Kim Na Young) _   
_Seven long years slipped away into a moment in time._

Everything was still the same between the three of us, Keira, Kiana, and I.

Mine and Keira’s relationship still grew stronger as I could now come back here in _Northern France_ more often from _Seoul_ ever since I got promoted at the courthouse. Adding to that, Kiana grew up to be an energetic, lively, and intelligent _13 year old_.

Looking back at everything that’d happened throughout the years, Keira couldn’t help but laugh while leaning her head on my left shoulder as the two of us were watching the sea’s waves and the night sky from the rooftop again.  
“ **Time doesn’t really wait for no one** huh Namjoon-ssi...? Kiana is already in middle school and she mastered three languages in her age... and she even wants to become the first diplomat between _France_ and _Korea_... what an unbelievable _fille_ she is...”  
“Let her dream big Keira-ssi, she’s a product of us remember? Let’s just support her for whatever she wants to achieve. The world is a big place and she’s of course trying to find her place in this big world.”  
Facing me, Keira pecked me on my lips and said while snuggling closer to my side,  
“Just like how the **two of us who are from completely different parts of this big world found one another**?”  
“Exactly like that, mon chéri. Kiana really got her smarts from you.”  
“Oh please. Ne dis pas ça, monsieur lawyer. Her smarts definitely came from you.”  
In this big world, I had _two homes_ now. And I wouldn’t change anything about it.  
“Keira... by the way, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for years.”  
“Oh? A secret? I didn’t think you’d still have something that you hadn’t told me.”  
I knew at the back of my mind that I somehow had to tell Keira the one last thing I haven’t told her the years I’ve been with her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“When I was looking for you back then... I went to see those people as my last resort, my lady.”  
“You mean _my parents_ then monsieur Joon? I know already.”  
“I wanted to tell you ever since but... w-wait... did you just say you...?!”  
Giving my hands a tight squeeze, Keira just nodded and confessed,  
“I knew for a long time already Joon. I knew because those same people tried to communicate with me again through a letter telling me about _a certain monsieur_ coming to visit them without due notice?”  
I could only gulp nervously as I was already caught red-handed.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-If you’re mad, I’m going to say sorry now.”  
“No need, monsieur dimples. I know whether back then and now, _you mean well_. You always do. And I’ll forever be thankful for that.”  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
Embracing Keira without any doubt in mind, she just patted me on my back saying the words I love hearing the most from her,  
“Monsieur Namjoon-ssi, _saranghanda_.”  
“Mademoiselle Keira-ssi, _je t’aime_.”

It seemed like _**fate**_ finally had decided to leave us alone and let us live our lives without unforeseen interruptions.

I was convinced of that _till one certain spring day when I wasn’t around_.

 _*knock* *knock*_  
“Kiana, ma chérie, can you please get that for now? I’m in the kitchen.”  
“Oui Maman, I’ll get it. Who could it be? Beau monsieur didn’t say he’ll be ba—,”  
Kiana could only blink puzzlingly at the silhouettes that stood in front of her sight the minute she’d opened the door.  
“...”  
“Ma chérie, so who’s at the d—-,”  
Keira could only stare in pure disbelief as well at the two figures, whom she had _considered ghosts_ , that were now at her home’s doorstep.  
“Bonjour toi...”  
“Keira...”  
The words that Keira could only manage to say next were,  
“W-What the hell are you doing here, _Mère_ , _Père_?!”

***  
 _A year later...  
Summer of 1990:  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: Nostalgia (Davichi)_  
With Keira’s parents trying to come back to her life and Kiana’s, she was plainly perplexed if whether this was worth it or not.  
“J-Joon... I... I feel so lost? Do they really think it’s that easy to forgive them for what they did now they want to be a part of Kiana’s life?”  
“Keira, my lady... it’s perfectly fine to feel that way. You gave me a chance too, remember? Why not little-by-little take a chance on them?”  
“Y-You were worth of my forgiveness because **you never stopped loving me in return**... but them... I don’t know if they even deserve the word called forgiveness...”  
As Keira caressed my cheeks while stopping herself from crying, I followed her suit and kissed her eyelids saying,  
“Forgiveness is also _trying_ mademoiselle, but I recall my mother telling me that it will all be worthwhile in the end as long as you don’t give up. For Kiana’s sake.”  
“M-Merci monsieur Joon. I’ll keep that in mind. For Kiana’s sake alone.”

Even only with baby steps, Keira opened up her heart slowly to _fixing the very damaged bridges_ between her and her parents. Reminding herself she’s only doing this for Kiana to grow up with both of her grandparents by her side.

_And that’s when fate had wanted to settle things once and for all in the summer of 1990 after Kiana had turned 14._

_**The last twist to our story.** _

**  
 _A few days later:  
Middle of august, 1990  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: Nostalgia (Davichi) cont._  
“What time is Maman coming home?”  
“If they left around two hours ago, they should be here any minute now, Kiana. I just hope her and your grandparents didn’t get into an argument again.”  
Kiana and I were walking along the beach front near their home while waiting for Keira and her parents who drove to _Paris_ early this morning to take care of something personal there.  
“Jeez, I told Maman I should’ve come along with her... knowing her relationship with _Grand-mère and Grand-père_ too.”  
“Well at least now, your Maman can withstand being in the same place and room with them. Isn’t that progress already, little mademoiselle?”  
While she was looking out for tiny crabs on the sand, Kiana glared at me and almost clicked her tongue saying,  
“ _Hé_! Beau monsieur, how many times do I have to say to stop calling me like that already? I’m not a little girl anymore! Right monsieur cr—?! A-Ahh...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kiana?!”  
Coming to her side hurriedly after she lets out an echoing shriek, I could sigh at how Kiana was now pouting at her bleeding finger that got pinched by the tiny crab’s claws.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Haaaa... don’t scare me like that. Even when you’re already _14 years old_ , you still haven’t learned your lesson of being careful with crabs.”  
“S-Sheesh... I don’t need another lecture from you beau monsieur, I already get that a lot from Maman.”  
Grabbing my handkerchief, I gently pressed it on her finger to stop the bleeding and took a bandaid from my pocket to cover it on her wound.  
“Okay. You better change the bandaid once we get back and wet the cut’s area so it won’t get infected.”  
“I thought you were a lawyer? Not a doctor? Jeez.”  
I was about to sigh again because of Kiana’s smart mouth taking over but then... I couldn’t help but get this uneasy feeling the moment I looked up at the just clear summer sky turn gloomy with the _grey_ clouds.  
“Oh... it looks like it’s going to rain for the first time this summer finally?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“R-Right...”  
And those **grim premonitions** then became a reality when,  
“T-There you two are...! M-Monsieur...! K-Kiana...!”  
“Ah...! Auntie Risa...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Miss Risa...? Did something happen? Why do you look so troubled right now?”  
As Risa’s heavy sobbing voice then took over, her next words could only make _my whole mind black out, my eyes grow the widest and shake in the most dreadful way, and my heart almost close enough to stop beating_ and Kiana gasp in horror.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What did you just say...?”  
“A-Auntie R-Risa... d-do you mean...?!”

Without even another single word, I made a run for it and before I knew it, the rain started pouring on perfect timing as well as my tears. That one woman’s voice just lingered around me on top of Risa’s horrifying news.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“Merci... thank you for being by my side, always. My monsieur dimples. My monsieur Joon. My Kim Namjoon-ssi.”_  
“I-It... i-it looks like K-Keira and her parents... t-they got into a car accident as they were making their way back here...”  
“K-Keira... n-no... w-why...?! d-damn it...!”

“A-And... t-they’re all in critical conditions back in _Paris_...”  
As I stared helplessly at the raining _grey_ sky, my tears were now being mixed with the raindrops. I gripped tightly onto the _silver necklace_ around my neck with my chest squeezing heavily in pain.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“G-God... w-why... w-why are you trying to take K-Keira from me again?! S-Shit...! J-Just why?!”  
The only grey I badly wanted to see right at that very point in time was the _gray eyes_ of the most important person to me.

But I guess... _**fate** really wanted to slip Keira away from me like a slip in time all over again just like that one certain summer in **august**. And this time, it was to prove she wasn’t mine from the very start._

**  
 _Winter of 1990:  
Paris, France_

 _BGM: Winter Flower (Younha feat. RM)_  
 _“Jeez my monsieur, are you crying again? Aren’t lawyers to be considered stronger when it comes to stopping their own tears?”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Mademoiselle... mother, father, and Geong Min-ah say they really want to see you again. I watched my mother and _dongsaeng_ cry again for you. P-Please wake up... jebal... s'il-vous-plaît...”  
 _Seasons flew by. Time went on_. And here I was still waiting for that one woman to wake up after months of her being in a coma.

The day after the accident, Kiana, Risa, and I immediately traveled to _Paris_ where Keira and her parents were admitted. Sadly... **Keira was the only one who survived**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What...?”  
“D-Doctor... y-you mean that...?”  
“Yes. I’m unhappy to say that the parents of mademoiselle Keira didn’t make it. With the two of them being in the front seat... they were the ones who got heavily impacted by the accident. It’s a miracle itself that their daughter was still breathing when she got brought to the E.R., even with all the hemorrhage she went through.”  
 _ **Fate**_ really was a funny and tragic thing indeed they say huh?  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“H-How about Keira then doc? W-What happened to her?”  
“Because she was sitting in the backseat, she only suffered a few broken ribs and a light head injury. We operated on her and the surgery was a success. But...”  
My heart continued pounding in doubt as I had to ask,  
*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“B-But what doc?”  
With a wistful sigh, the young doctor just looked at me and said straightforwardly,  
“But we don’t know when she’s going to regain her consciousness, monsieur.”

*thump* *thump*  
“I-It still felt like _deja vu_ mon chéri... when Madame told me about you being a coma, and now... this happened...”  
Once Keira got settled in a room, I didn’t stop visiting her. I took a long leave from my work in _Seoul_ so I could be by her side the moment she wakes up. I had asked Risa to take care of Kiana for me as she still had school back in _Northern France_. Madame also came by to watch over Keira when I had to settle things outside of the hospital, especially with regards to secretly giving a private memorial ceremony for Keira’s parents.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“So... so many things have happened while you were sleeping my lady... but the one thing... **the only sole thing everyone wishes now is for you to finally come back to us**.”  
Squeezing her left hand tightly with both of mine, I gazed at Keira’s still closed eyes and watched her breathing and heartbeat being monitored by machines around her.  
“P-Please... p-please bring Keira back to me and Kiana... please just bring her back to us... I... I’ll do anything to see Keira open those _gray eyes_ of hers again...”  
I don’t know if I was _pleading to a heavenly being, to Keira’s guardian angel, or to this shit called fate_ , but all I knew was every tear that dropped onto the **necklace with the two rings around her neck** , I just prayed. Prayed for my mademoiselle to come back.

“...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...!”  
My heart felt like it wanted to leap out of my chest the second Keira’s eyelids slowly opened and I sensed her left hand’s fingertips moving that was being held in mine.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Keira...?! M-Mademoiselle?”  
On perfect timing, her gray gaze instantly found my brown eyes like it was the _most natural thing in the world_.  
“T-Thank god... t-thank god you’re finally awake my lady...”  
Nevertheless, the first sentence that then came out of her mouth then left me the most speechless and terrified in all the years I’ve been living.  
“Who... who are you?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”

_No amount of tears were enough to describe the very emotions I was feeling at that exact second in time._

**_“Let’s just live for the hope of it all from now on my monsieur Joon.”_**  
And like a haunted melody, I can see Keira, the love of my life, _literally getting lost in our memories. **Fate** really got the last laugh in the end_. Now, there was only one thing I could do.

_**For calling Keira mine, she was also mine to lose after all.** _

***  
 _4 years later...  
Summer of 1994  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _ **BGM: august (Taylor Swift)**_  
“Maman, don’t forget to take your medicines and go to your doctor appointments in time okay?”  
“I know. I know. I didn’t think my precious ma chérie would grow up to be not only beautiful and smart, but also a big nagger just because she’s _18_ now and is off to the college of her dreams after her summer vacation is over.”  
Kiana could only pull in her mother for one more hug after getting all of her luggage ready.  
“Jeez Maman, don’t make me worried about you already when I haven’t left yet. Thank you to the technology gods that the _cellphone_ was finally made and I can contact you in case something happens too.”  
Keira just patted her daughter’s rosy cheeks and looked straight into her _amber colored eyes_ saying,  
“I’ll be okay, ma chérie. Just go and live your life and oh, don’t forget to bring me photos of _**Lake District**_ , d’accord?”  
Kiana smiled and nodded as she gave Keira a kiss goodbye on the right cheek.  
“Oui. You know I can never say no to you, Maman!”  
“And right, don’t forget to say goodbye to Monsieur Kim here too, ma chérie.”  
As Kiana’s amber eyes met my brown ones, she just tried her hardest not to roll her eyes at me while ignoring me completely and just gave me a slight bow with a wry smile saying,  
“I’m off then, Monsieur Kim? I hope you don’t cause trouble for Maman. D'accord? _Majayo_?”  
“K-Kiana...!”  
“N-No, it’s okay mademoiselle.”  
Taking her backpack and trolley, Kiana then walked out of the door and closed it behind her without even looking back.  
“M-Monsieur Kim... I’m sorry for Kiana just now... she’s just in a rebellious age I guess.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
After what happened these four years, I couldn’t blame why Kiana treated me like I was someone irrelevant in her life now because I deserve it.  
“It’s okay, mademoiselle... I completely understand.”  
“That silly daughter...! She left her cellphone here in the sofa.”  
“I’ll give it to her mademoiselle.”  
As Keira gave me the cellphone, I than ran out of the door to somehow catch Kiana in time.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kiana...!”  
“?”  
The minute she heard my voice calling out to her name, she stopped her footsteps and faced me on cue. I then handed over the cellphone to her.  
“You left it on the sofa.”  
“Oh. Merci then. Is that all? I have a train to catch.”  
“L-Little mademoiselle...”  
Before I knew it, Kiana looked at me frustratingly as her voice then yelled out,  
“Don’t call me that! You... you have lost that right for _four years_ already Monsieur Kim!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kiana...”  
“Espèce de lâche. You coward. I don’t want to talk to a four year old coward such as yourself. I gave you the _benefit of the doubt_ to be the kind of man Maman deserves but after what you had decided to do, I can’t look at you the same way ever again. **Not as the once most important man in Maman’s life and most especially, not as my Père**.”  
Kiana said to me with such a resolute tone. Taking a deep breath, she just told me lastly before she turned around grabbing her trolley,  
“When I come back from my last summer vacation before my college classes start, **I’m going to tell Maman the entire truth**. Be sure you’ll be prepared for that, Monsieur Kim.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kiana...”  
“Au revoir.”

Watching Kiana’s silhouette grow smaller and smaller from my view, I could only look pitifully at the sea’s waves from a distance while opening the _silver pendant_ I was still wearing through all these painstakingly long years.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Looks like the story won’t be mine to tell anymore, mademoiselle Keira-ssi.”

_And that was how in a simple month of **august** through all these years, it had wrapped up a story of happy beginnings, heart-wrenching goodbyes, unexpected reunions, and bittersweet endings altogether._

_**Yet, the story of course was far from over, Kayla.** _

****  
 _Summer of 2020:  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: 네모난 바퀴 (Hope) (BoA)_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why...”  
The tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my _light hazel colored eyes_ at what I had just finished reading.  
“G-Grandmama... G-Grandfather...”  
Even if I was only in a reader’s perspective, why did my heart hurt so much? Was it because I never knew she was hiding so much behind that usual cheerful smile of hers? Was it because I didn’t know how to feel about that one man? Was it _sadness_? Was it _empathy_? I had no idea.  
 _“I hope you don’t resent anyone in any way right after you reach the end of this story, Kayla. Forgiveness is never easy, but it heals my dear. And it will feel like freedom.”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What do you mean I hope I don’t resent anyone grandmama...? W-What exactly happened during those _four years_ with grandfather...?”  
As I wiped off the heavy signs of tears from my now swollen up face, I then grabbed my phone to look at what time it was and was surprised that it was already close to midnight by the time I had finished reading.  
“A-Ahhhh, I can’t believe you’d make me cry like a damn baby even when you’re not around grandmama... but...”  
Right at that very moment, right at that very second, it felt like I just grew closer to my grandmother. _Closer to who she really was and what was beneath her heart and the heart of someone who’s the most important person to her._  
“It’s late already, but I’ll treasure this book forever grandmama just like I’ll treasure this home from now on too.”  
Tightly hugging the book closer to my chest, I then went down from the attic and headed straight to my grandmother’s room which was my room now.

“Grandmama... if I ever find a person like that just like you did with grandfather... how am I supposed to know?”  
I whispered to myself lastly with a bit of dry tears at the story’s very memory that lingered inside my heart and thoughts while glancing at the book which was now on the nightstand right beside the bed and before I turned off the nightstand lamp.

**  
 _The next day:_

Right after the movers helped me settle the rest of my things that had arrived, it occurred to me that it was already way past lunch time and since there was no food to use or cook in the kitchen, I decided to head out.  
“And of course, I’m bringing you along with me.”  
As I grabbed my handbag, phone, keys, and wallet, I then stared lovingly at the red book that I hadn’t let out of my sight since yesterday.

Walking along alone the small park found near the beach’s beautiful pristine coastline, I just gazed at the picturesque view of the sunlit beach in the early summer afternoon and the sounds of the sea’s waves echoed with the sounds of children laughing. For some reason, the view tangled up a weird, but warm feeling in my chest.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“The place you live is really such a beautiful place indeed, grandmama.”  
I told myself with a small smile as I then continued walking along.

“Oh? An ice cream shop?”  
While I was walking around the main town streets after my quick lunch at a small cozy cafe nearby, my eyes were then caught by a pastel colored ice cream shop on sight.  
“The **_magic shop ice cream shop_** huh?”  
The cute name made me let out a chuckle as I checked if it was open or not. Thankfully, it was that I then didn’t hesitate to come inside.  
 _*chime sounds*_  
“Welcome!”  
As the pretty echoes of the chimes rang inside my ears as soon as I had came in, another cheery voice then echoed my hearing as well. The small ice cream shop was very pastel with all kinds of shades of pink, blue, yellow, and purple painted all over the wall. It felt a bit childish, yet it felt like a small snug home for some reason.  
“Que recommandez-vous Monsieur?”  
 _(what do you recommend sir?)_  
When I stood in front of the big freezer that contained the different flavors of ice cream they had to offer, the boy with the _**bright brown eyes**_ who was wearing a _teal colored shirt_ standing behind the cash register just stared at me a bit confused. We then both stared at each other in confusion. Why is he looking at me weirdly right now? Did I say something wrong?  
“Um...”  
“It’s your first time here, am I right then?”  
He just smiled at me with a _boyish smile_ and a slight laugh coming out from his mouth. His laugh which almost resonated throughout the whole shop. How did he know? I just nodded a bit embarrassed in reply.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Good thing there’s only the two of us here right now... haaaa... I wish I could crawl myself into a hole.  
“Since I’m taking your nod as your reply that you can understand me, I’m sorry if I made you feel a bit awkward just now. I... I don’t know how to speak _French_... which is of course, very embarrassing to say.”  
The boy with the bright brown eyes just scratched the back of his **_sleek black hair_** trying to laugh off and feeling apologetic for the strange silence between us. His reaction was a bit refreshing that it made me unknowingly smile saying,  
“Uh-uh. It’s okay. I should say sorry too for thinking that you could speak _French_. It’s just out of habit, I guess.”  
“I see. So you’re from the mainland then? From _Paris_ , I take?”  
My eyes just blinked at how he knew that as well.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yes. How did you know again?”  
He just shrugged to keep his mysterious persona intact before he proceeded to walk towards right across from where I was standing with the ice cream freezer right in between us as we saw each other eye to eye.  
“Just my _Hope_ intuition. So, what would you like? I would recommend the _mint chocolate chip_ , but it’s usually the least one being chosen.”  
Hope intuition? What did he mean by that?  
“Hmm... since you suggested it, I’ll try it. Mint chocolate chip flavor.”  
It was his brown eyes’ turn next to go wide at my answer.  
“Hmm? Is something wrong Monsieur?”  
Snapping back to reality, he just asked me what size of ice cream cup I wanted next.  
“A-Ah, no, no. It’s just... it’s the first time a customer wanted to try the flavor I suggested. What size do you want?”  
“Oh really? I guess it’s because of the little kids who already have their fave flavors and all?”  
He just nodded with another passing laugh.  
“Exactly like that. You’re also a good mind reader then huh?”  
“No, it’s just my intuition too silly.”  
As I watched him scoop up the ice cream using the scooper, he asked again,  
“What size of the cup do you want?”  
“Hmm... do you have the chocolate _Belgian_ waffle cones then?”  
He stared oddly at me on cue.  
“You want it on a cone instead of a cup?”  
I tilted my head and nodded telling him,  
“Of course? Is there something wrong?”  
He then lets out a slightly louder laugh than the last one and said to me,  
“You really are the _rarest_ customer I’ve ever met so far.”  
“How so?”  
My eyebrows arched up curiously of what he meant.  
“Because nobody is fun enough to order take-out ice cream on cones and even ask for _Belgian_ cones nonetheless. You’re the very first one.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“The very first one huh?”  
I felt my heart skip at the familiar line that he said which reminded me of the story my grandparents wrote.  
 _“You’ll know that when you find your **the one**.”_  
“Um? Mademoiselle are you okay?”  
As I was snapped back to reality by the voice of the boy standing in front of my eyesight, I just nodded before he then handed over carefully my two scoops of mint chocolate chip wrapped around the chocolate _Belgian_ waffle cone like I had wanted.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Um, yes I’m okay. Merci, um...?”  
The very minute our hands met when I reached out to take the ice cream cone from him, the boy with the bright brown eyes which almost looked like it was smiling as well as his lips formed to a _handsome, boyish James Dean smile_ telling me,  
“My name is _Hoseok_. But, you can call me _Hope_. Um...?”  
H-Hope? Is that his nickname or something?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Holding on tightly to the chocolate cone near my chest, I then told him in return,  
“Bonjour. My name is Kayla. It’s nice to meet you then Monsieur Hope.”

We just gave each other cordial smiles and before I knew it, little signs were unfolding in front of my _very hazel eyes_ but of course just like the one line from my grandparents’ story... **_the story was too early to tell for now._**

_— end of august._

****

~~_finished: 10/04/2020_ ~~


	3. exile (the last kiss) : a Min Yoongi story (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second story of the folklore series 🙂
> 
> Part 1 of 2 of Min Yoongi’s story 🖤
> 
> ⚠️ trigger warning: mentions of death ⚠️
> 
> for Risa and Trish, thank you always 💐

_**Story 2: exile (the last kiss)** _   
_a Min Yoongi story_   
Part 1 of 2

***  
 _Summer of 2020:_  
 _Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: FALLING ASLEEP AGAIN (GFRIEND)_  
“What are you reading, mademoiselle Kayla?”  
As I was sitting down and enjoying my ice cream, the boy named Hoseok then sat down across from me and peeked at the familiar red book I then opened up on my side of the table.  
“Ah, Monsieur Hoseok... you surprised me.”  
He just looked at me slightly amused of my reaction with those brown eyes of his.  
“This is the first time I’m having someone call me Monsieur since I started working here.”  
“Do you feel uncomfortable when I call you that then?”  
Shaking his hands quickly, he said with his eyes going wide,  
“N-No, no! It’s not like that, it’s just... it feels kind of new to me. But... it doesn’t mean I don’t like it!”  
I couldn’t help but let out a giggle telling him,  
“Okay, okay. No need to be so defensive.”

Opening the book to the next story, Hoseok then said to me while focusing his gaze at the open book on the table,  
“This is the first time too I’m watching someone stay at the shop after ordering take-out to read a book.”  
My lips just turned to a smile as I said,  
“This isn’t just any book you know. This is currently two of the most important things left to me by the most important person in my life.”  
“Hmmm... who knew you were a romantic person then. You must really love your special someone, don’t you?”  
I just blinked at his question as it caught me off guard however I couldn’t stop myself from stifling out a laugh the next minute. T-This guy... this guy is so funny, does he really think that?  
“D-Did I say something funny???”  
He looked at me baffled of my reaction with his bright brown eyes turning so big in shock and his facial expression looking like the surprised emoji as I then told him,  
“A-Ah, I’m sorry for laughing so much... it’s just you might have misunderstood something Monsieur. The someone who is my most important person right now is my grandmother.”  
“O-Oh... I see then. I feel like I’m looking more of a fool the more time I’m talking to you.”  
Hoseok and I just continued to innocently laugh off the awkwardness between us and somehow, it felt like I found my first friend in this foreign place.  
“Don’t worry. You’re making it easy to talk to you to be honest. You somehow remind me of my grandmother.”  
His eyebrows then arched up curiously.  
“Oh? Your grandmother? Is she the one who lives here then?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
When he then mentioned grandmother, I felt my heart squeeze a bit like a heartache. Trying to smile, I just told him,  
“Yeah, you could say that... she’s the most important person to me after all.”  
Hoseok then stared at me for a few moments in silence before he then asked with a small sigh and leaned his back on the chair,  
“Is it okay if I call you Kayla without the mademoiselle?”  
I almost had to catch my breath because I thought he was about to ask me something so serious.  
“S-Sure, I don’t mind Monsieur Hoseok.”  
Shaking his head, he then pointed out quickly,  
“No, no. You don’t need to be so formal, call me ‘ **Hope** ’ instead.”  
Hope huh? Now I’m even more convinced that’s his nickname. I told my head curiously.  
“Okay then, Monsieur Hope.”  
“Jeez, that’s still so formal but... fine. I’ll let you be the second one to call me like that then.”  
The second one?  
“The second one? And here I thought I was the first one?”  
He just smiled playfully at me as if he remembered someone and told me,  
“For some reason even when you said to me that I remind you of your grandmother, you remind me too of the grandmother I used to know.”  
“Oh really?”  
Even if I was curious to know the answer Hoseok had, I wasn’t prepared enough of the next sentence that then came out of his mouth.  
“Yeah... but I heard she passed away already.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
D-Did I just hear that right just now?  
“M-Monsieur Hope, was the grandmother’s name whom you know... _**Keira**_?”  
Hoseok’s bright brown eyes started shaking in shock when he heard me mention that one name as we stared at each other wide-eyed.  
“H-How do you know that name...?”  
Taking a deep breath, I opened up the first page of the red book in my hands and showed him the name that somehow we both knew of as if it were drawn by some _invisible string_ of fate.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“That’s because she’s my grandmother, Monsieur Hope...”  
Before we knew it, our echoing heartbeats were the only one echoing along with the silence inside the whole ice cream shop.

> ****  
>  _My dear Kayla,_  
>  _the next story you’re about to read is what life does to two people who loved each other so much to the point of them breaking it off in the end._  
>  _Thinking that person was your **homeland** , but he wasn’t after all._  
>  _Thinking that person was your **crown** , but she wasn’t after all._
> 
> _Yet, even at the very ending, they were drifted off back to the very beginning. And that’s where things started changing with no given signs._   
>  _Of course, changes can either be good or bad._
> 
> _But what would you feel if the person you thought who still existed didn’t actually exist anymore?_   
>  _And the **ending** was something you won’t even come to like?_
> 
> _This story is about a man named **Min Yoongi** and a woman named **Kolette** who was both such an extraordinary person and doctor._

****  
 _Paris, France_  
 _Summer of 2016:_

**July 9th.**

_Which is right... I love or loved you?_  
I lost count how many times I had asked myself that before my whole life flashed before my very eyes.

I remember that **July 9th** and the beat of his heart.  
Yet, why is that the only thing I can remember?

“D-Damn it Kolette, open your eyes... please just open your eyes.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Warm hands. Those familiarly nostalgic warm hands. That deep soothing voice. The voice that was once my _**homeland**_. As my eyelids started to open, his voice was the only thing audible in my hearing along with the sound of the machines giving me air and the heart rate monitor.  
“Y-Yoongi...?”  
And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t think that the first thing I’d see was the same _**cinnamon brown eyes**_ that had haunted me for years looking straight into my green ones.

It almost felt like _**I’ve seen this film before**_ , but why did it also feel like I’ve also _**seen myself leaving at the side door?**_

***  
 _Summer of 2009:_  
 _Seoul, South Korea_  
 _Seoul National University (SNU)_

 _BGM: Dear. (Davichi)_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“No...! No...! No...! I’m going to be late! Professor Nam is going to kill me!”  
Tying my _red brown hair_ with my rubber hair tie, I carried my notes and made a run for the college of medicine’s building as I got up late already for my next lecture. Even though I’m only less than three years away from taking the national licensure exam and passing it and taking oath, every day was really a rollercoaster ride for me especially when you’re an international student taking up medicine.  
“S-Shit, why did I even get picked to be the leader of the bloodletting team for the university’s yearly blood donation drive today of all days?!”  
While I was busy scolding myself out loud instead of in my own thoughts, my footsteps stopped running the second something awestruck caught my sight.  
 _*piano sounds*_  
“A-A piano echoing this early in the morning?”  
It was coming from the building near where the college of medicine was, I recall... that’s where the building of the college of music is too?  
 _*piano sounds*_  
“What a beautiful melody...”  
Feeling curious of where the melodious sound was coming from, I made my way towards that one direction only, completely forgetting my morning lecture as if I was entranced.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
My _green eyes_ trembled at the sight of the silhouette’s figure that was the one behind playing the piano.  
“S-So it was a boy after all who was playing huh...”  
Just watching the young man with the _black, undercut hair_ and with the _bewitching hands_ who were playing the piano in such ease but with prowess, I could only watch him from a distance so I wouldn’t accidentally disturb him.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“You must be a real genius indeed to be in the college of music huh?”  
I asked myself curiously in a whisper. I continued to gaze in admiration at him and listened to his piano playing until he finished the song. Yet, the second he stopped playing, he frustratingly pounded his hands on the keyboard’s keys saying,  
“H-Haaaa... that song... that wasn’t just enough.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I-Is he kidding me? Did he really think that his playing just now wasn’t enough? I was about to give him a piece of my mind until,  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
And then right on cue, my phone’s alarm caught me absolutely in surprise the second it started ringing loudly.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit...! It’s this late already?!”  
Looking at the time, I made another sprint for it as I was already late for my first class for today. While I was in a panic run, I didn’t even take notice that something had fell out of my white lab coat already.

 _Around late noon of the same day:_  
“There. You’re good to go. Keep the bandage on your arm dry for five hours, okay? And avoid strenuous physical activity or heavy lifting for the next five hours.”  
It’s been more than two hours already since the bloodletting drive started here at the campus. And of course, it was still very busy that I had barely time to lean my head back and take a deep breath.  
“Haaaaa... that was like my 12th one already. Why are most of the other students coming over to me as well?”  
My best friend and fellow doctor too in the making, Areum, just laughed at my tired reaction as she pointed out to me from the seat beside me,  
“You are our team leader, do you need to be reminded of that?”  
Scoffing off her question, I just replied,  
“Hmph. No thank you. I’ve already been scolded enough by Professor Nam this morning.”  
“That’s because you were late _pabo_! But of course he couldn’t do a thing about it since you got the highest mark again for our exams. And you’re still the one with the highest grades in our year. How do you even do it?! And you’re an international student too...”  
Now it was my turn to laugh at her surprised reaction.  
“I just study hard Areum-ssi. That’s all. I can’t slack off too since I’m on a scholarship and I promised my father I’m going to become a doctor he can be proud of no matter what.”  
 _“Papa... I’m going to become someone you can be proud of when I grow up!”  
“I know you will sweet child of mine, and I can’t wait to see what kind of person you’ll grow up to!”_  
Feeling a slight twinge take over my chest at the rather sad memory, Areum then told me,  
“You could’ve studied easily in universities like _Cambridge_ and _Oxford_ but you really chose to study here while being so far away from your family in Europe too?”  
Remembering the real reason why I left Europe to pursue my medical studies here in Korea, I just smiled at my best friend saying,  
“Let’s just say that I want to explore the world as much as I can for now, Areum-ssi. Now, let’s get this bloodletting activity done with already.”

 _BGM: Would U (Red Velvet)_  
Our bloodletting activity was nearly finished and I was finally on my last student donor, the lucky _13th_ one. But I couldn’t believe so easily the figure who was now standing in front of my small table.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I-It couldn’t be?  
“I’m not too late, aren’t I?”  
It was him. The mysterious piano player outside of the college of music’s building this morning. The young man who was the reason why I ended up late for my class this morning too.  
“A-Ah, no, no. You made it just in time. Please sit down.”  
As he sat down in front of me with just the small table coming in between us, I still felt like a stunned fool at how this activity brought someone like him here. It didn’t help too that my green eyes just met his _cinnamon brown eyes_ in an instant. I had to look away quickly and made myself busy as I grabbed the disposable surgical gloves and blood pack.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“So... which arm do you want me to extract your blood from?”  
“Either one is fine with me actually. Can you suggest me which one though?”  
“Ah sure. Of course. Are you sure it’s fine with either one though? Since you play the piano and a—?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Shit. Shit. Shit. Realizing my slip of the tongue, the man with the cinnamon brown eyes just chuckled at my wide-eyed reaction as he then pulled out something from his pants’ pocket and placed it on the table saying,  
“I believe this belongs to you then, Kolette-ssi from the college of medicine.”  
I felt my whole body go numb and frozen at seeing my student ID that happened to get lost this same morning now on the table and was found by him of all people.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you... I-I got caught red-handed then...”  
“Well you left it at the scene of the crime so yes you got caught. I didn’t think somebody would be there too while I was playing this morning.”  
Feeling embarrassed of where the conversation was going, I just tried to divert the topic and said,  
“Okay. I’m going to let you fill this information sheet up for now and then I can start asking basic health questions as well before we start and know if you’re healthy to be a donor or not.”  
“Changing the conversation I see. Okay, okay, I’ll follow whatever you say, future doctor.”  
 _*thump*_  
For some weird reason, my heart almost skipped a beat at him saying “ _future doctor”_ at me just now. But no way in hell I’m going to admit that of course.

After I watched him fill up the piece of paper in silence, I proceeded to ask him the usual questions I’d asked all of the students that came before him. He answered them all honestly, so in the end, he was fit enough to be a donor.  
“Hmm...”  
As I cleaned the extracting area with antiseptic on both of his right and left arm, I looked for where his veins were popping out more between his two arms.  
“Let’s go with your left arm.”  
“I’ll trust your medical opinion then.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
His words were really throwing me off my focus. Jeez. Shut up for now heart, this is not the time to be misled by a piano player. A very good looking piano player.  
“Here. Choose what squeeze ball you’re going to use so it’ll keep your blood flowing as soon as we start.”  
He then didn’t hesitate to point on the orange one saying,  
“I’ll take the basketball shaped one, doc.”  
 _Doc_ , really? Shaking that thought off, I just ignored what he’d said and handed over the squeeze ball to him and let him lie down on the stretcher before the blood transfusion finally started.

“Sooooo... aren’t you going to tell me how in the world do you and that handsome piano player from the college of music know each other? And why did he have your student ID too?!”  
As I was busy putting away the unused medical materials and blood packs in the big emergency aid bags, Areum couldn’t help but grin suspiciously at me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“J-Jeez. Stop giving me that fishy grin of yours. It’s not what you’re thinking. Got it?”  
“You’re no fun~ I heard he’s the musical genius from the college of music who plays the piano and hasn’t lost an international concours once since he was a little boy.”  
Musical genius huh? Well, ever since I’ve heard him playing the piano this morning, his melodies haven’t left my head even once. But... judging from how he was disappointed by his playing too after he played the song... there must be more to the **_genius_** than what you see in front of you.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Is that so...?”

“Looks like you’re the last one I’ll be saying this to, don’t take the bandage off of your arm and keep it dry for at least five hours okay? And don’t do anything strenuous and heavy physical activity too for the same hours.”  
“You really sound like a real doctor, Kolette-ssi.”  
Trying to avoid his cinnamon brown eyes, I just handed over the melon bread and bottle of water to him.  
“That’s because I’m close to becoming a real one, piano player-ssi.”  
“ _Piano player-ssi_ , really? Didn’t you see my name on the information sheet though?”  
Of course I saw his name on the paper. I was just too reluctant of saying it for a weird reason.  
“Yes. Yes, I saw it. But I don’t think we’re going to see each other again after this since we’re from different colleges and all, so I don’t see the need to mention your na—?!”  
My chest almost felt like leaping the second he pulled the left sleeve of my lab coat which made my green eyes look straight into his cinnamon brown eyes on perfect cue and said to me with his deep, but soft voice,  
“I’m Min Yoongi-ssi from the college of music then. And you are?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m... I’m Kolette from the college of medicine.”

And to me, that day I had thought would just be any mundane one became more eventful and it was thanks to that one young man I’d met.

That unforgettable _**July 9th of 2009**_.

***  
 _Paris, France_  
 _Summer of 2016:_  
 _Day 1 of 365_

 _BGM: Faded Love (Wonder Girls)_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...?”  
It still felt unreal. It still felt unreal that I had regained consciousness again after what happened. And it still felt unreal that the first person my green eyes would see is the same person who haunted my mind and heart for the past years since we walked out of each other’s lives. The same man who had the _black hair and cinnamon brown eyes_... the **same eyes that add insult to injury**. How did he even know about me being here?  
“Damn it Kolette... what the hell happened?! Y-You...”  
Why did he look so worried? I couldn’t sink in the very reason why he was even here. We weren’t each other’s problems for years already, but why is he here now?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“W-What do you think you’re doing?!”  
Taking off my oxygen mask, I was about to take out the I.V. needle on my left hand when he then grabbed my right hand to stop me.  
“Let go.”  
“As if I’m going to watch a doctor such as yourself be reckless in front of me, Kolette.”  
Jerking off his hand away from mine, I almost wanted to glare at him but then...  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
My eyes could only focus on the weird tattoo that had the **number “1”** on my wrist. What was the meaning of this?  
“Kolette, what’s wrong? You’re going pale.”  
And then it all just comes back like a haunted lullaby.

What really happened after I was lying there and bleeding by the road when my car got into a car accident.  
What really happened when I closed my eyes and let my tears fall down for supposedly the last time as I whispered to the cold summer air,  
“Y-Yoongi... I... I’m sorry...”  
 _“Don’t you want to live a little longer and make things right before you actually leave this world, Miss Kolette?”_  
And then a voice I haven’t heard from before took over my hearing. An unknown voice that came out of nowhere. And the voice that had asked me such an absurd question, turned out to be my most wanted question.

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“It... It couldn’t be...”  
“Kolette...!”  
Before I knew it, Yoongi just caught me on time in his arms but I already had fell unconscious once again.

***  
 _Summer of 2009:  
Seoul National University (SNU)  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: Good To Be With You (SOYOU)_  
“We’re looking forward to your next performance, music prodigy Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
“You should definitely study with a piano scholarship in Germany! There are so many well-off individuals willing to sponsor you too.”  
Another win.  
Another award.  
Another set of praises but empty compliments. It had always been like that.  
I lost count on how many years it had been since I played the piano from the bottom of my heart.  
Even though the piano had been my first love, it didn’t feel that way anymore.  
But still, _music_ was everything to me.  
Quite ironic right?

And here I found myself in this university instead of those elite music schools outside of the country. Maybe... maybe something from this place would bring a difference and lead me to a new discovery to my melodic, but dull life.

I never thought anything apart from music would be able to get my attention. It was always my own self I had to think about ever since I was little. But yet... a summer season somehow changed it.  
“K-Kolette...? Is this her name?”  
Ever since I found that student ID of that one woman who mysteriously found me playing the piano in secrecy, I knew. I knew I had to give that ID back to her no matter what that same day. And then that same **_July 9th_** , I met up with the woman with the most extraordinary pair of _green eyes and red brown hair_.

Even if we were from different departments, I knew who the woman with green eyes was. Kolette’s name was not only known because she wasn’t from Korea herself, but also she was the smartest student among her batch. All of the professors agree that she was really one of a kind for the university to have.  
“Oh? You mean Kolette-ssi? She’s always been the top student since she was a freshman. She passes her classes with ease while her classmates have trouble of even passing it.”  
“I heard she even declined one of the professors’ suggestion to let her study in _Cambridge_ or _Oxford_ university back in _Europe_ where she’s from.”  
I wasn’t interested about anybody nor their lives in particular, but for some reason... I had just one question. Why would someone like her be even studying here in another continent in the first place?

Well, after meeting her... she really seemed like the person people were talking about but to me, why did it also feel like there was more to Kolette than what meets the eye? Especially when you look deeply into those green eyes of hers.  
“I’m... I’m Kolette from the college of medicine.”

_A few days later...  
SNU’s main library:_

_*guitar strumming*_  
 **“I have a long way to go but...  
why am I running in place?  
I scream out of frustration,  
but the empty air echoes...”**  
I was busy scribbling in my notes and strumming the chords on my black acoustic guitar at the far hidden room by the second topmost floor in the whole building which was only open to the college of medicine students and graduate studies students. But since it was already late in the afternoon on a Friday, no one was around to stop me from coming here.  
“Finally a real place where there’s just nothing but peace and quiet... and nobody catching me while playing the guitar instead of the piano...”  
I could play the piano anytime, anywhere but for more than a few years already, I fell in love with the guitar. Of course I’d only teach myself to play it when I’m alone, away from other people’s prying eyes. It felt like a getaway for me.  
“Let’s try this next time then,”  
Trying to strum more chords while finishing the lyrics I was writing, I dropped my pen in pure shock when out of the blue,  
“P-Piano player-ssi...?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette-ssi...?”  
A slight familiar voice then took over my hearing as the door opened and revealed the woman with the blinking green eyes and her tied-up red brown hair.  
“W-What are you doing in this room?”  
Closing my lyrics book in a hurry, I had no time to hide my guitar anymore as I just returned her question saying,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-I could ask you the same question though. How did you even find me here?”  
As she also closed the door from behind her, she just sighed and crossed her arms in suspicion.  
“I didn’t? I had a reservation for this room right now cause I have to finish a research for my microbiology thesis... I was genuinely surprised to hear the sounds of guitar playing while I was making my way here too?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Even though we’ve only met twice, how did she manage to find me coincidentally in the places no one would likely even find me at? With a long sigh, I had no choice but to tell her,  
“Well... I guess there’s no point in trying to hide it. I thought that nobody would even be here at the library at this time of the day since it’s Friday and all, that’s why I came here with my guitar to get some peace and quiet.”  
As one of her eyebrows raised in curiosity, she then didn’t hesitate to grab one of the empty chairs in the room and sat down a short distance away from where I was sitting and said,  
“Well... I guess your intuition was wrong then piano player-ssi? Um wait, should I call you _guitar player-ssi_ now?”  
I then said to her with my voice slightly growing loud,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“N-No!”  
“Hmm... I guess there is more to the _genius_ piano player named Min Yoongi-ssi than meets the eye huh? You sounded more natural with the guitar than the piano?”  
As the whole room turned silent as we stared at each other with only the room’s clock ticking that echoed around us, my brown eyes felt stuck for words at what had come out of this woman’s mouth just now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“You sounded more natural with the guitar than the piano?”_  
It was the first time someone had caught me playing the guitar by myself and it was the first time someone had told me that my guitar playing was more natural than my piano playing too. This woman named Kolette... how is she seeing through me so easily even we had just met?  
“You’ve only seen me play on the piano and guitar once though, Kolette-ssi? What makes you say that?”  
I asked her in curiosity on my part. With a smile, she just puts on her glasses and tells me head on while opening the medical book she was carrying,  
“Because your smile while playing the guitar just now was a whole lot different than the one you make when you’re on the piano, Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
My lips unknowingly also formed to a small smile at her words. Standing up from the chair where I was sitting, I then walked up to her while carrying the guitar in my right hand. As soon as she noticed my presence right beside her, Kolette’s green eyes behind her glasses then looked up at me asking,  
“Hmm? Is something wrong?”  
Without even a single drop of doubt, I then asked her,  
“Kolette-ssi, will you listen to my guitar playing then?”  
“Yoongi-ssi,”  
The moment she nodded, I knew at the back of my mind. Maybe the something that I hoped would appear to bring change to my melodic, but dull life wasn’t a something... _**but a someone instead**_. An unlikely someone named Kolette.  
“Sure. I’d be honored to listen to you if you’ll have me.”

She really was like an unexpected beat drop to the usual, repetitive harmony inside of me. _The delicate beginning rush_. That feeling you can know so much, even without knowing anything. At all.

However, just like how every song had a beginning... it would always come to an ending.

***  
 _Summer of 2016:  
A few hours before the accident  
Paris, France_

 _BGM: Always You (leeSA)_  
“It’s a pleasure to have worked with you, Monsieur Producer.”  
“We look forward to more collaborations with you in the near future as well.”  
After my meeting with the music executives from the biggest record company here in the _City of Love_ itself, I was now free to do whatever I wanted for the rest of the day. And all I wanted was to get back to the hotel I was staying at to sleep and finish up the draft mix tracks I was working on a few days ago in Seoul.

And there was another reason why I didn’t need to explore Paris so much. But I don’t want to think about it since it still left a bittersweet aftertaste at the tip of my tongue. A bittersweet aftertaste left for all these damn years.  
 _“Yoongi... over here...!”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Haaaa... I need coffee pronto or else my thoughts would actually lose it for real just by remembering that woman’s voice.”  
Like clockwork, _**July 9th**_ really was a day that I can’t bring myself to not think about her.

_A little while later,  
Cafe de Flore  
Paris, France_

“Voici ton americano glacé. Merci!”  
“Ah, thank you.”  
French people are really cheery huh? After taking my iced coffee, I then went to sit down by the window. Thank god it was a weekday today so there weren’t that many customers around right now.  
 _“Their cafe lattes here are so good but of course you’ll always have your usual americano right?”_  
In the empty chair across from mine, even those green eyes continue to haunt me like a sick melody stuck inside my head. I don’t know why I even went to this cafe of all places... just the memory of this place makes me reminisce so much, but never in a good way.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Yoongi-ssi, she’s okay. That’s why... as her best friend, all you can hope is that she’s okay wherever she is now.”_  
I lost how many times I’ve **kept up with her old friends just to ask how that one woman is**. I know walking out of each other’s lives was the only solution we had, but... I can’t help but think how she is and where she is now. Taking out the small notebook in my shirt’s pocket, I unfolded the old photo inside I’ve been safekeeping for years.  
 _“Kolette’s mother wanted me to give this photo to you, Yoongi-ssi. Will you keep it? She said she knew you would’ve loved to be there for her daughter too back during her very special day even after everything that had happened.”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I wonder why I had kept you safe with me though...”  
It was a photo of the day that woman had took oath as a licensed physician. Her best friend even mentioned she became the top passer. I had no doubt in mind she would reach her dreams especially after all the hard work she had done, and I had witnessed it for myself.  
“I wonder too if you’re saving so many lives already wherever you are now, Kolette-ssi... just like what you had always wanted. **And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day** for you.”  
 _“Let’s just stop hurting each other like this, Min Yoongi-ssi. Please...”_  
Staring at Kolette’s photo for a few more moments, I flinched the second someone passed by and accidentally knocked down my _iced americano_ while almost staining the photo I was holding. Good thing my reflexes managed to save the photo and my clothes from getting coffee stains in time.  
“Désolé monsieur...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“N-No... it’s okay. Please be more careful next time.”

As the young woman immediately fled after apologizing, I just sighed to myself and brushed my free hand through my hair before my phone then started ringing.  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
“Hmm?”  
Checking the caller ID, I didn’t hesitate to answer it next.  
“Hello?”  
“Oh, Yoongi-yah. Not a bad time to call you, I hope?”  
The voice from the other line was no other than my older brother.  
“Yeah, I’m actually just unwinding here at a cafe. Might head back to my hotel in a while and spend the rest of the day there.”  
“I can’t believe you’re my little brother. Being in _Paris_ and you’re only going to hole yourself up inside your hotel room.”  
My brother’s remark somehow made me smile.  
“This is just how your little brother is, _hyung_. Besides, I’m not the traveler type, you know that.”  
“I know, you’d rather be born into a rock in your next life. If not for your piano concours and your trip to Paris back then with Kolette-ssi, you—-,”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Realizing he’d accidentally mentioned that one woman’s name just now, there were a few seconds of silence between us until,  
“Hyung...”  
“No, I’m sorry if I mentioned her Yoongi-yah. That was insensitive of me... I know even if it’s been years already, it’s still not that easy to talk about her, right?”  
My older brother really understood me and my silence so easily. Just like how that one woman did too before.  
 _“Yoongi? The more you’re trying to just look at me in silence, the more I know it’s your way of communication through those cinnamon brown eyes of yours that’ve many words to say...”_  
“You always knew how to finish my words even now, hyung. But I’m fine, don’t worry. Guess time will tell...”  
“Yoongi-yah, by the way, there’s something I need to tell you.”  
When my brother’s voice suddenly turned serious, I knew that whatever he was going to tell me next was important and it was the main reason for his call as well.  
“Hyung, what is it?”  
“Well, it’s about...”  
But right when he was about to tell me the rather important thing, my phone beeped because of another caller on the line.  
“W-What the?”  
“Who’s calling you at the same time right now?”  
Checking the other caller ID, it turned out to be an unknown number.  
“It’s not registered. And it’s definitely not a call from Korea too.”  
“Answer it then. It must be important?”  
Was he trying to stall me from the real reason he’d called?  
“But hyung? Weren’t you going to tell me something important just now?”  
“Don’t sweat it. You can call me back after you take the call.”  
Listening to what my brother had to say, I just told him with a sigh,  
“Whatever you say then hyung. I’ll call you later again. Okay?”  
After hanging up my brother’s call, I then answered the call from the unknown number.  
 _*beep*_  
“Hello?”  
“Allô? Est-ce Monsieur Yoongi Min?”  
Why was someone _French_ calling me?  
“Sorry? I don’t speak French but if you’re trying to ask if this is Yoongi Min, yes speaking. Who is this?”  
“Oh, my apologies then. This is a nurse from the AP-HP hospital here in Paris.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Okay... this conversation is really making me anxious for some reason. Where is this going?  
“Not to be rude but what’s the reason for this call? And how did you even get this contact number?”  
“Do you perhaps know of a doctor named Doctor Kolette?”  
My ears and my whole body throbbed at the name she then said.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-If I say yes, what’s the next thing you’re going to say?”  
“Monsieur, I’m going to be upfront okay?”  
However, what the nurse then replied on the other line made me stand up from where I was sitting in a flash with my eyes shuddering and made my chest thump uncomfortably as I folded the photo in my hand and ran straight out of the cafe in a hurry.

I was at the back of the taxi, still dumbfounded at what the nurse said as I was making my way towards the address she had sent.  
“Doctor Kolette is admitted right now here at the hospital. She got into a car accident.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
“And your number was the last one she was about to contact on her phone. That’s why we reached out to you right now. Since you answered, are you perhaps in Paris too as of now?”  
Kolette... of all the places... of all the dates... why does it feel like _**July 9th**_ is a curse that won’t break for us no matter what we do?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Please be alright...”  
That was the only thing I could pray quietly to myself as I looked out of the taxi’s window with the tiny hope I’ll see those green eyes for real instead of a photo for all these years.

_Moments later...  
Assistance Publique – Hôpitaux de Paris  
Paris, France_

As soon as I arrived at one of the most prominent hospitals here in Europe, I found myself asking the information desk if they knew where the emergency ward was and before I knew it, the nurse who had called me was able to recognize me.  
“You must be monsieur Yoongi Min then?”  
“Yes, I am. How is she?”  
She then led me towards a private room where there that one familiar woman in my memories was.  
“I never thought I’d see the day it was Doctor Kolette who was getting operated and not her being the one behind the operating table.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Is... is she still unconscious?”  
“Sadly yes, monsieur. It’s not definite yet when she’s going to wake up. She suffered a heavy concussion to the back of her skull too. We’re all keeping a close eye on her condition.”  
When the nurse excused herself for the time being to go back to her own duties, I was finally left alone with Kolette.

 _“Your number was the last one she was about to contact...”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why... why were you about to call me Kolette...”  
After cutting off communication, who would’ve thought she’d even change her contact info? But... I still couldn’t understand how and why my number was the last one she was about to contact. And why... why she had it even after everything that has happened.  
“D-Damn it Kolette... just open your eyes already.”  
With the machines around monitoring her heart rate and breathing, the room was only filled with silence as I just held her left hand tightly around both of mine.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...?!”  
After half an hour later, my senses almost blanked out as her eyelids started to open and my brown eyes immediately were the first ones her green ones had seen while returning my hands’ grip slowly.  
“Y-Yoongi...?”  
Kolette’s faint voice echoed as we locked eyes at each other for the first time since all these years.

I never thought that after walking out of each other’s lives would bring us to one another all over again.

And it felt like it was the start to a scene with an **_ending both of us will never like_**.

Yet, let’s go back to how the story had led us two together at the beginning up till the very end.

***  
 _Autumn of 2009:  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: When The Wind Blows (YOONA)_  
Ever since the man named Yoongi asked me if I wanted to listen to him playing the guitar, we found ourselves growing comfortable of each other’s presence. He was such an intriguing person. How his expression is so different when he’s playing his instruments in private and even in public.  
“You look really cool right now, Yoongi-ssi. Play that song you wrote called **‘Tomorrow,’** again for me. Please?”  
“You really like that song huh, miss doctor?”  
We were two people who were completely different in terms of our dream paths, but we just clicked. It was the first time too that I became friends with someone from a different department. The most unlikely kind of friendship if I should say.  
“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be practicing for that concours you’re supposed to be competing too next month?”  
“And here I thought you were only here for my guitar playing though? Don’t worry, I’m also busy practicing the piano if that’s what you want to know.”  
Yoongi and I would meet here at this same room by the library when we both needed a break from the busyness of our respective lives. Him being busy in his international piano competitions from time-to-time, while I was busy with my medical studies and nonstop flood of exams.  
“Hmm... is that so then huh? Well, judging from the amount of fangirls you have applauding you and cheering for you at the auditorium a few weeks ago, I’m sure you’re going to be amazing on stage. You’re a _genius_ after all.”  
He then looked at me with a baffled look in his cinnamon brown eyes that it made my chest a bit shaky.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“D-Did I say something wrong?”  
“Didn’t you tell me you had an exam that day when I was asked to perform at the auditorium?”  
Uh oh. I might have slipped my tongue once again. Shit. I forgot that was supposed to be my own little secret.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Ah... let’s just say that I finished my exam in a flash so I can go and watch you play the piano? I... I sound like a total weirdo right now huh?”  
Before I knew it, Yoongi just leaned back his head and gave me such a candid laugh that brought out _his gummy smile_ that got my heart feeling all flustered and my mind out of focus.  
“I don’t know if I should feel complimented or amused or both because of what you had said just now, **_doctor noona_**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
I just stared at him with wide eyes and my heartbeat going erratic. It felt like I had butterflies swirling inside my stomach.  
“D-Did you just call me...”  
“Since you were so zealous in trying to see me play, I’ll give you this then.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
He then handed over a piece of paper to me which turned out to be an invitation ticket. An invitation ticket to the concours he’s going to be competing in next month.  
“Y-Yoongi-ssi, this is...”  
“Up to you if you want to go or not, doctor noona.”  
Holding the ticket close to my chest, I don’t know if I’ll have exams or a research project to do, but one thing’s for sure, I just told him with a smile,  
“If you want me to be there, I’ll be there. For you, Yoongi-ssi.”

 _A few days later:_  
“H-He did what?!”  
“Sssh! Keep your voice down Areum-ssi!”  
Areum and I were making our way towards our next lecture for the day when she then squealed at me after telling her what happened at the library with Yoongi.  
“Oh my god. You’re starting to like him, don’t you?!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“N-No! D-Don’t be silly...! We’re just friends.”  
I quickly fired back at her. She just rolled her eyes at me saying,  
“Kolette-ssi, as your best friend, I’m going be straight with you.”  
I didn’t like where this conversation was already going.  
“O-Okay then...?”  
“Min Yoongi is **NEVER** the type of guy to approach a girl first, Kolette. It’s the other way around. Just look at him. He’s handsome. He’s a genius piano player. He’s mysterious. He’s pretty much ignored every girl who’s been chasing after him. But...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“But what...?”  
Areum then places both of her hands on my shoulders and said,  
“He’s not that like at all with you, Kolette-ssi. Like the guy even went through all the trouble just to bring you back your student ID months ago. So, it’s okay to tell yourself if you’re having feelings for him now.”  
I just looked at my best friend’s eyes and felt my chest go all uneasy.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I... I don’t know Areum-ssi... I don’t know if it’s okay to say I’m getting scared of knowing more about him because... because the two of us are just so...”  
“Different? So what if he’s in a different department than you are? So what if you two walk different walks of life in the future? If you like him, you’re free to feel that way, Kolette.”  
Recalling that one man’s gummy smile inside my own thoughts, maybe I was being too obstinate in my blurry feelings especially I... I can’t let this fleeting emotions stir me away from my main goal.  
“I... I’ll remember what you said just now then, Areum-ssi. Thank you.”  
That was the only thing I could tell her honestly as my green eyes focused on the ticket that was bulging out of my book.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Up to you if want to go or not, doctor noona.”_

Are you trying to give me some kind of **_sign_** , Min Yoongi?

**  
 _A month later:  
Seoul Arts Center  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: How can I love the heartbreak, you’re the one I love (AKMU)_  
 _Kolette: break a leg out there genius piano player-ssi, Min Yoongi! Rooting for you all the way from our university’s exam halls! You better keep your promise and get that first place okay?  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Can’t believe she had time to send me a text message right before her exams... this noona really...”  
It was finally the day of the competition. I’ve lost count how many times this one was already for the year, but why am I suddenly nervous about this one?  
 _“If you want me to be there, I’ll be there. For you, Yoongi-ssi.”_  
“And to think... I just chose the piece I’m going to play today for one woman... but she’s not going to make it I guess.”  
Putting my phone back on the table, I sighed to myself before I was being called to prepare to go on stage any minute now.

“Contestant _#13_ , Min Yoongi of Seoul National University. Playing piano with the piece, **‘Jeux d’eau’** by Maurice Ravel.”  
As the stage lights welcomed me as I walked towards the grand piano by the center stage, I could feel my heartbeat grow louder with every step I was taking. And when I finally faced to bow to the audience before I sit down and start, I had to stop myself from getting dazed at the silhouette my eyes then found by the front row.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
Catching her green eyed gaze, she just gave me a reassuring nod and that lulling smile of hers.  
 _“I’ll be there for you. For you, Yoongi-ssi.”_  
And with her voice and her words the only ones echoing around me, it felt like I was ready to take on anything now as I sat down in front of the piano and placed my fingers on the keys on cue.  
“This is for you then, Kolette-ssi.”

“Who knew the genius Min Yoongi who only did powerful pieces could even play such a soothing and mellowed piece?”  
“Yeah, it’s very rare of him to choose a romantic piece too. But it’s no doubt, his prowess for the piano is undeniable.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My eyes and my soul can only watch in pure awe at the man who was playing the piano’s keys with such graceful effort. It was such a beautiful scene to witness and hear. He was really a dazzling man when he’s playing, whether it’d be the guitar or the piano. It reminded me of how he easily drew me in the first time I heard him play the piano that morning.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“The man that you are piano player-ssi...”  
And for that, I was once again thankful that I studied my butt off the past month so I can finish my exams in a flash and I can keep my promise of being here for him today.

_A little while later...  
After the competition:_

_Yoongi: meet me at the waiting room right after the announcement of results._

“So, Min Yoongi won again?”  
“Yep, although his performance was really something else today. No wonder he won. It really felt like he’s coming out with a new kind of mellow but still powerful style lately.”  
I was making my way towards the waiting room while I keep hearing the rest of the contestants’ whispering about Yoongi’s performance. I’m not an expert in interpreting classical music but, the way Yoongi played the piano just now was really the most captivating I’ve seen of him yet.  
“Genius Min Yoongi-ssi, you’re really something else...”  
I whispered to myself with a slight chuckle as I finally knocked and entered the waiting room.

“Knock? Knock?”  
“In here, Kolette-ssi.”  
The minute I heard that one woman’s familiar voice and saw her silhouette entering the room, I could only then blink like a fool with my eyes not averting her sight. It was my first time to see Kolette dressed aside from her white lab coat with the casual clothes and she looked so magnificently in that _dark blue, tulle short dress of hers with star shaped sparkles_ flooding all over the top part of the dress and part of the dress’ skirt, paired with her _golden pump heels and white leather trench coat_. Not to mention her red brown hair was tied up in a _messy updo_ that suited her so much.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Congratulations piano player-ssi!”  
As soon as she walked up to me with such a big smile written all over her face and green eyes, I had to snap out of my daze instantly before she could notice.  
“A-Ah, thank you... Kolette-ssi.”  
“Your performance was the only thing people in the halls kept on talking about.”  
She said to me so excitedly. But there was only one thing I could ask her as we caught each other’s gazes on cue.  
“How about you then? What did you think about my performance, doctor noona?”  
Kolette just smiled behind those green eyes of hers and said to me without hesitation,  
“Beautiful is an understatement to describe what I saw on that stage, Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Right then and there, I just knew. I knew that was the _**sign**_ I had been looking for. The something I’ve been searching for, it turned out to be a someone instead. My **_muse_** herself.  
“Kolette-ssi, will you come with me for now?”

“It’s my first time to see the Seoul Arts Center’s main stage this upfront, Yoongi-ssi.”  
“I didn’t even expect you to be here, to be honest Kolette-ssi. Especially not after your last text.”  
As we roamed around the now empty concert halls, Kolette just laughed at what I said to her as she replied,  
“It won’t be a surprise if I told you I would come then. And didn’t I tell you, if you want me to be here, I’m going to be here. For you.”  
 _*thump*_  
There she goes again. There she goes saying things that got me like a cat who’s tongue-tied for words. I don’t know if there’s any hidden context with what Kolette has to say, but I know deep down... while I was in front of that piano and playing every note and melody, her being in the audience was the only one thing that mattered to me. It was a new and raw feeling I hadn’t experienced in years.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette-ssi. Will you hold out your hands to me?”  
“What?”  
As we were now standing right in the middle of the stage, Kolette just followed what I had asked her to do and held out her hands to me. I then took something from my black suit’s pocket and placed it on her hands which immediately made her green eyes shake in bewilderment.  
“Y-Yoongi-ssi... this is...?!”  
“I made sure to keep my _promise_ to you, doctor noona. And I want to give it to you. Will you keep it safe?”  
“But... isn’t this more important to you though?”  
With her eyes looking up worriedly at me, my lips just formed to a small smile as I shook my head and cupped both of my hands with hers that held on to the _gold medal_.  
“I... I stopped counting medals and trophies I’ve won for years already, Kolette-ssi. They’re just dull materials that held no meaning to me. Until...”  
“Until...?”  
“Until this one. This was the only win I felt so contented to win ever since. And... and I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Butterflies swirled around my stomach all over again. Like a scene from a romance novel or movie coming to life, never in my wildest dreams I’d get to experience something so unscientific like this. And it’s because of the young man standing in front of me.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Min Yoongi-ssi... you’re giving me too much credit, it’s making me queasy. I was just sitting in the audience too.”  
“It’s because of you just being there watching me is what made me win, Kolette-ssi. That’s why, thank you. Thank you for coming.”  
I don’t know why people in the university and even here in the halls were saying how Yoongi was a bit cold and unapproachable. But being right in front of his sight, it was the exact opposite to me. And right in that exact point in time as well, I realized to myself. I... I grew feelings for the most unlikely man named Min Yoongi himself.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“You’re welcome, Min Yoongi-ssi. I’ll take care of this medal for you then. If that’s what you want.”

As our hands were still in each other’s warm presence, I just took in a deep breath before I finally summoned up all of my courage to ask Kolette,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette-ssi, since we kept our promises for today, will you make a _pact_ with me?”  
“A pact?”  
Nodding, our eyes locked onto one another’s as I asked her on cue,  
“Will you be my _muse_ from here on forth, doctor noona?”  
“Y-Yoongi-ssi...”  
Her green eyes almost were close enough to watering as I continued on.  
“And I will be **your support crown** if you need someone to vent your tiredness and pains and frustrations to. I’m not the best person to show clear affections, but I’ll be **your homeland**. Your homeland who’ll be by your side.”  
As Kolette lets the tears from her green eyes stream down on her now flushed up cheeks, she lets out a soft groan before she gave me a hearty smile saying while holding tightly her hands with mine,  
“Before I say yes to our pact, I just want to tell you one last important thing Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“What is it then, Kolette-ssi?”  
“ **I like you**. I like you, genius piano player-ssi.”  
With those simple little words escaping her mouth, I couldn’t stop myself from what I planned to do next. Closing in the distance between us, I wiped away the signs of tears on her cheeks and placed both of my hands at the back of her neck before making our lips meet.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“You really took the words out of my mouth first, doctor noona. **I like you too** , Kolette-ssi.”  
With the piano and the huge stage being the only witnesses to our first kiss, it seems that the melodic, but dull life I was used to somehow became stained with color.

It felt like the film’s reel unpaused and started spinning once again. **Spinning up a beginning with no foreseeable ending yet**.

***  
 _Autumn of 2009:  
Seoul National University_

 _BGM: Moonlight Melody (Red Velvet)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Haaaaa...”  
“Now that’s one long sigh, Kolette... was the exam that difficult?”  
It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since that day at that empty stage. That very day I said _‘yes.’_  
“No... it’s not that of course...”  
“I knew it. You of all people wouldn’t sigh because of an exam... so... that just leaves it’s a someone you’re sighing about then?”  
Of course my best friend knew about my new relationship. Who was I to hide it from her? But even after that day, we haven’t seen each other much since I was busy juggling my hectic exam schedules while he had already started practicing for his next competition.  
“I... I miss him, Areum-ssi...”  
“Way to shove it in my single-status face, best friend of mine...”  
It was already so close to midnight when we came out of our college’s department building and stretched with relief after our hellish exam week being finally over. The two of us were about to walk back to our dorm when,  
“O-Oh my god...”  
“Hmm? What’s wrong? Why do you look l—-?!”  
Even before I was about to finish my sentence, Areum turned my head to our left where I could only blink and feel my heart race at the very silhouette that was waving towards our direction.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi-ssi...”  
I looked at Areum and she immediately told me with a wide grin and gave me a pat on my back,  
“Go. Since our hell week is finally done, you can spend more time together this time around.”  
“Thank you Areum-ssi.”  
As she also gave a friendly wave to Yoongi, Areum then exited the scene before I ran up to where he was and just wrapped my arms around him on cue.

“Good work for these weeks then, doctor noona.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Good work for these weeks too, piano player-ssi.”  
It felt like a dream to hug Yoongi again after all these busy weeks that somehow just disappeared into thin air when his comforting scent took over my senses and his calm heartbeat.  
“Want to come with me for a midnight snack?”  
Looking up at Yoongi’s face, he just asked me that so nonchalantly with a small smile written on his lips. Without even hesitating, I said returning the smile,  
“Of course. I won’t ever mind if it’s for you.”

 _A little while later,_  
“I’m sorry if I didn’t text you so much for the week...”  
We found ourselves eating near the night market which was a few walking distance from the university.  
“I know. I didn’t want to disturb you so much when you’re concentrating on your exams too. And not to mention, I should be the one saying sorry as well for not coming to see you this week even when you’re busy.”  
As my green ones found his cinnamon brown ones, the two of us just fell to a chuckle at how we were weirdly apologizing to each other right now for the silliest things.  
“No, you don’t have to say sorry for that. I would’ve ignored you if you did happen to come by this week.”  
“Well isn’t that reassuring to hear huh, doctor noona? So, how were your exams?”  
Picking up the toothpick with the _tteokbokki_ on it, I fed some of it to Yoongi even in his reluctance.  
“Jeez, you’re acting like my mother with that question of yours... just say ‘aah!’ before the food gets cold.”  
Trying his hardest not to feel embarrassed, he just massaged his forehead with his hands telling me,  
“Please... please can we not do this here? And you’re acting like my mother too by feeding me like a little boy.”  
Even with his complaining, I didn’t listen and just continued on while giggling also in between because of his cute reactions.  
“No need to be shy, Yoongi-ssi. We’re the only ones here too and of course the auntie there who’s the owner. You don’t mind, right auntie?”  
“D-Doctor noona, damn it...”  
The kind looking auntie just laughed at my question and said,  
“It’s okay you two. You two remind me of what my youth used to be like. If you need more food, don’t hesitate to tell me!”  
With a victorious smirk, I told Yoongi,  
“See? What did I tell you?”  
Shaking his head in disbelief, he could only reply,  
“Where does your confidence really come from, doctor noona...”

“Do you have your practices this weekend?”  
Kolette asked me curiously with those green eyes of hers. I know that there’s more to her question and it’s simply not just out of plain curiosity.  
“If I tell you no I don’t, what plans do you have in store for us this weekend?”  
“Hmm... since it’s our first date, do you want to go somewhere special?”  
She sounded so excited that it made me smile of course. After these weeks of barely seeing her, it just felt right to have her in front of me at present. It just felt right to be with her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I should be the one asking you that though. Do you have a place in mind? And don’t say you don’t because I know for a fact you haven’t seen so much of Seoul yet, doctor noona. Especially since you’re not from here and you’re constantly glued to your books and studies too.”  
Kolette blinked in slight awe of what I had to say. She then teased,  
“Okay, okay. You got me, Min genius who’s also a mind reader.”  
The two of us just went on with our early morning talks. I could listen to Kolette talking for a whole day and I wouldn’t get tired of her voice and how she had so much to share behind those charming green-eyed stare of hers and the lovely smile.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“Hmm? Did you say so—-...”  
She stared at me muddled of mentioning her name so informally just now... shit... was that a bad move? She’s technically a year older than I am too.  
“If you find it too early to let me ca—-,”  
“What is it then... Y-Yoongi...?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I could then feel the heat go straight to my cheeks as soon as I heard my name slip out of her lips in the most natural way possible and seeing the flustered expression all over face didn’t help too.  
“J-Jeez, stop blushing... it’s making me blush too.”  
“S-Sorry... this is going to take some getting used to... but...”  
Before we both knew it, our hands’ found each other’s and our gazes as well while I finished her sentence for her saying,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“But, we’ll get used to it in no time, right doctor noona?”  
Kolette just nodded sheepishly as we fell to a hearty laugh that echoed in the early morning during the fall.

**  
 _Hours later...  
Around early afternoon:  
Nami Island, South Korea_

 _BGM: Draw a love (Navi)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wow...”  
“So, what do you think doctor noona?”  
I couldn’t believe the picturesque place Yoongi had taken me that warm autumn day. I didn’t know what to expect after I had stepped out of that ferry, but the whole place I was seeing with my very own eyes was beyond my expectations.  
“I-It’s beautiful... no—, beautiful is too simple to call it...”  
Taking my hand, Yoongi then pointed to the wonderful orange colored trees that spelled autumn in every sense as we entered the place together.

“Glad you like it then. Did you bring your vintage looking camera?”  
I asked Kolette. She nodded excitedly, as if her green eyes were sparkling under the afternoon sky, as she then showed it to me.  
“Uh huh! I can’t wait to take pictures later!”  
Chuckling at her adorable reactions, I took her camera and told her,  
“Why wait for later? I can do it now.”  
“B-But...!”  
Even if she was a bit hesitant at first, I let her pose in between by the tall, autumn colored trees around us and clicked the shutter multiple times so she can choose the ones she wants to keep.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Y-Yoongi... um... how many shots are you going to take huh?”  
Through her camera’s lens, I couldn’t help but stare at her in awe at how one woman with the green eyes and red brown hair looked like she’d jumped off of a literal painting just by standing there underneath the swaying autumn trees in her _black sweater and simple tattered, faded blue jeans with the long, oversized camel colored coat and her brown, heeled boots_.  
“This isn’t an instant camera so I can take many shots as much as I want to, doctor noona.”  
I didn’t know that these simple autumn colors could even sway me as I’ve seen this scene for years already, but I guess there is a first time for everything. Especially when you’re with someone like Kolette herself.  
“J-Jeez! Come here...!”  
Before I knew it, she started throwing _autumn leaves_ falling from the trees at me as little payback for taking too many photos of her.

We continued walking around as I took more photos of Kolette admiring the whole scenery around us with wide eyes. Both of us then took a quick rest by a small cafe we then happened to pass by.  
“Here’s your iced americano then, **_genius-ssi._** ”  
“Thank you.”  
Sitting across from me, I then asked her,  
“So? What did you get for yourself?”  
“Hmm? Oh... it says their bestseller here for the fall is the pumpkin spice flavored coffee latte. So I got it hot. I can’t believe you’re still drinking your usual when it’s a bit cold already...”  
I just laughed at what she had to tell me as I sipped on my coffee.  
“My body has a lot of warm temperature already, doctor noona.”  
Kolette then grinned teasingly at me saying while sipping as well on her own coffee,  
“I know. I know because that’s how I feel every time I hug you, Yoongi.”  
I almost choked on my coffee at her witty retort.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette, you really like clapping back at me in the most wittiest words you can think of huh?”  
“I can’t be the only one to get flustered all the time, genius player-ssi.”  
Pinching one side of her cheeks as a reply, Kolette just giggled while caressing one side of my cheeks in return.

“Yoongi?”  
“Hmm? What’s wrong?”  
As we were in deep conversation as always, I looked at Yoongi, still contemplating whether I should ask him what’s been on my mind.  
“No, it’s nothing.”  
“Don’t _‘it’s nothing me’_ doctor noona, it’s obviously something. You can ask me anything. Isn’t that what first dates are all about?”  
Sometimes I wonder how easily he could read through me just by looking at each other.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“How perceptive of you then. Well... I’m just going to ask it anyway... Yoongi, is it okay if I ask you how did you end up at SNU? For a fact I know... I know you could’ve studied at any renowned music school abroad, especially in Europe.”  
A small smile then formed on his lips as he followed my gaze and our reflections were mirrored in each other’s eyes before he told me,  
“I’m going to be honest with you as well, doctor noona. Why SNU? I may be from a different department from you but I know too. I know that you could’ve studied at the big universities in your home country but you chose to be here instead. You think I wouldn’t be curious of that as well?”  
I could only blink in surprise of his reply. To think the things we were curious about each other were aligned to the same page. How is that even possible? Sometimes, even the most illogical things seem logical when I’m with this man.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You have the pure curiosity of a cat really, genius Min Yoongi-ssi...”

Carrying our coffees as we resumed our walking, Kolette then took a deep breath before she opened up to me by saying,  
“My parents met here in Seoul when they were a bit older than us right now, Yoongi.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
My eyes couldn’t help but turn wide at what I heard with my own two ears.  
“Weird right? I’m not even half-Korean. But yeah... they met each other here during their respective times. My mother was a travel journalist doing a cover story on South Korea while my father was on vacation from being a chef back in Europe. They met at a traditional dessert shop here in Seoul. And...”  
“The rest was history then?”  
Kolette nodded and said,  
“Yes. It felt like a story you would read in books. **_The universe really has a way of letting two people meet. And... it really has a way of letting two people separate too._** ”  
Her green eyes then turned gloomy at her last sentence.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Doctor noona, I wouldn’t mean to pry, but your sad eyes are trying to tell me something else.”  
“You really are one perceptive man, genius-ssi.”  
Catching me stare directly at her, Kolette faced me on cue and placed her warm hand on my cheek telling me,  
“I never told anyone the real reason why I came to Korea to study.”  
“Kolette...”  
“My father passed away when I was a little girl, Yoongi. I was with him when he had collapsed and I couldn’t do a thing but just cry out loud. We were in a park too that day, waiting for my mother to come.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Small tears then glistened around the corner of Kolette’s eyes. And they weren’t the happy kind of tears. It instantly crushed me on the inside as I continued to listen to her word-by-word.  
“If you’re wondering why I wanted to become a doctor, you now know the reason. I promised my father before he had passed away to grow up into a person who’d be able to help anyone in need. And that’s why... I came here. I came here to the very country they both had met. And to keep due of my promise.”  
As Kolette’s smile took over as a signal to tell me that was the end of her story, I used my small handkerchief to wipe away her dry tears.  
“It... It feels good to finally share that with someone.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you for telling me then, doctor noona.”  
Holding my hand tightly with hers, she then asked,  
“Yoongi... can I hug you?”  
It only took one nod from me before Kolette wrapped me up for an embrace. Her heartbeat was in a trance that I had to pat her back and the back of her head to calm her down.  
“Do you mind if we hug in a public place like this...?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“No. I don’t mind.”  
As she peeked at my face while hugging me, she then tiptoed to give me a quick peck on the lips which completely caught me off guard.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“Thank you for your warmth, genius Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
The autumn breeze and trees just continued to watch us hug each other in their presence. I tend to treat memories as a trying thing, but this moment, right here, right now... it was worth remembering for the rest of my life.

The day Kolette opened her heart to me for the first time of many times.

***  
 _Winter of 2009:  
Daegu, South Korea_

 _BGM: Polaris (DREAMCATCHER)_  
A season passed by in a flash like from a camera or film reel.

Life went on. Time ticked on. My relationship with Yoongi also carried on even in the busyness of our respective lives. We supported each other just like we had promised from the beginning. I went to every competition of his while he was there for me supporting me quietly when I was stressing over my exams and countless reports and bringing me coffee and food he’d cooked himself.

Since I couldn’t come back to Europe for the holidays, Yoongi offered to spend it together. I of course said yes, however I didn’t expect at all that he’d take me somewhere for the holidays. And that somewhere was no other than his very hometown itself. And... I met his family for the first time.  
“You and your family are one of a kind, Yoongi...”  
“How so? We’re just your usual, ordinary Korean family, doctor noona.”  
We both found ourselves by the playground near his old elementary school. Yoongi and I were sitting on the swings as I then glanced at him and let out a small chuckle telling him,  
“No. I could tell you and your older brother are very close even though I don’t have siblings of my own, Yoongi.”  
Before I even realized it, he then stood up from the swing’s seat and gently pushed me instead from my back.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“E-Eep?! G-Give me a _warning sign_ next time, genius-ssi!”  
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. It felt like I was brought back to my childhood here. And yeah, you’re right. My hyung and I are very close. Since...”  
“Yoongi...?”  
Sensing the sudden shift in Yoongi’s voice that was now hesitating, I then glanced back at him which made him force out a smile saying,  
“Since he’s the only one who had supported me when it came to music while my parents were against it, especially my father. But now... after all the competitions I’ve won, they both don’t say much about it anymore. People always say that I got my coldness from my father while my hyung was always the kind and sensible one just like my mother.”  
Ever since that autumn day he took me to _Nami Island_ , Yoongi too has been opening up his heart to me. We were still getting to know one another as each day passes, as each season passes. I had grown to love the little things he does. How _**he walks with his hands in his pocket**_ when he’s anxious about something, how he interrupts me in the most nonchalant way with the little random knowledge he wants to share, and how he’s strangely a very caring person underneath the whole mysterious, cold persona he paints for himself.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yoongi... can I be honest with you?”  
And with that alone, he stopped pushing me on the swing on cue and as our eyes caught each other’s, he answered,  
“Of course. Always.”  
“I will respect whatever relationship you have with your parents because they gave birth to you and you exist which is something I’m grateful for... that’s why... no matter how weird your relationship is with them... show them you care for them, okay? _**Life... life doesn’t go the way we always want it be**_. One day... they’re by your side, alive... and then...”  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“P-Papa...! P-Please wake up...!”  
“S-Sssh... everything’s going to be okay, Kolette... d-don’t cry okay?”_  
Holding on tightly to the swings’ rails while also trying my hardest not to shake at the sullen flashbacks I was then getting, Yoongi’s voice then brought me back to reality as I felt his always warm hands on my cheeks and his cinnamon brown eyes gazing at me so seriously as he knelt in front of me by the swing.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Doctor noona... you turned pale on me just now. Did you remember your father then?”  
I had no reason to deny what I was feeling right at that moment. I had no reason not to be honest at the man who was staring right at me and engulfed me in his always reassuring warmth.  
“Y-Yeah... I did.”

When Kolette’s green eyes trembled a little at her answer, I knew. I knew it was insensitive as shit of me to complain about my relationship with my parents to the woman who had lost a parent and became the reason why she grew up so strong, yet vulnerable at the same time.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m sorry for being insensitive and letting my mouth run off just now.”  
“Apology accepted, genius-ssi. Thank you for taking me to meet your family. I won’t forget it. I hope you won’t forget too that you can be anyone you want to, not even your parents has a say to that. _**You’re your own person, Min Yoongi-ssi.**_ ”  
As her face finally relaxed and her lips turned to a relieved smile, I moved my face closer to hers and left a kiss on her forehead before I wrapped my arms around her.  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m never going to leave you alone, Kolette. You’re not only my _muse_. But also my _family_ now too, doctor noona. **_My homeland_**.”  
I couldn’t look at what was Kolette’s reaction at that second, but I knew. I knew the moment my back was going wet and she tightened her embrace around me while sniffling, I knew it was her tears doing the talking as she could only tell me,  
“A-And _**you’re**_ _**my crown**_ , genius Min Yoongi-ssi. My homeland in a place far away from home...”

As the first snow then fell from the sky, it felt like no matter how cold the winter could be, Kolette’s warmth and smile were my saving grace apart from music.

And to me, that was a whole new feeling to experience. Yet, the film’s reel was only halfway from the story. _Our story_.

***  
 _Spring of 2010:  
The Garden of Morning Calm  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: Spring Flower (Chuu of LOONA)_  
A new year.  
Winter passed by in a flash as well and it was replaced by the season of cherry blossoms and new beginnings. New beginnings for both Yoongi and I in all ways.

“W-Wow... the cherry blossoms are really blooming here... it’s breathtaking...”  
“I’m not fond of flower viewing, but you’re right. They’re beautiful.”  
The two of us spent the last weekend together before a new semester starts real soon. And... this was the only time I can finally tell him very exciting, but nerve wrecking news I’ve been wanting to tell him for a while now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi?”  
“K-Kolette?”  
Who would’ve thought our voices would then overlap each other’s as we took a pause from our walking along the flowery path? His brown eyes reflected clearly on my green ones.  
“You first.”  
“Are you sure?”  
As he nodded, I took both of his hands and held them tightly with mine before taking in a few deep breaths and confessing to him,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-My two years residency at the university’s hospital finally starts this semester and I’ll be eligible for graduation...!”  
“You’re getting closer to becoming a real doctor then, doctor noona?”  
It was my turn to nod this time. Letting go of my hands from his, Yoongi proceeded to caress both sides of my cheeks while flashing his usual little warm-hearted smile.  
“Maybe I should call you _doc_ for real this time around, doc Kolette?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Oh please... I’m not used to you being so cheeky with me, piano player-ssi. Now, tell me the news you want to share.”

And Kolette tells me I’m the perceptive one. I just let out a small chuckle as I told her,  
“Ah, it’s nothing much really. Let’s just continue walking, shall we?”  
“Hey! I’m not leaving from this spot until you tell me what’s up...!”  
Her curiosity really knows no bounds. One of the many reasons why I admire and love this one woman altogether.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette, I’m no longer a piano major under the college of music.”  
“W-What?!”  
She looked at me in shock and was about to open her mouth again, mostly she was about to give me a very long talk _(I just know it)_ I then covered her lips with mine for a quick kiss that made her frozen and alarmed which brought me more than enough seconds to finish what I really meant to say next.  
“Before you go on a rant, let me finish. I may not be a piano major anymore, but I’m now a _composition major_ under the college of music.”  
“Y-Yoongi... y-you...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m my own person from this point on, Kolette. And I’m going to find what kind of person I could be together with both the piano and guitar. And with you.”  
Kolette’s scent and soothing warmth then took over me as she started shaking while hugging me.  
“I-I’m... I’m so happy for you, piano—I mean... genius-ssi. W-What’s your new found dream then, Min Yoongi-ssi?”  
With our eyes locked, hands locked right on perfect cue, I shared to Kolette my new dream.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I want to be a _music producer_ from here on. Whether it be on the piano or guitar, I’m going to write and make my own music.”  
“I heard you loud and clear, future music producer-nim. Even this little one heard you as well.”  
Taking something from her coat’s pocket, my eyes could only grow wide like a damn fool at what Kolette was then holding in her right hand.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“D-Doctor noona... that’s...”  
“A special lucky charm of mine.”  
It was no other than the medal I had given to her that day I asked her to be my muse and to be hers. My body then moved on its own as I placed both of my hands at the back of her head and pressed my lips on hers without hesitation.  
“Y-Yoongi... m-mmm...”  
“W-What are you doing to me really, Kolette...”

It was the first time Yoongi had kissed me so firmly. He wasn’t the type to be aggressive when it came to affection, but right now... it was another side of him blooming forth just like the flowers around us. It was electrifying.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaa... Y-Yoongi...”  
As he finally lets me breathe and pulls away, he just leans his forehead on mine before he pulls out something from his pants’ pocket while not averting his gaze away from me once.  
“Doctor noona, close your eyes for me.”  
“Fine...”  
Doing what he says, all I could hear then was him opening something and feel an unfamiliar presence wrap around my neckline.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“C-Can I open my eyes now? I don’t know if I should be scared nervous or excited nervous right now...”  
“Silly woman. Yes, you can now open your eyes.”  
As I opened my eyes and let my hands touch my neck, my chest could only beat in pure acceleration at what I could then feel while Yoongi just observed me with an amused smile on his lips.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... this is...”  
“Happy birthday, Kolette. Thank you for being born, doctor noona.”  
Taking off the necklace, I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a gasp at the two letters that was engraved on the small, round silver pendant.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-MY? **_MY_** as in your initials, Min Yoongi...?”  
Still staring at him in wonderment, Yoongi gently took the necklace from me and wrapped it around my neck once again saying,  
“Up to you on what meaning you want it to be, Kolette. Whether it’s **me as Min Yoongi** , or as **MY homeland** , or even as **MY crown**.”  
“Min Yoongi-ssi... you really...”  
Swept up in the flow of the moment, I had completely forgotten about my birthday today. But... right at this very point in time, I was reminded again to be thankful of my life. I was alive and it was because of that, I got to meet this man standing right in front of me.  
“As if I’d forget your own birthday, Kolette. Would it be too cliche if I told you, _**I love you**_ as well?”  
Upon hearing those three words escape his mouth, I placed my hands on his ever fluffy cheeks and kissed him this time around. And under the fluttering and dancing cherry blossom trees, I replied to him those simple, illogical words I never thought I’d ever say in this life,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... **_I love you too my homeland, my crown, MY Min Yoongi_**. Thank you for remembering.”

Not even a film slot from my camera was enough to describe this one moment.  
The one moment filled with a lot of new beginnings.

***  
 _Summer of 2010:  
Paris, France_

 _BGM: My World (Weki Meki)_  
It was _**July 9th**_ again.

It was summer again.  
The summer a year after that consequential meeting.

And here I was _**running off the plane**_ the moment I saw that familiar figure waving to me with that big, goofy gummy smile of his from a distance.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...!”  
“O-Oof... careful. Did you miss me that much?”  
 _ **The beat of his heart**_. _**It jumps through his shirt**_. His arms around me were the only thing I could feel as his soothing scent lingered around me.  
“Three weeks without seeing you...! O-Of course I’d miss you, you dork!”  
“Happy to hear that the feeling’s mutual then.”  
Without a single doubt, he then pulled me closer and gave me a long kiss on the lips which was a very rare greeting coming from him.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“G-Genius-ssi...”  
Flashing me another gummy smile, he then tells me while playfully pinching my chin and looking deeply into my green eyes,  
“Welcome back to _Europe_ , doc Kolette.”

It was that day again. That _**July 9th**_. If you’re wondering how and why I was in the _City of Love_ right now, it traced back to almost a month ago.

 _A month ago._  
“W-What?”  
It was way past midnight by the rooftop garden at the hospital where Kolette was doing her residency. Her schedule was so packed for most of the days that it was me who did the visiting mostly since I don’t have to worry about back-to-back piano competitions anymore. Although, the news I then had told Kolette made her purely shocked.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m going to _Germany_ in a few days. There’s this songwriting seminar that was offered for me to attend and I knew couldn’t let this chance pass up. I’m sorry for only springing this up on you now especially when you’re busy at the hospital.”  
I then didn’t expect for Kolette to plant a soft kiss on my cheek as she moved closer to my side and hugged me saying,  
“No. Why would you even apologize? I’m so happy for you Yoongi! You’re getting closer to your new dream and who am I to stop you from reaching it? Go. I’d slap you like a fool if you didn’t.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
Returning her embrace, I also planted a small and quick kiss at the back of her left ear which instantly made her flinch and slap me on my back.  
“H-Hey... kissing me on the ear is an unfair attack there, genius-ssi.”  
“Just let me be, doctor noona. So, how was your day today?”  
She just giggled at how I diverted the conversation so quickly as we then opened our canned coffees and ate the sandwiches I made for her while looking up at the night sky with the stars staring right back us.  
“I tended to a lot of patients at the emergency room today. I observed an actual surgery by a real neurosurgeon inside the operating room. It sure is a new whirlwind of experiences here at the hospital everyday.”  
I don’t know when it started. I don’t know when it started that I had asked Kolette how her day was everyday since our relationship started or even before. Yet, it felt like the most natural thing to talk about with her. That’s how I was comfortable of anything now with her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I just know you’re going to be a one-of-a-kind doctor as well soon, doctor noona. I have no doubt about it.”  
“Thank you. Always. My genius-ssi.”  
The early morning grew on as our deep conversations went on with Kolette’s head leaning on my left shoulder and our hands were wrapped in each other’s.

We still communicated even after I took off for my flight to Germany. I arrived in _Paris_ around a week ago by train. Europe was really something else, just by a train ride, you can get to a whole new country with a whole new language and culture. And I couldn’t even believe it at first when an unexpected text a few days ago came saying,  
 _Kolette: See you on **July 9th** , Yoongi._  
Now here we were. Standing in front of one another at the _City of Love_ at the very day where things had started a year ago.  
“So, how long did the hospital give you time to be away? To think you’d sacrifice your duty at the hospital to come all the way here.”  
We were on a cab, heading back to the place where I was staying at here in Paris. Kolette just chuckled and said,  
“Oh don’t you worry about that, genius-ssi. I’ll be here for mostly two weeks I guess? I want to enjoy this summer with you as much as possible before I go back to my busy reality.”  
“I know. I know too that you might have already planned our whole itinerary inside that smart head of yours.”  
Catching her green-eyed gaze, she gave me a nod and grin.  
“As the French would say, _oui_. I already did.”

*  
 _Cafe de Flore  
Paris, France_

After settling my things at where Yoongi was staying, we then went around Paris looking for a place to relax at and eat altogether.  
“Let’s go at that cafe, Yoongi!”  
“I could use some good coffee. Sure, let’s go.”  
Taking my hand, we then walked inside the cozy and vintage looking cafe. The interior was really reminiscent of those cafes you’d see in old films and movies.  
“You’ll have your usual then, genius-ssi?”  
“Of course. You already know that, silly. I’ll go find us a table right by the window, okay?”  
“Thank you.”  
He just left a quick kiss on my forehead before he went off to find us a table as I took care of ordering for the both of us.

“Here’s your usual iced americano, monsieur Yoongi.”  
“Okay, okay. Drop that whole _‘monsieur’_ thing, doctor noona. It doesn’t suit me one bit.”  
Since it was a bit late in the morning of _**July 9th**_ already, Yoongi and I were having a quick brunch together before we move on with our day.  
“Fine. It does sound a bit weird to say since I’m not French too. Should I call you Sir Yoongi then?”  
“ _Sir Yoongi_ , really Kolette?”  
The two of us just fell to hearty laughs before I then asked him,  
“When did you arrive at Paris?”  
“Almost a week ago? It’s amazing how I can travel from one country to another here by train or even by boat. One day I was at Germany and next thing I knew it, I’m here in Paris.”  
“Well, that’s the beauty of Europe, genius-ssi.”  
I felt jittery the minute he just looks at me so seriously with those cinnamon brown of his, as if he was trying to tell me something very important.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... if you want to say something, you can. Your gaze is really doing things to me even when you’re not saying anything at all.”  
“I’m using my eyes properly, doctor noona. Wait.”  
“?!”  
And then I could only freeze when he out of the blue grabs his phone and snaps a photo of me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You did not just snap a stolen photo of me?”  
“Looks like I have my new wallpaper covered. See?”  
As he showed me the changed wallpaper on his phone, I also did the same thing he did just now and snapped a stolen of him.  
“Two can play at this game, genius-ssi. Should I put cat ears and whiskers on your photo...?”  
“Hey.”  
Playing around and teasing each other, those were the kinds of memories that no matter how little, just meant so much more. Especially for me.

“So, since we’ll be here for the rest of the two weeks, what plans do you have in store for us, doctor noona?”  
I asked Kolette. She had a very suspicious grin written all over that cunning face of hers.  
“Hmm... we’ll spend the rest of the day here at Paris of course. Then we can go to _Italy_ tomorrow by train or _Spain_ in a few days after. Do you want to go to _Iceland_ or _Sweden_ too? Oh right... we can’t forget about visiting my mother at _England_.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Did I just hear her last sentence right?  
“K-Kolette, did... did you just say...?”  
With a big smile, she places both of her warm hands on my cheeks and says,  
“Will you come with me to visit my mother tomorrow, Min Yoongi?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I was a bit taken aback by her sudden suggestion, but knowing Kolette, she wouldn’t kid about these kind of things. As much as I was nervous as hell about meeting the woman that raised her, I couldn’t just say no.  
“For you. Yes, I will Kolette. Let’s go see your mother tomorrow.”  
Feeling relieved of my answer, she then stood up from her seat just to lean across from me and press a kiss on my lips with a small giggle while holding the familiar silver pendant wrapped around her neck.  
“Thank you, **_my homeland_**.”

_A little while later,  
Palais Garnier Opera House  
Paris, France_

_BGM: My name (BEN)_  
“W-Wow...”  
“Beautiful right?”  
Early in the afternoon, I showed Yoongi the biggest opera house here in Paris. Even though we had no plan to watch an opera show or ballet show, I just wanted to show him the beautiful interior that looked like an old vintage palace. We took tons of photos and sneaked a peek at the main stage.  
“I could imagine you playing the piano or guitar on that very big stage, Yoongi.”  
“Somehow the _Seoul Arts Center_ seem so small from this view huh? Imagine too if I had confessed to you at a place like this.”  
Finding each other’s gazes on perfect timing, I didn’t hesitate to tell him,  
“I would’ve said yes to you even if you had confessed to me at a dumpster, genius-ssi.”  
“Really? You would?”  
Pinching his soft cheek, I said,  
“On second thought, no. I can’t picture it.”  
“Always the smart mouth aren’t we, doctor noona.”  
While we were about to exit the opera house, we were surprised to find a grand piano by the far corner where we were standing.  
“Oh? Who would’ve thought there would be a grand piano here?”  
“Want to go take a look at it?”  
I knew he’d be interested and intrigued. I nodded on cue.  
“Of course. Lead the way.”  
When we got to the piano, I then asked the attendant who was watching over it,  
“Is the piano on display only? Or is it playable?”  
“K-Kolette... what are you doing?”  
Ignoring what Yoongi had to whisper to me, the attendant then told me,  
“Ah, it’s playable of course mademoiselle. But the person who was hired to play it called in sick today.”  
An instant idea then popped inside my head that it made Yoongi instantly gulp as I caught his gaze.  
“Don’t give me those devious eyes of yours, doctor noona.”  
“Please? There’s no harm in playing it? Didn’t you want to know more about that piano? It looked old and vintage too?”  
“As if they’re going to let a complete stranger play it. Ah shit... no, don’t...”  
Facing the attendant, I then proposed a simple suggestion with a cordial smile.

Note to self. Never slip and give ideas to Kolette because she’s way too smart and she easily catches on the littlest of things. I don’t know how she managed to convince the attendant to let me play, but she did it anyway.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Okay. But just one song, understand doctor noona?”  
Pressing a soft kiss on my lips, she nodded excitedly before she pushed me gently towards the piano.  
“I know, I know. Now, go...! Knock these French people out with your piano playing, my genius-ssi.”  
As I then sat down on the piano, a lot of bystanders already gathered around to watch me play but my eyes could only focus solely on those pair of green eyes with the most supportive grin on those lips of hers.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Guess I’ll have to play that song then.”

Yoongi’s piano playing then echoed throughout the whole venue. Already taking photos and videos of him, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Nor the bystanders who could only watch him play in awe.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-This song...”  
My heart felt like it was about to leap out of my chest at the song’s familiarity. It was no other than the very first song I heard him play in secrecy. That very _**July 9th**_ of last year.  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
Too busy dwelling in my own thoughts, I was snapped back to reality when I then heard resounding claps and cheers echoing around me. And that was my cue to understand that he’d finished playing already.  
“W-Wow...! I-Incroyable...! Your boyfriend is incredible, mademoiselle!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I... I know. He’s really amazing indeed...”  
Before I knew it, his cinnamon brown eyes met up with mine as he stood up from the piano and bowed to the bystanders. He then walked up to me asked with an enthusiastic smile,  
“How did you like my special **_July 9th_** performance, Kolette?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Breathtaking as usual, Yoongi. Just like that very day. No... even better.”  
Not even minding the amount of people looking at us, he wrapped his arms around my waist as I reached out to touch his face and kissed him straight on his lips again.

We could only blush in embarrassment at the echoing ‘ _aww’s_ ’ and cheers from the bystanders after our little scene.  
“L-Looks like this memory is another one for the books...”  
“Y-Yeah, tell me about it...”  
In this **_July 9th_** , I saw another side of the man named Min Yoongi at the very city of love itself.

*  
 _Tuileries Garden  
Paris, France_

“Yoongi... over here...!”  
Kolette’s green eyes glimmered under the summer afternoon sun and her red brown hair being blown lightly by the breeze as she held on to _her straw boater hat_ , afraid it might fly away from her. Even her _mini, white romper dress_ was dancing in the wind paired with those _white stiletto heels of hers_. I had to catch my breath a couple of times now.  
“Stand there. I’ll take a photo of you.”  
“J-Jeez! Are you here as my boyfriend or as my photographer?”  
Running up to me, she grabbed me by the hand as I just told her chuckling,  
“A little bit of both I guess?”  
“Dork.”  
We were roaming around the beautiful grand garden here in Paris, it was near the world famous museum, _the Louvre_. I wasn’t that fond of museums so Kolette decided we should just walk around the garden together. The summer air was crisp as we walked hand-in-hand. There were just countless trees and flowers everywhere we look. And right in the middle of the whole garden was a big fountain where people can sit in the foldable chairs around it.  
“There’s even an amusement park here?”  
“Uh huh. Want to go on the _Ferris wheel_ with me?”  
“As if you’re going to let me refuse when you’re already dragging me there.”  
Kolette just laughed innocently at my response as she led me towards where the huge white Ferris wheel was.  
“No. You cannot absolutely refuse, genius-ssi.”

“T-This view is spectacular! We can practically see _Paris_ in a bird’s eyes view.”  
“Why am I getting this weird feeling this is your first time riding a Ferris wheel, doctor noona?”  
I blinked at Yoongi’s odd question as I stared at him before I laughed as my answer.  
“D-Did I say something funny...?”  
“A-Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry... it’s just your question was really pure for some reason? And to answer that, no this isn’t my first time on a Ferris wheel. Although...”  
“Although?”  
I then moved to sit right beside Yoongi and patted his left cheek saying,  
“This is my first time to ride the Ferris wheel with a guy aside from my father.”  
“Is that so?”  
It was obvious that Yoongi was trying to hide a smile to himself victoriously after what he had heard.

 _BGM: To Me (Davichi)_  
“Yoongi...?”  
As Kolette mentioned my name with a bit of seriousness taking over her voice, I knew that something deep was dwelling inside her mind again.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I’ve been wondering for a while now... why did you play that song back there at the opera house?”  
Oh. She was curious about that then.  
“Of course since it’s _**July 9th**_ today, I played it just like that day. Though the big difference of last year and today was you weren’t hiding now while watching me unlike then.”  
Kolette’s cheeks then turned rosy in shyness as she groaned telling me,  
“U-Ugh... don’t remind me. I felt like a total stalker watching you back then, but obviously... I wouldn’t trade that day for anything else.”  
As our fingers were tightly intertwined with one another, the Ferris wheel was still a bit far from over as we were now at the topmost part.  
“Is it true?”  
“Is what true?”  
Kolette stopped leaning her head on my shoulder and peeked at my face next.  
“I heard the children before us talking about some kind of _jinx_ with this Ferris wheel.”  
“Oh... that jinx then huh...”  
Of course Kolette knew. What else does this woman doesn’t know?  
“Care to enlighten me, doctor noona?”  
With an amused giggle, she just said,  
“I bet you already know the jinx of having to kiss someone when you stand together under a mistletoe right?”  
“Okay...?”  
“Well, when it comes to a Ferris wheel, if a couple reaches the topmost part of the wheel, they have to kiss or else their relationship is going to have streak of bad luck in the future.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Do these tall tales really exist? That was the first time I heard something so gullible and in Kolette’s terms, so illogical.  
“Ah... I see...”  
“I always knew about that little jinx since I was a kid myself. But of course... it seems illogical. Wouldn’t you think?”  
Bingo. I knew she would say that. However, the next words that then came out of my mouth not only surprised me, but also Kolette herself.  
“Would you like to test it out then, doctor noona?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
What? Did? I? Just? Say?  
“Y-Yoongi... d-did you really just...?”  
Feeling the heat go straight to my cheeks, I just forced out an awkward laugh saying,  
“N-No... f-forget what I said just n—?!”  
Yet, when I was on my last syllable, my whole body froze and my mind blanked out the second my lips met up with Kolette’s once again as she initiated the kiss this time.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“Let’s... let’s test it out then, Yoongi.”  
As her green eyes turned dazed in my reflection, fuck holding back anymore. I then pressed our lips together on repeat. Even the small space inside the Ferris wheel didn’t stop me from carrying Kolette by her hips and letting her sit on top of me as her legs then wrapped around my waist while I pulled her closer to me and never removing our lips away from each other’s.

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“A-Aaah...”  
As Yoongi and I went on with our long and thrilling kiss inside the small compartment space of the Ferris wheel, his hands then cupped mine that was holding him on his cheeks while trying to steady me altogether.  
“S-Shit Kolette...”  
“Y-Yoongi... m-mmm...”  
Removing his hands from mine, he then started caressing me on my thighs while lifting a bit of my dress that it made me let out a small moan.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaa... w-wait...”  
“S-Sssh... no I won’t wait doctor noona...”  
When our tongues gained access to one another, my breathing turned so hoarse and my heart’s beating erupted as my hands found themselves gripping tightly onto Yoongi’s ever soft black hair. I almost shrieked when he then came to trace kisses on my neckline next.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... n-not... not there...”  
“L-Looks like I found your sweet spot then...”  
“A-Aaah~”  
I just sighed dreamily and felt like all of my nerves melt at how his lips were warming me up so much. Not to mention, his tongue teasing me didn’t help too at all.  
“I-I can’t forget about this little one too...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hmmmm...”  
My body jumped when he out of the blue kisses the necklace’s pendant before his lips went lower towards my chest.  
“B-Baby... you’re sweating so much here...”  
“S-Shit... w-whose fault do you think it is then?!”  
He just laughed at my flustered reaction and calmed me down with a delicate kiss again on my lips.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
“Don’t give me those tantalizing eyes... as much as I want to continue on, we’re near the very bottom of the ride.”  
Smiling, I couldn’t help but hug him even in our current position. Just a second ago, we were intensely glued to each other especially our lips, and now, we’re chuckling and laughing because we almost did something _risky_ inside a darn Ferris wheel.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I admire your self-control, genius-ssi...”  
Caressing my chin, he just gave me a _Cheshire Cat_ grin and confessed,  
“No. I have no self-control, doctor noona. Especially when it comes to what happened just now. But we can continue later, right?”  
“You sneaky cat...!”

After we stepped off the ride, the Ferris wheel guy looked at us funnily maybe because Yoongi and I were still a bit red from our make-out session just now. Taking my hand in a hurry, the two of us just escaped like restless teenagers.  
“He was onto us, why do you have to be so obvious doctor noona?”  
“Me?! You’re the one who’s still red as a tomato right now...!”  
Even in our humorous bickering, we both couldn’t deny the fact that this was another memory worth remembering no matter what, when and where.

*  
 _Around sunset:  
Pont Alexandre III bridge  
Paris, France_

 _BGM: Just Us (Weki Meki)_  
“This _**July 9th**_ passed by in a flash...”  
“Yeah, it did.”  
After leaving the _Tuileries Garden_ , we headed to the _Bastille Market_ to window shop and just pass the time. And now we were watching the sunset by one of the most extraordinary looking bridges I’ve ever seen. One of my arms wrapped around Kolette’s waist as she just leaned on me.  
“Yoongi, you know... there was a bridge here in Paris that used to hang locks just like the famous _Namsan Tower in Seoul_... but now it’s been stopped by the local authorities here for environmental reasons.”  
“I see. I might have stumbled upon news like that on the internet as well. But, let’s just say I prefer bridges like these.”  
She looked at me curiously with one of her eyebrows arched up.  
“Oh? Really? Why so?”  
“Because there aren’t that much tourists around here and we can enjoy the scenery, just the both of us.”  
“Your introvert self is showing itself again, genius-ssi.”  
Kolette remarked with a small laugh as she then wrapped her arms around my waist from my side.  
“Thanks for showing me such an exquisite sunset in Paris today, doctor noona. And for making this _**July 9th**_ not a distant memory.”  
“I should be the one saying thank you for being both my boyfriend and my photographer today too, Yoongi.”  
We stood there still, watching the sunset colored sky stained right above us. Kolette and I of course took one last round of photos before we went on our way to grab dinner.

 _A little bit later..._  
“Is steak and wine okay with you?”  
“More than okay.”  
I watched Yoongi order for us two. There was something so striking about him when he was busy choosing the wine he was going to order.  
“What’s got you staring at me with a weird grin huh?”  
“You just look so sexy while picking out the wine, I couldn’t help myself.”  
“Well, wait until you get a taste of the wine. I’ll be more sexier in your eyes.”  
He just scoffed out an amused laugh at my remark as we continued having more deep conversations before our food and wine then arrived.  
“You’re right.”  
“About what?”  
As I took a small sip of the wine from my glass, I smiled at him and said.  
“The wine. It’s absolutely amazing. You and your taste really, genius-ssi. My mother loves these kinds of wine too. Nothing too strong yet has a deep flavor that sticks to the tongue.”  
“Your mother loves wine then?”  
The wine wasn’t the only one warming my heart up at that moment. Yoongi being curious about my family just means something special to me for some reason.  
“Yes. She does. She’s always picky about what kind of wine she and my father used to drink together. She’s also a sucker for anyone who plays the piano or any instrument.”  
“K-Kolette...”  
“Guess it’s obvious where I got that part of me from too.”  
Even in between us eating, my heart almost leaped the minute Yoongi reached out to caress my hand from across the table.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yoongi...”  
“I’m going to be honest with you doctor noona, but I’m a bit nervous of meeting your mother.”  
I never saw Yoongi getting this nervous even when he’s preparing for a competition or his concours, it just meant he was treating meeting my only family with utmost importance. My whole soul had to stop itself from melting.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’d be lying if I tell you my mother isn’t the stronger persona between her and my father, but...”  
“But what?”  
Holding on to both of Yoongi’s hands, I only told him as honestly as I could,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“She’s going to love you, genius-ssi. Trust me on this one. As much as I was honored to meet your family, it wouldn’t be complete if you didn’t meet mine as well.”  
As he returned my hands’ grip and held them even more tightly and snug with his, he just said,  
“What wine should I bring for your mother then?”  
And with that one question, it sinks in as I gaze at his cinnamon brown eyes. My heart was now _undoubtedly, unquestionably, completely in love_ with a man named Min Yoongi.

“Am I heavy...?”  
“Not really. Just hold on to me tightly.”  
I was carrying Kolette around my back since we were both a bit tipsy from all the wine we drank. Kolette was the cute, babbling type when she was drunk. Another new side I discovered now.  
“Hmm... if you say so... I’m sorry if I’m heavy though? But...”  
“What is it?”  
Since I had a better alcohol tolerance, I decided to carry Kolette back to the hostel we were staying at. I’m glad the place was right in the middle of the city. She then mumbled to me with a soft chuckle while snuggling tightly her face on my neck,  
“You don’t have the _broadest back_ my genius-ssi... but you’re the _warmest pillow_ I could ever ask for...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit... how can you make me blush even when you’re drunk huh my doctor noona...? You’re unbelievable...”  
Every single day since I had met Kolette gave me different feelings and colors I didn’t think could happen to someone like me who only knew music as my one and only, but now... music meant so much to me because she opened up my eyes to my new dream.  
“I... _I love you_... my Min Yoongi...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Pausing by a streetlight along the sidewalk at a late night in Paris, my lips turned to a sincere smile glancing at the fairest smile on the face of the woman I love.  
“And _I love you too_ , Kolette. **My crown**.”

_Les Piaules  
Around midnight:_

_BGM: Color Me (Weki Meki)_  
“There we go.”  
“Hmm...?”  
I was about to tuck in Kolette on the bed as I was just taking off her heels when her eyelids were starting to flutter open while wriggling on the bed.  
“Go back to sleep, doctor noona. I’m just removing your heels so you can sleep properly.”  
“Y-Yoongi...?”  
Calling out my name, I placed her heels on the floor before I moved closer to her side and gently pushed away a bit of her hair that was covering her green eyes.  
“Sleep. You’re mumbling like a silly fool.”  
Kolette shook her head innocently and said to me with an impish grin,  
“Genius-ssi... lend me your ear... I want to tell you something very... very important...”  
Wanting to humor her for a bit since I could use this to tease her later when she’s sober, I followed what she asked me to do. However, the second I bring my right ear closer for her to whisper something, my body and nerves flinched when she out of the blue kissed my ear with a giggle.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“Hmmm~ your ears are turning red... I’ll fix that...”  
Before I knew it, as our faces were only centimeters apart, Kolette didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around my neck and bring her lips to meet mine.  
“Hmmm~ your lips are so soft...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“F-Fuck Kolette...”  
Seeing her be so assertive, I just knew. I knew I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. I didn’t know what holding back meant when it came to one woman herself. So, I returned her kiss and this time, I would lead her.  
“M-Mmm... g-genius-ssi...”  
“Come here, doctor noona.”  
Taking off my shoes, I climbed on the bed and instantly switched our positions and as Kolette was sitting on top of me, she grabs tightly of my hair as I steadily held her at the back of her neck with our kissing going deeper just like at what happened by the Ferris wheel. But this time, nothing was going to stop us.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I need you to open your mouth wider for me, baby...”  
“O-Okay...”  
As our tongues danced together in harmony, Kolette let out dreamy moans as I started caressing her chest and moving below to her thighs and even her bottom.  
“A-Ahhh... Y-Yoongi...”  
“You’re sweating so quickly, doc.”  
She then bit my lips playfully and looked at me with such an alluring look in her green eyes before pecking me on my lips again saying,  
“W-Will you **examine me** then my genius-ssi?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Let me take care of you then.”

Taking off her romper dress, I could only gape at how tempting Kolette looked when she was only in her silk underwear while wearing that silver pendant around her neck with her long red brown hair complementing everything about her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re beautiful.”  
That was the only thing I could manage to say as our lips crashed on each other’s over and over again. Kolette’s soft moans were the _melodies_ I never knew I needed as I caressed her body lines and sweaty, rosy skin.  
“H-Haaaa... Y-Yoongi... t-touch me more...”  
“As you wish.”  
She leaned her head back with a groan when I took off her bra in an instant and started sucking on her nipples while my other free hand was fondling around inside her underwear.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit baby... y-you’re so wet here...”  
“M-Mmmm... g-genius-ssi... I... I need you...”  
Kolette then aggressively switches our position as I was now on the top as I stared down at her tantalizing green gaze.  
“Then... undress me too baby.”  
“Don’t mind if I do then...”  
She then takes off my black shirt and belt before she moved to kiss me hard on the lips again.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Someone’s being so forward right now...”  
“Do you... do you hate it?”  
Kolette looked at me a bit worriedly, I just kissed her neckline which made her squeal saying,  
“No. It’s the opposite actually baby... so continue on.”  
With a victorious grin, she went on to undressing me out of my black pants and my black socks as our lips were constantly drawn to one another like a _lovesick_ melody and I was only left in my own underwear. We were now bare and free.  
“A-Ahhh... Y-Yoongi...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“B-Baby... I’ll start **my examination** with you, doc.”  
Kolette just nodded as I then grabbed my belt and _tied it_ around her wrist.  
“Hmm... are you examining me... or teasing me?”  
“Both baby.”  
I just pecked her lips for a moment before I started examining her whole body through my lips and tongue from top to bottom.

“F-Fuck... n-no... Y-Yoongi... w-wait...”  
Kolette smelled so exquisite especially in her most tender and precious spot of her body. Her whole body reacted even in the tiniest kiss there.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Looks like this place is clear.”  
“M-Mmm... a-aah...! S-Shit...!”  
She screamed in ecstasy and her whole body squirmed when my tongue and lips reached inside of her, which was the climax of my teasing before we continued.  
“Hmm... you’re all clear, my doctor noona.”  
“I-Is that so huh...?”  
Kissing her sweating cheeks, I just grinned at her and said,  
“But of course... we’re just getting started baby.”  
The two of us then took off each other’s underwear on cue before I wrapped the white bedsheets around us.  
“There’s no going back from here, Kolette.”  
Kolette just moved her head closer to me and pressed another soft kiss on my lips saying with her ever reassuring smile,  
“Make me **yours** , Yoongi.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Seeing the resolute glimmer reflected in the green eyes I love, there wasn’t a single doubt left within me as I took off the belt around her wrist and we proceeded.  
“A-Aaaah...!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“F-Fuck...!”  
The whole room was then filled with our yelps as soon as I entered Kolette. It felt like the two of us could see all kinds of colors bursting around the room as we made deep love to one another.  
“H-Haaa... h-haaaa... Y-Yoongi... m-move please...”  
“I’ll go faster then baby.”  
Kolette’s moaning and pleasurable cries echoed my hearing and my heart felt like on _cloud nine_. I continued my slightly faster pace inside of her with every thrust.  
“M-Mmm... a-aaah... Y-Yoongi... **_I love you_**...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“D-Damn... h-hmmm... K-Kolette... _**I love you too**_...”  
We whispered words of love to each other in between our kissing and our bodies melting and thrusting altogether. We were just so lost in one another’s presence that our hands intertwined together while holding on tight to the bedsheets.

“G-Genius-ssi, I’m...”  
As we were nearing our _climax_ , Kolette gazed at me with such a magnetic stare coming from her eyes that I just couldn’t help myself by kissing her again saying,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You can cum now baby... go for it.”  
“A-Aaaah... h-aaaa... Y-Yoongi...!”  
“F-Fuck... K-Kolette...!”  
With me coming as well and finishing up our intense lovemaking, I almost collapsed on Kolette’s still heavily beating and sweating chest as I then felt her warm fingers playing around with my messed up hair.  
“Ha... ha... haaaaa...”  
“Ha... haaaa... n-now that was one _passionate_ examination...”  
I couldn’t stop myself from kissing the silver pendant on her neck next before I slowly rolled off from on top of Kolette and laid beside her. I watched her smiling with her eyes barely trying to keep open from the exhaustion of what we did.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sleep now baby.”  
“I... I will. So don’t leave my side okay...?”  
Caressing her sweating cheeks, I just nodded and told her before my exhaustion seeped in too.  
“I... I won’t. I won’t ever leave even if you want me to, doctor noona.”  
And before we knew it, the two of us fell asleep with Kolette’s bare body snuggled so close to mine. And that’s when I knew. I’m never going to leave this woman who brought back the bright colors back to my once dull life.

_A few hours later:  
BGM: Morning (Rainbow note)_

Waking up to see Yoongi’s peaceful face the second I wake up after a long, memorable night/early morning spent with him, I could still feel myself flush at the recall of the pantings and blissful screams _my entire body and soul_ experienced because of one man.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“The things you do to me, genius-ssi...”  
I whispered to him while leaving a small kiss on his lips before I slid off the bed and headed for the bathroom to wash up the soreness of my body from what we did.

After my bath, I glanced at the _Eiffel Tower_ which was visible from our room and was sitting by the bed, drying and brushing my hair when all of a sudden,  
“Ohh... someone’s wide awake already...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My nerves then shivered the minute I felt his warm lips land on my neck and he pulled me back closer to his side as he sat up on the bed.  
“H-Hey... my neck is off limits for now, I just took a bath you know.”  
“No wonder you smell so nice. It makes me want to have a second round.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Glancing back at his still half asleep expression, I just squished his ever fluffy cheeks and told him,  
“Hmph! When did you become so cheeky huh? We still have a train to catch today, you dork.”  
“I know. But let’s just stay this for a while. Okay?”  
I just couldn’t find it in me to say no when he gives me such a _pure kitty look_ all over his cinnamon brown eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Your **lil meow meow eyes** are really a weakness on my heartstrings, Yoongi. Okay, fine...”  
Yoongi and I just cuddled more on the bed for a few more minutes before he then reached out to pick up the brush on the nightstand and said to me,  
“Here. I’ll help you.”  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
And before I knew it, we sat up on the bed together as he starts brushing my hair from behind me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I should make a mental note of this moment, right here, right now.  
“You like this then I take?”  
I nodded with a big, obvious smile on my face.  
“Of course. Nothing compares to the little sweet gestures you do for me, genius-ssi. **You brushing my hair now, you bringing me food that you make yourself, you listening to me talk and babble most of the time, you kissing me in interruption when I’m trying to point out something**... the list goes on and on.”  
“I’m only like this with you though. Isn’t that weird?”  
“H-Hey...! What is that supposed to mean?!”  
Our room was then filled with hearty morning laughs and bickering. Oh how I wish things could always be like this. With him. With Yoongi alone.  
“ _Pabo_. It means I don’t mind being like this with you. I want to be with you always, Kolette. O-Okay... that sounded way better inside my head.”  
I giggled at his random humor and flustered reaction before leaning my head closer to his and gently pecked him on the lips.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“The feeling is mutual, _my_ Min Yoongi... that sounds cliche too but better say it now than regret it later.”  
As he kissed me a little bit longer this time while wrapping his arms around my waist and mine were wrapped around his neck, Yoongi then whispered to me with a suave grin as our foreheads leaned on each other’s,  
“Let’s start the morning right, don’t you think so doctor noona?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Lead the way then, my sneaky genius-ssi.”  
Taking my hand tenderly, he leads us both to the bathroom and locked the door before we started our morning in the right way just like he had said.

*  
 _Around noon time:  
Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, England, United Kingdom  
Summer of 2010_

 _BGM: Always in my heart (JOY, Lim Seul Ong)_  
The things and places I only saw on the internet and in postcards, I never thought I could see it with my own two eyes, until now. I may have traveled places when I was in piano competitions and concours, but I never took the time to appreciate the locations I’ve been to, until now. With the one woman beside me.  
“Welcome to my first home, Yoongi.”  
“Breathtaking is not enough to describe this place, Kolette.”  
We were walking on the peaceful streets of Kolette’s scenic hometown. Heading only to one particular destination, where someone important to her was waiting for us.

“How did my _smart-ass_ of a daughter even find someone like you, Mr. Min?”  
“M-Mother...!”  
Kolette and I arrived at her home around past noon where we were then greeted with warm arms from a woman with _dark, burgundy hair_ and had her _identical pair of green eyes_. Kolette’s energetic and confident side, she really got from her mother indeed. After a few pleasantries, the three of us had lunch and a while later we found ourselves having afternoon tea by their backyard garden.  
“Please Kolette’s mother, call me Yoongi.”  
“Alright then Yoongi. You can call me _mother-in-law_ then.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Now that was something I didn’t expect to hear on the first meeting with the mother of the woman I love.  
“M-Mother... j-just zip your mouth... p-please.”  
“Oh don’t be so dramatic, Kolette. Right...! Yoongi, you should see how cute and adorable Kolette once was during her childhood days! I’ll be right back.”  
“J-Jeez mother!!!”  
I could tell clearly that Kolette and her mother are close from their reactions towards each other even behind all the squabbles. It was refreshing to witness. The amount of strength she has to be away from her family just to make her dreams a reality is just so admirable.  
“I-I’m so sorry for my mother, genius-ssi. She’s just so overly excited over the fact you’re the first guy I brought home. Ever.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“No. I now understand what you meant to tell me back when you had met my family. About treasuring people close to you now because you don’t know what the future holds.”  
“Yoongi...”  
“Thank you, **my crown**.”  
Stroking my cheek, Kolette just gave me a genial kiss on my left cheek as she said,  
“You’re welcome, **my homeland**.”  
Both my brown eyes and her green ones just stared at each other in silence before a familiar voice then came back to the scene with a shrewd grin and said,  
“Did I disturb something? I can come back...”  
And yes, Kolette got her sly self from her mother as well. There’s no use in denying it.  
“J-Jeez...! D-Drop it mother...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“N-No worries madam... we were just talking.”  
The carefree afternoon carried on as Kolette told her mother all the important things that had happened to her both in university and of course about our relationship. Even if traveling from one city to another was tiring, getting to see Kolette smile so candidly was worth it all. _She was worth it all_. That summer was just worth it all.

 _Late in the afternoon of the same day:_  
“So this is where your father was then.”  
“Yeah... he’s our last stop for the day. It’s been a long while too, right father?”  
The one last important stopover we had for today was no other than where Kolette’s father was. She then puts down the bouquet of _purple hydrangea flowers_ and kneels in front of her father’s grave saying,  
“F-Father, I brought someone. He’s Min Yoongi. Someone very important to me. We came by to say hello.”  
Following her suit, I then lit up the scented candle we also brought along with the flowers.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Hello there sir. I’m Min Yoongi. Your daughter’s boyfriend. It’s an honor to finally meet you.”  
“D-Dad, I have so many things to tell you but now that I’m here, I don’t know why... I don’t know why but my words just get lost.”  
Not being able to hold back her tears, I just let Kolette’s head lean on my left shoulder as we held each other’s hands.  
“Sir... this may be our first meeting, but I just want to say to you that your daughter, Kolette, she’s going to be an outstanding doctor soon. She’s already a wonderful and hardworking woman, that’s why watch her happily from wherever you are now as she reaches far to make her dreams come true.”  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“And I’ll see to it that I’ll stay by her side no matter what, through the rough days and the joyous ones. Since... since she’s **my doctor noona and my crown**.”  
Our gazes then caught each other’s in perfect cue as Kolette said while letting her tears stream down her cheeks,  
“D-Dad... you told me before that when I grow up, I’ll someday find what you and mother had, that _once in a lifetime connection_ with someone. And... I did. I found it with Yoongi. That’s why... continue to watch us up from the heavens. Okay?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette...”  
The two of us just hugged as I let Kolette cry in my embrace. Underneath the energetic and confident woman was a little girl who just misses her father. For some reason, I could also feel a bit of dry tears on the corners of my eyes.

“Yoongi, you know... when father passed away, it took a big toll on mother... losing the love of your life so suddenly... that’s why I know... I know when my mother is being all spirited and zealous, it’s just her way of dealing with the grief all these years.”  
“All of us deal with grief differently, Kolette. But you should know too, you really get your strength from your mother...”  
Sitting on the green grass, Kolette and I just watched the afternoon sky turn to a sunset color. Out of the blue, she then took off the silver necklace around her neck and held it tightly in her hands saying while finding my brown eyes on cue,  
“I don’t think I would’ve handled coming here alone, so thank you for being with me today, Yoongi.”  
Cupping her hands that held on to the necklace, I just told Kolette,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you for showing me the place you were born at and letting me meet the people that mean the most to you, doctor noona.”  
Leaning closer to her face, we shared another heartfelt kiss with the summer breeze passing by as I placed my hand on her chin and hers held both sides of my cheeks.  
“Let’s not forget this summer no matter what, Yoongi.”  
“I will never forget this summer in this lifetime, Kolette.”

As we made another instant _pact_ under the July sky and summer season, the story between Kolette and I felt like it reached the ending, a happy kind of ending.

But for the film reel, the ending was still far from our reach. _And not all endings can end up happily_.

We would be taught of that the cruel way.  
Real soon.

***  
 _Autumn of 2010:  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: Lullaby (DREAMCATCHER)_  
That summer passed by like a snap of a finger. And we were back to the busyness of our lives. Especially me.

My schedule was already planned way ahead for me the entire week. Wake up, prepare myself, go to the hospital, straight back-to-back shifts, go back to the dorm, and sleep. Yoongi and I still see each other, but most of the time, we’d only get two hours the most to spend time together.

It took a lot of getting used to. I knew what I was in for when I had decided to enter med school. I knew what I was in for when I said I’d become a doctor no matter what it takes. But... who would’ve thought the _biggest variable_ that arrived in my life would be Yoongi himself, my homeland himself. He was understanding in every way, supportive in every way even when I was frantic and stressed, he was there for me. Even in the littlest ways.  
 _Yoongi: saw Areum-ssi and asked her to hand over the kimbap and kimchi stew I made for you since she said you were still at the emergency room when I came by, and your usual canned coffee as well. Hang in there, my crown. Don’t stress out too much, okay? Let’s talk more soon._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... I... I really don’t deserve you...”  
Sometimes, my guilt started to eat me up at the back of my head. He was doing so much to keep our relationship intact in-spite of me telling him that we’re both going to invest in this relationship side-by-side. _Together_. Him and I. No more, no less. It slowly felt like the relationship was becoming more of a seesaw, where Yoongi was pulling more of the weight than I did.

To think... the one thing I couldn’t have fathomed to even do when I said “ _ **yes**_ ” to this relationship, really happened. And it had to happen a year exactly after that fateful day I said that three-lettered word.

 _Yoongi: what time is your shift from the hospital over? I’ll pick you up._  
After pressing send message on my phone, I was putting on my coat and looking myself at the mirror while glancing at the bouquet of _pink carnation flowers_ and a pair of new white shoes that I brought online for Kolette to use when she’s working hard at her residency duties. It’s been exactly a year since we got together. It’s weird. The old me wouldn’t even bother remember silly things like these, but now... every single day since Kolette said “ ** _yes_** ” life has been more interesting and striking for me. That’s why... I want to show her how much this year had meant to me even if it meant I was going to show her my cheeky side, just for today.  
 _*beep*_  
I then grabbed my phone the second I received a reply.  
 _Kolette: Around two hours. I’m going to be at the operating room, we have to take care of a sudden emergency operation on one of the patients. Wait for me at our usual special place by the hospital’s garden. I miss you... Yoongi.  
*thump* *thump*_  
Her last sentence made me smile like an idiot that I could only type back and send,  
 _Yoongi: and I miss you too. I’ll wait for your hug until then. See you doctor noona._  
Putting away my phone, I then headed for the door after grabbing the bouquet and white paper bag. I wonder if Kolette remembers today though? Who am I kidding... she’s literally too smart for her own good.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I hope Kolette’s not going to freak out when I surprise her...”  
However, I was too ignorant to even think I would be the one who’d do the surprising right after those two hours were over.

_Around more than two hours later...  
SNU Hospital:_

_Yoongi: Kolette? I’m just here waiting for you at the garden._  
Checking my watch, it’s been half an hour since the time Kolette had mentioned she’d be off from her duty already. Why am I slightly getting a bad feeling right now? Did something happen?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit... what’s this grim feeling I’m having?”  
I was about to run and head for the elevator when right on cue, the silhouette I’d been worried about the most came out of the elevator doors. Yet, she had the most broken-hearted expression I’ve ever seen for the very first time.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
The moment her green eyes found my gaze, her tears instantly dripped down from her face as her voice cracked saying only,  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
“?!”  
When Kolette then broke down on her knees, I quickly dropped the bouquet and paper bag in my hands and ran to catch her in my arms just in time.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... w-what’s wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?”  
“N-No... n-no... i-it’s just...”  
I’ve never seen her breakdown like this. She was sobbing so hard and trembling in my arms like a little girl. I couldn’t find the right words to say at that second. I just held her tightly around my arms and listened to her harsh weeping and sniffles. It felt like my heart was being smashed on repeat with every tear that came out of those green eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Shhhh... I’m here... I’m here. Cry all you want. Don’t hold anything back.”  
“H-He... h-he didn’t make it... I... I... c-couldn’t tell the little girl...”  
In between her sobs and hiccups, Kolette started to say something that I have yet to understand the full story of.  
“You couldn’t tell the little girl what, doctor noona...?”  
Looking into my brown eyes, Kolette then flashed me the most somber smile I’ve witnessed through all the times we’ve been together saying,  
“I... I couldn’t tell... I couldn’t tell the little girl her father passed away...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“H-Her father... her father died in the operating room... w-we couldn’t save him... i-it hurts... it really, really hurts Yoongi...”  
It all made sense now. It all made sense why she was reacting like this. She... _Kolette saw herself in that little girl_. Everything that happened within those two hours brought back years of grief that she’s been carrying to the best of her ability. But the woman in my arms was only human... no matter how strong she was, **_the cracks of losing someone important can never be easily erased_**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... don’t blame yourself please... it’s not your fault, understand?”  
Yet, my words couldn’t reach her as she just told me screaming in agony,  
“N-No...! W-We... we should’ve done more... we... we could’ve saved him...!”  
As she covered her face with both of her hands while letting more of her tears come forth, no words from me were enough to comfort her at the moment. I could only hold her and stroke the back of her hair to ease even a little bit of the pain she was feeling. My eyes almost felt like watering too the second Kolette whispered,  
“I... I’m never going to become a doctor who gives up easily... never... I... promise.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
I don’t know if she was trying to tell me that or if those words were for herself... but I would never have thought the real meaning behind Kolette’s words that autumn night would impact the weight of our relationship in the near future.  
“I... I need to be alone. P-Please...”

And that was how the one night that was supposed to be promising and filled with merry reminiscing of the memorable year that had passed by us ended up being a very pained one instead.

And yes, that was only the _**bitter**_ beginning.

***  
 _Winter of 2010:  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: Maze’ (Kim Na Young)_  
Ever since what happened in the autumn after our _first anniversary_ , things have been slowly changing between Kolette and I. And it wasn’t the pleasant kind of change. We barely spend time together anymore. Even when I came to the hospital to see her, she’d always tell me,  
“No. You can go back first. I’m busy.”  
No matter what little thing or gesture I did to show her how I’d missed her, it didn’t have any effect. It felt like the flame that made us warm up to each other was extinguished in the coldness of this winter. She buried herself more in her studies instead of us spending time together.

The colors around us started fading from the bright and vivid ones to the _monochromatic and pale ones_. I was lost. Lost if I was the one who did something wrong or if it was her. Or if it was us both.  
“Yoongi-ssi, Professor Im told me to give this to you in case you were interested.”  
And then, one day, I was given a sign. I don’t know if it was a good or bad sign, but holding on to the pamphlet in my hands, maybe... this was for the best.

Maybe it was best for Kolette and I to maintain our space from each other for now. If she needed space, who am I to stop myself from doing so? Right?

And that’s where the film’s reel started turning for the _worse_.

_A few days later:  
The department of music’s practice rooms_

_*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
I was walking in frustration towards one room alone. To find that one person. How could he? I thought we were supposed to tell each other everything. Just by remembering what happened at the hospital a while ago still got me seething in fury.  
“Hey... did you hear? Apparently Min Yoongi the music genius is supposedly scheduled to leave Korea in a few days.”  
“Oh? Why? Isn’t he like a composition major now instead of a piano major?”  
“Yeah. But it seems he was offered to study at _Germany_ because there’s a famous music professor who’s interested in him and wanted him to be his student.”  
Areum and I were about to head out to have some coffee at the cafeteria when I paused on cue upon hearing some of our fellow classmates mentioning Yoongi’s name.  
“Kolette... don’t. They’re just rumors. I know he would’ve told you if he was to go somewhere even though you two barely talk to each other anymore. Are you sure of where things are headed for the two of you?”  
“I’m... I’m just busy. He knows that.”  
“Kolette-ssi... you’re pushing him away for no reason since last fall. Do you even know how he might have felt all these months? If you’re concerned about him, tell him. Tell it straight to his face instead of hearing it from other people.”  
I just looked at Areum in silence before I excused myself from her for the time being.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I... I’ll take that into consideration. I’ll see you later then, Areum-ssi.”  
And here I was. Right after my duty at the hospital, I headed straight back to the university to find that one man. And there could only be one place he’d be at aside from the library which is close now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“He was offered to study at Germany...”_  
“Y-Yoongi...”

Opening the practice room upon hearing the sound of piano playing inside, I knew. I knew there could only be one person capable of making my heart tremble with those notes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And for a long while, my green eyes then caught his cinnamon brown ones as he immediately stopped playing the moment I entered the room.  
“H-Hi.”  
The only words he could manage to reply to me next was,  
“H-Hi too.”  
The room’s atmosphere turned cold and awkward as if this was the first time we had met each other. Last winter, we were _inseparable_ but now... I don’t know what to say anymore. Yet, I knew I had to ask him. In order to ease my inner fears, I had to ask him for myself.  
“Yoongi, I need to ask you something...”  
“Funny how you came all the way here from the hospital just to ask me something huh?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My chest squeezed in slight pain at his words as he avoided to look at me straight in the eyes while I slowly walked myself towards him and the piano.  
“Y-Yoongi... is it true?”  
“Is what true, doctor noona?”  
“L-Look at me please...!”  
“...”  
As my voice then unknowingly grew loud, Yoongi then looked at me _coldly_. Even more cold than the winter air could ever do. And I might be the reason why the warmth I had grown to love has vanished faster than the seasons that passed by us.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Is... is it true? You’re leaving for Germany in a few days?”  
Looking deeply into my green eyes as if he was staring right into my soul, he just said to me so simply,  
“Yes. It’s true.”  
He then handed over a pamphlet to me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-This is...”  
“I’ll be in Germany for the rest of the winter and spring next year, the four months song writing program doesn’t sound so bad. It’ll be a nice change of scenery too. Don’t worry, you can have lots of time to focus now on your studies without me interrupting you.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
His last sentences were a sharp blow to my chest that tears could only fall down my cheeks on cue.  
“That’s why, Kolette—-,”  
“W-Why didn’t you tell me? W-Were you really planning to leave without even telling me?”  
“Kolette...”  
Crushing the pamphlet, I then threw it at him and yelled without holding back,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why?! Why didn’t you tell me?!”  
And for the first time, Yoongi also raised his voice at me while banging the keys on the piano saying with the most pained look in his brown eyes,  
“B-Because you would have never cared Kolette! Damn it! Don’t you see?! Y-You’re only here now because you only knew now after word got out... y-you never even returned my calls and my texts of wanting to meet... d-do you even realize how you made me feel lately?”  
Right at that exact second, Areum’s words then echoed inside my inner thoughts.  
 _“Do you even know how he might have felt all these months?”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... I... I just needed time for myself... you know how hectic and exhausting it has been for me these past months...”  
Yoongi could only force out a couple of fake laughs while running his fingers through his hair in frustration before he said,  
“A-And I’m giving you the space that you need for now, doctor noona... isn’t that what you wanted?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why... why would you even say something like that?”  
It was pretty obvious now that we were angry at each other. Trying to stop his tears, he just closed his eyes for a few seconds before he then placed a white paper bag in front of me saying,  
“Here. I don’t want to forget anything before I leave in a few days.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What is that supposed to mean?”  
Grabbing his things and closing the cover on the piano’s keys, Yoongi and I just gazed at one another for one last time before he headed for the door telling me,  
“I know it’s a season late but, **_happy anniversary_** doctor noona.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...!”  
When he was about to open the door, I ran up to him and hugged him just in time from behind.  
“K-Kolette...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... I’m... I’m so sorry... I... I didn’t know...”  
Sobbing on his back, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking when he then takes off my arms wrapped around his waist and faced me while wiping the tears splattered all over my face with his strong, warm hands.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“P-Please Yoongi...”  
“I’m sorry too, Kolette. But let’s do this for both of our sakes. Good luck at your residency. Okay?”  
We both gave each other one last hug and kiss on the lips before I watched Yoongi walk away and disappear gradually from my sight.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
While looking up at the snow that was falling from the winter sky, I broke down on my knees as the rest of my tears mixed along with the snowdrops late into the night.

And that’s when I knew. That’s when I knew that **_loving someone could actually hurt you this much_**.  
Especially when you knew, you led things to end like this.

But... that’s wasn’t yet the real ending to this story.

***  
 _Spring of 2011:  
Hamburg, Germany_

 _BGM: Spring (Davichi)_  
 **“It was a good start  
The ups and downs, themselves  
Before I knew it, we grew tired  
With meaningless emotional drains...”**  
I was writing nonstop lyrics while strumming my guitar and admiring the blooming cherry blossoms from the window of my dorm room.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“It’s spring again huh...”  
 _“The cherry blossoms are really pretty here, aren’t they Yoongi?”_  
I can’t believe it’s been a year already since that spring we were walking together at that beautiful garden in Seoul. I can’t believe too it’s been months since I came to Germany alone. And... it’s been months since I saw those pair of green eyes I keep seeing even in my sleep.  
 _Kolette: How are you? I hope it’s not too late to tell you happy new year, genius-ssi. I hope too you’re working hard there at Germany. The cherry blossoms there are beautiful as well during the spring... but nothing beats the cherry blossoms here in Seoul. Take care always, Yoongi._  
That was the last text message she had sent to me a week ago. It was indeed a new year. A new season. But things were still on thin ice between Kolette and I. We communicated of course, but why did it feel like it wasn’t the same way like in the past anymore?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Up and down... like a **_seesaw_** huh...”  
 ** _Seesaw_**. That was the one word which described the way our relationship was. When I pulled more of the weight, I was stuck at the bottom. And it was the exact opposite for Kolette. Sometimes, I don’t know what lies within my real feelings anymore.  
“Kolette...”  
 _“I’ll be here for you. For you, Yoongi.”  
“I... I want to be alone.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Haaaa... shit... even in Germany, her voice and green eyes are the only ones I can’t free from my own thoughts like I’m imprisoned...”  
While I was busy grumbling to myself, I was surprised the minute my phone started ringing. Looking at the caller ID, I blinked at the unexpected caller as I then answered it.  
 _*beep*_  
“Hello?”  
“I hope it’s not too early there at Germany when I’m calling you?”  
Hearing the familiar voice from the other line made me sigh in relief as I put down my guitar and said,  
“No, it’s not too early _hyung_. The time difference from here and Seoul is only eight hours. It’s around midnight there I suppose?”  
“Yeah, it is. So, how’s everything there?”  
My older brother called me often as his simple way of checking up on me since I got here. He knew everything, including what happened between Kolette and I.  
“Everything’s fine here hyung. The cherry blossoms here in Germany are heavily blooming now. It somehow feels like I haven’t left Seoul too. Everyday has been a raw and new adventure in another country.”  
“I see. So there are cherry blossoms in Germany too then huh?”  
Our passing conversations went on as I told him the things I’ve been learning here musically and that they’re even willing to extend my stay here until the summer. And then, my brother’s next question made me baffled.  
“Are you sure about that, Yoongi-yah?”  
“What do you mean hyung?”  
“Are you sure you want to stay there because you really want to? And it’s not because you just want a reason to be far away from Kolette-ssi?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hyung...”  
It looks like I can’t even lie that properly to my older brother since he knew me far too well.  
“Yoongi-yah, I’m not one to poke my nose into your relationship with Kolette-ssi, but you and her can’t keep running away from each other. If you two want to fix the situation, then do it now before things are too late. **_Relationships aren’t only about two people, but it’s about timing too_**. Are you sure you want to end everything just like this? And let go of the one woman that you cherish very much?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My hyung’s words started creeping inside my head like a repetitive lullaby.  
“H-Hyung... to be honest... I don’t know if I still feel the same way I did before...”  
“Then do you hate her?”  
 _Hate_. That’s such a strong word.  
“No, I don’t hate her. I could never hate Kolette, hyung.”  
“Then, do you love her?”  
 _Love_. What is the real meaning of love anyway?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I... I don’t know.”  
“Your hesitation says it all, Yoongi-yah. Stop saving face and be more honest with each other. I’ve seen the way you act and look at Kolette-ssi, Yoongi-yah. Don’t let this drag on or else, you’re going to lose her for real. And... that’s **something you can’t ever take back**.”  
For some odd reason, Kolette’s words from our first date lingered inside my head right on cue.  
 _ **“The universe has a funny way of making two people meet... and also separating two people in the end.”**_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... I understand hyung.”  
And after all these months of going back and forth with where my feelings for Kolette were heading, my brother opened up my eyes to the underlying truth I kept denying like a fucking idiot because my pride wouldn’t let me.  
 _“Thank you always, my homeland. My Min Yoongi-ssi.”_  
No matter how much hurt had occurred in the span of these months and these seasons, one thing was still for sure. I was still in love with the hardworking woman with the red brown hair and green eyes. _I still love Kolette_.

And _losing her_ was the last thing I had wanted anymore.

_Meanwhile,  
Spring of 2011:  
Seoul, South Korea_

“...”  
“Still no reply from Yoongi-ssi then?”  
It was past midnight while Areum and I were looking up at the sky on our break. She then passed me the canned coffee and a club sandwich as I shook my head in response.  
“No... not yet.”  
“Kolette really...”  
Ever since Yoongi left for Germany during the winter, I tried my hardest to keep up communication between us even if we were giving each other space. We’d text and call once in a while. But lately... why did it feel like he was doing the same thing I did to him before?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I guess I do deserve this... they do say **karma is as fast as lightning when it strikes back**. So this is how Yoongi must’ve felt when I was pushing him away from me unknowingly... i-it does hurt just like you said, Areum-ssi.”  
“Kolette-ssi...”  
Wiping the small teardrops that then came out of my eyes, I just forced a smile and chuckle telling her,  
“I-It hurts but life goes on. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he decides to study there for good, never come back and end things between us.”  
“Stop saying negative things like that, Kolette. Of course he’s going to come back _pabo_. Trust in him more. Don’t you still love him?”  
 _Don’t you still love him_ huh? My chest quivered at her question. Even after all the pain that I caused him, there was only one answer to my best friend’s question.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I still love him. I... I really do still love Yoongi even though it hurts. **I love him even though he may no longer feel the same way about me.”**  
As each day passes without seeing Yoongi’s face and feeling his warmth, it left me numb. And fearful, the very word that never in my wildest dreams I’d feel again after losing my father.  
“Then, that’s all that matters Kolette. Only time will tell now what happens between you and Yoongi-ssi. No matter how much two people love each other, if timing isn’t on their side, even the strongest love such as yours and Yoongi’s has **_no certain ending_**.”  
I just hugged Areum as she listened to me crying. How would I really feel if Yoongi does decide to let me go? Just the simple thought of that destroyed me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I... I don’t want to lose him Areum-ssi...”  
I prayed so much for a sign to go on. A **_sign_** if my feelings weren’t all for naught. A **_sign_** if Yoongi and I were worth holding on to each other even though we were still stuck in the _**seesaw**_ of our relationship.  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
And there it was. The sign I’ve been desperately praying for.  
“K-Kolette... c-check your phone...”  
The moment I looked at the person calling from my phone, my heart’s beating soared seeing the name flashing on the screen.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-Should I even answer it? What if...”  
“Ah damn it! Stop with the what if’s already...! Where’s the confident and tough Kolette I know and love? How are you going to know if you don’t answer it?!”  
Getting my shit together, my best friend was right. Enough of the negativity already. Quickly picking up my phone, I then pressed the answer call function before it was too late.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hello?”  
“K-Kolette?”  
And just by hearing his deep, but soft voice from the other line, all of my uneasiness somehow faded into the late night.

Yet, that call was never meant to mend things between Yoongi and I. _Just like how the universe lets two people meet and ends up separating them, time and time again_.

**  
 _Around April of 2011:  
Hamburg, Germany_

 _BGM: Love Me Once Again (BEN)_  
 _Kolette: I’ll wait for you after 12 hours from the time I send this text at that garden where you gave me that necklace back then, Yoongi. Let me be the one to give you something this time. Belated happy birthday._  
I was at the airport, waiting for my flight back to Seoul to be announced. It’s been about a month since that call with Kolette. It’s been about a month since I had decided to come home. To where she was. To where **my homeland and crown** was.  
“Yoongi? Are you sure about your decision?”  
“Ja Lehrer. Yes. I’m sure. There’s... there’s someone important waiting for me to come back.”  
As much as I had loved Germany and the scenery here for the past months, it didn’t feel like what home used to feel like. It didn’t feel right to stay here when I left unsettled things back at Seoul because I had to run away instead of facing head on everything that happened between Kolette and I.  
“Looks like the universe is trying to make things right huh doctor noona?”  
However, I was a _fool_ for even thinking so naively like that.

 _A few hours later:_  
“I wonder what’s taking so long?”  
“Yeah, shouldn’t we have boarded the flight too already?”  
It’s been around an hour since our designated boarding hour had passed and the passengers who were about to head back to Korea started to get worried. And I was too as I glanced uneasily at my watch. And then,  
“Attention to all passengers bound for Seoul, South Korea...”  
One single announcement changed the course of the story in a flash.  
“We are deeply sorry but the aircraft that was supposed to arrive and take you all to your destination had suffered a major technical damage back at the origin source. Your flight schedules will either be delayed or rescheduled, and in worst case scenario, be cancelled. Once again, we are humbly apologizing for this inconvenience.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-It can’t be...”  
All the supposed to-be passengers then huddled against and started yelling madly at the airlines’ staffs and employees right on cue. While I could only stare blankly at the airport’s glass windows and watch the planes take off, feigning a smile in-spite of my real feelings right at that very point. A feeling of my heart crumbling at the thought of having to tell Kolette the bad news.  
 _“I’ll wait for you there, Yoongi.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“F-Fuck... w-why now... h-how am I supposed to tell Kolette this...”

_Around the same time:  
Seoul, South Korea_

“I wonder if he’s boarding the plane now...”  
“Good thing our duty ends around the time he’s about to arrive then?”  
As we were getting ready to start another busy day at the hospital, I just nodded happily at Areum before putting on my white coat and wrapped the stethoscope around my neck.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. I can’t wait to see him after all these months and give him this.”  
Opening the black box I was keeping in my bag, Areum gasped in awe at the little gift I’ll be giving to Yoongi.  
“Oh wow...! Is that a customized music box?! What song does it play?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes it is. I found the shop’s address online and went there about three weeks ago and finally got it yesterday. The song... let’s just say it’s the **first** ever song Yoongi had played that made me realize my feelings for him.”  
“That sounds so romantic Kolette-ssi... I really hope that things work out better between you two.”  
Holding on tightly to the small music box, I had to stop myself from tearing up because I need to be energized for the day especially I’m going to see and meet the person I miss the most very soon.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I hope for that too, no matter what Areum-ssi.”

 _Meanwhile back at Germany:_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
“Your flight’s going to be delayed for about 3-4 hours, sir. That’s the best we can do for you especially with what just happened.”  
After asking a refund for my ticket, I then asked my flight schedule to be changed. Whether if I have to switch airlines or whatever, I needed to go back to Seoul within today. _No matter what_.  
“O-Okay. Thank you.”  
“Boarding will be announced half an hour before the actual time of departure.”  
With my new rescheduled flight, I could only wait restlessly from this point on. And pray. Pray that nothing else will happen.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I... I shouldn’t text Kolette for now. I’ll send her a message once I’ve boarded the plane later.”

The rest of the 3-4 hours then felt like an _entire lifetime of waiting_.

 _Back at Seoul, 12 hours later:_  
“Oh, Areum-ssi, Kolette-ssi, want to grab drinks with us tonight?”  
“I’m in. But Kolette can’t.”  
“Sorry! I have somewhere important to go right now! Next time, okay?”  
Right after my shift at the hospital was over, I excused myself from Areum and some of our classmates to leave in a hurry and call for a taxi.  
“Tell me the good news tomorrow, go get him Kolette!”  
“T-Thank you...! See you tomorrow!”  
I glanced at my best friend for one more time and waved goodbye before I sprinted towards the main entrance.  
“Where is Kolette-ssi going in a hurry?”  
Areum couldn’t help but laugh at our classmate’s question as she replied right away,  
“To meet her **most important person**. Isn’t that obvious?”

“A-Ah... damn it... of all the times my phone has to die on me too...”  
I cursed to myself in a whisper at the back of the taxi the minute I was about to check my phone if Yoongi had texted or called, my phone was drained of battery. Why did I forget to charge it at the hospital? Maybe I was way too caught up in the moment.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Let’s just hope the flight wasn’t delayed or anything of that sort...”  
Clenching on to the silver pendant on my neck, I stared out of the car’s windows with a hopeful expression.

But there’s a clearcut difference of **_waiting in hope from waiting in vain_**.  
And I would end up in the latter soon enough.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I... I wonder where he is...”  
It’s been two hours already since I was standing and waiting for Yoongi to come. The place was about to close in about an hour. I could only tap my legs and grab onto my bag’s handle in anxiousness.  
 _“Kolette...!”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“H-He wouldn’t stand me up... would he?”  
I didn’t know what to think. Was this his way of payback for how I had treated him before? Was I really that too trusting? Was I too blinded by the **_signs_**? Would Yoongi really do this to me? Even after everything I’m doing to fix my mistakes?  
“M-Miss? Are you still waiting for someone? We’re about to clean up in a few minutes.”  
“A-Ah, I’m sorry... of course, I’ll leave now.”  
Feeling embarrassed, I then hurriedly exited the garden with tears already coming out of my green eyes on perfect timing.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“I’m sorry, Kolette...”_  
“H-How could I be so stupid... w-was this a bad _**sign**_ after all?”  
I asked myself pathetically while staring up at the falling petals from the cherry blossom trees by the sidewalk with my tears falling down as well.  
“S-So... t-this is it then huh...”  
And before I knew it, it had been officially three hours that’d already passed.

_Yet, no signs of Yoongi anywhere._

I just stared wistfully at the music box in my hands before I closed my eyes and let the heavy tears stream down my cheeks and walked home alone, broken than I’ve ever felt in all these months.  
“L-Looks like it’ll be too late to greet you _belated happy birthday_ face-to-face, Min Yoongi-ssi...”  
From that point on, I didn’t know where my feelings for one man were going to lead me anymore.

***  
 _Summer of 2011:  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: Sigh (Vanilla Acoustic)_  
 _Two years_ flew by since that day I met her.  
 _A year_ flew since that the most unforgettable summer of our lives.  
And it was _**July 9th**_ once again.

But this _**July 9th**_ was unlike any other.  
It would end up to become one of the _most hurtful days_ for the both of us.

After what happened during the spring, the distance I thought that would disappear between Kolette and I just kept on increasing. The memory still preyed upon my inner thoughts on repeat as if it all happened yesterday.  
 _*beeps*_  
“...”  
I was at the back of the taxi trying to call Kolette for numerous times since I had arrived. It was already close to midnight when the plane landed. _Four hours delayed_. And all I got from the other line was constant beeping. Did she turn off her phone? I just sent a quick text to her before I watched the night view of Seoul from the window, yet not even the scenery could relieve me of my restlessness.  
 _Yoongi: I’m sorry... I just landed. Where are you? I’ll come to you. Kolette... I... I’m sorry.  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... why... why aren’t you answering?”  
Knowing that there’d be no way she was still at the meeting place we agreed to, there could only be one place she’d be at now.  
 _*knock* *knock*_  
“K-Kolette...? A-Are you there? Please... please let me see you. I... I’m sorry...!”  
Arriving at her dorm, I knocked at her room in a panic. Yet, no answer. I knocked harder this time that even my heart’s heavy pounding could echo in between.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...! P-Please...! L-Let’s talk this out...!”  
It took a few more attempts before the door finally opened up, but the figure that then stood in front of me wasn’t Kolette herself.  
“A-Areum-ssi...”  
It was no other than Kolette’s best friend herself who had a very upset expression on her face. And that’s when I knew. I fucked up big time as she just told me before closing the door behind her and I could only get _a second glance at a crying figure by the bed_ ,  
“Well, look who decided to show up? Friendly advice Yoongi-ssi, if you had no intention of keeping your _promise_ , don’t agree to one in the first place.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“P-Please Areum-ssi... let me see her...”  
“And what? Make Kolette feel more distressed than she already is? Just... just go home for now Yoongi-ssi. You’re not only disturbing everyone who’s at the dorm now, but you’re only going to make things worse with her. Please. While I’m still asking you nicely.”  
“A-Areum-ssi...”  
“She at least wanted to give this to you if you ever decided to show up. Take care on your way home. Excuse me.”  
She just handed over a small black box to me before she politely bowed and excused herself to go back inside Kolette’s room.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-This is...”  
 _“Music boxes are so small but they pack a lot of sentimental values huh, Yoongi?”_  
Her voice and the soft familiar melody from the music box were the only ones my hearing could hear again and again as I stood there outside of Kolette’s dorm, almost falling to my knees teary-eyed because what she said to me before made so much more sense now.  
 _“Life... life doesn’t go the way we always want it to, genius-ssi... that’s why... we should tell the people we care about how much we love them before... before it’s all too late.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... I’m sorry Kolette... I’m... I’m so sorry... for not telling you... _**I love you**_. I really do still love you so much, doctor noona...”  
I remember crying all the way home for the first time that early morning.

When I tried to talk to Kolette a few days later and even weeks later, I was only greeted with the same words and wry smile.  
“We have nothing to say to each other, Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And when she switched to formal honorifics with me, that’s when I knew that this was no longer a simple fight between us. **It was like a seesaw, but this time around, it wasn’t me on the bottom, it was Kolette**. Our places switched.  
“Kolette-ssi...”  
So I gave her space once again. But this time around, I couldn’t mess up and I promised myself I wouldn’t run away again. Because losing her was something only my _foolish_ self would want.

Yet, I was only human. My patience was bound to reach its limit. And that was to be tested on the day of _**July 9th**_ itself.

“It’s that day again huh...”  
Flashbacks of these _two years_ started playing inside my head. However, I wasn’t looking forward to what was going to happen today. Not after everything that transpired. My heart felt like it was _frozen in time_ even though I was still wearing the silver necklace around my neck.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“What’s going to happen to us... Yoongi...”  
“Kolette, Doctor Kwon wants to see us right now.”  
Areum’s voice then snapped me back to reality just in time.  
“A-Ah, sure. I’ll be right there Areum-ssi!”  
Freeing my thoughts of anything troubling, I then went on with my day. Because months from now, I’ll be graduating. I’ll be the closest to achieving my dream. And... **I had no time to be a pitiful little girl crying over a man... a man I love or perhaps had loved so much to the point where I don’t know what I want anymore**.

“So, Kolette-ssi, Areum-ssi, this is...”  
“Oh? Johnny-ssi?”  
Areum then recognized the tall and handsome boy standing beside Doctor Kwon.  
“Yeah, it’s me noona.”  
“You two know each other?”  
I asked Areum curiously that it made her sigh on cue and the boy named Johnny chuckle.  
“D-Did I say something wrong?”  
“Kolette-ssi, really... Johnny-ssi is our junior. He took the same class with us on pathology last semester.”  
“Ohhh... I see then.”  
Trying to rack my memories, he just said to us,  
“Ah, don’t worry about it Areum noona. Of course Kolette noona wouldn’t know me since I’m just barely holding on to med school while she’s the apple of the eye for our entire department.”  
“N-No, don’t say it like that Johnny-ssi.”  
“Ever the smooth talker you are, Johnny-ssi. Don’t try to hit on Kolette, she’s still in a relationship you see.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What the hell Areum? Why would you tell him that? I swear her mouth really needs zipping sometimes.  
“I-Ignore what she said just now, Johnny-ssi.”  
Doctor Kwon then just told us all lastly before he went on his way,  
“Okay, okay. Since the three of you are weirdly acquainted now, I’ll leave it to the two of you to train him since he’ll be the one to take your places in a few months.”  
As Areum and I then walked him through a bit of the basics of what he should do, we were then caught by surprise when she out of the blue cursed the second she checked her phone.  
“A-Ah shit...!”  
“Areum-ssi? Something wrong?”  
She then gave me a worried look and said,  
“Kolette, I might have to bail on you for now. Professor Nam wants me to come to the faculty office _ASAP_.”  
Patting her on the shoulder, I just smiled and replied,  
“Go. I’ll take care of things from here. Don’t sweat about it.”  
“T-Thank you...! I owe you!”  
Areum gave me a quick hug before she ran off from the scene and raised her voice to Johnny saying lastly,  
“Hey Johnny-ssi! I swear if you do anything to Kolette, you’re so going to wish you didn’t enter med school...!”  
“H-Hey Areum-ssi!”  
“Loud and clear, Areum noona!”  
Catching Johnny’s brown eyes, the two of us just fell to a laugh together before I then finished advising him his tasks for the rest of the day.  
“You’re so thorough but it sounds so simple when you’re the one explaining it to me, Kolette noona.”  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Doctor noona...”_  
It was strange to have someone else call me noona. I’ve been so used to only one person calling me that, and I can’t get his haunting voice out of my head no matter how hard I try. But I couldn’t let it affect me. I just couldn’t.  
“That’s good to know then.”  
“Kolette noona... I...”  
All of a sudden, my mind blanked out the moment I felt unfamiliar arms wrap around my body on cue.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What are you...?!”  
While I was still trying to process what was happening in front of me, I didn’t know. I didn’t know there was a pair of _familiar cinnamon brown eyes_ who had watched the entire scene play out from a distance with his hands turning into fists.

 _BGM: One Last Time (Girls’ Generation)_  
 **“Those fallen leaves that look so insecure  
Seem like they’re looking at us  
If I touch your hand, even if it’s all at once  
It seems like it’ll all become crumbs...”**  
I looked at the lyrics I wrote in the music sheet. It was the one of the more important songs I had finished back in Germany. A song for that one woman herself. _**Autumn Leaves**_. And I was going to give it to her and play it for her today if she’d let me.  
 _Yoongi: Are you at the hospital right now? I’m coming by. See you, doctor noona._  
“I hope Areum-ssi was right... I hope Kolette’s going to love these _purple hyacinth flowers_.”  
Feeling optimistic, I headed for the hospital with my head held up high. But I wasn’t at all prepared at what I was about to witness when I got there.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know how to feel the very moment I witnessed with my own two eyes another man wrap Kolette around in his unknown arms. Before I knew it, I dropped the music sheets and the bouquet in my arms as _my hands formed into fists while my gaze turned burning red in color_. I then walked up to where Kolette and that man was. There was _**no use in balancing on breaking branches**_ any longer.

“Let me go, Johnny-ssi.”  
“Noona... I just... I just want to tell you that I’ve liked you for years now. Ever since that bloodletting activity.”  
Now it all makes sense. No wonder he seemed familiar to me. He was one of the team members that time. How could I even forget? But... that wasn’t the issue at hand. Smiling at him, I was about to gently remove his arms around me and tell him,  
“Johnny-ssi, thank you for telling me. But, I can’t accept your feelings. You know that. I’m... I’m still in love in my boyfriend. I’ll always be.”  
And then everything that befell next made my eyes and whole body tremble at the one voice that then came into the scene.  
“Hey, take your hands off of Kolette boy.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-That voice... Yoon—?!”  
Yet, when I was about to finish my last syllable, I could only shriek the moment Yoongi then punched Johnny in the face. It all happened so fast.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“N-No...! Y-Yoongi...!”  
Johnny on cue fell to the ground, with blood coming out of his nose as Yoongi was about to grab him by his chest. Snapping out of my sudden shock, I knew I had to stop him.  
“...”  
“W-Why did you lay your hands on Kolette huh?”  
Using all of my strength, I managed to pull Yoongi away from him as I then screamed,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“E-Enough...! W-What do you think you’re doing?!”  
The look in Yoongi’s cinnamon brown eyes was so cold. _The coldest I’ve ever seen them_ that it sent shivers throughout my whole body. And not the good kind.  
“W-What’s gotten into you?! J-Johnny-ssi... are you okay?”

As I watched Kolette go to that man’s side instead of mine, it then dawned on me as I looked at my slightly bloody knuckles. _**The seesaw was in the middle now**_. Both of us were in the middle now. Our feelings for each other were in a _stalemate_ right at that moment.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... w-why...”  
When Kolette almost glared at me with those pained and now perturbed green eyes of hers, I knew. **I knew she couldn’t look at me in the same light anymore. And I couldn’t look at her the same way I did before**. Not after she chose to side with this unknown man instead of with me. It really felt like a big shitty slap to my ego. And my heart.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“A-And here I thought... _**July 9th**_ was supposed to be a day special to us... but... but I guess not anymore.”  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
Trying hard not to tear up like an idiot, I just looked at Kolette’s watering green eyes for one last time before I forced a smiled at her saying,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“There’s no use for **_second, third, and even hundredth chances_** between us any longer, K-Kolette...”  
And then I walked the fuck out. I walked out pathetically because my anger and pride didn’t want to be on the losing end this time around.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...!”  
When Yoongi walked away, I didn’t know what to do honestly. Should I chase after him? Should I let him go so he can calm down? Everything was so new to me that I had no idea what to do next. I would never portray Yoongi to be the fighting type, but I guess... **I never knew him all too well even after these two years.**  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _Are you just going to cry like a pathetic little girl then Kolette?_ My inner thoughts then scowled at me. I then glanced at Johnny who was still in a daze from everything that just occurred now. I helped him sit upright and asked him to continue pinching his nose just above the nostrils in order to stop the bleeding before telling him,  
“I’m... I’m sorry Johnny-ssi. I’ll be right back.”  
Being quick on my feet, I then ran to follow wherever Yoongi may have gone. But... my heart just sank the minute I found a scattered pile of _music sheets_ on the ground along with a crushed bouquet of _purple hyacinth flowers_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“ **July 9th** was supposed to be a day special to us... but... but I guess not anymore.”_  
As I knelt on my knees and held the flowers around my arms, my tears just doubled the very minute I read the lyrics written on the music sheets. And a short message that said,

> _For: Kolette,  
>  This song is for you. And you alone.  
> I know I’m never good with real words except when I’m in front of the piano and guitar. And with you.  
> I don’t know too if this will ever be enough to tell you how much I love you... and how you’ll remind me of **autumn leaves** from now on.  
> From: Yoongi_

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... w-why... w-why does this keep happening to us... j-just why...”  
I could only hug the flowers and music sheets around my shuddering arms. My heart throbbed so much to the point that my tears and sobbing just couldn’t stop.

It was the _third July 9th_ since that day we met.  
It was the _second July 9th_ since I ran to his arms right after I stepped out of the plane.  
And now... it was the **_first July 9th_** that Yoongi and I made each other cry for the first time in this never-ending **_seesaw_** relationship.

And it would be the _last_.

***  
 _Autumn of 2011:  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: I will get lost, you go your way (G.Na, Yong Jun Hyung)_  
 **“I can see that our relationship is fading  
An empty relationship like the autumn sky  
An ambiguous difference compared to before  
Today of all days, the much quieter night...”**  
It’s been months. Months since Kolette and I saw each other eye-to-eye. I don’t know how to describe the stand of what we are to each other. And before we knew it, the season of autumn leaves came upon us. And the _second year_ of our supposedly ongoing relationship.  
“D-Damn it... p-playing this doesn’t feel right...”  
With irritation, I banged my hands on the piano’s keys. I spent most of my time locking myself up inside the music department’s practice rooms. But even when I’m alone with the piano and guitar, _I still felt a big gaping hole in my chest_. And ironically... it was only Kolette herself could fill this hole up.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“Y-Yoongi...!”_  
We both never sent messages to each other since that summer. Areum would be the one texting me of how Kolette was. _Is this really the end then to our story?_ Will we just drift apart so simply like this?  
“No matter how many times I ask myself that... I still can’t find an answer...”  
Leaning on the piano’s keys with my head down, my heart almost stopped beating the second I heard the door to the practice room open and echoed the one voice I’ve been wanting to hear _the most and the least_.  
“Y-Yoongi-ssi?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette-ssi?”  
As soon as my brown eyes locked onto those green ones, she just closed the door behind her and walked right up to where I was while holding strongly the pieces of paper around her arms.

 _A little while ago:_  
Touching the pendant on my neck, I knew there could only be one solution to all of this crying and heartache. It was time to stop running away. Because... _**if Yoongi and I continued to play like kids on a damn seesaw, we were just going to lose in the end**_.  
“Kolette... are you sure about doing this?”  
My best friend asked me countless times now. Was I really sure of what I was about to do next? I don’t know. All I know was... this has got to stop. We need to stop once and for all.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes... I’m sure now.”  
My fingers could only stroke gently the _medal and music sheets_ I was holding in both of my hands before I made my way back to the university to find that one man. **The man named Min Yoongi.**

“Can... can you move a bit?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Ah, sure...”  
Kolette just gave me a small smile as I scooted a bit from the small stool in front of the piano. With enough space, she then sat down next to me. It’s been a long while since we were this close to one another. I could smell the scent of her hair’s shampoo tickling my nose and feel her warmth so close. _Her warmth that I haven’t felt for a long while too_.  
“Kolette... why are you...?”  
“Yoongi-ssi, can you play this for me?”  
As she then placed the sheets of paper on the music rack of the piano, my chest throbbed at the ever familiar notes and lyrics.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“Please? Will you please play it for me?”  
When Kolette looked at me with those sincere green eyes of hers, she knew. She knew I couldn’t simply say no to her. That _she was my biggest strength and my biggest weakness_ altogether still.  
“Okay. I’ll play it.”  
I then played the song for her while singing the lyrics for the first time. Funny how I was playing the song called _**Autumn Leaves**_ I wrote for her when it was coincidentally fall here in Seoul now. _Exactly two years since she told me “yes.”_

 **“I want the you that meets my eyes  
I want the you that wants me again  
Please don’t leave me  
Please don’t fall  
Never never fall  
Don’t go far away...”**  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I let the tears glide down my cheeks as I listened to Yoongi play and sing the song he had meant to give me back then. The lyrics were so beautifully written yet it was such a sad melody that described how he had viewed our relationship ever since. And now, it also loomed on me that _I had felt the same way as well._  
“...”  
 **“Like those falling dry leaves  
This love, like dry leaves  
Never never fall  
It’s fading...”**  
As he was at the ending of the song, the two of us just stayed silent for minutes that the only two things we both could hear echoing were the sound of the clock ticking and our hearts’ pounding. That was until I closed my eyes with the rest of my tears coming out as I told him,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Let’s... let’s go on our separate ways, Yoongi.”  
“K-Kolette...”  
Staring deeply into his cinnamon brown eyes, I placed my shaking hands on his ever smooth cheeks and just tried my hardest to smile for him. To smile for him even though I felt like my heart was being smashed into a thousand pieces.  
“Let’s... let’s just stop hurting each other once and for all, Yoongi.”

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _ **“Let’s... let’s just stop hurting each other once and for all, Yoongi.”**_  
The words that I knew were going to come one way or another finally happened. Yet... yet why did it still hurt like shit? It felt like my whole heart was being choked up. As soon as I felt Kolette’s warm hands on my cheeks while looking at me with that distressed smile of hers behind those tears, I couldn’t stop myself from crying as well.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... a-are you really going to let go of us just like this...?”  
“P-Please... please don’t make it harder than it already is Yoongi... Y-You and I... we need to go on our own ways.”  
My whole body felt detached the moment Kolette then reached out something from her pocket and she took off the silver necklace around her neck.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... y-you’re not...”  
“I’m... I’m giving you back these little ones. **No matter how little they are... they’ll always remind me of my biggest memories of you...** and I don’t know... I don’t know if my heart would be able to take it if I still keep them with me after today.”  
Without even hesitating, I then wrapped Kolette around my embrace. I didn’t care if I was shaking, I just wanted to feel her warmth even if this would be the last time. _The last time I’ll be this close to her. And to her heart_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... I’m... sorry Kolette... I’m sorry for everything...”  
“Don’t... don’t say sorry please... I should be the one telling you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t love you anymore... when you’re the only one... _**the only one I’ve ever loved this much**_...”  
“ _P-Pabo_... I... I’m sorry too for not telling you... you’re the reason why my life became colorful again... I’m sorry for not showing you how much I love you... when... _**when you’re the one who showed me what it means to be loved this much**_...”  
The both of us just hugged each other in silence and tears. The hug that felt like a _once-in-a-lifetime_ chance.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... t-thank you for being _**my crown**_.”  
“And thank you... t-thank you for being _**my homeland**_ , Min Yoongi...”  
As we gazed into one another’s eyes, Kolette moved closer and kissed me for the last time on my wet cheeks and stroked them gently telling me,  
“G-Goodbye, my genius-ssi... take care of yourself.”  
“N-No... K-Kolette...”  
She stood up from where we were sitting and was about to head for the door until I pulled back her left hand just in time and placed something in her palm.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi-ssi...”  
“Please keep this... even if it’s too much to ask. Take care of it like you always have...”  
When I was about to walk out of the practice room, I was left paralyzed the second he pulls back my left hand and places a familiar gold medal on my hand’s palm.  
“B-But...”  
“ _ **I... I will get lost, so you can go on your own way, doctor noona**_.”  
Those were Yoongi’s last parting words as he then turned his back at me. And that was the one final **_sign_** I needed too before I turned around and closed the door and left.

I could only fall to my knees and peer at the medal on my left hand, as if it was the only thing left _**holding all this love out here in the hall**_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-So this is how goodbye feels like... Y-Yoongi...”

As I couldn’t bring myself to watch Kolette leave the door, I just held firmly the still gleaming silver necklace in my right hand as my tears dropped steadily on it. **Both of us were no longer on the seesaw**. There was _**no amount of crying I can do for her, and for us anymore**_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-So this is how _exile_ feels like... K-Kolette...”

And that was how the film reel had stripped us out of each other’s lives. On the same season where _“us”_ had started, it was also the same season where the song had reached its ending.

Nevertheless, the story was still _rolling_ on.

***  
 _Autumn of 2012:  
Cape Town, South Africa_

 _BGM: Another Day (Monday Kiz, Punch)_  
Another day.  
Another season.  
Another year.  
A lot of things have changed.

“Doc Kolette, where do you want these first aid kits and boxes of medicines?”  
“By the boxes of bottled water please.”  
Ever since I’ve graduated last spring and passed the licensure exams and took oath a month ago, I left _Seoul_. I left the place where somehow everything started for me, in terms of the amount of memories I made, and also where things had ended. I was now busy volunteering in _South Africa_ for first hand experience on the medical field. I... I didn’t want to be just the kind of doctor who settles down in a hospital or clinic right after I had passed.  
“Doc Kolette, Doc Santos wants to speak to you right after you’re done taking note of everything that came.”  
“Sure. I’ll be right there.”  
Deep down, there was also another important reason why I didn’t want to stay in Seoul. The thought of running into him or seeing his cinnamon brown eyes still made me unsettled. We haven’t heard from each other ever since what happened last year. **He went on with his life. And I went on with mine. That’s just how real life was.** In the end, I had achieved the dream I’ve been reaching towards for years. And I do hope... I do hope he’s achieved his new dream too. He deserved that at the least even if we both didn’t work out in the end.  
“Okay. I think that’s about it.”  
Tying up my hair with a rubber tie, I was about to put on my white lab coat and stethoscope before heading inside the hospital where I’m volunteering at until,  
“Doc Kolette! You dropped something...!”  
One of the young high school volunteers then called out to me.  
“Oh? Thank you th—...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And on cue of course my heart went thump, thump like a fool at the thing I had accidentally dropped. It was still bright as ever, _the gold medal I had been keeping safe_.  
“Thank you for picking it up.”  
“You’re welcome doc! Is it something important to you then?”  
My lips just formed to an honest smile as I held the medal securely in my right hand before telling her,  
 _“Keep it safe for me, doctor noona...”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. It’s an important memento from someone. It’s what they say... **a lucky charm**?”  
She then grinned at me and teased before making a run for it,  
“Oh... so it’s from your special someone then Doc Kolette? How adorable...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Hey...! I didn’t say that. You better run before I catch you and poke you with a syringe!”  
Although we had walked out of each other’s lives, my mind would still from time-to-time think about him. _**About Yoongi**_. About our memories that felt like it all just transpired yesterday in the snap of a camera’s flash.

And for some inane reason, it still felt like the most natural thing for me.

_Meanwhile back in,  
Seoul, South Korea:_

**“Alright, a repeating seesaw game**  
 **It's about time we put an end to it**  
 **All right, this boring seesaw game**  
 **Somebody has to get off of it**  
 **There's no turning back...”**  
While waiting for the artist who was going to do a recording today, I was alone in the recording studio and trying to put together the final lyrics of the song I’ve been working on for a while now. I was about to graduate this spring but I was already taken in by a newly formed entertainment agency as their _youngest producer_. It really felt like my new dreams were bearing fruit already, but... of course, through my songs and my lyrics, it still revolved around one person. _My muse. The woman with the green eyes. **Kolette herself**_.  
“How... how is it so easy to think of words to write when it comes to you... doctor noona.”  
It may have been a year since I last saw her, but every time I close my eyes and drift into sleep, I could still see those green eyes looking straight at me. It was as if she’s watching me from behind even though she really wasn’t there and she was far away. Reaching for something inside my pocket, I held onto the _still, glowing silver necklace_ that had my initials.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“MY? MY as in Min Yoongi...?”_  
“Looks like thinking of you still feels like second nature to me even after a year... Kolette.”  
While I was busy being deep into my own thoughts, the sound of the door opening and another person’s voice then brought me back to reality.  
“A-Ah...! I’m so sorry for being late, Min-PD!”  
“No. It’s fine. Let’s just get started.”  
“T-Thank you!”  
One of the agency’s soloists then peeked at my lyrics’ notebook and looked at me in awe asking,  
“Min-PD... those lyrics...?”  
“Ah. It’s something I’ve been working on. It’s almost finished, I just need a couple of more lyrics.”  
His next response then made me dumbfounded.  
“The lyrics sound so sad, Min-PD. It almost sounds like _**a downhearted story between two people who had no other option left than to leave one another, even when they still love each other so much**_. What’s the title of the song?”  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“G-Goodbye, my genius-ssi...”_  
Of course, with a small smile, I simply told him,  
“ _ **Seesaw**_. It’s going to be called that.”

I don’t know where and what the future holds, but I know. I know there’s no use in thinking about what had went wrong between Kolette and I. If things end, they end. _Like a song, it had both a beginning and ending_.

However... why was I getting the strong feeling that this ending would just lead us back into the beginning?

_**With no, fair warning signs at all.** _

***  
 **TO BE CONTINUED.**

~~_finished: 10/31/2020_ ~~


	4. exile (the last kiss) : a Min Yoongi story (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exile (the last kiss) 
> 
> Part 2/2 of Min Yoongi’s story for the folklore series 🥺  
> !!! THIS IS A MIXED POV STORY !!!
> 
> I cried when I wrote the ending, so I hope you won’t cry as well.  
> (PS: I’m sorry in advance to Trish and Risa) 🙂
> 
> ⚠️ Trigger Warnings: mentions of death ⚠️

_**exile (the last kiss)** _

_a Min Yoongi story (part 2/2)_

  
***  
 ** _Summer of 2016:_**  
 ** _Assistance Publique – Hôpitaux de Paris_**  
 ** _Paris, France_**  
 ** _Day 2 of 365_**

_BGM: See Saw (LOONA)_   
**You appear and disappear, and it repeats.**   
**Like a seesaw.**

Even in my dreams.

 _A year ago,_  
 _July 9th of 2015_  
“4 years already huh?”  
I was in the break room while drinking a canned coffee I brought from the vending machine. Like clockwork, memories just flood in and take over my whole thought process during this day. I don’t know if _July 9th_ is a blessing or a damn curse that likes to taunt with me every single year.  
 _“O-Oof... careful. Did you miss me that much?”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And fuck, does it still hurt like a raw, newly bleeding cut.  
“Whoever said that time can heal really is much more of a crazier person than I am.”  
For the past four years, I’ve always been distracting myself every _July 9th_. Volunteering in South Africa around 2012, volunteering in South America by 2013, and deciding to move to Paris in late 2014 when I got offered to work for the one of the most prominent hospitals as a neurosurgeon. You’d think when everything was working out perfectly, **the one** variable that came to your life, made it beautiful, but ended up walking out of your life, was the only thing that didn’t end up happily.  
 _“I’m never going to leave you even if you want me to, Kolette.”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What am I even doing... for fuck’s sake Kolette, stop getting on the _seesaw_ again... when there’s no one on the other side anymore.”  
Before my innermost thoughts were about to pounce on me, I stood up and exited the break room while holding the still, half-full canned coffee in my right hand.

 _“Kolette?”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Every _July 9th_ , I’d pause and glance behind me as if I’d see you there, standing. **Looking at me with those two eyes with honesty, always shining on me. I only picture you from those moments**. Yet, no matter how much time I wait, you’re not in front of me now.  
“Was I dreaming again?”  
I whispered that to myself every single year. Taking a deep breath in and out, I was about to walk back to my room here at the hospital until,  
“Doc Kolette!”  
A familiar voice then took over my hearing, snapping me out of my melancholic state of mind. Smiling, I then waved to the two silhouettes who were making their way towards me, one with _amber eyes_ and the other with _gray eyes_.  
“It’s good to see you again, dear Doctor Kolette.”  
The beautiful old woman with the gray eyes then gazed at me with a loving smile on her face while holding both of my hands gently in hers.  
“It’s good to see you too, Miss Keira.”

“Your condition is improving, Miss Keira. But of course, better not overexert yourself okay?”  
Miss Keira was my very first patient here when I started working in Paris. She had a very long history when it came to visiting the hospital because of an accident that happened to her years ago, that’s why I was surprised when her medical files were then handed over for me to handle. She was a very special case. And still is for me.  
“Oh please my dear. How can I overexert myself in my old age already? Tell that to my daughter here instead.”  
She chuckled at what I had to tell her. Her daughter who had the most gorgeous pair of amber eyes I’ve ever seen then said on cue,  
“Don’t listen to her, Doc Kolette. She’s not only being stubborn, but she’s also a good actress too. She’s always overexerting herself especially during the summer when her granddaughter comes to visit her.”  
“I can tell.”  
The three of us fell to cheery laughter. It was a breath of fresh air when Miss Keira, and her daughter too, came to have her routine checkup with me once every quarter.  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
“Oh, I need to take this. Excuse me.”  
Before we knew it, Miss Keira’s daughter then excused herself from the room when her phone started ringing.

“She’s always busy, isn’t she huh?”  
“Well, when you’re a diplomat for France, I guess it can’t be helped. Even though she tells me I’m the overexerting one, she’s also very guilty of that too. But, I always do appreciate her effort to bring me here to you even when she’s so busy.”  
It felt like I was talking to a very close family member whenever I spoke to Miss Keira. She always had that warm air about her. Just like that someone hidden deep inside my memories. Feeling a slight twinge in my chest, I just tried my best to keep up my smile.  
“That’s good to know always, Miss Keira.”  
While I was checking the results of her latest blood tests, her next question then completely caught me off guard.  
“So, how are you my dear? Why do you look so tired and have a fake smile plastered over that beautiful face of yours?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Miss Keira...”  
With a genuine smile, she then said to me,  
“I may be old, but I know a fake smile when I see one. Especially a fake smile caused by a broken heart.”  
How did she see through me so easily? And for some odd reason, I wanted to tell her. Tell her everything that’s been weighing on me like a damn _seesaw_ for the past four years. Taking off my glasses, I replied,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“To be honest... **it’s not like it was a day that made me so tired** but... just on this one day, I can’t help but feel like I may have had **a long day filled with plastered fake smiles or I may have had just too much coffee to drink** , or both.”  
“Is it because of someone who had left your side then?”  
W-Was I really that obvious? With my green eyes and her gray eyes looking straight at each other, I could only stare in awe at Miss Keira’s question.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-How did you know, Miss Keira?”  
She just patted gently my hands on the table saying,  
“Because that’s just **how love works, my dear. It feels like the most beautiful thing to exist, but is also the most tragic thing to also exist altogether. It goes back and forth. It goes up and down**. Like a...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Like a _seesaw_...”  
Miss Keira nodded in agreement and told me,  
“Exactly. And you know that the _seesaw_ is the only place in a playground you can’t play without someone else. So whatever you’re feeling, just remember that fate is a funny thing, dear Kolette.”  
“W-What do you mean, Miss Keira?”  
She only smiled and said,  
“Let’s just say that even if the **universe has a way of making two people meet and makes them separate, it doesn’t mean everything ends from there my dear**. Unless if that’s what you really want, but I know... you’re still waiting for that other person to be with you on the _seesaw_ again. The one person you can’t ever bring yourself to forget.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
It really felt like she summed up all the feelings I was sadly bottling up to myself for the past four years. Her words. Her words lingered around my heart and soul, as if... as if I was hearing that man’s piano playing all over again. Hearing his guitar strumming all over again.  
“Miss Keira... you’re really amazing, you know that?”  
“You’re starting to sound like my granddaughter, Kolette dear. She really would’ve adored an older sister such as yourself.”  
My whole body felt lighter after listening to Miss Keira’s profound words. This may sound like an exaggeration, but I may—no, _I will never forget her words for as long as I live_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you... thank you really, Miss Keira. I’ll always remember what you’ve said just now.”

 _July 9th_ indeed was a long day for me.  
Because for the past four years, I’ve asked myself time and time again while still holding on to the _gold medal_ that I never had any intention of throwing away,  
“ **Which is right, I see or saw you? Which is right, I love or loved you?** ”

And the year right after, we both were brought back to the very beginning and to each other’s lives, but it had to be in the most heart wrenching way possible.

**  
 _BGM: Trivia: Seesaw (BTS)_  
“Why are you even crying in your sleep, Kolette?”  
I was sitting right beside her bed, watching her sleep. Ever since Kolette collapsed in my arms, she’s been unconscious for almost a day. All I could hear were the sounds of the clock ticking and the machines giving her support. And the minute tears started streaming down her closed eyes, my mind had so many questions but my heart could only feel one thing. Pain. Nothing but pain.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“What kind of _sign_ are you trying to give me now, doctor noona?”  
That was the only question I could whisper to her as I moved closer and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

And just by feeling Kolette’s warmth up close again, memories of these past four years came back to me like a haunted melody. A haunted melody like the _dead leaves_ that fall from the trees.

_A year ago._   
_July 9th, 2015_

“ _ **It was a good start**_  
 _ **The ups and downs, themselves**_  
 _ **Before I knew it, we grew tired**_  
 _ **With meaningless emotional drains...**_ ”  
It was dark. It was **1:58** in the early morning. And I still couldn’t sleep. It’s been the fourth year. I always found myself playing the piano to lull myself to sleep. But every time I try to close my eyes, she was the only one I’d see. Her silhouette with the _red brown hair_. The pair of _green eyes_ that haunt me yet calms me down.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ ** _Repeated seesaw game_**  
 ** _Now, I'm so sick of this_**  
 ** _Repeated seesaw game_**  
 ** _We're getting sick and tired of each other..._** ”  
Every year I’d play this song. Over and over. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I kept playing it every year and recorded it with my phone. But... but when my eyes would then find the half empty wine glass and the glistening _silver necklace_ right next to it along with the folded photo I had kept, I remember. I remember why this song had meant so much to me. The song called _**Seesaw**_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
It was funny too when the entertainment agency had been praising me for years now since I started working for them. Like I’d get texts at around this time saying,  
“Min-PD! You did it again...!”  
“ ** _Seesaw_** is still on the digital charts even after two years since you’d released it. _**Autumn leaves**_ is going to be awarded too as a top produced song by the end of the year!”  
“You’re really a genius, Min PD-nim!”  
Empty compliments and praises continued to follow me even years later. Yet... every time they’d say the word ‘ _genius_ ’ there was only one voice my head and my heart could echo.  
 _“I’m so proud of you, genius-ssi...!”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ _ **If we didn’t have feelings for each other**_  
 _ **If we didn’t think of each other**_  
 _ **Would we have dragged it out like this?**_  
 _ **Now if you don’t have any more feelings**_  
 _ **This seesaw is dangerous**_  
 _ **Stop thinking about me...**_ ”  
I always imagined myself standing in front of the _seesaw_ again. But without someone on the other side, without her, without Kolette, what was even the use of getting on it alone?  
 _“Take care of yourself always, Min Yoongi-ssi.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“F-Fuck... i-is it really impossible for me to erase you K-Kolette...”  
My hands then banged the piano’s keys inside my apartment in resentment.

Leaning my head back on the couch with a long sigh, I poured more of the wine in the glass and finished drinking it in one swift motion.  
“ ** _I walk on this seesaw without you..._** ”  
I whispered to myself while holding on to her folded photo in my right hand and the silver necklace on my left.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“Thank you always, my crown.”_  
Her soft voice felt like a mirage to me. Grabbing my phone, I then checked the voice memos I had recorded and renamed the latest one,  
“ ** _Seesaw_ , July 9th 2015.**”  
I don’t know the real purposes for these voice memos, but maybe it was a coping mechanism for me. A coping mechanism I did for myself every _July 9th_ since 2012.

It didn’t help too when Areum’s, Kolette’s best friend, SNS profile would mention Kolette in her posts. Yes I knew. I knew Kolette went back to Europe after all of the volunteering she did when she left Seoul. Was I crazy enough to contact her? Sometimes. But, every single time I tried to dial her number, the only thing I got was,  
 _“This number is no longer in service or has been disconnected.”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“She really changed her contact number huh...”  
And that was pretty much how I tried to keep myself sane since 2012. Music was the only thing constant to me and keeping me on my toes.

That’s why... I would’ve never expected to be brought back to the very beginning a year after.

On the same, wretched day of _July 9th._  
There she was, standing in front of the _seesaw_ all over again.

There my muse was. There Kolette was.  
The universe brought her back to me.  
But why... why did it have to end up with me seeing her in a hospital bed instead?

After that rather long flashback, I snapped myself back to reality the moment my phone started to vibrate inside my pocket.  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
Without even bothering to check the caller ID, I just answered it.  
“Hello?”  
“Yoongi-yah?”  
It was no other than my older brother. Shit. I completely forgot to call him back after everything that happened since the cursed _July 9th_.  
“H-Hyung. Sorry. Sorry if I didn’t call you back yesterday. It’s been hectic here in Paris you see.”  
“Is it a bad time to call you then?”  
My eyes then focused on Kolette who was still unconscious on the bed for a few more seconds before I told my brother,  
“No. It’s okay.”  
“Good. Because there’s something important you should know. The real reason why I called you yesterday.”  
Why was I getting an ominous feeling about this? I stood up from the stool and walked myself out of the room, slowly sliding the door close.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Hyung, tell me. Tell me what you were going to say since yesterday.”  
“Yoongi-yah, you need to know that...”  
My eyes couldn’t stop shaking and my heart started beating rapidly at the next words my brother had to tell me. I could only lean my back on the door and say,  
“W-What...?”

Before I knew it, both of us, Kolette and I found ourselves sitting on the _seesaw_ again.

Yet this time around, we weren’t sure who’s going to go up or down. And obviously we didn’t know where this beginning the universe had all planned out would lead up to.

***  
 ** _Summer of 2016:_**  
 ** _Assistance Publique – Hôpitaux de Paris_**  
 ** _Paris, France_**  
 ** _Day 3 of 365_**

 _BGM: Empty (Too Brave To Be Hated) (Lee Aram)_  
 _“Miss Kolette, use your time wisely okay? You know that time waits for no one, right?”_  
There’s that voice again.  
“Wait...! Who are you?! What do you mean use my time wisely? What exactly happened to me? Please answer me!”  
I was speaking to the void of my inner thoughts again. Was I going crazy? Maybe I was.  
 _“Until you can leave the world without any regrets, live on Miss Kolette! Don’t keep on looking back anymore. But move forward!”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“What is that supposed to mean?! Hello?!”  
And then the voice disappeared again without a trace.

And I woke up. I woke up again.

“There’s a _number 3_ on my wrist this time...”  
The number tattooed on my wrist changed again. That’s when I knew. I was unconscious the whole day yesterday.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“It looks like my days are being numbered.”  
No matter how illogical the situation was, I couldn’t deny it any longer. I... I only had a number of days to live in this world. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I was saved by some saving grace from above without a consequence in return. It’s already a miracle that I survived after my accident. But I don’t know how long... how long was I going to stay alive?  
 _“Don’t you want to live a little longer and make things right before you actually leave this world, Miss Kolette?”_  
I could recall vividly what that voice inside my head had asked me for the first time.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“And make things right huh?”  
The accident’s memory was still a bit blurry in my memories.  
“Doctor Kolette, here’s the results of your MRI tests, CT scans, and PET scans.”  
I was on my wheelchair by the hospital halls when the nurse I was quite well acquainted with here in the hospital finally brought back the results of my ongoing medical tests.  
“Merci. I appreciate it. Kinda ironic that I’m the patient and I’m also the one who’s interpreting my text results too.”  
“Just like the saying goes that nobody knows us better than our own selves. Right, Doctor Kolette?”  
What a wise remark from someone as young as her. I smiled and nodded.  
“Yes. Exactly like that, nurse.”  
“Doctor Kolette, I’m really relieved to see you’re a bit better now. I was really worried too especially when you got brought into the ER the day before yesterday.”  
Yes, who would’ve thought too that I’d find myself being a patient and be involved in an accident altogether on the same day that just haunts me every year? Thanks a lot universe.  
“You and I both, nurse.”  
And then, the one voice that then echoed my hearing, the voice I thought I’d never get to hear again in this life, came running into the scene with a slightly agitated look in his _cinnamon brown eyes_.  
“K-Kolette...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Who would’ve thought too that the universe would bring the man named Min Yoongi back to my life again when I only had an unknown number of days to live?  
“I’m here, Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
As soon as his brown eyes caught my green ones, he then ran to my side and slightly raised his voice asking with a bit of annoyed tone in it,  
“D-Damn it. Why are you out here and not in your room? Just because you’re a doctor now doesn’t mean you can be a reckless person.”  
I just sighed at what he had to say and opened the brown envelopes that had my test results inside telling him,  
“Min Yoongi-ssi, you know you’re both giving a lecture not only to a patient, but also to a doctor? I’m not a little girl. If I feel stuffy inside my room, I’m going to get out and get some fresh air.”  
The atmosphere then turned tense and silent that the nurse could only say,  
“A-Ah well, I’ll excuse myself for now Doctor Kolette. I’m going back to the emergency room.”  
“Okay then. Merci. Go now before the head nurse finds you here.”  
I smiled at her and watched her exit the scene so quickly before I turned my attention back to the results in my hands.  
“Kolette-ssi... what are you even holding in your hands?”  
Yoongi asked me with a sighing voice, trying to hold in his frustration with my aloof responses.  
“They’re my test results, you didn’t think I would let another doctor interpret my condition, wouldn’t you?”  
And with just that straightforward reply, Yoongi kept his mouth shut next. I know I shouldn’t be treating the one man who had stayed by my side since this _July 9th_ with a cold shoulder, but... why do I keep getting this feeling that I shouldn’t keep him too close because _there’s no guarantee that this beginning was going to end up with a good ending?_

I could only watch Kolette in silence as she was reading her medical test results while sitting on the wheelchair. To be honest, I was really frantic the second I entered her room and she wasn’t there anymore. That’s why I came running to find her. And here she was. She looked a bit better with her rosy skin tone coming back. You wouldn’t even think that she was in an accident the day before yesterday, during _July 9th_ itself.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“Yoongi-yah, there’s something you should know.”_  
My brother’s words still had remained in my head since yesterday. Yet, I knew I couldn’t ask the person in question as of now. Not when she’s just right beside me and it wasn’t the proper time.

 _BGM: Faded Love (Wonder Girls)_  
 _A little bit later,_  
“...”  
I was in a daze. After I had read my results, you would expect me to be ecstatic since every single one of them came out with positive remarks and I could be discharged even by tomorrow. But of course I was the only one who knew everything. Why I and my body were recovering so quickly. Why I didn’t suffer any serious brain injury or even minor injuries with my bones & muscles even after I heard from Yoongi that the nurse told him I was suffering from a concussion. Why I was still here in one piece. Why I was still breathing. **That’s because I was more of a time bomb now**. A time bomb with no expected due date or time when I’m going to explode.  
“Doctor Kolette?”  
“?”  
Snapping out of my daze, I completely forgot that there was an attending nurse checking on my vitals and a fellow doctor colleague of mine who came to my room at that moment.  
“Her vitals are all in normal levels and range, doc.”  
“That’s good then. I’ve seen your CT scan, MRI tests, and PET scans too Doc Kolette. It must be good to be young and to recover this speedily huh? It’s such a miracle like normal people would say?”  
A miracle? If they only knew. If they only knew how nonsensical my situation was. There was no way in hell that somebody would even believe me if I tell them. Not even the man who was just watching me from a distance while he was busy scrolling along through his phone in silence.

“Doc Kolette, I know you’re still recovering and all but let me just tell you that one of my patients suffered from...”  
The rambling doctor went on with his blather that even though Kolette was listening physically, I could tell from those green eyes of hers that mentally she had him blocked from her hearing already. Yet, aside from her trying to ignore her colleague, she had a puzzled expression written all over her face. Was she unhappy knowing she was fine after her accident? A normal person would’ve felt in bliss by the news of the test results. But... this is Kolette we’re talking about.  
“Even now, **I can’t read your mind so simply** , doctor noona.”  
I told myself in a small whisper.  
“Oh, by the way, Doc Kolette, who’s the monsieur over there?”  
And before I knew it, I was the next target that made the rambling doctor curious as all eyes in the room were on me on cue. Kolette and I then locked gazed at each other.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Well shit. What should I say?  
“Um, right. Well I’m...”  
However when I was about to think of an alibi, Kolette quickly beats me to it. And not to mention, the next thing that came out of her mouth made everyone in the room stunned, including me.

“He’s someone important to me. Don’t worry.”  
That was the only thing I could say at the spur of the moment. I didn’t want to tell them Yoongi’s name because why should I? That’s personal information. Second, why in the world would I even tell them,  
 _“Oh, he’s my ex-boyfriend from college. He just happened to be here in Paris the day I got into a car accident.”_  
Now wouldn’t that be even more strange would you think?  
“Oh. I see then.”  
“I’ll beep for the nurse’s station if I need something. I want to rest for now. And yes, I’d also like to be discharged by tomorrow. I don’t see the need to stay here when there are other patients who need this room more than I do.”  
And on cue finally, my colleague and the nurse left the room in silence, leaving Yoongi and I alone once again.  
“Kolette-ssi...”  
“Not one word, Min Yoongi-ssi. I’m going to take a nap for now.”  
And before Yoongi could curiously bring up what I said just now, I escaped just in time and covered myself with the hospital bed’s blanket.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“He’s someone important to me. Don’t worry.”_  
I appreciate her butting in at perfect timing but why... why would she say something like that? Isn’t it enough that I came here to see her after the accident and even until she woke up? How... how am I supposed to stop involving myself further with her if she says something like that?  
“Kolette really...”  
As I was about to ask her the reason for her words, Kolette shrewdly avoided our conversation by using her patient alibi instead of being a doctor at the moment. Taking a deep breath in and out, I had to exit her room next to gather up my thoughts.

And with that, it seemed like Kolette was on the up side of the _seesaw_ this time. Even if I was on the bottom side, why did it feel like us finding each other after all this time... made things just as harder to leave again?

***  
 ** _Summer of 2016:_**  
 ** _Paris, France_**  
 ** _Day 4 of 365_**

 _BGM: MISSING U (LEE HI)_  
“Congratulations on your discharge Doctor Kolette!”  
“Come back to work again soon. D'accord?”  
It’s been three days since the accident and Kolette had decided to be discharged since all of her medical test results came clean and she was doing well now in spite of her almost critical condition during that _July 9th_. Her friends from the hospital were seeing her off while I was just watching them from a distance.

“I will. Hopefully I’ll be back by next week. I didn’t think I’d use my earned vacation credits because of this too.”  
“Oh please. At least get yourself some real and proper rest. You may look fine but obviously you need time for yourself.”  
“Speaking of time for yourself, who’s the fine looking gentleman standing there waiting for you? He hasn’t left your side since the accident too.”  
I could only roll my eyes at where the conversation was leading on. I just thanked them for the basket of fruits they gave me saying,  
“That’s classified information. I’ll get going then. Call me if anything happens and you need help.”  
“Jeez. Why are you so good in dodging the conversation huh?”  
“Will do, Doctor Kolette! See you soon!”  
After my colleagues left me to go back to their own stations, I walked to where Yoongi was waiting and said,  
“Hope you didn’t stand here for too long, Min Yoongi-ssi. Where should I drop you off?”  
“You have a car then?”  
One of my eyebrows could only arch up at the weird question.  
“Yes...? Why does that surprise you? And aren’t you going to ask why I have a spare car since you know... the other one got in an accident?”  
“No. I think that’s better. And no, I’m not going to ask because I doubt you’re going to tell me anyway. Give me your car keys.”  
Okay, where was this conversation going now?  
“Um, and why should I?”  
As his cinnamon brown eyes gazed at me seriously, he then just said so nonchalantly,  
“Because I’m driving you back to your place. Isn’t that obvious?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi-ssi...”  
The two of us could only stare dumbfounded at each other while a breeze passed by us under the summer sky of 2016.

“I wouldn’t expect for someone else to be driving my other car instead of me right now.”  
“I have my driver’s license. Don’t worry about it, I’m going to get you to your place in one piece.”  
Kolette wasn’t kidding. This car looked like it hadn’t been used for a long while, it somehow still smells brand new.  
“Why am I getting this weird feeling that you have two cars because you knew the other one was going to be...”  
“In an accident? I may be smart Min Yoongi-ssi, but I’m not psychic. How I wish... I was now though.”  
Her last sentence caught me off guard a bit. That wasn’t her usual logical reasoning, I know. Was there something more to what she had just said? I could only glance at Kolette who then looked dismally by the car’s windows after she glanced again at her wrist.  
 _“It... It couldn’t be...”_  
 _“I’m not psychic. How I wish... I was now though.”_  
Kolette’s been queerly doing that ever since she woke up for the first time after she got into that accident. And even now inside the car. If only I was psychic too, I would know exactly what’s going through those deep thoughts of hers.

**  
 _At Kolette’s apartment:_  
 _Paris, France_

“H-Hey Kolette...! Why are you running so fast...!”  
“That’s because my baby might already be waiting badly for me...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
H-Her baby? What the hell is that supposed to mean? D-Don’t tell me...  
“Y-Your baby?”  
As soon as she opened the door to her apartment, she then yelled out an unfamiliar name,  
“Holly baby...! M-Mama’s home...!”  
It couldn’t be... within these four years we’ve been apart... did she really?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette-ssi, don’t tell me you...”  
“Arf...! Arf...!”  
Yet when my thoughts were starting to go crazy, I could only blink when a _brown fluffy silhouette_ then came running to the front door and jumped in Kolette’s arms.  
“...”  
“Hi there boy... yes, yes, I missed you too so much... I’m sorry if I haven’t been home for days and left you all alone...”  
As she then carried the small, brown puppy in her arms, Kolette faced me while I was still processing what had just happened.  
“Min Yoongi-ssi? Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost just now? You look paler than usual?”  
Massaging my temples, I could only say,  
“S-Shit. And here I thought that the baby you were talking about was a...”

 _*thump* *thump*_  
Well shit. I may have given a wrong impression just now. I forgot that we weren’t part of each other’s lives for four years. So of course he’d have the wrong idea when I mentioned ‘ _baby_ ’ and I wasn’t dumb to understand why he reacted like that just now too.  
“A-Ah no...! I’m sorry for using the wrong term. The baby I was talking about is this adorable one here.”  
“A-Ah, I see... that’s good to know.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Good to know? What did he even mean? Okay, I shouldn’t overthink his words right now. Please not now heart of mine.  
“Arf...! Arf...!”  
“A-Ah right, this is **Holly**. My almost two year old, toy poodle puppy.”  
“O-Oh, she’s a cute one, Kolette-ssi.”  
The minute Yoongi mentioned ‘ _she_ ’ Holly then barked in discontent as I then corrected on cue,  
“Yoongi-ssi, Holly is a baby boy...”

 _Later around past lunch time:_  
While I was taking a call from Seoul on my phone, I was surprised when Kolette then grabbed her car keys again and was about to head out for the door.  
“Kolette-ssi, where are you going?”  
“Hmm? To the supermarket obviously? I don’t have any food here and it’s past lunch time too? Do you have anything you want?”  
I then excused myself from my phone call and hanged up telling her next,  
“I’m coming with you.”  
She raised her eyebrows at me while crossing her arms saying,  
“I can get grocery’s by myself Min Yoongi-ssi? I may have just gotten out of the hospital but it doesn’t mean I need someone constantly babying me.”  
“And it doesn’t mean that even if you got out of the hospital, you can pretend you’re up and alright already.”  
Kolette could only look at me in disbelief of what I had to say for a few more minutes before she raised both of her hands saying,  
“Fine. I don’t need another lecture. Let’s go.”

 _BGM: Don’t love me (Hyolyn)_  
 _A little while later,_  
“What takeout should be good today?”  
“No. I’ll cook some dishes for you.”  
We were walking around the supermarket together. It was a weird feeling. It didn’t feel like four years we haven’t seen each other. The old me wouldn’t have imagined something like this happening. But now... I didn’t seem to mind it. Maybe because if it meant erasing less of my regrets in this life, I don’t mind at all.  
“Well isn’t that noble of you then, Min Yoongi-ssi. Are you pitying me?”  
Grabbing some raw vegetables and placing them on the grocery cart, he just stared at me seriously and momentarily before saying with a sigh,  
“Take it as whatever you think, Kolette-ssi. We may have been out of one another’s lives for the past four years, but it doesn’t erase the fact you and I were together those years before. Or was I the only one who thought of that?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
There it was again. That prickling twinge in my chest. And before I knew it, it was Yoongi again who was on the up side of the _seesaw_.

 _“Are you pitying me?”  
*thump* *thump*_  
Nothing discouraged me more than Kolette’s words. Did she really think I would do all of this just because I pity her? I don’t know the true reason myself why I’m still by her side when she’s already up and about. But it just felt like... if I walk out now, it will truly feel like I’m walking out of the side door and out of Kolette’s life. _Forever_. I was confused of my real intentions. That’s why I said those words to her.  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just... why do I feel like I’m the only one who’s muddled of our situation?”  
Well... it looks like I wasn’t the only one who felt that way after all.  
“I guess the feeling’s mutual then, Doc Kolette.”  
“Yoongi-ssi...”  
Pushing the cart forward, I just told Kolette,  
“If you want me to leave, just say the word. I only have a week left here in Paris anyway.”

After finishing up at the supermarket, we also picked up takeout coffee before heading back to my apartment. The whole car ride home was mostly silent ever since our conversation at the grocery.  
“Do you want any help in preparing?”  
“No, it’s okay. Just relax there with your puppy.”  
It’s been a long while since I saw someone else stand by my apartment’s kitchen. And it had to be that one man himself. It was hard. It was so fucking hard to have him so near but I want to pull myself away from him because I can’t let feelings be involved. Especially when I was the only one who could see the number tattooed on my wrist.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ **I’d rather break your heart now than break it in the end all over again... repeating it like a darn seesaw, genius-ssi...** ”  
I whispered to myself before I stood up from the sofa and headed out towards my apartment’s small balcony to get some fresh air as I could feel my dry tears looming already.

I was still in the kitchen, preparing our late lunch when out of the blue,  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“Hmm?”  
A familiar fluffy brown creature then came walking towards me while carrying something in its mouth.  
“What you got there, little boy?”  
“Arf!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-This is...”  
My eyes started shaking at what Kolette’s little puppy then brought to me. It still shined so much even after all these years. The _nostalgic gold medal_.  
“Arf! Arf!”  
 _“I’ll keep it safe then, genius-ssi.”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-And here I thought you’d already hidden it or even threw it away, doctor noona. Thanks, thanks for showing this to me Holly-ssi...”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
Her little puppy just barked happily as I rubbed him playfully on his head in thanks. He might have brought the medal to me since dogs are very sensitive to smell and my scent may still be on it, no matter how faint or little of it was left. I just held and stared at the familiar medal in my hand for a few more moments before I placed it on the counter and went back to my cooking.  
“Looks like no one really had left the _seesaw_ these four years huh, Kolette...”  
I told myself while grabbing a familiar shining _silver necklace_ I hid in my pants’ pocket. It shined just as new like the medal on the table. Was this the likely sign of a second chance from the universe? I was left even more confused than I already was. More than that _July 9th_ a few days ago.  
*thump* *thump*  
 _“Yoongi-yah, there’s a letter that arrived for you here in Seoul. And it’s from... Kolette-ssi.”_

 _BGM: Tonight (Punch)_  
After our late lunch which almost seemed like an afternoon snack, Yoongi then asked while I was washing the dishes,  
“Have you told your mother about the accident?”  
“No. I’d just worry her instead if I told her.”  
I heard him sigh of my answer and say,  
“Kolette-ssi... she deserves to know. Weren’t you the one who told me before that **we should show and tell the people we care about how much we care about them before it’s all too late?** ”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Not those words. The very words that mean so ironically to me now in my situation. How am I supposed to tell my own mother that even though I survived an accident, my days are numbered and I don’t know when I’ll leave this world for real? Unknowingly, I just snapped back at him,  
“What I say to and keep from my mother is none of your business, Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
The whole room then turned eerily quiet in an instant. And then, Yoongi just replied,  
“Right. I forgot that we’re just a part of each other’s pasts, Doc Kolette. That’s all. I’m sorry.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yoongi-ssi,”  
Before I could even react, Yoongi then headed out for the door without a word. As I heard the door close after turning off the faucet, that’s when I knew. I managed to break the heart of the one person who’d been by my side again. Just like I had wanted ever since I had the realization of my counted days, yet... why did it hurt so much?  
“I’m... sorry... I’m so sorry Yoongi...”  
I just fell to my knees and cried like a damn fool.

After I walked out of Kolette’s apartment, I just wanted to be alone. I was only human. And I was human enough to feel hurt by that one woman’s words. I know that our relationship is a bit weird now especially after everything that occurred in the past days. But... but why was she pushing me away from her even though we were both on the _seesaw_? It just didn’t make sense.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“And I guess love doesn’t make shit sense at all no matter what...”  
I just walked along the streets of Paris with my hands in my pocket that happened to touch that _silver pendant_ , and headed for no particular destination in mind.

 _“Is this really what you want Miss Kolette?”_  
Why does this mysterious voice only come out whenever I’m sleeping with a heavy heart? Damn it.  
“Please just leave me alone already?! Who are you to even tell me if this is what I want or not?!”  
 _“You have no idea when your time is going to be up, so you better stop pushing away the very person you’ve called out for the last time. Don’t you think so? Don’t you want to erase your regrets about you and him?”_  
As much as I was getting pissed at the voice inside my head, I couldn’t easily let it out since... since the voice was right. It was always right. When I was lying almost unconscious on the cold, hard ground that _July 9th_ , Yoongi’s name was the last thing I could mention. And that meant, he was my only regret that still tied me to this world.  
“Then what?! If I let him in my life again, I’m only going to leave in the end! What’s even the point of that?!”  
 _“That’s up to you, Miss Kolette. Because also in the end, you’re the only one who can erase your own regrets in this life and move on peacefully to the other life. And so can the other party involved move on with his own life as well.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*  
“I will get lost, so you can go on your own way doctor noona.”_  
You’re the only one who can erase your own regrets in this life huh? It then dawned on me. **The truth**. The truth over these past four years. Why I never had the guts to throw away that gold medal. Why _July 9th_ still haunted me every year. Why I had to push him away even if it meant making him despise me when the universe brought us back together.  
“I’m... I’m **still undoubtedly, unquestionably, completely in love with the man named Min Yoongi**.”

And just with that, at the last minute realization, I awoke. I awoke with tears cascading down my cheeks.

Glancing at the window and seeing the dusk sky turn to evening already, I hurriedly stood up from the sofa and grabbed the car keys plus my phone and wallet before running straight out of my apartment’s doors.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m tired of regretting already... Y-Yoongi...!”

***  
 _ **Tuileries Garden  
Paris, France**_

 _BGM: Week (CHUNG HA)_  
I was sitting by the folded chairs near the fountain of a very nostalgic place in my memories.  
 _“Yoongi, come here...!”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“I really like making myself miserable that I even came here.”  
It was no other than the garden where Kolette and I had been before. A distant _July 9th_ in our lives. It was already evening before I knew it. The summer breeze was comforting along with the sounds of the water flowing from the fountain. I then dangled the silver necklace on my right hand in front of my gaze.  
“Should I just throw you to the fountain?”  
Yet no matter how much my mind wanted to just throw it away, my body of course wouldn’t listen to me. Because my heart felt more connected to my body.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Shit. W-What am I even doing? I might be going insane.”  
Here I was talking nonsensical to myself with a few paltry laughs in between.

And then, her voice then echoed.  
“Y-Yoongi-ssi...!”  
Was I starting to hear things now too? When I glanced back, my whole body and senses went numb at the very figure who was running towards me. The figure with the _red brown hair and green eyes_ herself.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette-ssi?”  
As she finally stood a short distance from right where I was, I could tell from her hoarse breathings and pantings that she ran heavily. Was she crazy?!  
“H-Hey... did you just run all the way here?! You just got out of the hospital _pabo_! Do you want to collapse again?!”  
The moment my brown eyes met her green ones, as if it’s just the way nature goes, Kolette then smiled at me. The smile that spelt her genuineness. _The smile that got my heart thumping inescapably_. She smiled at me for the first time in years.  
“Y-Yes, I came running. I didn’t want to end this night in regret.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette-ssi...”

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Still trying to catch my breath, this was the first time I did something so reckless after I’d became a doctor. Exerting too much of my strength after being released from the hospital. I was literally acting unlike myself. But... but I just didn’t care anymore.  
“H-How did you even find me here?”  
He asked me on cue. With a smile, I just told him,  
“How could I not...? How could I forget a big place that held a big memory of us back then?”  
Yoongi’s cinnamon brown eyes stared at me in disbelief.  
“Funny how you’re using the phrase ‘ _memory of us_ ’ when you’ve been denying that for days now.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
The _seesaw_ was in the middle once again. We both were in the stalemate again. Closing my eyes, I just remembered what the voice inside my head had said before I told Yoongi once and for all,  
 _“And so can the other party involved move on with his own life as well.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m tired of running away, Yoongi-ssi. I don’t want to regret anymore.”  
“What are you trying to say, Kolette-ssi?”  
With my new found resolution, I stared at the number four tattooed on my wrist before I pulled out the _medal_ from my dress’ pocket saying to one man,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m going back to Seoul, Yoongi.”

If I wanted to erase my regrets, I had to go back. **Back to the very place where everything had started and should end**.

 _“I’m going back to Seoul, Yoongi.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
As I gazed at Kolette’s resolute looking green eyes, that was the very moment. The very moment I told myself once again, there was no way in damn hell I’m going to let the universe separate us unlike before.

Nevertheless, this was just only part of the introduction to the ending we were both going to resent. _Endlessly_.

***  
 _ **Summer of 2016:  
Seoul, South Korea  
Day 20 of 365**_

_BGM: Love Letter (LOONA)_

> _Dear Min Yoongi-ssi,_   
>  _How are you?_
> 
> _Okay... that sounded way too stiff. This is my first time writing a letter, so forgive me if my words don’t come out as eloquent as the way you do it._
> 
> _I heard from Areum that you got awarded or recognized for a song that you produced yourself. And it was no other than the song you played for me that very autumn itself in the past. I wouldn’t expect less from you, music genius-ssi. Congratulations really. It makes me delighted to know that you’re doing so well in your new found dream which came true._
> 
> _And... I don’t want to hide it through this letter but I know. I know that you’ve been asking about how I was from Areum. She doesn’t hide anything from me, even news about you._
> 
> _So to answer, I’m doing well too. I work in Paris now. Yes, the very city that held the most unforgettable summer memories for me. I’d be lying if I told you that every time I pass by the places we’ve been to before, I didn’t think of you. Kinda ironic that memories can hold so much joy and ache altogether._
> 
> _It’ll be past July 9th already by the time you receive this letter, but I hope wherever you are by the time you read this letter, my first and probably my last letter to you, I hope it’s nice where you are, genius-ssi._
> 
> _There’s this song I listened to years back and the lyrics... the lyrics reminded me so much of you, Yoongi._   
>  _“And I hope the sun shines_   
>  _And it's a beautiful day_   
>  _And something reminds you_   
>  _You wish you had stayed_   
>  _You can plan for a change in weather and time_   
>  _But I never planned on you changing your mind...”_
> 
> _Take care always, my once homeland, Min Yoongi._
> 
> _From the one person who couldn’t forget about you every July 9th. The one person who’s still stuck at the seesaw._   
>  _Your once crown, Kolette._
> 
> _P.S: here are postcards I brought from all the countries I’ve been to ever since I became a doctor. I just couldn’t help myself from sending them to you._   
>  _Up to you whether to keep them or not._

_*music box sounds*_  
There were about 9 postcards in total she attached to the letter. It felt unreal the first time I read the letter from Kolette herself. It’s been about a week already since I came back from Paris.  
 _*thump* *thump*  
“I’m going back to Seoul.”_  
Those words were more than enough to leave me in a long daze as the sound of the music box’s song drowned me in nostalgia.  
“Kolette... really... what are you trying to do...?”  
She didn’t make it easy to read her words and actions ever since she woke up from her accident. More so, even behind the sharp words from that one woman’s mouth, were a pair of sad green eyes. It was like _she’s trying so hard to mask something_ and I couldn’t just ask her so easily unlike before.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“The timing of this letter too is really funny...”  
While I was too deep in my own thoughts again, a knock from my studio’s door then brought me back to reality.  
 _*knock* *knock*_  
“Min PD-nim, are you there?”  
“Yeah, I’m in here.”  
A familiar smiling figure then entered my safe haven here at the work building. It was no other than one of the agency’s artists. The same one who had asked me about the song called _Seesaw_ years ago.  
“Oh? I thought you weren’t supposed to be working today? Why are you here PD-nim?”  
On cue he then spots the music box I was holding firmly in my hands saying,  
“Isn’t that music box always the one you’re playing whenever you’re alone?”  
What a perceptive man he is. I had no choice but to say,  
“You’re so observant, you know that? Even back then when you asked me about the song called _Seesaw_ too.”  
“It’s pretty obvious it’s about an important woman in your life, Min PD-nim. There’s no use in denying that.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My eyes couldn’t help but turn a bit wide because of his reply.  
“Is that so huh...”  
“From the song itself, nobody could write and compose something as **melodious, but had the most heartsick kind of lyrics** wrapped up together, unless you experience that feeling for yourself.”  
A slight throb then took over my chest. It wasn’t because I was surprised, it was more of an epiphany that nothing came as natural with me when it came to music, especially if the reason for those notes and melodies were about her. About her alone.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re really starting to frighten me with your scarily accurate words.”  
“We only live once, Min-PD. **If you can’t forget someone special to you, that means you still have so much to say and show that person**. There are no foolproof signs when it comes to love.”  
 _“Yoongi, I’m tired... I’m tired of regretting. That’s why, I’m going back to the place where everything started.”_  
Remembering Kolette’s voice, I just smiled and told the young man in front of me,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you, Yeonjun-ah. You’re so wise even when you’re years younger than I am.”

_Around two hours later:  
Incheon International Airport_

_*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
I was standing by the arrivals area at the airport. **Simply being at an airport brought forth a lot of regretful memories**.  
 _“Shit. H-How am I supposed to tell Kolette this...”  
“We have nothing more to say to each other, Min Yoongi-ssi.”_  
That’s why being in airports for too long leaves me feeling weary. Every single time. But right now, as I was standing here waiting for someone, I don’t know if my heart was beating in acceleration because of nervousness or in hope, or a mix of both.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I hope her flight didn’t get delayed.”  
Checking my watch, it was just a matter of time. A matter of time until I’ll find that familiar silhouette with the red brown hair and green eyes.

Four long years since I left. And here I was now. Back to the very place that held the most meaningful and most excruciating memoirs of my life.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m really back in Seoul again?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
My lips didn’t hesitate to turn into a smile seeing the quite excited look in Holly’s eyes as he peeked with wide eyes from the bag where he was in. Who would’ve thought huh? Who would’ve thought I’d come back here not knowing how much time I have left and completely leaving behind what my previous life was in Paris. It felt like I came home just to leave all over again, but this time... I wasn’t sure when I was going to leave for good.  
 _Areum: I can’t believe you would just come back to Seoul so abruptly while quitting your job at Paris! Something is definitely up! You better have a great explanation pabo! Especially about you and Min Yoongi meeting again...!_  
Really. Could her text get even longer? Putting my phone away, I just continued to drag my trolley as the rest of the passengers and I exited through the arrival areas. I was prepared to rent a car to use as my transportation, but then... I could only pause. I paused the very second I found those pair of _cinnamon brown eyes with the black hair_ finding my gaze in an instant.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-He really came huh... you... you really came Min Yoongi-ssi...”

 _Kolette: I’m coming back to Seoul today._  
That was the only message I got from Kolette since I had left Paris a week ago. Yet, those simple words carried so much meaning.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
And as soon as the arrivals’ doors slid open, there she was. There Kolette was. She was dressed in a _cotton, long sleeved white button down shirt, paired with those black leather pants of hers and the brown heeled boots_. I would be completely lying if I didn’t find myself feeling dazed over her. It was like at that very point, **this scene existed to rewrite that painful memory of us not meeting because of an airport**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“And look at where we are now too meeting like this at an airport, huh doctor noona?”  
I just whispered to myself as soon as our eyes locked for a few more minutes before she walked up to where I was.

 _BGM: Beautiful Disaster (AILEE)_  
“Thank you for picking us up, Yoongi-ssi.”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
We were in Yoongi’s car as he offered to drive me and Holly to where we’ll be staying.  
“It’s okay. It’s the least I can do since you drove for me too back when I was in Paris.”  
It surely was an unforeseen situation to be sitting in a car with the person driving it being the same person who’s the reason for all of my regrets and why I still held on to this life.  
“If you want to tell me something Doc Kolette, feel free to do so instead of staring at me in silence.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And of course, why did I have to be so obvious about it? Damn it.  
“Honestly, I don’t have any proper words to say right now. You, being on the driver’s seat. You having your own car now too. Me being here in Seoul again after these years.”  
“Don’t have any proper words to say huh? That’s already a lot of proper words, Kolette-ssi.”  
Right. And I thought I was the smart mouth. Guess some things do change in the most bizarre ways, my mind pointed out. I just stared at my wrist again with the number _20_ on it and said something that should’ve been kept inside my head instead.

“It’s kind of strange right... we couldn’t meet those years ago because of the airport and now... we find ourselves seeing each other at the airport. **The universe does like toying around with meetings and separation** , doesn’t it...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Kolette’s words just now. Was she talking to herself? Was she saying it to me? Or overall... was she telling that to the both of us?  
“I guess... that’s just how the law of the universe goes, Kolette-ssi.”  
When we stopped at a stoplight, I glanced at Kolette’s side profile who just stared once again at her wrist before she focused her gaze towards the view outside of the car’s window.  
“Kolette-ssi,”  
“?”  
As I mentioned her name, she then looked at me. I have lost count how many times those green have left me jumbled, whether in real life or in my dreams, but presently... I had to say to her, the very words I couldn’t say in the past.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette-ssi, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I didn’t keep due of my promise to meet you at that garden back then.”

I was flabbergasted. Why... why did he make it so damn hard to not make me and my beating heart tremble? Why... why was he so good at words? Why... why are you making me feel things all over again, Min Yoongi?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Min Yoongi-ssi...”  
“I know it’s late, but you were always the one who told me that **it’s better to say things now than regret them later.** ”  
 _Regret_. The one word that made me see you again. The one word that still left me alive. The one word that brought me back to you at the _seesaw_. I don’t know if I should feel a strong love or hate for that one word.  
“It’s okay. Bury the hatchet as we all would say. But...”  
“But...?”  
As the stoplight turned green, I just told him as my green eyes couldn’t stir away from his cinnamon brown ones,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Thank you. Thank you for telling me even now. I’m sorry too if I made you feel like you were the only one who did wrong. At least, we both can erase that regret already. Right, genius-ssi...?”  
The moment I mentioned that nickname I haven’t said in years, Yoongi continued to drive through the streets with a small smile on his lips replying,  
“Yeah, I’d like that too doctor noona.”

Just him calling me that simple nickname I haven’t heard in years as well, it made my whole heart and the remainder of my soul quiver. I had to stop the tears from forming around my eyes.

And to me, I didn’t mind it if this would be _the_ _last time_.

**  
 _A little while later:_

“K-Kolette...!”  
“A-Areum-ssi...!”  
We arrived at Areum’s apartment complex. She offered to let me stay at her place while I’ll look for my own this week. The two of us hugged like best friends who haven’t seen each other in years. Literally.  
“I missed you, really.”  
“ _Pabo_! Don’t go all emotional on me now...!”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
Areum then squealed excitingly the minute Holly peeked out of my bag and looked at her with curious wide eyes.  
“Oh my god. So this is the precious little Holly I’ve been hearing about all the time? Hi there boy...! You’re so adorable!”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
After our long hug and her short play time with Holly, she then whispered to me on cue,  
“To think that not only I’d get to see you after four years, but also I’d see you with no other than Min Yoongi again after four years...?”  
If only she knew.  
“Okay, drop it. Now’s not the time to tell you the whole long ass story.”  
“Fine. Oh! It’s been a long while, hasn’t it Min Yoongi-ssi?”  
She then waved and greeted Yoongi with a grinning smile as the latter was unloading my luggage from his car.  
“It sure has been, Areum-ssi. Who would’ve thought?”  
“I know right. Who would’ve thought too that you and Kolette would find each other in Paris of all places again huh?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
There goes my best friend’s big mouth again.  
“H-Hey Areum-ssi...!”  
However, I was a bit surprised of Yoongi’s reaction. He just let out a small chuckle while dragging my trolley towards me.  
“Exactly like that. The universe is really something else. Here are your things, doctor noona.”  
“T-Thank you, genius-ssi.”  
Areum then eyed me suspiciously the second she heard the familiar way Yoongi and I were calling each other. Sheesh, stop acting like a perturbed little girl, Kolette.  
“Okay then... when you two are finished looking cutely at each other, I have a bit of bad news.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Uh oh. I didn’t like where this was going, especially when my best friend’s tone then suddenly shifted.  
“What bad news, Areum-ssi?”  
With a sigh, she then stared at the little fluffy puppy peeking out of my bag and said with her arms crossed,  
“The landlord here sadly doesn’t allow pets, Kolette-ssi. Not even the cutest ones like you, Holly boy.”  
“Arf? Arf?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What...?”  
What am I supposed to do now? I can’t leave Holly at some kind of daycare pet center and I don’t have any relatives here in Seoul. I could only rub his head in confusion.  
“But I do have a suggestion.”  
“A suggestion?”  
Areum nodded. I didn’t even realize the real meaning behind the fishy smirk she had on her lips. She then didn’t hesitate to say,  
“Yep. How about you let baby Holly be taken care of by the kindhearted man standing behind you?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
S-She didn’t just mean?!

I could only blink in disbelief of what I had just heard. I knew the minute her best friend’s face had a suspicious smile, she had something up her sleeve. But I wouldn’t even think that the suggestion she’d say was this one.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
“I’m just suggesting that baby Holly will stay with Min Yoongi-ssi in the meantime while you look for your own place here in Seoul. And for a fact too, Yoongi-ssi has his own apartment now. So, not a bad idea right?”  
Kolette then looked at me with a concerned expression.  
“Yoongi-ssi... this isn’t going to be easy to even say... will you... will you please take care of Holly for me? Just until I have my own place soon...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Shit. How am I supposed to say no when she’s looking straight at me with those ever persuasive green eyes of hers? And it didn’t damn help too that her little puppy’s brown eyes were also staring steadily at me? Her best friend is the biggest sneak, I should say.  
“Okay. Fine. But only until you get settled in your new place soon.”  
“Thank you, Min Yoongi-ssi...! Did you hear that then boy? Yoongi-ssi is going to look after you!”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
Good thing I was a dog person. As Kolette hugged Holly in her arms happily, Areum then walked up to me and said in a whisper,  
“Kolette’s still your biggest vulnerability even now huh? But... I do hope things will end up better for you two this time around. Consider this a little favor from me.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Areum-ssi...”  
“Don’t screw this up again, Min Yoongi-ssi. I just want my best friend to be happy. Once and for all.”  
She just patted me on the shoulder with a smile before she went back to Kolette’s side saying next with a satisfied clap,  
“Okay! I guess everything’s settled then.”

When I then caught Kolette’s gaze again, she just smiled elatedly at me behind those green eyes. And that was the only sign I needed to be reminded of. To remind me that she still was worth it all. _Kolette was still worth it all_.

However, I wouldn’t have fathomed the real reason why the universe was drifting me and my heart back to one woman herself.

_It was just a preparation for what was about to happen in the near future._

**  
 _Later that same evening:  
BGM: Behind The Mask (TWICE)_

“And I guess that’s everything.”  
“K-Kolette...”  
As Yoongi left with Holly a few hours ago, Areum helped me settle down at her place before we ordered takeout online and had a couple of _soju_ bottles altogether after dinner. I told her everything. About what happened at Paris. About quitting my job at Paris. About my accident. About Yoongi being the first person who’d been by my side when I woke up. Of course, I didn’t tell her _the one exception_. About me only being alive for an unknown number of days, or months, or years.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Areum-ssi, do you... do you see something on my wrist right now?”  
I then showed her my right hand’s wrist. She just stared at me nervously and in bewilderment.  
“N-Not really? What are you trying to say, Kolette?”  
Even if she was my best friend, I knew. I knew when she told me she couldn’t see the number tattooed on my wrist, there was no way she would believe me even if I told her I didn’t survive completely. And that I was only here just to erase all of my regrets with Yoongi before I move on. _Permanently_. **I hid behind a mask that only I could take off**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“No. It’s nothing of importance. I just want to say thank you for everything Areum-ssi.”  
“ _P-Pabo_... why are you making me emotional again?! Come here! I’m... I’m just so relieved that you’re fine even after your accident...”  
She just embraced me again in her arms. Nothing really beats the warmth of another person. I don’t regret having a best friend like Areum in my life. And that was a fact.  
“Kolette... I know you. I know you wouldn’t move all the way from Paris back here to Seoul without a real reason. I know that you and Yoongi-ssi weren’t brought back to each other’s lives for a simple coincidence. I know... I know in all the four years without each other, **he’s still the most important person to you**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
As the alcohol was getting to me, my tears on cue cascaded down as I hugged her tightly.  
“I... I’m scared. I’m scared because my heart is starting to come back to him. The feelings... it just comes back so easily ever since he came back, Areum-ssi...”  
Areum patted me on my shaking back while telling me,  
“Kolette... what’s there to be scared about...? If you two still feel the same way about each other... why are you scared?”  
How do I tell her that I’m not scared of having feelings for Yoongi all over again, but... I was scared that because of these damn feelings, it still doesn’t remove the fact that I can’t be by his side for the longest time soon? How I’m going to leave Yoongi again and this time, it’ll be constant. _Forever_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“For the first time, I’m just terrified of what the universe has in store for him and I... that’s all.”  
I let the rest of my tears pour down as we now could hear the sound of the echoing raindrops drizzling on the rooftop.

 _Meanwhile, around the same time at Yoongi’s apartment:_  
“Here. Eat up, boy.”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
As I was watching the brown puppy eat energetically from the dish bowl, I just looked at the last text message on my phone from more than an hour ago.  
 _Kolette: If you have anything to ask about Holly, I’ll keep my phone close to me at all times. For you. Thank you for today, Min Yoongi-ssi._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“For you...”  
 _“I’ll be there for you. For you, Yoongi-ssi.”_  
I just clenched my phone close to my throbbing chest. Before I knew it, I found myself walking straight towards the piano and started playing. It’s been a long while since I’ve had this kind of emotions piling up inside me.  
 _*piano sounds*_  
It’s been a long while since I’ve played the piano without any inner resentment. It reminded me of that day. That day at the _Seoul Arts Center_. When she was there, right by the very front row.  
“Arf! Arf!”  
And then a familiar barking then echoed my hearing as soon as I was done with my piano playing. Holly was wagging his tail freely towards me while carrying a _silver necklace_ in his mouth.  
“H-Holly-ssi...”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
First it was the medal he showed to me back in Paris. And now... it was the silver necklace I had placed by the coffee table in the living room. I wonder if he was just as smart as his owner. It was obvious he knew that the necklace belonged to no other else than Kolette herself, and might have traces of her scent left.  
“Are you... are you trying to tell me to give the necklace back to its real owner, Holly-ssi?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
As if he understood what I was trying to ask, Holly nodded and barked again in reply. I can’t believe I’m taking advice from a puppy now. But he might be right. _The necklace only had one owner,_ whether it’s back then and even presently. Ruffling Holly’s fluffy head, my lips just formed to a smile while stroking gently the silver necklace in my right hand.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“If you say so then, boy. I’ll give this back to her once she finally takes you back. I promise.”

If Holly was the bridge that could keep me close to Kolette’s side, I don’t mind this strange connection. _I have no plan of hiding behind the mask that I don’t care about Kolette any longer_.

Because she still was, and she will always be, the very person I refuse to let go all over again. Whether by the _seesaw_ or in this life.

***  
 _A week later:  
Day 27 of 365  
BGM: I Choose To Love You (Hyolyn)_

It’s been a week already since Kolette came back to Seoul. She was pretty busy the whole week with juggling her hop for a new apartment and her setting up the medical clinic she had decided to organize all by herself. And today was going to be the first day of her clinic’s operation. I just glanced at the bouquet of _iris flowers_ on the passenger seat and the peacefully sleeping puppy on the backseat before I continued driving.  
 _Kolette: the clinic opens around before noon. See you soon with Holly, Yoongi-ssi._  
That was the only message that then popped up in my phone’s screen.

“Doc Kolette...! Congratulations on your new clinic’s commencement!”  
“Thank you.”  
Busily pacing back and forth while greeting guests who were now arriving at the clinic, I barely had time to take a breather. The past week has been so chaotic. With the help of my alma mater and Areum, I finally pulled it off. **_The dream I’ve thought I’d never be able to do_**. And now, I did. Not knowing how long I still had in this world, I threw away the past hesitations I’ve had down the drain. Especially when I told him I’m going back to Seoul.  
“Doctor Kolette! You’ve really outdone yourself once again!”  
“As you would expect of our batch’s top student and graduate. You could’ve been the youngest director now at _SNUH_ if you decided to stay there since we took oath.”  
“What even made you to come back here out of the blue? Last time Areum-ssi mentioned, you were working in the best leading hospital at _Paris_?”  
Even my fellow classmates who were also doctors now in their respective fields came to celebrate my clinic’s opening. I just smiled at their nonstop flood of questions. Apart from the important people in my life, nobody else knew about my accident. And I’d like to keep it that way. For now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“Use your remaining time wisely Miss Kolette. Remember that time waits for no one. Stop looking back and just keep moving forward.”_  
The **_voice_** in my head had stopped lecturing me ever since I came to Seoul. Maybe because I have less of a heavy heart now?  
“Let’s just say that I’m going to spend my time more positively now. So I won’t end up regretting a lot in the end.”  
“Okay everyone, I’m going to steal Kolette for now. Excuse us.”  
Before I then knew it, Areum then swooped me out of the scene in a hurry as we excused ourselves.  
“P-Phew. Thanks for the save there, Areum-ssi. They kept asking questions on and on, even no matter how many years pass by, our classmates are still the biggest chatterboxes.”  
“You’re just lucky you were out of the country all the time they invited us to their drinking sessions. By the way, that’s not important right now!”  
I could only blink when she then jumped at me for a quick hug.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Areum-ssi...?”  
“I’m so proud of you, best doctor friend of mine who’s now a big boss and the youngest clinic owner in Seoul...! You’ve... you’ve worked hard this past week, Kolette.”  
“J-Jeez... you’re going to make me cry silly... t-thank you.”  
The two of us just exchanged passing laughs before she then told me,  
“By the way again, you have an important visitor waiting for you at the entrance.”  
“Oh, really?”  
Areum then pushed me gently by the back saying,  
“Yes! So go! I’ll take care of the rest here for now.”  
With a slight groan, I just shrugged and followed what she had said as I made my way towards the entrance.

And just at the sight of the ever undeniable figure with the _black hair and cinnamon brown eyes_ who was holding my precious little Holly in his arms along with a bouquet of iris flowers, my eyes and heart fluttered.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Genius-ssi...”  
“Congratulations to you, doctor noona.”  
Before I even realized it, my feet then took over me as I ran to his side and wrapped my arms around him unknowingly. And for the first time again in these four years, it was still indisputable. **Min Yoongi’s scent and warmth really felt like heaven in this cold earth**.

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette-ssi...”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
I could only freeze in place and my whole mind just blacked out the very second Kolette ran up to me and hugged me, completely catching me off guard. Holly meanwhile just barked ecstatically as he and I felt Kolette’s warmth so close. For Holly, this might be just a usual way of her showing affection.  
“Thank you... thank you for coming.”  
“Y-You’re welcome...”  
But to me, it was a _**hug that felt like a misplaced lifetime**_.  
“C-Can we please stay like this for a few more seconds?”  
“I-If that’s what you want... sure...”  
I don’t know why Kolette had even hugged me in the first place, but no matter how cliche this sounded, I wished time would’ve just stopped right then and there. It felt like I was transported to a day in the past, of our past together. Yet... why did this moment feel so much better than the past though?  
“Arf! Arf!”  
Holly’s barking brought us back to reality. As Kolette lets go of her embrace around me, she looked at me next with a relaxed smile before she gently took Holly from my arms.  
“I hope it wasn’t too much trouble for you to come all the way here and to bring this little guy.”  
“No, it’s okay. I had no important scheduled recordings at the agency today, so here I am.”  
“Good job then too, Min PD-nim. Let’s go inside. I bet you’re starving already.”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
With a simple nod, I followed Kolette and I then stepped into her new clinic building for the first time.

“Don’t hesitate to tell me if you need more, okay?”  
“This is more than enough already. Thank you.”  
As Kolette led me to a free table, I then asked her,  
“So this is what you’ve been practically glued to for the whole week? Still can’t believe you managed to get all of this ready for only a week.”  
While brushing Holly’s fur, she just chuckled at what I had said and replied,  
“To be honest... if I didn’t graduate from _SNU_ or even became the top passer when I took the licensure exams, none of this would’ve been possible Yoongi-ssi. And because of how preoccupied I was, I still wasn’t able to find my own place to stay.”  
“Is that so? You should give yourself more credit, Kolette-ssi. Not many doctors have your caliber. **You’re one of a kind**.”  
Wait... did my last sentence just now... shit. That should’ve remained in my head. Waiting a bit nervously for Kolette’s reaction, it was put to a halt the minute Areum came to the scene.  
“Oh! You’re finally here. Nice to see you again Yoongi-ssi. Other than that, I need to borrow Kolette because some of our sunbaes from _SNU_ are looking for her.”  
“Right. I almost forgot that they were coming too. Will you be fine here by yourself for now, Yoongi-ssi?”  
Who was I to stop Kolette? I just nodded and said,  
“Yes, I’ll be fine.”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“Looks like baby Holly wants to stay with Yoongi-ssi though?”  
Kolette then didn’t hesitate to place Holly on the chair she was just sitting before saying lastly,  
“I’ll leave Yoongi-ssi in your care then, okay Holly?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
Rubbing her puppy’s head, Kolette just flashed me one last smile before she and Areum went on their way.  
“Looks like it’s you and I again, Holly boy.”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
I then went on to finish the rest of the food I had on my plate with the little brown puppy being my constant companion.

 _BGM: Lonely Night (TAEYEON)_  
The hours went by in a snap.  
“Oh my god, Doc Kolette. Isn’t that Min Yoongi-ssi?!”  
“Are you two back together?!”  
“Is that why you’re back here in Seoul too?! It all makes sense now!”  
After my conversation with my doctor seniors, I didn’t expect that my classmates would then come running to me the minute they spot the ever familiar silhouette of _Min Yoongi_ himself. Now, how do I get myself out of this one?  
“Okay. Okay, break it up! You three are always the ever curious ones huh?”  
“Jeez! Don’t be so stingy, Areum-ssi!”  
It felt a bit nostalgic, this scene right now. I just giggled and told them as honestly and vaguely at the same time,  
“That’s only for him and I to know, ladies.”  
“Eep!”  
“We knew it!”  
Before they could continue their ever curious interrogations, Areum lets me escape as I continued laughing at their hilarious reactions.  
 _“Are you two back together?!”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
If only it were that simple though, my mind said to me on cue. I then made my way back towards he was. Where Min Yoongi was.

The celebration continued on even late in the afternoon until the evening. When Kolette came back to where I was still sitting, she then offered to show me around the whole building.  
“On the first floor is the reception area and the one operating room plus the testing rooms for the medical services the clinic will be offering for those who can’t afford to go to a hospital.”  
This woman really. She already shined so much back when she wasn’t a doctor, and now that she’s one, _Kolette just shined the brightest_. So this is what it looks like to finally witness her achieve her life-long dream.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wow...”  
We then walked up to the second floor. Holly meanwhile followed her footsteps steadily and heartily from behind.  
“The second floor is for the clinics of all the three doctors who’ll be working with me, including my own.”  
She then showed me to her own clinic room. It was pristine, well-organized, and aromatic, something that really had Kolette’s delicate touches. If my studio at the agency was my safe haven, this was hers. There were medical books everywhere and photos of her journey as a doctor and achievements over the walls.  
“You’re really something else, doctor noona.”  
But then, only one thing inside the whole room caught my eyes on perfect timing and left my whole body feeling like I had butterflies from head to toe.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette-ssi... t-that is...”  
It was no other than the very **_gold medal_** I had left her. It was now being framed and placed right in the center of all her photos and framed accomplishments.  
“My lucky charm. **Someone once said to me that I have to take care of it in his place**. So, it deserved a place on the wall. And now, I can’t easily lose it. And also now, I’ll be able to see it and feel motivated to work harder.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Doctor noona...”  
When our eyes then locked gazes at each other, Kolette just tells me with a genial smile,  
“I’ve always intended to keep my promise with you back then, Min Yoongi. No matter how much my heart ached, I took care of that medal. Because didn’t I also tell you too before that... **the littlest of things held my biggest memories of you**?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette...”  
And at that exact point in time, a flashback of a certain promise lingered and played inside my thoughts in a flash. **_A promise that got lost in time_** during the last day of that special summer in 2010.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“Let’s promise that together then, okay my homeland?”_  
 _“Sure. It’s a promise, my crown.”_  
I then knew. I then knew what I wanted to say next to the very woman standing in front of me as she didn’t avert her green eyes away from mine once. Taking something out from my pants’ pocket, I then asked her,  
“Kolette, take your hands out for me.”

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“G-Genius-ssi...”  
It felt like _deja vu_. It felt like I’ve heard him ask me the same thing before. It was right when things begun. When “ _us_ ” begun. I did what I was told without hesitation. And then, my whole line of thoughts just blanked out the very moment Yoongi placed a very sentimental _silver necklace_ on my hands.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi, t-this is...!”  
“Let’s keep due of that one lost promise. **Move in with me, Kolette**.”  
Nevertheless, nothing came close to describe the emotions I had felt the second he dropped those unforeseen words right at me. Except my tears.  
“M-Min Yoongi... a-are you really sure about that?”  
My heart almost stopped when he then took the necklace from my hand and closed the distance between us instantly as he wraps it around my neck and kisses my now wet, left cheek saying,  
“I’ve never been more sure of anything else. Let’s keep that promise from that summer, Kolette.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I can’t believe he still remembered that fleeting promise from that one summer long ago. As my hands reached out to touch the warm cheeks I have missed dearly, the two of us leaned our foreheads together while he wipes away the obvious tears gliding down my face.  
“Y-Yes. For you. O-Only for you, my homeland.”  
Even if it meant that I’d have to leave his side in the near future, I didn’t want to lie to myself anymore. **I didn’t want to regret not being by his side any longer. Especially when I still loved him so much**.

As Kolette’s green eyes were the only ones completely mirrored in my gaze, I couldn’t stop myself from wrapping her in my embrace the minute she told me “ _yes_ ” all over again.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m so proud of you, doctor noona. You’ve... you’ve worked hard, my crown.”  
When she gripped tightly onto the back of my clothes, we just continued to hug each other in the comforting silence while Holly just stared at us from our feet. I couldn’t deny it. **_The only woman I could see myself rocking back and forth along the seesaw was Kolette alone_**.

And like a _deja vu_ of that summer, that _July 9th_ that made everything begin, it was happening all over again.  
But this time, I’m not going to screw this up.

But this time as well, I wasn’t even aware of the _heavy secret_ hidden behind the green eyes and smile of the one woman I called my homeland and my crown.

***  
 _Summer of 2010:_  
 _St. Ives, Cambridgeshire, England, United Kingdom_

 _BGM: Just Like a Dream (BEN)_  
I could reminisce about that memory so clearly.  
It was during our last day stay at Kolette’s hometown. And our last day at Europe overall before we go back to Seoul the next day.

“It’s really our last summer day huh?”  
“Time really does pass by so quickly.”  
We were sitting by the _old river port_ near the town’s bridge. Kolette was throwing breadcrumbs to the swans huddling in groups while I was still trying to fish for a catch on my fishing rod.  
“W-Wow, when did you guys get so many?”  
“Kolette... if you keep feeding them, they’re just going to keep coming back you know.”  
Grabbing her camera, she then snapped a photo of the swans before she giggled saying,  
“Don’t worry, my paper bag with breadcrumbs is already empty Yoongi. How about you? Did you catch anything yet?”  
“Not yet. The fishes might be scared because of the all the swans.”  
Kolette then moved her folding chair towards me and out of the blue kissed me on my right cheek while stealthily grabbing my fishing rod with a laugh.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hey...”  
“I’m sorry? Wait, no. Not really. I had to steal it since you might have no plan to do something else if you couldn’t at least catch one. So I’ll take over from here!”  
Now it was my turn to laugh at what she said while stroking her left cheek.  
“Shall I teach you how to fish then, doctor noona?”  
Kolette nodded eagerly and said,  
“Yes please, genius-ssi.”  
Ever the curious one the woman I adored was. Pecking her quickly on the lips, I gently helped her picked a new bait before I cupped her hands together with mine as we threw the rod’s line to the water.  
“You’re a natural huh, Kolette?”  
“I have a great teacher.”

It didn’t even take 15 minutes before the rod’s line started tugging because of a catch.  
“Y-Yoongi?! D-Did I catch something?!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hold on tight, doctor noona! Don’t let it get away!”  
As Kolette and I pulled back the fishing rod using both of our strengths, she then shrieked in glee the minute the fishing rod’s hook was out of the water, there a dangling fish was.  
“Oh my! Oh my! I really caught one Yoongi!!!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I never thought I’d get to see such a delighted face on Kolette’s face when it came to fishing. I really had a feeling that she wouldn’t enjoy something like this but she proved me wrong. _Again_. It made my heart pound like an idiot. She was really one of a kind that I couldn’t help but smile as well.  
“You really did, doctor noona. You never fail to surprise me even now, Kolette.”  
“So? So? What fish is this called, genius-ssi?”  
As she then placed the now immobile fish without fear inside the small ice box I carried, I chuckled seeing her curious green eyes looking so serious and prettily at me.  
“Hmm, it’s called a _tench or doctor fish_. Funny how it’s a fish that really suits you for some reason, Kolette.”  
“O-Ohhh... so there’s a fish that’s called a doctor fish huh? Fascinating... now I understand why you like fishing, genius-ssi. This was my first time to fish too properly!”  
“Here’s a reward then, new fishing genius.”  
Kolette lets out a giggle the second I moved my face closer and kissed her again on the lips.  
“Hmm... I like my reward. We should definitely go fishing back in Seoul! B-But...”  
“But?”  
She couldn’t help but sigh and say with a slightly disappointed look,  
“It feels like a pipe dream because we’ll both be so buried with college work and won’t have that much of free time, especially me.”  
I then took both of her hands and held them tightly. My mind then thought of the craziest idea right then and there.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“We’ll make it work, we always do, doctor noona. It’ll be a few more years before you and I graduate, but it won’t be impossible **if we move in together**. We’ll have all the time in the world.”  
Kolette almost gasped in disbelief of what I had to say.  
“Y-Yoongi, you don’t mean...”  
“Will you move in together with me once we both graduate then, Kolette?”  
She then wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me surely on the lips this time.  
“Let’s promise that together then, okay my homeland?”  
I nodded without second thought as I pecked her nose saying while we stared at each other eye-to-eye,  
“Sure. It’s a promise, my crown.”

We made another promise to the summer sky of that year. Yet, _that simple promise got lost over the course of all the time and years that passed by us_.  
Regardless, under the summer night sky years later when we found each other again, we renewed the once missing promise.

And this time around, Kolette and I were going to make due of the important pact.  
 _I just didn’t know that it would be the last._

***  
 _Summer of 2016:_  
 _Seoul, South Korea_  
 _Day 41 of 365_

 _BGM: Sweety (BEN, YOSEP)_  
It’s been more than a month since that _July 9th_. It’s _day 41_ based on my wrist’s tattoo.  
And now, it’s been two weeks.

Two weeks since Yoongi had asked me to move in with him. And here I was, staring at the picturesque view his apartment had to offer of Seoul by the living room while holding my cup of coffee.  
“This still feels unreal...”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
As Holly greeted me energetically in the morning, I scooped him in my arms while continuing to drink my coffee. Yoongi’s apartment was really a good balance of comfortable space and lighting. The color palettes around his own space were mixed with different kinds of _blue, white, and grey_. His apartment had two rooms, his and the guest room. You didn’t think I’d even share a room with him when we don’t have any established relationship at the moment?  
“But this place is surely big for one person... wouldn’t you think so, Holly?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
I asked Holly in a soft whisper. Adding to that, Yoongi had a separate room with all of his music equipment there and of course, we can’t forget about the grand piano and his black acoustic guitar. Apart from that, the other rooms were the usual in an apartment. Two bathrooms, a big kitchen, and living room. I didn’t have a lot of things to bring with me, so it was easy to come and move in with him. It was a _raw, new feeling_.  
“Time to make him some coffee then.”  
Putting Holly down, I then walked back to the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. And then a few minutes later, a still half asleep figure then came walking towards the kitchen in his _long oversized white shirt, black shorts and black slip-on slippers._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Good morning, genius-ssi.”

It’s been two weeks since I asked Kolette to move in with me, which is still by far the craziest shit I have ever said in my entire life. But... but just by hearing her voice in the morning and seeing her in those _silk pajamas of hers with her hair tied up in a messy updo_ every single day, it felt like it wasn’t such a bad idea after all.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Good morning... you’re up early.”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
And also, I was already used to Holly being around as I ruffled his head before I went up to take the cup of coffee Kolette made. She never forgot to do this every morning for me since she moved here. I had to stop myself from smiling like a damn fool every time.  
“Here’s your morning _iced americano_ , I placed three cubes of ice instead of five this time.”  
“Thank you. You know you don’t have to do this everyday though?”  
Living with Kolette was really an unfamiliar feeling. But, having her around, having and seeing her so close, I wondered if I was dreaming still. She just smiled and said,  
“It’s okay. I’m an early riser and I don’t mind doing it for you. Especially you’ve done so much for me the past month. It’s the least I can do.”  
The only thing I have the difficulty of with regards to our whole living together situation was... I had lost count on how many times I’ve had to hold myself back from hugging her or kissing her. We still don’t know where our relationship currently stands, but I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Damn it. Why did she have to look so adorable whenever she smiles at me with those ever glinting green eyes of hers. And yes it didn’t help as well that I could see plainly in my eye sight the _silver necklace_ around her neck.  
“...”  
“Yoongi?”  
“...”  
“Yoongi...!”  
Snapping back to reality after Kolette’s voice echoed loudly in the kitchen, she then placed her hand on my forehead saying,  
“Hmm... your temperature seems normal. Are you okay? Do you feel sick?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Yeah, she wasn’t my doctor noona for nothing.  
“N-No, I’m okay.”  
“That’s good.”  
As she sighed in relief, I couldn’t hold back anymore. Before she was about to remove her hand on my forehead, I then pulled her closer to my side using that same hand of hers. Our faces were only centimeters apart next and we could feel each other’s breathing and pounding chests.  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”

My heart almost wanted to leap out of my chest when Yoongi was about to bring his face closer to mine. It’s been the longest while since I’ve seen him be so bold. And I didn’t mind it. Especially if he was holding both of my hands so tightly as if I was held captive.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mmmm...”  
My whole body just melted once he kissed my lips so tenderly and slowly. It felt like a first kiss all over again. **_An unforgettable first kiss_**. As I placed down my cup of coffee on the counter, I could then put both of my hands at the back of his head as our quite long kiss continued on.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaaa... Y-Yoongi...”  
“S-Shit... K-Kolette...”  
As our tongues met up, the taste of coffee on our lips and our raspy breathings blended together. I could only grip even more tighter on his hair as he lets me sit up on the kitchen counter and slowly uses his warm hands to lift a bit of my pajama top and caressed my hips playfully. _It made my whole nerves jol_ t.  
“F-Fuck... why do you have to smell so good in the morning?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“G-Genius-ssi... n-no...”  
I yelped the minute his hands reached my chest and his lips now found themselves pecking me brazenly on my slowly sweating neckline multiple times.

“H-Hmmm... h-haaaa... w-wait...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“E-Ever sensitive your body is huh, doctor noona...”  
As Kolette then crashed her lips with mine again and more forcefully this time, the two of us could only let out echoing moans for each other before I was about to unhook her bra. And then,  
 _*ring* *ring* *ring*_  
“...”  
“...”  
We then looked at one another clumsily when my phone started ringing and became the biggest block for what was just about to happen between us.  
“A-Aren’t you going to get that?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“R-Right.”  
Feeling the heat go straight to my cheeks, I quickly pulled my hands away and went to answer my phone which rang nonstop. Damn it. Why did it have to ring at that exact moment too?

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
As Yoongi went to answer his phone, I could still feel myself blushing like crazy because of what just happened. My heart was racing like never before. Shit... what would’ve happened if his phone didn’t ring? Just thinking about it made me realize that living with him is way harder than I initially had thought.  
“J-Jeez... Kolette really... stop acting like a horny teenager damn it...!”  
Touching my lips, I had to hold back my squeals as I then hooked back my bra. Ugh. I don’t know if I should be thankful or not right now.  
“Arf! Arf!”  
And to think Holly was about to witness something reckless at his young age. It took a few more minutes before Yoongi came back to the kitchen after taking his call. When he caught my green eyes, he asked fumblingly,  
“Um... do you have anything important scheduled for today?”  
“N-Nothing in particular... I only have two appointments with patients at the clinic today. Why...?”  
It was still evident that we were still flushed from our heavy make out session that almost turned out well... _heavier_. Taking a deep breath in and out, Yoongi then took something from the coffee table in the living room and walked back to the kitchen. I blinked when he handed over a dark blue envelope to me on cue.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi, what’s this?”  
“You have to open it to find out.”  
My eyes then started shaking at the invitation that was inside.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-This is...”  
“This is a bit perplexing to ask all of a sudden, but... will you come with me to the _producers’ awarding ceremony_ later tonight, Kolette?”  
“Genius-ssi...”  
I could only look at him in amazement. It seemed like Yoongi was going to be recognized as a top producer by a well respected music society here in Korea. **He really shined the best when it comes to music**. There could only be one proper answer to his question.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Of course. If you want me to be there for you, I’ll be there. For you, Yoongi.”  
Before I knew it, he then wrapped me around his warm arms and told me,  
“Thank you, Kolette.”

If my regrets will lessen by being this one man’s support crown, I was willing to do anything to make him happy right now. Even if... _even if it meant I’d be stripped out of his life completely in the unknown future_.

**  
 _Later around early evening:_  
 _Imperial Palace Hotel_  
 _Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: When love comes by (Kassy)_  
 _Kolette: I’m near Gangnam. I’ll be there around five minutes._  
The program was about to start half an hour from now. I was waiting for Kolette while checking the last message she sent by the luxury hotel’s huge lobby. Fixing my suit’s tie in slight nervousness, a familiar smiling figure then came up to me.  
“Min PD-nim...!”  
“Oh, Yeonjun-ah. You’re here now too.”  
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world you getting awarded tonight! By the way, are you waiting for someone?”  
I nodded and said,  
“Yes, I am.”  
He then gave me a teasing smile saying,  
“Oh... I see now. You’re waiting for that special someone who gave you that _music box_ and is the reason why **_Autumn Leaves_** and **_Seesaw_** exist?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What a cheeky and perceptive younger guy he is, I should say.  
“Don’t start with me unless you want to have no producer on your next single.”  
“I-I’m sorry Min-PD...! I was kidding of course...!”  
As I couldn’t help but chuckle at his reactions, my chest on cue fluttered as my ears then heard a very familiar voice echo.  
“Yoongi...!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Min PD-nim, what’s wrong?”  
Ignoring Yeonjun’s words, my brown eyes could only be fixated at the smiling woman who was making her way towards me. _Beautiful_ was an understatement to how I could describe Kolette right here, right now. She looked so ravishing in her _long, elegant light blue, v-neck spaghetti strapped, sweep train evening dress_. The _top was egg white and the long chiffon skirt was light blue like the summer daytime sky_. Her gorgeous, red brown hair was then tied up in _another messy updo with a wrapped-around braid_ right in the middle of it. And to top it all, she wore _glittering silver earrings_ and had the _silver necklace_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“Thank you for waiting for me, genius-ssi.”  
Yet overall, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her shining green eyes. Breathtaking seemed so plain to describe her standing in front of me.  
“N-No, no worries. I’m glad you came here safely. B-But Kolette, really...”  
“Hmm? What’s wrong?”  
Trying to avoid blushing at all costs, especially with another presence standing right beside me, I just told her,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You look absolutely beautiful, doctor noona.”

 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“You look absolutely beautiful, doctor noona.”_  
I guess all the trouble of going to the salon plus with Areum constantly nagging about what dress I should get were worth it. Yoongi’s cinnamon brown eyes hasn’t averted my gaze even once. And I guess I’m not too overdressed for the occasion.  
“Thank you, Yoongi. It’s the first time I’m going to a prestigious event like this, so better safe than sorry.”  
The two of us just continued to stare at each other in silence before I then realized there was an unfamiliar person standing right beside him.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“U-Um hello. Good evening.”  
Yoongi had to elbow the boy with the _charming pair of brown eyes_ on his shoulder before he bowed politely and told me in a stutter,  
“H-Hello! Good evening too... I’m from the same label as Min PD-nim!”  
“Oh, I see now. It’s nice to meet you then. I’m Kolette.”  
“I didn’t even realize that Min PD’s special someone would be this pretty...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
‘ _Special someone_ ,’ I wasn’t hearing things right?  
“W-What?”

Fuck. I better get Yeonjun out of the scene before he starts blabbing whatever comes to his head and exposes me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You better run now before I tell the head PD I’m backing out of your next single by the end of tonight.”  
That was the only thing I whispered to him before he then bowed politely to Kolette and made a run for it.  
“A-Ah, look at the time. I’ll be excusing myself now! See you later, Min PD-nim. It’s nice to finally meet you for real, Kolette-ssi...!”  
“W-Wait...!”  
Kolette then gave me a slight glare asking,  
“What did you say to him, Min Yoongi?”  
I just chuckled at her reaction and kissed her quickly on her forehead.  
“It’s nothing to worry about, Kolette.”  
“You really should stop that intimidating air you give off to those younger than you are. Jeez. I didn’t even get to know that nice guy’s name.”  
Taking her left hand with my right one, I simply replied,  
“You don’t need to know his name, doctor noona. Got it?”  
“I got it, you dork.”  
I then led us both towards the magnificent looking ballroom as the program was about to start any minute now.

“Let’s give it up for the youngest recipient of our _exceptional top producer award_ and who’ll be joining our music producers’ society, Min Yoongi PD.”  
As Yoongi then headed up the stage, the whole ballroom fell to claps. I clapped like there’s no tomorrow. I felt a bit of dry tears then form around my eyes as he accepted the award and bouquet of flowers proudly and stood by the podium that had a microphone.  
“Thank you for this outstanding honor. There is no better recognition than to be acknowledged for your hard work and effort.”  
I listened ardently to Yoongi’s acceptance speech.  
“Making music seemed like a pipe dream for me before, but now as I stand here in front of all of you, I don’t regret the path I’ve taken. I thank my family for letting me exist, the label for always pushing and believing in me, and to the very person who opened my eyes to go on this path back when we were simply students, thank you. **Thank you for being my muse and my crown**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
When his cinnamon brown eyes caught mine even in the whole entire crowd of unknown faces in this ballroom, I just wiped my tears as everyone clapped audibly for one man himself after his speech ended. It really was an astounding feeling to witness with my own two eyes the _success of the man who deserved it so much_.

And it then dawned on me, I was happy to be alive so I could see Yoongi shine brilliantly.  
 _“I’m so proud of you, doctor noona.”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m so proud of you too, genius Min Yoongi-ssi.”

 _A little bit later..._  
 _by the hotel’s open air balcony:_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Haaa... this is bad.”  
While I was getting some fresh air and looking up at the twinkling night sky, I held the silver pendant around my neck in anxiousness. No matter how happy I was, the haunting realization that once all of my regrets of what happened between Yoongi and I get erased, **I’m going to leave his side**. _Completely_. And the fact I don’t know when that’ll happen was the one thing that scared me the most.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Is this even worth it all, universe?”  
Getting lost in my own thoughts again, the voice I wanted to hear the most then lingered around the summer night’s breeze.

Right after the awards program was over, the whole event place turned into a literal ballroom where people started dancing like in those old movies. I then came looking for Kolette. And it turned out she was standing here, gazing wistfully at the night sky by the hotel’s open air balcony at the very end of the floor. I wonder what’s weighing heavily on her mind again every time she’s alone.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“So you were here huh, doctor noona.”  
I had to continually catch my breath every time Kolette turned around to look at me. Not to mention, it was as if she was being illuminated magnificently by the moonlight. _She looked like a painting_. A painting I could look at everyday.  
“Yoongi...!”  
On cue, she ran up to me and wrapped me up in her tight embrace.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...?”  
“Congratulations again, Min PD-nim. Your speech really touched me. Who knew you could be so mushy like that?”  
I just pinched her nose at what she called me now and her silly question.  
“Don’t you start calling me that. I prefer it when you call me by my name or as a genius. And that speech, that was just on a whim.”  
She then tiptoed on her heels to reach my face and pecked me on my lips.  
“Noted on that, genius-ssi.”  
“That’s an unfair move just now, doctor noona.”  
My hands then went to hold her at the back of her neck as I returned her kiss and made it longer this time. It just felt right to kiss Kolette when it’s just the two of us.  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
“I guess being alone with you beats dancing back there at the ballroom any day.”  
Kolette just giggled as she gently pulls away from our kiss and asks,  
“Don’t tell me you’ve never danced before?”  
“I’m already good with songwriting, the piano, and the guitar, and you want me to be good at dancing too?”  
She didn’t hesitate to nod and offers her right hand to me saying,  
“I doubt you’re not good. Here, let’s give it a try.”  
I was about to **roll my eyes** at her, but for a weird reason, I just listened and took her hand before **she pulled me in**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ **I’m not much for dancing, Kolette. But for you, I’ll do it**.”  
“I know, and I’ll remember it no matter what, Yoongi. Now just follow my steps.”  
As we were slow dancing with the moon and night sky as our only spectators, I’ll be sure to remember too. **The swing in Kolette’s steps and her being the life of the party, a party just between us**. And that was all that mattered.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I love you.”  
Her green eyes then directed on my brown ones right away at those three words I had uttered so suddenly. Stroking my cheeks, Kolette’s small tears took over as she replied with an honest smile,  
“I love you too. I never stopped and never will.”

The night grew on and became distant.  
 _And it was the same night that I was reassured of my ceaseless feelings for one woman alone._  
As long as our feelings were still aligned with each other’s, I don’t mind not having a clear definition of our relationship presently.

***  
 _Fall of 2016:_  
 _Seoul, South Korea_  
 _Day 55 of 365_

 _BGM: Fall Again (LOONA)_  
It was that season again.  
The season that reminded us of the _beginning_ that had happened once and the _ending_ that had left traces.

For us in this present, it was just a season where we were _falling for each other on repeat, rocking back and forth freely on the **seesaw**_.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
I watched Yoongi sleep right next to me, as if I was **watching our life in old pictures** I had taken. I had lost count how many long nights we’d spent together, reconnecting the once misplaced years. Looking at the tattoo on my wrist, it was _day 55_ already. Almost two months since _July 9th_. And I still have no idea how much time I have left. But for now... just for now, I wanted to stay by his side like this.  
“The fall really reminds me of you, my genius-ssi...”  
When I was stroking his smooth hair, I was caught by surprise when I felt his warm lips land on mine.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
“Did you forget that _**Autumn Leaves**_ is my constant reminder of you...?”  
Yoongi just grinned amusingly at me while I had to keep my heart at bay after his sudden surprise attack.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“J-Jeez... you’re such a sneak, genius-ssi. Good thing I don’t mind your kisses at all.”  
“Is that so?”  
Pulling me by the waist, Yoongi hugged me tightly as we continued snuggling on the bed.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hey! It’s time to get up!”  
“No. Five more minutes, doctor noona.”  
It was no use when he didn’t budge at all no matter how much I tried to wriggle out of his arms. When did he get this strong?  
“Y-Yoongi... have you been working out lately?”  
“What do you think? Didn’t you ponder over my muscles over all the exercising we’ve been doing, even last night?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
This cheeky man, really... memories of my screaming and our dizzying wails from last night made all the blood rush straight to my cheeks as I squished his cheeks.  
“S-Shut it...! D-Don’t make me remember...!”

It was so precious to see Kolette’s flustered face and green eyes in the early mornings after we spent countless nights together for the past month, to make up for the long four years without each other. **I was falling more in love with her, more than I ever did in all these years**. Especially when I get to see her wearing _my clothes and shirts_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Please, that wasn’t what you were screaming last night.”  
“Min Yoongi!!! Stop it!”  
If this was all a dream, I didn’t ever want to wake up from it. A life without her really was something I didn’t want to ever happen. I’ve already let go of her once, _I’m not stupid enough to let her go twice_.

 _A bit later:_  
After staying in bed for almost an hour, I was making both of us our usual morning coffee while Yoongi started making breakfast. There was just something so admirable about watching him cook.  
“I can feel you staring at me, Kolette.”  
“I’m just using my eyes properly, Yoongi.”  
He couldn’t help but chuckle at what I had said as he then glanced back at me.  
“Don’t make me turn off this stove and drag you back to bed.”  
I also couldn’t help but hug him from behind. _His warm back_. His warm back that had grown stronger, but still had that same comforting protectiveness of his.  
“That sounds tempting but we have to work. The bills aren’t going to pay for themselves.”  
“Ever the hard worker you are, doc Kolette noona. Fine. If that’s what you want. We can stay home all day long on the weekend anyway.”  
He just kissed me on my forehead before finishing up our breakfast.

“What’s your schedule for today, Kolette?”  
Whenever we were about to head out for work, Yoongi would always ask me what my schedule was. Because sometimes he’d drop by the clinic to bring me lunch. _His ever caring nature hadn’t changed even in all these years_. Sometimes when I’m not that preoccupied, we’d go out for lunch together. It really felt like we had so much quality time to be together, minus the fact about my numbered days. _I still don’t know when I’ll be able to tell Yoongi about it, or if I ever will_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Kolette?”  
“...”  
“Doctor noona!”  
“Hmm?”  
It took a few attempts for Yoongi to call out my name so I can snap out of my cloudy thoughts.  
“Is everything okay, Kolette? You turned all silent on me.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Kolette, think of an alibi fast!  
“Ah... well I was just thinking about this minor brain procedure I’m going to operate on a patient in a few days.”  
“I see. I know you’ll do an outstanding job, like you always do, doc Kolette.”  
Phew. That was a real close one. I just hid a sigh of relief to myself saying to him,  
“Thank you too always, genius-ssi.”

Of all the years I’ve known Kolette, I knew when she was trying to hide something or not. _Especially when her green eyes were wavering_. But wanting to respect her space, I didn’t ask her until she was the one who wanted to share whatever’s on her mind. But... why do I keep getting this _**warning sign**_ that whatever she’s veiling isn’t an easy thing to say?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette, can I...?”  
“Shit, it’s this late already? Thank you for a wonderful breakfast again, Yoongi. Holly? Where are you?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
Before I could even say anything, Kolette just cunningly presses a swift kiss on my lips while picking up our used plates plus utensils, and putting them on the sink before she disappeared out of the kitchen in a flash with Holly following behind her instantaneously.  
“How in the world is she so damn good at avoiding conversations...?”  
That was the only thing I could tell myself pathetically as I also went through our usual busy mornings.

 _A couple of hours later:_  
“I’ll see you on your operation in a few days.”  
“Thank you again, Doctor Kolette.”  
After I was done with the consultation on my last patient for the day, I took off my glasses as my phone then lit up and flashed a new message.  
 _Yoongi: any plans for lunch?_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Checking my wristwatch, I then hurriedly took off my white lab coat and stethoscope before grabbing my bag plus other things, locked my clinic room, and ran for the stairs.  
“Oh? Heading out for lunch today, Doc Kolette?”  
I just smiled at the nurse by the reception desk and said,  
“You can say that. I’ll be out for the rest of the afternoon, just contact me if anything happens.”  
“Roger that, Doc Kolette! Take care!”  
When I managed to find a cab and got on, I just texted back to Yoongi,  
 _Kolette: sorry! an emergency happened here at the clinic, I’ll see you later tonight!_  
It wouldn’t hurt to tell him a little white lie once in a while. I just smiled sneakily to myself as I was the one who’s going to do the surprising this time.

 _Half an hour later:_  
“I wonder if everything’s okay now, hope she doesn’t skip lunch just because she’s busy.”  
After receiving Kolette’s last text almost half an hour ago, I was about to call her when,  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
“Oh...?”  
Seeing the familiar caller ID that then appeared on my phone, I answered it.  
“Hello? Hyung?”  
“Yoongi-yah! Hey. It’s been a while. Are you busy right now?”  
Although I was expecting someone else to call, it felt good to hear my older brother’s voice since it’s been more than a month already from our last call.  
“No, it’s okay hyung. I was supposed to have lunch with Kolette, but she had an emergency back at her clinic so I’m still here at my studio room at the agency.”  
“I’m taking things are working out more than fine between you two then? I guess moving in together really does wonders to two people huh?”  
I don’t know if he was teasing me or encouraging me or both but I just had to laugh at my brother’s remarks.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sheesh hyung. Just don’t, please.”  
“I’m just glad you’re back to your usual self, Yoongi-yah. Kolette-ssi’s effect on you is really undeniable, back then and now. So, when are you planning to make it official again?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Shit. My brother really doesn’t mess around when it comes to straightforward questions.  
“Damn it hyung. I’m really going to hang up if you keep dropping questions like that.”  
As our brotherly bickering continued on, I was startled the second sounds of knocking then came outside of my studio room.  
 _*knock* *knock*_  
“Min PD-nim! Are you inside?”  
“Hyung, looks like I have to call you back. Someone’s at the door.”  
“Fine, fine. I better hear more good news from you soon, got it?”  
Jeez. He really was relentless when it came to ribbing me. The perks of being the younger sibling. Putting my phone down, I then walked to the door and opened it. _And there she was_. There Kolette was standing outside of my studio room with Yeonjun.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette?”  
“Hope I’m not the one disturbing you this time?”  
“I found Kolette-ssi by the first floor and she said she came by to see you, Min-PD!”  
Kolette just chuckled while carrying the paper bags of takeout food in her hands. What a relief that it was Yeonjun who’d found her instead of the sleazy old men here in the agency.  
“Thank you for bringing her here, Yeonjun-ah.”  
“Ah, so your name is Yeonjun then? Thank you as well for your help, Yeonjun-ssi.”  
Ah shit. I accidentally blurted out his name. The boy just nodded shyly at how Kolette mentioned his name before he excused himself the second his manager then called out for him at the end of the halls.  
“He’s a really nice kid, genius-ssi. And now I know his name too!”  
“Don’t start, doctor noona. Just come in.”  
Kolette giggled at my muddled expression as she then entered my studio room after I gently took the paper bags from her hands.

“I didn’t think you’d come here all by yourself.”  
“What’s the point of surprising you then?”  
After we finished having lunch with what Kolette had brought and I opened a wine bottle I had kept in my studio, I just told her while laughing,  
“You and your surprises really, doctor noona. What time are you going back?”  
“I’m free for the rest of the day. How about you?”  
That’s rare. Usually it’s Kolette’s who’s far busier than I am and she tells me now she’s free for the afternoon, what is she planning?  
“Kolette, are you sure you didn’t skip your doctor duties just to spend more time together?”  
“Hmm... not really. Is it so bad of me wanting to see you instead of the other way around?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Well shit. She really knew how to clap back at me in the wittiest way again.  
“Damn. Don’t say things like that when we’re alone, doctor noona.”  
Kolette finished the wine in her glass with a giggle before she sat on my leather chair facing my laptop linked to my other equipment on the long table.  
“So this where you do your magic huh? It feels more cramped here than your studio room back at the apartment, but it feels cozy here too.”  
Turning the chair around, she started to play around with the keyboard’s keys.  
“Oh? Are you working on something?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wait...!”  
Fuck. I completely forgot that I placed music sheets on top of the keyboard yesterday. Kolette then looked at me, stunned of the lyrics she just saw.  
“ **S-Seesaw**?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
Why did the lyrics she had to see were from the very song I had written for her all those years ago?  
“T-This song is...”  
“Yes I wrote it **for you, for us, and about us**.”  
“Yoongi...”  
Maybe this was the right time. Right time to tell her everything. Grabbing my phone, I then opened my voice memos and played the one entitled, _**Seesaw 2012**_ before putting it on top of the keyboard.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Will you listen to this then, Kolette?”  
Kolette nodded without hesitation as the voice memo then started.

 _“It looks like I’m done with the whole song now. Funny how I finished it too during the same season I made Autumn Leaves. The very first song I wrote for her alone. This one is called **Seesaw** , and it’s only for her. This is for you alone, Kolette. It’s been a year already since I last saw you, but I miss you so damn bad. Funny too that you’ll never know though.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
My heartbeat fell in distraught at what I’d heard with my own two ears. It was indeed Yoongi’s voice. He had written another song for me and I only had knowledge of it years later, which was now.  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
“Every year. I started recording voice memos of myself singing and playing the piano whenever I remember you. Most especially when _July 9th_ comes. **That’s how I coped up while I longed for you**. That’s how I coped up when I couldn’t get over you no matter how fucking hard I tried, Kolette.”  
As he stared at me with his serious cinnamon brown eyes, Yoongi then played the rest of the voice memos he had saved every year on his phone. **_From 2012 up until 2015_**. Four years worth of his _unceasing emotions_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why... I-I’m... I’m sorry for making you feel that way all these years... Y-Yoongi...”  
When my tears took over me, Yoongi held me by the chin and lightly kissed me on my lips while wiping the signs of tears on my cheeks.  
“Sssh. Don’t say sorry, Kolette. We can’t take back the past so let’s just be happy now. We only have now. **You’re here with me now**.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“You’re here with me now.”_  
My heart felt like it was being beaten up. Yoongi’s genuine side was really blinding. And to think I’m only one of the few people he shows them to, it made my whole body and soul quiver that I could only say,  
“P-Play the song called ‘ ** _Seesaw_** ’ for me, genius-ssi. Please...”  
I listened. I listened earnestly to every note his hands played, to every lyric he sang, and to everything the whole song was about. So much has changed but one thing’s for sure. **I won’t ever forget the way Yoongi’s piano playing always made me feel** , and only my tears were the answer to that.

 _BGM: Uncover (LOONA / Odd Eye Circle)_  
“ ** _I walk on this seesaw without you  
I'm getting off this seesaw without you_**...”  
Right after he finished playing the last lyrics for the song, he then glanced at me and asked on cue,  
“So, what do you think doctor noona?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
I didn’t know what kind of words to tell him, that was probably the first time I felt that way. And he was the sole one capable of doing that to me. Without second thinking, I sat on top of him and pushed my lips with his.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-This is what I feel... g-genius-ssi...”  
“F-Fuck Kolette...”  
Yoongi just lets out a small growl before he lets my legs wrap around his waist and he strokes my cheeks as our kissing turned deeper with our tongues greeting each other’s.  
“M-Mmmm... a-are you sure the door is locked...?”  
“P-Positive... a-and the whole room is soundproof, so...”  
As he teasingly bit the back of my ear with a whisper, my whole body flinched and I couldn’t help but squeal loudly in bliss.  
“A-Aaah...! N-Not the ear...! S-Shit...!”  
“I’m just getting started baby...”  
I could only sigh and moan dreamily next when Yoongi’s hot breath and kisses traced all over my now sweating neckline, collarbones, and shoulders. His strong hands then found themselves trailing around inside my _long sleeved old rose knitted sweater_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... k-kiss me harder... p-please...”  
“I was planning to, doctor noona. Come here.”  
Our lips were drawn to each other’s like it was the most natural thing to exist, _like my lips were nonexistent without his_. My back was now leaning by his long table as he was still holding onto me firmly on the leather chair. Whenever he kissed me felt like a _new sensation_ every time.  
“I-I’m going to help you relax now, okay doc?”  
“I-I’d like that too...”  
Being quick, he took off my _knee length mule colored boots_ and unhooked my bra before giving my breasts a smooth rubbing.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaaa... h-haaaa... h-hmmmm... g-genius-ssi...”  
“D-Does that feel good to you, baby?”  
I could only nod dizzily.  
“T-Time to make it even better then, don’t hold back your screams for me doc...”  
“F-Fuck...! A-Ahhhh...!  
I had to hold on tightly to the leather chair’s armrests as Yoongi lifted up my sweater and started sucking on my breasts so roughly while massaging them altogether. Euphoria flooded my whole head to toe. And this was just him _teasing_ me for now.  
“Y-Yoongi...!”  
“You... you know that was only a warmup right baby?”

After he finally takes off my bra and sweater, and drops it to the floor, he just pecks me again on the lips before he lets me sit up on his work table saying,  
“Sit up for me, baby.”  
“And then...?”  
His cinnamon brown eyes then looked at me so alluringly as he smirked and whispered in my left ear,  
“ _ **Hush**_ doc. Just trust me, okay?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I nodded in anticipation. Yoongi then slowly unzips my _white jeans_ that I was only left in my underwear minus the bra.  
“F-Fuck Kolette... lie down on the table baby.”  
I did what I was told and let my bare back touch the table.  
“W-Wait... y-your equipment though...?”  
As Yoongi was on top of me as he also leaned by the table towering over me, he just kissed me tenderly on my chest, near where the _silver pendant_ was.  
“Damn Kolette... do you really think I could think about my music equipment at a time like this?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Make love to me then...”  
“That had always been my plan, doctor noona.”  
 **Shivers and jolts**. Those were the only two things I could feel when Yoongi started kissing me from my forehead, to my eyes, to my cheeks, to my nose, lips, chin, heading downwards to my chest, my breasts, my belly button, to my thighs and even on different spots on my arms and legs. He was really trying to _**uncover**_ me, both body and soul.  
“And the most sensitive but most important spot of them all...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hmmmm... a-aaaahhhh...”  
My head could only lean back in elation the second his delicate fingers then went inside my underwear and inserted three of them inside of me.  
“A-Ahhh...! Y-Yoongi...! M-Mmm...”  
As my screaming turned louder, Yoongi shuts me up through his lips and tongue on repeat as his fingers inside of me rocked back and forth, _like a rushing wave from the ocean_. My thoughts were as good as mush while jerking tightly onto his now messed up, black hair.  
“ **A-Are you coming right now** , baby?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ **J-Just take me there right now**...”

Taking off his _black leather jacket, and his usual black shirt with the belt and black tattered up pants_ , our hoarse breathings continued on while we kissed and Yoongi carried me to the sofa inside his studio room.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaa... h-haaa... _I love you_... I love you so much, Y-Yoongi...”  
“S-Shit... K-Kolette, stop driving me crazy... **stop killing me slowly**...”  
As he lets me plop down on the sofa, I caressed his sweaty, chubby cheeks and said,  
“I... I need you right now.”  
“I... I’m going to _**uncover**_ you now then.”  
Taking off his underwear, he splits both of my legs apart and entered me in a cinch. I could finally squirm in the best way possible. We’ve made love to each other for how many times now but it still felt so new. _Every single time was a new sensation_. And it was only desirable with him.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit...! Y-Yoongi...!”  
“F-Fuck...! K-Kolette...!”  
Every thrust left me breathless for more. First the pace was so slow and then he proceeds to go faster that my head could spin in real ecstasy. _Our audible pantings for one another_. The way I roughly kissed him and wrapped my arms around his neck while my fingertips dig deeper into his skin every time his thrusts made me wheeze. The way he would entrap both of my hands with one of his and the other fondled with the rest of my visible body parts. **That was how Yoongi uncovered me and I uncovered him**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaaaa... h-aaaaa... g-genius-ssi...”  
“A-Are you ready to cum then, my crown?”  
His brown eyes met my green ones as I just told him with a sheepish but dazed smile,  
“Y-Yes... yes I’m ready... m-my homeland...”  
“F-Fuck...”  
“M-Mmmm...”  
When we reached the _ejaculation_ of our longing lovemaking after a few more thrusts, Yoongi and I were still out of breath as he plopped down next to me on the sofa.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“G-Good thing this room is soundproof Yoongi...”  
“D-Don’t... or I’ll make you scream for a second round, Kolette...”  
I let out a small giggle as I just planted a soft kiss on his lips before I cuddled myself closer to his beating chest.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ _Having sex in a studio room_... it looks like my fantasy came true thanks to you, genius-ssi.”  
“Did you really forget that we did this too back at the apartment by the piano... so I don’t know if I should be happy of service to that or not, doctor noona...”  
As Yoongi wrapped me around his warm embrace, the two of us just laughed at our ridiculous sentences before we drifted off to slumber in elated fatigue.

 _A little bit later:_  
“Mm?”  
“Sleep more, Kolette.”  
As I got up and put on my shirt and pants back on, I watched Kolette nod cutely while she resumed to sleep on the sofa, good thing I had a spare blanket hidden here in the room as I then covered it over her bare body and kissed her forehead.  
“Now this is what I call a mess...”  
Looking around my studio room that had scattered clothes all over because of our _playtime_? I had to laugh quietly to myself at the memory of what just happened in my studio room of all places here at work. Picking up our clothes on the floor, I blinked when something then fell out of Kolette’s pants.  
“Hmm?”  
It was a small, navy blue box and there seemed to be a note stuck to the bottom part. My chest’s pounding then started ringing inside my ears at what was written on the note.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_

_For: my genius-ssi, Min Yoongi,  
I don’t know what kind of piercings you like, so I just decided to go with my gut feelings and brought these pair of small, silver clip-on earrings for you.  
I saw them at this little street shop near where I brought our lunch, and I couldn’t stop myself from buying them for you since you look so cool with piercings now.  
Stay cool and adorable always, my homeland.  
I love you. Take care of them for me as I’ll always take care of the silver necklace around my neck. **Not because you own me, but you’re the only one who really knows me**.  
— Kolette_

Damn. The earrings were just my style. This woman really... _the things she makes me feel deeply with each day passing_. I took off the piercings I was currently wearing and wore the ones from inside the small blue box.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
Putting down the box and her clothes on the table, I walked up to her, still lying down on the sofa and knelt on my knees to touch her face.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What if I ask you to start again with me, doctor noona? What would you say?”  
“M-Mm? Y-Yoongi...?”  
As her eyelids slowly opened, I just gingerly kissed her on the lips that made her grumble softly.  
“H-Hmmm...? W-Why are you suddenly kissing me when I just woke up?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“It’s just my way of thanking you for the gift... thank you, Kolette. I’ll take care of it.”  
When her gaze then looked at the earrings on my ears, she groaned again in embarrassment as she covered her face with her hands.  
“J-Jeez... that was supposed to be another surprise too...”  
“ _Pabo_. You and your love for surprises. It’s okay... I was surprised really, don’t worry.”  
“R-Really?”  
She peeked at my face prettily. Those green eyes are really unlike anything else. I then didn’t hesitate to lie next to her again on the sofa and leaned our foreheads together while pulling her closer to me saying,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. Really. Thank you, my crown.”  
“You’re welcome, my homeland. You look even more handsome now...”  
“Is that so? That’s good to hear then.”  
We engulfed in each other’s warmth as she leaned in closer and made both of our lips touch again and again. Kolette places both of her hands on my cheeks as I just went on to hug her even more securely in my arms.

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
And that’s when I saw for a very brisk second, **a tattoo** on her right hand’s wrist. The number had a “ _55_ ” on it, but I don’t know if it was my mind just playing tricks on me or if I was still feeling lightheaded of what Kolette and I did. But somehow from that day forth, the _**warning signs**_ I’ve been seeing since her accident started to make sense and connect like a puzzle.

_Leading us both closer to the ending we won’t ever come to like soon enough._

***  
 _Winter of 2016:  
Seoul, South Korea  
Day 145 of 365_

 _BGM: Rough (GFRIEND)_  
The months passed by and now the season’s changed.  
You would think that everything was smooth sailing between Kolette and I. It was. Yet, _she and I both knew that having happy days will always come with bad ones_.

Things were going strong between us. Relationship wise, we didn’t need the dating label to make sure of our feelings for one another. Of course, every time I would try to bring up the subject about getting back together, _Kolette would always knowingly get herself out of the conversation_. However, that wasn’t the main thing that was starting to worry me.  
“Kolette, what’s the brand of coffee you’re always buying? Should I make us some kimchi stew later when we get home also?”  
“What do you mean the brand of coffee I’m always buying?”  
She looked at me in pure confusion. Is she joking? We stared puzzlingly at each other by the grocery store.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Um, the coffee you’re always making for us every morning? The ones we always drink ever since you’ve moved in with me?”  
“O-Oh, right! Silly me. Of course, let’s go buy it if it’s available here.”  
I’ve known Kolette for so many years. **She wasn’t the type to easily forget things**. God, her keen memory back in college still left me in awe, that’s why she’s always been the top student. That’s why she passed as the top passer. That’s why she become a noted doctor even in her young age. Because of her sharp memory. _But why do I keep getting this grim feeling that it’s slowly changing_?

And why do I keep getting this feeling too that she’s hiding _something very important_ from me? After thinking repetitively about that tattoo I may or may not have seen on her wrist, I don’t know what to think anymore.  
Most especially on one certain day during the winter, _my cruel premonitions were brought to light_. Yet, I wasn’t relieved about it at all.  
“Hmm... jeez why do I keep getting this wrong?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
After arriving in a hurry at my apartment, I put down my things as soon as I heard guitar sounds and Holly’s barking coming from the living room.  
“Kolette? Holly?”  
“In the living room!”  
When I walked to the living room, there Kolette was, _strumming along to my guitar_ as she was trying to teach herself for a month now and Holly sitting right beside her on the sofa.  
“Welcome home. This is the first time I’m the one to greet you welcome home.”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
I gave her a questioning look while crossing my arms and asked with a sigh,  
“Why haven’t you changed yet, doctor noona? We’re going to be late for Areum-ssi’s birthday party?”  
Her green eyes then started shaking in complete surprise of what I said just now.  
“W-What? T-That was tonight?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 **There is no way in hell she would forget about her own best friend’s birthday.**  
“K-Kolette, is everything alright?”

It’s been a few months since my memories were starting to evaporate into thin air. It was _day 145_ according to my wrist. And I wasn’t stupid, I know the way my memories are slowly slipping away is a _**sign that my time in this world, by Yoongi’s side, was up**_. And now, he was starting to piece by piece grasp it already.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
“I-Is there something you want to tell me?”  
And with that one question, I knew. I knew I couldn’t just keep up with my alibis and lying wasn’t so easy anymore. Not when he had been so honest with me ever since that autumn day in his work studio.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. There is. But...”  
“But what?”  
As his cinnamon brown eyes looked at me filled with concern and uncertainty, I just said to him with a wry smile,  
“Meet me back here at the living room in half an hour.”  
“K-Kolette...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“P-Please. Trust me. I’ll tell Areum-ssi we both can’t come later. But for now, just please. Don’t ask any more questions, Yoongi.”  
Trying hard not to break down in tears as I could see the frustration in Yoongi’s eyes at my avoiding answers, this wasn’t the proper place to tell him. To tell him the heaviest secret I’ve been hiding from him since _July 9th_. I had to tell him at that place alone. **The very place that was supposed to be our meeting place all those years ago**.

The whole car ride in the almost late afternoon as we were driving to our destination was eerily quiet. As much as I had a lot of questions, I respected what Kolette had wished for now. _If she was keeping the thing that’s been weighing on her mind heavily for god knows how long already, she knew that this wasn’t going to be easy to say_.  
For her. For me. And especially, for us.

_A little while later:  
The Garden of Morning Calm  
Seoul, South Korea_

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... t-this place...”  
“The place we were supposed to meet that spring you were coming back? Funny how we didn’t end up meeting here and, here we are now. **Together**. After everything that transpired.”  
And the very place she had asked me to go was the place that left both _a very valuable and hurtful memory_.

Taking his hand, the two of us walked a bit around the garden. And then I let his hand go and stepped a few steps back, took a deep breath in and out, and stared solely at the _cinnamon brown eyes_ of the man I hold more dearly than anything else, the **_very reason why I’m happy now and I don’t regret anything_** , before I said to him with a forlorn smile and tears gliding down my cheeks,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Min Yoongi, what would you do if I tell you... my remaining days are only numbered? And that... I can’t keep my promise of being by your side for a long time? What... what would you do?”

 _BGM: I will go to you like the first snow (AILEE)_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _ **“What would you do if I tell you... my remaining days are only numbered?”**_  
As the chilling winter breeze passed by us, I just stood there numb. I just stood there numb as I watched the tears fall from the green eyes of the most important person in my life. I guess I understand now. I understand the underlying meaning of the saying that, ‘ **there are secrets that deserve to remain secret** ’ now.  
“K-Kolette... y-you don’t mean...”  
 _The dotted signs were all connecting now_. Why she recovered so quickly after her accident with no serious injuries. Why she kept on looking sadly at her wrist when she’s alone as if she was dwelling on something ponderously. Why she was starting to forget the simplest of memories, like things and events. My eyes weren’t deceiving me after all since the fall.  
“I know. I know you might have an idea now why I kept glancing at my wrist, Yoongi. Let... let me ask you, do you see anything now?”  
As my heart could feel pure pain rush within me, tears also formed around my eyes now while Kolette shows me right hand’s wrist that was blank to me, _but to her, it wasn’t blank_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“N-No, I don’t. A-Am I supposed to see something then?”  
With a forced smile, she just nodded as more of her tears poured to the ground.  
“I-I’m on _day 145_. I’ve been breathing alive for 145 days since that _July 9th_ , Yoongi... but I don’t know when it’s going to last. **I don’t know how long I still have in this world**. A-And with you...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-Is that why you’ve been dodging my question of trying to get back together then?”  
She nodded again and replied with hurt resounding all over her cracked voice,  
“Y-Yes. I... I... I just couldn’t bear to break your heart all over again... that’s why I wanted **_to stay away... to stop myself from falling in love with you more than I’ve already felt... that’s why... that’s why I didn’t want you to love me anymore_**...”  
Kolette then fell down on her knees. I ran on cue to her side to catch her and just embrace her tightly around my arms. We were both trembling and crying. Her heavy sobs as she leaned on my chest just echoed around the whole garden. And that absolutely fucking shattered me.

I thought I was ready to leave the world ever since I didn’t feel any more regret with what occurred between Yoongi and I, but now... now I just don’t know anymore. As much as I wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, grow old together, be each other’s crown and homeland for the longest time, the universe wouldn’t allow that. **I was merely a walking time bomb now**. And it hurts like shit. It really did.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m... I’m so sorry... I-I’m so sorry Yoongi...”  
“Sssh... sssh. There’s nothing to be sorry...”  
I continued to cry profoundly in his warm arms. The arms that had always been there for me. _My homeland_. Now that he knows everything, what am I supposed to do now?  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You can let go of me already once and for all, Y-Yoongi...”  
“L-Like hell I’m going to do that, Kolette...!”  
When I was about to punch him on his chest, my mind just blanked out the moment he places his strong, but shaking hands at the back of my head and kissed me gently on the lips. His warm kiss soothed the overall pain I was feeling.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... w-why...”  
“Why...? D-Do you really just expect me to let you go again when I still love you this damn much? No, I... I’m never going to let you go, Kolette. **Fuck the universe**. **Y-You’re here now. With me... and... and that’s all that matters to me**.”  
It was my turn to wipe the tears on his cheeks and plant a genial kiss on his lips this time. His words were really the warmth I didn’t think I’d need in this chilling weather.  
 _“Y-You’re here now. With me... and... and that’s all that matters to me.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you, my genius-ssi, Min Yoongi... thank you for coming back to my life since that _July 9th_...”  
“Whether it’s _July 9th_ or not, **_I will go to you always Kolette_**... I... I’m going to be here for you. Only you.”  
With the rest of my tears, I just wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him firmly on repeat, praying that I won’t ever forget this warmth. His warmth. **Yoongi’s warmth that had been and will always be my saving grace**.  
“E-Even when I start losing my memories one by one before we know it?”  
“I’ll make you remember them, no matter what. Just... just don’t push me away. That’s what hurts the most for me. Let me be by your side through all the good and bad. Let’s just stay together on the _seesaw_. O-Okay, Kolette?”  
I had no choice but to nod and just tell him as I buried my head on his _not-so broad, but always warm back_ while his hands caressed my back to calm me down.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-I love you, Min Yoongi.”  
“And I love you, Kolette. Be it in this universe or another.”

Before we both knew it, the dusk sky already grew into the cold, winter night.  
 _And before we also knew it, the first snow for the year also took over._  
In this very place and time, we are finally together but were only meant to be pulled apart because that was the way of the universe.

Nevertheless, that wasn’t enough to keep me from letting Kolette go again even with all the warning signs she gave me. _Nothing will ever be enough to make me let go of her hand_. _**Absolutely nothing**_.

**  
 _A few weeks later:  
Day 159 of 365_

 _BGM: but, are you? (HEIZE)  
*snap*_  
“Hmm? Did you just take a photo of me again?”  
“Uh huh. Look, it’s coming out.”  
Ever since Kolette had confessed to me everything, from her counted days and the very unlikely _fantasy-like situation_ she was in, for a weird reason, it brought us both even closer with each other. The two of us had told everything. Even though I could tell she was still fearful of our future, _Kolette’s smile seemed less strained now_. Her memories were day-by-day diminishing, so she had then decided to keep a **scrapbook**. A scrapbook filled with every little memory that meant a lot to her, _from photos she took, to her handwritten little notes, and even... the very lyrics of the songs I wrote for her_.  
“I should name this as ‘ _The Handsome Genius and His Beloved Guitar_ ’ don’t you think?”  
I just scooted closer to her side on the sofa and kissed her on the cheek which obviously made her look at me in shock.  
“W-What was that sneak attack for?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Nothing. I just wanted to do it.”  
“J-Jeez. How am I supposed to finish pasting all of the photos in the scrapbook if you surprise me like that!”  
The two of us just fell to a hearty laugh before she then showed me the progress of what she was doing.

“What do you think?”  
Kolette was indeed one of the smartest people I really know. _Each page that had a colored page marker stuck to it contained a photo of someone important to her_. **From her parents, to her best friend, to Holly, and even a page that had a photo of me**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“It’s like those old school autograph books, minus all the unnecessary questions to fill up.”  
Around my photo were notes about **her first impression of me, when she started to have feelings for me, what were the little things she loved about me** , even to the words I’ve told her before written under the ‘ _words I hope I’ll never forget even if I do forget them in the end_ ’ note.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You’ve written so much already in these two weeks...?”  
“This is just a cinch as compared to making notes back in med school, genius-ssi.”  
The next pages were then filled with photos of me, photos of Kolette that I took through her camera, and photos of us. **Photos that held so much sentimental memories and were the living proofs that what we have is real and us being together now is real**. _And not even the universe could take that away from her_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re really amazing, you know that right, doctor noona?”  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
Seeing how hard she was working to keep her memories intact even in her situation, I knew too. I knew I had to do something as well. Just supporting her in silence and pretending like I didn’t want to be affected by all of these, it didn’t sit right with me anymore.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette, remember those lyrics to the song you wrote on that letter you’ve sent to me before?”  
She blinked in curiosity of where the conversation was heading.  
“Of course. I still do? Which is weird... but why do you ask though?”  
I grabbed my phone with my left hand and took Kolette’s hand with the other saying as I led her to where the piano was in my apartment.  
“Yoongi...? What are you trying to...?”  
As she was about to pop-up nonstop questions, I let her sit down in front of the grand piano first and told her without hesitation,  
“I’ll teach you how to play that song on the piano. And I’ll **record** it like what I do with my voice memos.”

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Yoongi’s sudden proposition made me gulp in uneasiness. I maybe a smart doctor and all, but that’s a whole lot different when it comes musically. I wasn’t a musical genius like him obviously.  
“B-But... you know that I’m a complete novice when it comes to musical instruments? They’re different from syringes and surgical scalpels right?”  
He just flashes me his _goofy gummy smile_ that made my heart go into a trance before leaning in his face closer to mine and carefully kissing me while his cinnamon brown eyes just gazed at me deeply.  
“Let me do this for you, Kolette.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“F-Fine...”  
Yoongi really knew when to use his serious tone at the most perfect time. Ugh. Already having the _most tender of brown eyes mixed with that deep, honest voice of his_... it should be considered illegal.  
“Good answer, doctor noona.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Jeez... you really gave me no choice just now though.”  
Sitting down right beside me on cue, he just smiled in victory asking me,  
“So, tell me the title of the song Kolette. What was the title of that song?”  
Recalling to the best of my ability, my lips just formed to a relieved smile as I replied while placing both of my hands on the piano’s keys and our eyes never faltering away from each other’s,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ _ **Last Kiss**_. It’s called like that, Yoongi.”

Yoongi and I continued to spend dreamy, carefree days like that before the reality of it all will come for us.  
 _The real ending to this story._

***  
 _Spring of 2017:  
Yangjaecheon Stream  
Seoul, South Korea  
Day 265 of 365_

 _BGM: Don’t forget (Kassy)_  
Spring came.  
And it was already _day 265_.  
I didn’t think I would live on for this long, and you would think I was just dreaming everything from the accident up till now. But then, I realize... every time I wake up in the morning now, **my memories were at a bare minimum**. I was on a long break from work for a month. Even though my procedural memory still remained intact, the memory of remembering people’s faces and names and any interactions with them were all dissipating already. _Kind of ironic that as a neurosurgeon, I couldn’t do anything to fix the state I was in_.

If it weren’t for Yoongi and his amount of patience, I didn’t know if the rest of my days would still be _unforgettable_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You’re Yoongi, right?”  
“K-Kolette...”  
Everyday, I’d always find the scrapbook I made right beside my nightstand and someone’s phone on top of it with a little note that said,  
 _“Press play on the screen, Kolette.”_  
And everyday, I’d hear **someone’s piano playing and two voices singing**. The two voices belonged to a soft, deep voice and my own. The owner of the soft, deep voice that echoed my hearing was the very person I’d see nonstop on the scrapbook. The man with the _cinnamon brown eyes and gummy smile_. His name was _Min Yoongi_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-The voice memo and scrapbook reminded me of who you are, Yoongi.”

Every time Kolette would ask me every morning she wakes up now if I was the Yoongi she’d hear on my phone’s voice memo and see on her scrapbook, I had to stop myself from getting emotional because I had to stay strong for her and for the both of us. But obviously, **I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t feel like it was being cracked at her situation**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-That’s good to know then...”  
“C-Can I hug you?”  
Putting down my cup of coffee, Kolette would also ask me to hug her right after a bit of her memories come back slowly. I didn’t hesitate to wrap her around my arms every single time.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Of course, you can always do that, Kolette. You never need to ask me for permission... you’re the only person who can hug me freely. Got it?”  
“T-Thank you... your warmth is really nice, Yoongi... t-thank you too for being so patient... I know... I know this is just as hard for you to deal with...”  
Yet, no matter how hard it was, I had no intention of letting her go. _Not once. Not ever_. I then didn’t hesitate to stroke her cheeks and look into her ever pretty green eyes asking,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Let’s go on a date today, Kolette? You love flower viewing, especially during **cherry blossoms in the springtime**.”  
“Sure. I do want to go flower viewing with you, Yoongi.”  
Even though her memories were fading away like the seasons, Kolette’s earnest smile always remained the same. _The smile that still spelt out how even no matter how little she remembers, she remembers me_. She remembers us. And to me, that still meant a lot.

_I just didn’t know that date would turn out to be the **last**._

“Why do I keep getting this feeling that this isn’t the first time we went flower viewing during the spring?”  
“That’s because you’re right, doctor noona.”  
We found ourselves walking around _**Yangjaecheon stream**_ to watch the cherry blossoms bloom. The place had less of a crowd but it was just as beautiful as the places of where crowds rush to every year during this very season. Gripping tightly to my hand that was holding hers, Kolette then peeked at my face and said,  
“Tell me more, Yoongi.”  
“The first spring we spent together was at the _Garden of Morning Calm_. That was the season when I gave you the necklace you’re always wearing. And the last spring we were together happened to be the same time I broke my promise to you at the same place. **The very place where it held a lot of good and regretful memories**. But now...”  
“But now...?”  
We then on cue both stopped walking by the area’s bridge as the spring breeze flew by and made the cherry blossom trees dance. Facing Kolette, I just told her with a small smile,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“That place doesn’t hold any more of my regrets any longer, Kolette. Just like right now, **_I don’t regret anything about you and us anymore_**. That’s why... I can properly tell you now, I love you without any lingering regret, my doctor noona. My homeland and crown. My seesaw. I love you, Kolette.”

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi...”  
 ** _“That’s why... I can properly tell you now, I love you without any lingering regret, my doctor noona. My homeland and crown. My seesaw. I love you, Kolette.”_**  
My heart trembled. No... it wasn’t only my heart that trembled at this one man’s words. My whole heart and soul trembled. Even if I was merely a walking time bomb that could burst in any second, minute, or hour, he didn’t let go of my hand once. Even if my memories were hazy and going astray, he never failed to keep on reminding me that I don’t have to be afraid or scared of what’s going to happen... because he was here in front of me now. _And I too, could finally tell myself and the man standing in front of me to whom I loved with everything, memories or not, one last important thing,_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I love you too, my homeland and crown. My genius-ssi. My Min Yoongi. _**I have no more lingering regrets too**_. T-Thank you for staying with me at the _seesaw_... t-thank you.”  
As my tears fell down like the falling cherry blossom petals from the many trees surrounding us, a light pink petal then fell right in the palm of my right hand after I took off the _silver necklace_ around my neck and handed it over to Yoongi.  
“K-Kolette...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-Take care of it for me, okay?”  
And right then and there, the **_voice_** that I haven’t heard for a long while now echoed inside my head along with the sounds of a clock ticking as it said,  
 _“Looks like you have no more regrets tying you to this world then, Miss Kolette.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“K-Kolette!!!”  
Before I knew it, my eyesight turned to black and I’ve already fallen unconscious to the ground. The cold, hard ground that reminded me vividly of what happened that _July 9th_. It all came back. But this time around... I didn’t need to dial his number anymore for Yoongi was here. _His warmth was with me now_. And that was all I could ever thank for.

 _“T-Take care of it for me, okay?”_  
Kolette’s tears just dropped down for one last time with her wistful smile before she fell unconscious.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette!!!”  
Catching her in time, I just wrapped her around my arms and wiped the signs of tears on her cheeks as my own started dripping on her closed eyelids. I just stroked the _silver necklace_ that was now in my left hand with a heavy heart saying,  
“I-I’ll take care of it... a-always, doctor noona...”  
 _Kolette’s warmth was still unmistakable_. After I checked her pulse, she was still breathing and her cheeks’ color were still rosy. Pulling myself together, I then scooped her up in my arms and made her lie down on the bench right across the bridge and under the one of the blooming cherry blossom trees.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“P-Please wake up, Kolette... please...”

After I took off my coat and used it to cover her and gently rubbed my pocket warmers on her hands, I waited. I didn’t take my eyes off of her and sat on the ground. I didn’t care if I had to wait all day long or for tomorrow to see Kolette waking up in front of my sight.  
 _ **“My Min Yoongi. I have no more lingering regrets too.”**  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette... wake up... please... are you really going to do this to me?”  
I just caressed her cheeks with my hands as I prayed and continued to wait. _I don’t care if it was all in vain or in hope_.

That voice... that deep, but soft voice. Someone’s been calling my name. Why?  
 _“K-Kolette!!!”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Why did the voice sound so much as if they were in pain? As much as my body didn’t want to wake up any longer, for some inane reason... my heart couldn’t easily just give up. And my head too, altogether. I want to go to where that distressed voice is. **_Even if I don’t know who’s the person behind that voice, I want to go back_**. No matter what.

“Hmm...?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...!”  
After a few more minutes, my chest started accelerating the moment Kolette’s eyelids started fluttering. And then, it slowly got revealed, the _green eyes that held so much of importance to me_. However as much as I was relieved to see her wake up, the one thing I’ve been dreading to happen, finally happened.  
“W-Who are you...?”  
Like sinking ships, Kolette had gotten off the seesaw already while I was stuck on the bottom of it as she just watched me sitting on it all alone. That was the very second where the hard reality finally came. **Kolette had lost her entire memory and now, I too, could see the number tattooed on her wrist**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m... I’m Min Yoongi. Your _homeland_ , Kolette-ssi.”  
That was the only thing I could tell her without breaking down in tears myself. That was the only thing I could tell her underneath the falling cherry blossom petals. And that was the only thing I could tell her with a smile.

It was _day 265_ according to Kolette’s wrist.  
It was on _day 265_ that she had lost her memories completely.  
And to me, it was a day that was the most hurtful. _More hurtful than the day we walked out of each other’s lives on the side door_.

Yet, the universe didn’t want that day to be cruelest.  
 _ **It was just a close revelation to what the real ending was.**_

**  
 _Months later...  
Late Spring of 2017:  
Seoul, South Korea  
Day 315 of 365_

 _BGM: When We Were In Love (AILEE)_  
 _“Your time is really about to be up, Miss Kolette.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-Who are you?! S-Stop trying to get inside my head!!!”  
Ever since I woke up without any recollection of who I was, what I was still doing in this world, or why I was still here... _I keep having the same recurring nightmare_. An unknown _**voice**_ that keeps haunting and telling me of how my time was quickly up. And me feeling entrapped in the void of my own thoughts. It felt like I was going crazy on each passing day.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“L-Leave me alone!!! P-Please!!!”  
And every time I woke up now, I woke up screaming with tears pouring down my eyes. Screaming for my life as if I was grasping for air.  
“K-Kolette!”  
And then... **_the voice that felt like a saving grace, the deep, soft voice that became the reason why I woke up, would linger around me like a protective charm_**. He’d come running with pure concern written all over his _cinnamon brown eyes_ and wrap me on cue around his _strong, warm arms_. I also couldn’t help but grip tightly onto his shirt every time I was in his arms altogether.  
“D-Did you have a nightmare again?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yes...”  
“Sssh... it was just a nightmare. You’re awake now. I... I’m not going anywhere.”  
I don’t know why. I don’t know why _his simple hug and his appeasing scent_ were more than enough to stop me from my shaking. I don’t know why _his words_ calmed me down. I don’t know why _everything about this man with the cinnamon brown eyes_ , who said **I was his most important person** , made me _feel at home and safe_ , most especially when he gently **wipes away my tears and fears**. Even if I couldn’t remember anything, he never once took his eyes off of me.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you... Min Y-Yoongi-ssi...”

It’s been a few months since what had happened. I was the only one who could take care of Kolette since I too, was the only one who knew everything about her situation. **I’d be lying again if I said I wasn’t having a hard time dealing with everything as well**. But being able to see Kolette alive and embrace her so close to me, _the problems seemed so minuscule_.  
“I’ll go get you a glass of water.”  
“O-Okay... thank you, really.”  
Ever since Kolette woke up since that day we went flower viewing, she’s had _repeating nightmares and would always wake up screaming_. I’d always come running to her room and embrace her in my arms. These days, she was doing better that after a few minutes of hugging, she’d calm down. It was worse before when it took almost an hour of me trying to pacify her.  
“Here you go.”  
“Thank you...”  
After she finished the glass of water, I helped her lie back on the bed saying,  
“Go back to sleep, Kolette-ssi. It’s still early.”  
“W-Will you please play the **voice memo of you playing piano** then, Yoongi-ssi? Your piano playing doesn’t fail to make me fall asleep peacefully too...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Lately also, Kolette would always find herself asking me to play the _voice memo_ of me playing the song I had taught her to play those months ago. Despite of her not recalling anything, _**her feelings were still drawn to my piano playing**_. And of course, that made me feel really reassured.  
“Sure. And here.”  
Grabbing the familiar _silver necklace_ from my pants’ pocket, I then carefully unlocked it and placed it around Kolette’s neck which made her look at me in curiosity.  
“A-A necklace?”  
“Consider it as a _**protective charm**_ that’ll drive off the nightmares and a reminder that you’ll always have me by your side.”  
As her hands then brushed the necklace’s pendant, tears then unknowingly cascaded down her eyes and for the first time in months, Kolette gazed at me with a heartfelt smile on her lips and even through her green eyes.  
“I... I don’t know why I’m crying but... thank you, Min Yoongi-ssi. I’ll take care of it... I promise.”  
 _“T-Take care of it for me, okay?”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-I know you will. That’s just how you are after all, K-Kolette.”  
Kolette lets me hold on to her right hand as she fell asleep as soon as my piano playing from my phone echoed throughout the room. Checking her wrist, the number tattooed on her wrist was somehow _fading day-by-day_ since she woke up.

I thought that this was just the universe’s way of telling me that Kolette’s memories were the only ones it had taken away. **Yet, from that point on, her memories were only the beginning**.

_And as soon as that tattoo disappears, the ending that Kolette and I were about to face was an ending that the two of us will never come to like._

_**The very ending on July 9th itself.** _

***  
 _Summer of 2017:  
Seoul, South Korea  
Day 365 of 365_

 _BGM: Without You (N of VIXX, YEOEUN of Melody Day)_  
 _“That July ninth_  
 _The beat of your heart_  
 _It jumps through your shirt_  
 _I can still feel your arms...”_  
It was _July 9th_. It was another _July 9th_ and I’m thinking of him again even while I was driving to _Northern France_ for the first time to visit Miss Keira for her checkup. Why did the song that was playing on the radio had to be that one song? _The song that spelt out every little detail of how I felt for one man. The man named **Min Yoongi**_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-Is it really impossible to forget you even no matter how far I go, Y-Yoongi?”  
Hitting the steering wheel in frustration, I remembered what Miss Keira had to tell me before.  
 _“Let’s just say that even if the universe has a way of making two people meet and makes them separate, it doesn’t mean everything ends from there my dear.”_  
And even the resounding echoes of what I also told Yoongi back all those years ago overlapped together.  
 _“The universe really has a way of letting two people meet. And... it really has a way of letting two people separate too.”_  
As the song on the radio was almost near to its end, I just hurriedly wiped away the tears on my eyes before telling myself,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ _J-July 9th_ really is a special and accursed day to us huh, Min Yoongi...”  
But the moment I reached out for my phone and was about to press dial on one man’s number in _pure hopefulness_ , a huge truck’s honking and its blinding headlights made **_my whole life flash right before my very green eyes_**. And the only name I could whisper next was,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi... I-I’m sorry...”

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I woke up with dry tears falling from my eyes. Everything came back like a rushing ocean wave. What really happened during that _**July 9th of last year**_ before the accident. It all came back now. _**All my memories came back**_. And just by looking at the number tattooed on my wrist which had a “ _365_ ” on it. I knew. _I knew that there was a reason why my beginning started on July 9th. That’s because my ending would stop too on July 9th_. Exactly one year after that accident. Today was the last day I’ll be tied to this world.

 **Today was my last day to be by Yoongi’s side.**  
My time was up.  
And once again, all the pain came crashing down as I clutched on tightly to the _silver necklace_ around my neck while letting the rest of my tears take over.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-I’m... I-I’m so sorry Y-Yoongi...”  
“Arf? Arf?”  
As I then saw little Holly approaching me slowly right by the bed, I didn’t hesitate to pick him up and hug him firmly in my arms for one last time as I sobbed quietly.  
“H-Holly, will you do mommy one last favor?”

 _A little bit later:  
“G-Goodbye, my genius-ssi... take care of yourself.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette?!”  
I remember those words clearly. Those words years ago. _When I refused to see Kolette walk out of the side door_. It was the first time I had dreamt of that melancholic day, and it wasn’t even the season of _**Autumn Leaves**_ anymore. My heart started beating uncomfortably the second I checked what date it was. And it turned out, **it was that horrid day all over again**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-It’s really _July 9th_ again huh...”  
With my restlessness kicking in, a familiar barking then took over my ears as soon as I was about to get off of bed and he was carrying a small note in its mouth.  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“H-Holly?”  
The second he looks up at me, he then drops the note as I then reached out for it.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-Is this for me?”  
“Arf!”  
Holly just barked in reply as I ruffled gently his head.  
“Thank you... I wonder what did you find this time.”  
However, I could only remember putting on my shoes and taking my car’s keys plus wallet and phone before running straight out of my apartment’s doors right after I read what was inside that note. **_A note left by Kolette herself_**.

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“F-Fuck Kolette...! W-Where the hell are you...?”  
I looked for her in places all over Seoul. And finally, it came to me like an _epiphany_. As I pulled my car to a stop in front of _**Seoul National University**_ , I then made a run for it. It didn’t occur to me that I could have easily entered the university and pulled over my car by the parking area, but right now, nothing else seemed to matter. Nothing else but seeing that woman with the _red brown hair and green eyes_ once again.  
 _ **“Meet me at the place where everything had started, Yoongi. Meet me where July 9th had started for the both of us, my genius-ssi.”**_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Those were the only words she had written on the note. Yet, those words... those words weren’t just so simple to me. When she wrote using the names she had used to call me, I didn’t know it would even be possible.  
“I-It can’t be right... d-doctor noona...?”  
 _Her memories had returned_. In Kolette’s terms, that would only be the most logical explanation. And there could only be one place where everything had started. **That very place back during the July 9th of 2009**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...!”

 _BGM: Last Kiss (Taylor Swift)_  
 _“This is how you play it, doctor noona.”  
“I see. Let me try it then.”_  
It felt like every single valuable memory led up to this day. I still could remember Yoongi’s delicate hands playing through the piano’s keys as I sat right beside him while he taught me patiently.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Haaa... let’s see if I can remember properly everything you’ve taught me, genius-ssi.”  
I told myself with a smile as I placed my fingers on the piano’s keys and started _playing the melodies that my heart will always remember, no matter what, when, and where I’ll end up. And with every note came with a tear. **A tear meant solely for him**_.

 _*piano sounds*_  
The echoes of a piano playing turned less fainter as I kept running. And the very minute I reached my destination, a place that had been engraved in my thoughts, there she was. **There Kolette was at the place where it all began**. The very place right outside of the department of music’s building. Just like a _**seesaw**_ , our positions have been switched this time around. She was now behind the piano while I was the one who’s watching her, admiring her.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
Glancing at where I was standing, Kolette looked at me ever so heartily behind those green eyes and smile of hers as she then didn’t hold back saying,  
“This song is for you, my Min Yoongi.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I could only walk up to her slowly as she started playing the piano’s keys precisely. And the song she played was no other than... the very song that I had taught to her right _before her memories withered just like the Autumn Leaves_. _**The song called Last Kiss**_.

 _“I still remember the look on your face  
Lit through the darkness at 1:58  
The words that you whispered  
For just us to know  
You told me you loved me  
So why did you go  
Away... away...”_  
And like that _July 9th_ of last year, _**my whole life with Yoongi flashed in front of my eyes**_ as I kept playing and singing while I let my phone record everything. All the memories, from the merriest ones to the most painful ones. _From the day we met, that day at the Seoul Arts Center, that summer in Paris, the autumn when he played Autumn Leaves for me, the winter when we fought, that spring which left me in tears_. Every little thing started playing together with the notes and lyrics I was singing.  
 _“And I'll go sit on the floor  
Wearing your clothes  
All that I know is  
I don't know how to be something you missed  
Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my lips.”_  
I didn’t care too if my tears were also flooding the piano’s keys, I just knew I needed to finish this song for him. **For him alone**. Right before everything comes to an end.  
 _“And I hope the sun shines  
And it's a beautiful day  
And something reminds you  
You wish you had stayed  
You can plan for a change in weather and time  
But I never planned on you changing your mind...”_  
As I was nearing the last part of the song, Yoongi then sat right beside me and continued to watch and listen to me play and sing for the last time. **For one last time together**. His _cinnamon brown eyes_ that stared at me with tears.  
 _“Just like our last kiss  
Forever the name on my lips  
Forever the name on my lips  
Just like our last...”_  
Stroking the final piano key, with both green and brown eyes gazed deeply into one another, I asked him with a smile,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-So, how was that my genius-ssi...?”  
And before I could even react, Yoongi kissed me on the lips deeply as our salty tears mixed altogether. Just like the song had said itself, _**Min Yoongi’s name will forever be the name on my lips**_.

As she asked me such a simple question with that smile of hers, I couldn’t bear it in me to not feel her close to me as I pulled her closer to my side and kissed her with my shaking hands on her heavily teared up cheeks.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-I’m... I’m so proud of you, doctor noona... I’m so proud of you, Kolette...”  
Pulling away from our long kiss, she tenderly caresses my cheeks and tells me with a soft giggle,  
“T-Thank you, that means a lot to hear from you, my genius-ssi, Min Yoongi-ssi.”  
She really does remember everything. But... but why did it feel like a goodbye? _**Why did it feel like this July 9th wasn’t going to go the way we both want it to end**_?  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“D-Do you really remember me, K-Kolette? W-Why now...?”  
Kolette’s green eyes mirrored in mine as she said so nonchalantly while tears streamed down her rosy cheeks,  
“T-That’s because this is **the last time I’ll be able to remember who you really are to me, my homeland**...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... y-you don’t mean...”

 _“Miss Kolette, time’s up.”_  
The mysterious _**voice**_ then echoed one last time inside my head and those were the only words that gave me a _sign_ that my time was up. **_The time bomb was about to burst now_**. The time bomb that was myself.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you for everything... thank you for loving me unceasingly, Min Yoongi...”  
My body didn’t listen to me anymore as I could feel myself growing weak with every second passing.  
“K-Kolette, n-no! D-Don’t you dare close your eyes on me d-damn it!”  
It was _only Min Yoongi’s voice_ that could keep me from closing my eyes completely any second now as he held onto me and my almost unresponsive body. _**But... but even if this was the end of the line for me, being in his arms for the last time... that was everything for me already. It was more than enough for me already, universe**_.

As her pulse was slowly dissipating, I had to catch and embrace Kolette in my quivering arms as she was also trying her hardest not to close her eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette! S-Stay with me...! D-Don’t you dare break your promise of being with me the longest time...!”  
“Y-Yoongi... d-don’t cry for me anymore... o-okay...?”  
“N-No Kolette...! D-Don’t do this to me...!”  
With more of my tears dripping down her face, Kolette just gave me her usual kindhearted smile as she used her last ounce of strength to touch my cheeks and say lastly,  
“ **I-If sleeping beauty can wake up with a kiss, you... you’re the only one who can finally put me to rest with a kiss, _the last kiss_ my genius-ssi**...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
“ _I... I love you_ Min Yoongi... I... I know this isn’t goodbye... so move on forward with your life without me, o-okay?”  
And as I kissed her on the lips for the last time as she had requested, I could only stare in numbness and in real pain as she lets go of her hand on my cheek and _I couldn’t see the green eyes I love anymore_. Checking her pulse and breathing, Kolette didn’t respond any longer.

_**And that’s when I knew, I had lost the love of my life in my arms.** _

_Kolette wasn’t with me anymore._  
I could only wail loudly as I embraced her now lifeless body firmly around my arms as she was in complete slumber. _Forever_.  
And not even the smile on her lips and the last signs of her tears were enough to make me feel better.

_**July 9th brought me back to her side.  
And it was on the same July 9th that she was taken away from me. Unconditionally.** _

_“I... I love you Min Yoongi... I... I know this isn’t goodbye... so move on forward with your life without me, o-okay?”_  
So... this is how it feels to lose the one person who’d meant the world to you huh?  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette... I... I love you too... _**f-forever and always**_...”

_In the very summer of July 9th, Kolette and I reached the film reel’s ending to our story... with an ending that I will never come to like for as long as I live while I stand on the **seesaw** alone from now on without any warning signs._

***  
 _Around two years later:  
Summer of 2019  
Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, England, United Kingdom_

 _BGM: exile (Taylor Swift, Bon Iver)_  
Two measly years passed by.  
But they were probably the longest years I’ve had to cope up with. More than those four years after we separated.

And once again, there was _no amount of crying I could any longer_. There was **_no amount of crying I could do to bring Kolette back_**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Who would’ve thought it’d be two years already huh, Kolette?”  
It was _July 9th_ again. And two years later, here I found myself talking to her as I sit down on the grass and also place down the _two bouquets of poppy flowers_. One for her and one for her father who’s right next to her.  
“It’s really the second summer without you... **I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day** too wherever you are, doctor noona.”  
It’s been two years since that summer Kolette slipped away. _Losing her took a toll on me_ , it still does at the moment, but I’m slowly moving forward just like I had promised her for the last time. _It wasn’t easy at all, to say the least_. Even the way I could still recall everything vividly what happened during these two years haunted me from time-to-time.

“...”  
I just threw my keys and closed the door behind me right after I arrived at my apartment. _It’s been a month since what happened_. I came home after Areum and Kolette’s closest colleagues did a memorial service in memory of her at the church.  
“C-Can’t believe they even made me play the piano and I agreed to do it too... tsk.”  
As much as I wanted to think that everything that happened was all a dream, it wasn’t. This was my hard, cruel reality. _**And Kolette wasn’t here anymore to hold my hand**_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“H-How am I supposed to deal with all of these without you, K-Kolette?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
Holly then came walking towards me while holding that nostalgic _silver necklace_ on his mouth.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’ll take care of it, I promise.”  
“H-Holly... w-why...”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
I guess it’s true. I guess it’s true that the pets don’t realize when their owner is gone. In literal sense. Looking into Holly’s eyes, it felt like his eyes were mirroring mine. _It had a very longing feeling written all over it.  
 **“Yoongi...!”**_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit...! S-She’s not coming back anymore Holly...! K-Kolette’s never... she’s never coming back...!”  
I threw the necklace in frustration as my tears took over me and I broke down for the countless time. And for the first time, Holly approached me while making whimpering sounds because of my screaming.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-I’m sorry for raising my voice right now Holly... come here...”  
As if he understood the sadness I was feeling, I just hugged him in my arms as I continued sobbing. **Holly became my one and visible remembrance of Kolette**. That’s why whatever Holly feels, it somehow reminds me of having that one woman by my side.  
“It somehow looks like the three of us... you, Holly, and I are a family, wouldn’t you think too, genius-ssi?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... I’ll take care of Holly no matter what, Kolette... that’s because we’re family, right boy?”  
“Arf!”  
After he budges out of my embrace, he again picks up the necklace and returns it to me before he drags me to her bedroom. The bedroom that still had a bit of Kolette’s scent lingering and made my heart crumble.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Holly what are you trying to...?”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
He then pointed to the familiar looking **scrapbook** by the nightstand. I haven’t had the guts to open it ever since Kolette passed away. Was Holly trying to tell me it’s time?  
“Holly... d-don’t tell me you...”  
“Arf!”  
Ruffling his head, I just took a deep breath in and out before I walked up to where the scrapbook was and sat by the end of the bed as Holly then jumped on and also sat right in between my lap.

 _BGM: Where you at (LOONA)_  
Scrolling through the _handwritten pages_ Kolette wrote herself and all the photos she had put in the scrapbook, it reminded me again. **It reminded me of my memories of her and the pain I was experiencing was the clear cut sign that I don’t ever regret any of my feelings for her**.  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“I know, you’re in here too Holly.”  
Page by page, another round of my tears cascade down, especially when I stop by the pages where she wrote about me and about us.  
 _“ **First impression of Min Yoongi**? He seemed very aloof at first and I felt like he was a perfectionist when it came to his piano playing, but after that day he went through all the trouble to bring back my student ID at the blood letting activity that same July 9th and wanted me to listen to his guitar playing at the library, he was more than the cold and indifferent genius piano player everyone thought he was. He’s more of the opposite of that for me.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette...”  
 _“ **How did I start developing feelings for him**? Hmm... as much as I’m embarrassed to say it, it was right when he gave me a ticket, inviting me to attend his piano competition. It took my best friend’s words to get through to me that I ended up having feelings for him though, because I was too reluctant of realizing it myself. And then who knew that Yoongi himself would confess to me right after his competition. I will never forget it. His confession in the middle of the empty stage at the Seoul Arts Center.”_  
It felt as if it was Kolette’s voice herself who was reading the words she had written about me right at this very second.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kolette you really...”  
 _“ **What is it you love about him**? About Min Yoongi? Would it be cliche if I said every little thing? The way he plays the piano and guitar, when he takes care of Holly as if he was his own little boy, the way he cooks for me even when I tell him he doesn’t need to, the way he hugs me and kisses me when I need to feel his warmth when I’m having troubling thoughts, the simple way he shows me support by listening to me ramble on and on when I have a bad day at the clinic, the list could go on and on as well... but most of all, I love how much he shines when he’s doing his music, because that’s the Min Yoongi I’ve known and come to love and will continue to love even with or without my memories. That’s why... I hope you don’t forget how much care and kindness that one man had shown you, dear self of mine. No matter what. Okay?”_  
I questioned the **universe** every single day if taking Kolette away was worth it, was separating us worth it all, was leaving me all by myself worth the pain and agony I have to bear.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why... why did it have to be Kolette... w-why take her instead of me...”  
As more of my teardrops dropped on the pages, Holly just gently nudged his head on my hands.  
“Sorry for crying so much, Holly...”  
And before I knew it, the very minute I reached the end of the scrapbook’s pages, my eyes couldn’t stop trembling along with my hands at what was written on _**the one last page.**_

> _July 9th, 2017:  
>  The last letter, for you, Yoongi.  
> Remember when I told you during the first time I wrote a letter to you, it would be my first and last? Well... it turned out to be a lie genius-ssi.  
> This. This is my last letter for you._
> 
> _And you’re probably going to read this when I’m already gone from your side by the **seesaw**._
> 
> _Yoongi... as much as it hurts, as much as it pains you to let go of me, as much as it won’t be easy for you to forget me after I’m leaving this world, don’t ever stop shining okay? You shine the most when you’re making music, when you’re playing the piano and or your guitar. Your piano playing was the very reason that connected me to you. And I hope it doesn’t become the reason why you’ll play and write only sad songs for the rest of your life._
> 
> _Genius-ssi... **you deserve to be happy understand**? Remember me when you’re happy, and not only in the mourning of your memory of us. Even though... even though life and the universe didn’t give us the ending we had wanted, I won’t ever let you forget that I don’t regret anything that occurred between us. **You are and will always be my homeland, wherever this life may take me**. Thank you for coming into my life in July 9th. And thank you for holding onto me until the same July 9th._
> 
> _Min Yoongi, live on. Understand? **You are allowed to grieve, but don’t let my absence stop you from living the rest of your life**. I just know you’ll have such a bright future ahead. Please... please don’t cry for me anymore. Cherish your tears for the happy memories, not the sad ones._
> 
> _Take care of our baby, **Holly** okay? I know you’ll never leave his side and you’ll cherish each other for the longest time even when I’m no longer around.  
> Tell **Areum** ‘I’m sorry’ for not telling her the truth because I know she’ll just break into tears and blame herself for not being able to do anything more in my situation.  
> And... tell my **mother** that I’ll be fine even when I’m not by her side, and that she’ll stay strong, and I’m going to take care of father in her place when I meet him soon in the afterlife.  
> Tell everyone who had played an important part of our story, ‘thank you’ in my stead especially **your family**. If it weren’t for them, I... I wouldn’t have been able to meet you at all._
> 
> _Yoongi... be it in the summer, fall, winter, or spring... be happy. You deserve that, genius-ssi._
> 
> _In case you miss me, read this **scrapbook**.  
> I did tell you another lie.  
> When I told you that I made this for myself, I lied.  
> This was for you. Only for you.  
>  **A sentimental proof that a man with cinnamon brown eyes named Min Yoongi and a woman with green eyes named Kolette, who came from two different phases of life, met up, fell in love, separated, got reunited, and got divided in the end because of the universe’s way really happened**._
> 
> _I love you, my genius-ssi.  
>  Even if this film’s ending wasn’t something we deserved, don’t stay on the **seesaw** alone anymore.  
> You’re free of this accursed July 9th._
> 
> _Now, it’s time for you to let go of me, Yoongi.  
>  Take care of yourself okay?  
> This isn’t goodbye, my once homeland._
> 
> _Your doctor noona and crown,  
>  Kolette_

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 ** _“Now, it’s time for you to let go of me, Yoongi.”_**  
“K-Kolette...”  
As my tears turned into loud cries, I hugged Holly and the scrapbook tightly around my arms while both of my hands gripped on tightly to the still glistening _silver pendant_ in my palms.

 _BGM: exile (Taylor Swift, Bon Iver) cont._  
Months later, I flew to _England_ to visit Kolette’s mother who had to move to her sister’s house because I couldn’t let her be by herself when her daughter and her husband were no longer around. _**Life went on** _just like Kolette had said. The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into years.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I came here with your mother too last year to visit you last _July 9th_. So many things have changed even in the last two years, Kolette.”  
I was still working at the label, but now I’ve been promoted to _head producer_ and I’m mostly producing music for all the contracted artists in the agency, plus I teach part time at _SNU_ as a music professor during the weekends. Areum was now the one who took over Kolette’s clinic because she didn’t want her best friend’s hard work to end up in naught.  
“I’ve been keeping myself busy just like you had always wanted me to... doctor noona. Everyone is. But I can’t help but miss you at times... weird, right?”  
Even though I know Kolette isn’t with me now, I pray she’s happy wherever she is as I lit up the scented candle I brought along with her bouquet telling her the last one important thing I’ve been wanting to tell her **_while picturing her smiling at me at my apartment’s kitchen every morning back then when I woke up,_**  
 _“Oh, you’re awake already? Here’s your usual coffee, Yoongi!”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Kolette... what would you say if I named my new coffee shop at Seoul after you? It sounds catchy right?”

 _“We all have our own ways of dealing with grief, genius-ssi...”_  
It still felt like **exile** without the one person whom I wanted to be with me the most, but that’s the way life was. Nevertheless, as much as she had put a smile on my face every time she made coffee for me in the morning, _**I’m going to pass that smile and memory on through my new coffee shop named “Kolette’s.”**_

_And I too hope you’ll pass on this story, just like your grandmother did and never forget it as well, Kayla._

****  
 _Summer of 2020:_  
 _Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: Always In My Heart (JOY, Lim Seul Ong)_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why... w-why did it end like this...?”  
A few teardrops glided down my cheeks as I reached the end of the second story. I snapped close the red book in an instant and threw it behind me in grievance of that ending. _First it was about my grandparents’ sad story and now it was such a sad ending for grandmother’s doctor_.  
“F-First it was **fate** and next was the **universe**... does the saying, love conquers all a lie after all grandmama...?”

As I hugged my knees while still stuck in my own thoughts and tears by the beachside, I was surprised the second I heard a voice being carried by the summer breeze that echoed going,  
“Mademoiselle Kayla?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
That voice. As soon as I glanced back to see where the voice was coming from, my _hazel ones_ found those _bright, brown eyes_ I haven’t seen since that day at the ice cream shop.  
“M-Monsieur Hope?”  
He then immediately noticed the **red book** that was now covered by sand and picked it up on cue as she walked up to me.  
“W-Wait... doesn’t this belong to you? A-And were you just crying right now?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
How did he know?  
“H-How did you know?”  
Hoseok then didn’t hesitate to sit a few centimeters right beside me saying as he dusted off the sand from the red book saying,  
“That’s because your _light hazel eyes_ look a bit swollen right now obviously. And didn’t you say that this **red book** are two of the most important things to you?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I guess my tears are that obvious huh...”  
Accepting the red book from him, I just let out a long sigh as I told him,  
“I’m just frustrated, that’s all...”  
“What do you mean?”  
After reading two of the stories in the red book my grandmother gave me, _I still had no idea what the stories were trying to tell me_. **I had so many questions**. But the people I want to ask them about are either so far away while one was someone I had no idea of where he is for years.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur... I still have no concrete idea why my grandmama gave me this book in the first place... after I finished the _second story_ just now, instead of having answers, I had more questions now...”  
“Knowing how grandma Keira had a _one-of-a-kind_ personality, there must be a **valuable reason** why she gave you that book, Mademoiselle Kayla.”  
“Monsieur Hope...”  
Not expecting to hear those words from someone I just met in an ice cream shop a few days ago, my lips unknowingly turned to a smile as I told him,  
“Merci, monsieur. You’re right. It does seem you were close with grandmama too huh?”  
Hoseok just laughed shyly as he said,  
“Let’s just say grandma Keira had been there for me in the past. So I take the red book contains stories she had written then?”  
Now that was a weird change of subject. Judging from how his bright brown eyes suddenly turned a bit saddened in my view, it must be a touchy subject. Trying not to let it get to me, I just nodded and answered his question.  
“Oui... grandmama says the **_seven stories_** written here will open up my eyes more to what the world is all about... but the people behind the stories, the people I want to question, aren’t so easy to find...”  
“Then, find them. **_If you want answers to your questions, you find resolutions instead of waiting in vain for something, like a sign, that isn’t going to solve anything_**.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I could only blink in awe of what the young man beside me had just said.  
“E-Even if that person that has the answers to my questions lives far away and the other one is someone I don’t have any contact with?”  
Hoseok then started massaging his chin as he thought to himself for a few more minutes before he said,  
“Then start with the most plausible one. How far does this person you’re looking for live? And where?”  
He was right. **If I wanted answers, pondering endlessly to myself wasn’t going to help**. _I needed to find the answers I wanted for myself_. Even if it meant I have to do things I’m not used to, I’m not going to wait in vain grandmother. Nervously gulping to myself, it felt like I could be honest to Hoseok about anything. Ever since at that day at the ice cream shop, after he had told me that he knew my grandmother, it felt like an _unforeseen, budding connection_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ _ **Seoul**_. In Seoul, South Korea.”  
His brown eyes then widened at the mention of Seoul that I couldn’t help but gasp in disbelief too of the next question that then came out of us mouth.  
“Seoul...? Then... do you want to come back to Seoul with me a week from now?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”

 _Was this a simple coincidence?_  
Or was this the work of an _invisible string_ that was tying our tangled existences to one another?  
Whatever it was, I needed to know for myself. I needed to see the place where my grandfather was from to find traces of where he could be. And I needed to see the place too where that man Min Yoongi was from to find the real reason why grandmother wanted me to have this red book.

 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’ll come with you to Seoul, Monsieur Hope.”  
But overall, there was one thing I know about my grandmother. These stories she passed on to me, _**I’ll always keep them in my heart**_. No matter what.

_It may be an end to another chapter of the story, yet it made way for a new one to unfold right before my very eyes._

****  
 _— end of Min Yoongi’s story arc —_  
 _ **To be continued.**_

~~_finished: 11/17/2020_ ~~


	5. the 1: a Kim Seokjin story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> august: a Kim Namjoon story (Keira and Namjoon’s POV’s)  
> exile (the last kiss) : a Min Yoongi story (Kolette and Yoongi’s POV’s)  
> the 1: a Kim Seokjin story (Seokjin’s POV only)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! :)
> 
> Kaila here. 😣  
> Happy 2021 everyone!  
> It’s been a while since my last chapter right?
> 
> Sorry for the very delayed part of Seokjin’s story. ^^
> 
> 💜 I cannot believe I’m almost halfway already with this whole series, it’s been a wild, emotional, rollercoaster ride 💜
> 
> 🚨 before you proceed with the 1, PLEASE BE SURE YOU HAVE READ “august” BEFOREHAND BECAUSE Namjoon’s story plays a VERY IMPORTANT ROLE IN Seokjin’s story 🚨
> 
> don’t say I didn’t say I didn’t warn you 💗
> 
> Now on with the story! 🥺

**_the 1: a Kim Seokjin story_ **

_Summer of 2020:_   
_Incheon International Airport_   
_Seoul, South Korea_

_BGM: Stairs in the North (GFRIEND)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-So... t-this is really...”  
“Don’t tell me this is your first time at Seoul, Mademoiselle Kayla?”  
The minute Hoseok and I stepped out of the airport and felt the summer breeze welcoming us, my heart and eyes couldn’t stop shaking in pure awe of the sight I was witnessing for the first time. I’ve seen all of Europe and even a bit of the other parts of the world, but it was a different feeling... to be at a place that held so much stories... stories that I’ve read through what my grandmother had passed down to me.  
“Y-Yes. This is my first time.”  
“Really? Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go and find the people you’re looking for!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My chest started thumping loudly the second Hoseok took me by the hand and started running towards the taxi lane at the airport. The two of us will only be here for mostly two weeks, it was still unbelievable for me to be honest... but, if this was going to bring me closer to the answers I’m searching for, about my grandmother, my grandfather, and the reason of the red book’s meaning I was entrusted with, I had to take a leap of faith.

 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...?”  
As we were running, I couldn’t help but feel a bizarre feeling and goosebumps rising on my skin the moment a tall, unfamiliar old man happened to pass by my line of sight. An old man with **mysterious brown eyes**. Yet, I was too late to run after that man and just froze entirely.  
“Mademoiselle Kayla? What’s wrong?”  
Trying to shake off the eerie emotions and my heart beating uncomfortably, I just forced out a smile to Hoseok’s bright brown eyes saying,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“N-No... it’s nothing. My eyes may have just played tricks on me right now... I hope...”  
Why did it feel like even though I haven’t seen those brown eyes before, I was getting this heavy gut feeling that I happen to know them?  
“It can’t be that person... right... grandmama?”  
I just whispered that question to myself as we both got into the taxi.

 _A few hours later:_  
After we dropped off mine and Hoseok’s things at the place we were staying at for the rest of our visit here, he and I then went searching for that one cafe mentioned in the last story I’ve read in the red book. The one cafe named **_Kolette’s._**  
“I think it’s around here.”  
“Why am I getting this feeling that this isn’t your first time at this street?”  
As soon as we reached our destination, my eyes couldn’t believe I was finally here. I was standing right outside of the place I’d never find myself to even reach.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m not dreaming right now... r-right, monsieur Hope?”  
Hoseok then looked at me with a beaming smile as he then opened up the cafe’s door for me saying,  
“Mademoiselle Kayla... this isn’t a dream okay? We’re really here. We’re really at the place that can hopefully answer your questions.”  
“Haaa... let’s get this over then.”  
When I entered through the doors and we were both greeted by the hearty ring of the bell and the feel-at-home aroma lingering around, another sound then greeted us on cue.  
“Arf! Arf!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You’re...”  
A fluffy, brown silhouette’s barking then rang in our ears. Yet, it wasn’t just any other ordinary dog I was seeing in front of my very hazel eyes. He was no other than,  
“Y-You’re H-Holly-ssi...”  
“Arf! Arf!”  
“Holly? What’s gotten you so energetic right n—?”  
And right then and there, my heart felt like it wanted to jump out of my chest and my eyes didn’t want to stop trembling at the soft, deep voice that then echoed my hearing and his **cinnamon brown eyes** then caught mine on perfect timing as if it were a scene from the stories I’ve read. The silhouette of the man with the black hair.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur Min Yoongi?”  
“It couldn’t be... you’re Miss Keira’s...”  
Even if Hoseok had told me how many times now that I wasn’t dreaming or anything, but no matter how many times, it still felt surreal and scary all at the same time. How I was now standing in front of the very man, the very man who I was reading about just a week ago. One of the reasons why I shedded plenty of tears too.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yes... I’m her. I’m Kayla, Monsieur Min.”

“I hope tea is okay with you, Kayla-ssi.”  
“A-Ah, no need to worry about that, Monsieur Min. And sorry for the hassle since I can’t drink coffee too.”  
“Please call me Yoongi. No need to be too formal with me, Kayla-ssi. Only your grandmother is the exception to that. And I guess it does run in your grandmother’s part of the family that you don’t like coffee.”  
As he placed down a cup of tea for me, it didn’t feel like I just met the man who was now sitting right across from me for the first time.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“It feels inappropriate to call you so informally just on the first meeting...”  
“You’re really just like your grandmother, Kayla-ssi. Isn’t she, Hoseok-ah?”  
My surprised gaze then went straight to the boy sitting right beside him whose **bright brown eyes** then turned wide as if he was caught red handed.  
“J-Jeez Yoongi hyung really... that was supposed to be a secret.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You two know each other?”  
Before I knew it, Holly then jumped up on the chair as Hoseok then rubbed his head while telling me,  
“Weirdly, yes. I didn’t know how to react when you told me you wanted to go to _**Kolette’s**_ , to this very place. I didn’t know how I was supposed to tell you that I happened to know Yoongi hyung here, as well.”  
It is indeed strange. How many more secrets have you been hiding from me all these years grandmama? How many more times am I going to feel that every single thing happening right now was all in your plan?  
“I bet Kayla-ssi’s just as surprised as all of us are. Isn’t that why you came all the way here from France, right?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur Yoongi...”  
“I know you have a lot of questions, Kayla-ssi. But... if you’re going to ask me the real reason why your grandmother wanted you to read her story, even mine and Kolette’s story, I... I can’t give you the answers you’re looking for.”  
“Yoongi hyung...”  
It’s only been a day since I’ve arrived here at Seoul, but... was this long trip all for nothing? Was... was I going to go back with more questions instead of answers once again?  
“I see... but, I’m not going to give up. I knew my grandmother didn’t want me to stop the moment she had decided to leave me this red book.”  
Yoongi’s brown eyes then stared at me in silence. It was as if I made him remember something or maybe even the someone whose big portrait was displayed in the very center of the whole cafe. The smiling woman with the _**red brown hair and green eyes**_ _in her doctor’s uniform and had that glistening silver necklace around her neck_. Not to mention, a framed golden medal was also being hanged in the wall—yes, it was the very medal mentioned in their story.  
“You two would’ve been sisters indeed just like your grandmother had once said. Sisters from different families, you and Kolette.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur...”  
“There’s only one thing I can tell you, Kayla-ssi. I know... I know your grandmother wouldn’t include our story without valuable reason. I know that Kolette would have said the same thing too. That’s why, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and confused. You’ll find those answers. I know you will. Just like... just like how I found the answers to why Kolette was taken by the universe from me.”  
As my hazel eyes then noticed the familiar necklace on the portrait that was now on Holly’s collar tag, this very place... this very place called Kolette’s reminded me of the woman I had read about, but wished I had met instead. And immediately, my gaze then went to the _white, upright piano_ right below Kolette’s portrait as I didn’t hesitate to ask,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Monsieur, will you let me?”  
Yoongi just nodded and Hoseok gave me a small smile before I excused myself and walked towards the piano and sat down on the piano stool. Placing my fingers on the keys, I took a deep breath to myself before I started playing only one song I had in mind. The song called _Last Kiss_ from that story.

“It looks like those years of grumbling over why I had to learn piano and violin because of what mother wanted... was worth it after all huh grandmama?”  
I whispered to myself right after I had finished the last note on the piano. And then, the whole cafe then started clapping. From Yoongi, to Hoseok, and even the other customers. I could almost feel a bit of the tears forming around my eyes as I looked around. And then, there it was again. _The goosebumps_. The goosebumps I had felt back at the airport when I met up with those _mysterious brown eyes_ whose silhouette was standing right by the cafe’s entrance.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-It can’t be...”  
Realizing we caught each other’s gazes, the person with those brown eyes then exited the cafe in a hurry. I knew I couldn’t let that person get away for the second time around.  
“M-Mademoiselle Kayla!”  
“Kayla-ssi!”  
Ignoring Hoseok and Yoongi’s voices calling out to me, I made a run out of the cafe’s doors and chased after the silhouette of that mystery old man. Hoping... just hoping that my gut feelings weren’t going to make a complete fool out of me by the end of this day.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-It couldn’t be you right...? Grandfather...!”

 _BGM: Evening Sky (AILEE)_  
When I finally managed to catch up to him standing by the end of the street while waiting for the traffic lights to turn red, I tried to catch my breath first before I said from a distance,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Are you... are you someone I know monsieur?”  
“It looks like you finally found me at long last, Kayla dear.”  
The very minute that person turned around, my light hazel eyes stared eye-to-eye, even with the short distance between us, at the mysterious brown eyes I happened to see at the airport hours ago. He just smiled at me handsomely. _How can an old man still look this handsome in his age?_ But then, with just one smile from him, it hits me like thunder.  
“Y-You’re...”  
“Sadly dear one, I’m not your grandfather named Namjoon if that’s what you’re going to say next.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
It hits me just now. There were no hint of dimples from his smile. _The handsome and tall old man standing in front of me wasn’t my grandfather_. But somehow... I knew at the back of my mind who he was. There could only be one other man with the brown eyes that I had happened to stumble upon in my grandmother’s words in the story of **august**.  
“Y-You’re grandfather’s close friend... you’re...”  
“Yes my precious goddaughter. I’m Seokjin Kim. It’s really me. It’s finally good to see you face-to-face after all these years. You’ve grown up beautifully.”  
I wouldn’t have expected in the slightest that the person I had thought would be my grandfather himself turned out to be someone I didn’t expect to see here in _Seoul_ altogether under the summer night sky.

“It looks like fate’s timing is really a funny thing for it to bring you to me just like I had hoped.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“D-Don’t tell me...”  
“You and I meeting here isn’t a simple coincidence my dear goddaughter. And you’ll know soon enough when you reach the third part of the story.”  
From his words, I knew. I knew the _handsome old man with the mysterious brown eyes_ that had me feeling I was being watched from afar since back at the airport, he was the next person.

The next person to be unfolded in the red book’s pages I had left at the coffee shop called **_“Kolette’s.”_**

And yes, with more accidental answers, more deliberate questions arose. _Yet now, the threaded dots were connecting slowly_. However also, I wasn’t going to be prepared at the very least of what I was in stored for as the story opened to a new chapter.

****  
 _BGM: Evening Sky (AILEE) cont._

> _For the summer of 2020:_   
>  _Dearest Kayla._   
>  _My goddaughter._
> 
> _You might be reading this once we’ve met already for the first time all these years. Yet believe me, this isn’t the first time we met Kayla._
> 
> _Would you even believe me if I even tell you that I knew this was going to happen? You finding me? In Seoul of all places too?_
> 
> _Would you even believe this crazy old man if I knew this was going to happen years beforehand?_   
>  **_Would you believe me if I could see a bit of the future?_ **   
>  _Sounds preposterous right dear one?_
> 
> _That’s exactly what I had felt back when I was around your age—wait no, even younger. Like little epiphanies, I’d see a person’s future when I look deeply into their eyes as if I was staring into their very souls._
> 
> _You’d think that sounds amazing and really out of this world... but let me tell you Kayla, it isn’t. Having the ability to look into someone’s future isn’t a blessing. It felt like a curse to me. A looping curse given to me by fate or even the universe._
> 
> _That’s why I wasn’t the type of person who’d let people easily into my life, because I knew. I knew when and how long they were going to be a part of my life. I knew if they were actually going to be someone of importance to me or not. **What’s the use of investing feelings and emotions to people who are easily going to walk out of your life, right?**_
> 
> _But how would you react my dear one if you were in my place and you’d happen to meet **the 1** person you couldn’t easily see their future even no matter how many times you look deeply into their eyes? You’d think, ah this is the person. This is the person whom you thought you’d never get to meet so easily. The once-in-a-lifetime type of person and meeting._
> 
> _Nevertheless, **just like in august and exile** , meeting the 1 doesn’t exactly guarantee you a happy ending beneath the happy beginnings._
> 
> _Because the 1 unforeseen person fate or the universe had brought to my life, **the 1 person I couldn’t see their future, was the same person that I had no future guaranteed with.**_
> 
> _This story is about a woman with the **most extraordinary pair of baby blue eyes** I had ever laid eyes on, along with her **honey blonde hair** , meeting a man who didn’t believe in the ludicrous things called fate and love._
> 
> _Have you watched the movie called “ **Roman Holiday** ,” Kayla?_   
>  _This story is almost like a recollection of that movie._   
>  _Yet obviously my dear, **the endings of the greatest films of all time were never made**._
> 
> _**And all the greatest loves of all time are over now**._
> 
> _This story is about a woman who goes by the title named Princess Kyra, and a man who just simply sees a little bit of the future and goes by the name, Kim Seokjin._

***  
 _Around late 1960‘s:_  
 _Cambridge University_  
 _Cambridge, England, United Kingdom_

 _BGM: Swim Away (SEJEONG)_  
“Come on Namjoon-ah...”  
“I’d rather bury myself in the Constitution than be at another college party. Now if you don’t mind, I need to finish this dissertation hyung.”  
I don’t know why I was close with someone as humorless and prudish as _Kim Namjoon_ from the college of law was, but I guess close friends do come from the strangest places indeed. Especially when I looked into his _deep brown eyes_ , behind those spectacles of his, for the first time around last year here at the library, I knew that our strange friendship would go a long way. He didn’t feel the need to be prim and proper in front of me and stab me behind the back because he was already very straightforward with me upfront. And I liked that mostly about him. A real, genuine young man who was my junior.  
“You’re going to graduate here at Cambridge without even landing at least one single lady... jeez.”  
“Don’t worry, I have criminal law and civil procedures to keep me company. And they are ladies I really need to pass with flying colors.”  
The two of us would hang out mostly during our free time, well... it was more of myself disturbing him when he’s trying to study at the library most of the time. He was a law major while I was an acting major. Weird right? But after knowing that we were both from _Seoul, South Korea_ , the two of us instantly clicked as friends.  
“Ah don’t give me the law school talk again, Namjoon-ah. I’d rather be a free spirit, to see the world, than having to shackle myself to public service for the rest of my life.”  
“Whatever you say, Jin hyung. Now pass me that book.”  
“Sheesh, you’re lucky I like you Namjoon-ah.”  
“I know. I know the ladies like you too as well, hyung.”

While the two of us were busy joking around with each other, the two of us could only blink in surprise the moment a loud, shouting voice then echoed the entire library.  
“Seokjin!!! You fool!”  
“Uh oh...”  
“Jin hyung... not again...”  
Before we both knew it, the shouting voice which belonged to a woman with upset looking brown eyes, then stood in front of the table we were sitting at and boom, she slapped me right on my left cheek. And man, did it hurt. I guess?  
“I-I hate you! D-Did you really just think it was okay to break up with me through a blasted sticky note?! W-We are over you jerk!”  
The young woman’s eyes then turned teary eyed as she crumpled the small piece of paper she was holding and threw it right to my face before she stomped out of the library sobbing. And of course, all wandering eyes and curious whispers then landed at me on cue.  
“Okay... I did not expect that to happen at all today. I really thought she would break it off with me a bit later...”  
Namjoon could only sigh as he shook his head in disbelief while taking off his glasses.  
“Jin hyung really... that’s the third one this week already. Are you really going to make all the ladies here in Cambridge cry over you being—sorry for the term, by being a _prick_?”  
Did I forget to mention that I was infamous for being the top _lady’s killer_ here at the university? Yes, I was a real cynic when it came to relationships and the bullshits like fate and love. When you can glimpse into people’s futures, you tend to... know... who’s just a pawn to your life or who’s really here to stay. Namjoon was more of the latter. The woman just now, well she was more of the former obviously.  
“Ouch. It’s the first time in all of our years of friendship for you to call me something as vulgar as that, Namjoon-ah.”  
“Oh please hyung, don’t give me that crap talk. We’ve been friends for mostly only a year too. Sometimes I do think that being the ‘ _university’s lady killer_ ’ title has gotten straight to your head.”  
Namjoon was really a logical kind of guy. He was the right balance to my quite illogical situation. Seeing people’s futures? Now that’s crazy talk and I guess juggling different casual relationships was a way for me... to let off steam sometimes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“N-Namjoon-ah... if I told you I could see glimpses into people’s futures when I look into their eyes, would you even believe me?”  
He’d just chuckle on cue at my rather absurd question and make those dimples of his pop out. He really was a good catch for the ladies but he was too studious and serious that he’d rather be burying his head into his law books instead of being in a relationship. I have utmost respect him for that though.  
“No matter how far fetched that sounds Jin hyung, I wouldn’t put it past you. But hyung really, a piece of advice—no, it’s more of a question...”  
“Okay? I’m listening.”  
His next question completely left me off guard.  
“Hyung, I know you don’t believe in love and all, but what if you meet someone who makes you believe in the opposite of that? What would you do?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“What if you meet someone who makes you believe in the opposite of that?”_  
Kim Namjoon was really a smartass. And I knew too. I knew that he was going to be one heck of a lawyer the moment he graduates and passes the gruesome bar examination.  
“I never thought I’d get to hear something so illogically inclined from you, Namjoon-ah. And you’re a virgin too when it comes to relationships.”  
“Shut it hyung. That’s not a priority for me at the moment. Although if I do get to meet someone like that, I think... I think I’d never let that person go.”  
“Well, how awfully romantic of you future lawyer. I’m looking forward to you eating those words out of your own mouth in the near future.”  
“Same to you, Jin hyung.”  
I thought Namjoon and I were almost the same in the relationship department. Myself being a complete skeptic of what love and fate really are, whilst Namjoon was just too uninterested at it.

Both of that held true all the way until we both had graduated and he had became a lawyer already. But then, one day... one day during _the winter of 1973_ , months before he was about to move to the main city of London for his new job, I saw a glimpse of his future. _A future of where he had met a woman with the **gray eyes** who was about to change his life_. Forever.

And ironically, mine as well.

***  
 _Winter of 1974:_  
 _Paris, France_

 _BGM: Infinite loop (Baek A Yeon)_  
“Jin hyung, this is mademoiselle Keira.”  
“It’s finally an honor to meet you, monsieur.”  
I still could remember the first time I met the very first woman that captured Namjoon’s undivided attention. And I couldn’t blame him, especially when you look at those pair of _baffling gray eyes_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“The honor is all mine, Miss Keira.”  
You could say it was also the first time I’ve felt I had a simple little crush over the woman who had called me “ _monsieur_ ” so endearingly for the first time. Yet, when I was watching how the woman named Keira looked at Namjoon as if he was her whole life and he looked at her the same way, I knew my little crush was better off extinguished in a snap. I could easily tell from both of their eyes that they were each other’s _soulmates_. And I was better off being the usual nonbeliever in love.  
“I guess I can understand now why Namjoon-ah is so smitten with you, mademoiselle.”  
“M-Monsieur Jin...”  
“Don’t you dare, Jin hyung!”  
As long as my closest friend was happy with the love of his life that he unexpectedly found _because of a bike mishap_ , who was I not to be happy for him? Right?  
“It looks like you’ve found your **_the 1_** huh, Namjoon-ah? You were the first one between us both. I told you so.”  
“Your _**the 1**_ is going to come one way or another, I just know it monsieur Jin.”  
“Keira’s right, hyung. And when you’ll find her, I’ll be the one to tell you I told you so as well.”  
Looking at both Namjoon and Keira made me a bit jealous to be honest. Even though I could see a bit of the future, I was still human nonetheless. And being human, I wanted to cling to the little hope that someone like myself... _someone like myself who doesn’t believe in love will share a once-in-lifetime connection with another person_.  
“Oh please, don’t you two jinx on me by saying that now.”

But then, another little epiphany came to me right before that first meeting had ended. And it wasn’t a pleasant scene to see... especially if it was a scene of Keira’s gray eyes filled with tears while gazing at the sky after a plane took off. And a scene of Namjoon’s tears cascading down to a small red box he took out of his pocket while staring up at the night sky.

**_And that was how I knew that no matter how much two people had loved each other, fate will always find its way to intervene._ **

And that was how no matter how much I wanted to tell him, to warn him, I couldn’t intervene. I couldn’t do a single thing, even with Keira herself asking me if I knew where Namjoon was right after he left that _cruel summer of 1975_. I couldn’t be honest with her when she needed it the most.

And that was my horrible price to pay for being able to glimpse at someone else’s future without any warning.

That’s why... that’s why even being a real witness to what happened between Keira and Namjoon’s love story that twisted out for a tragic turn, it made me resent fate and the universe all over again.

And reminded me too once again, _I’ll remain a cynic over love and fate for the rest of my life_. However... not even my weird ability could forewarn me of what was about to happen soon.

On the summer of 1976 itself, _**a wish from simply throwing a penny at the fountain**_ would change my whole life’s course.

***  
 _Summer of 1976:_  
 _Madonna Verona Fountain_  
 _Verona, Italy_

> _BGM: A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Eyedi)_   
>  _Dear Jin hyung,_   
>  _How are you?_   
>  _I’m writing from Seoul; and who would’ve thought it’d already be a year since that summer I was with you at Verona huh?_
> 
> _It’s been a year already since the treacherous summer that changed everything._
> 
> _I hope you’ll forgive me for not telling you beforehand the real reason why I had to leave hyung._   
>  _And I hope you’ll forgive me too for asking you to not tell Keira anything. Please._
> 
> _I... I don’t think I’ll ever have the right again to see her, Jin hyung._
> 
> _Anyway, that went to a gloomy turn huh?_   
>  _Geong Min and my parents send their regards to you, hyung._   
>  _Hoping Italy is treating you right even now._
> 
> _Even if I know deep down, you don’t believe in love and the bullshit that comes with it... I’m writing this letter to you in pure hope too that as much as summer is a reminder of the best and worst memories in my life, you’ll find those kind of memories as well Jin hyung._
> 
> **_Because memories are what makes us human. The good and the bad of it all._ **
> 
> _Don’t think that because of what happened to Keira and I is going to hold you back from finding **the 1** in your life._
> 
> _No matter how dreadful you feel at that happening, it’s bound to happen one way or another hyung._   
>  _And when that happens, don’t run away from it. Just like what I did._
> 
> _If you’re ever in Seoul, don’t hesitate to write to me._   
>  _Until the next letter then, Jin hyung. Take care._   
>  _— Namjoon_

_*thump* *thump*_  
“Namjoon-ah...”  
It’s been a year already huh? It’s been a year since that day I witnessed Namjoon making for the first time, in all the years I’ve known him, a very distraught expression. And how he disappeared without a trace right after. But I knew... I knew he went back to Seoul. I knew everything that then happened between him and Keira. And yes, I still felt guilty by just being a third party who knew everything but couldn’t do one single thing about it.  
“I’m so pathetic... being able to see the future and letting my closest friend and the most important person to him down... fuck you fate for intervening really.”  
As I was cursing the universe again to my own self and folded the letter Namjoon had sent to me, I was walking around in _Piazza Erbe_ at the late summer morning when my brown eyes couldn’t help but stop and gaze at the giggling kids chasing each other around the huge fountain in the middle of the plaza in broad daylight.  
“Ehi! Hey! Give me my coins back!”  
“Non ci credo! No way! Catch me if you can first~”  
“It must be nice to be that young and innocent without a care in the world...”  
As my lips turned to a small smile, the next silhouette that then caught my sight made me completely stop on my tracks. The figure belonged to a **_honey blonde haired_** woman. I couldn’t see her eyes from a distance. But she was wearing a _black-and-white plaid, knee length dress, paired with her white pump heels, plus her short, white satin gloves, and completing it with those oval shaped, pearl earrings of hers_. It was the first time I’ve seen someone dressed like her in town. And trust me, I’ve seen most of this town’s population of ladies already ever since I moved here.  
“Hmm? Why is she standing so eagerly near the fountain? A tourist huh?”  
While I was taking to myself, one of the kids’ coins then fell out of his small hands and rolled straight towards the mysterious woman’s heels.  
“Um...”  
“Questo è tuo, little boy?”  
As the boy nodded, she then didn’t hesitate to kneel to the little child’s height level and take off her _wide brim, summer, floppy straw hat_ before gently grabbing the coin he dropped and giving it back to him on cue with a smile. Her smile was very genial. And right then and there from a short distance, I laid my eyes on the woman’s blue eyes. _**Such magnetic, baby blue eyes**_. And for some stupid reason, my chest started accelerating like a fool.  
“Grazie signorina...”  
“Prego.”  
Just like the little boy, I too couldn’t find it in me to avert my gaze away from those baby blue eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Tell me... is there something special about this fountain?”  
“Oh, you don’t know signorina? This fountain is magic~ like it can grant wishes like a genie!”  
Before she then knew it, the little boy’s friend also came up to them and she instantly enthralled them both with her smile and blue eyes.  
“Davvero? That’s amazing to know then. Are you two making a wish?”  
“What an odd woman...”  
I whispered to the summer air as the two kids then exclaimed in reply,  
“Uh huh!”  
“Why don’t you make a wish too with us, pretty signorina?”  
One of them then handed over a penny to her as she kindly pats both kids at the back of their heads saying,  
“Grazie. I’ll use this penny wisely then.”

As she waved goodbye to the two kids happily after a few more passing conversations, the woman with the blue eyes then got up from her kneeling position and faced the fountain without hesitation while staring deeply at the penny on her right hand.  
“Don’t tell me she really believed whatever those two kids had told her?”  
“There’s nothing wrong with believing in children’s innocent wisdom, wouldn’t you think signore?”  
I didn’t expect that our eyes, _her baby blue ones and my brown ones_ , would then meet in perfect timing. Her voice also being carried perfectly in the summer’s breeze as she stared at me with a slightly amused smile forming on her lips.  
 _*thump*_  
“Innocent wisdom huh? Well, to me, it’s more of a carefree innocence. Carefree without any doubt.”  
She just smiled in silence before focusing her gaze back towards the fountain and the penny in her right hand’s palm as I found myself unknowingly walking up to her side.

We just stood there in silence together as we listened to the sounds of the water flowing from the fountain underneath the summer sky in Italy.  
“Ho deciso. I’ve decided!”  
“What?”  
My eyes could only start shaking the moment the mystery woman then put clasped both of her hands together and closed her eyes before she then didn’t hesitate to _throw the penny she was holding in her palm flying towards the fountain_.  
“Voglio essere libero per una volta...”  
 ** _“I wish to be free for once...”_**  
“...”  
As soon as she was done with her sentence, the penny plopped to the water and started sinking to the bottom slowly. Judging from her accent, she was purely _Italian_. Maybe she’s not a tourist after all then?  
“Would it be weird of me to ask you what wish did you make to the fountain, signora?”  
“È un segreto, signore brown eyes. It won’t come true if I told you, don’t you think so?”  
Her light chuckle then echoed my hearing that was being mixed with the sound of water flowing. What an odd woman. But the thing that was bothering me the most was... no matter how many times we both meet eyes... no matter how many times now I snatch gazes with her baby blue eyes, _**there was nothing**. No little epiphany. No sudden glimpse of the future. Her future._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“R-Right. Silly of me to even ask, signora.”  
“No. I don’t mind the silly question though, signore. It... it feels refreshing to talk to someone informally for a long while.”  
What did she mean? For a weird reason, her blue eyes out of the blue turned sadden in my point of view. Was there more to her words just now? Feeling my curiosity creep in, I was about to ask her,  
“Signora, will it be weird of me to ask you as well your n—-?!”  
But when I was on my last syllable, both of us could only flinch the second unfamiliar voices then entered the scene on cue.  
“Eccola lì! There she is!”  
“She was here all along!”  
The voices came from two men in black suits. It looks like they were chasing something... no, more like they were and still are chasing _someone_. And that someone was no other than the woman standing right in front of me.  
“Haaaa... sembra che sia stato trovato. Looks like my cover’s been blown already.”  
“W-What do you...?”  
As the two men then rushed towards our direction, she then didn’t hesitate to take both of my hands and placed something in my palms before she looked up at my brown eyes with her baby blue eyes for one last time before saying with a slightly crushed smile,  
“The two kids accidentally gave me two pennies. Why don’t you make a wish too, signore? Who knows... maybe it’ll come true too when you need it the most?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wait...!”  
“Questo è addio! Goodbye signore brown eyes. I’ll leave that penny with you for now!”  
And before I could even ask for her name, the mysterious woman with baby blue eyes then ran as the men in suits then chased after her. But of course she was faster than them even when she was running in her heels. Really again, _what an odd woman I must say_.  
“Who was that woman really?”  
Being chased by men in suits too... what kind of woman did I just talk to?

As I was deep in my own thoughts’ inner monologues, my eyes then went to the **penny** now in my right hand.  
 _“Why don’t you make a wish too, signore? Who knows... maybe it’ll come true too when you need it the most?”_  
“A wish huh?”  
With a long sigh, I don’t know what brought it in me to follow whatever that blue eyed woman had to tell me... but... for the first time... for the first time ever since I’ve had the ability to see someone else’s future, _I’ve suddenly met someone whom I couldn’t their future_. And for the first time too, I couldn’t help but recall Namjoon’s words echoing at the back of my head.  
 _“Jin hyung, if you do happen to meet someone whom you could call your the 1, what would you do?”_  
 ** _The 1 huh?_** Don’t you think it’s pretentious of someone like me to even hope for that Namjoon-ah? Even after all of the crying women I’ve caused throughout these years, I gripped tightly on to the penny in my hand’s palm before throwing it to the fountain without uncertainty any longer.  
 _“There’s nothing wrong with believing in children’s innocent wisdom, wouldn’t you think signore?”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Looks like we’re both believers now in children’s innocent wisdom, signora with the blue eyes.”  
Just like how she had wished to be free, I wished for the same thing as well. **_To be free_**. To be free from the shackles of this ability that causes nothing but pain not only for me, but also to those who stay too close to me. And maybe this hope was now possible... and it was all because I met someone whom I locked eyes with and nothing like the usual glimpses and epiphanies happened. To me, that was already a little sign that meant so much.

I just didn’t realize that _timing and the universe_ already meant that little sign to be something so much more than I could even imagine and even foresee... most especially the identity of the woman of the baby blue eyes herself.

***  
 _The next day:_  
 _Madonna Verona Fountain_  
 _Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: A Lot Like Love (Baek A Yeon)_  
Like some weird dejavu, by that same fountain, at around the same time as yesterday, there was that familiar silhouette with the honey blonde hair by the fountain again.  
 _“I’ll leave that penny with you for now!”_  
But this time around, she wasn’t staring deeply at the fountain alone. She was sitting by the fountain, painting while being surrounded by a group of little kids around her.  
“Signora! Signora! How come you’re so good at painting?!”  
“Uh huh! È così bella come te!”  
Her blue eyes glimmered under the morning summer sky being reflected in the water as she laughed heartily at the children’s remarks.  
“Hmmm... let’s see... it must be because I love painting more than anything else. It makes me feel... free.”  
I didn’t think I’d see her here again, especially not after what happened yesterday. As if sensing someone staring at her direction, our gazes found each other’s from a short distance. She smiled on cue as if she had also recognized me from yesterday as well.  
“I didn’t think I’d see you here again at this place, signora.”  
Those were the only words my mouth could let out as I approached her the second she was alone and the kids all left the scene just in time.  
“Il sentimento è reciproco. The feeling is mutual, signore.”  
Putting down her paintbrush, I couldn’t stop myself from sneaking a glance at what she was painting in her square canvas. And the kids were right, she was indeed good. Not just good, **_her oil painting of the fountain and the plaza in the background_** , even though it was still unfinished, it looked like something you’d see in museums. The mix of the colors blended so well together and she only had the primary colors in her oil paint tubes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your painting...?”  
She blinked at my awed reaction and said,  
“Oh, you mean this? I’m only halfway done. I didn’t even notice the time that already passed by and the children that came just now.”  
“Is that so... the kids were right though. You’re pretty good, signora.”  
“Grazie. That’s nice of you to say even though we don’t even know each other, signore.”  
I know I don’t believe in love or fate or the bullshit that comes with that, but all I know was, at that very moment, at that that very point in time, I just wanted to know the name of the woman with baby blue eyes and honey blonde hair. _I wanted to know the name of the very first person I can’t foresee their future of_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Signora, I was too late in asking you this yesterday, especially right after you just left so abruptly... but, would it be weird of me again to ask you for your name?”  
We just looked at one another in silence, without averting eye contact, before she gave me a humble smile and reached out her right hand to me that was a bit covered in her oil’s paint telling me,  
“Call me **_Kyra_** , signore. E tu? And what’s your name, signore brown eyes?”  
“I’m Seokjin Kim. So, I take it you’re not running away from anyone today then, signora Kyra?”  
She just chuckled at my question and replied,  
“No. No running away today, signore Seokjin. Did you keep the penny I left with you yesterday then?”  
And finally under the summer sky of 1976, I found out the name of the woman in front of my sight. **_The mystery woman named Kyra whom I met because of a penny and wish fountain_**.  
“Sì. And I made a wish. Just like you had told me yesterday, signora Kyra.”

**  
 _A little while later:_  
 _In a cafe in Piazza Erbe_  
 _Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: Butterfly (Minah)_  
Since it was a bit late in the morning, after our short introductions, I offered to have coffee together at a nearby cafe which the woman named Kyra accepted without hesitation.  
“What does coffee taste like, signore?”  
“That’s a rather weird question to be honest, signora Kyra.”  
As I was sipping on my cup of coffee, I had noticed that her blue eyes were observing me in silence as she glanced at her cup of _fennel tea_.  
“Don’t tell me you haven’t had coffee before?”  
“Well... you can say that I guess.”  
What a weird turn of subject for a conversation. I was convinced again that the woman sitting across from me was an odd woman. But for a weird reason too, I didn’t mind it. Maybe I’m the weirder one indeed. With a slight smile, I gently pushed my cup of coffee towards her side of the table and said before opening the newspaper sitting on my lap.  
“Here. You can try it. This is the first time I met someone who doesn’t drink coffee... aside from her.”  
Of course the ‘ _her_ ’ that I meant was mademoiselle Keira. Namjoon’s special person herself. _Was it a thing for ladies to like tea more than coffee lately?_  
“No, no. It’s okay signore. Besides, I can’t deal so well with bitter drinks even no matter how many times I try to for years...”  
“We all have our own tastes, signora.”  
The morning grew on as Kyra continued on her oil painting while I was reading the morning newspaper.  
“You’re not from around here, aren’t you signore Seokjin?”  
“Why do you say so, signora?”  
Our eyes then met on perfect timing as I peeked at her face while putting down the newspaper for a few seconds.  
“You can speak and understand Italian like a local, but your accent tells me otherwise signore.”  
“Spoken by a true Italian then huh? What about you? You seem like a local even though I haven’t seen you around these parts. Are you from the main capital then?”  
For some reason, her blue eyes then gave me that same sadden expression just like yesterday. The topic must be a sensitive subject to touch then.  
“How I wish I was local though... to just roam freely in the streets of my home country where I was born at without a care in the world...”  
 _ **Free**_. That same word she had mentioned too yesterday.  
“Why am I getting the feeling that **you’re either a very important or a dangerous person** , signora Kyra? Most especially the way you were just chased down the streets by two men in suits too yesterday?”  
Kyra just laughed softly at what I had to ask as she puts down her paintbrush to tell me,  
“Obviously I’m a very dangerous person no doubt there, signore Seokjin.”  
 _*thump*_  
“W-Whatever you say then, signora.”  
I could almost feel my chest skip a beat because of this mysterious woman’s out of the blue clever reply. Usually, it’s the other way around for me. I was completely taken off guard. Trying to keep up my poker face, I went on to continue reading the newspaper. And then... the pounding of my chest grew even more quicker and louder at one of the pages.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...?!”  
There was a huge photo of a woman who looked so identical to the woman sitting right across from me. And the main article wrote,

> _La principessa scomparsa. **The missing princess**. Where could she be now?_
> 
> _In the middle of early summer of 1976, sources have confirmed that the Princess of Monaco, **Princess Kyrea Raylene** , is nowhere to be seen since last night in her hotel room. Said Princess had been last spotted by eyewitnesses at the fountain right in the center of Piazza Erbe yesterday morning where she was seen and chased by her two bodyguards._
> 
> _It’s still a real mystery how she even managed to escape her bodyguards without due notice and how there’s not even one eyewitness who had seen her since last night and till today._
> 
> _Princess Kyrea’s visit here in Verona was to attend an important banquet in behalf of the Principality of Monaco’s royal family. Being the youngest and only daughter amongst her three older brothers who are next in lines for the throne, a lot had expected of her to wed anytime soon. But, judging from where the situation is now, the more important question is,_
> 
> _Dov'è ora? Where is the Princess now?”_

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“Call me Kyra.”_  
I couldn’t believe at what I had just read with my own two eyes. But mostly, I couldn’t believe of the real identity of the woman sitting across from me. _The woman who goes by the name Kyra was actually a real life princess. Princess Kyrea_. I thought that my ability of being able to someone’s future was crazy enough. And now, right here, someone from a real life royal family was in front of my eyes. **_That was even crazier_**.  
“...”  
Now it made sense. Why she was being chased yesterday. They were actually her bodyguards. Why she seemed like a local but I haven’t seen someone like her around here. She wasn’t just a mere, ordinary person after all. Wow, I feel like my head was about to explode any minute now because of this information.  
“Signore? You suddenly turned quiet there? Did you read something surprising in the papers today?”  
As I placed down the newspaper, I just stared at the woman in front of my sight. The very person I couldn’t see a glimpse of her future turned out to be a person you’d only read on tabloids and hear on the radio. And judging from the way her blue eyes were looking at me, she knew. _She knew I had recognized who she really was_.  
“N-No. It’s nothing signora.”  
“Thank goodness you didn’t address me with ‘ _your highness_ ’ just now.”  
“Signora...”  
Kyra then held the canvas with both of her hands and showed it to me saying,  
“It’s finally finished. What do you think of my oil painting then signore Seokjin? Be honest. Don’t sugarcoat me just because you recognized who I am already.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
She just smiled heartily at me as I couldn’t take my eyes off of her painting. _It was an oil painting of the fountain and the Piazza Erbe surrounding it_. The balance of the monochromatic colors and the bright colors really blended well together. At that moment, the woman named Kyra didn’t seem like a Princess I read from a newspaper just now... but she seemed more of a **_genius painter_** in my eyes.  
“It’s a masterpiece, signora. And I’m not sugarcoating you one bit. Giuro. I swear. Your color blending is really unique, I must say.”  
“Unique huh? That’s the first time someone has said that to me. Usually, people would just tell me my painting is very pretty and amazing. So, thank you for saying that. Are you an arts kind of guy then?”  
I just told her,  
“No. Not really. But a close friend of mine is. Maybe I did learn a thing or two from him after all the dragging he did by taking me to museum exhibits and things like that back in university...”  
Kyra chuckled at the my reply and then handed over the canvas to me saying,  
“Will you keep this painting for me too then?”  
“What?”  
 **First it was a penny and now, a painting?** This woman keeps getting odd in my eyes.  
“Since you used the penny I left with you yesterday, I guess I can trust you with keeping this painting for me since you’re the only one who seems to recognize me ever since I made that wish by the fountain.”  
“Signora, what do you mean?”  
Wait. _I’m the only one who recognized her?_ Didn’t the news article mention that she hadn’t been seen since last night? But she’s here now roaming freely around the plaza and painting so carefree, not even worrying about anybody spotting her.  
 _“I wish to be free for once...”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Don’t tell me...? As I was talking to my own thoughts, Kyra then stood up from the chair and told me with an amused smile,  
“Would you even believe me signore if I told you that **I wished for nobody to recognize me as a princess on that very fountain? To be free?** Would you believe me even no matter how absurd that sounds?”

As my brown eyes looked at the woman with honey blonde hair and baby blue eyes in her _mini, light blue, polka dot swing dress paired with her nude colored strapped heels and big pearl earrings_ , it didn’t feel like a simple coincidence any longer that I could see my reflection in this woman’s gaze.  
“Yes, I believe you signora.”  
At the back of my head, I wondered too if I had asked her if she would even believe me if I told her I could see the future, what would’ve been her reaction?

_Guess we’ll never know._

***  
 _A few days later..._  
 _Lamberti Tower_  
 _Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: Drawing Our Moments (TAEYEON)_  
“Caspita! Che bello! This place is beautiful signore! It makes me feel...”  
“Free?”  
“Sì. Correct signore.”  
It’s been a few days already since our first encounter. Kyra had asked me to show her around _Verona_ since she didn’t have to worry about anybody recognizing her and the like. I guess the kids who told her that the fountain makes wishes come true weren’t lying after all. _Nobody knew that the smiling woman with me for the past days was the very princess the papers have been in search of_. She was just an ordinary woman to every person we happened to pass by as we roamed the city for a couple of days already. It really was unbelievable to witness something that surprised me more than being able to glimpse at someone else’s future.  
“Signora, do you really think that the **penny** you threw to the fountain caused this? A normal person would be more scared than relieved right now.”  
“I’m not a normal person to be honest, signore. I know it seems like a page from a fiction book what’s happening to me, but I don’t regret it. I don’t regret making that one wish.”  
 **To be free** huh? You would think that being a princess is something most people would wish for, but not her. _She wished for the opposite of that_. It’s not like I can’t completely understand why though.  
“I still can’t believe I’m with an actual princess right now, signora.”  
“Oh please, signore. Before I’m a princess, I’m just a normal person. You’re the only one who didn’t treat me like one for a long time and I appreciate that. Maybe that’s the reason why you’re the only one too who can recognize me?”  
Now that she had mentioned it, I still couldn’t wrap my finger around why was I the only person who didn’t get affected by that wish of hers? Was it because I had an ability of my own? I completely had no clue.  
“So, how does it feel to be not called ‘ _your highness_ ’ and be treated like normal people?”  
Kyra reached out her right hand towards the summer blue sky with a big smile and said as the beautiful **_white gold aquamarine ring_** on her third finger glistened in the sun’s rays,  
“It feels liberating, signore Seokjin. I haven’t felt this alive ever since I was a little girl.”  
“Isn’t that a bit of an exaggeration, signora? You do realize that most girls wish to be a princess?”  
With a long sigh, she then faced me and said,  
“ **Being a princess isn’t a fairytale** , signore. Trust me. It’s not all about the fancy dresses, tiaras, and even finding the perfect **Prince Charming** just like the storybooks portray it to be. **It’s always about your duty above everything else**. If I could trade my title for my freedom, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”  
My curiosity for this one woman with the blue eyes was the main reason why I couldn’t find it in me to leave her alone. Maybe. She somehow reminded me of myself a little. _Wishing to be free from something that was supposed to be considered a blessing to most, but was clearly a burden to us_.  
“Signora, you’re really unlike most women I’ve met.”  
“I hope that’s a compliment?”  
“Of course it’s a compliment. That’s why I’ve decided too.”  
“Hmm?”  
Still in search of the real reason too why I couldn’t see Kyra’s future, I needed a reason to stay close to her. If it weren’t for her wish, it would’ve been impossible. But now in her situation, impossible wasn’t even part of the vocabulary any longer.  
“I’ll show you what it means **to be a free person** then, signora Kyra.”  
She just blinked in confusion of what I was trying to mean.  
“Signore Seokjin, what are you trying to...?”  
And for the first time in a very long while, I somehow hoped too that _Kyra was the key I needed to break free_ from my own burden.  
“Do you trust this weird stranger then, signora Kyra?”  
As I reached out my right hand to her, it took her only a few seconds before she responded and both of our right hands met up with one another. **_A handshake to seal the deal_**. Kyra looked up at me with a genial smile written on her lips and just said,  
“I’m just as weird for trusting a stranger like you, signore Seokjin. But... I’ll put my trust in you.”

Underneath the summer sky, the most unlikely agreement had been made. _**An agreement between a missing princess and an outlandish man who just sees the future**_.

Of course I didn’t know that simple agreement would change the course of my life. And her fate. Altogether, as if _the universe_ was drawing a whole different storyline just like it had predicted.

***  
 _The next day:_  
 _Juliet’s House and Balcony_  
 _Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: Miss U (Apink)_  
“There are a lot of letters here. I guess a lot of people have read about _Romeo and Juliet’s_ story then, wouldn’t you agree signore?”  
I don’t know how the two of us found ourselves here at _Juliet’s house_ , but here we were. Since it was summer, the tourists flocked to this place as if there was a big sale happening here. And yes of course, not single one person had recognized the lady who was walking right beside me.  
“Right. Well, Romeo and Juliet is _Shakespeare’s_ most famous written play he had written.”  
“Don’t you think it’s kind of **ironic** for people to prefer happy endings but they still watch and read the play’s tragic ending in spite of that?”  
From the past days I’ve been spending with Kyra, she wasn’t the stereotypical kind of princess you’d see in movies and read in fairytale books. Her thoughts and words were really deep and you could quote her sentences left and right because she was smart like that. She was free spirited but had that elegant aura around her because of her upbringing.  
“Let’s just say that people are attracted to the **star-crossed lovers** subject, signora.”  
“Star-crossed lovers huh? How about you then, signore? Would you still love someone even if you two were bound to be ended up in a star-crossed ending?”  
As we were roaming around Juliet’s house, I froze at her question. _She really knew what questions to ask so as to throw me off-guard_. It didn’t help too that I couldn’t see her future and read her easily too unlike all of the women that came into my life.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-That’s a rather deep kind of question, don’t you think signora?”  
“You always tend to dodge my questions in this line of topic, signore. **I guess you don’t believe in things like love**. Ho ragione? Right?”  
Was she some sort of mind reader or what?  
“You’re a princess and a mind reader too?”  
Kyra’s blue eyes just glistened in the sunlight’s reflection through Juliet’s bedroom as she laughed at my question.  
“Not really. I’m neither at the moment. I’m just your local woman who could speak in Italian named Kyra who hasn’t also experienced what love is like.”  
“Signora...”  
I then watched her silhouette in the _dark grey button up blouse with the chiffon, light grey skirt and bright yellow belt plus yellow ballet flats_ walk up to Juliet’s balcony. The very balcony that had made this place a tourist destination. But somehow, to me, _**it felt like this place was made for someone like Kyra herself and not some fictional woman that a writer had written about**_.  
“Haaaa... so this is how it feels to stand at the very balcony where Romeo had confessed his undying love for Juliet in the middle of the late night. Weird, why don’t I feel butterflies in my stomach while standing here?”  
I couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle hearing Kyra’s last sentence. And while I watched her standing at the balcony, something inside of me stirred. A raw feeling that I can’t put my words into what it was. Yet, the feeling was heavily bubbling inside my chest. _A squeezing and pounding kind of feeling_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Do you want to recreate that scene with me then, signora?”  
“Aspetta! Wait! What do you mean, signore?”  
Before I knew it, my legs and feet took over me as I just told Kyra,  
“Wait there, don’t you dare move from that spot signora.”  
I then made a run for it. I ran towards the entrance door of Juliet’s house. And I stood there. I stood there looking up towards the balcony. I stood there as if I was Romeo and the woman with the baby blue eyes staring down at me was Juliet. **_But the two of us weren’t characters to a tragic story_**. We were just two real people who happened to share the same line of burdens that we wished to run away from. _I was just a man who didn’t believe in love and could see a person’s future while she was just a woman who didn’t know of love and happened to be a princess altogether_.  
“So, what do you think? Did we recreate the scene from the play perfectly right now, signora?”  
Kyra laughed saying,  
“You’re really one surprising signore indeed, signore Seokjin. Don’t tell me you even memorize Romeo’s lines from the play too?”  
The buzzing in my chest as I looked at Kyra’s eyes from above where I was standing wouldn’t stop, but for an inane reason, I didn’t dislike it. As long as I was able to see her smiling and laughing, even not knowing the reason why I couldn’t glimpse at her future, that was all that mattered to me. Yep, I was going crazy now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I don’t give a damn about what Romeo had said to Juliet. I’m standing here to just look at you solely and make you laugh, signora Kyra. I’m not good at cringing words like that to be honest.”  
“That’s weird...”  
“Hmm? What are you saying, signora?”  
Kyra then placed both of her hands towards her chest and said to me with an awed smile,  
“My heart skipped a few beats just now, signore Seokjin!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What an odd woman she is. But... just by staring at her _honey blonde hair_ being blown slightly by the summer breeze and her _blue eyes shining like two crystals_ being reflected underneath the sun’s rays, this unnamed feeling started to bloom and tear down slowly my once icy walls.  
“What a weird princess you are, signora Kyra.”  
And from that moment on, it wasn’t only her heart that skipped a few beats under the witness of the summer sky and Juliet’s statue.

_Nevertheless, it was still too early to tell her that._

“Haaaa... I wish I had a canvas and my paintbrush with me so I could paint that moment, right here, right now.”  
“Someone already took a photo of us though. Look.”  
After our stop at Juliet’s house, I then showed Kyra the _Polaroid_ photo that a tourist took of us while she was staring down at the balcony and I was below looking up at her.  
“Caspita! T-That’s beautiful! I’ll be sure to photograph this in my memory so I can paint it as soon as we get back!”  
She then didn’t hesitate to take the photo and grabbed a pen she was keeping in her skirt’s pocket and wrote,  
“ **Summer of 1976**?”  
“Keep that photograph too with you, signore.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What? You’re making me keep a lot of things, don’t you think signora?”  
Kyra just giggled with a shrug before she patted me on my broad shoulders and said with a smug but beguiling smile,  
“That’s only the beginning if you’re going to show me what it means to be a free person, signore Seokjin. **It doesn’t hurt to keep track of dates to days that are worth remembering** , right?”  
Gazing at the photograph in my left hand, I couldn’t stop myself from sighing with a smile at how I was so used to knowing who was coming into my life, and then, this unexpected wave of a woman came.  
“Guess I can’t argue with that one bit, signora Kyra.”

Right then and there, it dawned on me. Namjoon’s one question before.  
 _“Jin hyung? What would you do then? What would you do then once you’ve found your the 1?”_  
“Looks like he wasn’t kidding after all... the 1 huh?”  
Namjoon-ah, looks like I did find her. No... more like, she found me. **_The 1_** , _the once-in-a-lifetime person found me_.

Yet, instead of relief, _I felt fear for the first time once again_. The fear of where things were going to head from here.

And the fear that I hope my bad premonitions were all just wrong this time around.

***  
 _Autumn of 1976:_  
 _Lake Garda_  
 _Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: If this is love (Kassy)_  
“Looks like the fish aren’t biting so much today...”  
“Wait! Hold that pose just now signore!”  
It’s been around more than a month already since I met up with Kyra. It was already another season dawning in on us. And here we are now after exploring most of the places I love here in Verona, at the very serene but picturesque place of _Lake Garda_. The place absolutely looked like something you’d rip out of a postcard. We were sitting near by the lake where we could fish or just feel the lake’s refreshing air and take in the scenery.  
“You’re enjoying this more than I am right now, signora.”  
Kyra just laughed at my reaction as she continued her paintbrush’s strokes on the canvas. Every place we’ve been to together, she had already painted or sketched of it and had given all of her finished canvasses to me.  
“Ma certo! I’m already at a breathtaking place plus I have a very capable escort-slash-model with me... just like hitting two birds with one stone, signore!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
God. _Those blue eyes and that magnetic smile_. Getting to spend more days with this woman sitting right beside me, it made me smile more than I should lately. _**She was as vast as the blue sky**_. The unnamed feeling inside my chest kept on growing day-by-day.  
“I will have more than enough of your canvasses to put up a whole museum at this pace, signora Kyra.”  
“You have more of my paintings and sketches than your actual catches at the moment, signore Seokjin. I should be more worried.”  
The two of us just laughed as I shot back in a slight sarcastic tone,  
“Well, I would’ve caught something by now if you weren’t too busy stopping me at any point to a pose that you like...”  
“Hmph. Blaming me, really? Give me that spare fishing rod of yours, I’ll show you how to get a big catch.”  
“If you say so then, your highness.”  
Her _baby blue eyes_ then stared at me, or more likely, glared at me because of the sudden joking formality in my voice.  
“Ha-ha, very amusing signore. Let’s make this interesting then. Are you in? D'accordo?”  
“Hmm, how interesting do you have in mind, signora?”  
Kyra just flashed me an engaging smirk and said,  
“Whoever catches a properly sized fish between the two of us will listen to and grant the winner’s one wish. Capito?”  
There was no reasonable reason for me to accept her one condition. But, there was just no reasonable reason for me as well to say no to those blue eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I understand perfectly, signora. You better not come to regret your little condition once I win.”  
I can’t believe she would really suggest something as unusual as this, but I found myself enjoying every single weird thing she says or does. _I haven’t felt like this with anyone_. Especially not with a woman.

“I didn’t think someone of your status would even be interested in something as dull as fishing, your highness.”  
“Call me **your highness** one more time and I’m going to play dirty from here on forth, signore. And what if I’m a princess? There’s no written rule in society that a woman can’t be allowed to try different things that most of men find interesting just like fishing, right?”  
I couldn’t stop a smile at her very clever reply.  
“Beautifully said as always, signora. I really thought too that I was the one who was going to teach you how to fish.”  
“I don’t usually share a lot about my family signore, but my late grandfather used to sneak me out of the palace when I was a little girl to let me see lots of places. It began around the time my father took over the throne. And of course, that included to accompanying him in fishing.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My chest started pounding a little bit louder the moment Kyra opened up a bit about herself, as if she was letting down her walls for me. I found myself listening word for word.  
“I guess you got your free spirited nature from him then, signora?”  
“Forse? I guess? Growing up as the only girl and the only princess amongst us siblings, it wasn’t a walk in the park if I should say... but...”  
“But...?”  
Gripping tightly on to the fishing rod in her hands, Kyra smiled at me genially and continued on.  
“There are still memories worth remembering throughout everything, signore. Just like my fond childhood memories with my _Nonno_. And even... right now with you here. That’s why maybe I’m very fond of painting. **Painting a very moment in time so I can preserve its memory for the future**.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora...”  
The two of us just shared a few more seconds of eye-to-eye contact with one another, both brown and blue eyes, before her gaze then turned wide the second my fishing rod started tugging.  
“S-Signore!!! Your fishing line is moving!”  
“?!”  
Before I could even react, her hands then cupped on mine as she helped pull back my fishing rod which was still tugging tightly on the very end of the line.  
“Oh mio dio! Why is your catch being so difficult?! Let’s pull harder together, signore Seokjin!”  
Our faces were only centimeters away and I could see my face so clearly in her blue eyes’ reflection. It was also the first time once again too that I was this very close to staring at someone else’s eyes and there was just nothing. No glimpse of the future. No epiphany. This enigmatic woman. _Just who are you, Kyra_? And why... why are you making it so easy to melt away my once icy walls? Just why... _why are you making me hopeful that I’ve found **the 1** really, when I don’t deserve to_?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“O-On my count then! 1... 2... 3... pull signora!”

“W-Wow...”  
“T-That is one oddly big freshwater trout than usual, I should say...”  
As we just stared in awe at the now unconscious fish inside the ice bucket, Kyra chuckled to break the silence and said with a long sigh,  
“Jeez... as much as I hate to admit it, you win signore Seokjin!”  
“Hey... you do realize that we both pulled back that fishing rod just now together? As if I’m going to accept such a win, your highness.”  
Kyra shook her head in disapproval and refuted back,  
“A win is a win, signore. It was your fishing rod that caught a fish. So therefore, the winner of our agreement is you. Don’t make a princess repeat herself!”  
“Heh? You’re using your princess-like tone with me now, signora.”  
She almost flushed at my joking remark that we just ended up exchanging more laughs with each other before she asked me on cue,  
“Okay, okay. That’s enough laughs already. Just tell me what one wish I’m going to grant you signore, just like **a penny thrown into the fountain**.”  
“I told you that you’ll come to regret your little condition, signora.”  
“Oddio! Just please tell me already your wish, signore!”  
I still couldn’t help myself from laughing so much at her reactions. Who knew that she was this competitive after all, and judging from the small pout written on her lips also?  
“Okay, okay. Calm down your highness, I don’t want to make a princess angry without being afraid of the consequences of getting beheaded.”  
Kyra also couldn’t help herself from laughing too of my response as she said,  
“Hmph, you’re lucky that nobody but you knows I’m with title! Okay, now let me hear your wish, signore Seokjin.”

To be real honest, I didn’t know what I wanted to ask of her. Instead, trying to stall, I asked her,  
“All jokes aside. Let’s say if you had won signora, what would’ve you wished for?”  
“You have no idea what wish you want, don’t you? And you’re just stalling for more time to think about it, huh?”  
Lord, how good is she reading my mind in barely more than a month’s time?  
“Don’t answer my question with another question signora.”  
“F-Fine... well, it’s a bit embarrassing to say this but...”  
“I’m listening?”  
Out of the blue, Kyra’s cheeks then turned a bit rosy red as if she was blushing that it made my heart pound quickly like a total idiot.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora... w-why are you turning red r—-?”  
“I... I wanted to wish for you to teach me properly how to fish, signore!”  
My brown eyes also couldn’t stop from trembling in pure surprise of what I just heard with my own two ears as Kyra then proceeded to cover her flushed up face with both of her hands. It was the first time too I had seen her so flustered instead of her usual buoyant reactions.  
“W-Why wish for something silly like that? A-And here I thought it was going to be something ludicrous like **building you a museum filled with only your paintings**?”  
Kyra then almost slapped me right on my left shoulder forcefully as she said in a stutter,  
“I-It’s not silly! E-Even though you were grumbling here and there while you didn’t get a single catch, I... I could tell you were still enjoying yourself and I wanted to learn more...! I wanted to learn more about the things that you find interesting...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora...”  
“I-Is there something wrong with that signore Seokjin?!”  
There it was again. The buzzing in my chest as Kyra’s baby blue eyes didn’t falter away from mine. _**Her eyes that was as blue as the blue sky above us and the gleaming ring on her right hand**_. Right at that very second, at that very point in time, at that very moment, I couldn’t deny the unnamed feeling within me any longer. The feeling that got brought to light because of the woman right beside me. A feeling I never knew was possible for someone like me.

I then couldn’t stop my train of rational thoughts from what I was about to do next.  
 _“You’ll know it, Jin hyung. You’ll know it once you’ve found that person. That one person. The one person, your the 1.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“I made up my mind, signora. The wish you have to grant me.”  
“D-Davvero?”  
“Yes, really.”  
Before she could say anything else, I then moved closer to her and wrapped my long arms around her which ultimately made her frozen.  
“S-Signore Seokjin?! I-Is something the matter...?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Call me **Jin** from here on forth.”  
Yet even if she could freeze in place in my embrace, I could hear it. I could hear the quickening beats of her heart that paced along with mine.  
“I-Is that your wish really, signore J-Jin?”  
And just by the mention of my name rolling off of her lips, I knew it by then Namjoon-ah. I knew the one person you and Keira had been talking about, the one person I never thought I’d meet in this life. _**She was here. She’s in my arms now. She was real**_.  
“No. That’s not my wish, signora.”  
“T-Then w-why...?”  
As I gently loosened my embrace around her, Kyra then looked at me earnestly at those eyes of hers while I placed my right hand on one side of her flushed up cheeks and let out a smile telling her without holding back,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sii mio. **Be mine** , signora Kyra.”  
“S-Signore Jin...”  
“That’s my real wish, your highness.”

I never would’ve imagined myself saying such words. I never would’ve fathomed to be able to feel something that I had all the while thought was impossible for me. But I guess, _timing and fate_ wanted to prove to me otherwise.

**_A wish that brought forth a new beginning, with an unforeseeable ending, that not even I could predict the future of._ **

***  
 _Winter of 1976:_  
 _Near The Grand Canal_  
 _Venice, Italy_

 _BGM: Lean On Me (SOYOU, Kwon Jeong Yeol)_  
Months skip by in the flash of our eyes just like flipping through a book’s pages.

And it’s been a few months already since I had said the words I didn’t comprehend I could say in this lifetime. To one woman herself.  
“Who knew _Venice_ was more beautiful in the wintertime huh, signora?”  
“Assolutamente. I agree signore Jin. Do the mix of _blue and grey_ colors I’m doing now match it then?”  
Kyra just asked me with an innocent glimmer in her blue eyes. Bluer than the ocean of the very _**Grand Canal**_ itself as she was continuing her painting while sitting across from me on the _gondola_.  
“Absolutely signora. A masterpiece as always.”  
“Hmph. Sugarcoating doesn’t suit you, signore.”  
If you’re wondering what happened during the months after that day at Lake Garda, well... let’s just say Kyra only said to me with an earnest smile,  
“Signore Jin, telling someone ‘ _ **be mine**_ ’ is rather vague for a confession, wouldn’t you think?”  
 _She’s really been a first to me in a lots of ways already_. The first person I couldn’t foresee their future of. The first person I barely could read and predict so easily. The first woman who thawed the ice walls I built around for myself. And the first woman I indirectly confessed to.  
“I would never lie to you, your highness.”  
“Ssh! T-The signore rowing the gondola’s going to hear you!”  
Even when we were in Venice, nobody knew of who she was. Nobody still knew that the missing princess who’s being talked about in the papers is just sitting right in front of me and happened to cover my lips with both of her hands to silence me while moving her face closer to mine.  
“Really. You and your big mouth... that’s supposed to be just between the two of us.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
As a faint trail of blush appeared on her cheeks, my lips turned to a smile on cue as I gently removed her hands covering my mouth and held it tightly with mine. Kyra’s blue eyes started to shake a little as I just continued to look at her. Alone.  
“That’s real unfair of you, signora. You being so bold and moving so close as if it’s nothing to you after what I said at Lake Garda months ago?”  
“Signore Jin, I didn’t mean to overstep r—-...”  
“Too late.”  
I don’t know what took over me next but before we both knew it, I pulled her by the left hand and wrapped her in my embrace.  
“S-Signore Jin?!”  
“Signore, you don’t mind me hugging this _princess_ right here, right now, do you?”  
I glanced at the gondolier who was rowing the gondola. He then just replied,  
“Certo che no, signore. Feel free to do so. I was getting tired of waiting for your next move on your high highness, to be real honest.”  
“W-What?!”  
“You heard the man, your highness.”  
Even when Kyra was trying to slap me on my back numerous times as a signal for me to let her go, I didn’t budge one bit.  
“Signore Jin, let me go. Subito.”  
“Are you going to behead me if I refuse then, signora Kyra?”  
“I have a better idea than a beheading.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
Completely catching me off guard, Kyra then started tickling me all over that I had no choice but to release her from my arms just like she had wanted.  
“W-Wait...! S-Signora...! T-That tickles...!”  
“You really thought you had me huh?!”  
I knew I couldn’t let her win so easily so I counterattacked as well and started tickling her in return.  
“N-Non osare! D-Don’t you dare signore...!”  
“Oh it’s on now, signora...!”  
Our loud laughs and Kyra’s cute shrieks then echoed around the scenic scenery. Even if the weather was slightly chilly, just by being in each other’s presence was more than enough in terms of warmth.

“J-Jeez! F-Fermo! S-Stop tickling me al—-!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
As Kyra was getting exhausted and breathless from all the laughs, she then stood up suddenly on the gondola which on cue made the boat wobble that mine and the _gondolier’s_ warnings were too late when,  
“K-Kyra, n-no...!”  
“N-No! D-Don’t stand up signora...!”  
The gondola of course flipped upside down that all three of us fell and plopped into the canal’s water. And being in the middle of winter already, _damn was the water cold_.  
“C-Cazzo!”  
“W-Well shit indeed... t-the water’s freezing!”  
“You two owe me a new pair of work uniform. Veramente...”  
When Kyra’s blue eyes found mine, both of us looked at each other for a few more seconds before we laughed all over again at the absurdity of our situation under the now dusk sky.  
“I... I never knew being free could be this exciting, signore Jin.”  
“While I never knew being free could be this cold, signora Kyra...”  
As the gondolier flipped back the capsized boat and grabbed his long paddle, Kyra then swam back to my direction after she grabbed her now drenched canvas and paintbrush. But the funny thing was her painting of the gondola, the canal, and us didn’t get wet at all.  
“Looks like my painting is safe... che sollievo...”  
“I can’t believe you’re more worried about your painting than of yourself right now, signora...”  
She just lets out a giggle before facing me and said,  
“How am I supposed to give you the painting if it was wet then, signore?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora...”  
“And this of course, can’t forget it.”  
Taking my right hand, she then placed **_a shiny golden penny_** on my palm.  
“A-A penny?”  
“Sì.”  
Having no clue of the meaning behind the penny in my hand, the two of us were snapped back to reality by the gondolier who then said,  
“Signore! Signora! You’re both going to freeze if you stay in the water any longer...!”  
“H-He’s right. Here, come take my hand now, signora!”  
As Kyra took my right hand that reached out to her, she didn’t hesitate to touch the penny that’s still in my palm with her left one while not hesitating to say behind that lovely smile of hers also,  
“Kyra. Just Kyra, signore Jin.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Your highness...”  
“And... will you grant me **one wish** through this penny also?”  
One wish?  
“What wish, signora—I mean... Kyra?”  
After placing her canvas back on top of the boat, Kyra used her free right hand to stroke one side of my wet cheeks saying,  
“ _Nonno_ always told me that as a princess, **I should be true in every step of my life**... therefore, I wish to be true to my heart and to you, signore Jin.”  
“Kyra...”  
The next words that then came out of Kyra’s lips left me dazed.  
“ **Be mine** as well, signore.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
And out of the many firsts, this moment right here, this was the moment I knew that for the first time, my chest would only buzz and beat uncontrollably for one woman. _My enigmatic royal highness surprising me all over again_.  
“Again, well said your highness.”  
“Don’t ruin the moment, signore.”  
Removing my free hand from the edge of the gondola, I took Kyra’s hand that was on my cheek and moved it closer to me and planted a soft kiss at the back of her right hand. _Right where the shining ring was_. Of course, she instantly turned shy.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Grazie mille for your answer, Kyra.”  
“H-Haaaa... okay I’m getting a bit cold now...”  
I snickered at her reaction before I pulled both of us back into the top of the gondola finally. As the gondolier then passed me a towel, I then wrapped it around Kyra without second thinking and embraced her one more time.  
“S-Signore, I-I’m fine...!”  
“Just let me be for now, signora. And look up.”  
As the dusk sky turned to night already, Kyra then gasped the moment small white drops started pouring down the winter sky. It was no other than snow itself. **_The first snow had arrived in Venice at last_**.  
“I-I wonder if it’s okay for me to tell you that I’m having butterflies swirling in my stomach right now, signore...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Well it looks like even our feeling’s mutual then, signora.”  
For the first time too, **_it wasn’t a prince who had kissed this one princess’ lips. It was just an ordinary jerk like me_**.

I saw the first snow every single time, every single year. It was just the natural way how the seasons work. Yet, from here on forth, _I’ll remember the night when the first snow falls from the sky every year as the day when the woman with blue eyes_ , when Kyra herself confessed directly to my indirect confession.

Was it too early to call it love? _Maybe yes_.  
Was I going to tell myself it wasn’t love? **_No_**.

And now that I got a chance to hold her hand, hug her, and feel her sincere warmth, not being able to foresee her future seemed more of a blessing.

Nonetheless, **_the blessing I all the while hoped for from timing and the universe themselves would become a curse in disguise that I’ll pay for_** as this story continued forth.

***  
 _Spring of 1977:_  
 _Scala Contarini Del Bovolo_  
 _Venice, Italy_

 _BGM: I FEEL LOVE (YUKIKA)_  
“You really love taking me to places with the most fantastic views huh, signore Jin?”  
“Only the best for your highness.”  
With another season passing by, Kyra and I were still here in Venice together. Nothing much has changed with her situation maybe except...  
“Oh please signore, se non smetti di chiamarmi così, there are going to be consequences if you keep on calling me that.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I flinched the minute Kyra pinched my nose without fair warning. The one thing that evidently changed was how closer she had felt towards me, and I felt the exact same way about her which absolutely left me lost for words. Something that was unlike of me.  
“I don’t mind the consequences one bit, signora.”  
“Is that so?”  
Taking her right hand, I just pecked kisses at the back of it for a few times that it made her giggle.  
“When did my signore become so sweet? It’s suspicious.”  
“I’m always sweet, signora. You just didn’t notice it until now.”  
The two of us fell to a few more laughs before we admired the view of Venice from one of the hidden gems here in this _Renaissance city_. No crowds. It was just the two of us, just how I liked it.  
“Jin...”  
“Hmm? What’s wrong, Kyra?”  
Kyra then leaned her head on my left shoulder and said with a dreamy sigh,  
“Grazie. Thank you.”  
“What’s with the sudden thank you? You’re scaring me...”  
“You jerk. Is it so wrong of me of wanting to thank you, signore?”  
Patting the back of her head, I then cooed at her,  
“Sorry. Scusi, signora. It’s just you’re making me wonder why you’re suddenly thanking me?”  
As our gazes found one another’s, Kyra smiled and said,  
“Really? I wanted to thank you for all the months we’ve spent... and you **showing me how it means to be a free person** , to see the world through my own eyes and not just only in magazines and postcards...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I see. But we’re only just beginning, your highness. You haven’t seen all of Italy yet, so thank me again once you’ve seen _Rome_ and _Milan_ too soon enough.”  
“A very reliable man and tour guide you are, signore Jin.”  
My train of thoughts paused as Kyra then kissed me on my left cheek. I could only stare at her in bewilderment.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora... d-did you just...?”  
“It would’ve been impolite of me if I had kissed you on the lips without permission.”  
As if something inside of me snapped, I didn’t falter of what I wanted to do next.  
“Signore Jin?!”  
In one fast swoop, I then faced Kyra and kindly placed both of my hands on her waist before I effortlessly lifted her up and made her sit up on one of the ledges of the open-windowed balcony that overlooked the view of Venice.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“The things you say lately, your highness...”  
As I securely tightened my hands’ grip with hers so she wouldn’t fall from the ledge, I looked seriously into those _baby blue eyes_ of hers. Kyra’s _honey blonde hair_ swayed a bit because of the spring breeze while I was continuing to admire the woman who was so close to me. She looked so ravishing in her _white beret with the black-and-white checkered dress paired with her closed, wedged heels with the black bow_.  
“Jin... you really have **mysterious brown eyes**... the **kind of eyes that have a lot of stories to tell behind them, concealing what kind of person you are**...”  
“That’s a rather deep description you have there, Kyra. I could say the same thing about your blue ones... **your blue eyes that just straight-up looks at me so clearly, but unpredictably at the same time**.”  
Kyra’s hands then stroked both sides of my cheeks saying with a sheepish smile,  
“I like this view a whole, signore Jin. **You’re like a mansion with a view**.”  
“If that’s so, will you grant me permission to kiss you then right now, your highness?”  
“Sì.”  
With a nod of approval, our lips met up with each other’s. Every kiss we shared felt like a new experience for me because before, a kiss felt like only a duty for me. A duty I had to fulfill when I was in a casual relationship. However it didn’t feel that way with Kyra. **_It wasn’t out of duty. It was out of my own free will._**  
“Mmm... s-signore...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What are you doing to me signora...”  
As Kyra wrapped her arms around my neck to steady herself, I also wrapped my arms around her waist while we continued to share a _long, but heartening kiss_.

**  
 _A little while later..._  
 _Along Canareggio District_  
 _Venice, Italy_

“I can’t believe you’d rather eat _gelato_ that’s cotton candy flavored than eat an actual cotton candy itself, signore...”  
“And who brought the gelato, need you be reminded dear signora?”  
Kyra just groaned cutely as we ate our gelatos while standing by the quiet bridge by a town called _Canereggio District_. It was a perfect place to stroll about in the afternoon with less of a tourist crowd at this place itself.  
“The gelatos in Italy are absolutely the best, signore Jin.”  
“That I can’t argue with. But I’m curious about something though,”  
“Hmm? What about?”  
I then eyed the brown ice cream cone she was holding and the gelato flavor she was eating.  
“Why did you choose vanilla? Is that perhaps your favorite ice cream flavor?”  
“Is it weird of me to like vanilla in your eyes, signore Jin?”  
Well in all actuality, vanilla suits someone like Kyra.  
“No. It’s not weird. What’s weird is a flavor called mint chocolate that exists, while vanilla is a classic flavor. Classic like you are, your highness. And I mean that in a good way, alright?”  
“I see... Capisco. Do you want to bite a bit of my gelato then, signore?”  
“Here, let’s exchange flavors then. The cotton candy one, I know will be to your liking too. Wait, I actually have a better idea.”  
“What do you m—-?!”  
Kyra just stared at me blinking in disbelief as I just snickered while stealing a quick peck on her lips. _The taste of vanilla and cotton candy mixing together._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Hmm... vanilla indeed goes with any flavor I should say.”  
“S-Sei sneaky I should say as well signore Jin...”  
We just fed each other more gelato while exchanging more hearty laughs and stories before we found ourselves sitting by the riverbank near the bridge.

 _BGM: Spring rain (A train to autumn)_  
“Dimmi... tell me signore... I know you’re good in Italian and all, but you’re not from Italy, am I right?”  
Kyra’s blue eyes then glimmered in curiosity as we caught one another’s gazes on cue again. Nobody had ever asked me about my family before unless they were a part of my close circle like Namjoon.  
“No, I’m not born Italian signora. I’m from _Seoul, South Korea_. I grew up there and moved to the U.K when I went to university.”  
“Which university did you graduate from then, signore? And what major?”  
“ _Cambridge University_ , your highness. I graduated as an acting major.”  
Her eyes then turned wide in pure awe as she said in amazement,  
“W-Wow! È incredibile! That’s really amazing, Jin!”  
“You’re exaggerating, Kyra.”  
“N-No way! That’s not an exaggeration one bit. It’s not an easy feat to be admitted and even graduate there you know.”  
Now it was my turn to be curious.  
“How about you, signora? Did you go to university?”  
Kyra laughed at the absurdity of my question saying,  
“Just because I was born royalty doesn’t mean I wasn’t allowed to enter university, signore Jin.”  
“My apologies then your highness. Now let me rephrase my question, where did you graduate and what major were you in?”  
“ _Oxford University_. I majored in fine arts of course. Isn’t it funny how both of us were arts majors?”  
This woman really... I was the one who’s supposed to be amazed at what I heard right here, right now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You do realize that Oxford is the leading university here in Europe right Kyra? You’re really something else. I should be the one in awe! Oxford and Cambridge are longtime friends-rivals in a lot of ways too...”  
“I know obviously but it doesn’t scratch the fact that I still admire you graduating from a prestigious university. Imagine if we both had met in university?”  
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her last question and said,  
“Well that would’ve been an entirely different story, wouldn’t you think?”  
“Esattamente. Exactly, signore. Now, education aside... would it be impolite of me to ask you about your family also, Jin?”  
She was curious about a lot of things, this princess was. Yet, I didn’t mind it at all. _I found it endearing_. If it were another woman asking me, I’d be annoyed as hell.  
“My family huh? Let’s see... I have my _hyung_ back in Korea, _hyung_ means older brother by the way. He lives together with our parents but he’s going to move out because he’s getting engaged soon.”  
“Really? It’s another funny thing we both have an older brother...”  
“Correction signora, you have three older brothers. Remember?”  
“Right. Three fratelli più grandi. Three very nagging older brothers... they nag way more than our madre. Our mother.”  
Judging from the tone in Kyra’s voice, she seemed close to her family, which is a rarity when it came to being born in a royal family.  
“They must be worried as hell since it’s been months already since you were last seen. The papers still talk about **the missing princess**.”  
“...”  
Or was I mistaken?  
“Kyra?”  
“Hmm? What’s wrong, signore Jin?”  
“You turned quiet just now. If you find it hard to open up about your family to me, we can always change the subject. Don’t hesitate to tell me.”  
Taking both of my hands, Kyra squeezed her hands together with mine and gave me a smile behind those _slightly sadden blue eyes_ of hers.  
“Grazie. It’s not like I hate my family or anything of that sort, but... I was more fond of my grandparents, my _nonni_ , than of my own parents, Jin. And **this ring here on my right hand’s finger is the only memento I have of them** back when they were both alive.”  
“I see...”  
“ _Nonno and nonna_ opened up my eyes to the world outside of the palace. I grew up more of as a human girl rather than a princess with a title.”  
I understand more deeply now. Why Kyra holds the word “ _ **free**_ ” so dearly because _**that was the one thing she wanted more than anything else but couldn’t have**_. And that led up to her making that wish on the fountain. And even the meaning behind the ring she never takes off from her right hand.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Do you regret making that wish at the fountain when we met then?”  
She gave me an earnest smile and told me in all honesty,  
“No. I don’t. I sound like a total spoiled brat right now but... like I had told you before when we met, I’d trade my title for my freedom in a heartbeat. I’m a human first before I’m a princess.”

At that second, I could finally assure myself. I could finally tell myself I was... _I was having genuine feelings for the 1 woman beside me_. Genuine feelings that I didn’t deserve to feel but here I am now, proven wrong by fate and timing just like they wanted to.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Mi piaci, signora Kyra.”  
“S-Signore Jin... d-did you just...?”  
“Yes, I’m telling you **I like you** , your highness.”  
Kyra just went on to look at me, shocked of what I’d said to her. Before I knew it, it was my turn to be shocked the moment tiny tears then streamed down her blue eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra?!”  
“S-Sorry... got a little emotional there... would it be impolite of me to say... Anche tu mi piaci, signore Jin. **I like you too**. A-A whole lot...”  
“Silly woman... come here.”  
Kissing her first on the forehead, I then wiped away her wet tears before I wrapped her up in my embrace.  
“S-Signore Jin... would it be also weird of me to tell you that I’m both happy and scared altogether...?”  
“Why do you say so, signora?”  
As Kyra tightened her hug around me while her head rests on my chest, her next words then made my heart throb.  
“T-That’s because... being too happy can leave you feeling scared, you then start to question... **when is this happiness going to last**? Will it last for a fleeting moment? Or will it last for a lifetime? Just like how I have no idea when this freedom of mine is going to last.”  
Looks like I wasn’t the only one who had felt that way all along. _The anxiousness we both shared mutually aligned and connected._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Nothing is permanent in this world, as they say signora. But... I’m only sure of one thing. **The moment we have right now, it’s real. It exists**. This moment is all we have now. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything, Kyra.”  
“Capisco perfettamente. I understand perfectly, Jin.”

Kyra and I continued to hug each other under the witness of the night’s moon and lighted up street lights. As we could hear the faint sound of music playing from somewhere, _the only sounds we focused on were the sounds of our hearts beating and the water flowing from the river_.

I did not give a damn when this dreamlike situation between her and I was going to end; be it tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month, or even the next year, we both knew that we could only do one thing. _And that was to live each day as if it were the last_.

Now that I’ve found _**the 1**_ , there was no way I’m going to let her go. I’m not going to let fate and timing fuck this up just like what happened to Namjoon and Keira.

_I swore to myself._

***  
 _Summer of 1977:  
The market of Campo de’ Fiori  
Rome, Italy_

 _BGM: Popo (How deep is our love?) (Yerin Baek)_  
“Should I make some Korean pancakes for you when we get back?”  
“Sì per favore. The _kimchi_ you made me a few days ago was really delicious, signore! You could’ve been an exquisite cooking major too.”  
After we watched the sunrise at _**Gianicolo Hill**_ , we were roaming around the market in _Campo de’ Fiori_ in the early morning. It was almost a year already since the summer we met. Time does pass by in the blink of an eye. _Who would’ve thought that I’d find the first person I wanted to protect no matter what happens_?  
“Oh! These cherry tomatoes look so fresh... posso assaggiare la zia? May I, auntie?”  
“Sì signora.”  
Grabbing two pieces of the cherry tomatoes, Kyra then faced me and places the fruit on top of my lips saying,  
“Here you go, signore Jin.”  
How could I refuse when she’s looking at me so dotingly with those blue eyed stare of hers? I had no choice but to open my mouth and let the sweetness of the cherry tomato flood my mouth as I bite into it.  
“So? It tastes sweet and fresh right?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I’ll let you be the judge of it as well, signora.”  
“Quale?!”  
I then pulled Kyra close to me and placed my hand on the back of her neck before I pressed my lips to hers so she’d get a better taste of the cherry tomato.  
“...”  
“Hmm... your face is turning the same color as the tomato. Che carino.”  
Kyra’s cheeks then went flushed in an instant as I pulled my face away from hers and gave her a victorious grin. I could get used to the sight of those blue eyes being paired with her blushing cheeks any day.  
“I-If I could have someone behead you right now, I would... a-and we’re in public too!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Ohh... so you’d let me do more in private then? Noted on that, your highness.”  
Immediately ignoring me in embarrassment, Kyra then turned to the fruit and vegetable seller and said shyly,  
“M-Mi dispiace... I’m sorry for that impolite display just now, auntie.”  
The kind looking auntie giggled at Kyra’s reaction and just told her,  
“Oh please dear child, no need to apologize. It feels refreshing to see two young beautiful people in love. Goditelo. Enjoy it, signora. You both reminded me of my once younger days. Grazie.”  
“Auntie...”  
“We’ll remember that then, zia. Grazie anche a te.”  
Taking Kyra’s hand, the two of us went on with our early morning shopping before we headed for our next destination for the day.

*  
 _A little bit later:  
By the Spanish Steps  
Rome, Italy_

After our stopover at the market, Kyra still gave me the silent treatment because of what happened a while ago. Usually when a woman gives me the silent treatment because of what I had done, I paid no attention to it whatsoever. _It was the complete opposite with her._  
“It’s still a bit chilly in the morning huh? Even though it’s summer already... I’ll be right back. I’ll go get us something warm to drink. Okay?”  
Kyra just nodded in silence while avoiding any eye contact from me before I left her alone by _the infamous staircase here in Rome_. Normally I’d be pissed if it were any other woman who did this again, but I surprisingly found it adorable when she was the one doing it.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“G-God if Namjoon-ah were to see me now, he’d laugh his arse off and tell me I’m indeed whipped...”  
I could even hear his voice saying ‘ _I told you so hyung_ ’ echoing inside my inner thoughts as I laughed to myself whilst finally standing outside of a cafe that was open.

“A cup of _Darjeeling tea_ for her royal highness and a cup of simple _cafe au lait_ for me.”  
Walking back to where Kyra was, I was trying to put together the right words of what to say to her when I hand over her cup of tea.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
And the second I arrived at the bottom of the stairs, I could hear the very obvious loud thumping coming from my chest like a damn fool as I looked up to her silhouette. To Kyra’s very silhouette standing in the middle of the staircase. The way she was just breathtakingly stunning to stare at even in her _buttoned up short-sleeved, moss green, blouse with the tiny little foxes printed on it plus a ribbon tying it together by the neckline, paired with her knee-length, high waisted brown circle skirt, black accessory belt, and egg white colored oxfords shoes_. Her entire look was completed with her honey blonde hair being _tied up in a neat braid_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Maledetto... well damn me...”  
There it dawned on me once again. Kyra was indeed not your ordinary woman. Kyra was indeed a princess. _**A princess who just wanted to be normal woman**_. And for the oddest reasons, I was drawn to both personas. Is this how _Joe Bradley_ felt when he saw _Princess Anne_ by the same staircase in the film?  
“Signore?”  
Yet I know I was no _Joe Bradley_ or _a damn actor in a movie_. I was just **Kim Seokjin** , an **_ordinary man in real life who happens to see the future of someone else and ironically happened to fall in love with the woman whom I couldn’t see her future of, had the most mesmeric baby blue eyes in this lifetime, and yes, was a real life princess_**.

“For you, your highness. _Darjeeling tea_.”  
“Grazie...”  
As I gave her the warm cup of tea and watched her sip a bit of it, Kyra’s gaze looked up at me and said,  
“You’ve been staring at me ever since you were carrying my tea and your coffee by the end of this staircase, signore...”  
“Would it be impolite of me if I told you I can’t take my eyes off of you, your highness?”  
Kyra almost choked on her tea as her rosy cheeks turned dark pink and replied,  
“Jeez signore...! Y-You’re really making it hard to stay mad at you! Maledizione!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I had to blink in bewilderment of the last words that came out of Kyra’s mouth.  
“K-Kyra... d-did you just?”  
“Yes! I... I cursed! U-Ugh if _nonno_ had heard me, he’d definitely have a heart attack... I’m so sorry _nonno_...”  
It was Kyra’s turn to look at me bewildered when I started laughing on cue. _And another first time was marked by this woman_.  
“I-It isn’t funny Jin...!”  
“Sorry, sorry... even though this is the first time I actually heard a princess herself curse at somebody else straight to their face, you’re too adorable even when you’re mad signora.”  
“I-I am not listening to another word already...!”  
Looking away from me, Kyra was about to sit down on the staircase until I pulled her by the hand that we ended up in one another’s embrace right here in the _Spanish steps_ in broad daylight.  
“S-Signore Jin... w-why did you suddenly...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“U-Um... well... you’re not allowed to sit on the stairs... unless you want angry police patrollers to bombard you with their nagging in the morning...”  
“A-Ah... I see then...”  
The two of us just maintained our positions and silence for a few more minutes, I’m not even going to dwell on the very fact our racing heartbeats were in tune with each other’s, before I decided to break the ice by asking,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Are you still mad at me, Kyra?”  
“N-Not really... especially you just saved me from getting scolded by the city patrollers in the morning...”  
“If only we could use your princess excuse to bail out...”  
“Jerk...”  
As Kyra snuggled her face on my chest and then peeked up to look at me straight in the face with those blue eyed gaze of hers, my lips turned to a smile telling her,  
“You’re definitely a different princess than _Princess Anne_.”  
“W-What? Princess Anne...? You don’t mean...!”  
Stealing a quick kiss on her lips, I nodded.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes, you’re right your highness... we unknowingly recreated another film scene here together. Although... I’m a way better gentleman than _Joe Bradley_ could ever be. Wouldn’t you agree?”  
Kyra just burst out in a laugh because of my remark as she lightly tapped her pointing finger on my lips saying with a beaming grin,  
“I wholeheartedly agree. Ovviamente, signore Jin. Especially when you have **beautifully plump lips** that he will never have... plus such **chocolate brown hair and mysterious brown eyes** unlike any other.”

Kyra and I exchanged more hugs and echoing laughs before we finished up our morning coffee and tea and went on with the rest of the day.

**  
 _A few hours later...  
Trevi Fountain  
Rome, Italy_

 _BGM: rendezvous 18.6y (LOONA yyxy)_  
“The Trevi fountain... really?”  
“Just like that same summer day last year, Kyra. Only now, the fountain is way bigger than I remembered...”  
After we spent the rest of the morning walking here and there, buying & tasting food here and there, Kyra trying to sneak away to watch street painters sketch here and there, we both ended up at a very notable monument in the _very capital city_ of Italy itself around past noontime. **_A fountain that reflected the beginning of it all_**.  
“W-Wow... it feels like we’re both minuscule while standing here. A-And look at all the coins on the bottom of the fountain signore!”  
“I guess you know about it then. How this wishing fountain also grants anyone who throws a penny to it, goodwill and be able to return to _Rome_.”  
Kyra just smiled at me while taking something out from her dress’ side pocket.  
“Does this answer your question, dear signore?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
And of course, the _same golden penny_ she had left with me back during the day we met and the same one she’d given to me during that winter in Venice, there another one was in the palm of her right hand.  
“And I guess the two gold pennies is for you and I, huh?”  
“Just like the saying goes... **when in Rome, do what the Romans do** , Jin.”  
Without hesitating, I took one of the gold coins and the two of us then threw the two pennies towards the fountain. _It was as if we were recreating the scene too when we met back then_. Yet now, we were barely strangers to each other anymore.

“Not even _Princess Anne and Joe_ were able to do a scene like this... what a shame right, signore?”  
“If you’re trying to distract me from asking you of what you wished for signora, it’s not working one bit.”  
Kyra just gave me a small pout while crossing her arms saying,  
“Hey. I’m not distracting you, for your information, signore Jin.”  
“Okay then. Ti credo. What was your wish this time around, signora Kyra? Wait... wait don’t tell me, it starts with the letter F and ends in E?”  
“Hmph. Simple.”  
My eyes turned a bit wide when Kyra gently grabbed my left hand and said to me while her blue eyes went to to the giant fountain’s view,  
“I wished to return to Rome with you again.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra...”  
“Even if we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future and at the end of this _Roman Holiday_ , I want to come back here with you, Jin.”  
As our fingers intertwined with one another, I gripped tightly onto Kyra’s hand and simply told her,  
“Anche io. Me too, your highness.”

 _“Even if we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future...”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
With those words alone, I felt the irony of it all over again. **_The irony of how I was able to glimpse someone else’s future except for the one person I wanted to know about the most_**.

And yes that undoubtedly frightened me of what was in store for us. And our fates.

**  
 _Around late in the afternoon:_  
 _Pincio Gardens_  
 _Rome, Italy_

 _BGM: blue lagoon (KISSES)_  
“So, how did it feel to drive a _Vespa_ by yourself, your highness?”  
“Hmm... a new experience, I should say. But... the better question would be... I didn’t make you nauseous with my driving skills then, signore?”  
A few hours after our visit to the _Trevi Fountain_ , Kyra and I went exploring one of the most peaceful, uncrowded gardens here in Rome itself, which was a first. But before we could come to this place, we were both recollecting of Kyra’s driving when I rented a _Vespa_ to get here.  
“Well... I’m not _Joe_ and all, but I do guess you were a better driver than _Princess Anne_?”  
“How could you even be so sure of that signore? You’re acting as if you had ridden a _Vespa_ with _Princess Anne_... non essere sciocco.”  
“Did you really just call me silly right now?”  
Kyra just snickered and pinched me childishly on my nose saying,  
“Sì. I did. You’re making us recreate a lot of scenes too from _Roman Holiday_ , you know? I’m starting to get the feeling it’s your favorite film...”  
Pushing back a strand of her honey blonde hair behind her ear, I also snickered at her question while looking at Kyra’s blue eyes.  
“Well, being once an acting major, of course... I can’t help it... the film depicts most of what’s happening to us. But of course too, I’m way more handsome than _Joe Bradley_.”  
“We were both art majors, remember? I know about _Roman Holiday_ and all... and for a fact, you’re obviously not an American news reporter like _Joe_ was. **You’re so much better than he could ever be, you’re not an actor signore. You’re real. You’re real to me**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
 _Flabbergasted_. I was really surprised by what Kyra had to say. It was a mix of relief and nervousness piling up inside of me. It made my chest squeeze.  
“ _Princess Anne_ just wanted a day to be free from being a princess. A one day holiday. Call me greedy, but that’s not what I want. That’s not my dream.”  
I could tell from her blue eyes slightly trembling, Kyra was close to tears that I could only caress the top of her head asking.  
“Then what’s your dream then your highness? If you weren’t Princess Kyra, what would you want to be then?”  
As a few tears dripped down her rosy cheeks, she had to take a deep breath before telling me with a genuine smile,  
“I know I had told you last year that I wanted to be free than anything else in this lifetime... but if we’re talking about dreams... I’ve always wanted to become a painter. A real one.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You really love painting, don’t you Kyra? Why don’t you make that dream a reality then, signora? Is it because of your title?”  
Kyra nodded and said while sniffling and trying to hold back more of her tears,  
“W-What’s the point of achieving a dream that gets handed to you on a silver platter instead of reaching it with your own effort and talent...? There’d be no meaning at all, Jin. Nessuno.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“What’s the point of investing feelings for people who are just going to leave you at one point in the end, Namjoon-ah? There’s just no meaning. Just none.”_  
A certain conversation with Namjoon lingered inside the back of my head. Kyra’s words were a reflection of what I had once said, but both had different significances. I then told her, as if I was also telling my past self,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 **“There’s a point to everything, Kyra. All of our dreams and hope have meaning. That’s what makes us human above all else. We’re allowed to dream and to hope. To make them a reality. Even behind the mistakes we’ll make along the way. To believe that even with all the burdens and hardships, it’ll all be worthwhile in the end.”**  
“T-Those are very deep words, signore Jin. See? You’re a way better man than _Joe_. In all aspects...”  
As I wiped her tears, Kyra then scooted closer to me and wrapped her arms around me while patting me also on the back.  
“S-Signora...”  
“I... I really thank my **lucky stars** that it was you signore Seokjin Kim who happened to find me that day by the fountain.”  
This woman really... doesn’t she know it’s fairly the other way around for me? I think this is how timing and the universe wants to tell me they’re still willing enough to tolerate me for all the shit I’ve done before. **_Out of all the wrong women that came into my life, the 1, the unforeseen one with the kindest blue eyes found me and taught me a lot of firsts_**.  
“T-That should be my line, signora Kyra...”  
Firsts that I’ll keep in mind for the rest of this life.

“Doesn’t this scene remind you of a _fairytale story_ where the prince is rowing the boat while the princess is admiring the view around them?”  
“That’s weird... I don’t recall reading a story like that? And here I thought, you were going to say it reminded you of that winter day back in _Venice_.”  
After our rather deep conversation by the garden, Kyra decided to rent a boat so we could enjoy the sunset view by the garden’s lakeside. Of course, I was the one doing the rowing as she was busy stroking along on the empty canvas with her paintbrush.  
“Ah, that day... how could I forget the day we both fell on the gondola in the damn cold canal and you told me to be yours in return?”  
“C-Cazzo...! Y-You made me mix up my colors signore...!”  
Kyra flushed in perfect cue that I laughed when she cursed at me again.  
“Haaaa... nothing beats a priceless sunset view and a princess sitting across from me and cussing at me altogether.”  
“Need I remind you... you were the one who asked me to be yours first?”  
How could I forget that too?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“I wanted to learn more about the things that you find interesting...!”_  
As I gazed at the princess with the _honey blonde hair and baby blue eyes_ who was busy painting the sunset and lake view we were witnessing right now, to me, **_she was way more beautiful than any view I ever laid eyes on_**. And trust me, I have seen a lot already.  
“There is no way I could ever bring myself to forget my first ever serious confession, your highness.”  
“Davvero? You do tend to say the most unimaginable things plausible ever since, dear signore.”  
The next thing I’m about to say was going to prove what Kyra said otherwise. And myself as well.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Unimaginable huh? Would it be imaginable for you then signora if I said... Ti voglio bene?”  
Kyra’s blue eyes started to shake and her eyelids blinked continuously of my last words as she returned my stare and unknowingly dropped her paintbrush. I too couldn’t even grasp the words that came out of my own mouth.  
“J-Jin... d-did you really just say...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Is there something wrong with me telling you, **I love you** then, Kyra?”  
“I-If you’re joking with me right now, it’s not funny s-signore...!”  
With a sighing smile, I delicately took her right hand and kissed the back of it, where the gleaming ring she cherished the most was again.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sono serio. I’m dead serious, your highness.”  
“S-Signore...”  
God. My chest went into a buzzing fest seeing how much Kyra’s blue eyes complemented her shyly blushing cheeks.  
“I love you, Kyra. **Whether you just want to be a princess or a free woman in my eyes, you made a cynic and jerk like me who didn’t believe in love, believe in it after all**. Grazie mille.”  
When I reached out to stroke Kyra’s chin, she continued to stare into my eyes with a very soothing smile written all over her face. _Her face that lustered underneath the sunset that was setting down from the sky_. As the boat paused in its place, I was about to lean my face closer to hers when,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
“...”  
Droplets of rain then started pouring down above our heads and swiftly got us drenched. Kyra and I eyed each other awkwardly saying,  
“U-Um... signore... I think we should...”  
“A-Ah... r-right...”  
Feeling shy, I quickly took the wooden paddle and rowed the boat towards where we could easily seek shelter together.

 _BGM: Butterflies (Red Velvet)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“It’s coming down heavily huh...”  
“Uh huh... it sure is...”  
 ** _The Temple of Aesculapius_**. That’s where we found shelter from the sudden downpour that befell us. It was a small temple right across the garden’s lake. There was just the two of us, listening to the drip drop sounds from the rain, paired with our resounding heartbeats.  
“Kyra...”  
“Somehow this doesn’t feel like a scene from _Roman Holiday_ or _Romeo and Juliet_ , but... it’s something you’d see in a _classic, old English movie_.”  
Her giggle instantly snapped away the awkward air between us. It made me chuckle in response.  
“Sì. I can picture that out perfectly, signora.”  
“Jin... about what you said by the boat...”  
Taking the blanket we used by the garden a while ago, I then wrapped it around Kyra who started to shiver because of our wet clothes.  
“Signora, you’re trembling... here, use the blanket.”  
“J-Jeez! D-Don’t try to change the subject s-signore...!”  
Both brown and blue eyes then met up in a snap of a finger as Kyra placed both of her warm hands on my still wet cheeks. She had a bit of a pout forming on her lips.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...?”  
“Y-You silly man. H-How am I supposed to tell you **I love you too** if you’re trying to change the subject...?”  
I could almost feel my ears go numb at what I had heard. No wait... I could tell for real that my ears were now going beet red especially when Kyra then pressed a quick kiss near my lips.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your highness... t-that means...”  
“Ti amo anch'io. I love you too, my signore Jin. You deserve to know that. Wait... your ears are turning so r—?!”  
Before Kyra could even finish her syllable, I pressed our lips together as I pulled her closer to my side. Her warmth and scent were the only things I wanted to feel right at that very moment.  
“M-Mmm... s-signore...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Ssh... let me lead you, signora...”  
All of my rational line of thoughts went down the drain as soon as I heard Kyra make soft moaning sounds when our tongues harmonized together. And fuck. _It was electrifying_.  
“H-Haaaa... a-attesa...”  
Giving her a bit of room to breathe, our foreheads leaned on each other’s as I marveled at the _dazed blue eyes_ she was solely making for me. Even the drips of water sliding down her hair and face made me gulp.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“D-Damn... you’re not making this easy for me, your highness...”  
“J-Jin...”  
And with one mention of my name, there was no logical reason that could stop me any longer.  
“Signora, I’m going to make you feel warm. Would you grant me permission...?”  
“Sì... per favore.”

“A-Ahhh... h-hmmm... s-signore...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Hmmm... you’re such a temptress, your highness.”  
As our kissing turned heavier and we could feel one another’s cloudy breath, I then made Kyra sit on top of me as I wrapped my arms around her waist tightly whilst hers tugged onto the back of my hair. We didn’t care if the rain went on. It was the perfect setting to cover up our hoarse groans.  
“A-Aaah...”  
“I-Is that warm enough for you, my signora?”  
“S-Sì...”  
My lips trailed from Kyra’s lips, to the tip of her nose, to her chin, her ears, eyelids, and neckline. I loved how her body jumped and reacted every single time. Her dreamy sighs were melodies to my ears.  
“H-Haaa... J-Jin...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“We’re only beginning, Kyra... _mia amore_...”  
My hands then reached inside her wet blouse and started caressing her hips, her backside, and even her chest. She was driving every part of me crazy.  
“M-Mmm... s-signore... n-non lì...!”  
“Time to take you out of these wet clothes, your highness.”  
Being fast, I unhooked her bra and unbuttoned the buttons on her blouse before I gave her goddess pair of breasts a mellow rubbing that it made Kyra moan that I had to seal her lips with nonstop long kisses.  
“A-Ahhh... t-that feels good...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Glad to hear that then, _mia amore_... here’s more.”  
After my gentle rubbing, my lips then trailed down her bare, wet chest up to her breasts that it made her flinch in pleasure. I then went on to bite her sensitive nipples and teasingly sucked on them that it made Kyra cry in elation while pulling on to my hair more aggressively.  
“C-Cazzo...! S-Signore...!”  
“F-Fuck indeed... y-you’re so stunning my signora...”  
As my lips were busy on her chest, my hands then went to lovingly stroke her thighs until it reached the front of her slightly wet underwear which on cue got Kyra leaning back her head, groaning. My lips just turned to a smile as I kissed her again while also moaning myself.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“D-Damn _la mia signora_... y-you’re wet right here already...”  
“I... I need you... h-ho bisogno di te signore...”

After unzipping her skirt and taking off her belt and shoes, I gaped at the wondrous view of Kyra in her _pearl white, satin_ underwear and unhooked bra. _It was as if she was being illuminated under the moonlight that was shining right above us from the temple_. My heart felt like it wanted to beat out of my chest. Most especially when she then lets down her _honey blonde hair_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“S-Signore...?”  
“S-Sei bellissima... you’re so beautiful, your highness.”  
Kyra smiled sheepishly before she undresses me out of my drenched clothes that we were now bare for each other. Just us with the moon being our only witness. Using the blanket, Kyra then lies down on her back as I move on top of her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra... _mia amore_ , are you sure?”  
“Sì. Surer than the moon right above us, my signore Jin... rendimi tuo.”  
As she puts her right hand on my cheek, I held it and pressed another kiss on it before I removed her bra and slid down her underwear while never removing my gaze away from hers once until,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Time to kiss one more part before we move forward, dear signora.”  
“H-Haaaa... m-mmm...”  
I kissed her most sensitive and sweetest spot before I split both of her legs apart to proceed. Kyra’s back then jolted from my lips’ touch.  
“Don’t you dare hold back any of your screams for me then, okay my _cara principessa_...?”  
And with one approved nod from my princess, I got my go signal to continue.

 _BGM: The Paradise (Weki Meki)_  
“A-Aaaahh... h-hmmm... s-signore...”  
“Iniziamo lentamente, let’s start slow signora...”  
As soon as I entered Kyra, her moans lingered my hearing that I couldn’t help but kiss her repeatedly while starting my thrusts inside of her slowly and carefully. Her body writhed in ecstasy.  
“Baciami più forte... kiss me harder, Jin...”  
“Sì, your wish is my command _mia amore_...”  
With Kyra asking me to kiss her harder, my thrusts also turned a bit faster that she screamed erratically. Even our shortness of breathings weren’t enough to stop us from yelping together.  
“H-Haaa... h-haaaa... s-shit... signore...!”  
“F-Fuck...! K-Kyra...! H-Haaa... h-haaa...”  
 _With every kiss. With every touch. With every scream_. _With every thrust_. It was new. It was bewildering. It was exhilarating. It was everything. To me. To her. To both of us. At this very temple. At the very city of Rome. _In this moonlit season with the rain, Kyra and I now understood what making love had meant_.  
“I... I love you... my signore Jin...! Sì, davvero...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... I love you too... my _cara principessa_... my signora Kyra...! È vero...”  
Continuing to bathe in the moonlight’s blessing and the rain, our hands just held on tightly to one another’s while letting our harsh wails echo around us and our bodies melting together.

“S-Signore... I... I’m... I’m coming...”  
“Cum then, your highness... I’m ready when you are.”  
When we reached the _climax_ of our first time, Kyra just giggled at my reply as she kissed me grinningly on the lips before I moved and finished up my last thrusts inside of her.  
“A-Ahhmm... A-Ahhhh...! J-Jin...!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit...! K-Kyra...! A-Almost there...”  
“M-Maledizione... s-signore...!”  
As a last move, my lips moved down to her clit and sucked on it for one more time. Taking in all of her sweetness and taste. Kyra squealed gladly with her fingertips digging intensely on my broad back.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Scopata...! Y-You should definitely taste yourself now, your highness. Come here.”  
I let Kyra get a taste of herself that aroused me from head to toe all over even when we reached the finish line with our lips sticking to each other again and again.  
“A-Aahh... m-mmm... _m-mio tesoro_... p-per favore...”  
And on cue, my head plops down to her chest in exhaustion as we were still trying to catch up with our heavy breathing after what occurred.  
“H-Haaaaaa... t-that was...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-Something else...”  
Kyra’s _blue eyes_ then found my _brown ones_ as I listened to the heavy pounding of her chest and we just fell to cheery laughs while she started patting me at the back of my messed up hair and I pecked a kiss on her chest.  
“It looks like the rain had stopped, Jin...”  
“Looks like it, Kyra...”  
I then moved to lie down beside her and let her head rest on my right arm as we spooned together, just looking into each other’s eyes.  
“Would it be weird if I ask you how was your first time of making love, _mia principessa_?”  
“Straordinario. Unbelievably amazing, my dear signore.”  
Stroking her very rosy cheeks being lighted under the bask of the moonlight, in my eyes, _Kyra’s entire bare body looked like as if it was glistening like the ring on her finger_. Maybe even more so. **_I felt like a lost sailor at sea being saved by those surreal blue eyes, my lighthouse_**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Paradiso. That’s what you are to me, Kyra.”  
“Ti amo tanto. That’s how much you mean to me, Jin.”  
Getting to hear such _once-in-a-lifetime words_ from a _once-in-lifetime woman_ herself, there’s nothing more I could wish for as we engulfed more in our warmth and our lips meeting up to do the rest.

As the moonlit night grew on, so did my love for Kyra. And for once, I knew what paradise had felt like. _It wasn’t somewhere after all, it was a someone. **A miraculous someone**_.

***  
 _End of Winter, 1978:_  
 _La Scala Opera_  
 _Milan, Italy_

 _BGM: Love Is You (Standing Egg)_  
“H-Haaa... h-haaa... signore... the show’s about to start...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Haaa... I’d rather do something more fulfilling with you, your highness.”  
Kyra and I were having a quick intimate conversation by a far corner in the opera house until she pinched me hard on the cheeks as I ignored her words and went on to peck her many times on the neck.  
“A-Ah... a-ah...! O-Ouch that hurts, Kyra...!”  
“Jeez! That’s because you weren’t listening...! Now wipe that smirk away from your lips at once so we can go back to our seats!”  
“Hmm... as much as I love seeing your slightly upset face, I can’t disobey your highness.”  
With our make-out session by the wall put to a halt for now, we helped each other fix our now lightly creased clothes before we made a run back towards the opera stage seats as the show was about to start.

“Phew... we made it back in time.”  
“I would’ve punched you for real if we even missed a second of the play, signore Jin.”  
Pressing a kiss on her right cheek, I just took both of Kyra’s hands and squeezed it tightly with mine.  
“I’ll let you punch me later when we’re alone together, _mia amore_.”  
“I’ll take you up on that offer you dork, but now... ssh! It’s starting!”  
As the red curtains then opened, the play we booked to watch then began. It’s been more than a year already since that summer in Rome. We stayed in Rome for a few more months before we traveled to other cities in Italy like _Florence, Naples, Turin_ around the start of 1978. And around late autumn, we found ourselves here in _Milan_ until as of now. **_I was no longer the cynic, non-believer of love, kind of traveler whilst Kyra was still the missing princess that people couldn’t recognize since 1976_**. It’s still implausible how long Kyra’s wish had an effect.  
“I wonder if how long is this dream going to last...”  
“Hmm? Did you say something, signore?”  
I just gave Kyra a smile while shaking my head saying,  
“No. Non è niente. It’s nothing, my signora.”  
There was no point in dwelling over something that may or may not happen soon, but as long as my princess with the _baby blue eyes_ still wanted me by her side, _**fuck fate and the universe**_. I vowed to myself that I’ll protect her happiness no matter what and who comes her way.

I didn’t know I would find myself eating my own words a few hours after that.

“Rimarchevole... t-that was so incredible! What did you think about it, signore?”  
A few minutes after the play’s curtains closed at the end, Kyra looked at me filled with giddiness in her voice.  
“To be honest... I only concentrated on your reactions the whole time, signora.”  
“Really... Jin... am I more interesting than an opera play?”  
Kissing her forehead, I nodded without second thoughts and said,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Always, Kyra.”  
“Maybe I should give you the punch that you owed me now. The sugarcoating signore is at it again.”  
Rolling her eyes playfully at me, we laughed at our usual teasing remarks with one another before I then pulled a _small black box_ from my coat’s pocket.  
“There will be no punching of what I’m about to do right now, my signora.”  
“J-Jin... w-what are you trying to s—?!”  
Kyra’s eyes quivered in awe as I handed over the small box I was holding in my hands.  
“This is going to be very cliché of me, more cliché than _Romeo’s_ cheeky lines for _Juliet_ , but I want you to have this Kyra.”  
“Signore...”  
“Don’t cry on me before you even open it.”  
While I wiped the dry tears forming around her eyes, Kyra just scoffed a little laugh paired with her feigned mad expression before she opened the box.  
“O-Oh mio... t-this...!”  
As she focused her blue stare at me, I gave her a light peck on the lips and gleeful smile telling Kyra,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Buon compleanno. Happy birthday, your highness.”  
“J-Jin...”  
Kyra then hugged me tightly as more of her tears cascaded down her cheeks while holding firmly what was inside the black box in her right hand.  
“Do you like it?”  
“Is that even a legitimate question, signore? Grazie. Grazie mille. It’s beautiful.”  
It was an **_aquamarine necklace_**. To complement the aquamarine ring she was wearing and she held so dearly from her grandparents.  
“It’s a _white gold, Aquamarine Pavé Crown Diamond Halo Drop Pendant_ or so as the signora from the jewelry shop had told me.”  
“You really chose an aquamarine stone just like what my _nonno_ and _nonna_ had given to me in a ring. And has a little crown connecting it to the teardrop shaped pendant.”  
“Well... it is your birthstone after all. **The stone of courage**. It really describes you perfectly, _mia amore_. And yes... the little crown was an added plus since you’re a princess and all.”  
Kyra gaped at the necklace so lovingly that it made my chest feel all kinds of warmth take over.  
“I’ll treasure it. Sempre. I now have **three most important keepsakes** with me to treasure.”  
Three treasures? I blinked in confusion of what she’d meant.  
“Hmm? Three? Your ring? The necklace? What’s the last one?”  
Kyra then planted a soft, genial kiss on my lips as she told me while stroking my left cheek,  
“ **You** , my signore. **The realest keepsake I’ve been blessed with in this life**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
“Will you help me wear it then, signore Jin?”  
“It would be an honor, signora Kyra.”  
As I unlocked the necklace’s lock, Kyra then pulled back her honey blonde hair before I helped her wear the silver necklace. When I then stared at the woman with the _smiling blue eyes_ , I could feel a bit of tears also forming around my eyes.  
“How does it look on me, signore?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Perfetto, my signora Kyra. Happy birthday again. Thank you for existing, your highness.”  
“I love you, my signore Jin. Grazie di esistere.”  
We shared another kiss together and affectionate embrace. _An embrace that spelt out all of our tender feelings for each other_. An embrace that made a few tears drip down my eyes.

*  
 _A few hours later,_  
 _Around Brera district_  
 _Milan, Italy_

 _BGM: You and I in this hard day (Kassy)_  
“That late lunch wasn’t so satisfying huh, signora?”  
“I very much agree, signore. I’d rather eat those seaweed rice rolls from your home country that you made for me last week...!”  
We were walking around and passing the time at Brera district in _Milan_. After the unsatisfying lunch we had, Kyra and I still felt a bit hungry so we were looking for somewhere to eat.  
“Oh, those rolls are called _kimbap_ , your highness. Why don’t we stopover the market before we head back later today?”  
“Yes! Per favore! Your cooking is very much better than the restaurants we’ve been to together ever since... especially foods from Korea! Delizioso.”  
As our conversation then went quickly to food, we were just walking along the streets leisurely until,  
“Monsieur Seokjin, is that you?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I immediately froze at the voice and silhouette that then stood a few steps away from Kyra and I. If it were my old self, I would have ignored and walked away like the damn jerk I always was. But now... guilt started to eat me up at the sight of one of the many women I’ve hurt before back in university.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“O-Odette... how nice to see you after all these years.”  
 _“H-How dare you break up with me through a damn sticky note?!”_  
Flashbacks to that day in the library and her upset looking brown eyes haunted my thoughts on cue. Kyra just maintained her poker face and polite smile as Odette then approached us saying with a sarcastic smile,  
“Non, non, monsieur. What are the chances I’d bump into you of all people? How nice to see you too with another woman in your arms. Is she your new one for the week? The month? Hmm?”  
Well, I’m fucked. I guess it’s true they say that **_karma does come back to bite us all on the arse_**. And right here, right now, one of the two most important things I haven’t gotten the chance to tell Kyra yet, revealed itself in front of me in the most twisted way possible.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“O-Odette, I know you’re not looking for an explanation but if you’d give me the chance to explain and apologize...”  
“Ha? Apologize? Pathétique! Say mademoiselle, it’d be better for you to leave this man for your own sake. He’s not whom you think he is. He’s just using you to pass time since he’s a cynic who doesn’t give shit about someone else’s feelings and love itself.”  
As Odette flashed a mocking smile at me before she turned her attention to Kyra who kept her silence the entire time, the former was about to reach out her hand to the latter saying,  
“I’m Odette by the way, why don’t you ditch this pitiful excuse of a man and we get ourselves some real men! Qu'en dis-tu?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora...”  
I wouldn’t blame Kyra from walking out of this conversation right now and even walking out of my life altogether because I somehow deserved it. _And here I thought, a shitty jerk such as myself had a right to be happy for once_. Guess I was wrong. But then,  
“Pardon. Ne me touche pas si par hasard mademoiselle. Nous ne sommes pas amis.”  
“...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra?”  
Odette could only stare at Kyra in disbelief at how she replied in perfect _French_ too. I was just as surprised at how calmly she was smiling while saying such direct words.  
“Y-You’re French?”  
“Pourquoi tu demandes? Firstly, I have no obligation whatsoever to answer your question, mademoiselle Odette. Secondly, it’s very impolite to talk to someone like that when you’ve just seen each other after quite some time. Thirdly, it’s very impolite of you to talk to my lover like that. Tes parents ne t’ont pas appris les manières?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Signora...”  
Kyra’s _resolute blue eyes_ made my heart pound. And her resolute words as well. She stood there dignified and once again, I reminded myself that this extraordinary woman holding tightly onto my arm was a princess, _a princess that had the most calming smile but had dagger-like words and retorts_.  
“How dare you try to question if I have manners or what when I’m trying to be the better person here and warning you about this man?!”  
As Odette was about to slap her on the face, Kyra reacted in a snap and grabbed her hand by the wrist just in time saying,  
“ **A woman who doesn’t know how to respect and mind someone else’s business is no better than a woman who doesn’t know how to respect herself**. Whatever occurred between you and monsieur Seokjin here in the past is none of my business, but telling me to leave him at present is also none of your business mademoiselle. Prenez donc votre colère ailleurs.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra...”  
“Hmph. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, mademoiselle. Juste dire.”  
As Odette then jerked her hand away from Kyra’s grip, she was about to turn her back at us and exit the scenario. Kyra then whispered to me,  
“Signore? Are you really okay with just letting her walk away without saying what you really wanted to say?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Signora...”  
She gave me a very straightforward smile and nod saying,  
“Andare. Go. Be honest with her, Jin.”  
And before I knew it, my feet then took over me as I then chased Odette’s silhouette. Kyra proved it to me again and again. _I... I wasn’t the same pathetic man I was in the past_.

_Half an hour later:_   
_A cafe by Brera district_   
_Milan, Italy_

_BGM: To My Unloving Self (Park Boram)_  
“I didn’t expect you’d be fluent in French, signora... you’re really amazing.”  
“I’m fluent in _Italian, French, and English_ signore. But, don’t you think we should change the subject on more important matters?”  
After the whole incident with regards to Odette, Kyra and I found ourselves at an uncrowded cafe. I knew one way and another we were going to have this talk. I also knew I needed to be honest with her as well. Kyra stared at me silently with her _blue eyes_ while taking sips from her cup of tea.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra, thank you for what you said back there. And about Odette...”  
“Jin, I meant what I had said to her. **I have no intention and such to judge you for your past, your past before we even met because I have no right to do that**. If you find it difficult to share what happened in the past, I won’t ask any further.”  
“Signora,”  
“What matters to me is the person sitting right in front of me. **I won’t take her word against yours** , that I assure you.”  
This woman... she’s really something else. I knew for a fact that having to deal with something like that wasn’t easy for her, but she still stood there, dignified with a smile on her face. _This is how Kyra’s upbringing and her real self shined through and through especially when you look into her baby blue eyes_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Your highness, I’ll tell you then. A big secret about me that I didn’t share with you because of the fear you’ll resent me of my real nature.”  
“Signore Jin...”  
Taking a deep breath in and out, I finally confessed to Kyra what kind of person I really was.  
“Signora, Odette was my ex-girlfriend. One of my ex-girlfriends back in university. She wasn’t lying when she told you that I didn’t give a damn about feelings and the like back then. And even until a few years ago. I was indeed a cynic and nonbeliever in love. Not to mention, I was called ‘ _the lady’s killer_ ’ during my days in Cambridge, which is something not to proud of. **Making women cry and curse at me is something I will never be proud of**.”  
“...”  
Kyra just listened without uttering a single word. I couldn’t easily tell what her facial expression was trying to say. I continued on.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I remembered making three women cry in a matter of a week. I was a real fucking dunce back then, and even now. **Feelings were a burden to me. Letting someone get too close was a burden**. My relationships with other women were all just casual and I never bothered to take any of them seriously. When I noticed they were getting too clingy and needy, I cut them out at once.”  
“...”  
Not one word from Kyra still. My heart squeezed anxiously of where this silence was heading. Is this how Odette and all the other women who passed by my life before had felt when I just threw their feelings away so easily with my silence and harsh words? _And nothing was way harsher than silence itself, I had realized_. If this is her reaction, _**how... just how am I able to tell her that I can even see someone else’s damn future through their eyes except hers**_?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I won’t blame you if you want to strip yourself out of my life, signora. After hearing what Odette had to say, you might start doubting all of the words and actions I had said and shown to you the entirety of the time we were together. I have no excuse. You’re such a wonderful woman, Kyra. You deserve a better man. That’s why...”  
Looks like this _once-in-a-lifetime dream_ will finally come to an end today.  
“If you really think you’re going to scare me away easily with those paltry choice of words that sounded like self-pity, I really want to punch you right now signore.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What did she say just now?!  
“K-Kyra...”  
“Veramente. Did you really think I would leave you or I’d even consider that without you hearing what I had to say first? Signore... you have little faith in me, don’t you?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“N-No! It isn’t like that at all, signora...!”  
Kyra’s _blue eyes_ stared at me in frustration. However she wasn’t frustrated because I kept a secret from her, **_she was frustrated because I’d rather let her leave me instead of holding on to me_**. With a wry smile, the first crooked smile she had ever made for me, she said,  
“ _N-Nonno_ used to tell me that I shouldn’t judge people for whatever past they had to live with. **Because what happens in the past has long gone. And there was no utter use in worrying about the future that may or may never come. This present time is all we have** , that’s what he told me.”  
“Your highness...”  
“I... I’d be lying if I tell you that I’m not upset of what you had to withhold from me, but I know... I know you had to keep it from me for a good reason because it’s your past. Your past that made you who you are today. And... I respect that. But you know what hurts the most... Jin?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra...”  
“The fact that this conversation would’ve never even happened if we didn’t encounter mademoiselle Odette. **The fact that you’d tell me to leave you even after everything we’ve been through**? It... it really hurts you know. M-Mi sento ferito.”  
And on cue, it felt like my entire heart was crushed into a thousand pieces the moment tears slid down Kyra’s _blue eyes_. And those weren’t tears of happiness at all.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora!”  
“Per favore. Please... I... I’d like to be alone for now.”  
As she stood up from the chair, Kyra just caressed me slightly on my cheeks before she said to me with one last smile before leaving me to reflect all alone,  
“If you want to find me, you’ll know where I’ll be signore. Ciao per adesso...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra...”

As I watched Kyra’s silhouette shrink as she walks away, I could only let out a long sigh and leaned my head back on the chair, with hurt and agony flooding me from head to toe.  
“F-Fuck... I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Kyra...”

**  
 _Hours later..._  
 _Towards Torre Branca_  
 _Milan, Italy_

 _BGM: Remind of You (CHUNG HA)_  
While I was running to one direction alone, I recalled the conversation I had with Odette a while ago as my pounding heartbeat also raced along and echoed.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Odette, I know... I know I’m the last person you want to see or even hear an apology from, but someone... someone important had told me that I should chase after you so I can tell you what I really want to say after all this time.”  
“You have five minutes, monsieur.”  
Taking a big deep breath in and out, I then bowed my head in apology and finally told her,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Even if you don’t ever forgive me, I want to say sorry anyway. I’m sorry for being a fucking jerk to you back in university. I’m sorry for treating your feelings uncaringly. And... I’m sorry for never appreciating you even once back then. And lastly... thank you. Thank you for liking an arse fool like me.”  
There were a few minutes of silence between us before I then heard Odette let out a long sigh saying with her arms crossed,  
“Haaa... d'accord. Raise your head already, monsieur. You’ve really changed huh? The you in university would never stoop to bowing or even apologizing to someone unless they’re close to you and all... but now, it’s obvious that you’re not the same jerk back then.”  
“Odette...”  
“Looks like the mademoiselle who was with you... Kyra was her name right?”  
I nodded at her question as she sneaked a glance towards the signora who was waiting for me at a distance from where we were standing.  
“Mademoiselle Kyra must be the reason why you’re a far different man than you used to be huh?”  
Closing my eyes for an instant, I nodded and replied to her with a genuine smile forming on my lips,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. Yes, she absolutely is. I owe a lot of firsts to her. A lot of worthwhile firsts a shitty man like me didn’t deserve but because of her, it was just possible. **She made it possible for me, the word happiness**.”  
“I see... you’ve even learned how to smile so earnestly now. That mademoiselle must be the real deal. **Don’t let go of someone like that, Seokjin**.”  
“Odette...”  
My eyes then turned wide in shock when she out of the blue slapped me on my left arm before telling me with a laugh,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
“Just because I’ve forgiven you doesn’t mean I’ll easily forget everything, Seokjin! I’m going to slap you in the face again if you start messing around. Compris? Understand me?”  
And right on cue, as I stared at Odette’s brown eyes, a little epiphany came to me at the back of my head.  
 _“Ma chère, a woman with blue eyes once told me, to respect other people, I should respect myself first above all. I hope Seokjin and her are still happy together wherever they are.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
It’s been a very long while since I saw someone else’s future. With Kyra being a special case, I saw a glimpse of Odette’s. She was beaming so heartily below the _Eiffel Tower_ with a man holding her hand right beside her. And that little epiphany made me feel so contented on the inside.  
“Seokjin?”  
“I understand. You don’t have to worry about that, Odette. And I hope you’ll find your own happiness too very soon. I just know it this time around.”

Having that conversation with Odette, it made me realize a bit late. How _my universe_ stopped moving around its orbit and made me stagnant, leaving me void of what real sentimental emotions are. **_Yet, it all started revolving again when my orbit found the blue eyed princess. My orbit led me to her in the wide open space_**.  
 _“You, my signore. The realest keepsake I’ve been blessed with in this life.”_  
 _“The fact that you’d tell me to leave you even after everything we’ve been through? It... it really hurts you know.”_  
 _“That mademoiselle must be the real deal. Don’t let go of someone like that, Seokjin.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...!”  
I just ran. I just ran as if I was running for my life. Running towards where that one important woman could be. Hoping and even praying that I didn’t ruin the one real relationship that made me a better person overall, _like the miracle she was and is_. **_My universe. My orbit._**  
 _“Signore Jin...!”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I... I won’t let you go... I refuse to let this story end, signora...!”  
And then came another first for me. _The first time I wanted to be selfish for once. **I shut myself out of what it really means to love someone in order not to get myself hurt in the process**_. But never again. Now that I have someone who wants to hold on to me, I’m never letting go of her hand.

Not even the _unreliable ways of fate and timing_ are going to fuck this up. I will never let them.

 _BGM: Universe (LOONA)_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
As I ran out of the lift after it reached the topmost part of the tower, there she was. Her _honey blonde hair_ was being swayed gently by the breeze while her _blue eyes_ were concentrating on the unparalleled view of the whole city of _Milan_ in front of her with a slightly wistful smile on her lips. **_She wasn’t a dream. She was real. She had always been real._**  
“I’ve always looked at a bird’s eye view of every city I’ve visited with him. From that tower in _Verona_ where he asked me if I wanted to trust him, to that spiral staircase in _Venice_ where he asked permission to kiss me, to that beautiful garden in _Rome_ where we made love to each other while it was raining, and so on. I... How am I even here without him beside me...?”  
My heart broke all over again at the sight of Kyra’s tears glistening from the sunset’s reflection. Now I understood that painful squeezing from my chest would happen every time I saw Kyra smile at me and cry because of me. Not hesitating any longer, I clenched my hands into fists before I let my voice echo and calling out,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra!”  
“?!”  
As Kyra flinched at the sound of my voice, she was about to turn around but being quick enough, I ran to her and wrapped her firmly in my arms even though I was shaking myself.  
“J-Jin? H-How did you...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Sciocco donna... I... I came to find you of course, your highness. There is no better place in all of _Milan_ to see such a splendid view of this city... but I’m glad I found you above all else.”  
Feeling the chest part of my sweater going wet, I knew it could only be Kyra’s tears as she accepted my embrace and tugged tightly onto my back while sniffling in between her soft sobs.  
“G-Grazie for finding me then. Mission accomplished...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... I love you a whole lot, signora... e-even if it was just a pure play of chance when we both met... **m-my orbit in this universe started spinning again because of you**... s-so... g-grazie mille... thank you for landing your orbit into mine that summer... t-thank you for giving me this **once-in-a-lifetime chance... like a miracle**.”  
“J-Jin...”  
As we gazed into each other’s eyes with tears in both of our eyes as well, Kyra reached out and wiped the tears on my cheeks with a smile before I asked her honestly,  
“A-Are you still willing to hold on to me even if I’m like this Kyra?”  
It didn’t even take a second for Kyra to reply next with those _ever genuine blue eyes_ of hers while the sunset’s rays then shined on the _blue stone necklace_ around her neck,  
“Sì. You finally said it, signore Jin. I will hold on to you. Sempre. Per sempre.”  
With just that one reply, _I made a vow to myself again to hold on to this woman and her hand, be it in the good times and trying times_ , underneath the eyewitness of the sunset colored sky. And I sealed that vow with a gripping kiss on her lips.

“Did you like being called a _lady’s killer_ back during your university days, signore?”  
After we laid out our real feelings for one another, Kyra and I continued to watch the sunset view from the tower while I was wrapping my arms tightly around her waist and standing right behind her. It was a very heartfelt moment until she popped such an unexpected question.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Do you want an honest answer or a right answer?”  
She then glanced back at me with a slight glare showing off through her eyes.  
“Jin...”  
“Okay, okay your highness. I did find myself getting attached to that odd title given to me in the past. I remember how my close friend in university used to ask me why I enjoyed being called a _prick_ to women back then.”  
“Sometimes we do tend to lose sight of ourselves when we get too absorbed in a title. I completely understand that feeling myself all too well.”  
Kyra said to me as she squeezed both of my hands with hers. What was she trying to really say?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra...”  
“Alright, that’s enough somber thoughts. Should I even ask how many relationships you got into, signore _Casanova_ Jin?”  
As she immediately changed the subject, I got the feeling that there was more to what Kyra said just now, but I decided to let it be out of respect for her own share of secrets. _Because I too still had one more valuable thing I haven’t said to her yet_. So, I went with the flow of our conversation for now.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Do you really want to know the answer to that, _mia amore_?”  
As I countered her question with another question, Kyra just scoffed and chuckled saying while turning around that we were now so close to each other upfront, with her looking up at me and I meeting her eyes as my arms were still wrapped around her waist.  
“Ovviamente! Don’t think you can dodge this question so easily, signore _Casanova_!”  
“Hmm... did you really just give me a new nickname, your highness?”  
I could see the slightly miffed expression in Kyra’s face because of my answer that I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling too.  
“So you’re going to play like this huh, signore? Allora va bene. At least you’re not going to know how many suitors I’ve had to experience too.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
And right then and there, my laughing face turned upside down at the mention of the word ‘ _suitors_ ’ from Kyra’s mouth. She really caught me in the net like a newly hooked fish as she giggled slyly.  
“S-Suitors? P-Plural...?”  
With a light giggle, Kyra just tiptoed and pressed her lips on mine again gingerly before she effortlessly removed my arms on her waist and headed towards where the tower’s lift was.  
“Sì. Plural. But of course, you’re never going to know now. Haaaa... anyway, let’s get going then.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“A-Aspetta! H-Hey! W-Wait! S-Signora! I take back what I said...! I’ll tell you...!”  
Before Kyra was about to enter the lift, I quickened my footsteps and managed to pull her closer to me through a back hug just in time.  
“H-Hey...! L-Let me go signore _Casanova_!”  
“Not until you tell me how many flocks of gentlemen had already escorted you! **Don’t tell me they’re more handsome than I am**? I highly doubt that though.”  
As Kyra was trying to escape my arms’ embrace, it was no use as I tried to sway her back and forth since she was so light to carry that she could only squeal in distress.  
“You’re not going to let this go, aren’t you my signore Jin?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“No. Because I also have no intention of letting you go, _mia principessa_. Ever.”

With the sunset colored sky turning to twilight, Kyra and I stepped into the lift together and as she leaned her head on my right shoulder while our hands were still entwined with each other’s, I couldn’t ask for anything more.

But of course, Kyra surprised me all over on repeat with another unforeseen question the minute we reached the very ground of the tower.  
“Jin, will you come with me to _**Monaco**_ as our last stop for this very long Roman Holiday?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”

And because of that one question, it was now undeniable. Mine and Kyra’s story was definitely different from _Joe and Princess Anne’s_. And I liked our version better.

For now.

***  
 _Summer of 1979:  
Les Jardins Saint-Martin  
Principality of Monaco_

 _BGM: I dream (ELKIE of CLC)_  
“What wish did you make to the fountain, Kyra?”  
“How will it come true if I tell you every time you ask me that when we’re at a fountain together Jin?”  
After we threw the _gold pennies_ to the water, Kyra and I just laughed at each other’s ridiculous questions as we stood in front of a fountain in the middle of the peaceful garden here in her home country. It seems fountains always like to follow us wherever ever since. Right after _Milan_ , we traveled to the _other cities in Italy_ for the rest of the months last year and around in the middle of spring this year, we finally reached _the last stop of our very long, Roman Holiday_. It was none other than the **_Principality of Monaco_** itself. Home of Princess Kyra herself.  
 _“Jin, will you come with me to Monaco...?”_  
I still could recall the memory of how she had asked me that so nonchalantly back then. My lips unknowingly turned to a smile as I was stuck in my own thoughts that I hadn’t noticed I was already ignoring Kyra right beside me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“Signore Jin?”  
“...”  
“J-Jin!”  
“Hmm?! W-What’s wrong?!”  
Kyra giggled at my wide-eyed reaction while patting gently my cheek with her right hand whilst her left one squeezed my hand that was holding hers.  
“Jeez... you spaced out again. Funny how you do that every time we’re standing in front of a fountain, whether we’re in **Verona, Rome, and even here**.”  
“A-Ah, sorry sorry _mia amore_. I got lost in thought after remembering the moment you asked me to come here to Monaco with you back in Milan.”  
 _It was a big risk to come here, to come to Monaco_. There was no way that Kyra’s wish would still have an effect here, most especially since anyone would be able to recognize her in her own home country. But... almost after two months of being here, _**nobody still knew that the princess they’ve all been looking for was right under their very noses after all these years**_.  
“To be honest with you signore, it feels a bit weird to be back here... to come back here and have no one recognize you as the princess. Weird in a very good way though.”  
“Well, at least your lifelong dream of being able to feel **free** can now happen at your own homeland, your highness. Right?”  
“Lo so, my signore. To be able to experience being free for so long while looking at the view I’ve seen ever since I was a little girl and have someone I treasure be with me, I’m already at bliss.”  
As Kyra then walked us towards the astonishing view of Monaco we could see from the garden a short distance away from the fountain, I sneaked a glance at her ever mesmeric side profile with her _blue eyes_ smiling so wondrously through the summer sun’s reflection.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Your home country’s view is really extraordinary like you, _principessa_.”  
“It’s too early for you to be this cheeky, signore _Casanova_. But... grazie. Thank you for saying you love the view of Monaco, that means a lot to me as a person who grew up here and as a princess of this country.”  
I didn’t hesitate to bring my face closer to hers and made our lips touch one another’s for a few seconds that it made the rosiness of Kyra’s cheeks even more evident and our hearts pound even more loudly.  
“J-Jin...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“And grazie. Thank you too for deciding to make Monaco our last stop, Kyra. I know it wasn’t easy for you to come back after the years you spent away from here, and even risking how you might be recognized. Lo apprezzo. I appreciate it.”  
We both exchanged coy smiles at each other before we returned to gape at the scenery for a little while longer altogether.

*  
 _An hour later:_  
 _Cathédrale de Monaco_

 _BGM: I dream (ELKIE of CLC) continuation_  
“Hmm?”  
“I wonder what’s going on over there?”  
Kyra and I were walking around and talking about the differences between all the places we’ve seen and here in Monaco itself until we stumbled across a _big church_ which made her and I stop on cue upon seeing something happening by that place.  
“Congratulazioni!”  
“Lunga vita alla coppia felice!”  
And as soon Kyra and I witnessed a _beautiful bride stepping out of the church’s doors_ with her groom right beside her and the rest of the people around them throwing flower petals over the two of them, it was pretty obvious it could only be a wedding that we saw with our own eyes.  
“W-Wow... to think we’d get to see a real life wedding happening right now huh your h——,”  
When I glanced to look at Kyra’s side profile, my heart almost stopped when I saw small tears gliding down her _blue eyes_ even though her lips were smiling while looking at the brightly shining married couple by outside of the church.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra?”  
“Che bello... what a beautiful sight to see... they look so happy too together, Jin.”  
But why... why did it look like even though she was smiling through her lips, **_her baby blue eyes had a wistful gaze instead_**?  
“ _The Cathédrale_ used to be closed to the public and was only used to hold weddings and other religious events for the royal family, even as a burial place for past sovereigns. But with time passing, the church’s doors were opened for everyone here in Monaco.”  
“Your highness...”  
“It’s my first time to witness after all these years too, **a real wedding**.”  
What did she mean?  
“ _Mia amore_... what do you mean by real wedding? Haven’t you attended thousands of weddings being a princess?”  
Kyra took both of my hands and held them so tightly before smiling so warmly at me saying as the rest of her tears cascaded down,  
“Yes. Yes I have signore. But... **none of those weddings had touched or moved me the way this one we happened to see just now did**. There weren’t any traditional formalities to follow, nor a big crowd to witness every little thing. You could tell... **you could tell that they got married out of their heartfelt feelings for one another just by how he looks at her and she in return**. That’s already a priceless blessing to have in this life that not every one of us is privileged to have.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 ** _“That’s already a priceless blessing to have in this life that not every one of us is privileged to have.”_**  
“K-Kyra...”  
I then knew. I knew that the wedding might have stirred something inside of Kyra for her to say such somber words with a smile on her face. I could only gently pull her closer to me and hugged her firmly in my arms.  
“Signora... I know you’re trying to hold yourself back from something that causes your heart to ache... but know this, I’ll be here by your side just like how you’d been by my side when I didn’t deserve to, but you did so anyway.”  
“J-Jin... t-thank you for saying that signore. I’ll be by your side even when you’ll grow tired of me.”  
Letting out a soft chuckle, I slightly loosened my embrace around Kyra, caressed her cheeks, and wiped off the signs of tears flooding her now slightly swollen blue eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“È impossibile. That’s not a possibility, your highness. I haven’t even gotten to see you in a wedding dress yet. **You’d be the most awe-inspiring bride to walk this phase of the earth**.”  
“S-Signore...”  
There’s that wistful look in her eyes again. As I was about to ask her, both of us could only flinch the second a bouquet of **_white and purple Calla Lillies flowers_** then flew and landed straight in Kyra’s hands.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra... i-is that...?”  
“I... I think it is Jin...”

Before we even knew it, Kyra and I could only blink and look at each other in bewilderment as we started hearing claps and cheers from the bridge, groom, and their visitors by the Cathédrale.  
“Oh! It looks like another couple caught your bridal bouquet, tesoro mio!”  
“È incredibile! Take care of that bouquet for me, signore! Signora!”  
We both couldn’t stop ourselves from laughing at the very ludicrous situation that just happened. Kyra’s somber tears were then replaced by relieved tears. _I’d take those kind of tears any day instead of her sad ones_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Another first out of the many firsts you and I have done together once again, **my signora who’s going to be a future bride**.”  
“Don’t start with me again with that tone of yours, signore _Casanova_ Jin.”

I continued to watch zealously the woman with the _honey blonde hair and baby blue eyes_ hold the flower bouquet in her hands with the most precious smile I’ve had the privilege to see so close in this life as the _Cathédrale’s_ bells started echoing in the background.

Yet, not even the bells’ sounds were enough to snap me away from **_the 1 person standing in front of me. Just her. And only her_**.

**  
 _Around early afternoon:  
Princess Grace Rose Garden_

 _BGM: Dandelion (BOL4)  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Are you sure it’s okay for us to be here, signora?”  
“We won’t get caught if we keep our voices down, signore.”  
With after what happened at the _Cathédrale_ , we stopped over for lunch and found ourselves sneaking inside a private garden that grew the most stunning of roses I’ve ever seen. Bushes of them filled the whole place in different varieties and colors.  
“This garden isn’t going to be open to the public yet, so doesn’t it make it more thrilling to come here? I’ve always wanted to come and see this amazing place, Jin.”  
“You never fail to amaze me as well, your highness.”  
As we had the whole garden to ourselves and Kyra assured me that no one would be able to disturb us here, we walked around in wonderment.

“Why is this place still closed to the public, Kyra?”  
“Oh, right... the garden is still in the final works of being revealed completely to the public, signore. Maybe in a few years, I’m hoping for that to happen. **This very place was built by an actual Prince here in Monaco as a tribute to his wife**.”  
Kyra and I then sat on one of the benches overlooking the whole view of the garden itself.  
“Wow... should I make you a garden too, _mia amore_?”  
She giggled at what I had to say as I tucked a bit of her dangling hair behind her ear.  
“No, non è necessario my signore. **I’d rather have you build me a museum filled with all of my paintings instead**.”  
“That’ll be a long shot but I’ll see what I can do, your highness.”  
We just laughed while lowering our voices because we can’t bear to have our secret rendezvous in this exquisite garden be exposed.  
“It’s so majestic that each bush has a different kind of rose and a different rose color too. I’ve gotta give my props to the prince for his A++ effort.”  
“Let me tell you another secret about these roses, Jin. Each special rose grown here are named after the Princesses and Princes of the royal family.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-What? Really? S-Straordinario... then that means you have one named after you?”  
Kyra nodded before she took me by the hand and led us both to a bush near the fountain right in the middle of the whole garden. Yes, who would’ve thought that there’d also be a fountain here of all things?  
“This little one right here. This is **the white rose named Kyrea Raylene**.”  
“A white rose huh? Funny how these roses are the most used in bridal bouquets too, your highness. **Eternal loyalty and everlasting love**. It really suits who you are, Kyra.”  
“There’s nothing more attractive than a signore who knows about flowers as well, Jin.”  
Without second thoughts, I confessed to her,  
“Let’s just say my close friend in university used to tell me about the language of flowers in between his law studies. He’s such an odd lad. But I’m more odd for even remembering.”  
Kyra just smiled amusingly at me before she then held on tightly to a familiar bouquet she had been hiding behind her back.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You really kept the bouquet you caught back at that wedding?”  
“Well, it would be rude to the bride and groom if I just left it, wouldn’t you think signore? Not to mention, **I prefer unique flowers like these purple and white Calla Lilies**.”  
“Do you know the meaning of those flowers then, your highness?”  
When Kyra nodded, our voices then overlapped together as we both said at the same time,  
“ **Magnificent beauty**.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I stared at her _brilliant blue eyes_ for a few more seconds before I took her right hand and asked,  
“Do you want to recreate a scene with me again, _mia amore_?”  
She didn’t even ponder and instantly said,  
“As long as you and I are part of the scene, you don’t have to ask for such an obvious answer, signore _Casanova_.”

We then walked to the very front of the flowing fountain and faced each other that it made Kyra ask me,  
“Jin? Don’t tell me we’re going to throw pennies again to the fountain?”  
“No. Non questa volta. Not this time, Kyra. We already threw pennies to another fountain today. And... I have a different thing in mind.”  
“Enlighten me then, per favore. Which scene is it from this time? It’s definitely not from _Roman Holiday_? Or even _Romeo and Juliet_?”  
Grabbing the long, white handkerchief in my pocket, I unraveled it and then placed it on top of Kyra’s head before cupping both of her hands that were holding the bouquet with mine.  
“S-Signore... d-don’t tell me...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sorry if I don’t have any other useful props to use as a veil, but **you still look like the most beautiful bride I’ve laid eyes on** , signora.”  
Kyra’s whole face then turned rosy red just like the roses in the garden at where the scene was going as I took her right hand and brought it closer to my face.  
“And I’m sorry for my little white lie too, this scene isn’t something from any film or play I’ve seen but I wanted... **I wanted a scene where it’s just about us. A scene for just our story**.”  
“J-Jin...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I know there’s not a more precious ring to you than the one you’re wearing now on your finger, so I’ll just make a vow to this ring instead. **A vow that I’ll protect the person owning this ring and her happiness no matter what and who comes our way. A vow to love this owner through all the ups and downs that will happen. A vow that not even timing and this universe can take away from me**. Ever.”  
Tears then flowed down straight to the flowers, and those tears belonged to Kyra. Her _blue eyes_ that were trembling along with her right hand as I kissed the gleaming ring on her finger.  
“I also place that vow on the same necklace you’re wearing too, your highness. **Whether you’re Princess Kyrea Rylene of Monaco or simply my signora Kyra, I will never forget and will always cherish the fact that you made a cynic like me know what genuine love is**. Thank you for coming to my life, _mia amore_.”  
“S-Signore Jin...”  
As Kyra then closed her eyes and let the rest of her tears pour down, it was my signal to finally seal the vow I had said to her. Reaching to touch the back of her neck, our lips then found each other’s on cue. _And with that, my vow to her underneath the summer sky was sealed_.

I just didn’t realize that Kyra’s tears weren’t tears of happiness during that moment. _Her tears that hid the real meaning of the truth I had no idea of for now_.

**  
 _A few hours later:  
Monaco Harbor_

 _BGM: Night Reminiscin’ (LUNA, Yang Dail)_  
“W-Wow... Che strano... signora, you look a lot like Monaco’s **missing princess**?”  
“I get that a lot, Zio.”  
“But of course you can’t be her, how silly of me... why would in heavens even be the princess here too, right?”  
Kyra just smiled kindly to the old man by the Monaco Harbor as she asked permission from him to rent one of the sailing boats.

But I couldn’t believe my eyes what I then saw with my very eyes.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...?! I thought you said that we were just going for a simple sailing?”  
“Signore... just you should know, this is already the simplest one I can rent. Now, come on.”  
The simplest boat really?! Having no choice at the matter, I just followed Kyra’s lead and climbed aboard the not-so simple sailing boat that was undoubtedly a small yacht in my point of view.  
“The weather is really perfect today. Sail safely then, signora, signore!”  
As the kind looking old man waved us goodbye, Kyra then stood behind the boat’s steering wheel and started sailing away from the harbor.

As the land view was getting smaller and smaller, Kyra just continued to steer the boat even further away from the harbor that the only view we could see were nothing but the _red orange sunset colored sky and the crystal clear seawater_ accompanying us.  
“You’re an expert even in sailing, your highness?”  
Standing right beside Kyra, she chuckled and said as we let the very pleasant summer breeze join in convoy with us,  
“Sì. I insisted to be taught to sail before I entered university signore. I didn’t want to lose to my brothers when it came to learning something.”  
“Ever the competitive princess you are, _mia amore_. Don’t tell me this was the something that you’ve been trying to keep secret from me then?”  
And right on cue, Kyra’s smile then turned grim as she pulled back the steering wheel and the boat immediately came to a stop right in the middle of the sea. Ever since what happened at the rose garden, I’ve been getting this peculiar gut feeling that whatever Kyra was trying to hold back from telling me... had something to do with the wedding we saw... but really, I had no idea what to think.  
“...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra... what’s wrong, signora? And don’t tell me there isn’t because I know those **blue eyes** of yours won’t give me such a sullen look if everything’s peachy.”  
Silently, Kyra then gently grabbed my right hand and made us both walk towards the front of the boat before she said,  
“Jin, I think there’s something important you should know...”  
 _It was another first_. The very first time I’d get to hear such a serious tone taking over Kyra’s voice. The two of us then sat down on the boat’s deck as I just focused my gaze solely at her and her hair slightly dancing along to the breeze before she told me,  
“Signore... I want to be really honest with you right now. And I feel like I can’t be wholeheartedly fair with you if I don’t tell you the one single thing I’ve been withholding from you.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Signora... what do you mean?”  
With a long sigh, Kyra’s eyes were close to watering as her _blue ones_ gaped at the sunset sky above us.  
“Jin... remember when I told you back at the _Cathédrale_ that there’s **no priceless blessing than to be able to tie the knot with someone you truly cherish in this life where not all of us are privileged to have**?”  
“Of course I remember Kyra, but why...?”  
As she closed her eyes with tears now dripping down her cheeks, Kyra confessed,  
“ **It wasn’t a coincidence** you found me there at the fountain back then in _Verona_ , my signore Jin.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“W-What?”  
With my eyes turning wide at the very unforeseen words, Kyra’s _tearful blue eyes_ then met mine as she continued on.  
“When I ran away from my bodyguards back then, I didn’t run away because they had found me but... I ran away because that same day, I was supposed to go back to _Monaco_ already. And I didn’t want to.”  
“But weren’t you supposed to attend some banquet in behalf of the royal family, that’s why you came to visit Verona right?”  
“Sì. But the banquet already happened the day before we met at that fountain. The journalists from the newspaper were given wrong info about my real schedule in Verona.”  
As Kyra explained to me, I understood everything she said. Except for one thing.  
“Then... what do you mean you didn’t want to come back to Monaco that day we met then, your highness?”  
She on cue placed her warm, right hand on my cheek and didn’t hesitate to tell me next,  
“That’s because the moment I was to come back to Monaco, **my father was planning to have me marry someone from a royal family in another principality**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“C-Cosa...?”  
 ** _It finally dawned on me like an epiphany_**. Everything finally clicked. What triggered her to wish for her freedom that day at the fountain. Why she had told me time and time again that she’d trade her title for her freedom as well. Why she’d reacted with such a somber expression when we saw the wedding at the _Cathédrale_. And why she’d told me that getting married to someone you love is a blessing not all of us can enjoy the privilege of.  
“M-Mi dispiace... I’m... I’m sorry for not telling you from the beginning, my signore...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Why are you apologizing for something that’s not even your fault, signora?”  
“That’s because I haven’t been completely honest with you, Jin... after you told me about the secret you’ve been withholding from me ever since in _Milan_ , I tried... I tried to tell you too about my own secret but I couldn’t find the perfect timing to do so...”  
As Kyra’s tears took over her again, I moved closer to her and embraced her without hesitation.  
“Sssh... we all have our own secrets, your highness. Don’t beat yourself up for not telling me please...”  
“I... I don’t know when this long extraordinary dream is going to end signore... b-but... I’m scared... **I’m scared that this happiness with you is going to end**... and I want to be selfish. I don’t ever want this dream to end, Jin.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
She then cups me gently on my cheeks and told me with a brooding smile,  
“ _Nonno and nonna_ didn’t forget to always tell me too that **I should marry someone not because of my duty, but of my own free will**... I couldn’t say this to you back at the rose garden, so I’ll say it now. **I love you out of my own free will, Signore Seokjin Kim. Not as a princess, but just as a human. And as a woman**. G-Grazie... **t-thank you for letting me see the life of a free person**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your highness,”  
“I... I really believe that the reason why you’re the only one who didn’t get affected by my wish on that fountain... was because **you were my freedom itself, Jin. My wish led me to you**.”  
Kyra’s words made me tremble as she leaned in closer and kissed me straight on the lips. Her kiss filled with her most earnest feelings.  
“Even... even if the ending to this long, _Roman Holiday_ **story of ours doesn’t end with you and I at a church’s altar, I... I don’t regret any of it, signore**.”  
“How could I even regret every single day I spent with you ever since that summer? È impossibile... I don’t regret meeting you as well, _mia amore_. **My vow on the aquamarine ring and necklace** you’re wearing adheres to that.”  
We leaned onto each other’s foreheads before we exchanged more tight embraces and tender kisses. _And with that, nothing else mattered to me than Kyra’s feelings mutually aligning with mine_.

 _BGM: In a dream (Hello Ga Young, MIND U)_  
As the sunset sky turned to nightfall, Kyra and I were still sitting together by the boat’s deck while exchanging and reminiscing more stories from our past. Our past before we barely even met. _Her smiles and laughs looked more real now right after she opened her heart fully to me_.  
“It was _nonno_ who discovered my love for painting, signore. I was around four years old when he found me finger painting secretly at his study quarters. There were tiny paint tubes and a small blank canvas that my four year old self had found by accident... and in the end, she couldn’t help herself.”  
“What did the adorable little signora then paint on that canvas?”  
“A **rainbow**. I still don’t know why a rainbow of all things... but maybe because it had a lot of colors? I can’t stop laughing just by reminiscing about it...”  
Then I knew at that point as Kyra continued to share more about herself I didn’t know about, I need to do the same thing. There was no perfect time to tell her. _**The most important secret I wanted to say**_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra...?”  
As my voice’s tone then switched, Kyra on cue then looked me in my brown eyes with a concerned expression.  
“Jin... is something wrong?”  
“I too want to tell you something important. There wasn’t only one thing I’ve been holding back to tell you. **Actually... there were two**. But this one is more crazier.”  
Her _blue eyes_ then blinked and turned wide in between either out of curiosity and disbelief.  
“Davvero? More crazier than how a fountain granted a wish like mine?”  
“They’re actually on the same page, your highness.”  
“I see...”  
Taking a deep breath, I squeezed both of her hands holding mine and concentrated my gaze on hers alone before saying,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Signora, **would you believe me if I told you I can see the future of someone I lock eyes with**?”  
“Yes.”  
“I know it’s crazy and I don’t expect you to believe m—-, wait... w-what?”  
Kyra just chuckled at my slightly overwhelmed reaction and replied,  
“Why wouldn’t I believe you, Jin?”  
“Because... nobody ever does? Like... don’t I sound like a complete lunatic if I say something like that?”  
She then playfully pinched my ears saying,  
“Hmm... **so you’re someone who can see the future and I’m someone who’s supposed to be a princess but because of a wish from a fountain, nobody knows that I am one except for you... we’re both lunatics** , I agree on that. And judging by how your ears are going red on me now, you’re not lying one bit.”  
“Kyra really... you’re such an odd woman.”  
“And you’re such **an odd man for falling for an odd woman like me.** ”  
I sneaked a quick peck on her lips on cue and said,  
“Sì, I agree on that.”  
“So... I’m curious... did you see my future then? Now I understand why you’re always looking into my blue eyes.”  
Caressing her cheeks and slightly swollen eyes because of all the crying she did just a while ago, I told her,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“No. **You’re actually the complete exception to that** , your highness. You’ve always been.”  
“W-Wow, really? I am? That makes me special then obviously? Giusto?”  
“Assolutamente. No matter how many times I lock eyes with these pair of blue eyes of yours, there’s just nothing. It can be both frustrating and relieving at the same time.”  
“Frustrating because you can’t read me so easily? And also relieving because you can’t read me so easily?”  
Sometimes I still wonder if Kyra is a psychic or is just a very good mind reader?  
“Now I guess I’m caught red handed on why I wanted to keep being by your side since we met.”  
“Jin... don’t tell me that’s the reason why you kept yourself at bay from a real relationship? Even... with mademoiselle Odette? Because you could see their future?”  
I had no choice but to nod.  
“Sì. You’re right, _mia amore_. **To me, there were only two types of people**... **the ones who were meant to stay in my life and the ones who only meant to pass by it**. But with you... I have no clue at all. That’s why... I really meant it when a lot of my firsts happened with you.”  
“J-Jin...”  
“Not being able to see your future is a blessing in disguise, Kyra. Because... I wouldn’t know what to do if I saw a future... your future without...”  
Kyra then wrapped her arms around my neck and said,  
“Don’t. The past had already gone, and the future is not guaranteed... we only have the present now, my signore. **And a present with you is what matters to me the most**.”  
She really took the words out of my own mouth. Accepting her hug, the corners of my eyes turned a bit watery with tears as if a huge burden was lifted off of my shoulders. Now, there were no longer any arduous secrets between us both. And that already was a miracle itself.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Spoken like the real princess I respect and love...”  
As Kyra loosened her embrace around me, I crashed my lips on hers again. But I made it a little bit longer and made our tongues greet each other’s, she then had to catch a few quick breaths in between.  
“M-Mmm... a-aah... J-Jin...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Even if it were only the moonlight and the small light from the boat that were illuminating us in the middle of the tranquil sea, my heart raced at the sight of Kyra’s blushing face and _shy blue eyes_. _**The eyes that glistened more than the necklace and ring she wore and held dear**_.  
“F-Fuck... K-Kyra...”

As our kisses turned deeper and our breathings hoarser, I gently let Kyra’s head lie down on the deck before I drew away my lips away from hers and I just stared at her very _doe eyes_ with a flushed expression from on top of her. _The way she looks so directly at me feels like a whole dream.  
*thump* *thump*_  
“M-Merda... don’t give me such enticing looking blue eyes _mia amore_ or I won’t be able to hold back...”  
“W-Would you find it weird if I told you I don’t want you to stop, signore...?”  
The second Kyra strokes my cheek with her right hand that I could see the glint coming from the ring on her finger and also on the necklace around her neck, I then asked her,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Then... do you want me to make love to you right here, right now, your highness?”  
With dry tears, she nodded without doubt.  
“Sì. Per favore fa, my signore Jin...”  
Pecking the ring and necklace first, those words were the only cue I needed to proceed next.  
“I can’t ever disobey you, my signora Kyra.”

As soon as my lips then trailed her neckline, Kyra’s melodic sighs and groans then lingered my hearing while my hands were busy with unzipping her out of her dress and hers jerked firmly at the back of my hair.

 _The night grew on but it was only beginning for us_. It was going to be a long night but Kyra and I didn’t want it any other way.

_And with all of our secrets laid down on the table, we bared our honest feelings mutually  
without anything to repress us from doing so anymore._

_**Just her, I, the moonlight, and the calming sea.** _

A _dreamy summer_ that I will never be able to forget in this life... _which sadly would be the last one_.

***  
 _Winter of 1979:  
Palais de Prince  
Principality of Monaco_

 _BGM: You and Me (Ahn Hyeon Jeong)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra, are you sure about this?”  
“Positive, signore. Here, take my hand.”  
The months passed by and we were still here in Monaco. Winter here is so picturesque, Kyra’s home country looked like something you’d see out of an actual snow globe. _Beautiful was an understatement_. And then one winter day, we both found ourselves at the very place where she had grown up as a princess itself. **_It was no other than the very palace of the royal family here in Monaco_**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ _M-Mia amore_... I know we both love exploring and adventures and all... but this right here really takes the cake... s-sneaking into a royal palace really? N-Not to mention... what if we get caught?”  
Kyra just laughed softly as she held tightly my hand while glancing at my slightly worried expression as we then separated ourselves from the crowd that entered the palace’s gates.  
“Trust me signore, I know all the hidden doors and staircases in this very place, not even the palace staff know about it... how did you think my _nonno_ sneaked me out of the palace back when I was little?”  
I could only sigh at her very convincing smile and said,  
“Whatever you say then. Lead the way, your highness.”  
As we stealthily avoided anybody noticing us, from guards, to palace staff, to even the maids, Kyra really wasn’t joking around. _She knew the place by the palm of her hand and I was reminded again how she indeed was a princess of this palace_.

“Every winter, the palace opens up the royal family’s home to the public. It’s been a tradition even before my _nonno_ became the sovereign. Also... it’s a double celebration too in honor of the _crown prince’s_ birthday during the same season, the crown prince being my eldest brother.”  
As we entered and exited through one door after another and went up and down through one hidden staircase to another, Kyra walked me through a bit of her own point of view as a princess.  
“I see... but you haven’t told me the reason yet why we had to sneak in the palace today of all days? And don’t say it’s because today is also the day where the public gets a glimpse of the royal family’s home?”  
“Hmm... let’s just say we have **a birthday ball** to attend to later tonight.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Was I hearing things or did Kyra just say?  
“S-Signora... d-don’t tell me you...”  
“It’s a masquerade ball, signore Jin. But if you don’t want to come, you can tell me. We can find something else to do today.”  
During these past months, Kyra has been showing me more of _her side as the Princess of Monaco but without the entitlement and duty she’s bound to since birth surrounding her_. Even if she was just the simple yet extraordinary Kyra to me, it still doesn’t erase the fact she was someone from a different world. _**A whole different life**_. I don’t know how much longer we had in this almost very long dream, that’s why I cherished every single day I had left by her side.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“What am I going to wear though? And... aren’t royal balls supposed to be invitation only?”  
Stroking my cheek, Kyra just replied smiling in relief,  
“I have my ways, signore. And it’s a masquerade ball, all the more mystery and thrill of it. Indirectly, you’ll be able to see who my family are and what kind of family I have. I... I may not be able to see your family back in Korea, but after what you shared to me about them with all the stories and your own fond memories, that’s more than enough for me.”  
“Y-Your highness...”  
I could only blink in surprise when she then pecked me swiftly on the lips and told me,  
“Ssh. Don’t call me _your highness_ while we’re here at the palace. You’re going to expose our secret rendezvous easily. D'accordo?”  
“Sì, _mia amore_.”  
When we reached another far end building at the palace, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking the minute I stared at the huge framed photo right by the white staircase.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra... t-this portrait...”  
It was no other than a very big portrait of Kyra herself, no—it was **_a portrait of Princess Kyrea_** in an _off shoulder, in classic gold and white colored, bell shaped, long ball gown_. The _whole gown was egg white while the intricate golden embroideries_ added a very elegant touch to it. But overall, nothing really stood out the most than _her long, free flowing honey blonde hair, those crystal like baby blue eyes, and that eye catching smile_. _Not even the royal jewels she was wearing and the royal princess’ tiara can hold a candle to Kyra’s natural beauty_. _**Her beauty whether as a princess or as a woman I adore**_.  
“This portrait was taken a few months before I left for _Verona_. Quite ironic it’s been years already.”  
“N-No... you look absolutely majestic in the portrait, Kyra. And you still do even when you’re not in a gown and tiara.”  
Kyra then looked at me with a genial smile saying,  
“Grazie. Thank you for saying that, my signore Jin.”  
We then continued on towards our destination. Before I knew it, Kyra then whispered to me as we hid by a corner,  
“Signore, when I say go, we sprint towards that white door. Understand?”  
Is this how _Romeo and Juliet_ plus _Joe and Princess Anne_ may have felt when they were sneaking around together in secrecy?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Understood, signora.”  
As Kyra watched carefully the number of palace maids and guards that were passing by in front of the room we are supposed to run to, I also followed her line of sight in silence that as soon as the coast was clear, she then said in a hurry while pulling my hand,  
“O-Okay! Here we go, signore Jin!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Via!”  
Being quick on our feet while being silent altogether, Kyra then instantly opened the white door in front of us with a _gold key_ she had been holding already since we entered the palace a while ago.

And yes, the room was none other than Kyra’s private room in this huge palace.  
“P-Phew... w-we finally made it.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your highness...”  
Quickly locking the door from the inside, Kyra took a deep breath in and out before she told me with a gleeful smile,  
“Benvenuto signore Jin! This soundproof room is my very own private quarters here at the _Palais_. Now that I’ve locked the door, nobody can come in easily since **I’m the only one who has a key to this room after all**.”  
“W-What? Really? Not even your family and your maids can enter your room then even after you’ve been gone for years?”  
With a giggle, Kyra just nodded as she then plopped herself on the sofa on cue.  
“ **All royal family members are entitled to their own secrecy** , signore. And my room was my own safe little haven in this too big of a place that seemed more like a house instead of a home. The... the only spare key in this room happens to be with my _nonno_ but ever since he and nonna passed away, I kept the spare key to myself. Yet now,”  
“K-Kyra, w-what are you...”  
As she then sat up on the sofa, Kyra then signaled me to sit down next to her and so I did. Taking my right hand, she then placed a _gold key_ on my palm saying,  
“I’m passing the key down to you then, my signore Jin.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“B-But...”  
“Whether you keep it, hide it, or throw it away, that’s up to you Jin. But whatever happens, **there’s no other person I can leave this key with**. Per favore?”  
She really knows I can’t say no to her when she looks at me so seriously with those _blue eyes_ of hers. With a small sigh and smile, I nodded.  
“Se è quello che vuoi. If that’s what you want, your highness. I’ll hold onto it. For you.”  
“Grazie mille. You’re doing this troublesome princess a big favor.”  
Giving me a kiss on both sides of my cheek as appreciation, I also showed my appreciation for her heartfelt request by wrapping her around my embrace.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re more troublesome than _Princess Anne_ and _Juliet_ could ever be... but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”  
“Hmm... I’ll take that as compliment then. Not to mention, I don’t mind being hugged around your broad shoulders one bit.”  
I couldn’t help but scoff a chuckle at her reply as we just hugged each other for a few more minutes.

Kyra gave me a quick tour of her not-so small room that almost had everything. A private bedroom, a mini living room, and even has a study room by the other side of a secret door. A study room that was filled with nothing but painted canvases after another.  
“A-And I thought I had most of your canvases too...”  
“Don’t worry, the ones I’ve given to you were more precious than the ones in here.”  
Leading me by the hand, she then showed me the framed photos of her little girl self together with the _nonno_ and _nonna_ she loves. And of course, a photo of her with the _rest of her older brothers_ plus the reigning king and queen themselves. _Her father and mother_.  
“So this is a glimpse of the **life of Princess Kyrea** huh?”  
“A little. These photos aren’t enough in return for all the stories and photos you’ve shown me of your family. But... it’s the first time I’m showing these photos to someone important to me. **Someone really important aside from _nonno_ and _nonna_**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
Wiping a bit of the tears forming around her eyes, Kyra puts down the picture frames and says,  
“I know you heard what the maids and guards were talking about while we were making our way here, signore.”  
 _“It looks like his majesty and the queen are going to proceed with the ball even if it’s going to be the fourth year already since Princess Kyrea had disappeared without a trace.”_  
 _“I wonder why they still haven’t found a traceable lead on where the princess is too? If the late king and queen were alive, I doubt Princess Kyrea would even have any reason to run away.”_  
 _“The princess’ brothers are still hopeful that she’ll come back when she feels like doing so, but it’s kind of sad too that not even they could do anything about their father’s wishes of marrying off their only beloved sister to another family if ever she decides to come back.”_  
 _“Let’s just hope that wherever Princess Kyrea is, she’s happy and healthy. She deserves that at the least. It’s really hard being the only girl and princess of the royal family.”_  
Recalling those conversations we overheard, I then knew. Kyra was well respected and loved by those around her, that even no matter how many years passed by of her not getting recognized, everyone still wanted her to be safe and sound. Maybe except for her own parents. **_But we can’t easily judge a book by its cover, just like how Namjoon always used to tell me_**.  
“Kyra, _mia amore_ , I’m not from a royal family and all, but... I know your parents are worried about you. Before they’re the king and queen, they’re a father and mother to you and to your brothers. No parent would be not worried about their missing child. Royalty or not.”  
“Signore Jin...”  
“ **No family is perfect**. Not even mine. And not even the royal families existing are an exception to that.”  
Taking her hand, I stroked gently the gleaming ring on her finger as she gave me a reassured smile while using her other free hand to wipe away her dry tears.  
“I know. Thank you. I didn’t know I could still feel safe at this place after being away for so long but I guess **it’s an exception too since you’re with me**.”  
“Kyra,”  
“Okay... enough with the mushy conversation...! We only have a few hours until the ball starts.”  
Immediately trying to cheer herself up, Kyra then took me by the hand and led me to another connecting door right next to her bedroom. It was no other than a walk-in closet.  
“Y-You’re really serious about this masquerade ball huh?”  
“Certamente! This ball is the perfect setting to test out whether or not my wish from the fountain is still fully intact. And not to mention...”  
“Not to mention?”  
With a chuckle, Kyra then slid open one cabinet and said while glancing at me,  
“I’d get to see **my handsome signore in a suit and tie**.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“R-Really... why do you even have gentlemen suits in your closet if I so may ask signora?”  
“That’s a secret for another time, signore. Now! How about this one? I just hope it fits your very broad body structure too...”  
No matter how nonsensical the situation was, as long as I could see Kyra smiling so candidly and even as she was busily choosing which suit suited me the best, **_I was willing to go through anything together with her or for her. No matter what_**.

 _A little bit later:_  
“Your highness? It looks like the guests are arriving and the ball is about to start, are you r—-...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
After I glanced at the window and saw silhouettes already entering another building from the palace, a little bit near where Kyra’s room was, I could only freeze on my last syllable and my heartbeat erupted the moment Kyra steps out of her closet.  
“S-So, what do you think signore?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
Kyra was dressed in _a long, white, chiffon appliqué puff sleeved, lace gown_. The _white lace embroideries were filled with very sophisticated small diamonds, pearls, and flowers_. Adding to that, her whole look was topped off with a _white flower crown and long, dangling diamond, drop earrings_. She was enchanting from head to toe. **_A literal angel from the heavens that no bride in a white gown could overshadow her_**.  
“S-Signore Jin?”  
“...”  
“J-Jin...!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
It took a few more attempts of Kyra calling out to me to snap me out of my gaping daze solely meant for her.  
“A-Ah... S-Scusi... you... you look absolutely divine Kyra... I... I’m a bit lost for words... no... correction, I’m really lost for words right now signora.”  
“Do I look like **a bride** then in your eyes, my signore?”  
As I took a few steps closer to her, I couldn’t help myself from touching her rosy cheeks as she looked so beguilingly at me with those _blue eyes_ and told her,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ **The most beautiful bride indeed**. Senza dubbio. Good thing this ravishing face will be concealed behind a mask or else all eyes will be on you for the night. And our cover being blown too.”  
Cupping my hands that were on her warm cheeks, Kyra just replied with a small grin,  
“ **Every beautiful bride needs a handsome groom**. I should be the one saying that, Jin. Your way too handsome face is going to make all the ladies in the ballroom swoon over you. And... **I don’t like sharing what’s mine.** ”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Hmmm... now you’re making me want to skip this whole masquerade ball and just spend a very long night inside this room. Just the two of us.”  
As I then let our lips meet for a quite long moment, Kyra giggled while trying to catch her breath from the sudden kiss and said while playfully pinching my ears,  
“As much as that sounds tempting signore, especially with your now adorable ears going red, a masquerade ball only happens once in a blue moon. A masquerade ball where I could be with you without all the formalities at the very country I was born in.”  
She really knew how to convince me.  
“Fine. I’ll escort you properly for tonight, your highness.”  
“You’re really the **best and most handsome escort and lover, a princess and woman, could ever have**.”  
The two of us exchanged another long kiss before we went on our way towards the ball.

 _BGM: Star Blossom (DOYOUNG, SEJEONG)_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Wow...”  
“Looks like my brother has done it again.”  
As soon as we entered the ballroom through a secret door, we were then greeted with a very buoyant crowd of masquerade ball guests. _All the ladies were in long gowns and masks while the gentlemen were in formal suits and masks as well_. Nobody knew who anyone one was except for the very people hosting the royal party itself, standing together at the very top of the two way staircase by the end of the big ballroom. _The very people in one of the framed photos Kyra had shown me in her room were standing in front of me from a distance_.  
“ _M-Mia amore_... aren’t they...”  
“Sì. The three men standing together are my older brothers. And of course, the two who are with them are no other than...”  
“The king and queen themselves?”  
Kyra just nodded in silence before her eldest brother’s voice then echoed the whole ballroom saying,  
“Bonsoir à tous! Welcome all invited guests. I hope from the bottom of my heart and from all of us in the royal family that everyone here tonight enjoy this wonderful night ahead. Even if our beloved sister, Princess Kyrea, isn’t here with us, I as her brother, wish nothing but for her to be safe and healthy wherever she is right this time. And as I say every year on my birthday, my health and my family’s are the only wishes I could ask for. So in behalf of my family and I, s'il vous plaît, amusez-vous tous ce soir!”  
After the crown prince, her brother, finished with his birthday message, I glanced at Kyra’s reaction. I couldn’t read what emotions were hidden behind those _blue eyes_ of hers at that moment. _**Who would’ve thought that the very princess that should be right beside her family’s side now is just standing right beside me**_?  
 _“Even if our beloved sister, Princess Kyrea, isn’t here with us, I as her brother, wish nothing but for her to be safe and healthy wherever she is right this time.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Signora...”  
“My brother really knows the right words to say every single time... no wonder he’s the crown prince indeed.”  
As she returned my glance with a smile, _I knew that the smile she showed me just now was only a ruse to hide her slight trembling as I held her left hand_. Kyra then shook her head to snap out of her gloomy thoughts as soon as the whole ballroom fell to jovial cheers and went on with the night’s celebration before telling me,  
“Will you be my escort and first dance for the night, signore Jin?”  
Without hesitating, I replied,  
“It would be an honor, my signora.”  
Taking her hand, I then led us both to the middle of the ballroom where the guests were now dancing slowly in pairs to the music being played by the small ensemble.

“You’re such a smooth dancer, signore Jin...”  
“Well grazie, that’s music to my ears _mia amore_.”  
With Kyra’s natural smile coming back, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her even once. _**And even if she wasn’t recognized by anyone else in this very big room, it couldn’t be denied she’s caught the attention of every eyes that looked at her**_.  
“Hmm...”  
“What’s wrong signore?”  
Most especially the other men in the room who were hoping to get a chance to dance with her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Haaa... why do you have to be so radiant Kyra? People can’t recognize you as their princess but it doesn’t stop these men from gawking at you...”  
“I can say the same thing about you signore... didn’t you even notice the amount of ladies who are whispering and giggling while staring at you? **Your handsome face is really... illegale** even when you’re in a mask already.”  
The two of us just fell to blushing laughs at each other’s remarks. Stroking her cheeks, I then said while leaning my face closer to hers,  
“Well, let me change their minds then...”  
“J-Jin, w-wa—?”  
Pressing our lips together, it made the ladies and other men who were watching us turn silent and turn away on cue. Just like how I wanted. _I’m such a shrewd signore, but only for the woman in front of me_.  
“J-Jeez... w-what’s with the sudden surprise attack, signore...?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Look signora... the gawking men and nosy ladies are all gone. I’m such a smart and handsome signore, don’t you think?”  
Kyra just laughed at my question while playfully slapping me on my back before she leaned her head on my beating chest.  
“ **Smart, handsome, silly, and can see the future**... you are really one of a kind, my signore Jin...”  
The two of us danced and swayed along to the slow music until another idea then popped inside Kyra’s head as she then looked up at me with a grin asking,  
“Ho un’idea... want to sneak out to one of my favorite secret places here at the palace, signore?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sì. Let’s go, signora. As long as we can be alone, anywhere is fine...”  
With a giddy smile, Kyra held tightly of my hand as we then made a run for it. _**Another night rendezvous with her**_.

“I guess all gardens have their own secret garden mazes huh...”  
“Is that based on some movie or film you’ve seen then, signore?”  
Where Kyra led me was _a garden with a small fountain right in the very center that was surrounded like a maze_. It was a bit far from the palace which made it perfect to watch the night sky together.  
“No. It’s not based off of _Joe_ or even _Romeo’s_ point of view. It’s based on my own.”  
“That’s good to know, signore Jin. You know I threw pennies in this fountain too but unlike the one in _Verona_ and the _other parts in Italy_ we’ve been to, this doesn’t grant wishes. Yet... this place had been one of my safe havens also when I needed somewhere to clear my head that was away from the palace.”  
“I see now... thank you for taking me here then, Kyra.”  
As we were just watching the sky in our comfortable silence, we then couldn’t believe our eyes at what then started falling down from the night sky. _Little white droplets that could only mean one thing_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora... it’s...”  
“S-Sì... it’s really snowing signore...”  
Not to mention, **_a certain memory_** then lingered inside my head the second the first snow for the year came to visit us again.  
 _“Be mine as well, signore.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“It’s been four years already since that first snow...”  
“You always tell me that whenever the first snow comes too, Jin... how can I forget the best four years of my life? Grazie a te.”  
“Kyra...”  
Staring deeply into those _baby blue eyes_ that don’t show me anything about the woman who had been by my side for these _**short, but unforgettable years**_ so easily, I offered my right hand to her and asked,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Will you give this handsome man the honor of being **your only first and last dance** , _mia amore_ Kyra?”  
“Ovviamente. My first and last dance only belongs to you, my signore Jin.”  
Under the sight of the night sky and first snow, Kyra accepted my hand with a very satisfied smile as we then danced together again. But this time, it was just only us. _**No prying eyes and background noise around us, as if we were the only people existing**_. That sounded way cliche but, I didn’t mind it one single bit.

“Jin...?”  
“What is it, your highness?”  
As we were slow waltzing, Kyra looked at me with her slightly troubled expression.  
“It’s been four years... more than four years already since I decided to be selfish and just wished for my freedom... but after hearing what my brother had to say back there, I’m...”  
“Do you want to go back to being Princess Kyrea then I take?”  
She quickly replied,  
“No. I told you, right? I don’t want to end up regretting going back to a life where **my freedom is bound out of duty but never of my own free will**. Also...”  
“Also?”  
Tiptoeing on her heels, she gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek telling me with her _blue eyes_ and the necklace around her neck shining like the stars up above us.  
“There are **two things** I don’t ever want to regret. The one I had just said. And the other one is **not regretting even once I had met you, Jin**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
“That’s why... please... **please don’t ever say you regret meeting me**. Promesso, signore? Even if this dream comes to an end... okay?”  
 _“Even if this dream comes to an end...”_  
Her last words felt like a premonition of what was about to come for us. But, I couldn’t care less of what the universe or this shit called fate has in store for us. _The present was all that mattered to me_. _**The present with Kyra by my side**_.  
“Lo prometto. Meeting you will never become a regret of mine, my signora... **you’re the blessing that reached my shore and made time tick for me again when I was drowning all alone**.”  
“G-Grazie... thank you Jin...”

 _BGM: Don’t love me (Hyolyn)_  
“Hello? Is anyone there?”  
“...”  
“Kyrea? Is that you?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
Right after we heard a voice entering the scene, Kyra and I could only stare in pure disbelief at the very silhouette that had discovered our night rendezvous. _**It was the crown prince himself**_. Yes, it was _Kyra’s eldest brother_. It felt like time stood still and paused.  
“...”  
“Tu te trompes. You must have mistaken me for someone else, your highness.”  
With my heart’s loud beating being obvious that it almost sounded like it wanted to leap out of my chest in horror of where the situation led up to, her brother then approached us with wide eyes as his gaze didn’t falter away from Kyra. _Both siblings then looked at each other’s blue eyes behind the masks_ that I had to keep my lips sealed or else I might say something I may come to hate myself for. _**Was this really the end of the line for this story**_?  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“En effet. Indeed. You’re not Kyrea. Je suis désolé mademoiselle.”  
And by some _weird anticlimactic twist_ , the crown prince then shook his head and stepped back from where Kyra and I were standing as if he was cast under a spell. He also quickly apologized that I eyed Kyra skeptically if she had done anything. Her _blue eyes_ just told me to go with the flow for now.  
“Excuses acceptées, your highness.”  
“I don’t know what came over me... I really thought I may have found my missing sister after four long years upon seeing your silhouette the moment I stepped into **this place of the garden that she always loved** , but after seeing you face to face, you aren’t her. You couldn’t be Kyrea herself. There’s no way she’d come back so easily as well. Not after everything... I doubt she even remembers today of all days.”  
Her brother just scratched the back of his head in embarrassment while Kyra tried to hold back her tears as she gripped tightly onto my hand.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora...”  
“Y-Your highness, I may not be the princess you’re looking for, but... I know your sister wouldn’t forget about your birthday even if she’s not with you right now.”  
“Merci infiniment mademoiselle. I’m sorry again for disturbing you and the monsieur you’re with presently. Well, I’ll be excusing myself for now and head back.”  
Kyra then glanced at me with her _blue eyes_ now turning wet before she told her brother lastly with a wistful smile,  
“Non, ça va. Happy birthday again, your highness.”  
Before we both knew it, the crown prince politely excused himself and exited the scene. However, instead of relief, only eerie silence then took over between Kyra and I even after he left.

“It... it looks like my wish is still going strong...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
Without a doubt too, Kyra’s tears dropped to the slightly snowy ground as her whole face turned dismal in my view. I can’t even begin to understand how she’s even feeling right at this very instant. _Was her wish still intact or was it slowly slipping away_?  
“J-Jin... h-he knew... he knew I was Kyrea. My brother knew I was his sister, but... the second he stood in front of me, he didn’t. He couldn’t recognize me anymore. That’s when I knew too... **every wish is a blessing and a curse altogether**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Your highness, why are you crying then? Is it because your brother couldn’t recognize you? Or is it the other way around?”  
And for the first time, Kyra had only told me next,  
“I... I don’t know anymore, signore. I... w-why now...? I thought freedom was all I wanted... but after seeing the sincere look from my brother’s eyes and how he almost knew it was me... I... I’m starting to waver...”  
As she then wrapped her arms around me and started quivering _in between her soft, resounding sobs paired with the droplets of snow falling from the night sky_ , I could only embrace her more firmly while listening to her cries.

That’s when I knew too. _That’s when I knew again that she and I really came from different worlds that just got brought together by some weird, fantasy-like connection that **started because of a fountain and a penny which was meant for a short-lived storyline**. Never for a lifetime._

Also, like how Kyra had said to me before, _**every dream must come to an end**_.

It was just the _beginning to the end_ of our very long _Roman Holiday_ story. And even **_the greatest films of all time were never going to be made and end up in happily ever after_**.

***  
 _Summer of 1980:  
Piazza dei Signori  
Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: Sonatime (LOONA 1/3)_  
Ever since what happened at Monaco, _our once peaceful days have been replaced with turbulent months right after we came back to Verona during the spring_. The very city that started it all. Kyra’s brother almost recognizing her was only the beginning. _Her one wish then started fading, like how Cinderella’s had only until midnight_. _It was ironic that Cinderella wished to feel like a princess and when the clock struck 12, she was back to being a normal girl_. **_With Kyra, it was exactly the opposite. When the wish fades away, she’s not a normal woman anymore. She goes back to being a princess_**.

Little by little, people started recognizing who Kyra was after four years since she made that wish at the fountain. However, they’d then ignore it and forget about it. We both then decided to avoid crowded places and landmarks for Kyra’s own safety in the meantime. _Nevertheless, the day she and I didn’t think would happen so soon, finally came knocking_.  
“What are you painting this time around, signora?”  
“You’ll know once I’m done with it, signore. This is the longest one I took to finish as well. I’ll give it to you of course, non preoccuparti.”  
We were just having our usual afternoon at one of _Verona’s_ quiet plazas and cafe’s when out of the blue,  
“That signora over there... doesn’t she look like **the missing princess** over the years?”  
“Now that you mention it...”  
Two local people from the city who were sitting a few tables away from us started whispering, but their whispering were so loud that we could hear them talking already.  
“ _Mia amore_ ,”  
“Lo so. I know signore. I think we should go.”  
“Let’s go then.”  
After paying for our drinks, we tried to act normally and exited the cafe before things could get out of hand. Despite how careful we were trying to be, it was still no use the minute we started walking along the plaza, we then heard yells coming from behind us that went,  
“There she is!”  
“È davvero la principessa! It’s the princess herself!”  
Our normal walking then turned to a brisk run as I took Kyra’s right hand as we sprinted through _Verona’s many narrow alleys_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Signora...! Take my hand, quick!”  
“O-Okay...!”  
It really felt surreal now. It really felt like we were _Romeo and Juliet_ being chased down by our clashing families, but in our situation, we were being chased down by meddlesome journalists and media pricks who were quick enough to tell who Kyra was nowadays.

“W-Where did she go?”  
“Forse laggiù! Let’s head over there!”  
I then led Kyra to a hidden alleyway that we managed, more like barely, to trick those pesky people who tried to chase after her.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“L-Looks like the coast is clear for now, Ky—...”  
“...”  
Expecting a relieved expression from Kyra’s face, I felt a lump getting stuck in my throat seeing her perturbed reaction. Moreover lately, her smiles seemed so strained. And I can understand why. _Especially when her blue eyes start shaking in uneasiness like a roaring ocean_.  
“S-Signora, why the long face? You’re making me worried right now...”  
“It’s really happening huh... it’s really ending...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
“J-Jin... **m-my wish is reaching its end**... w-what’s going to happen to us?”  
Holding her shuddering hands, I tried to tell her reassurance,  
“Nothing. Even if your wish is coming to an end, nothing is going to happen to us, your highness. Didn’t I promise you through the ring your _nonno_ and _nonna_ gave you and the necklace I gave you that **I’m going to protect you**? **Whatever happens**.”  
“F-For how long? **For how long are you going to keep protecting me with no guarantee of us being together especially with where everything’s leading now, Jin**?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra,”  
“I... **I don’t ever want to be the reason to hold you down, Jin**... y-you’re way too important to me that I don’t want to involve you by any necessary means in my own problems. Problems that were put to a stop only for four years since then.”  
It tore the shit out of me when Kyra’s tears dropped down her beautiful face. _To think she’d even say that she was the one holding me down when I’m the one who’s clearly holding her down_. I wanted to be selfish for once. _**To be selfish and hold onto Kyra no matter how grueling and thorny our story was going to take us at this moment**_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Then **run away with me** , signora.”  
“S-Signore...”  
“Let’s run away to a far place where you’re not _Princess Kyrea Raylene_ but just Kyra. **A place where you’ll be free without even throwing another penny to a fountain**. Come with me to Korea. You told me you’ve always wanted to meet my family, right?”  
 _ **It was madness**_. Every word I uttered out of my own mouth felt like complete lunacy. But... I didn’t give a damn. _As long as I was able to protect Kyra and her smile, I didn’t care what the universe and fate had to do about it_.  
“S-Sì. Yes.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kyra... d-did you say...”  
“ **Let’s run away** , signore Jin. I... I don’t ever want our _Roman Holiday_ to end. Non importa cosa. I... I don’t want our ending to end up like _Joe Bradley and Princess Anne’_ s, and _Romeo and Juliet’s_ especially...”  
Kissing her forehead, we then hugged each other with our heavily pounding hearts echoing in our hearings. Caressing the back of her _honey blonde hair_ , I asked her lastly,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your highness... are you sure about doing this? Didn’t... didn’t you tell me back in Monaco that you’re not sure if freedom is still the most important thing to you?”  
As she clasped tightly onto the back of my shirt, Kyra replied with the rest of her tears cascading down to the ground,  
“ **T-That’s because freedom isn’t the most important to me anymore**... **it’s you who’s the most important one to me, signore**.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
“ **W-What’s the use of my freedom if it’s not with you, Jin**? **T-There’s no title I have in this lifetime that I wouldn’t give up to keep being by your side**... **only yours**. I... I refuse to let go of you and your hand that holds onto me, signore.”  
Looks like even our selfishness mutually aligned with one another. Trying to hold back my own tears, I just told her,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-Then let’s meet back at the fountain where we met when evening comes, okay your highness?”  
“B-But signore...”  
“Take whatever is important to you, understand? Let’s go to the airport during the night so it won’t be hard for you to get recognized... understand?”  
Kyra nodded with a sheepish smile.  
“Sì. I understand perfectly, signore Jin. Let’s meet there after sunset.”  
To seal the agreement, _we sealed it with a long, but sentimental kiss_.

_**I just didn’t know that agreement would come back to hurt me in the worst way possible real soon at the very place where it all began.** _

**  
 _After sunset:  
Piazza delle Erbe  
Verona, Italy_

 _BGM: Gone (JIN of Lovelyz)_  
 _“Jin hyung, don’t be like me and end up making a choice that you’ll never be able to forgive yourself in the end.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
 _I stood there feeling numb from head to toe at the fountain of beginnings_. I was still waiting for Kyra to arrive, yet at the back of my mind and even the obvious fearful thumping of my chest still drifted on and on because of the one letter I had received back at my place. _**A letter from Namjoon himself**_. His letter read,

> _Hi Jin hyung,_
> 
> _By the time you might receive my reply letter, I might have already found Keira and my daughter somewhere in Northern France._
> 
> _Yes, hyung. I’m a father now. I’m a father to a beautiful four year old little girl named Kiana._
> 
> _And yes hyung. You were right all along. I had to stop finding Keira in the most obvious places that held a lot of our memories together. I can’t thank you enough for your letter. **Your letter became the real eye opener I needed to motivate myself to not give up in finding my mademoiselle**._
> 
> _How about you hyung?  
>  How are you doing these days?_
> 
> _You told me in your letter that you had a lot of important things to deal with lately._
> 
> _Is it alright if I assume that you’ve found someone to whom you devote your time now? If so, I’m happy for you if that’s the case hyung. Now I’m left to wonder what kind of woman had caught your always divided attention._
> 
> _You also always told me before what’s the point of investing your feelings for people who are going to leave your side in the end, right?_
> 
> _After what I had done to Keira and our daughter, I now understand the depth of your question hyung. If I were to find her again, there’s no guarantee that she will forgive me, let along, she will even want to see my face. But... **we can’t dwell too much on mistakes we made in the past because how are we going to fix the present so it can lead to a better future, wouldn’t you think**?_
> 
> _That’s why, Jin hyung, don’t be like me and end up making a choice that you’ll never be able to forgive yourself in the end._
> 
> _**Sometimes, doing the right thing isn’t exactly what we should do. Most especially if it’s about running away instead of facing the problem this shit called fate had thrown to us.** _
> 
> _Running away never solves anything hyung. **It doesn’t even stall for time because time never waits for no one**. Feelings get hurt. People get hurt. Relationships end up in hurt. Nevertheless, time continues on its own pace that before we know it, days, months, years, and even seasons had flown by already._
> 
> _If you found someone special in your life, your **the 1** through these years we haven’t seen each other, I’m throwing back the exact same words you had told me Jin hyung._
> 
> _**I hope you won’t let fate and timing rid you of what real happiness means, hyung**. You too, deserve that at the very least. You always do._
> 
> _Until the next letter again soon.  
>  — Namjoon_

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“Let’s run away together, your highness.”_  
“Running away never solves anything huh... you’re really something else, Namjoon-ah.”  
 _ **Our words do weigh a lot**_ , I realized that now. Looking at the _familiar golden penny_ I was holding in my right hand, I was reminded again. I’m reminded again of everything that had happened for the past four years I had spent with Kyra. _All because of a penny and a wish from a fountain_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
 _“That’s why... please... please don’t ever say you regret meeting me. Promesso, signore? Even if this dream comes to an end... okay?”_  
“W-What if this is really the end of this very long dream for you and I, signora...?”  
 _It dawned on me_. Even if Kyra and I were to run away to somewhere, even if in Korea, there’s no assurance whatsoever that she won’t be followed there and she’ll have her peace of mind. She was born from a whole different way of life, a whole different life from mine. _No matter how far we’ll go, or how far she’s willing to give up everything, Kyra will always be a princess_. **_A princess of a country in this real world and not in a stupid fairytale or dream. Even a damn wish can’t even change that one single fact_**.  
 _“I love you, my signore Jin.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I’m... I’m just an ordinary man from Korea that happens to see glimpses of someone else’s future... who’s in love with an extraordinary woman from Monaco that happens to be a real life princess.”  
With tears sliding down from my brown eyes to my cheeks, I gripped tightly onto the _golden penny_ in my hand for the last time before I didn’t hesitate to throw it towards the fountain and made a wish. **_The first and last selfless wish I’ll ever make in this life. For her. For her alone_**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“U-Universe... if there’s a future for Kyra to be happy even without me by her side, there’s... there’s nothing more I’ll ask for. P-Please...”

 _BGM: If We Were Destined (BEN)_  
“W-What... d-did you just say, J-Jin?”  
And right then and there, right after I made that wish to the fountain, there she was. There Kyra was standing a few centimeters away from where I was. But instead of a relieved face, _she had the most devastated look written all over her baby blue eyes and face_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
“D-Did you... did you really just mean the words you just wished right now s-signore?”  
We stood at a distance from each other while not averting our gazes away even once. Both Kyra and I had tears flooding all over our faces as well. Without second guessing, I said,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Yes. I... I meant every word I said just now, signora.”  
“W-Why... w-why would you say something so cruel s-signore? T-Tell me! D-Didn’t I tell you that my freedom means nothing to me if I don’t have you by my side...?”  
Her stuttering voice sounded so hurt. But... there was no turning back now. **_I’m going to protect Kyra no matter what_**. _Even... even if it meant to hurt both of us emotionally_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-This was a mistake... r-running away won’t get us anywhere, Kyra... t-that’s why, you... **you deserve a better future where you can be happy both as Princess Kyrea and as the free woman Kyra that I love**.”  
“P-Per favore... p-please... don’t say... don’t say that J-Jin... p-please... d-don’t let me go... I... I’m willing to give up everything, me being a princess and my title to be with you...!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“D-Don’t you see your highness?! T-That’s the least I want now for us...! Y- **You... giving up your whole life ahead for us... is something I would never want**. I... I don’t want to become the reason to hold you down to this uncertain future we have...!”  
“J-Jin...”  
As I then took a few steps closer to her, Kyra dropped the canvas and small bag she was holding that were filled with nothing but her paint brushes and paint palettes before she rushed to my side and started punching me painfully on my chest while sobbing heavily.  
“K-Kyra...”  
“W-Why... w-why are you saying this now signore? W-Why now...?”  
Every punch she landed on my chest hurt. _**But nothing hurts much more than all the tears that fell from those blue eyes**_. And I’m the reason why she’s tearing up. Taking her hand by the wrists, Kyra then looked up at me with a disheartened expression.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Because... I... I don’t ever want you to come to regret the decision of running away together... **a decision that arose because of us panicking for where this relationship is going to head**. I... I love you too much Kyra... t-that’s why... our... very long _Roman Holiday_ is close to ending. And,”  
“N-No... s-signore... J-Jin... p-please don’t...”  
 _“Please don’t ever say you regret meeting me, signore. Promise?”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ **If there’s a future of where you’ll be happy even without me Kyra, I don’t regret wishing for that**... that’s... the only wish I want for you, signora...”  
Brushing my fingers on the necklace around her neck, Kyra then pulled me by the hand and made our lips touch for the last time. _It was such a **genial but heartbreaking kiss** that was mixed with so much emotion and our salty tears_.  
“J-Jin... I... I love you.”  
“I too. I always will, my signora... my **the 1**.”  
And then, when our lips parted away from each other’s and the moment I looked deeply into Kyra’s _puffed up, baby blue eyes_ because of all the crying she did, **_the one thing I was never able to see for the past four years came. An epiphany. A glimpse. A flash of Kyra’s future._**  
 _“Dearly beloved, we are all gathered here today for a very momentous occasion. Let’s all stand up to formally witness the entrance of the most beautiful bride to behold our very eyes.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Under the _long white veil was no other than the woman with the honey blonde hair and pair of baby blue eyes_. _**It was Kyra herself in a wedding dress**_. She had the most sensational smile in that epiphany I just saw. And that’s more than enough of a sign for me. _A sign that whatever I’m doing now is the most selfless thing I can do for he_ r. I can’t be a selfish man. I just couldn’t.  
“D-Do... do you regret meeting me now then, s-signore Jin?”  
I’m so sorry Kyra. _No more roaring twenties throwing pennies at any fountains anymore_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yes. I do, your highness.”  
“I... I see... t-this is it then.”  
Kyra just showed me one last wry smile with her tears before she handed over a painted canvas to me and said lastly with her cracked voice,  
“Will you... will you keep this last painting for me as a last favor then my signore J—-?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra!”  
Yet, when she was about to finish her last syllable, _Kyra almost fell unconscious on her knees that I barely managed to catch her just in time around my arms_. She blacked out for a few seconds before she opened her eyes and snapped back to reality.  
“A-Are you okay, signora?”  
“S-Sì... I am. But...”  
“But?”  
As I released my grip around her, Kyra then gazed at me with a very unfamiliar look taking over her _blue eyes_ under the summer night sky.  
“C-Chi sei? M-May I ask who you are, signore?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Right under the very place we met four years ago, _our connection took place because of a penny thrown to a fountain with a simple wish_. And now, _the same connection reached the end because of a penny thrown to a fountain but this time, with a wish I’ll never be able to take back_. **_And a wish she will never be able to remember_**.

Now I truly understood the meaning behind the saying, “ ** _be careful what you wish for_** ” indeed.

I had to learn it in the _most bittersweet way_ possible.  
 _“J-Jin... I... I love you.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“I’m just someone passing by your life, your highness...”

_**To know the greatest loves of all time are over now.** _

***  
 _Spring of 1981:  
Trouville-sur-Mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: I Already Miss You (G.Na)_  
“E-Eh? I-Is that how the story really ends... Oncle Jin?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sadly, yes that’s how the story ends little Kiana... **not all the greatest loves can go on forever**.”  
I just smiled sheepishly to the little girl who was sitting in my lap as she looked at me sadly with those _big, round amber eyes_ of hers.  
“That’s sad... did Princess Kyra really forget about the man she loves? But what about the man...? Was it really okay with him for the princess to forget him?”  
How frightfully smart the little girl sitting on my lap was. She really is indeed a product of Namjoon himself and Mademoiselle Keira.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“It was his wish for her, little Kiana. For him maybe... **it was better for him to be the one hurting instead of having to bear seeing the princess sad**.”  
“But... **isn’t it unfair for the man to bear being sad all alone**?”  
My heart skipped nervously of her strangely wise words for a four year old who’s only about to turn five. Even my eyes couldn’t help but tremble a little.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Unfair huh...”

“Okay, that’s enough story time with your uncle, _ma chérie_. Heure de dormir.”  
“B-But maman...”  
“Your maman’s right, little mademoiselle. Your uncle Jin will still be here tomorrow.”  
“Beau monsieur...”  
As Kiana started pouting at what Keira and Namjoon had to say, I just chuckled at her reaction that _somehow reminded me of someone deeply ingrained inside the back of my own memories_. Patting her rosy cheeks gently, I said,  
“Your beau monsieur is right, little Kiana. I’ll still be here tomorrow, don’t you worry.”  
“Hourra! Then you’ll tell Kiana the rest of the story about **the man who can see the future and the missing princess** , promise?”  
 _“J-Just promise me per favore... p-please... Jin...”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“Okay... it’s a promise, Kiana.”  
With Kiana nodding happily, Keira then easily scooped her up in her arms saying before they went up the staircase and left the living room,  
“I’ll tuck in the little one for now, monsieurs. I’ll be right back.”

It’s been almost a year since what happened back in _Verona_. It’s been almost a year since I last saw the _princess with the blonde hair and baby blue eyes_ that I still see whenever I close my eyes.  
“Little Kiana is scary smart and she’s only turning five too...”  
“That’s exactly how I felt when she started talking to me last year, hyung.”  
 _Ever since I was wiped out of Kyra’s life like I was just a distant memory from her_ , I found myself traveling out of Italy more often right after that. Being in Italy left too many traces of her, no matter how little or big. And then, here I was in Northern France to visit Namjoon and Keira, and of course their precious little Kiana. After Namjoon reached out to me to come and visit, I found myself visiting them often. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know how I would’ve coped up being all alone. _I was once used to being alone, but after Kyra came to my life, there was still a void inside my heart that only she could fill. **Yet, the void can never be filled again**_.  
“Namjoon-ah, judging by how the little one still calls you monsieur, you and Keira-ssi haven’t told her yet?”  
“Keira and I are still waiting for the right time to tell her about who I really am, hyung...”  
“You do realize that she’s going to discover it sooner or later? Little Kiana is indeed your daughter Namjoon-ah, she’s always curious and smart like you are. Just because she’s still small doesn’t mean she won’t understand. **Kids are strangely wiser than us adults** , I just realized that with her.”  
Before we both knew it, Keira then entered the living room and sat down right next to Namjoon saying,  
“There’s no doubt Kiana will figure things out, but I don’t want to take away the closeness she feels with her beau monsieur, monsieur Jin. **Once the truth comes out, we can’t take that back**. I don’t want her to grow up feeling miserable. She deserves so much better than that.”  
“K-Keira...”  
As Namjoon and Keira looked warmly at each other while holding firmly onto one another’s hands, I could feel the buzzing in my chest come back. **_The kind of feeling I once felt as well with only one woman that seemed like a faraway dream already_**.  
“You two have changed so much over the years. And I mean that in a good way.”  
“Monsieur Jin...”  
“Jin hyung...”  
Even though my side of the story was over now, I was still glad that for Namjoon and Keira, they managed to pass through the long storm that _fate and the universe_ had for them and be together after being separated for quite some time.  
“Monsieur Jin, will you do me a favor?”  
“A favor? What kind of favor mademoiselle?”  
Keira just smiled at me before she stood up from the sofa and walked towards the kitchen to grab something from one of the counters.  
“This is for you, monsieur Jin.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Mademoiselle Keira... t-this is...”  
My hands couldn’t stop trembling at what Keira had to give me on cue. _**It was a wedding invitation**_. _But it wasn’t just your ordinary wedding invitation_.  
“Keira wanted you to have that, Jin hyung.”  
“Joon is right, monsieur. That’s the favor I wanted to ask of you as well.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“B-But...”  
“You didn’t think it was only Kiana who had been listening to you while you told her the story about **the man who could see the future and the missing princess**?”  
“Namjoon-ah...”  
The two of them exchanged gentle smiles before Keira then said,  
“She might have forgotten about you and your memories together as a result of what you had wished for monsieur, **but it doesn’t mean you have to martyr yourself for it the rest of your life**.”  
“M-Mademoiselle...”  
“Princess Kyra wouldn’t want you to be sad and miserable too for the rest of your life ahead after what you did for her. And for her own future.”  
“N-Namjoon-ah...”  
As I could feel tears forming around the corners of my eyes, I then opened the invitation. _**The invitation to Princess Kyra’s wedding**_.  
 _“Every beautiful bride needs a handsome groom. I should be the one saying that, Jin.”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-She’s finally going to be a bride huh...”  
And right on cue, a few teardrops landed straight on the very invitation itself.

“M-Mademoiselle, can I ask how you even got this? It’s an invitation too coming from the royal family themselves...?”  
As I wiped my tears, Keira then sat beside me while placing down a cup of _chamomile tea_ for me and comfortingly patted me on my back saying,  
“Let’s just say this isn’t a personal invitation to me but to my family. But... knowing my ghost of parents back in _Paris_ , they weren’t interested in attending in the first place so they sent it to me. How cunning of them.”  
“Then you should be the one attending this, mademoiselle Keira...”  
She chuckled at my reply and shook her head in disagreement.  
“ **I’m not the one who shares a deep connection with the bride, monsieur.** ”  
“Mademoiselle...”  
“Go on my behalf, monsieur Jin. **You at least deserve to see her for one more time**. Go and be honest with her. Whether or not she will believe you, at least... tell her how you really feel. She deserves that too.”  
Namjoon also stood up and placed his hand on my shoulder telling me,  
“Keira‘s right hyung. In this life, we always don’t get second chances like this. **But... if we do, what’s the more we could lose than we already did**? Go and see your **the 1** , Jin hyung. Just like how you had helped me find Keira, we’re returning the same help for you right now.”  
 _“Signore Jin...!”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
My lips just turned to a relieved smile before I let the rest of my tears come out and said to two of my most important friends,  
“T-Thank you... thank you really, Namjoon-ah, Mademoiselle Keira...”

**  
 _Later that same night:  
BGM: Love Letter (LOONA)_  
 _“I want you to keep this for me, Signore Jin.”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“I wonder if at least we’re looking at the same night scape right now, signora...”  
I was sitting by myself on the sand by the beachside near Keira’s home. The two of them were right, _this place is really comforting for some reason_.  
“Kyra would’ve adored a picturesque place like this too...”  
Staring wistfully at the _**gold key**_ I still held over the past year and the _**very first painting**_ she ever gave to me back in 1976. _A painting of the very fountain and plaza where everything began and even ended_.

I could still remember what happened the day right after that night at the fountain. _No matter how much I didn’t want to._

*  
 _Almost a year ago...  
Summer of 1980:_

It was past eight in the morning. I couldn’t sleep a wink last night after what happened with Kyra. Caffeine was the only thing keeping me on my toes as I finished my cup already while reading the newspaper, as if it were to bring normalcy back to my life. And then my eyes stopped on one of the main stories written in the paper.

> _La principessa scomparsa è tornata!_
> 
> _The once missing princess of Monaco is found. After four long years of being out of the public’s eyes completely, as if she had left the world without any trace anywhere, various sources have found her once again here in Verona, Italy._
> 
> _The very place where she was last seen four years ago._
> 
> _Everyone is wondering what the princess had been up to for the past four years, but all we have now coming from the royal highness’ side is that she was busy traveling here and there in places that couldn’t recognize her for the past four years._
> 
> _How she even managed to escape for quite some time is still a question that all of us are curious about._
> 
> _Yet as of now, Princess Kyrea Raylene of Monaco is scheduled to depart back to her home country within anytime today._
> 
> _It looks like the royal family of Monaco will finally be complete at long last after four long years._
> 
> _Questa è tutta la notizia per oggi._

Kyra still remembered her being a princess and what she was doing here at _Verona_ in the first place, but it was obvious that _the four years she had been missing had been replaced with blank memories_. **_Blank memories without us ever meeting, like a reset button_**. _And I was the one who pushed that damn button last night_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ **The missing princess** found at long last... right gold key?”  
As I was about to exit the cafe after paying for my morning coffee, my heart almost stopped beating the very minute my eyes found a familiar silhouette standing in front of the fountain. _It felt like a painful deja vu_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-It couldn’t be...”  
My footsteps then made a run for it. And there she was. There the woman with the _honey blonde hair and baby blue eyes_ was standing. Her gaze looked so nostalgically towards the flowing water from the fountain and the many pennies right on the bottom.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your highness...”  
Because of my emotions piling up with the flow of the moment, I unknowingly opened my mouth that her _blue eyed gaze_ then on cue met mine. **_The blue eyes that I will forever adore_**.  
“Oh... you’re the signore who helped me last night. Right?”  
I couldn’t find it in me to ever lie to those _blue eyes_ no matter how much I try. Not to mention, I found it very hard to not look away at Kyra wearing an _A-line, navy, v-neck, dress that absolutely fitted her along with those black, ballet flats with a ribbon strapped around her ankles_. Her hair was tied in an _updo, princess braid_. Even if she doesn’t remember a thing, Kyra still wore the _aquamarine necklace around her neck_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Sì. W-What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to go back to your home country today? Or were the papers stretching the truth again?”  
She just chuckled at my bombardment of one question after another. Nothing really beats a smile on her beautiful face, _as if the pain and tears from last night were nonexistent_.  
“You almost sound like the countless flood of journalists who ask me the same old questions.”  
“A-Ah, I’m sorry...”  
“No, it’s okay. I know you’re not like them at all. That’s why I had to come back here.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What did she mean?  
“W-What do you mean, your highness?”  
Kyra’s next words then made my eyes turn wide and my chest erupting in bewilderment.  
“ **I knew I’d be able to see you again if I come back to this place, signore**.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your highness...”  
“Before I head back to Monaco, I couldn’t leave without being able to thank the man who had helped me last night right here. And I’m glad I did come here to find you. That’s why, grazie mille. Thank you, signore. **Even though I don’t know your name, I wanted to thank you nonetheless**.”  
Kyra proved it to me again. Even if she had forgotten who I was and the whole four years we’ve been together, _she was still the same kindhearted and odd woman I will always love and respect_.  
“S-Signore?!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Sorry... I got a little emotional right now. I usually don’t cry easily like this too.”  
Kyra flinched the second my tears took over me because of her words. **_Her earnest words that were more than enough for me to accept the effect of what I had wished last night_**.  
“Signore? May I know your name then? It feels a bit unfair that you know who I am but I don’t know yours.”  
As she then offered her _white handkerchief_ to me, my heart felt the warm and fuzzy feelings engulf me as Kyra looked up at me. Taking the handkerchief, I simply told her,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ **I’m just an ordinary man who’s meant to pass by your life, your highness**.”  
“What an odd answer, signore.”  
The two of us just stared into each other’s eyes in silence before I told Kyra,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Your highness, did you know that the fountain we’re standing right this very second _can grant wishes if you throw a penny_ to it?”  
“Is that so? I guess that explains the number of pennies at the bottom of the fountain... did you happen to make a wish to this fountain then, signore?”  
“Sì... Yes I did. **A wish for someone important to me to be happy. No matter what**.”  
“I see... your important someone must be very blessed to have you, signore. I just know it.”  
 _My heart ached at her words like it was being squeezed in pain_. I had to stop myself from crying again. Trying my best to smile, I was about to say something when two men in suits then came entering the scene on cue and told Kyra,  
“Your highness. C'est l'heure de partir. It’s time to leave.”  
“Je comprends. I’ll be right there.”  
Kyra then glanced at me for one last time with a smile and said,  
“Well, looks like this is goodbye signore.”  
“I guess it is, your highness. Take care of yourself. Oh, your handkerchief...”  
When I was about to return her handkerchief, she just shook her head and told me lastly,  
“No. Keep it. I hope you take care as well, signore. Arrivederci. Goodbye then.”  
Giving me one last warm smile, Kyra then went on her way to follow her bodyguards.

 _Was it really okay with you_? The back of my mind had asked me as I watched Kyra’s silhouette slowly disappear from my sight. As I gripped onto the handkerchief in my hand, I then raised my voice loud enough to reach her saying,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your highness! W-Will you do me one last favor?”  
“S-Signore?”  
As I caught sight of one last time at her _baby blue eyes_ from a distance when she turned around, I let the rest of my tears cascade down my cheeks and yelled to her with a smile,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ **P-Promise me you’ll be happy as well, your highness**! J-Just be happy! O-Okay?”  
Wiping a bit of tears forming around her eyes as well, Kyra nodded and smiled back before yelling in reply while waving goodbye,  
“L-Lo prometto... **I... I promise** , signore! T-Thank you!”  
When Kyra boarded the luxury car and she completely disappeared from my sight, I just fell down on my knees and sobbed loudly that I didn’t give a damn if someone were to think I was a lunatic. I sobbed. _**I sobbed because this was more than enough**_.

 _“I... I promise, signore!”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... **I love you Kyra**... t-thank you too for teaching me what love and being free really meant all this time...”  
 ** _And underneath the same summer sky that connected me to her, we also separated_**. But even though it felt like my heart was ripped out, as long as Kyra was going to keep her promise to me, I didn’t regret making that one wish.

 _I was willing to put up with anything fate and the universe had to throw at me as long as the one person, **the 1 who made me happier beyond my wildest dreams remains happy**_ **.**

**  
 _Summer of 1981:  
Cathédrale de Monaco  
Principality of Monaco_

 _BGM: A song from the past (Solar, Kassy)_  
It was the fated day at last.

“I wonder if I really should give this to her...”  
As soon as I entered the _Cathédrale_ , I never would’ve thought that I’d be able to come back here.  
 _“J-Jin... t-thank you for saying that signore. I’ll be by your side even when you’ll grow tired of me...”  
*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
Holding firmly the wrapped up canvas I was carrying in my arms, I found an empty seat inside the church just in time for the ceremony to start.  
“I can’t wait to see our beloved princess finally getting married!”  
“Who would’ve thought that after a year she comes back, Princess Kyrea ties the knot with her childhood friend who’s also from a prominent family here in Monaco.”  
“I’m glad that during the time she came back, she managed to convince her father, his majesty himself, to get married to someone she actually cares about.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“I want to marry someone out of my own free will, and never out of my duty.”_  
As I was listening to the old ladies who were whispering from the seats in front of me, I hid a smile to myself at the recall of Kyra’s words inside my head. _Looks like you really made that dream into a reality, mia amore_. _**I guess being selfless for one woman alone really was worth it after al**_ l.

And I guess the _epiphany_ I saw when I looked into Kyra’s _baby blue eyes_ that night was _**a sign that led me to this very day itself**_.

“Dearly beloved, we are all gathered here today for a very momentous occasion. Let’s all stand up to formally witness the entrance of the most beautiful bride to behold our very eyes.”  
And right here, right now, the future I had seen through her eyes back in _summer of 1980_ was happening in front of my sight as the _Cathédrale’s_ doors then opened up to reveal the Kyra I had seen once before.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora...”  
As she entered through the door and started to walk down the aisle, _just like in the epiphany I had seen_ , my heart squeezed tightly and tears on cue slid down my eyes seeing _the same, wonderful smile written all over her face under the white veil_. **_Kyra was indeed the most beautiful bride I had ever laid eyes on in this lifetime_**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“T-Thank you for everything, my signore Jin.”_  
I thought seeing her in that white dress back when we were still together in our last memorable night here in Monaco was the most breathtaking I had seen of her, but right at this very moment in time, as I watched Kyra walk in her _champagne colored, high neck, and backless ball gown with the tulle sequins flooding all around the dress, paired with her bridal bouquet of purple and white calla lilies_ , it made my whole chest throb in wistful nostalgia.  
 _“I prefer unique flowers like these calla lilies than roses any day... don’t you think so too, signore?”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You really even chose those flowers even now huh... K-Kyra...”  
As if by some unseen force, Kyra’s _blue eyed gaze_ then found mine amongst the many unknown faces inside the whole church in perfect timing. **_She smiled widely with small tears shining on her eyes, shining more evidently than the aquamarine necklace she still had around her neck along with the crown on top of her veil, and gave me a small wave as if she had recognized me_**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kyra...”  
 _“You were my freedom itself, Jin. My wish led me to you.”_  
 _“I love you out of my own free will, Signore Seokjin Kim.”_  
 _“Thank you for letting me see the life of a free person.”_  
It felt like time had stood still in that very second. _It felt like at that very moment, Kyra and I were the only two people in this whole cathedral_. **_It felt like this was fate’s way of telling me, you’ve done your part in this one woman’s life._** Now it was time to let her go. With a slight head bow, I smiled back at her as she continued walking up to the altar.

“We all gather here today to bear witness to the joining of these people in holy matrimony. Que les cieux les bénissent dans ce nouveau voyage.”  
As Kyra and her groom faced each other for their vows, _**I watched the love of my life get married to someone else standing right in front of her, and that someone else wasn’t and would never be me**_. I don’t know how I should describe the exact feelings I had felt. But... it _a mix of all kinds of emotions I never thought a man like me would even feel_.  
“Princess Kyrea, I vow to love you without condition, to honor you each day and everyday...”  
 _“I also place that vow on the same necklace you’re wearing too, your highness. Whether you’re Princess Kyrea Rylene of Monaco or simply my signora Kyra, I will never forget and will always cherish the fact that you made a cynic like me know what genuine love is. Thank you for coming to my life, mia amore.”_  
With every vow that they exchanged with each other, another tear poured down and another pained heartbeat skipped within me. _Memories of that day at the garden when I also vowed to protect one woman’s smile and happiness above all else lingered like a haunting melody_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _So this is how it feels to watch someone you had learned to love with all of your heart end up with someone else huh fate_? **_And you were just meant to be a person to pass by her life for a short time, but never for a lifetime_**. _Like a song from the past_.  
 _“L-Lo prometto... I... I promise, signore! T-Thank you!”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-Thank you for keeping your promise then, _mia amore_.”

After they exchanged vows, he was about to lift up her veil. I was only human. Even though I could see the future, I was still human to feel pain and hurt. _And nothing would hurt me more than to see the last part of the wedding_. I then led myself out of the church and sobbed quietly to myself by the cathedral’s staircase.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“L-Looks like I won’t be able to give this to her after all, Namjoon-ah... Mademoiselle Keira... I... I’m sorry...”  
Taking out the painting inside the wrapping paper, I wiped off my tears and stared tenderly at the very painting I was now holding in my hands. **_The very last painting Kyra had left me before our long dream ended_**.  
 _“D-Do me one last favor, signore Jin... take care of this for me.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-It’s such a masterpiece Kyra... a whole masterpiece that **only I will remember**...”  
It was an oil painting of the very _Cathédrale_ I was sitting at. And standing right outside of the church was no other than _a woman with long, honey blonde hair and had the most mesmeric baby blue eyes in a wedding dress_. Standing right beside her was _a man with brown hair and smiling brown eyes in his coat and tie_. **_They both had the most joyous pair of smiles together_**. Below the painting were the simple words that read,

> _For my signore Jin,  
>  even if we weren’t destined in this life, I’ll wait for you in another life.  
> I’ll wish to find you.  
> Per sempre e sempre. Forever and always.  
> All of my love.  
> Your signora._

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ **But it would’ve been fun... if you would’ve been the one** , my Kyra.”  
It would’ve been the _sweetest ending if it could’ve been me to stand by her side_ , but real life doesn’t work out like that. The universe and fate proved it to me time and time again.

 _ **Yet, if my wishes came true, it will always be her. It would’ve been you, always, my signora Kyra**_.

***  
 _Summer of 1982:_  
 _Trouville-Sur-mer, Northern France_

 _BGM: the 1 (Taylor Swift)_  
 **It’s been a year**. And a lot of things can happen within the year.

Ever since the wedding, I decided to keep on traveling whilst also visiting oftentimes at Northern France where Namjoon, Keira, and Kiana were still living. Traveling alone felt like an escape for me, a coping mechanism so I wouldn’t dwell on the memories about that woman herself, _although my thoughts would every now and then, be reminded of he_ r.

Time continued on like normal. Sometimes, I’d get lost in my memories and _think I saw her silhouette like in a bus stop or train stop, but I didn’t_. And sometimes I have _dreams of her having adventures on her own_. And _as if I’d see her face in every crowd_ I’d pass by. But every day, it was _just another day of waking up alone_. 

I still see other people’s futures, that one thing hadn’t changed even now. Yet now... I didn’t care about whether someone is going to be a part of my life, for short term or long term, _I’ve been saying “yes” instead of “no” lately_. I wasn’t completely fine, but I could tell myself, _I’m doing good_.

I didn’t judge people anymore based on the glimpses of future I get to see from them. I know Kyra would’ve wanted that as well. And she would’ve wanted me to use this ability of mine for the better.  
 _“Why wouldn’t I believe you, my signore Jin?”_

That’s why I found myself here in Northern France right now. Today was the day where Kiana finally realizes that Namjoon is her father. _I knew this was going to happen real soon_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“These three are really something else, Kyra... but **we were something too, don’t you think so signora**? More than them really...”  
While I was talking to myself and the summer breeze, I could only blink in surprise the second I saw a familiar silhouette with _amber eyes_ filled with tears that then came out through the front door of Keira’s home and ran towards the beach side near their house.  
“Looks like I arrived in time then.”  
I then knew where I was going to head next.

“Kiana, why the tears and long face dearest?”  
“O-Oncle Jin...”  
As I placed my hand on top of her head and gently ruffled her hair while offering the _familiar white hankie_ I had been keeping for a few years already, her _big, amber eyes_ brimming with tears then looked up at me saying,  
“B-Beau monsieur... b-beau monsieur is my...”  
“Is your father?”  
Her eyes then started shaking as she said,  
“Y-You knew?”  
“Yes. Yes I do, dear Kiana. Are you mad then? Are you mad at me?”  
“N-No... how can I be mad at you, Oncle Jin?”  
But I’m pretty sure the tears evident on her face were because of Namjoon and Keira. With a smile, I then asked her,  
“Then are you mad at your maman and your beau monsieur?”  
“O-Oncle Jin... I... I honestly don’t know. I just told beau monsieur that I... I was willing to keep him in my life not as my father... but as a man who loves maman very much only.”  
What wise and deep seated words coming from a young girl.  
“Kiana... you know, mademoiselle Keira and Namjoon-ah are really right about you being different than most kids your age. And I mean that in a positive way, little one. Didn’t you feel suspicious at all on why you have the same dimples like him? The same way you two love books and knowledge? Even the way you two construct your words are so identical... and not to mention, your love for crabs really comes from him too.”  
“A-A little... for some reason, he knew me too well even during the first few months he came back to maman’s life. I... I grew fond of him as my beau monsieur... my beau monsieur that turned out to be the father that left maman and I all these years... B-But... i-it still hurts, Oncle Jin... w-were they planning to keep me away from the truth for god knows how long?”  
Somehow, for some inane reason, Kiana’s words were reminiscent of something I’ve heard before. **_Words from a special woman_**.  
 _“W-What’s the use of my freedom if it’s not with you, Jin? T-There’s no title I have in this lifetime that I wouldn’t give up to keep being by your side... only yours. I... I refuse to let go of you and your hand that holds onto me, signore.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Then do you regret it? Do you regret meeting your beau monsieur? Do you regret meeting your father named Namjoon?”  
“O-Oncle Jin...”  
Turning her gaze towards the sea’s waves, Kiana then said,  
“I... I wouldn’t be hurting if I regretted having beau monsieur in my life and in maman’s life, Oncle Jin.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Glancing at Kiana’s side profile, _I saw a reflection of myself in her_. **_If we didn’t care about someone coming into our life, then we wouldn’t feel any kind of pain or sadness or hurt_**. _Even if I was only meant to be someone who’d pass by in her life, the pain I felt after everything that happened was a testament that everything I felt for her was real_. _**And was never a dream**_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kiana... do you want to know the reason why **the man who could see the futur** e was okay to bear all the sadness about his and the **missing princess’** memories alone?”  
“Why then, Oncle Jin?”  
As Kiana nodded, my lips turned to a wistful smile and told her as my gaze also focused on the rush of the sea’s waves,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“That’s because he learned to be selfless for her. And her alone. **Her happiness meant to him more than anything else, even if she’ll find that happiness without him by her side**. That’s how real life works when you found someone whom you truly care about more than anything else, Kiana. **Sometimes... the 1 person whom you only meet through a once-in-a-lifetime chance was only meant to be a chance encounter for the short run, but never for the long run**.”  
“How about you then, Oncle Jin? Do you regret meeting **the missing princess**?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
 _“D-Do you regret meeting me now then, s-signore Jin?”_  
As Kiana stared at me curiously with her _amber eyes_ , I knew within me that there could only be **_one real answer_** to her question. The question where I lied to Kyra for the first and last time. But, never again.  
“No. **I can and will never regret meeting the missing princess**. Not even how the universe and fate themselves let our story end.”

“S-Signore?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Was I starting to hear things? Was I going insane? Probably. A whole lot. But... the moment Kiana’s _amber eyes_ turned wide and started quivering as she squealed in pure surprise,  
“C-Ce ne peut pas être... y-you’re...?!”  
“Y-Your highness...?”  
I don’t know if I was even dreaming or this was real life, yet... as my brown gaze met the woman with the _ever magnetic baby blue eyes and long, honey blonde hair_ , it was surreal. Surreal in the most nerve wrecking way possible.  
“L-Looks like my cover has been blown so easily by you signore, and this little mademoiselle right here...”  
“I-It’s really you... **t-the missing princess**... P-Princess Kyra...”  
As soon as Kiana mentioned Kyra’s name while staring at her _blue eyes_ in disbelief, the former could only shyly nod and bow her head slightly saying with a warm smile, _the smile that made my heart squeeze_ on cue,  
“The missing princess huh? Why do I feel like I’ve heard that from somewhere before?”  
“...”  
“O-Oncle Jin?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
Even as Kiana’s voice was resounding inside my ears, I remained still like a frozen statue just gazing at _one woman whom I last saw in her most radiant, in her most beautiful, in her wedding gown that mnemonic summer last year_. However now, this very point in time, seeing Kyra all over again without fair warning whatsoever, in her _white, cotton, sleeveless blouse paired with her periwinkle blue, polka dot, knee length, midi skirt, and her simple, black flip flops_ , it made my heartbeat go erratic. Even more so when she was wearing _the very hat she had worn back when we met all those years ago_. _**Not to mention, it wasn’t only her smile that glimmered and blinded me**_.  
“Little mademoiselle... do you happen to know me?”  
“A-Ah oui, Princess Kyra... I could tell immediately from the **aquamarine necklace** you’re wearing. It’s... it’s really pretty just like you.”  
“W-What?”  
As Kiana then eyed me with her sad gaze, I just shook my head and returned her eye signal trying to tell her not to say anything more with a smile myself.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kiana, dearest... can you...?”  
Immediately understanding what I was trying to tell her, Kiana nodded with a bit of tears dripping down her _amber eyes_ and said lastly before she politely excused herself,  
“A-Ah... oui, Oncle Jin. Ne t'inquiète pas... it was really nice... it was really an honor to finally meet and see you, Princess Kyra.”

 _BGM: How can I love the heartbreak, you’re the one I love (AKMU)_  
As we watched Kiana walked towards the other part of the beach while leaving her small footsteps, Kyra then told me with a soft sigh,  
“It’s been a long while... it’s been a long while since I’ve heard someone address me using **Princess Kyra instead of Princess Kyrea**...”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Your highness...”  
“‘Not even you signore, whose name still remains a mystery to me this very day, has called me other than _your highness_ too.”  
“...”  
How am I supposed to tell the very woman standing in front of me, _the very woman whom I had told myself to lock at the back of my memories_ , that **_I have no right whatsoever to say the name I’ve been privileged once to say before_**.  
“Since that beautiful little mademoiselle kept on calling you uncle, she must be your niece then huh, signore?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Sì...”  
Yes, _mia amore_. Kyra, little Kiana’s the precious daughter of my most precious friend. The very friend whom I mentioned to you in the past named Namjoon. The one who dragged me to exhibits and taught me the language of flowers as well. _Of course... you couldn’t remember any of that. Not a single thing_.  
“Signore... why are you giving me such listless replies? It’s... it’s somehow making me feel queasy.”  
There were a lot of questions popping up inside my head, but the second I saw the _blue eyes I still cherish to this very day turn sadden_ , I had to get my shit together. _**Even no matter how much fate and the universe wants to throw me off course**_. As a slight summer breeze passed by that started to blow lightly on our hair, I just told her smiling, _smiling as if I wasn’t hurting on the inside like deja vu_ ,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I... I just can’t believe you’re really standing in front of me right here, right now, your highness.”  
“This isn’t a dream, signore. I’m really right here.”  
Yes I know, Kyra. You’re really in front of me again. _**And you’re still glowing as ever, my the one**_. Glowing as the aquamarine necklace and ring you still wore. _Whether this was a dream or not, I’m just glad to be able to see you_. But there’s no way in hell I’ll ever tell you that. I promise you from the wish I made for you.

“What brings the Princess of Monaco here?”  
“My eldest brother and I had some royal duties to do here... more like errands. But I was never good with long meetings and stuffy business like that. So, I ditched him and our bodyguards to take a peaceful walk around town. And then... I found this panoramic beachside.”  
As she continued to share with a hearty smile how she ended up here in _Northern France_ , I knew _any normal person would be crushed at seeing the love of their lives standing right beside them, and smiling happily at her current life without you in the picture_. Yet... deep down, nothing still beats a real, genuine smile written on Kyra’s face. _She was still the same odd and free spirited woman that I held and will always hold dear. **Her happiness still meant the world to me**._  
“This beachside really grants a calming effect to whoever comes here, your highness. It just makes you feel...”  
“ **Free**? Right, signore...?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“I just want to be free for once...”_  
Right you are as always, _mia amore_.  
“Sì, you read my mind exactly your highness.”  
“How about you signore? What brings you here in _Northern France_? Was it to visit your niece that was with you a while ago?”  
I had no reason to lie to her. I replied to her honestly,  
“I guess you can put it that way. This very town in _Northern France_ is where my closest friend and his most important person live together with their daughter.”  
“I see... even the way you were talking to that little mademoiselle made me realize that you two are very close. What an affectionate uncle you must be.”  
“Something very important happened to her today, that’s why I came to visit her.”  
Kyra then told me that she was hesitant to approach us at first because she wasn’t sure at first if it was me or not from my side profile.  
“Then, what made you approach us, your highness?”  
She didn’t hesitate to reply next,  
“There could only be **one man with the mysterious brown eyes** and still held onto the **white handkerchief** I had left him back at that very fountain in _Verona_.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“S-Signora...”  
“You finally called me **signora** instead of _your highness_ , signore.”  
 _“Call me Kyra. Just Kyra, Jin.”_  
The two of us just looked at each other in silence while the sea’s waves lingered in both of our hearings. I could only glimpse at Kyra’s future once. _Even as I was staring into her baby blue eyes after a year at that church, there were just no epiphanies anymore_. And to me, that felt like a real blessing. And with that also, I could finally bring myself to take out the other significant memento I’ve been keeping to myself from her. **_The one memento that deserves to be given back to her_**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Signora Kyra, I have something to return to you.”  
“S-Signore... what do you mean?”  
Taking out the _**golden key**_ I’ve been holding on to for her, Kyra’s _blue eyes_ started shaking at the sight of the key I held in my right hand.  
“T-That’s...?!”  
“Sì.”  
If this was fate’s way of giving me the last chance to see Kyra at this very place where there were no prying eyes anywhere, it was just the two of us, _there was no perfect time to give her the very key she herself had told me before to hold on to_.  
 _“I’m passing on this key to you, my Signore Jin...”_  
“W-Why do... w-why do you have this key, s-signore?”  
And of course, **_the truth is something I’ll take to my grave, my signora Kyra_**.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“You dropped it back when I helped at the fountain in _Verona_ , signora... but I... I lost all the proper time to return it to you ever since.”  
“S-Signore...”  
“It seemed important so I held on to it... and now, **I’m giving it back to the real owner**. Keep it safe, your highness.”  
As I placed the key on her right hand, few teardrops then dropped down to the very same _aquamarine ring_ on her third finger.  
“ **J-Just who are you really, signore**...?”  
With a longing smile, I just said to her with tears also forming around my eyes as I _gripped tightly on to her hands for the first time in a long while and probably for the last time_ as well,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ **I’m just someone who’s meant to pass by your life, signora Kyra. T-That’s all**...”

With a puzzled expression, Kyra’s tears continued on as she asked me once again,  
“P-Per favore... p-please tell me your name, signore...”  
I guess this is the right time huh universe? _The right time to tell myself this was okay. It was okay now. **It was okay to let go of these hands**. It was okay for me to let go of Kyra’s hands for the last time_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“If you’ll answer honestly my **last three questions** for you signora... I’ll tell you my name. I promise.”  
“S-Signore...”  
Stopping myself from embracing her in my arms and feeling her warmth or even kissing away the tears flooding her face, I know I could only do this. _To be fair to her and to be fair to my own self too_.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Are... are you still painting, signora Kyra?”  
“S-Sì... I still am. And I still do... every single day signore. H-How do you even know that...?”  
With a wry smile, I asked her next,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“W-Would you believe me if I told you that I can see a glimpse of someone else’s future when I lock eyes with them?”  
“S-Signore...”  
“Do you believe **a crazy man like me** , signora Kyra?”  
Gripping on tightly to the _key_ she was holding in her hand, Kyra just gave me a sheepish smile and nod replying,  
“I... I can’t never believe you, signore. **Trusting someone crazy as you... makes me the crazier one** , wouldn’t you think?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“How can I not believe you, signore Jin? With a fountain granting my wish and you being able to see the future... we’re both lunatics then I think?”_  
 ** _My heart fluttered and ached at her replies_**. Memories or not, Kyra still managed to move me genuinely just like she had done before. And because of her honest to goodness answers, I let the last of my tears slid down my cheeks as I tried my hardest to smile at her and asked the very last question while _glancing at the wedding ring glistening on her left hand’s fourth finger_ ,  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“The last question for you... h-have you been keeping your promise to me, your highness? Are you... are you happy?”  
“S-Signore...”  
“That’s the **most important question** of all, signora Kyra.”  
With a relieved smile, Kyra nodded and closed her eyes for a few seconds that also the rest of her tears glided down her rosy cheeks before telling me the words I’ve been yearning to hear.  
“Y-Yes. S-Sì... I’ve been keeping my promise to you by being sincerely happy, signore.”  
And with those choice of words coming out from Kyra’s own lips, it was time. _It was time to let go of her. It was time to let go of Kyra_. **_And... I don’t regret one single thing that had happened because of her_**.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Then... that’s all that matters to me, signora Kyra.”  
“Call me Kyra. Just Kyra. I believe you owe me your name now, signore...?”  
Underneath the _summer sky in 1982_ , at the very beachfront that brought back Namjoon and Keira to each other’s lives two years ago, _**the man who could glimpse at the future named Kim Seokjin and the once missing princess named Princess Kyra saw each other for the first and last time in the most inexplicable way possible**._  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“My name is Seokjin Kim, signora Kyra. But you can call me Jin. Just Jin. That’s all you need to know, your highness.”

When I said my goodbyes to Kyra the moment her bodyguards had already found her standing here at the beachside with me, she asked me lastly one question,  
“Signore Jin... did you happen to know I love painting by glimpsing into a future of me painting through looking into my blue eyes?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Glancing at her silhouette with the _honey blonde hair and baby blue eyes_ **_one last tim_ e** that was being _blown beautifully by the summer breeze_ , I wholeheartedly told her with a subtle smile and chuckle,  
“No. Someone important to me once said that **painting helps her preserve a particular moment in time that she wants to remember, whether now or in the far future**... that’s how I felt when I looked into your baby blue eyes. I hope you paint and remember this beachside that feels like **holy ground** to me from this day on forth, Princess Kyra.”

And that was how Kyra and I passed by each other’s lives at the ending of this story. Like how _Joe Bradley_ was only meant to pass by _Princess Anne’s_ life at the end of _**Roman Holiday**_.

_**It was a bittersweet ending, but... it was the most selfless ending to our story that I could ever wish for.** _   
_A wish that came true out of me letting go of the 1 person that wasn’t meant to end up in my orbit in this universe._

Nevertheless in all certainty, it was still a story worth to be reminisced once you’ve reached reading this, my dear Kayla.

Just like how mademoiselle Keira, your grandmama, used to say,  
 _“Even the greatest loves of all time need to be remembered and passed on.”_

****  
 _Summer of 2020:  
In a private studio museum  
Seoul, South Korea_

 _BGM: hopes for tomorrow (SEJEONG)  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“M-Monsieur Jin... w-why...”  
My trembling right hand could only graze on the oil painting that was displayed right in front of me. The very oil painting mentioned in the last part of the third story. _The very painting of the man with the mysterious brown eyes and the woman with the baby blue eyes smiling together in front of the cathedral in Monaco_. **_The very last painting Princess Kyra had painted for the very man standing a short distance behind me_**.  
“Please my dear, you can call me grandpa. I don’t mind. Your grandmama is the only one who had that privilege to call me like that before. And... I’m technically your _godfather_ too.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“G-Grandpa Jin...”  
My heart was still in ruin and in heavy tears after he told me the whole story. _His story with Princess Kyra_. He then walked up to my side and gently wiped the tears plastered all over my face.  
“Now, now my dear goddaughter... mademoiselle Keira is going to give me a good scolding in my dreams later if you keep on crying like this now. Your beautiful face doesn’t deserve sad tears.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-How can I not cry at an ending like that, grandpa? D-Do you really expect me to believe it was okay with you for Princess Kyra to not remember you and your memories together?”  
First it was _august’s ending_ , and next was _exile’s ending_ , and now it was _the 1’s ending_. None of these stories ended in the way I would normally hope for. Yet... I guess that’s how real life works. _**Not every story that started with once upon a time can end in happily ever after**_.  
“It’s funny huh my dear... how all _three stories_ you came across so far had to deal with their most important persons forgetting about the other party. And all of us reacted to it differently. **Your grandfather. Yoongi-ssi. And myself**.”  
Now that he had mentioned it, _grandmama, Doctor Kolette, and Princess Kyra_ did forget about all their most important person. He was right. I still had no idea what happened between my grandparents within those four years right after grandmama’s accident. With both Doctor Kolette and Princess Kyra, they forgot due to some fantasy-like events. _**Yet overall... all because of fate and timing playing a big part**_.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“G-Grandpa Jin... was it really worth it? Was it really worth it for _Princess Kyra_ to forget you just so she can be happy without you? Like how the universe took away _Doctor Kolette_ from Yoongi-ssi? And how my grandmama got into an accident and asked who my grandfather was when she woke up?”  
Grandpa Jin just tried to console me by stroking me comfortingly on my still shaking back because of my sobbing.  
“ **Memories are fragile little things, my dear Kayla**. Why do you think your grandmama kept a box filled with of all the letters she received from your grandfather before little Kiana found about everything? Why do you think Kolette-ssi made that scrapbook when her memories were fading away? Why do you think Kyra gave me all these paintings in this whole room?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“G-Grandpa Jin...”  
What he said to Princess Kyra for the last time echoed inside my head. And yes, it all started to make sense little by little. _The old letters. The old photos. The scrapbook. The paintings_. _**All of them were sentimental symbolisms mentioned over and over again throughout the whole three stories**_.  
 _“Painting helps her preserve a particular moment in time that she wants to remember, whether now or in the far future,”  
“Open this scrapbook in case you miss me,”  
“No amount of letters I wrote and sent to you would be enough to tell you how sorry I am for what I did,”  
*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“ **To... to preserve memories because memories maybe forgotten but they can always be preserved**... is that what you mean, grandpa?”  
“Just as smart as your grandfather you are, dear Kayla.”  
Wiping the remainder of my tears, I grazed my hand again at the gold plate with the oil painting’s title and small description which said,

> _**The missing princess and the man who can glimpse into the future.**  
>  (Painted by: the once missing princess)  
> — “if one thing had been different, would everything be different today?”_

_*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“All of the paintings are absolutely irreplaceable, grandpa Jin...”  
My light hazel eyes just stared warmly at all the displayed canvases in the wide room. _**Canvases painted by that one princess and kept by this one man himself all these years**_. _From the very first painting he gave to her of their first meeting place which is the fountain at Verona, the Lamberti tower they climbed at Verona, the one from Juliet’s house and balcony, Lake Garda where they went fishing and grandpa asked the princess to be his, The Grand Canal at Venice where the princess asked him to be hers in return, that staircase in Venice where they shared a romantic kiss, the Spanish steps in Rome, the Trevi fountain in Rome, the garden and small temple near the lakes in Rome where they shared a very intimate but significant moment, that tower in Milan where they made up after their first fight, the cathedral in Monaco, the rose garden she had shown him in secrecy and they made vows to each other, their night rendezvous on a boat where they shared their most innermost secrets, the masquerade ball they attended during the last winter they were together, and of course the very last painting before everything ended._  
“It’s notable how she had even finished and given me a painting for each memorable place we’ve visited together, Kayla... each of these paintings brings me back to that exact same day when it happened.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Grandpa Jin... was that really the last time you saw each other? At the very beach where my grandparents found one another?”  
As his _mysterious brown eyes_ then looked at me, my godfather just gave me a kind smile and said,  
“Yes my dear child. That was the first and last time. **The universe and fate never let us cross paths ever again since that day**.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Are you happy, grandpa Jin?”  
My question then made him chuckle and stare at me for a few short seconds, as if I made him remember something. _Something very meaningful from his own story_.  
“Yes. Yes, I’m a happy old man my dear one. I’ve lived a life without regrets already. That’s why... I want you, not only from your grandparents also, **to do the same with yours** , Kayla.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“I-Is that why you found me after all these time? E-Even finding me here in _Seoul_ itself?”  
“I may be old already but I’m still the same old jerk who can glimpse into other people’s futures you know. I knew this day would happen sooner but never later.”  
 _It was mind boggling_. And then once again, some of my questions have been answered.  
“G-Grandpa... why here in Seoul? Why... why did you put up a **mini museum** here in Seoul of all of Princess Kyra’s paintings instead of back in Europe?”  
Grabbing something from his pants’ pocket, he then handed over a _Polaroid photo_ and a _not-so unfamiliar white handkerchief_ to me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-This Polaroid and hankie...”  
“ **Some secrets are meant to be passed on to strangers, but never the ones who are directly involved dear Kayla**. It would’ve been a disaster if Kyra’s whole collection of paintings she doesn’t remember doing were seen by someone if I had built the museum somewhere in Europe. Even Kyra herself.”  
The _Polaroid_ was no other than Princess Kyra standing on _Juliet’s_ balcony and looking down at one man who was staring right above her from a distance by the front door near _Juliet’s_ statue.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ **Y-You really kept your promise of building her a museum, grandpa Jin**... even though it’s meant to be a secret, but for you to still keep and take care of everything she left and turning it into a wondrous place like this... it shows how much Princess Kyra means to you. And never in the past tense, grandpa...”  
“A promise is a promise, my dear. Not even timing and fate themselves could erase the fact that I promised her that. **I became a curator of this place to remind myself that what I went through together with Kyra was real**. If _Romeo and Juliet_ were only a work of fiction, even _Princess Anne and Joe_ were only movie characters... Kyra and I,”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“ **Were real life people who fell in love in a real place, in a real time. That the story of the _missing princess and the man who was able to see a glimpse of the future_ through someone’s eyes is not a work of fiction... but a real life tale**?”  
As dry tears formed around my eyes, grandpa Jin pulled me in closer for a hug. My first hug with my godfather who had the _broadest of shoulders and mysterious brown eyes_. And had _the most selfless heart ever._  
“Mademoiselle Keira was right... you’re growing up beautifully inside and out, Kayla. If only she could see you now. The courage you must’ve fostered to come here to Seoul, it’s unbelievable.”  
“Grandpa Jin...”  
“I know you’re going out of your comfort zone to find the answers you’re seeking because of your grandmama, dear one.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“T-Then grandpa Jin... you must know then...! The real reason why grandmama gave me the **red book**. And you might even know where my grandfather is.”  
I was getting hopeful that maybe my search would be over, but grandpa Jin’s face then turned dim. That wasn’t a good sign. At all.  
“I’m sorry, Kayla...”  
“G-Grandpa...”  
“I’m not the one you should be seeking answers for. And about your grandfather... I haven’t seen him myself in years already.”  
Great. Another dead end. In which direction are you really trying to pull me towards, grandmama?  
“Haaaa... you and Yoongi-ssi said the same thing... **that you’re both not the ones who can answer my questions**. Nobody knows where my grandfather is... whom should I be asking then?”  
Grandpa Jin then let out a long sigh before he took both of my hands and gripped it tightly while staring deeply into my _light hazel eyes_.  
“ **The two people who are closer to you than you think are the same ones you should be asking** , dear Kayla.”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
The two people who are closer to me than I think?  
“G-Grandpa... y-you don’t mean...”  
With a smile and nod, he then handed over a postcard to me. A postcard of a place mentioned during the end of _august_. The very place of _**Lake District in England**_ itself. Then I knew where the next course of this story was heading.  
“How is Kiana and your father by the way?”

_And with just one question, another piece of the puzzle that had been in the works for years was fit into place._

To think the very people that could bring me closer to the answers I’ve been finding since chapter one were **them**.  
 _ **My parents themselves.**_

_Though, the pages to that story was very much saved next in line right after the 1._

****  
 _— end of the 1: Kim Seokjin’s story arc —  
  
 **To be continued.**_

~~_finished: 01/21/2021_ ~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of the movie / series references I made and were inspired for the 1: 😭  
> — Roman Holiday (movie)  
> — Romeo and Juliet (play)  
> — Kana and Hattori’s story in Fruits Basket (anime series)  
> — On your wedding day (movie)  
> — Cinderella (folktale)  
> — Bridgerton (historical series)
> 
> Seokjin’s story mostly revolved around movie or series inspirations I have watched and read about. 🥺


End file.
